Curious Wandering Mind

One's Time

2012-03-08T23:25:00.000-05:00

Lately there has been a lot on my plate. I work, I'm doing my 2nd Masters degree (insane, I know!), and trying to keep everything else afloat. As the time passes by, I see my savings diminishing at a pace that I definitely wish were slower. I know that I must either obtain another job, or at least get myself another. My fear is that if I do switch jobs now, I will have to leave it soon. Here's the story. I took a test for a city job and passed with an excellent grade. I can be called at any moment. If I find another job, but am called for the city job I originally applied for, that will not look good on my record. However, I do know that I must do what is best for me. Hence, why I'm back in school. And while I know that there are many individuals just struggling to get an associates or bachelors degree, I am here complaining about this second masters. Let's just say my bachelors and 1st masters degree did nothing for me. Here I'm hoping that my 2nd masters does. It's in the health field, so it should!

I know many say, "my time is now!" But here I am stating loudly that I need to make my time...No leaving it to others to do it for me. I have to grab a hold of my life and command it the way I want. So here's to hoping for an enriching experience....Cheers!

So if everything is normal, then...

2011-11-30T19:26:00.000-05:00

My supporters, I apologize for not posting anything in almost a year. But here it goes.

I went to the doctors office the other day to get a regular physical and all the works (i.e. blood work). As the nurse it taking my blood pressure, then my weight, and finally my blood, I begin to think "there has to be something wrong with me because I don't feel well most of the time". My blood pressure was completely normal. My weight, well let's just say I can lose about 20 pounds. I speak with my doctor and tell her all my ailments. She sends me antibiotics for my ear because it's a bit inflamed. She sends me a medicated cream for my back because it hurts. She sends me medication to stop my dizziness.

Ok, a week passes by and I get my blood results. I think "ok, I'm ready for the bad news." Turns out, I'm as healthy as can be! I smile with confusion. How can this be? I don't feel well! Let me see those results! Nothing was out of range!

So if everything is normal, then why do I feel like such a mess?

Just curious

2011-01-06T02:15:00.001-05:00

The year begins the fear within, let love shine through my eyes. I hold on tight, appreciate life. To you I will give in!

Growing Up is NOT Hard to Do!

2011-01-05T22:34:00.000-05:00

Growing up does NOT happen as soon as we turn a certain age! Yet, there are those who REFUSE to do any growing up all while doing grown up things!!! People! Will you think for a second?!

Yes, have a relationship, fall in love, make a family...but don't forget your other responsibilities; don't forget your loved ones.

Yes, celebrate major events, have some fun...but don't disobey the rules of the person whose roof you live under; don't forget to think before you speak or do.

Yes, splurge a little, reward yourself...but don't forget that you have major bills to pay; don't forget your budget.

I am nowhere near perfect, nor am I saying I haven't committed the above mentioned "crimes", but what I'm saying is that many things can be easily prevented. We know what's right from wrong! We know what to do, how to do it, and how to live a respectable life..one that we and our loved ones would be content with. There is no need to compromise one thing for the other. There is usually a middle ground to everything, and when we find that middle ground, that is when we have grown up.

So folks, Growing Up is NOT Hard to Do!!!

The Beast Witihn Cries at Times

2010-12-30T01:06:00.000-05:00

Educated...physically and mentally strong...nice and loving...stubborn...doing what's right...loathes when doing wrong...sensitive. Me in a nutshell. Mind boggles when analyzing my personality and why it clashes with a group of people within my family, yet if spending time together with no more than 2 or 3 of them at a time or individually, our persona's mesh fabulously.

Could it be me? Am I truly the odd one in the family. Instead of being the black sheep, am I the white? Does this mean that everyone perceives me as miss snotty goody two shoes?

Or am I a Beast who needs to cry?

Life's Expectations, Life's Misery?

2010-12-27T19:33:00.000-05:00

Always forming hopes and creating goals, working hard expecting to come out above in various aspects of one's life. Yet all you receive is, enslavement, abuse, belittlement or become discouraged when all doors close for you but open for everyone else who have not even attempted to prove themselves worthy of such opportunities.

My father used to tell me that I was close-minded and always managed to drown myself in a glass of water when trying to figure things out or make plans. I'm actually very open-minded, I just don't like breaking the rules! Every time I bend them slightly, I panic, filled with rage and regret. I expect the worse to avoid shock and disappointment when it happens.

Expectations create our forthcoming misery!

Baby Shower or Grown Up Party?

2010-12-12T01:58:00.000-05:00

*I do not intend on hurting or belittling anyone by this blog post. Please do not take it personally or as an offense. I apologize ahead of time if you feel insulted*

For as long as I can remember, Baby Showers occurred either on Saturday or Sunday early afternoon, usually after Mass. I remember this tradition being practiced until about 2 years ago. Suddenly, either I or someone I know will receive an invitation for this joyful event but the time on the invitation reads "7:00 PM" or "9:00 PM". I'm sorry! You'll have to excuse me, but HUH? When did it become "OK" for a Baby Shower to take place after Happy Hour?

Is this the new fad? Is this the new norm? Am I old fashioned? I ask because if I were to ever become pregnant and if someone threw me a baby shower, I would want it to be early enough so that I can get home at a reasonable time and rest due to my swollen ankles and excruciatingly painful back/hips. I would like to be home by 7PM LATEST! But at that hour, most baby showers are just beginning!!! Pregnant women, I ask you: don't you appreciate being in bed early to rest because the hundred-pound baby inside is making you ache all over? Or am I just postal for thinking this way?

Become pensive for a moment! A child's birthday party usually partakes in the early afternoon, correct? Well, isn't a Baby Shower technically your child's first Party? The items received are for the baby! Even the breast pump, because it is what will allow the mother to dispense and distribute nourishment for her child. I'm right, right? I know I'm right!

But, regardless of my concerns/questions, this new practice seems like it will stick. When it's my turn, though, I WILL have an EARLY Baby Shower and NOT a Grown Up Party!! You've been warned!

The Troubles of Monies

2010-12-09T23:52:00.002-05:00

The Holidays approach, the excitement begins. Beautiful materials convert us into "Gotta Have It" Ogre's! We put on our walking sneakers and most comfortable pair of jeans or sweats only to power-walk through the monstrosities holding each necessity and desire, all while making them readily available to us ON SALE! If we aren't racing "before quantities run out", we are preparing a cup of coffee, hot chocolate, or maybe hot apple cider (it's currently very cold outside) in our pj's or extra comfy sweats just to browse the web and catch even more deals. Hey, maybe we prepare our beverages and with our "Snuggie"placed correctly, plant ourselves in front of the television set to watch one of those shopping channels.

It isn't until after the credit card (deliciously evil piece of plastic) bill arrives that our eyes widen, throat gulps, heart sinks, and tears overflow at the sight of our horrendous mistake due to the inability to just say NO! To OURSELVES! We ARE allowed to put ourselves in our place, but why is there the desire not to? The outcome is extremely predictable and cannot honestly believe we have anyone else to blame but ourselves for being so irresponsible with our finances.

Career-less are we today! Jobless are we right now! Capital on our minds, but not in our hands, pockets, and especially not our bank accounts. So why put ourselves through the Troubles of Monies?

Am I a Hoarder?

2010-12-08T00:53:00.000-05:00

I live in a huge mess. Organized mess, but still massive. I very much want to throw everything out and begin anew but I create sentimental value. I have precise, clean, and orderly images in my mind of how I want this place to look; yet I fail to execute my task. I begin by throwing everything on the 25 year old carpet, the full size bed that's been vacant for over a year, and on the dresser that needs some TLC. "YES!" I exclaim as if accomplishing a major task: an empty closet. Anger, then tears form and suddenly I'm sobbing as I see the mess I've made. Flashbacks to my image of my perfect place as I sort through the mess and separate the bad, the possible donations, and definite keeps. Reality kicks me in my shin and again I sob because the more I try to make sense of my mess, the more repulsive sight I create. Am I a Hoarder?