Photo by skampy

It’s the end of another challenge, and it feels like the end of something else: the beginning. CustomerLove needs to mature to the next level in order to continue helping entrepreneurs grow sustainable businesses.

I don’t know exactly what that means – for you or for me – just that it’s time to stop for a while and think about where to go next. One suggestion has been to have challenges once or twice a year, so let’s plan on getting back together for another challenge in May. (Let’s take a break from tweetchats too, though we can start them up again whenever you like – how about after the holidays?)

In the meantime, some exciting plans are in the works for CustomerLovers, but it’s all very hush-hush at the moment. I’ll let you know more about that very soon.

I am so grateful to all the wonderful people who have stepped in to help:

Co-hosts

• Colin Beveridge
• Sandi Amorim
• Jonathan Wondrusch
• Noëlle Anthony
• David Crandall

Editors

• Carol Logan Newbill
• Tisha Berg
• Holly Jackson

Roving reporters

• Birdy Diamond
• Roger the Floor Elf

Designer

• Rhiannon Llewellyn (the artist formerly known as Rachael Acklin)

Inspiration

• Naomi Dunford

All the fabulous guest posters…

…and of course, YOU, the challengers.

Without all of you, there would be no CustomerLove. Thank you!

I’m going off to play with new ideas, but I’ll still be here and here and on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+. Stop in for a cup of coffee and a slice of pie!

Love you,

… or The Parable of the Five Strawberry Gardens

Image by nanny snowflake via Flickr (Creative Commons license)

Fed up with sub-standard store strawberries, these five people all decided to grow their own. They each went to the gardening store to buy seedlings, but that’s where their stories diverge.

The seedlings Alice bought on Monday didn’t produce strawberries by Saturday. So she tossed them out and bought herself another batch of bland berries at the store. From that day on, anytime she heard anyone ever mention the idea of growing their own strawberries, she would set them straight. She’d tell them they couldn’t do it. It takes too long and a waste of time when you can buy perfectly adequate strawberries at the store. Besides, if you try to grow your own, you might end up with none. Why risk it?

Cassidy never actually bought a seedling that day in the garden store. Not one to do anything halfway, she started by asking lots and lots… and lots of questions. She talked to the gardeners and to Google. She learned all about strawberry cultivation, hybridization and the proper ph levels for soil. She joined 15 forums and bought eleven different ebooks that were guaranteed to teach her everything she needed to know.

But then she started to second guess her ability to grow strawberries at all. After all she’d learned, she thought There’s still so much to know. There are too many ways it can go wrong. She worried that she wasn’t as smart or soil savvy or experienced as all of the amazing experts she’d been learning from. She decided the store strawberries aren’t all that bad… and besides, she’s already used to them.

Ben protected, pruned and pampered his plants. Then one day, they bloomed the most amazing display of little white flowers! Immediately Ben threw a huge, strawberry-themed party. He served strawberry shortcake and strawberry pie with strawberry daquiris. But, with all the party planning, he forgot to water his beautiful, blooming buds. And they died… before ever producing a single strawberry.

Daphne had this thing figured out. She went to the garden store and invested in a dozen fully grown strawberry plants in full bloom. Within a week, she harvested at least a pound of delicious fruit. She made pie and preserves. It was great… until they were gone. Once they were gone, Daphne didn’t know what to do with her strawberry plants. She never got them to bud again. By the next season, they were dead.

So, she spent $36 on a dozen strawberry plants that yielded $6 worth of fruit before they died. She decided that wasn’t such a good investment and went back to buying the store’s sickly strawberries.

Evie grew fat, juicy strawberries. She researched how to care for her plants and followed the advice that made sense (skipping the weird and woo woo). She also avoided any high tech horticulture lectures.

Evie recognized that the blooms didn’t mean she succeeded. They just meant she was on the right path. Blooms aren’t strawberries, they’re potential strawberries. She continued to nurture them until she had a whole harvest of gigantic, perfectly sweet strawberries. Every year she grew pounds and pounds of the best strawberries money couldn’t buy. Life was sweet.

—-
Okay, so that’s the parable. Now I’m going to be crystal clear. Not insultingly clear, but hopefully, insightfully clear.

The garden is your business… which gardener are you?

The seedlings are your marketing efforts… how are you cultivating?

The blooms are your potential customers (newsletter signups, blog commentors, etc)… how are you nurturing them?

The strawberries are your actual clients (the ones that pay you with cashy money)… how is your garden growing?

So what you do when things don’t work out?

Mope, drag your feet, throw in the towel, hang your head and cry?

In the words of the infamous Dr. Phil, “How’s that workin’ for ya?”

Not so much, right? So how about trying something new?

It’s easy to get discouraged. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve wanted to quit in my 10 years in business!

But I didn’t and you don’t have to either. You just need to regroup and I’ve got just the tool.

The Power of the Debrief

Before we get into it, let me tell you that anything. . .and I mean ANYTHING. . .can be debriefed.

Every single thing that happens in your business (and life for that matter!) can be put through this debrief process so that you learn from your your mistakes.

Follow these steps consistently and you can’t help but grow and develop your business muscles.

1.  Think of something you did in your business recently that fell flat or maybe even bombed.

Tip: I can hear your resistance from here. Just pick one.

2.  List any and all accomplishments that come to mind, small and large.

Tip: Lizard brain on loudspeaker? Thank it for sharing and move on.

3.  What worked about the event you’re debriefing? Be as specific as you can.

Tip: Even though it didn’t work overall doesn’t mean there weren’t parts of it that worked. List those.

4.  What didn’t work? (keep being specific)

Tip: Be honest with yourself here. No one’s watching, this is for your benefit. Tell the truth.

5.  What was missing that you didn’t produce the results you wanted?

Tip: It’s usually not the first thing that comes to mind. Dig deep!

6.  What opportunities do you now see? These could be new ones or ones that were already there.

Tip: Look at where you were afraid to take action. Yeah, that thing.

7.  What’s your next action?

Tip: Just take that one action. It’s easy to get overwhelmed. Keep it simple.

That’s it, not rocket science but that’s the beauty of it – using this process will reliably move you forward every time.

Cuz here’s the thing. . .

You can only stay stuck if you take no action.

Learning from everything that happens in your life and business is a game changer and since you were thinking of quitting anyway, what have you got to lose?

 Today at tables across the United States, it’s Thanksgiving Day – a comingling of turkey, family and football games. And whether you’re stuffed with stuffing or enjoying a post-meal tryptophan-induced snoozefest, it pays to take a moment out of the celebration to reflect on what you’re thankful for when it comes to appreciating your customers.

Be Thankful for Your Clients

Both the ones who know exactly what they want, and the ones that need your guidance. Be thankful for the ones who pay – on time, and what you’re truly worth, and don’t look at your price as something to haggle over. You should even be thankful for the ones who ultimately end up not working with you. For one reason or another, your product or service won’t be a good fit for everyone – and that’s okay. In fact, that’s exactly the way it should be. If you tried to make everyone happy, you’d leave little room for happiness for yourself!

Be Thankful for Your Family

Take time to enjoy the balance of work, life and play. Tell your spouse, children, parents or anyone else you’re close to, that you appreciate and love them – even when you’re stuck on a tight deadline crunch and you may not always say it. Be thankful that they’re not constantly whispering in your ear for you to “get a real job” as is so often the case for those of us making a full time living on the web. And if they are – be thankful you can ignore them and continue doing the work you love!

Be Thankful for the Technology

A lot of what’s possible today is possible because someone dared to think outside the box, to ask “what if?” The web went from a bland, boring heap of tables and data to a colorful, creative soul that has given birth to so many great ideas. When we look at how far we’ve come online, it’s good to remember that it will just keep getting better. This technology is what makes it possible for you to do what you love, for the people who love what you do.

Be Thankful for the Opportunity

You’re one of the people who has embraced the Customer Love philosophy, and all the rewards that come with it. You saw an opportunity and pounced on it – and for that kind of courage and moxie, you should be proud of yourself! The web is full of opportunity to inspire and be inspired, to motivate and be motivated, and to generally be an enterprising entrepreneur. What are you doing in your business that stretches the status quo and creates new opportunities for yourself and for others?

Be Thankful Beyond Thanksgiving

Gratitude is not something that can be boiled down to a one-day feast and a few leftovers. It’s a perpetual feeling that soaks itself into everything you do. Whether you’re in the States or not, now is a great time to reflect on the gifts, talents and opportunities you’ve been given and promise yourself to make the most of them.

This is the third Customer Love challenge that I’ve participated in… though I’m hesitant to say that I’ve actually participated since, for the most part, I’ve been a bit of a wall flower.

You see, I’m something of an introvert; I love connecting with people, and in the right situation I’m a veritable bubbly butterfly of social engagement. But in large groups, particularly groups of people I don’t know very well, I get shy.

When I go to parties, I’m the girl sitting quietly in the corner, hoping someone will come over and start a conversation. I definitely don’t do the ‘mingling’ thing. I’d much rather find that one person I can sit and have an engaging conversation with – and I’m likely to stick with that conversation for the entire party.

You’d think it would be different online.

I certainly couldn’t find an easier way to spread the love; social media gives us constant, direct, and personal access to the people we’re selling our products and services to. It’s sort of like a great big party where everyone is welcome, and since I don’t have to interact with people face-to-face, there should be less pressure, less anxiety… right?

Not for me. Online, I’m still sitting in my corner, waiting for someone else to start a conversation. (Unfortunately, it’s a lot harder for people to see me sitting in the corner… since, you know, it’s all virtual.)

So how do you get out of the corner and start to mingle?

I’d tried various ‘programs’ for engaging with social media. I gathered a treasure chest of excellent strategies and advice, and geared myself up to put them to use. Unfortunately, I inevitably found myself staring forlornly at my screen, trying desperately to come up with something witty to say.

It wasn’t that the strategies and advice weren’t good. They just didn’t get at the root of my social media anxiety. For me, the trick was to first figure out what was holding me back.

Turns out I had two distinct issues:

1. I’m not comfortable ‘inviting’ myself into an existing conversation – offline etiquette taught me it’s rude to interrupt, and this has stuck with me online.
2. Posting random updates for everyone to read feels like shouting into the aether; I’m not sure anyone is listening, and it feels like ‘everyone’ is really ‘no one’. (Also, if they are listening, I’m pretty sure what I just said is either stupid, annoying, or both.)

Obviously, a new strategy was needed.

I realized that what I wanted was a way of interacting with people that would inspire a positive response from them, and wouldn’t make me feel like I was ‘pushing’ myself on them. (I’m pretty certain ‘rudeness’ is one of the seven deadly sins. If not, it should be.)

One of the best tips I’d acquired for social media immediately came to mind: find something to share. I have very little faith in my ability to devise witty commentary on my daily life (oh to be David Sedaris!), but I’m always finding interesting articles, quotes, and the like.

I loved this tip, but it was lacking something, a follow-up step. I realized that sharing something, no matter how cool it might be, still left me feeling alone in a crowded room. (I really dislike posting to everybody, since everybody is really nobody.)

But what if I could apply my ‘offline party strategy’ to the online world? Instead of broadcasting randomly, I could find my one person to engage with! It wouldn’t have to be an entire night’s worth of conversation… but that’s a relief really, since I do have other things to do.

Developing a strategy relieved my anxiety… and got me out of the corner!

Now, instead of staring forlornly at the screen (wishing I were half as witty as David Sedaris), I have a goal;

1. Find one thing to share
2. Think of one person to share that thing with, someone who would truly benefit from the sharing; if I find a post with information that would be useful to a client, I could forward it to them. I could share an uplifting quote with a friend on Twitter, letting them know it made me think of them. Or I could post on a friend’s Facebook, thanking them for just being their awesome self!

Connecting with customers in this way feels much more natural and authentic to my introverted ways. It may take me a bit more time to connect with a large number of people, but I’m confident that the connections and relationships that develop will be much deeper and more satisfying.

If you’re a fellow introvert, I invite you to join me in my new strategy.

Of course, if it doesn’t work for you, feel free to develop one of your own! Just remember these questions:

What’s holding you back from connecting online? What would you like your experience to be? How can you develop a strategy that gives you what you want?