(This isn’t as weird as it sounds. My parents are dead. All grandparents bar one are dead. And the greats? Long gone.)

Obviously they were sexual enough to reproduce, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. That goes for the ancestors of most everyone on the planet. But were they happy? Did they smile, or ‘think of England‘? Did they have relations because it was part of marriage and  expected of them, or necessary to survive, or did they take pleasure – and give pleasure – and feel joy in coming together?

There’s a lot of awesome vintage porn and erotica out there, so some folks were having a blast! But what about mine?

Did my mother masturbate? Chances are good – she tried, unsuccessfully, to help me purchase a vibrator when I was in my late teens. That said, she really had no idea where to go, and was looking in pharmacies.

Did my father masturbate? Chances are also good – every year he purchased the January Playboy (or was it the December one?) that had the best of the previous year. He hid them in the back of his wardrobe, but in a box on the floor. Not the safest with curious teens! His second wife probably threw them away, which is a shame, as I never found them after he died. He also had a soft spot for the rude cartoons that appears in them, and had a pile of cheap paperbacks which collected them. I managed to snag those before they were lost, and still love reading them.

Did they find pleasure together? I fear that they did not. I hope that I am wrong (but a few thing my mother said in the months before she died, once married for a second time? I think she struck out in both marriages). I mean really, sleeping naked – something I definitely inherited – and on a waterbed – something I didn’t – has to mean something, right?

I know even less about my grandparents. I want to think of them (as I want to think of everyone) as sexual people. It’s just hard to reconcile with the teachers, the preachers, the seniors that I looked up to as I grew up. Still, age can be irrelevant to sex and pleasure. My grandmother had a good look through the recent catalogue of sex toys and pleasure products I had sitting on the coffee table a few visits back…

I’m set to wondering because today is Father’s Day here in New Zealand. My dad is fourteen years gone next week, and Father’s Day was one of the very last times I saw him alive, as I visited him in the hospice. He looked like a saint – gaunt and drawn and very thin – and was definitely not far from dying.

Later today I’m going to pick up my terminally ill brother – who I know all too well has had no sex drive, or life, at all for a number of years now (poor bastard) – from the same hospice. His daughter isn’t coming down to see him today (although I know she wants to).  So we’re going to a movie together instead, and spending some quality time.

It’s not orgasmic pleasure. But it’s important for me, and him, and family. I just hope that’s not what my ancestors settled for.

With this weeks favourites, just looking makes me want to get involved. A shame I’m on the far side of a computer screen!

Viemoira

“Ever since we were little, we were so on fire for our dreams. We never let anyone blow our flames out.” – Kelly Rowland

Fred Bloggs

“A punishment to some, to some a gift, and to many a favour.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

**

If you missed them, here’s your chance to visit earlier favourites:
Arousal
Appreciation
Shining Gleaming Steaming Flaxen Waxen
Curves curves curves

Over at BigThink, I took the online test. And, funnily enough, came out as rather promiscuous. What really amused me, though, is that it suggested the country I would be most ‘at home’ in is Finland: the #1 most promiscuous country out of the 48 countries the study evaluated. Huh.

Even more amusing was the #2 country. Can you guess what it was? Well, it’s exactly where I am now: New Zealand. Go go sexy kiwis!

So – go take the test and tell me which country you should be in. Will you join me in New Zealand? Or visit me in Finland? Or will I have to come to you instead?

Buck wears boots. I like to black boots.

I follow Buck’s twitter – and I have no shame…

Which is how, dear readers, I ended up blacking Buck Angel’s boots – as well as meeting and chatting with Dana DeArmond and Nina Hartley – last Friday night.

Amie was kind enough to take photos! No clicks this week .

Step 1: Clean the boots. They needed it! I used Kiwi Quick n’ Clean Wipes for this.

Step 2: Moisturise the boots. This took the longest, because it uses quite a bit of elbow grease. I used home-made 20% super-fatted Saddle Soap, made by TradeMe user Keano1. (Ingredients, for the curious: Tallow, Anhydrous lanolin, Glycerin, Peppermint essential oil, Lye (sodium hydroxide), Water).

Step 3: Chat with Buck and Dana while I apply polish to the boots. I used Kiwi black parade gloss polish for this (although my blacking kit also has neutral, light brown, medium brown and dark brown polishes. I am prepared!).

Step 4: Continue the polish – removing the excess at this point. Each colour has a brush to apply it, and a brush to remove it.

By this point I was also getting extremely distracted by Buck’s cock. Guh. (His response when I told him this: ‘Well of course my cock is hard – look what you’re doing to my boots!’)

Step 5: And last but not least, buff the boots. Shiny shiny shiny! I have a buffing puff, made of corduroy, that I use. Then I finish it all off with a sponge for the uber-shine.

Can you believe that I’d never shined the boots of anyone other than very patient lovers before? Eep. Still, two years of practice showed – Buck was delighted, I was pleased (albeit sweaty – there’s a reason I went topless, and it wasn’t just for Dana to perve at my boobs), and Nina Hartley asked if I could do hers the next day (I agreed, naturally)!

Yes, I love my life

**

Don’t forget to have a look at my favourite pictures from last week, featuring Evey and Lady Grinning Soul!

It’s great to see pictures where the person being photographed is obviously turned on. It arouses me in turn!

Evey

“I’m all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults.” – Gore Vidal

Lady Grinning Soul

“It is not sex that gives the pleasure, but the lover.”  – Marge Piercy

**

If you missed them, here’s your chance to visit earlier favourites:
Appreciation
Shining Gleaming Steaming Flaxen Waxen
Curves curves curves
Temperature Change

I was planning to go and watch. How could I not, with Buck Angel, Nina Hartley, Dana Dearmond and my own lovely AmieWee participating? Unfortunately, a lack of energy (damned migraine) let me down and I spent the day at home instead.

But I can have my own parade, right? Well, perhaps not. Still, with the assistance of Hylas and his bicycle, you all still get to see a) my boobs, on b) a bike.

Clicks on the photos get you me and my boobs NEXT to the bike. Woo!

What I neglected to take into consideration is Hylas’ height. He’s six foot four tall, and tall person = tall bicycle! The seat of this thing is above my hips.

I had to stand on a chair to get onto the bike!

Having gotten myself onto the bicycle, I remembered why I don’t like them. The seat. Oh lord, the seat. Just resting on it made my cunt ache.

Next step: feet on pedals.

Bad idea…

With my feet on the pedals, I proceeded to s l o w l y fall over, taking bike, chair, and me with it! Hylas was suddenly concerned, I was highly amused, and the bike foot-stand was bent beyond all recognition. Whoops!

The things I do for you, lovely readers

No, let’s be fair. I do it for myself! But you get to benefit as well!

**

Don’t forget to have a look at my favourite pictures from last week, featuring Lila and Tiger.

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #19? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Off Limits for 30 Days – “You don’t listen very well,” I heard her hiss. “That’s off limits, damn you.” And there was a crack and fiery agony clawed into my back.

The Joy of Sucking Cock – I wonder at times if that is why I am such a “good little cocksucker” as W calls me. When I am deeply into it, I almost enter this place where I am both the sucker and suckee, and it is as though it is MY cock being sucked on.

This intensity gets me riled when I am tied up (photo story) – James picked up that evil strap again. I watched helplessly as he positioned himself to use it on my pussy… Ever so lightly he started. Flick, flick, flick.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Ask Lilly: How do I know if a sex toy has phthalates in it? – The studies going around are saying that phthalate exposure can damage all sorts of organs, and can possibly cause cancer. There are a lot of harmful things in our world these days that we can’t avoid – so when we CAN avoid something like toxins in our sex toys, we should.

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Portal. Confession #493 – It truly is a spiritual give and take, these sexual relationships I form. I can cross the threshold and see however much of someone that I choose to see, with whomever it is that I am involved with.

See also: Pleasurists #88 and #89 for all your sex toy review needs.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Defying Gravity with Carrie Moon
Interview with Dylan Ryan
Is “The Smoking Jacket” a Smoking Gun?
Naked and Famous
That’s discrimination! -or- Two Words I’m Sick of Hearing
Very Deserved Wrath- Not So New Problems

Kink & Fetish

10 Things I Love About My Slave
A Rope Pride Flag?
At Last
Correlations
dutch part 6 – the finale!
Discovering DebPorn
Independence Day
Kinkster Me
No Mosquito Fetish Here
Our First Play Time – Part 1
Please
Post Exploratorium HNT
Sex and Kink
Subspace
Thoughts on Single Tailing
THIS is what happens to naughty little redheaded sluts…

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Declaration of Independence — From the eXes
Ass to Mouth
Bi The Way – Male Bisexuality and Swinging
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
Euphemisms
Flying The Red Flag
Natural Born Swingers
Partnerships
Transtastic: On Coming Out as a Political Act
The Ins & Outs of Anal Sex
The Cialis Effect
Unusually High Sex Drive
Where is My G Spot?
Why Won’t Anyone Respond? — Help for Your Swinger Inbox

Erotic Writing

Adventures in Fisting
A Collision of Desires
boo full
Creature of habit pt. 3
Flashback: Our First Time
Fred
Fantasy: Australia Day
Good Morning
Get Down, Dirty & Get The Hell Out
I want…
Licked to orgasm
Sweat & Summer
Sparkly Vamp Erotica
The Ordeal (part one)
Upstairs. Now.
Wrestle

We all have our kinks, fetishes, and appreciations. Two items that I’ve learned to appreciate, in a perverted sense, over the past year are featured in this week’s favourites. What are they? Gritty gasmasks and plush, soft, luscious fur.

Lila

“Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid or something?”
“Oh no. It’s just they’re terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.”
- The Princess Bride, by William Goldman

Tiger

“It’s the same seduction that one first feels when touching cashmere or fur, … Nobody touches fur once, or cashmere once. With wine, you want to keep it in your mouth, you want to play with it, you want to roll it around until you get it.”
- Joshua Wesson

**

If you missed them, here’s your chance to visit earlier favourites:
Shining Gleaming Steaming Flaxen Waxen
Curves curves curves
Temperature Change
Portions

Untitled 3, by Samantha Wolov

No! She could feel it coming, and she didn’t want to let go. To let go meant losing control, losing the framework that kept her life in neat boxes. Letting go was scary, was hard, was …

No choice. She had no choice at all – it was all swept away, tumbled and flung into the foamy oceans of orgasm – any semblance of balance destroyed in a majestic wave of intense feeling. Her back arched, her teeth bared, her cunt clenched as she followed the tide and came.

Later, blissful, she was drifting, floating, crashing to earth. Limp and drowsy, she couldn’t help but smile at the voice susurrating near her ear, “You’re allowed to let go. I’ll always keep you safe; bouy you up.”

No need to hold on. Letting go was fine. The ocean would nurture and keep her, until she returned to land. Washed clean.

Challenge details. 149 words.

But my night was made when a woman came up to me at the bar as I was ordering a drink and asked, somewhat shyly, if I’d been on television recently? I replied in the affirmative. Yes – she’d seen me on Wero!

It seems that even, as I was that evening, wearing make-up and with my hair down, I was recognisable. I was absolutely thrilled that someone I didn’t know in real life had seen me on television – and she was delighted to have met someone who had been on the telly (yes, really). We spent the rest of the evening talking sporadically, and, before I left, exchanging contact details. How awesome to have a new friend?

Hylas, on the other had, isn’t really that recognisable from his stint of television fame. Unless he’s with me, folks aren’t like to make the connection. But still – didn’t he look awesome?

Click all pics for extras. And be sure to look on twitter and tumblr for bonus photos not shown here!

Everyone was fascinated by his latex catsuit. The feel of it, the look of it – and the way we made it shiny (ArmorAll wipes). Oddly, everyone wanted to help shine him up

Funnily enough, most of the previous interviews they’d done had been done standing. I don’t have that much energy – and was wearing heels for a change – so I wanted to sit. Handily, there were two high stools and a low chair: this meant Hylas could sit lower, with his head in my lap.

Deb, the soundperson (who also took most of these photos) was just fascinated by the gasmask. The straps, the eye-holes, the breathing ports – there were quite a lot of shots when I got my camera back!

Because he was there as eye-candy, a fashion show at the end was a must! He looked pretty awesome posing in front of the wheel, don’t you agree?

Being well-prepared, Hylas had brought a few outfits with him to the filming. Once they saw the tiger zentai outfit, they wanted him to take a turn in that, too! (I think it was the tail that got their attention.)

Me, I wanted pics of all the eye-candy. So getting Elton to pose with Hylas wasn’t too hard. He did need to watch out for claws, though.

One more week of Wero pics – it’s been almost as much sharing them with you all as it was getting them taken!

**

Don’t forget to have a look at my favourite pictures from last week, featuring SapioSlut, Coy Pink and Blue-Eyed Vixen.