Big girls you are beautiful

Big girl you are beautiful

Walks in to the room
Feels like a big balloon
I said, ‘Hey girls you are beautiful’
Diet coke and a pizza please
Diet coke I’m on my knees
Screaming ‘Big girl you are beautiful’

You take your skinny girls
Feel like I’m gonna die
Cos a real woman
Needs a real man is why

You take your girl
And multiply her by four
Now a whole lotta woman
Needs a whole lot more

Get yourself to the Butterfly Lounge
Find yourself a big lady
Big boy come on around
And they’ll be calling you baby

No need to fantasise
Since I was in my braces
A watering hole
With the girls around
And curves in all the right places

Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful

Walks in to the room
Feels like a big balloon
I said, ‘Hey girls you are beautiful’
Diet coke and a pizza please
Diet coke I’m on my knees
Screaming ‘Big girl you are beautiful’

You take your girl
And multiply her by four
Now a whole lotta woman
Needs a whole lot more

Get yourself to the Butterfly Lounge
Find yourself a big lady
Big boy come on around
And they’ll be calling you baby

No need to fantasise
Since I was in my braces
A watering hole
With the girls around
And curves in all the right places

Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful

Get yourself to the Butterfly Lounge
Find yourself a big lady
Big boy come on around
And they’ll be calling you baby

No need to fantasise
Since I was in my braces
A watering hole
With the girls around
And curves in all the right places

Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Oh you are beautiful

Get yourself to the Butterfly Lounge
Find yourself a big lady
Big boy come on around
And they’ll be calling you baby

No need to fantasise
Since I was in my braces
A watering hole
With the girls around
And curves in all the right places

Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Oh you are beautiful

Get yourself to the Butterfly Lounge
Find yourself a big lady
Big boy come on around
And they’ll be calling you baby

No need to fantasise
Since I was in my braces
A watering hole
With the girls around
And curves in all the right places

Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girl you are beautiful

* Courtesy of Mika

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Gabby in a scene from 'Precious'

Following the capture of 3 Golden Globes awards for the film “Precious”, we profile its leading actress, the captivating Big Beautiful Woman, Gabourey ‘Gabby’ Sidibe.

Born in Brooklyn to R&B singer Alice Tan Ridley and Senegalese born taxi-driver Ibnou Sidibe, she moved to Harlem with her mother after her parents separated.

Her performance in the film “Precious” has been lauded by critics but Sidibe has garnered as much fame for her acting skills as well as her size. And yes, you cannot miss it. Sidibe weighs in at 350 pounds but revels in every ounce of her feminity. It is said that when she was 11, one of her aunts offered to pay for a cruise if she lost 50 pounds and says Sidibe, she continues to have friends and family members trying to make her conform to societys ideal of “thin is in”. She recounts a friend who when she was once eating a potato chip “eyeballed me like I was the most disgusting thing she’d ever seen. She says, ‘Every time you want to put something disgusting in your mouth, think of the designers who won’t make a dress for you because you’re fat.”

Fortunately, Sidibe is as intelligent as she is pretty as she goes on “But at some point, I learned to love myself, because I sleep with myself every night and I wake up with myself every morning, and if I don’t like myself, there’s no reason to even live the life. I love the way I look. I’m fine with it. And if my body changes, I’ll be fine with that too.”

Her self confidence is one of her admirable qualities and is one of the reasons she got the part. According to the films director, Lee Daniels “She is unequivocally comfortable in her body, in a very bizarre way. Either she’s in a state of denial or she’s so elevated that she’s on another level,” he says. “I had no doubt in my mind that she had four or five boyfriends, easily.”
Speaking on the pressure to loose weight now that she’s a star Gabby waxes philosophical “’You realise that the pressure, the bulk of it, is coming from you, from your own insecurities. So the pressure is probably around the same, maybe a little less just because I like myself more. But not because I’ve done a movie. I just like myself more each day.’”

In the film, which is based on the book ‘Push’ by Sapphire, Gabourey ‘Gabby’ Sidibe plays Claireece or ‘Precious’ as she calls herself Jones an overwight illiterate teen, mother of one child with Down’s Syndrome and pregnant with her second child (both by her Dad) and invited to enrol in a new school with the hope that she can turn her life around and set it in a new direction. She is physically and emotionally abused by her Mum but the moving and haunting realism brought to the film by Sibide has got critics buzzing about her for the Oscars. It is a story of the triumph of hope and female empowerment in the face of brutality and despair.

Sidibe’s own real life however you’ll be pleased to learn does not mirror that of her on screen character. Speaking to the New York Magazine, she says: “They try to paint the picture that I was this downtrodden, ugly girl who was unpopular in school and in life, and then I got this role and now I’m awesome. But the truth is that I’ve been awesome, and then I got this role.” In another interview Gabby goes on: “People always ask me, ‘You have so much confidence. Where did that come from?’ It came from me. One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl….It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.”

With her unshakable self belief and the positivity she exudes, Gabbys star is on the up and we can only wish her the very best for the future. She is an inspiration to Big Beautiful Women everywhere.

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Do…

Make an effort to dress well and be on time.
You only get one chance at a first impression so you might as well make it a good one. It is a fact that we all judge people by their looks. Try and dress to suit the occassion. Turning up like you just got out of bed will do nothing for your confidence. Worse still, it is disrespectful to your date as it shows you don’t value him enough to make an effort. Dress semi formally so you don’t come across as being too keen and desperate but neither do you come across as being a slob by being too casual. Make sure you are on time for the date. This shows you value both his and your time. There is no such thing as being fashionably late.

Pay attention to your date.
Listen to what he has to say and show interest in him. You can then see if you have similar values and whether you would like to have a relationship with him. By no means should you rush to conclusions on the basis of just one date or begin to wonder if he would make a good husband but you can begin to form an impression of who he is. Be aware though that just as you are on your best behaviour so is he. Most guys talk alot about themselves anyway so you shouldn’t find it too hard to find out where he sees himself in a few years time or what his career goals are. This is not a licence to cross examine him as good conversations should eventually lead there. Relax and enjoy your date, as if you are having fun, he probably is as well.

Observe how he treats you and others.
How is he with the waiter? Did he tip? Did he look at your eyes or was he more enamoured by your chest when he said hello? Was he patient with the restaurant staff even though the meal took a bit longer than it should? Is he flashing his cash about and trying a bit too hard to impress. Does it seem that he’s trying to buy your love? There is no doubt that money is important in having a decent relationship as it affords you the ability to have the finer things in life and is usually a result of drive and ambition. Love and kindness though are just as important and while you cannot tell on a first date if he is a mean person, note how he treats you and others. Hopefully you will meet a gentleman not a ruffian on your date.

Ensure you are safe.
This afterall is a first date so technically, even though you have chatted online and spoken on the phone, you are still meeting a stranger. Until you actually meet him, you are not 100% sure he is who he claims he is. Make sure you meet in a public place and let someone know where and when you will be out. Have a friend ring you about half an hour into your date to make sure all is well and have them phone you again when you are supposed to be back indoors. If you think something is not right, make your polite excuses and leave. Follow your intuition. Better to be safe than sorry.

Don’t…
Over indulge in alcohol.
Yes a bit of alcohol may help you relax but believe me, going overboard is nothing but trouble. Know your limits…and then drink much less. There are few things worse than gaining false confidence off alcohol and then behaving like a prat. Trying to impress by knocking back shot after shot will do you no good in the long term. In the short term, you could end up sick by a gutter. It won’t be a surprise that most respectable men will not find a drunk attractive you won’t get that call for a second date. You could also leave yourself vulnerable and at the mercy of a stranger and unable to drive back home.

Talk about Sex, Money, Religion or Politics.
This should be self explanatory. These are topics that are more than likely to lead to arguments. You will have enough time to talk about why you think Boris Johnsons blonde mop top is the height of cool but that is a topic for another time when you’ve gotten to know your date that bit better. Neither should you steer the conversation towards sex, (he thinks of it on average every 5 seconds remember?)He will view you as game if you go down that route. Talk too much about money and you come across as shallow or worse – a gold digger and religion is a definate no no. Having similar belief values is fine but trying to explain that Methuselah lived to be over 900 years…on a first date? Sista Puh-lease!

Neither should you talk about your Exes!
As you begin to become an item, you will have lots of things to talk about including your exes. Bring up this conversation on a first date though and it might be interpreted that you are not yet over him which is why you have him on the brain. Alternatively, it could make your new date seem insecure as he might wonder how he measures up to your ex. The reason you are on a date is that things didn’t work out between you and your ex so don’t ruin things by bringing him into your conversations. Start afresh, get to know your new man and his interests. Learn from the past but look towards the future with optimism.

Be someone you’re not.
While we all are on our best behaviour around those we find an attraction to, try not to be something you are not. Remember that if he falls for who he thinks you are, rather than who you actually are, when you revert back to the real you, then there is bound to be a problem with the relationship. A relationship based on lies cannot stand the test of time so it’s better he falls for the real you. Rather he knows that you are a rabid carnivore that howls like a wolf in the middle of the night if deprived of meat for any period of time than he thinks you are both vegetarian. Imagine what’ll happen when he plans the next date at his favourite veggie restaurant!

Most importantly though is to make him want more of you so don’t overstay your welcome. Leave him wanting more of you. Have interesting topics to avoid any awkward silence. Laugh at his jokes and pay him sincere compliments. Compliments you really mean. Whatever you do stay safe and have fun.

This article was first published on CurvyDate.co.uk, a UK dating BBW site and a place to mingle with plus size singles. You are allowed to publish this article in its entirety provided that author’s name, bio and website links must remain intact and are included with every reproduction.

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Consider dark colours to create an illusion of height

In every womans wardrobe there should be a pair of jeans. They are easy to wash and maintain and are very versatile and so can be worn when on a cold weekend day while slouching around the home or for a pop to your local restaurant for quick bite with your partner. For the big beautiful woman, it might be a bit of a struggle to find jeans that flatter but with these hints in mind, you’ll be well on your way to getting jeans that make your tummy a washboard, your legs seem never ending and your bum pert and just the right size!

Good packages come in small sizes.
If you are short, then go for straight cut jeans as they are easier to hem without distorting the shape. The only reason to avoid boot cut jeans is because the shape gets distorted when hemmed otherwise there is no reason to avoid them. When buying jeans, make sure it is in a dark colour as this creates the illusion of length. Go for the length that will cover your heels to create an even greater lengthening effect. Try to avoid tapered trousers if you want to look taller.

Nip and Tuck
If you have a bit of a tummy bulge avoid low rise jeans as they do you no favours whatsoever. On the other hand, high waisted jeans can make you look short and frumpy. Instead, go for a midrise pair of jeans preferably with stretch in it as these will balance your proportions. Ensure the jean sits across your midriff as it this will also add a bit of support to the tummy as well getting rid in an instant the dreaded ‘tummy spill’. Complete the look and accesorize with a nice belt and you are good to go.

Disguise the thighs.
Wearing boot cut jeans balances the figure and removes attention from the thighs by creating a symmetric fit between hips and the flares. Stretch jeans as long as they are not too baggy and not too tight and fit smoothly are the perfect choice. Too tight and it makes you look larger than you really are. Too loose on the other hand flattens the bottom. Avoid the distressed look. This only focuses attention on the thighs, the exact spot you’re trying to avoid.

Junk in the trunk.
If you have a flat bottom, go for jeans with smaller back pockets as this makes that ‘booty’ seem larger. Back pockets sitted higher up the bum create an illusion of a curvy derriere as do flap pockets which add texture and thickness creating the wow factor. Skip flat pockets. Slit pockets show off the natural curve of the behind, On the other hand, to turn attention away from a big butt, avoid embellishments on the back pockets as these grab all the attention.

Getting the right jeans need not be a hassle if you can follow these tips. Be prepared to try on lots of jeans until you find one that you feel comfortable in. Know your body type and like everything else in life, accentuate the positives. When you do eventually find one that fits, it would have been worth the hassle.

This article was first published on CurvyDate.co.uk, a UK dating BBW site and a place to mingle with plus size singles.

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1. Gabourey Sidibe – Inspiration to Big Beautiful Women
2. Ode to the Big Beautiful Woman*
3. Tips on First Date Do’s and Don’ts

Photography: Solve Sundsbo
Styling: Nicola Formichetti
Models: Candice Huffine, Marquita Pring, Michelle Olson, Tara Lynn, Kasia P.
The full feature appears in V magazine, on sale from January 14.

Related posts:

1. Ode to the Big Beautiful Woman*
2. Gabourey Sidibe – Inspiration to Big Beautiful Women

1.) Seize the moment
You never know where you might come into contact with someone you fancy. It could be on an online dating site or on your way to work or even in the supermarket. Wherever it may be, try to make the first move rather than waiting for guys to come to you. This puts you in control of the whole dating experience. Better you make that move and find out for sure if it is a relationship worth pursuing or just a dream. Either way, you find out for sure and not wonder what might have been. Carpe Diem – Seize the moment, seize the day.

2.) Increase your social circle of friends
With most people now on major social networking sites, it isn’t a bad idea to have a presence online as well. You do not need to have all your details online for every man and his dog to see so make sure you adjust the privacy settings and post only information you are sure won’t embarrass you down the line. You can also join dating sites and as a plus size single, there are dating BBW sites that cater specifically for you and men that admire you. Try and learn from the friends and dates you make online as it will help you become a better person and more adept when you do eventually meet someone you click with.

3.) Date people you wouldn’t normally date.
If you have a “type” of guy you love dating for instance the “bad boy type or Mummy’s Boy” and things aren’t working then maybe it’s high time you changed your type. If you continue to choose these ‘types’ is it a wonder you get the same results? Be willing to change your perceptions of others so as to embrace serious relationships. No one is suggesting you go for someone you find unattractive or someone you have nothing in common with but it might be time to prioritize what’s really important to you. Would you rather date the exciting bad boy with all the drama who won’t commit or the guy who is less exciting but with whom you can have a meaningful relationship with.

4.) Know your worth
Everyone is unique and those little quirks are what make us who we are. Rather than focussing on the negatives in your life, acknowledge them and try to change them for the better but don’t dwell on them. Instead, find the many positives in your life and why someone would be lucky to have you. Positivity leads to confidence and identity and the realisation that you are responsible for your destiny. So make the most of life. Don’t waste time on dates you KNOW are going nowhere. Sit down in a quiet room and listen to that inner voice and remember, a journey of a thousand miles always begins with a little step. Value yourself and you are less likely to accept anyone treating you shabbily ensuring you attract the right kind of person.

5.) Be patient
Try not to set imaginary deadlines as to when you must be in a relationship. By all means prioritize dating. Like everything else in life that is important you have to set time aside to meeting the right person and making things work after that. If however you haven’t met your Mr. Right don’t put yourself under any more pressure than is necessary otherwise you’ll end up in a relationship for the wrong reasons. You also need to be patient when you do meet potential Mr. Right. It might take some time before either of you feels ready to meet. By having patience and giving each other space, it allows both parties to step back assess each other critically.

Hopefully, bearing these tips in mind will help in setting you on the right path to establishing a happy and fruitful relationship and becoming the best person you can be for now and the future.

This article was first published on CurvyDate.co.uk, a UK dating BBW site and a place to mingle with plus size singles.

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I’ve always liked to think that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the beautiful people.com site apart from being socially unacceptable to the vast majority of people, except a few that obviously register on the site, appears to suffer from the fact that a few users (already members) keep out new comers (either wittingly or not) simply to increase their own chances getting a date and reinforce (to members at least) that they remain beautiful. They thus cannot claim to reflect the fact they are in the top percentile of beautiful people as they like to claim as they are preventing those they perceive to be more beautiful from joining. It thus defeats the whole objective of the site.

In another release which can be found by doing a search on the web, they claim that the site has turned down 1.8 million people in October 2009 but a quick search on Alexa, the web traffic company while not totally scientific shows that it is unlikely that that is the case. It seems more likely that it is some piece of PR to increase buzz about the site. It is rather surprising though that for a site noted for its devotion to beauty, over 5000 of its members would have posted pictures of themselves looking overweight. More surprising is that there doesn’t seem anyone expelled from the site willing to corroborate the story. Very good PR you might say but while the company may be good at generating a buzz, it is a shame that they cannot be bothered to spell check and proof read their website. Right at the bottom of the page they write “By registering a profile on BeautifulPeople you confirm that you have read and argree (sic) to the Terms of use. Shallow they may be. Unable to spell? Definitely. But at least they ARE beautiful!

This article was first published on CurvyDate.co.uk, a UK dating BBW site and a place to mingle with plus size singles.

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Know what you want.
One of the most important things is to exactly who you are and what you want from your relationship. And remember, while it might be good to fantasize about a Hollywood style relationship, the truth is in reality, these relationships rarely happen. This is not to say you should accept any loser of a partner. Far from it. Set your standards and stick to them. Do remember though, that the perfect person doesn’t exist. Never go into a relationship thinking you can change the person. Rather, acknowledge what it is you don’t like about the person and think if you can cope with it for the rest of your life. If you can, then it won’t be a problem otherwise you may have to move on to someone else.

Look in the right places.
After knowing what type of partner you want, the next step is where you can find them. Chubby chasers with a fondness for big beautiful women could do worse than register on niche sites catering to dating BBW’s. Is religion the most important thing to you? Well start hauling yourself to meetings to meet other like minded singles. There is no point frequenting clubs and bars if all you want is a Christian mate to settle down and eventually start a family with. You may find him there but it is more than likely that they are the exception rather than the rule. You need to begin to frequent where you stand a higher chance of meeting and eventually getting to know the kind of person you want frequents.

Accept yourself.
Just like you can’t expect someone to change as that is essentially part of what makes them who they are, so must you also learn to accept yourself. This might include trying to learn new thought processes in order to improve as a person. The important thing here is that you acknowledge that you could become a better person and make changes of your own free will and not because someone has told you to. Having a positive mindset on even our worst days can help in turning a gloomy mood into something maybe not cheerfully happy, but at least not so gloomy. One very important thought process involves accentuating the positives in our lives. This leaves no space for self doubt which in turn reduces low self worth. Project positivity and you’ll be amazed how much of it you get back.

Retain an air of mystery
Finally, DO try to retain an air of mystery when you do get your partner. This doesn’t mean playing games or not returning phone calls. No. far from it. However, you do not want to spell out all your wishes and needs on the first few dates. Remember, you want to get to know the real person you think you might fall in love and spend the rest of your life with. Tell them you like flowers or chocolates too soon in your relationship and by God, you will get flowers and chocolates – until the novelty wears off and they return to being their true selves. Rather, let them know enough, but just enough to keep them intrigued so that there is anticipation for the next date.

This article was first published on CurvyDate.co.uk, a UK dating BBW site and a place to mingle with plus size singles.

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Confidence is sexy
Statistics repeatedly show that most women are unhappy with their bodies. Regardless of size, a woman who is confident within herself will more often than not have a happier disposition to the world around her. This in turn makes her fun to be around and so is more attractive to the opposite sex. Men also hang around for longer. We all know you can’t be confident 24/7 and there are some days when one just cannot be bothered. The trick here is to act confident. Rather than concentrate on the things bogging you down, accentuate the postives. List what is going on well in your life. Remember the mantra, I think, therefore I am.

Register on niche sites.
There are because a big number of men searching for curvaceous woman. These guys are going to these dating niche sites to find them therefore BBW dating sites are not to be ignored. Targeting this niche category provides a higher success rate. While it would be ideal in a perfect world that once a man gets to know you, he wouldn’t matter what you look like as it is the personality that counts, remember – we don’t live in an ideal world and men by their very nature are visual creatures. By registering on dating BBW sites, you know that the men that make contact with you are attracted to you and one of the reasons is to do with your size! All you need now is to connect with him on a personal level!

Learn to accept compliments.
Most of us aren’t comfortable accepting compliments. This is also rooted in our insecurities and because we believe we are not worthy of the compliment. The truth though is that most of us are more hard on ourselves than need be. In other words, we are our own harshest critcs. There’s nothing wrong in self critisism as it can be the spur to drive us on to greater things but it needs to be balanced with the ability to learn to accept compliments and to praise ourselves as often as we can. When next you are paid a compliment, pause, thank the person paying you the compliment and smile. Resist the urge to think there is an ulterior motive. Different people see things differently and just because you don’t agree with a compliment doesn’t mean there is no merit to it.

Write an honest and heartfelt essay.
When you register on a dating site, there usually is a column for you to write in your own words about yourself. No use writing here that “I don’t know what to say here” or “ask me anything you want”. This is your chance to shine and show your potential date that there is more to you than just looks. Be honest about yourself, upload a recent photograph and try to mix in a little bit of humour. Show your potential interests what a great catch you are and how much fun you could both have together. It is often true that a persons personality often shines through in the way they write about themselves. We are all unique in our own little ways so let this come through when you write your personal ad. A simple rule is to make your potential date find your profile interesting enough to make contact. Don’t however lie or brag!

This is by no means an exhaustive list but by following these tips and adding a little common sense, you can go along way in finding that great date that you seek.
This article was first published on CurvyDate.co.uk, a UK dating BBW site and a place to mingle with plus size singles.

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Being asked for money.
This is undoubtedly the Number 1 sign that you are about to be scammed. But don’t think that the scammer will just ask for the money per se. They are quite creative and will usually have a well rehearsed story to try to con you out of your money. They can ask you to help with the cost of a plane ticket so they can visit you, or they might claim they are in an emergency and need you to help out with a quick loan until they get out of the ‘fix’ and pay you back the loan. Some of them actually build up a relationship with their victims over several months in order to gain their trust. However method they try, DON’T send any money. If you do, you will never get your money back.

Being secretive and/or vague.
When a person seems overly interested in knowing all about you but is unwilling to share a lot about themselves then something is not quite right. While this is not always the case, online dating like everything else in life should be about giving and receiving. Too much of one or the other should make you sit up and take notice. It could be that they have a few aliases on the go and cannot remember the details they’ve given to one person from another. It could also be that they are members of a syndicate and cannot remember what lies the other members have spun. If the style, contents or statements vary or things don’t seem they way they should, walk away. If something doesn’t feel right, then it isn’t.

Fake photographs.
Most scammers use photographs copied from other websites. They use attractive photographs of models and you can’t believe your luck in the hope of grabbing your attention. If the photograph looks like it has been taken in professional settings and then photoshopped or airbrushed, then ask for more photographs in different settings. You can even ask them to take a photograph with an item of your choosing like a red ball or to stand in a particular way. Make sure you dictate the rules though and don’t be swayed if they try to lead you down along another path. They might have other photographs in a certain pose they intend to send. Scammers will actually steal someone else’s photo and post it and thus will be unable to provide the photos you request in a certain pose. This is not advice to make you suspicious of everything, just be suspicious enough to ask questions in the beginning before you lose your heart.

Be wise.
Scammers almost always are the ones to initiate contact. This in itself is not a bad thing but if you have been approached by someone you met through an internet dating site and who claims to need your help transferring money out of their country, delete the email, throw away the letter or say no. You should remember that money laundering could be a crime, and if you agree to help out the scammer you could be getting yourself in trouble. Trust your instincts and err on the side of caution. If something seems just not right, politely decline and block the member. don’t give out personally identifiable information until you feel comfortable enough to trust the person and always meet in a public place. If your date is as good as you think they are, they’ll understand and will be willing to get to know you over time and allow you in their world as well.

This article was first published on curvydate.co.uk. A secure UK dating BBW site and a place to develop friendship, romance, or marriage with like-minded lovers of big beautiful women and plus size singles.

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