Cut Out The Eyes

One Year Later......Everything Has Changed

2010-12-24T11:40:00.001+01:00

Hello, image of my former self. Since you're the only one paying attention here, might as well address you directly. You may know that we started this one year ago, when snowfall bestowed upon us an epiphany of major proportions. Since then it hasn't been a good year, in fact, you could say this has officially been the worst year I ever lived down. There is only one person that can come close to knowing the things that went through my mind. But rather than dwell on that, I've decided to simply let history repeat itself and pictures do the talking, as once again, this December is covered in snow on the very same day. And still: One year later......everything has changed:

It started off small, but I value every snowflake given to me.

By the time of our anniversary though, it was clear that the snow was here to stay:

Remember this one?

It was coincidence that once again led me outside, as I ventured towards the hospital

Bus ride:

My hands had frostbite by this time, so out of focus shots.

Took the exact same route home, so it felt pointless to recreate more of the same, but I did get to snag a picture of the lake before I took off. Yes, that's a lake.

Went home and treated myself to a nice breakfast.

The next couple of days, I spent sitting inside giggling at all the people trying to rush their life past the forces of nature, as the snow became more intense. Nature finds a way to slow us all down; we should all embrace it, instead of fighting everything we face.

This weather spawned a microwave. Yes, most shots are weird, but I liked them regardless.

Even more intense weather. In a way, snow has become the catalyst for my existence. I'll be sad to see it go

And as of today, Christmas Eve, the snow has dominated our landscape to assert its place in the world. All is chaos outside as people scramble to do society's bidding. It's been 20 years since I've seen this much snow. I'm not going to bore you any longer, so here's one last shot. One last shot.

Goodbye.

Comic: Leap Of Faith

2010-12-11T11:25:00.000+01:00

It's time for morbidity and humor: In an attempt to act like Wednesday's funeral wasn't real, I spent all my time and attention to complete my very first web comic ever Tuesday. The final drawing is a bit more crude than the original sketches, but I had to redraw the entirety, as my scanner is dead also. Drawing things with a mouse isn't easy, so the result is still good for a first ever thing. It was inspired by my recent attempt to replay Super Mario Bros in celebration of his 25th anniversary. Enjoy Mario's Leap Of Faith:

*click to enlarge*

If life had a final purpose, it would have been reached by now.

2010-12-04T22:19:00.000+01:00

Sorry, there is no one picture that can do this justice.

You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Sometimes, this overused line affects people more than it should; a lot more. Tragedy always strikes unexpectedly, as we don’t anticipate it striking ever. And it is in such events we are forced to part with loved ones, just as we had to say goodbye to Dieter Bercx. He was a loved friend, brother and son; he was so much to so many people and yet was also secluded and alone. It’s strange how easily we collectively let those things happen and this case is neither solitary, nor will we prevent it from happening again. Look, there’s no way to wrap this up correctly and I can’t seem to manage my emotions, so I can’t keep writing. Maybe I will soon, but now let’s get on to business. Because that’s what people do, right? They suppress deeply scarring shit and let the cogs roll as if the machine never stopped in the first place. ..

And so, here is the promised secret project I was working on with some friends: Swords & Wizardry.

We came together once again, after years of absence, to immerse ourselves into the wonderful world of Roleplaying. Spearheaded by Dieter, the dungeon master in this case, we set off to make roleplaying more spiritual than calculated. So, with little need for dice and such, our adventures would rely more on the strengths of our intellects. That was a wonderful new take on an idea based on our imagination in the first place.

I was going to announce it once the project received more momentum, but as it was requested from his brother (the gentleman rogue in this case), I’m going to try and get the footage up as soon as possible. Therefore, I’m going to compile all the information that we had already and get the backgrounds up and whatnot, so you can get a better feeling of what was going on.

I was also in the midst of picking up art again, to illustrate our adventures, but I had only created one portrait and now see little need to ever roleplay again, period. Still, I’ll release that picture as well; anything we have basically.

Even trying to keep this brief, I spewed out 400 badly written words; I suck. So, without further ado:

Richmond background

What’s that? You want to know more about me? Really, there is nothing much to tell.
I am Richmond, chief warlock of the brothers of darkness, lord of the bones, master of the thirteen hells, emperor of the black, lord of the dance, mistress of magma …
Oh, and the mayor of a little village up the coast. Very scenic in springtime. You should visit sometime.

I also had a familiar. Hctib Elttil was bonded to me until the traitorous imp managed to flee.

My story began when I started looking for some magical artifacts. I was bored and felt like doing something. Perhaps you’ve heard of them? The Sword of 77% Probability? The Sword of Maybe, Maybe Not? The Sword of Mostly Falsehoods? The Stick of Lies?

No? Well, can’t hurt asking.

Anyway, I asked a farmer’s two children for directions. I then killed both of them. I mean, it is hard to kill just one! That would be unfair. Spread love in equal measure and all that. I also wanted to lose some baby weight. Mostly from the baby I ate. Good times.

Why did I kill them? Because they didn’t know the directions.

After that I displayed their heads on stakes in a suitably comical manner. As for their expression, I went with mild surprise. Seemed proper given the situation.

Didn’t sit well with their father though. Gave me a good nobbin on the noggin.

And that was the first time I died. By the way, the meaning of life is ‘bucket’.

I also spent some time staying at a recently widowed woman’s house. I comforted her best as I could. ‘Your husband is in a better place’ I said to her. The crazy old woman went on rambling about someone having killed him and he two sons. I still don’t know what she was going on about. The Spork of Condescension didn’t provide any answers either.

This other time I met some overzealous warrior. I tried to punch his liver out via his ass. Didn’t work, even though I once drank the soul of a monk and tried to imbue it in a small animal which I intended to learn how to speak. They taste like chocolate. And that was the third time I died. Or maybe the fourth, I always mix them up. Like the time I got eaten by a Purple Worm. I did return, in one form or another.

What else? During beautiful moment I like to compose and break into musical singing. Wholesale mass slaughter, locate and butcher your daughter. Stuff like that. I should write this down. This is good stuff. Got any chickens with you? Works well with my Fork of Truth, my bear arms and my kidney hat. Made from real kidney, you know. So you can’t have it.

People say I don’t behave myself. They tell me I’m a monstrous abomination. I resent those comments. Warlocks just have a bad reputation. I mean, I try limiting my maiming to undesirables these days. Most of the time, at least. Do I get points for effort? Playing good has its advantages though. No pitchfork and torch lynching for one. Being loved instead of feared does have its appeal. Yes, you might even say I’ve turned over a new leaf.

Are you still listening by the way? You seem kind of quiet, just lying there with your tongue lolling out. You also look a bit pale. And I’m in the mood for conversation.

Oh well, I wonder when dinner is. I did help with the flaming rat-problem.

Background Story – Link “Shorty” Goodale the Fifth

Link Shorty Goodale V Sketch

Born in the shire community of Palervale, Link Goodale is a descendant from a long line of brewery folk. The bustling, small community was known throughout the Kingdoms for their Pale Ale and Link was brought up in all aspects of its trade. From running the ins and outs of tavern, to gathering ingredients and creating the brew to export it; it was all shown to him by his father and older brother.

Staying relatively small, even for Halfling standards, Link was dubbed the nickname “Shorty” throughout his childhood years. It was a name that would stick with him for all time, as his real name took a back seat more and more. He grew to be a mere 2 ft 11 inch. It was said, tongue-in-cheek, that the shire was haunted, as villagers would sometimes spot giant barrels of booze float by without a hint of an owner. This was the lad carrying the goods arched over his back. His father therefore dedicated a line of “Short beers” upon Link’s coming of age. It was an inside joke Link did not mind, but rather appreciated for its gesture.

As a man, Link set off into the world of export for his company, so he could meet the outside world and learn its secrets, in benefit of the brewery. Not resisting the power of the tavern call, he would sometimes help out at the local inn he was staying or provide them service if he spotted a tavern serving their brew. This made him known throughout the towns and aided the reputation of the company grow. He would always order the Short Ale, wherever it was available, advancing his nickname’s recognition. But it would also make him a robust drinker; much more resilient than his scrawny apparition would give away. It was something he could use to his advantage.

Hailing from tavern life, he was a more than avid gambler. He would use his knowledge and wit from the shire community to perform parlor tricks and whimsically cheat at betting games. This could also land him in a spot of trouble from time, but most inn keepers knew his intentions to be more whimsical than heinous. Link also tried to make sure his con wasn’t performed on characters that would not oblige.

In time, Goodale Inc. furthered its reputation to such extent; it would become a house of powerful reach within the brewery trade. It got his father the title of Baronet and later, even Baron. Link began wearing a large, black cloak flaunting the company logo on its backend, embroidered in gold thread. This made him an even more recognizable figure amongst taverns throughout the land, but also landed him in his fair share of trouble. Due to its darker appearance, he was sometimes mistaken for a fiend or dark character by townsfolk or guards and suffered his share of wrongful accusations because of it. He took it all in stride however, as he knew well the lower standards of living.

It is on a fall day that Link returned to Palervale to meet his destiny. Upon arrival in the town perimeter it was already noticeable something was largely amiss. Smoke bellowed from all sides of the shire, much more than needed, and the well-groomed lawns lay ransacked before his eyes. He rushed his horse and carriage over the small hills to see what was the matter. There he saw the once flourishing Palervale, set to ashes. Houses were burnt down, Halfling folk struck down and most of all, the brewery lay to waste. The local magistrate had become corrupt with greed during Link’s absence and had set his eyes on the prospering entrepreneurs of the shire community. But those refused to give in to the ridiculous demands of the avaricious aristocrat. He had personally come down with his men-at-arms to oppress the town of Palervale, but their bond was stronger than the greed of the tyrant. In an episode of blinding rage he had ordered to destroy the brewery and its contents. But the worst was still to come.

The villagers could not warn Link in time for what was about to unfold. Upon hearing the dreadful news of the magistrate, Link rushed to the brewery grounds. There, inside the rubble, lay his family, murdered… It was all his eyes could bare and he went mad with grief. His father and his brother together were dead before his eyes and he was dead behind them. He laid there and wept for what seems an eternity, unaware of any other possible danger. He had not seen the smoldering remains of the factory house, nor did he care for it. But before he knew it, a supporting beam gave way and the ceiling collapsed upon him, triggering a new fire due to the current released. Not even his agile frame would save him from the tragedy and he suffered severe wounds and burns. The lacerations and brandings were well to be noted across his face and body alike.

However, he pulled through and together with the help of the town; they buried his family underneath the brewery cellars, with coffins carved from the factory kegs. After that the remaining folk decided it be best to leave Palvervale for good, as it wasn’t safe their anymore. Their decision lead them to join the town of Miltonshire, down by the sea. There they could reset the brewery name in peace, together with their kin, and continue the legacy, lest it be forgotten. Link was of course asked to lead the crusade, but he could not. The once whimsical, quick witted fellow had become a bitter and torn individual. His scars and burns only heightened his dark appearance, but he himself had gone dark before it.

The shire of Palervale was further demolished and the bucolic homes filled with the remains of wooden walls, straw roofs and then they were aligned with dirt. This way, nature could once more flourish as had the town before it. And the Halflings; they would disappear from the territory as from its history. A small shrine was made for the ones lost in the attack, but it would only be noticeable to those who made them and Halflings who would pass it on in coded songs and chants of the land.

Link “Shorty” Goodale did what he knew to do. He set out into the land to search for the towns and taverns. But he was no longer a free spirit in conquest of reputation. He would keep the cloak, now torn, but it looked grim and the embroidery fragmented and faded; such as his concept of morality. No more would lawmen and noble figures meet him in good virtue. He even went on to relinquish his right to access his family title of Baron. No; authority was not to be trusted and mankind was driven by greed and not by justice. As he later found out, the evil magistrate acted upon name of the entire kingdom. Therefore, Link swore vengeance upon the kingdom itself. Stretching far and wide, he would not rest until a burning inferno would lay to waste the ones responsible, as they had lay to waste his life.

He resided in much unfriendly territory and learned to skulk around caves and caverns, most inhabited by dangerous Goblins and Orcs. In hiding, he learnt to understand the lingo of the talkative small goblins. After he had learned some keywords he could venture closer in, as his grim appearance and scrawny figure could fool many a goblinoid in dark spaces to meet his kin and not a Halfling. Unfortunately, this coin flipped both ways and he would also get mistaken by adventurers and lawmen alike as being a foul cave-dwelling cavern; especially if he would anger any of those in the goblinoid tongue. He has ran more than his fair share for his life.

Link picked up an aid on his travels. A young human boy, harassed by highway guardsmen, was about to be violated and humiliated when Link surprised the evil-doers. He crippled them, slashing their ankles, so he could grab the boy and run for the hills, before any could lay hand on either of them. After a period, it the tale began circulating of a goblin abducting a village lad from the highway to lure him into the mountains. This tale gave the 2 the breathing space necessary to set out into the world again.

The now teenaged lad thanks Link for his life and now serves him as his human assistant, whenever he can. His name, Coulter, is pronounced ‘Colder’ by Link, due to a momentarily confusion, spending too much time with Goblins, trying to speak his name in their dialect.

Character attributes/special abilities:

Apparition: his small and dark, cloaked figure may have a chance at having townspeople mistaken him for a creature or ghost, leading to trouble. It may also give adverse effects to talking to people and Link suffers a +1 penalty on any conversations outside his nature and NPC loyalty checks (above any others that may apply)

Gambler’s Fortune: using his cunning and knowledge of the trade, Link is an unstoppable force when it comes to bar games and betting games. He has a chance 1 in 4 chance of winning all games played and a 1 in 3 chance when served Goodale Inc beer in the place he resides. Starting level 8 this becomes 1 in 3 and 1 in 2 respectively.

Drinker’s Fortitude: The man can hold his liquor, such is true. His bluff increases the more people are persuaded of his drunken debauchery, when in reality he stands ‘tall’. His persuasive skills get a +2 bonus if people are fooled by his small appearance while drinking.

Fortune’s.. Fortune: Link is a merchant and knows merchants, especially those who serve in the brewery trade. His knowledge give him a heightened percentage at favorable effects when dealing with any person related to the brewery trade (such as inn keepers, brewers, alcohol merchants, etc)

Goblin Tongue: His cave-dwelling ways have earned Link the comprehension of the Goblin language. His chance of understanding small Goblinoids is relative to his “Hear Sounds” check, as is speaking the language. From level 5 this also applies to Goblinoid script (if deciphered).

Goblin Face: As with Apparition (look above) Link may be mistaken for a Goblin when in towns and such. He takes a +2 penalty on any suspicious checks for his person. +1 is added if he is speaking Goblinoid. +1 is added if near caves or other known Goblinoid dwelling and retirements

Seriously though: There were a million things left to discuss... But thank you for the compliment you once gave on my blog via your friend. I knew you of all people could understand where I was coming from. You know what I'm talking about.

May it bring you the peace you so deserve, my friend. That is the fine line.

2010-10-02T23:19:00.000+02:00

Holy bottomless stomach, Batman! I've been eating so much crap the last 2 days and I'm STILL hungry! Really, you wouldn't believe what I all ate; it's maddening. But on to business:

Recently, I got into an argument about HD re-releases now also getting done in games. Now, I'm not a huge fan of it in movies either, but trying to resell the same game twice took it a little too far for me. Apparently, I also extremely butthurt a wave of fanboys, because from my valid points on, the argument deteriorated in attacking my person and nothing else. So, it wasn't really an argument, as I was the only one trying to divert the assaulting monologues 5 to 6 people were blasting upon me. After repeating myself 5 to 6 times and disproving a lot more "arguments", I decided it was best to let the internet be the internet and create an article about my opinion. Since I had to make myself crystal flippidy clear on every word said in the argument, I had to create an article of equal clarity. Therefore, it became the shocking discourse you will see posted below. It was even so long, I couldn't bring myself to making any more points; so not all subjects were handled. If it means anything: I'm sorry for being so precise. I'll try and make monosyllabic grunts about people's sexual preferences in bad grammar next time, pinky swear.

Enjoy. Oh, and it's only the internet: cool the copulation down, ok buddy?

High Definition has already set in a while ago. Most people love the addition of watching things in advanced resolutions and that's all dandy for them. Movies have long since picked up on the matter and started releasing their work, or rereleasing it even, to be viewed in this circumstance. Again, it's an understandable move. Movies have a key feature in how their visuals come across and thus updating this illustration enhances the whole experience. But now games have also come into the trend of rereleasing their work with a shiny HD sticker. This is a somewhat lesser understandable move.

Recently, it was announced they were going to bring out Team Ico games once more; specifically Ico and Shadow Of The Colossus. This followed the HD release of God Of War. There are also rumors for a Sly Cooper update, Odin Sphere and Muramasa: The Demon Blade, amongst many others being whispered through at the local water cooler. In fact, Sony is already so adamant on the success of the venture, they've started using box art with the subtitle CIassiccs HD". So, it's safe to assume many other older games are on route to take a second bow. But why is that? What is so fundamentally flawed about the games that they need to be remade? Nothing is wrong with the games; they're just being made to look shinier and new again. But that's good, right? Bright new shiny game, what could be wrong with that?

It's coming, might as well get used to it...

The main aspect of a game is still the part where you can play or 'game' with the product, therefore having the term gameplay. If its key feature was to merely look at it, it would be an interactive movie, Kojima. So, the part where you pick up a controller (or not now) and go about the fictional area of the world is the part of the game you should focus on. A high definition release doesn't really touch that part. It spruces up your characters and background, maybe heightens the framerate, but it leaves the game aspect as it is and as it was. So actually, you'll be playing the same game or an old game if you haven't before; but it will be the same experience as years before, when it was thrown into the savage game market. The rerelease doesn't add anything to an already existing product; it's all cosmetics. So where is the point in playing something old that already is exists in the exact same state? There isn't really a point to it, but it's worse than simple redundancy I'm afraid. I could fathom people wasting their own time; far be it for yours truly to dictate how people piss away their pointless time, looking at shiny objects.

The fact is a HD release takes up time, effort and resources, just like all other work in life. Luckily, all the major prep work is already done, so the only thing left to do is polish up the silverware or maybe give it the ol' spit shine. But it is essentially repeating the same work once over. Allow me to demonstrate (please take into account this is fiction):

A professional company holds a qualified team of 20 people. These people work on games, on any aspect their respective fields contain. From making games, to illustrating artwork, to doing PR, etc; they all have their job to do and do so well.

Now, this company feels it can take on 3 projects with its team. On one end, they have 12 people working on a large multi-platform title. Then they have 5 people working on a handheld title. The remaining 3 people have been told to prepare the newest HD release. Seventeen people are now working on different material. Three people are revising and tweaking old stuff, which might not even be their own, such as BluePoint Games and God Of War. This basically wastes the time of 3 people capable of either aiding their colleagues or creating something novel themselves. Instead, they're busy doing the work that has already been finished and released and passing it off as if it were something new, which is just lazy.

Let's say Level 5 is working its men (and women, you feminist trolls) on releasing the amazing, upcoming Ni No Kuni. The gross amount is working to release the PS3 version in Q2 of 2011. The smaller team is prepared to finish the DS version on December 9, 2010 (that one is actually correct). The 3 remaining people are reworking Team Ico's ventures. These 3 people could've spent time on helping Ni No Kuni getting here as well. There's no point in them creating Ico; that game is already available, it's here, it's done, move on. With their aid, who knows, Ni No Kuni DS could've gotten here by December 9, 2010!

Wait what; that's the exact same date? Well of course it is; like mentioned these are professionals. They'll take on projects they feel they can finish within in an allotted time. This isn't Daikatana, where Romero spent so much time shouting random things, it basically ruined him. Well, except if you don't count going away from Ion Storm, the creators of Deus Ex, to go work for LOLapps in the end, the creators of Critter Island. My point here is that their talent is 'wasted' on doing something already done, instead of helping to create novel work. Not only that, but someone is sinking funds into old material, bringing in resources and space. Three months spent shining up graphics, a hundred thousand dollars in man hours for the project, 3 office cubicles allotted towards making the release, it's all for naught. This in the end is harmful to gamers wanting games.

Imagine all the people...

Note that harmful is in the most indirect and feeble way possible. The developers aren't coming to your home, to destroy your previous copies of games and cutting you up with the shards. But compare it to someone coughing next to you, without having the courtesy to holding his hand up. This act of lazy opportunism may not do much against you; it's not even a direct attack to your person or anything meant to be harmful. But because that person chose to be lazy and not have the effort of holding up his hand, your immune system gets to deal with germs and you could get sick; be it ever so slight. A High Definition release is like a cough in the face; not the end of the world but it's a bit rude and it might smell a bit, you lazybones

(part 2)

Now, let's go into detail in some games in specific and whether or not it's a good idea to plant this on a new console.

- God Of War Collection: This should be an obvious one to see. Not only is there nothing wrong with the old iterations, but their also considered milestones for their era. Brutally attacking the PS2's performance, both games get a ridiculously stunning visual prowess out of the game. Ask any person only even aware of the series: God Of War delivers on the goods when it comes to graphics. So why update something that doesn't even need it? It's not like it's an 8-bit game to be fully re-rendered into graphical art.

Now, both games are also some of the best action games out there, still to this day. The first one redefined hack and slash as a whole even and the second, even though much of the same, was an equally epic adventure into people's entrails. Nothing got altered in this sense, it's still is the same amazing experience, but nothing else. Bluepoint Games should've told this project where to go and start creating the next Metroid Prime.

- Ico: Another game known largely for its artful entry into the game world. The story is amazing, but the real treat here is wandering the landscapes in this story of innocent heroism. I almost tear up just thinking about it. But the fact is, the graphical aspect of the game is more than fine, it's art! So, if there is one thing about this game that doesn't feel outdated, it's the visuals. I could understand reworking some of the more rickety controls which irk many people trying to overcome platforms or fend of spirits. But the controls and such will work on the exact same engine; only the framerate will make failing more fluent. That's a largely missed opportunity.

- Shadow Of The Colossus: Almost all from above statement also applies to this game. If they ever saw the opportunity to update the most dreadful exploration aspect of a game I ever witnessed, this would've been the time. Imagine a desolate, interactive plain such as in Fallout where our hero searches for an epic beast. Unfortunately, nothing of the sort will happen and the boring and dreary desert will just look a little nicer while you fall asleep over your controller.

- Sly Cooper: I don't see much need in altering a cartoon game, since it's not meant to be that crisp; it's a cartoon. Just like with Team Ico games and others, I'm happy that this will bring some hidden gems back into the public's attention, but the game already exists in the state it came out. You could just press it again or make a new campaign for it, if you really want it to get some attention. All the work for it has been done anyway; no sense doing it again.

- Odin Sphere: Now, this is the only game I'm on the fence about, strangely enough. All above statements still apply, but this is a game that came to fruition very late into the lifespan of thePS2, after the PS3 had already been released. Therefore, a lot of people haven't even heard of this game, while it is brilliant. Not perfect in gameplay, but a jewel nonetheless. Bringing this back into attention might be a good thing for the game. Although again nothing of the actual game will be tweaked and there are still loads of PS2 copies available, so that seems wasteful at best.

But why not bring these games back? They're ports and ports exist, what's so bad about them? Well, it is correct that ports exist. Good thing too, since exclusives are annoying for any consumer. But there's a large difference between a port and a lazy port. I can still remember clearly the days that people looked down upon lazy rehashes of the same game. And I'm not talking in nostalgia about how grand Super Mario All-Stars was (since it's the equivalent of this). I'm talking about present day, where people frowned when developers pass off a PC RTS on a console. This still happens today. There is essentially nothing different about that occurrence, which gets harpooned and a HD release, which gets praised. It's a strange world like that.

No work gets done in tweaking or altering gameplay, only graphics get done over. Take for instance Ico, where the controls could use a decent tweaking. Even if the people in charge of reproducing it do that, this would be nothing more than a glorified patch. And last I checked you can't pass off a patch as original work. That's what it basically boils down to: You can't pass of old work as new work, simply because you added some glitter and a few smiley stickers; just enough to distract the 30 second attention span of today's modern young gamer. I can't turn in my article about Ys Seven's coding as a new editorial because I update it; it's an update, it's not a different creation. In the same line if you alter nothing to a game, it's still that game and nothing more. For this same reason I'm not a fan of virtual consoles and all that junk reselling ancient games. I appreciate the fact that developers want to see their masterpieces revived, but there are other ways. This is just the exact same thing. If kids had an interest they would look into tracking down said game and platform and play it then; it's much more fun this way anyway (he said, frantically waving his walking cane).

So, let's have an example of someone who used a game and added to it, as it should: New Super Mario Bros. The name itself couldn't have said it better; it's the same game, but this is actually new! For good cause as well, because the developers went out of their way to rework everything. Simply watch footage of 'old' Super Mario Bros on NES and then come back to the DS version. You'll notice the similarity but it ends there. This is a port fleshed out with such expertise, it deserves nothing but praise to revive a cIassic that already is a masterpiece on its own. That's how it should be done and it would be asinine to accept any lesser from developers and to ourselves.

I'd love to see an update in God Of War where Kratos now has to do a choreographed Quick Time Event (QTE) before leaving the underworld. In an epic dance-off, you can now implement an attachment to your old QTE system and create an unused resource. Or you could have him divert a certain path on the way to Olympus, where he now has a Cooking Mama sequence. I assure you Kratos Cooking Mama will flabbergast any –and everyone that ever plays that game.

How about Ico, where certain monsters trigger a 2D beat'em up battle in a completely new, cel-shaded, visual styIe. Or you could have hidden chambers open up, where a mushroom gives you 3 treasure chests to choose from. You'll now whisk away Yorda in your snazziest horned raccoon suit. I'm just saying, it's not hard for developing geniuses to add subtle (subtler than mine) touches to enhance your experience, instead of merely repeating it.

More than probably this debacle will turn out futile. As Sony spearheads 'CIassics HD', it's safe to say this trend will be coming to pass more often. Not only that, but it's also been confirmed that the Team Ico duplication will be done in 3D, another pointless update. Don't expect anyone to have time left to actually create a game after that making a 3D game 3D-ier.

So, buy into cheap capitalist moves if you must; you're free to feed any machine you'd like. Just know that this only keeps you an inch further away from something that doesn't exist yet and you'd like to see. You can already see the existing product, but if you'd like to pay for it again, it's your choice. If you don't mind getting further away from exciting original content, then buy new old work. Even yours truly sometimes buys the same water bottles and veggies at the local grocery store; I just expect those to be novel as well, not a tomato someone went to get his shinebox for.

Alas, Billy Bats, we knew thee well.

Daav Valentaten, NoobFeed.

Apocachips and the most awful play on words ever.

2010-09-21T18:13:00.000+02:00

I failed to sleep for 6 days straight now, so enter your own witty opening here for once. If you want me to come up with something smart, I suggest you hook me up to a never-ending caffeine pump or force feed me cocaine.

Anyway, it’s been an odd few days, I suppose. I was going to write about it as it happened, but the same rules of exhaustion apply. So, what you read will be extremely fragmented and incomplete. I even doubt most of it will still be very accurate or even correctly processed by my sleep deprived brain. But here goes:

So, yesterday I received an email stating my super awesome DS games have arrived and I should come pick them up from the store. As I almost died last week (literally), due to exhaustion, I wasn’t really chipper about having to go somewhere, but I did anyway. I was planning on returning to the gym that morning, but I started feeling extremely ill again, so I aborted early, before choking on my own vomit again. If you ever want to spend an afternoon doing something different, may I suggest fainting in a gym toilet stall. But I digress. I got up and tried to find some fitting clothes, without passing out. In one fell swoop, I also added my new favorite song, Under My Feet by None More Black, to my music player and headed out.

It will never cease to amaze me how people can look at you with such disdain, no matter how presentable you look. Yes, it’s the piercings; I know, I’m the one wearing them, not you. I have lost all comprehension as to why people try passing off charity and compassion as the social standard when nothing could be further from the truth. People are brought up to hate others and suppress anyone in a fierce global competition for social status.

I was nearing the store though, when someone crossed my path that I knew recognized me. We’ll get right back on that. First I want to tell you the jolly news that right behind her back; I noticed the store being shut down. It’s always lovely to battle consciousness over effort and having it be for naught upon arrival. Now I’m even fainter and I have no games. But back to the ho...nourable passerby, myes. Apparently, right behind me, she started picking up pace; which I could’ve concluded by her stare being stuck to the floor before she passed me. She looked more and more familiar as we were now both stuck on the same pace leading home. That’s why she chose to cross the street; you know, just in case. But enough about her; my point is, you don’t need to be friendly if you know me. But it’s kind of rude to act like I might rob, rape and kill you in the middle of a busy street in midday. Not that I couldn’t use the money and such; I just don’t like prison all that much.

Giving my middle finger to this day in general, I thought it’d be time for me to be a complete fat pig. So, I passed by the store on my way home and dug in. There I bought an assortment of lovely items. I also decided to catalogue the rare occasion, as it could probably serve as my epitaph later on: “Here lay Daav. He should’ve cut down on the greasy stuff, the fat pig”.

So, after purchasing all these lovely goods, I went home to eat everything all at once. If you’re going to live like a pig, you might as well bear down. Get it? Bear? Yes, I explain my obscure puns; otherwise my subtle genius would be lost on you all. I’m like Kanye West: A mothafuckin lyrical wordsmith, mothafuckin genius, Pardon his French. Maybe he can debate me later about the fact he doesn’t speak French and I shouldn’t start rumors about him. Is any of this getting through? If not, you and I do not share interests; sad.

Several digressions later, I walked home to stumble on more people that recognized and shunned me. At some point people should realize they are awful people, when all their acquaintances shudder in fear when they pass. Someday, I’ll make that realization as well. But I had chips to eat and sorrows to kill by indigestion.

At home, I downloaded some bad tv and start to scarf down, what I’d hope would be an imminent heart attack waiting to happen. It is strange that at these precise times, you’d get interrupted. Not on the 19 hours a day you’re completely isolated from any social contact, oh no! Right at that godforsaken point; that’s when you interrupt people, in the name of social interaction. Here’s a tip: If you were truly social, you’d let me be when I need a minute and come back to me later on, even if you have other friends. It’s called a priority and I apply it well to all my contacts. Perhaps it should be something you need to do as well.

Did I mention I found my first ever fortune cookie that day? Well, I found my first ever fortune cookie that day! At least it’s a little light point at the end of a flame engulfed tunnel. I was expecting it to taste like cardboard though and the fortune to be very snide and sarcastic. On the bringt side, I was only correct on one occasion. The fortune cookie actually tastes yummy, not at all like cardboard. If that were the case, I’d eat cardboard every day! The fortune was a bit more tasteless though. In the sense it stated: “The roots of work might be bitter, but the fruit tastes sweet”.

Yes, a work related fortune is exactly what I need right now. I’ve been summoned to appear in front of the people in charge of my welfare money. And despite my ridiculous amounts of efforts across the years, it’s no surprise I’m still jobless. This will probably not come over well, so I’m fairly screwed on the matter; even with the amounts of evidence I can present. Being depressed for months now, doesn’t help much either. But hey; we should fight and make the most of life and all that stupid bullcrap I don’t agree with. “Awakened to the blood stained face of a world that cannot be changed. Forever reminded of a nightmare that is every passing day.” These words I live by, therefore I have them imprinted in ink on my body.

As I was building up this coronary, I noticed that 300ml of Hot Salsa is actually less than I’d want it to be. And so, halfway through my bag, I was left wanting and my jar empty. Why Hot Salsa? Because I like hot tamale!(10 points for reference) Still determined to kill myself with the power of potato goods, got up once more, now filled with chips energy, and proceeded to saunter down the shop across the street. One overpriced jar of Hot Salsa later, I was back in business; though I fear the exercise of walking might’ve saved my soul.

At long last, I reached the critical point though. With about 20 chips left in the bag, I could not get another bite in, without all the other bites coming back out first. Indigestion had been achieved (Achievement unlocked – 30 points).

To make sure my brain would shut down on itself, I took a look at my right side where there are many a letter stacked, filled with official statements that need my urgent attention. I’m fairly sure some are bound to be overdue, because I can’t remember when these letters weren’t here. There’s a letter from my money-stealing union, my money revoking authority and my useless insurance. Apparently the insurance thing is something of critical importance. In that case, perhaps they should send it in a more important letter. But it doesn’t end here, oh no! You live in a dream world if you think a simple mountain of feces is enough. Feces only come in Himalayan proportions, nothing less.

My landlord has been very evasive about getting down a new contract; probably since he’s selling the house I live in with little warning. I can’t stop him though; it’s his place. But being this is the second time this has happened to me, I can’t say it does much for my general sense of trust and security. I’m not going to have any money in a month though, so I guess that doesn’t really matter, if you look at it that way.

Why do people keep asking me what I will do once that occurs? I have no idea what they expect my response will be, I really don’t. If I don’t have a plan for basic daily routines in life, how do you think my visions of the probable and debatable future are? My hypothesis is, I will wait until my money runs out, which I expect to happen in about a month and a half. After that I will wait to get evicted from this house, if it is still under my contract and still functional. And after that, I suppose curling up and die is the ‘plan’. I wouldn’t know how else the situation can be handled.

There’s a lot I’m not telling you, of course. If it only were this simple, it wouldn’t be much of a conundrum. I might be lowly educated, but that doesn’t render me useless from an intellectual standpoint, just from a technical standpoint. So, let’s try and end this on some random notions:

I started a DailyBooth recently and have enjoyed acting like a tool on it. What else is there to do with my life than acting like a tool? It’s not like I’m useful for anything else. But in general, I’ve talked to a lot of people lately; none of them seeming to share a lot of interests with me. But I guess some attention is better than none; be it ever so slight.

I also finished all my fatty foods today and was still hungry when all was finished. I didn’t get up once more though, as I stated earlier I’m exhausted. I wonder if this has something to do with the near death experience thingie?

Anyways, we’ll conclude here. It’s been a while since a personal post, so consider this way overdue. There will be less personal blogs to follow later, if I can get one project to start. If so, expect more news here. But you can also follow me on a whole rayon of social media to stay updated. Here is everything you need to know:

Twitter
YouTube
Tumblr
Last.fm
Noxa
Netlog
DailyBooth
Pokemon Fan Page - Facebook

And gamesites:

NoobFeed – I’m a staff writer on this one
Gamespot – I’m a mentioned member on this one
ButMob
GiantBomb
All others are usually ghost accounts:
1Up
GameTrailers

There’s more, but they’re not even worth mentioning. But if you have any sites you’d like to know I’m a part of, feel free to ask on any active account.

This isn’t one.

History Reviews Itself.

2010-06-07T00:16:00.000+02:00

What’s up douchebags? Your cholesterol? Man, that line is so old and cheesy and you stole it from an even worse film. For shame, imaginary person, for shame!

Yesterday, I had a fairly old school hangout with Second Base and got a hold of their new effort “Manifesto” and also The Rocket’s cd. I had been meaning to get their new cd somehow, but since I no longer support (read: buy) music, those chances were slim. Of course, it does help as an incentive that the band in question plasters the most unflattering picture of yours truly they can find all over their cd and promo. It kind of obliges one to get a hold of a copy, if only to prevent one more horrific photo of you to reach the outside world.

When I finally had a few seconds to myself and the alcohol of days past lingered away from my hearing, I put on the tracks as fast as I could. It was time to be surprised or ultimately disappointed. And the verdict is… a mystery. Why? Well, because it made me think back to a time where I wrote reviews for albums, concerts and such. And I remember those days well. It made me yearn to do so once more, if only to finally be able to view an analysis that doesn’t make me cry. Truly, reviews of late have been so amateur it made me feel ashamed that I did better when I was 18 and had no writing experience at all. So, if you write reviews, there's about a 90% chance I've read them, despised it and laughed out of secret shame. It's not that they're bad per se; it's just that most are bland and lazy. Adding nothing, absolutely nothing I wouldn’t discover myself by just checking out one or 2 random songs on a band's Myspace. But then the other side of those days kicked in: All the bullpoo “politics” that goes along with writing reviews for bands.

What bands say when they hand you a cd for review is this: “Yes, please review our cd. We don’t mind if it’s bad or not, we just want an honest opinion of our music. Anything you’d like to say, please say it. We’re really looking forward to it” That, my, errm, friends, is what I’d like to call “bandspeak”. You’ll notice once you talk to any band. They are either the biggest saints ever created on the planet, or complete asshats that are so far up their own arse, they can smell their aorta. The truth is most bands are somewhere in between that and more sided on the latter expression than the first. So the above paraphrasing actually means this: “You, worthless promo-person. Here’s our divine gift we grace your meaningless existence with. Write the most flattering, brown-nosing, arse-licking statement you can about it, now! If you don’t, we will spread ill word over you and everything you do so fast and so vast, people will associate your name with the next disease comparable to AIDS. Shove your honesty. If this review comes up with anything less than a perfect score, we will come by your house and brutally beat you.” I’ll be right on that, good sirs! Yessum, I just loves me some writing, I does.

So, I have decided not to review any recent music I acquired yet, since most of it comes from people I know. Instead, I’ll write one for an album I already know is good and thus can’t really upset any frail, frail hearts with. Here goes: More Than Life - "Brave Enough To Fail"

More Than Life from Whereeverthefuck, England is a band that sprung out of a somewhat recent trend in the hardcore landscape, being melodic hardcore. Think of it like Emo for people who are too lazy and cool to play dress up and wear make-up. Whether or not they are pioneers or are just riding some hype coattail doesn’t matter, More Than Life is a powerhouse in its genre that is overturning some hardcore standards. The fact alone that they’re from the UK makes people all wet in the pants. Because for some reason, being born in a specific area in the world makes you better at some things than others. Right then. Nevertheless, their music doesn’t make me gag, like the plethora of generic crap that spews out of this fine world every week. Also, they have a defined sound of their own and go even further than that by influencing cheap knockoffs of them. Imitation is the sincerest of flattery and all that. So, kudos goes to you More Than Life. Now, on to your debut EP “Brave Enough To Fail”.

Easing us into their works, “Aperture” is an instrumental interlude that melodic hardcore bands like to do. Only to prove their worth as musicians, I’m sure. I personally hate that with a vengeance. If it’s just a prologue to the upcoming song(s), then paste it to said song and don’t give us this bull. Luckily, apart from being unnecessary, the song does what it’s supposed to well. It sets the mood, gives us a flavor of what to expect and is very enjoyable to listen to. And for once, it’s not an actual song cut in half, but finishes differently than the next song begins.

The time for pleasantries has now passed as we set in “Faceless Name”. It is now time to dance, time to scream and time to feel. From this point on the goosebumps you felt coming up in the first song will grace you like you were some sort of cheese grater and won’t leave you anymore. From the first riffs on you’ll feel it. And once the singer makes his presence known, all hell breaks loose. You’d have to be some sort of sociopathic monster not to feel a shred of what emotion was put into this album. The melodies and lyrics intertwine in such a seamless manner, they start magnifying themselves into an infinite power surge of raw emotion. The only problem is that after such a start, it is hard to not go downhill from there.

Therefore “In Hindsight” tries to switch it up in the beginning and starts off as a lot faster and less melodic song. It’s a nice way to broaden their spectrum and try to impress us once more. However, halfway through, the melodic aspect returns to us, but doesn’t quite catch the vibe as before. It becomes a little too repetitive even towards the end. I feel the outro could have been cut short by at least half a minute. Bad move, since attention spans are short in our internet generation.

Keeping in mind this EP is like 16 minutes long, I push myself back in gear for “Never Ender”. Starting off as a mix of Comeback Kid songs, it breaks around half a minute to push us into that emotion pulse once again. It succeeds in this quite well and the buildup that follows it draws you back in, to blow up into a faster bit with a nice gang vocal. Strangely enough, the melodies take a back seat again and the outro once more seems to go on forever. Yes, you like instrumental bits, we know. I don’t think it necessarily amplifies your mood, rather than just boring us.

Since the title track is next, it’s a little less hard to shift back into gear. If it’s good enough for a title, then it must be the cream of the crop, such is my understanding. Starting off slow, this ironically is the shortest track of the 5. Notice how I don’t count your first thingie as an actual song. As 1 minute is spent as an interlude, I’d imagine they’ll spend the next minute trying to make me orgasm; otherwise this has truly been wasted time. When the song finally does kick in, we get the best vocal work on this EP so far. Even better than the first, the raw emotion of the vocalist comes through so perfectly, you’ll forget there is anything else to this song. But the musicians also try hard to keep up with it, although it again isn’t as melodic as their first songs. You’d wonder if they even are a melodic hardcore band after repeating this process for so long.

Perfect timing on their part, the last song “Fear” starts off as a more peaceful melody, only to blow up in your face seconds later. They later on do fuse back in more prominent melodies and accompany this with hard hitting breaks. It slows back down for a while to create another emotion build up. And this doesn’t stop until the abrupt ending of the song. Until then you’ll get the better work, like on their first track, where music and lyrics go hand in hand so well, you’ll forget any other indiscretion that might have happened before. The ending happens in such a manner, you’ll be left wanting more and start listening to the first track again right away. It’s a very nice way to hook people into your music, even though I hate cliffhangers.

Overall, “Brave Enough To Fail” is an amazing first effort, if anything. Not only is the music diverse and incredibly talented, but the lyrics and especially the voice are so rich and emotional, it makes the better Emo bands cry out of shame. Well, more so than otherwise, I guess. It might have a few imperfections, like milking the endings a bit, but other than that, this EP sets a standard. It’s a standard for any hardcore band that would like to come off as emotional and melodic and mean it. The fusion of guitars and voice amplify each other to such an extent, this album just radiates a large array of any emotion you’d like to attach to it, but even more so a genuinely, pure honesty. If you like powerful music with a meaning and with a heart, you’ll love this. If you’re a bit on the dim side and you need names to know if you’ll dig something, then sure, I’ll indulge you: Comeback Kid, Bane, Verse, Have Heart and then some Emo bands. Fill those in as you like, you pansy.

Verdict: 9/10

On a completely different note now: If you’d like me to review anything:

If you’d like me to review how horrific your band or any other band is, feel free to email me a link to your garbage. If you’d also like for me to vomit all over your artwork and how depressing your, otherwise completely inaudible, lyrics are, either include those or arrange for a postal package.

Be aware though: Even if we’re buddy buddies and we like the sense of each other’s sweat on our dirty bits, the chance of me praising all sorts of false prophets on your works is slim. In fact, some pieces might be broken down in a fashion you should be accustomed to by now. For the love of said idols, please don’t ask me to do so, if you won’t be completely honest about it yourself. If we really are friends, don’t ask us to be this hypocrite about it. I’d much rather keep my friends by declining a request, than by having you be dishonest about your intentions and ruining our friendship once I fulfill it honestly.

If you are a ten year old girlie at heart and can’t take any criticism, then there is no way this will work out. Also, don’t expect constructive criticism, as that’s not my job. My job is to point out the bad and good, if any of the two apply. I’m not there to counsel you on what I believe would improve your work. If I was, I’d like to get paid for dishing out advice.

That being said, this was just a test and I might never review anything ever again. I’m fickle like that and my priorities change constantly. Awful, I know.

Blow me.

The Non-epic Epic.

2010-05-20T17:31:00.000+02:00

It's strange how even short and routine trips can be eventful when you let them.

Today, I had to leave the safety of my cave, I mean room, to go out to job management. It's quite the dull ordeal of people telling you how you could get a hold of a career and all that jazz. Except, after hearing that for so long, it kind of loses its original spark.

Anyway, a numerous things occurred to me on the hour or so I ventured into the open world. That strange, shiny, confusing, open world:

- It takes skanks 18 cars to hitch a ride from a suspicious, black minivan:

While I was waiting for my bus, next to the malodorous, balding man, I was looking to kill some pointless time. I loathe waiting so much; it's in essence the most horrid human pastime ever created. Because, basically, it's standing around actively doing nothing! If that isn't contradictory, then I don't know what is. Whilst engineering this wondrous plan, suddenly a lady person of the female kind appeared out of nowhere on the other side of the street. Now, I'd call her out on her ill demeanor, but that would be rude. But seriously though, she had all symptoms going for her: Clothes so trashy even I felt offended by the gratuity of it. A general slouch and stare that shows her extreme ennui with this wretched existence. And that oh so classy, open mouth, chewing, bubblegum trick that all the upstanding citizens of our nation do. I swear to you, I could nearly smell the STDs from where I was standing.

Then, to no surprise of mine, she starting barely lifting a finger to extend a hitchhiker thumb, only a few feet away from an actual bus stop. This, again, with as much enthusiasm as her general stance on life. It's nice to see people who are so jaded in life at such an age, they've already thrown all morals and values out the door. More casual pussy for us all, as long as you don't mind the presents you get from all previous 'testers'.
It made me remember a show, where they tested how many cars it took for people to get picked up. And in her general case, I expected the first car to make a screeching halt. But in fact, it had seemed I had too much faith in humankind. It took a numerous amounts of cars, driven by nice, single, young men, to eventually have someone stop. By the way, I love the person who fucked with her head by slowing down, only to take a turn into the street left of her. Kudos, sir.

In the end, after 18 cars had passed, a very suspicious Minivan with blinded rear windows took halt. An even more suspicious man opened the door and off she went on her adventure.

This screamed 'date rape' all over, but I'm pretty sure her appearance already kind of considered that within the favor. I'm glad at least someone is getting some today, semi-forced or not. And in the end, you can't really be upset into being pressured to share a venereal disease.

- Kids are the darnedest creatures:

No, really, kids are some of the most cruel and yet honest humans out there. Unburdened by any taught social rules, they say and do pretty much all they feel like, until somebody tells them differently.

After I waited long enough to drown in my own sweat, the bus arrived. I could already see the admiration I'd get from my first impression at the interim station. What with reeking hours of sweat and all.. So, I get on and it's fairly crowded in there, so I can't really manage to get to the back. Before I can even move forward, I get shoved in my sides. And we all love getting shoved in our kidneys, don't we? I look up to swiftly knock out a few teeth out of the culprit, only to see a child address me, even though I have my earphones in.

And here's the deal people: He wanted to know about my piercings. In fact, all the kids of the class rushed on like flies on sh..marmalade to see and ask me about my lip piercings.

I get a LOT of wind for having to metal studs through my lip. People are always going about how bad it's for my appearance and it frightens people and blablabla. Although I always keep telling them that they don't own them, so they can't know and in reality people are always more intrigued than actually scared. Again, I was proven right when random stranger infants swarmed me for questions. Do they hurt? Can you eat with those? Do you sleep with them? I've heard all these questions a million time, but I thought it was endearing these kids were so eager to know and not afraid at all to ask. Their handlers were a bit fed up with their annoying barrage of inquiries, but I didn't mind. Then some kids grabbed my earphones to listen to what I listening to. I was blasting Remembering Never, as usual, but they seemed to dig it a lot. I should hire these kids to give a wake up call to society. It's sad to see that we only get taught preconceptions and notions about people. Which makes it all that much more sad when someone says he doesn't have any prejudices around tattoo's or piercings. If you didn't sir, you wouldn't have mentioned it and this is undeniable proof.

- Social workers are a gamble on your life:
It was time for me to arrive at my destination. I arrived at the swankiest of places I've ever seen from just an office. I was unsure if this was an interim office or if they were discovering time travel machines there. Anyway, I walk into the largest room I've ever seen in my life and I just stood there. There was no one at any front desk, because that's just how these post-modern kids roll. Sitting at desks for help? What are we, in the '90s?
After a while I heard heels clicking and a lady asked me to wait while she summoned my appointment. I was asked to sit and wait alone in the huge room. They made me sit in one of those spherical chairs, because again, post-modern and stuff. I took some time to reminisce about how Gaston Lagaffe used to own such a contraption. But it was best if I kept that to myself, as he's not really the poster boy for a motivated worker. He's the poster boy for me though, I'll tell you that!

Right after I got bored to death with novel seating, my counselor summoned me forward. She was..special. I've never seen someone that is this chipper at work. I mean, prozac bender chipper here. I mean, someone could've died right then and there and there would still be a smile on her face so big, that it would make the Chesire cat feel shame. Tim Burton, if you are reading this by the way, stop making movies. You suck. Incidentally, Kevin Smith rules (10 points for reference).

Strangely enough, my counseling took place in the smallest room imaginable, within that fortress. It actually turned out to be quite a relaxing talk. I'm sure thats just her strategy, but even if so, that strategy works for me. Everything I mentioned was received very positively and I pretty much agreed on the same schedule I think she had in mind. This was some awesome counseling skills and I tell you, it doesn't always go that way.

It's really always a gamble if you will do well or not, not because of your own merits, but for the one on the other side of that table. Basically, they control a lot of power over you and if they're good to you, you'll advance and prosper. But for the same reasons, you might get stuck with someone who hasn't your best interests in mind and thus you'll fall way short in the job market and start resenting jobs in general. Whether your life is going up or down is really up to them and their ability to cope. In the past I've had some truly horrific encounters that really made me resent jobs and counseling: Usually, I'm better than that as to drop names, but ask around. Anyone I've met that has also met her, can't get negative enough about her. In no way shape or form should she be assisting people in such a delicate matter. And I say this as a professional and a graduated social worker. I believe everyone should follow their calling and this obviously isn't hers.

But it also made me wonder why I always anticipate the worst of these events. In truth, this ordeal of counseling has gotten me down for a few weeks already, since I heard the dreaded news. It's just so heartbreaking to go through the same cycle over and over and get forced to shove failure down your throat every single time. But in this case, the pill was at least filled with sugar and coated with chocolate for gentle insertion. It now feels like such a vast amount of wasted time. Although I always loathe a change in my daily rut. I'm just autistic like that. Perhaps I can see towards changing this attitude, but it's much too early to see about that. But it is a welcome start. I'm relieved things turned out to be rather smoothly. Especially since we agreed on helping me in my general checkup case from the government. I'm a downright mess when it comes to organize these things, so I'm glad I won't have to ask the counselors at the VDAB for help. Because they have never helped me with anything on that part. And for that fact, neither has my union, that I pay for. More so even, they've even helped kicking me down a few times and aided me getting suspended, rather than aiding me out of said inspection.
Thanks for agreeing with the inspector that I'm a worthless bum, dude. I though you were my friend here. But it's nice to see you chose your buddy's side.
Dick.

A Surge Of Certain Imaginary Death

2010-05-12T18:23:00.002+02:00

So, my dreams are messed up. I mean really messed up. I always wake up wondering what the hell is going on and why I would fashion such atrocities. For some reason, most my dreams will include a nuclear explosion and end with me dying in the blast or contemplating long and hard about post-nuclear life in hell. This dream, ladies and gents, is not any different. I'll try and write down what I still remember, so if there are blanks, there are no explanations. Not that it would be explainable in the first place.

So, the details start that we're going to take a bus to see the country, but there's more to it in my mind. We're in this strange city and it feels like I'm inside a GTA franchise when I'm looking at the streets. It's dark and we're running to catch our transport. There's plenty buses, but all of them are going in the direction I'm trying to escape. All in all, we arrive in the knick of time and jump on board, to escape from the busy city streets.

Our bus is Herentals bound, but it's taking a detour. It should be going to Ramsel, but I did not want to pass through there. My companions; being my mother, my brother and my girlfriend, are all quite pleased that I've decided to go through a scenic route, so we can see more country. At this point, I reveal my plans for all the rush. My answer to my companions is that you can't see a nuclear, mushroom blast while you're standing in it and I point them towards the fungus apocalypse. Behind the bus is a huge, and I mean gargantuan, mushroom cloud forming, destroying everything in it's path. Trees, buildings and any other tall structures we can see from afar are all getting swallowed and added to the dust racing to get us in its clutches.

At this point, it's safe to say everyone on the bus is freaking the hell out. The original gleam of contentment in my companions' eyes are traded in for glares of disbelief and fear. My mother and my girlfriend have a hard time coping with the fact there is doom rushing towards us.

But to make matters worse, the mustached bus driver is completely losing it. He's the persona of a guy I see at my gym from time. He's this seriously overweight and hairy bloke that is constantly rambling to himself while lifting weights. It's so freaking discomforting I can never continue my workout while he's doing his. Imagine Scruffy from Futurama, combined with Santa Claus, Cliff from Cheers and Moe Szyslak from the Simpsons all rolled into one. Now, imagine this person on a ten year crack bender and violently talking to himself like Eleanor Abernathy, known as the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons.

So, this raving lunatic is clearly upset by the advancing cloud of death and he takes his ramblings to overdrive mode. He's become a doomsayer and his actions towards us have become even more erratic than before. He starts shouting and laughing maniacally whilst driving into traffic, trying to hit other vehicles. From this point on, we rush to the front to try and talk some sense in this obviously psychotic, Spongebob acting, driving douchebag. Of course, he'll have none of it and decides to stop driving all together. This makes our bus slow down and makes the death cloud rush over closer.

I decide it's fair time to push this man aside and try and steer the bus myself. So, I stomp this mustached madman out of his seat and he rambles something about killing, blablabla. He disappears from my sight and from my dream, but I can only hope he jumped out of the bus and died a horrible death.

So, now here we are, with the bus under my control trying to outrace certain death. Of course, our plans have drastically changed from just going to Herentals as a first stop and I've decided to drive as far up as I can. The other passengers will have to concur or die, there isn't much choice in unwilling coercion. I try driving and meanwhile contemplate what life is going to be like from now on. For one, we won't be able to stay in Belgium, if we don't want to be radiated do death. Hell, for all I know the most severe damage is already being done while we're trying to escape. It's not like I can see radioactive particles.. Anyway, I've somewhat decided at that point to drive all the way to Sweden and live there.

Why Sweden? I don't know, I'm trying to cheat certain death here, my actions don't need serious thought at that point. Sweden is a nice country, with lots of nature, really friendly people, a decent economy and also a decent government. It's also as far away from any radioactivity as we'll be able to get. I think for a one second thought, that isn't all that bad. I'd like to see what you come up with, when maneuvering a device you don't know for the first time, with death trying to grab you as fast as it can. Perhaps I can enjoy a show from the kickass dudes in Big Deal and Values in my post-apocalyptic life. Maybe that's why we're headed there and not say, Finland. Forget Norway (10 points for reference)!

Now, for some reason, the roads start to become very winding, with lots of on ramps everywhere making you drive circles. And as we all know, circles are not straight lines leading away from imminent demise clouds. No no, quite the opposite they are. And for even stranger reasons, my dream knows that driving a car requires you to shift gears when accelerating or decelerating. I wouldn't even think of that in real life, I have no idea why I would imagine it now.. And even though you can get up to speed and such without shifting gears, it's bad for your engine and it doesn't go so well. Why do I know that? It's quite puzzling..

So, here I am trying to operate a vehicle I can't and all I can think of is that we're all going to die, because I can't drive a fucking car. Pardon my French, but it's become quite a stressful situation at this point. Every time I try to shift gears, I take away my foot from the right pedal, which in my dream is the gas and put my left foot on the middle one, which in my dream is the clutch. I know that's probably all wrong, but shut the hell up. It's already quite miraculous that I'm dreaming in such detail about it.

Shifting doesn't go well and is accompanied by a lot of hiccups and more importantly a lot of slowing down. I just can't seem to get the timing right and can't shift without looking to what speed I'm shifting. With all the circles upwards I'm driving, that's a lot of shifting I need to do and it's making the distance between us and the mushroom cloud shrink at troubling speed.

My panic sets in when we can actually see the head of the cloud rushing from underneath a bridge nearby, before the force of the main gust swallows it in its entirety. From then on I call for my companions to work the gear shifter while I try and drive away. Since none of these people know how to work a car either, I need to give them a crash course in shifting gears and its mechanics, while now really trying to get every second forward I can. It isn't easy to try and explain that you don't need to be in fifth to move forward. And in general our chances will be best if we shift somewhere between first and third most the time, since we're driving a lot of circles.

I get a few good forward motions in before we drive onto another on ramp and we slow down again. In all, I think the cloud is less than 10 seconds away when we accelerate again, with my girlfriend on the shifter and the dream ends.

I hope for the sake of all my imaginary companions that I've made the right decisions in that time of panic and that in the end, we beat the armageddon cloud to safety. I hope we're all safe and well in imaginary Sweden, trying to start a new life amongst the sun, trees and snowy nature surroundings.

PS: My sincere apologies for the seriously subpar writing skills, I wrote this as fast as I could to remember as much as possible. so, I had to trade in decent structured sentences and vocabulary for mundane sentences. I hope it's still amusing to read. If not, I'm sorry.

CIVILIZATION V - An Open Letter To Sid Meier

2010-04-27T03:03:00.002+02:00

I just got banned on Gamespot for defending gay rights. That has given me some spare time to post other things on other sites, so I thought I'd post something here again. This is the editorial I worked all night on yesterday, just prior to getting booted. Good thing I put all that effort in to create it.

Guess that'll teach me to be an honest,exemplary citizen...

-----------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sid Meier,

And for that matter, everyone over at Firaxis.
I can hardly describe in words the anticipation I have for your new installment(s?) of Civilization you are promising us this fall. In fact, it is so big, I'm prepared to finally get rid of my tyrannosaurus computerex and save my ass off for a new one. Crysis, BioShock and other flaunters of insane flash be damned, I'll upgrade my rig for a static strategy game with little to no razzle dazzle. There's just no way I'd want to miss out on a new Civilization. How is that for irony?

Your keynote address about Civilization and games in general only fueled this anticipating fire. It is clear that there is not only a lot of technical thought in your games, but also psychological consideration. Not afraid by modern standards, you successfully debate the fact that you can leave out certain elements in a game, to make room for others. As you said, the human imagination is a powerful tool and it's good to see that it's being put to good use. It reminds me of days where everything was a square and the only indication of what that square was, rested in the game title. I am a strong follower of this concept and believe that it will give a lot more room to create an even bigger epic than the fourth installment. Hopefully developers were paying attention and we can see a trend of details being cut away to accommodate gameplay value. Don't get me wrong; Civilization V will still hold its own graphically, as I've seen from various short videos and cutscenes. It just won't add flash where not needed and that's a good thing; a very good thing. I like more game and less movie, to put in short.

You might want to grab some coffee, it's going to be a long thing.

The past few months that I've heard of this glorious news, I also have been hearing about numerous rumors, as these things always go. In this letter to you, I'd like to discuss with you these rumors and clear up my opinion of them as an avid fan, but also avid gamer and consumer in general.

We already know you'll be revolutionizing your world with hexagon tiles. No, not revolutionizing the strategy world, these tiles have existed since Master Of Monsters. I am still very interested in seeing how this will affect the known world of Civilization though! So many things will need to be rethought and tactics redone. Change is scary, but we'll have to bear through it, for the best.

Add to this the other changes you'll be making in combat, with only 1 unit per hex and units consisting of actual troops. It will make for an entirely new game. Yes, I know how that sounds, of course it's a new game; but I mean for a new game in its entirety, not just a new Civilization game. You could call it Sim Society or Humanity Tycoon! Just kidding, that sounds awful. Nonetheless, CIV V will not be Advanced CIV IV and that's a good trend to follow, as CIV IV also felt radically different than its first 3 brethren. I'm not sure if all these changes will be to my liking, I just hope they will inspire me like everything you put into Civilization IV.

And here is where the real chatter begins, sirs. My ears have heard you'll be making changes to some aspects of CIV IV I loved so much. Well, I liked 100% of the game, so that's not hard. I'm just saying that it's perhaps not necessary to take out the hatchet to some concepts. Please, let us bury it for now.

For instance, I heard that random events will not return. I hope this especially isn't true, because I waited 4 installments for this to happen. There is nothing more refreshing than completely random events. It keeps you on your toes and keeps a game new and interesting. Just like Mother Nature herself, most things are out of our hands and that is a good thing. Don't listen to purist that demand 100% control over everything they do. If that was the case, this world wouldn't have Brussels sprouts. You can't control an eruption cancelling all flights to Europe. You can't control an earthquake destroying your tropical paradise. But that is the essence of life. And it's not like all events are bad. We discover new and amazing things every day. Things that improve life through medicine, new ways to provide food, cleaner power sources; all these things also create the life we live. If games have taught me one thing, it's that random events are the single, best implementation of games.

A perfect example of a good and a bad event. *click to enlarge*

There is nothing better than having a completely random game, as it will give you a new and unique game each and every time. It is like buying a new game every time you play it. It's because of this, that my top 3 games I sunk the most time in are Diablo II and your own Pirates and Civilization. In Diablo, it was the rush of finding new items and clearing new dungeons each time that made you come back time and time again. In Civilization, playing a different game each time, created a new world with different outcomes, different leaders and different situation. It's like starting a new life.

But the most fun was playing Pirates on Commodore 64. We go a long way back, to the days of Microprose, sirs. In those days, it gave you such an amazing sense of freedom, you kept coming back every day. Encountering random ships and slaying them was so fun, you would just roam the seas and forget about the rest. Heading into ports, not knowing what might happen and the conquest to becoming the best you could be, made this game one of my all-time favorites. It was so good that our Commodore was the center piece of our living room and it would turn night and day in rotation between me, my brother and even my mother. That's right, even my mother was completely addicted to it, perhaps even more than us.

Sailing the simple seas.

If all these arguments have not convinced you to keep random events alive, I have no idea what will. Though I'm sure I can debate even more on the fact. But as I'm not a paid employee at Firaxis, this is all I can do without access to board meetings and developer feedback. I'm not saying they are perfect and do not need fine-tuning, because they most certainly do. They ruined multiplayer games at the drop of a hat, placing players out of sync and the community might frown on some events obliterating their success rate. But even when it ruined my multiplayer games with my brother, we persevered time and time again, for the love of these same events. So, put them under the microscope, sure, but don't leave them out altogether. Quests especially, as they were the best element added to the game. You could downsize others, but don't take away the small RPG element you threw in there for us. I bet I'm not the only one that felt like a kid receiving a Nintendo 64 at Christmas when such a quest first popped on my screen.

I'm glad we got that out of the way. Perhaps it is time for a small break? No, let us press on to one more rumor. It might not be as important, but I feel it needs saying.

Religion and culture were a new addition to Civilization IV and I've read official reports that religion will not return. Why is that? You must've extensively put time into placing it into the game, so it must've been good. It doesn't seem like you'd be the type of people to add something last minute to a game. Is there something that went wrong in lobbies or politically? Perhaps it hit some weird taboos, as religion has always been a very delicate topic. But if any religion has also taught us 1 thing and 1 thing alone, it's that it inspires people to be good. So don't listen to fanatics, I liked them better as generic characters in Civilization II's fundamentalist times anyway. They should bear an open mind to people advertising faith and humbly accept any differences they might have. Isn't that what their respective prophets say? It's the reason I hold an agnostic belief, instead of an atheist one. Because I believe that teaching others to be decent human beings is something that should be welcomed.

Compassion, moderation, and humility.

I, for one, enjoyed this addition. It might not have been my favorite, but it did add a new way to play. And this is my main concern upon taking it away now. You've finally taken in account this aspect of a society, so we can play this way and now you'd take it back? Please do not throw it away as of yet. Let us bury it with the previous concept and build on the additions, instead of discarding them. It would seem such a waste of labor and effort to do so. You can research what people disliked about it and finetune it from there, but I saw no flaws in it. It's not like it was a groundbreaking way to play, like winning through culture. Although it aided in that resolution, I never felt it overpowered anything or anyone. My brother and I both went out of our way to create our respective societies under our religious banner, not because of the meager benefits, but because of the added realism to it. You'd start out as a given religion and throughout time, if your civilization would allow it, you'd take in other beliefs to strengthen your community and culture. It sounds like real life, doesn't it? Good thing it's not; I wouldn't enjoy Mongolians tearing down my city walls, in their conquest for glory in the 21st century.

Let's hope you don't take away any of the game experiences you've added previous time, because I fear it will shrink gameplay value. This way Civilization IV will be better than V, simply because it has more aspects to offer. Sure, there's room for different additions, but even that will just feel like a replacement, more than an additions. So, I advise to build upon the given choices from the previous installment, instead of altering some. Because the new aspects you've already given out now on top of the old facets would already suffice to make Civilization V a better game. But I'm sure you're much better than that and have even more in store for us. Lucky us, gamers, that we get spoiled with such masterful game designing, surpassing any other.

In this same line, I can only imagine the broadened appreciation you'll get once Civilization comes to Facebook. No doubt, this will topple Farmville of its unrightful pedestal in no time. Facebook has a good reputation of offering addicting and time consuming games. So I'm sure that offering an actual good game will blow the masses minds and set forth an entire new era of Facebook games. Perhaps it will even alter browser and social network games altogether. I can only think of the vast opportunities that can be exploited in this massive game. It will be like a real social network. Wait, we already have that. It will be like an actual Civilization come to life! The interaction and social possibilities are endless in my mind and I'm sure it will turn out for the best. If ever I could be a beta gamer, it would be for that very game. My social studies, accompanied with my favorite game; it would be like heaven.

Mafia Wars better plan a hostile takeover

On this note of flattery, I shall leave you to your business, for I know you have busy days ahead. I hope I will have persuaded you all, over at Firaxis, to reopen some cases and perhaps salvage old ideas that were put on the table. It's all a huge drawing board and you have to clear it sometimes, but it's always better to hoard something than to discard it and regret it later. Now I'll let you get back to it, that masterful drawing board. Creating an entire Civilization is hard work.

We all know Rome wasn't built in one day.

Chapter Six: The Expected Anticlimax Cliché

2010-03-19T22:43:00.007+01:00

My inspiration has left me entirely I'm afraid. My disposition is partially to blame for this. The lust for life has already long parted with my body, but it recently has less vigor than ever. I've seen carnivorous plants with more swagger than your truly. Also, the times I've been doing nothing, have been shared with playing Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. Let this be a lesson to you all: If you want a game and it looks interesting and reviews concur with that, buy it! Don't wait.
This game is one of the most magical experiences I have ever had the chance to immerse myself in. To be completely fair, it has been the fine line between me engaging in random, drunken fisticuffs and vague sanity. Yes, that also has been fleeting of late. In fact, my original idea, while at rock bottom, was to write down this experience of delusion. I withdrew at the last minute, however, as it would come off sordidly morbid and even borderline psychopathic. Perhaps one day, ey guv'ner?

No, to end my tales, I leave you with an even greater anticlimax. In fact, this won't be a blog post at all. Instead, I leave you with a shameless copy paste, to emphasize my legacy of pure futility. Of course, I have a reason for that, though it might be one only I can understand.

Today, something rather unexpected happened. Normally, I put a lot, even too much, effort in writing these long and droning blogs about nothing. But on March 11, I did not have that time and had to fill my schedule with something. Being too worn down by existence to play aforementioned game, I set out to do something else. It will be the experience you will be reading about and added to this, the writing of the blog itself.
Quickly flash forwarding to today, comes the logic for my choice to end this way: I've been mentioned by Gamespot for my outstanding blog. Therefore, I will share it with you, as I concluded that if it's good enough for a vast community of equal minded gamers, it should be good enough to end on, for all to read. Many thanks to Gamespot for their mention of me, you can find the link to it HERE!
Enoy this shameless plagiary of my own works and I hope you've enjoyed reading this.

My 15 minutes of internet fame. Time to bask in my self-satisfaction.

DIY Gaming repair; a lost art?

In an effort to repair my broken games, I fixed my Gameboy Color cartridge of Pokémon Silver today.

The idea came from having to look up two things about broken Nintendo DS parts in 2 days. Being rather upset I had 2 malfunctioning units, I decided to see if I could fix them myself. sending them over to Nintendo costs a lot and for that money, I might as well buy a new console.
The first problem was a broken L-button and got fixed, easier than I thought, with this effort. On a sidenote, I'm glad the topicstarter got helped in the end and people came together in joy of repaired console glory!
The second problem however, was 2 broken hinges and can only be fixed by replacing the shell. A process to complicated for me to pull off and thus I still have one broken DS, for which I mourn.

It made me feel a bit bad, I couldn't repair it, so I tried to redeem myself with something else. I have a cartridge here, from which I suspected the battery to be dead. As most games I own are extremely old, that was my guess as a tech-noob. After only very short research, I proved those suspicions and noticed how 'easy' it was to repair. A quick, complete fix could be done with a screwdriver and some tape. And although I have no tech skills and therefore also no screwdriver, I made due. Armed solely with a nailclipper, no less! It made me flashback the days of old, when I applied more ghetto knowledge to save a few bucks.

Your ghetto fix in practice

You see, back in the day, I used to game even more and so did my mother and my brother, all on the same console. Add that all up and you'll get some serious abuse towards your system. We must have gone through, at least, a dozen SNES controllers and 6 to 10 Atari joysticks that way. Press the buttons in frustration enough times and then BAM! Another controller bites the dust.
In those days, technology wasn't as complicated and you could weld most controllers back into a working shape, for a good while. Our mom taught us how to weld (imagine that!) and that way we saved hundreds of euros. Since we had only our allowance to go by, that really helped. Don't forget, your budget was as limited as it got and you had to stretch that game as far as you could.

Just put the buttons on the allocated spots; easy as pie!

Today, we are spoiled of sorts and all the technology is available to us on a wide array and at a lot of different prices. It makes us take some things for granted and when things breaks, we usually just throw them away. It's easier to go find a second hand SNES than to open one up and repairing it. We are blessed to have all we need at our fingertips and we need only reach out to grab it.
Also, machines have become more and more complex, so fixing a Red Ring Of Death might not be as easy as welding back a piece. It increases our consumerism, to go out and buy a new Xbox 360, instead of going through an arduous task of repairing one.

Game Over or To Be Continued?

With the power of internet, the world has now become our flea market and replacing goods has never been easier. Just think of the things you can buy from Ebay, Amazon or other, local, auction sites. A quick browse will make you discover the games you need and, if you don't beware, send you right into game addiction, like yours truly. With a site like Amazon that refers you to other bought items, it's easy to lose track and start shopping away frantically. It also decreases the value we put into owning certain items.

We used to be able to buy one or 2 games every few months and with some luck attend one or two flea markets a year. Now, whenever we want, we can surf and buy whatever our little heart desires. If we grow tired of a game, it's easier to give into temptation and buy a new one, instead of biting down and finishing our previous endeavor.
And finishing a game more than twice has become utter madness. I finished Super Mario World so many, many times, I'm amazed my launch cartridge still works to this day. I can't say I've finished God Of War three times or more.

The basic point of all this is: You don't have to throw away something that breaks. You don't have to become an engineer quite yet, but reflect for a second. Would it be worth trying to repair that DS, instead of buying a new one? Could I teach myself to fix a Red Ring Of Death and perhaps even fix it for others? If Microsoft can, why couldn't you?
Just don't take the blessing of technology for granted and dig into the magic. Who knows, you might be able to accomplish something you couldn't perceive possible. And that alone is a good thing for your self-esteem, but also your own wallet!

Chapter Five A - The Mundane Autopsy Part II

2010-03-10T19:44:00.003+01:00

One straight line home; you'd think we'd be done with this soon, but we won't. Oh, cruel faith it is, having the most revelations in a street where I wouldn't expect any sentient behavior to happen. No offense to the nice streets we have here, but apart from muggings and random vandalism, I've rarely seen anything happen there. Someone got run over recently, but is that food for thought? Perhaps later.
All this, to say our adventure now draws a near end and I am a mere 250 yards from making it safely back into my cave with my groceries.

It is about 50 yards in that the now second revelation hit me. Quite literally, actually, as I almost broke my neck tripping over my 'revelation'. Now behind me, stood word's crummiest covered city works. I kid you not when I say, this was filled up at random and leveling the floor was a thing of mere fiction. In all the times I've passed there since then, I forgot to take pictures. I hope I'll remember shortly (I did, look!), but I usually hurry through there. Although, I am now forever reminded of this atrocity, whenever I pass.
Again, worsening this fact, I encountered their second covered ditch mere yards away yesterday. You've guessed it; it was another calamity.

It had hit me, that I had seen this abomination's creation only the day before passing with my groceries. Right there and then, I put these 3 road workers in a very nasty box of judgmental prejudice. I saw them and immediately assumed they would do a horrible job and that I should avoid eye contact, lest I'd find myself in that hole. Since these 3 poor, young men hadn't done me any harm to prove me of such nasty ideas, I shrugged it off and continued walking.
Well, the next day, after my epiphany, I retract this shrugging. I even resent it a bit. I was right on the money on these lads and my gut instinct usually is. No idea why I suddenly give people the benefit of the doubt on this, but I'll try not to let it happen again.

Look, before you categorize me equally as swift, let me paint you the picture I saw.
The entire roadside was blocked off with construction tape and inside this tape, work was being done. When I say work, I mean of course that there was one dude working and the other 2 just looking about. Poor sap, doing everything by himself; but wait! Sap person was operating a small automated crane that did all the work. To look more bad-ass, he was arched over it and was smoking with no hands. you know how it looks; like a disgruntled cowboy riding a mechanical dragon. I bet he had a back tattoo, with a copulative remark towards my mother to top it off. While operating this at complete random, as it looked, the two others spent their time spitting to their sides. Followed by a hollow grunt or a despicable glare. It is amazing that these fellows get paid, but there you go. It is only out of respect for the hard, manual labor they should (!) be doing, that I couldn't bring myself to insult their demeanor further. Rest assured, it looked a lot worse.

So, here is where my thoughts intertwined with one another. How come people can judge a foreign any foreign person without a second thought, when these fine, white, young men don't get that downside?
I, for one, hold much more resentment towards these folks, than I could a random immigrant. The immigrant only appeals to our fear of the unknown, but otherwise, he has done nothing. These bastards though, they get away with this behavior and that pisses me off.

I noticed this at first when I worked in a social workplace. A place where lowlifes, like myself, with little to no career opportunity, can come together and be exploited. It's there I decided to further my studies, for that place was pure hell.
We all know the bullpoo expression that you have to do some work that sucks sometimes. Well, I wouldn't advise on it, because that experience has scarred me for life for numerous reasons. I'll try not to discuss it.
Getting back to the point, this place was filled with drug addicts, (ex)convicts and immigrants. But not adaptive immigrant type. The type that comes over here and expects you to learn some Arabic to communicate with him. I was the only person on the workforce who had never been to jail or hadn't serious warrants pending over him. These guys were as hardcore as they get. Getting to work high and keeping that high throughout the day, while as verbally abusive as they could get away with. It was like being thrown into a biker gang as a sweet, big breasted, 18-year old virgin. You were their bitch, whether you wanted to or not and things will, without a doubt, get rough.
Now, most of these elements were upstanding and not-so-upstanding white folk. Take away the fully tattooed folks and you couldn't tell the difference between them and more accepted members of society. And these junkies meant business on every aspect of life, beside work. Well, they only had one aspect beside that, so it wasn't hard, but still. You have to see dedication where it lies. And it lies in their drug addiction.

Let's dissect the mind of a drug addict for a second: He wants drugs.
Yes, that's the dissection, nothing more simple. This will result in the person in question to talk about drugs, every chance he gets. I have rarely had any conversation there, because there was only one topic: Weed. If they weren't talking about how nice weed was, they were talking about smoking it, when to smoke it, when to acquire it, etc. It was torture to endure, because as a sane person, talking about 1 (ONE) thing the entire day for 365 will cause head trauma.

Anyways, since their job didn't consist of smoking weed, they would go about it as half-assed as possible. Cutting corners so badly, it would be a disgrace to the term or just plain not working. That was fine by me though, I hate work too, but at the end of the day, I had to get something done. Not for the bosses; screw them. But to keep my sanity in that place, I had to have some sort of accomplishment, something to tell me my wasted days had some meaning. That meaning would quickly wither away in fall time, when raking leaves and picking them up would become a Sisyphean task.
But the most bothersome thing about the other workers attitude was, that they'd believe they were doing the best job ever. Sheer arrogance, but that's how most workers feel. They alone know the secret to fast and efficient work, when in fact it's due to their lack of work that they're done so fast. Also, they would berate others for their lack of work ethic. Their work was awful and filled with holes everywhere. No, really? You mean, just like yours?
Ok, I'm a bit of a perfectionist and my work progress has tendency to slow down because of it, but at least my job is done. I remember numerous times where I was asked to secretly go over spots other workers had 'done'. Secretly, because let's not forget, these people were (ex)convicts. Noticed the brackets? Yes, some were technically still serving a sentence in the penitentiary and the only reason they were left out, was due to this job. Still feel safe on the streets? There's murderers loose, because they can feint a work attitude. Just something to make you think.

Leaving that experience and coming back to the present, this is what upset me so much about the crappy hole. Not for my sake, but theirs.
I know what they thought when they were working and when they were done. They were convinced of another job well done and probably high-fived themselves on the matter. Fast and efficient; it's their motto and they put it to the test.
And here's what really pickled me. If they themselves would pass a similar hole along their way, they would scream bloody murder! They would rant viciously about what an outrage it is, that such work is tolerated and performed. To put the cherry on top, they would claim that they would've performed said task flawlessly!! Can you imagine that insult? They would do a perfect job and leave that hole in the exact same state! To this day, the irony fries my braincells. I cannot comprehend how people cannot see their own idiocy on this part and their blatant arrogance.
So it isn't for me or you that I had this thought, but for them! I was instantly brought back to those days where I would hear such drivel and irritate myself so much, I had a nervous breakdown. One which I never recovered from, mind you.
It's kind of like when people are driving. Éveryone thinks they're the master of the road skills and everyone else is an oaf, an absolute oaf! why are you cutting in like that? You can't pass me, I'll pas you! We've all seen it and you probably fashion it in your own vehicle. Don't say you don't, because you do. There are no exceptions to this, so don't insult yourself.
Anyways, these people to me, are the scum of the earth. I don't mind you being a failure, but if you boast about how great you are, I'm sorry, but you disgust me. I just can't comprehend where you would get the impression that your way is the correct way. When you get thwarted by any upright standard of society telling you otherwise, how can that not affect your judgment? I guess that, as always, ignorance is bliss.
As RATM put it best on this one: "If ignorance is bliss, then wipe the smile from my face".
My apologies if this sounded discriminating or even borderline racist. Once you have dealt with firsthand experience on the matter, I'll appreciate your input on this.

I have to move on; no sense in dwelling on the past. And so, I moved on, only to find out that a few yards further I would have another thought pop in my head. This last thought, however, is one I've had for the majority of my life. Starting a lot younger as you may think. The concept states: "people 'just in case' me on a regular basis". It is only until recently, I had noticed that all the wrong demographics do this. And so a mother and child on the street caught me in their sights and quickly proceeded into the act.
For those unfamiliar with it, let me draw an example and illustration. This is the idea that when you pass someone you deem to be untrustworthy, you cross the street or perform a similar action. I've seen extremely insulting things happen to me this way. From clutching your purse, to holding your children at your side, to crossing the street, to subtly trying to grab the mace from your pocket. Can you imagine a person that is so scared of your first expression, she's ready to drop everything she knows and resort to macing you if anything seems wrong? And I couldn't even go up to that person and tell her the mace is really unnecessary. I wouldn't be able to finish a sentence and I'd be on the floor with eyes filled with pepper-spray.
These things used to really upset me. I'd get really angry that people would discriminate you like that and you couldn't do anything about it. To this day, you can't file a complaint for this, you only get a message from the Board Of Equal Rights that people shouldn't act that way. Thanks, tattoo it on your foreheads, perhaps it will have more effect.

I'll give you an example I frequently mention to illustrate my point on this:
One day, a friend of mine and myself were just walking around town, completely sober. Worth the mention that we were sober, because that was not always the case. In a straight line forward, we were walking behind a mother and her young child at normal pace. At some point, the little girl turns around and notices me and her eyes flare up! Right after that she notices I am in the company of someone else and then all turns to hell! She runs towards her mother, clutches her leg and holds on for dear life. The mother, being totally surprised to see her child in fear of death, turns around to see what the matter is, to see us in her sights. She can not, for the life of her, get her child to release her leg and so she has to drag it along at which point we obviously pass her. Her gaze quickly turns to a sneer, as if we are to blame for her child's misfortune.
It's times like these, you don't know whether to stoop down to their level and give them a solid trashing or just sob away at the grave prejudice of it all. Luckily, in those times, we would forget after a few minutes and beers.

A while ago, I decided to have some fun with that concept. A friend of mine and myself were going home after an evening of discussing things. His car was parked in a more shady area of town, both literally and figuratively, so I decided to tag along. On the way to his car, I spotted a young woman in a dress and heels walking in front of us. I already knew what was going to happen when she'd notice me as I always walk around in a black jacket and hoodie. We're casually walking and talking towards his car when she does spot us and, yes sir, she picks up the slack. A woman fast-walking in heels makes a load of noise. Perhaps not the kind of attention you want to draw to yourself in that neighborhood, but it's your call, lady.
Of course, it's insulting to see, but this time I went with a different approach.
As she was so quick to label me, I decided to concur with her prejudice and fuck with this person's mind as much I could!
I took leave of my friend in the most loud, obnoxious manner I could and proceeded to 'follow' the wench. she takes notice of this fast and picks up the pace once more. But for all the treads she precipitates herself, I can take a few additional ones. I am a man with giant feet after all and it also helps I'm not wearing heels, but combat boots. Just following her isn't enough now, I'm forced to also act like a menacing presence, or at least what she believes to be menacing. Otherwise, I have no idea how to look menacing, so I just crouch a bit into my hoodie and puff myself up as much I can. this poor lady is terrified, you can tell, even from this distance. I'm still 100 yards away, but I'm closing in anyway!

The charade of picking up the pace goes on for a bit until she snaps. She now crosses a busy and very dangerous street without even blinking to any side. I'm a bit stumped as how one would think that's a good idea, but I'm still enjoying this too much. To make things completely obvious she also starts making small runs every time she looks back. Again, if I wasn't cracking up inside, I'd be gravely insulted.
She crosses another street in a similar fashion and still I'm gaining on her. Damn her heels, she must think! Why today, why did she have to wear them today, with a small dress? I'm also pondered by the idea, lady, it's not really summer at this point, more like November!

And here is where this story really gets sad: She's now completely desperate. So, as I'm approaching, she goes up a street with little to no lights in, what is basically, the end of civilization. I don't think I've ever seen anyone go there, except the actual residents of the street. And knowing the demographics of my neighborhood, I can rule out you're not one of them, lass. you're just making a fool of yourself. As I'm crossing the second street she previously did, she comes to her wits end. This woman has done everything she can think of to shake me off and I'm still drawing near. Her death must be near, just look at me! I will certainly have bad things in store for you; I'm in all black and out at 1AM in the outskirts of town.
She suddenly halts her jog and turns to a random house and randomly rings a bell. Now, if I were to believe you lived there, you could have at least fake taking out a key. But what she doesn't seem to realize is, that she's in a more obscure part of the neighborhood and this is where all those ambulances and police cars go to. Chances are now she has tried to get away from me, harmless gentleman, and rang the door of a potentially very bad person. One person who might think Christmas is early this year, as his present of a young maiden at his door has arrived. Oh boy, this is a turn of events I can revel in. Have lots of fun with your potential, serial rapist/drug-dealer!
And just when that happens, I turn the corner to proceed to take my trip home. At first, I walked slowly. So if she'd realized what she had done, she'd head my way and still see me there. Imagine being stuck in a deathtrap like that. But that thought changes promptly, as it is late, I'm cold and I'm hungry. I resume my usual pace and leave the poor, young lady to her fate and a few hundred yards later I'm home for a well deserved pizza. Pizza thoughts go in and lady dying thoughts go out, what a pleasant night.

To the lady that night: If you have pressed the correct button and valiant, young men have answered the door to rescue you and sweep you off your heels and dress, good for you. You have overcome all odds and upheld discrimination at it's best! You may be proud to run away from a completely harmless person. I'm sorry to have made you feel that way. I wish you will rethink about similar situations later in life, so others do not need to suffer your judgmental attitude.
If you have, by accident, rung the wrong bell and did end up in the clutches of a villain, you are now probably murdered, horribly raped or at least scarred for life. I'd also like to apologize for that, as I did mean no harm. Perhaps next time you'll think twice and take your chances with the guy who's at least a full foot smaller than you. A man who bears no physical or other threat, other than his more gloomy appearance. And a person who, even in the worst case scenario, you could've easily crushed like a bug, as he's a complete sissy-girl. If you're still alive of course, otherwise, my bad you're dead.

Anyways, I think it's a shame that only all the wrong people feel and act this way. Like the heels and dress or the mother and child or, more recently still, a young lady who crossed the street and then had to recross it, because she didn't have to be there.
I do not mind frail women and children crossing my path. Who I'd really like to stay clear of me, are the less savory types. The types these other people take me for.
Sadly, these thugs can see right through you in a split second or even less. As if they see you are wearing a disguise, it also seems to set them off. You're pretending to be a hard-ass like them, yet you walk the sissy-girl walk. Perhaps I should stop referring to myself as a sissy-girl first.
No matter; even in the most boastful of attitudes, these guys can cut through your bull like butter.
You might not think of a ruffian to be intelligent, but to each his own. What such a man lacks in common knowledge, he makes up for in sheer people skills. And by that, I mean he can coerce nuns to perform heinous acts on themselves. It might not be positive skills he possesses, but you should see intelligence where it manifests itself. Believe me, if you could do what they do, you would too. Algebra won't get you far in life. Possessing the ability to blackmail, violate, oppress and command dozens of terror-struck individuals might. Specially if you've also mastered getting away with that.
It's these kind of people I usually encounter. Hence, my life sucks, for I am not on the good end of that rope.

And with that thought, I head on home with my bag of groceries that seemed to be a distant memory.
But no more, for I am at my gates and my mind is once again completely devoted to pizza. Pizza is god and I shall absorb its vessel into me. Sweet, sweet vessel.

Good day.

Chapter Five A - The Mundane Autopsy Part I

2010-03-01T18:00:00.004+01:00

Back once again for the renegade master, D4 damager, with the ill behavior!
Sorry, my intros need some work, but still, 10 points for reference.

Anyway, I've finally found some more things to fatigue you with. I'd really like to be able to get 2 posts per week or some other, random, more productive number, but that's not going to happen. You see, I live a very dull and insignificant existence; shocking, I know. So, no stories about wild lady-boy prostitutes or base jumping Christ The Redeemer with your mother, naked. The only things that come close to any excitement are my past misadventures whilst intoxicated. And I either forgot most of them or I am too embarrassed to regale you with that, for now. My point is: It's hard to write pseudo-interesting anecdotes when naught is happening and you're basically a parasite doing nothing. Making matters worse, I tend to slack off and game for the largest portion of my existence, as we've covered plenty already.
Must resist writing about games! It's harder than it looks, for me.

In my quest to write about other things than gaming, I do what I think most writers do. I go out and observe things that I could use for inspiration. And when you're a shut-in, that's a seldom occurrence. When you're void of social skills, looks or other positive trait to enable such gallant behavior as showing your face outside, inspiration tends to flicker on the low end. However, this Friday was one of those rare exceptions where I venture out into the world. I would stay in, but fate would have it that I need nutrients and those are only found in stores and such. Scientists need to get started on the never-ending refrigerator posthaste for agoraphobics. It's hell for us to go out in the loud, scary world and dwell amongst others. I believe it's the loss of control over our environment that panics us the most. But for now, let's pick up all our courage and head out the door.

I'll warn you right now, my trip will not be more enterprising than your journeys out. So stop reading now if you don't feel like perusing through the mundane. Because, this is what this will be: A large dissection of mundane events.
At first, I was a bit reluctant to bore others with this, but somehow on this trip to the store and back, something opened in my mind. I suddenly had quite extensive and comprehensive articles forming in my mind about affairs I saw. It didn't start that way, mind you. Everything started halfway back home on one special circumstance I witnessed. In a few moments, a large portion of texts had formed and connected with each other on several situations. Some of those situations had already passed me and flashed back into my memory, like a good soul would store it and retrieve it from his episodic memory. A rare event for a person with virtually non memory, like me.My walk towards the store however, was routine as routine gets. Walk, cross the street, cross another street, cut through the square, mind traffic, yet more walking and then finally, store. Nothing happened that my brain would take the effort on remembering; not that it's such a workaholic on that part.
In the store, basically, the same thing happened. Except if you count the fact that this shop is too lazy to ever refresh their supply of vegetarian pizzas. Again, shocking; I eat a load of pizzas. My efforts on this healthy characteristic get constantly thwarted by this policy of only replenishing the stock when depleted. Also, there are only 4 pizza's, one in each container box. Four pizzas, amongst hundreds others! Who invented this monstrosity? I must remind myself to write a very angry letter to the ~~government~~
pizza company. Let's try not to dwell on this. I solved my problem by taking some nasty fungus pizza with me; a sad compromise that makes my stomach cry.

At the checkout, I was waiting for my turn with my cart, as malodorous simpletons in front of the row left their carts to get more groceries. Nothing out of the ordinary here. People always get half their groceries, go to the checkout and then go get the rest, so they don't have to wait their turn in line. It's a very discourteous and aggravating habit.
I had some time to kill, so I looked around for that time or people in substitute of it. Behind me stood a man with a pack of chocolates and some crackers, which would undoubtedly serve him for a royal meal. As he only had two items, I decided to let the good sir pass me in the line. And I didn't do it to put him in the danger zone of the malodorous oafs in front of me, as he also reeked quite bad. Also surprising, I had snickered at him earlier for wearing a tacky leather cowboy jacket, with fringes so large, it was a disgrace to God himself. But in the nature of common courtesy, I believe I was doing the right thing.

I'm a large partisan of the idea of common courtesy. In the late eighties, early nineties the notion of letting people pass you was still installed. But later on, it got replaced and somehow the exact opposite started to happen, as people let others wait in line for their own selfishness. It used to bother me quite a lot, as I used to be one of those customers who'd only buy 2 things maximum. I'd count the endless times I wouldn't be let through, while I waited for an elderly lady to check her brimming cart she'd never be able to store. Later on, I decided that if I wanted things to change, I'd have to show some initiative, instead of sulking quietly at the injustices of this world. And so started my concept of common courtesy. Selflessly I'd let people pass me, without once being returned the favor.Until some time last year, when I was out shopping with my girlfriend, someone let us pass. I was a bit awestruck and told the misses, who concurred with that occurrence. Since then, this has happened 3 more times, I think, which is a lot by my count.

This has triggered me to let people pass more and more, which leads us back to the checkout on Friday. I waved the cowboy forward and told him he could cut in line. To my surprise, the man even declined as he stated he needed more items from the checkout itself. I insisted one or two more items wouldn't waste my time anymore than now and urged him forward, which he was thankful for. It feels kind of good to try and instate some politeness back in a world so jaded, we all look out for number one. Even if only the gesture for now counts and doesn't start an upward trend; we take what we can get. Also, it made me notice the lady at the checkout reacting more friendly towards me than she would usually do.

At some points, these employees are so fed up, they unconsciously insult basically every customer. My girlfriend once noticed this, when the lady in question talked to her in broken English, because she believed my girlfriend was an immigrant that couldn't speak any Dutch. That's fairly harsh when you're not even remotely foreign.

So, if I can slowly start snowballing this tendency of more amicable behavior with simple actions, I'm all for it. It would make our environment less stressful to go through and would ultimately benefit us all. I urge anyone to do the same as good deeds set forth other good deeds. Who knows, perhaps we can swing the handle all the way back to the gentleman ages of the early twentieth century.

I have been taught to believe any insight fluctuates in a pendulum motion. Hence, in times with extreme boorish behavior, we are on the end of one swing. This will revert with growing momentum to a time where manners and decency will overtake the rude. And ultimately, we will go to the well known expression that history repeats itself. While I wait anxiously for everyone to get on the courtesy cart, let us press on.

Leaving the store with a good deed in hand, it is now time to go home and put all those nice ingredients in my tummy! And so, I walk on what should be the return trip of the routine, with the walking and crossing and all that. A few yards outside the store I see a young man leaving the house and marching in my direction. As he advances, I notice about 5 feet away that he's a foreign lad. From the moment my brain captures this, my heart rate heightens and sends a panic reaction to my paranoiac body. This continues until I am at least 20 yards away from him and am certain he is far away from me.This is something that happens quite frequently as I am, for one, a huge paranoiac and secondly, live in a social housing neighborhood that consists mainly of these kind of people. Don't read more into that statement than there is. All I'm saying is that these unfortunate souls are all as poor as I am and can't afford other housing. It is not my fault foreigners can't make as much money as others, it's not theirs either. Their chances get limited due to prejudice and that's a crying shame.Knowing all this, it really made me wonder: Why does my mind react this way? Why do I, and many others like me, immediately panic when faced with foreign lads?I felt quite guilty for that reflex and I state here and now I have never been assaulted or otherwise bothered in this neighborhood, the entire time I have been here. The only times I've felt discomfort, the people involved were as native as they could be. It makes me wonder where we get this preconception that all foreign boys are out to get you. I started to contemplate and, together with my knowledge from my social studies, I thought up a theory that I find just.

It's, again, unfortunate, but most encounters we get with foreigners, are bad seeds। The reason for this is multi-layered. We already stated that foreign people or people from that origin have a harder time creating a larger income. It's not their fault, I'm not saying they're lazy. In fact, I got proof of that yesterday, when I realized the clerk from the store across my house was the same person standing in the night shop next to me. That man had been working a double shift and that was the second time I noticed that to happen here. I couldn't spend my entire waking day serving people behind a counter, just to get some money, how easy that job may sound. This smaller income also means that they will have less to work with. Result: Smaller, cruddier houses and less luxuries, with probably more people to support.

For everyone to have their space, children often go play in the streets, instead of at home, so to not disturb the hardworking adults and possible elderly living in the house. At a young age, these children are put out into the street with little to no control, nor supervision. Another factor of being poor is that these kids get bored. You can only do so many things on the streets with no money or supplies to entertain oneself. It makes them easier prey to look for alternatives that might not be legal for them to get their kicks. This also means that they must face their frustration of being poor at a constant rate, as people with more means than them pass them and possibly look down upon them. Believe me, this is a horrible feeling to go through every single day.
Being more vulnerable to crime, they're also easily approached by older peers to do their evil bidding, be it under pressure or not.

Most kids on the street also suffer from setbacks in their education. Again, it's not completely their own faults, most of the harm is done by others. When going to school, they might have problems grasping a language or a concept that seems foreign to them. Most schools do not bother with aiding them to overcome the obstacle and place that responsibility in themselves or their parents. It's one of the most ignorant things you can do, because they will not be able to cross that bridge themselves and neither will their parents. Otherwise it would not be a foreign concept, if they were taught so at home. Unfortunately, this means at age 12 they will already have built up a setback so vast, they will not be able to recover from it. Can you imagine what it must feel like to know you will not excel at age 12? It must be a crushing thought, if you are able to grasp it.

Another problem with their education is that, even if they get stimulated at school, they will not be aided at home. Most parents do not care for a (higher) education and offer no support or backing for the child to go on. They have not had those chances in their lives and those who aren't bittered about that fact, just can't offer any help to problems they, themselves, do not understand. As family is an important factor in most cultures, they will willingly cast aside the education to follow the path their parents would want. It's a shame, but without that early backing from backing and a minimum of support, it will not change.

So, now they have no chance of succeeding at life, probably suffer from self-esteem issues from being let down constantly and are bored. It doesn't take a scientist to see that this mix largely enhances the chances of violence or other crime. They're angry, young kids and weren't taught to control this into something more productive, so what do you expect will happen? I don't mean to condone it, but it some cases, we forget to look at both sides of the pictures.
I would like to indicate at this point that I severely hope not to come off as judgmental in any way in this past comment or the following.

This leads me to another big factor for our nested fears: The media. Yes, I know, what you're thinking, not another media bash. I fear it will involve a slight whooping, sorry. Every time we see a crime acted by a foreign looking person, the media tends to make the sap look as bad as they can. I'm not saying they're not bad men, hell, in some cases they are the monsters depicted. Let's just say not every hoodlum is a terrorist; some people are just pissed. In the spirit of sensationalism, we also like to drag out the pictures as long as we can, to really smear that fear in your unconscious. If some upstanding white boy commits a crime, it's a shame, but after a few days, it's history. If however, you are not so upstanding, we'll do all we can to smear your photo's, name, house and any other undisclosed information so long and profusely, you will not be able to forget. It will be everywhere; in every magazine, web page, newspaper, TV show and other media you can think of, usually in the most pejorative manner one can think of.
It reminds me of some video's that the papers and news channels brought out of Ronald Janssen of an attendance he made to a barbecue. Justified by mentioning he wasn't as distraught as he had mentioned in his confessions, this was completely inappropriate and left me feeling appalled at the standard level of journalism in my country. I don't care what monster a man is, you don't dig through his personal, private affairs and show them in the public light. Specially not if it isn't relevant to any aspect of the case. It made me feel worse for the murderer than for the media portraying it.

Another media trend I do not like, is the glorification of fad and superficial entertainment. This is more a personal note, I believe, as there will be plenty of you already sucked in and loving this filth. It does however not aid a youngsters cause to see how rap and r&b music can venerate stupidity, violence, misogyny and wastefulness, amongst others. Don't get me wrong, plenty of other genres that have that as well and also, there is plenty of good rap out there, be it meaningful or not. But none of these genres get the widespread attention than a, let's say, Kayne-douchebag-royalty-West or Katy Perry. You might think Cannibal Corpse is pure filth on tape, but they don't have an airplay of 5 hours a day on every major network. Poor Marilyn has to take all the blame by himself for going commercial enough for TV. Hey, what do you know? Another reference towards Manson; soon enough people might link me to a school shooting or such.
Anyway, the glorification doesn't stop only at the songs, but spreads itself to a large portion of the overall culture. Resulting in your ten year old daughter walking around in hoochie mama clothes and stiletto heels. Although, the parents are really to blame on this one; educate your damn kid! Pardon my French.

Remember how this post was just me going to the store and back? Those were some nice memories, let's get back to that for a line or two. I let the guilt of my panic reaction wash over me and proceeded home. All went well as nothing occurred for a while, but then it happened. The one thing that set forth this slew of worthless anecdotes I now annoy you with. As I was on my way back from the store, I proceeded to cut through the square in the opposite direction. In front of me was a young woman with child, pushing a pram about on the side of the street, where it's flatter for the infant to have a smooth ride. So far all seemed normal to me and I proceeded my way home. In her right hand a cell phone went off and so she looked at it, pushing the pram blindly forward. Again, I didn't think much of it; I myself walk bits blind when I receive a message. Looking sporadically at the road will warn you well in advance of any problem ahead. But then as she had read the message, she nudged the stroller forward, releasing it with both hands, to have those hands free to send a text. My mind was blown!Now, of course, you and I both know the child was never in any real danger, but that was not what had me stunned for a second.
What stupefied me was the gesture itself. What would drive one to push away, what should be your most sacred creation ever made and blindly ignore it, while it rolls onto an intersection? Yes, we were at an intersection and on top of that a parking lot exit. Where did I miss the moment a text might, even for a second, be more important than your offspring? I didn't even write it off as an exception, because years back, this would not even have entered the mind of any mother. It was inexcusable.

To make matters worse, I witnessed the same thing two days ago, only even worse.In the previous case the child was not ever in any realistic harm. Though it was a bad mother move, at least there was no big probability of anyone getting hurt. Perhaps a slight one and that's more than you can afford. But in the case of two days ago, it was just blatant bad parenting.
Right of the bat, you could see this land-cow was a bad mother. Am I saying fat people are bad parents? Heck no, they're usually great parents. In this case however, the person in question had noticeably let go of any dignity and had stopped caring at all. It's amazing she was even taking care of children, be it poorly. Therefore it was of little surprise she had about 5 brats following her and her friend was an equally horrid apparition. I'll try not to bash the lady on appearances anymore, it's not nice. Let's trash her on her skills instead.
We were on opposite sides of a crossing when we met. I was slowing down and looking on both sides to see for traffic. She and her troop would have none of it and she lunged forward with one pram and some kids. Other children and her other stroller had not received the hasty message and were left behind. My mind was blown once more as I saw said person leave her one pram behind to retrieve her other lost pram together with some kids. All this on a very busy street with oncoming traffic. And here's where the apparent danger sets in. The streets here are really crooked and apart from leaving her own kin to their fates, the one stroller now was rolling back onto the street. She had to scramble back to recover the infant, so it would not get hit by any traffic. A sight to behold, knowing she probably rolls faster than she walks. I did it again, didn't I?

You could say I hold my part of the blame for not going after the carriage myself and the thought crossed my mind. However, I'm not the one responsible for her little monsters to survive. I wouldn't care a lot if they all got hit by her misbehavior. Out of common courtesy I would hold my "I told you so" and helped them if they had been injured.
Anyway, this flagrant disregard for her own family's safety together with the previous incident made me realize to which extent humanity truly is jaded। Somehow along the way, we have put more importance in our own interest, over all other odds. Now, the concept of selfishness isn't new; we all take care of ourselves before others. But it has taken such pervasive proportions that we now fail to care for anything else, even if it holds the key to our genetic legacy. As long as we're immediately satisfied in every aspect possible, all is fine and damn everyone else. Freud would be proud to see our Id growing rampant; I however like some restraint. I am still baffled how you can be deemed fit to educate children and then do something remotely that bad; even once! It is utterly inexcusable and that's coming from me! I'm fairly sure I would make a horrible parent. My logic factor is too strong for it and my aversion towards ignorance too big to be able to bring forth a normal, rational and mentally healthy child.

I didn't contemplate this on my way back home from the store, because I had pizzas to eat, pronto! It was time to move on from the intersection and head onto the last straight line home।In this straight line, I encountered more things to speculate about as my mind had just been opened। That and there were some outright strange or, at least, unusual things going to come across my path। These things will be told some other time. But rest assured, they will; for I want my pizzas in my belly, not in writing limbo!
Good day.

Chapter Four - The Apology

2010-02-18T22:06:00.008+01:00

Ok, I admit it, it hasn't been the overwhelming storm of posts I had first hoped for and anticipated, but that has an array of reasons. First off, writing requires some time. Not that I lack it, I just lack concrete writing time. And when you try to create posts longer than five sentences with more to say than just "Avatar w00t", that will eat some time off you. I estimate every post I make took me at least an hour or five to make and that's putting it lightly. In reality, that will be more than double. Finding the appropriate words to clearly express what you think and mean will also take some time. And all those together will have to happen at the right time, specially for someone like me who doesn't take notes during the day when the ideas roll in. Bastards, coming over unexpectedly, not giving me the proper time to prepare. The problem is that not all the free time I have can be spent writing and not all that time is in one piece. Actually, most writing is done is small parts, which annoys me, because I usually get most my ideas at night when I'm in bed. I think that's a common problem, but it does slow my progress quite a bit. Which leads us to the next problem.

Social obligations. Believe it or not,I do have a life outside of this, be it an ever so small and insignificant one. I have few friends, a girlfriend, hobbies, projects, family and all those people expect you to spend some time on them. Unbelievable, I know. And not only is this a vast portion of all my time, it also happens at the most random times and usually intertwines with each other. This to make things extra fun and difficult for me. For instance, I work out; again unbelievable.

Anyway, to complete my program there, I need to do about 2 hours of cardio and more than 2 hours on toning exercises. Take into account daily preparations, crunches and whatnot and that easily amount to 7 hours gone. Gone, I say! As that all happens at random times and days all time before and after that can also be scratched. I need to get ready and I need to shower and rest afterwards, or at least try.
Somewhere around there I need to feed myself and make sure that there will be nutrients in the fridge the next time I visit my close friend. And when I say my fridge is a close friend, it's because he's a few feet away from me at all times. So, in order to keep a healthy relation with said pal, I will have to take a few trips to the store.
There's a load of things one needs to do to maintain a lifestyle including things and people around him. Going to shop with the misses, catching up with friends, checking mails and responding said mails, making sure your arrangements are in order; the list goes on and on horridly. If you subtract all this, you'll keep about 2-3 hours of writing time snippets throughout the day. Good luck pooling all your thoughts together in those 10 minute snippets and not using some to go to the can. And no, I don't write this while on the john; I'm all business there.

But the first, foremost and most obvious reason I've been avoiding for a while now is the most simple one you can muster: PROCRASTINATION! Boy, I love that word almost as much as I hate the meaning of it.
I could've gone on about how everything in life vehemently tries to fight me away from my keyboard and cry about the unfairness of it all. But the plain fact is: Once I'm at my keyboard, I'll usually find something else to do than write about things 4 people read. Herewith, I'd like to get on my knees and thank these people for taking the time to read my droning discourse, about things I doubt anyone connects with.
Also, I have the attention span of a dead rat and I'll get distracted by anything shiny at the drop of a hat. I'll also get distracted by the drop of a hat, as the expression would otherwise seem weird.

Another main reason for this procrastination should be clear to previous entry readers: I have a game addiction. Please don't judge me, I like gaming more than real life, it's true. The problem is, the real world often sucks (10 points for reference). In game land, even though you encounter countless frustrations, everything you do leads to imminent hero status. Win the cup, slay the dragon, save the maiden or beat the last, mind-boggling level; it doesn't matter what you do. In the end you'll ultimately feel accomplished, or at least you should. As I'm a fan of old games, I had to bite the bullet a few times on that one; "Thanks for playing", kiss my hairy bum.
The point is, spending time in game land is the best, healthiest escapism I can think of, until Virtual Reality kicks in and we'll all be doing the Arnold like in Total Recall. And if it isn't the best time of your life, you can always shut it off with the flick of a button and go venture in some other awesome world. Don't you wish your life was like that? One second, you're a Grey Warden slaying Darkspawn to save Ferelden and once you're tired of that, boom! You're suddenly in a giant Mech, blasting away and shredding metal. The possibilities are limitless and only an inch away.

I'm also quite a music fan and that also takes up a large portion of my time, some in escapism, some not. But where music is the mood, a game is a complete setting, with tunes and all. Songs do a nice job to whisk you away and that works specially well in the great outdoors. You can put on the ol' Choking victim cd and stare into oblivion, but I've had to deal with a few problems several time while doing so.
You see, the great outdoors stays where it is, whether you choose to be a part of it or not. So you can stare into nothingness with the headphones blaring, zombie walking your way to your destination, but you can't escape from it fully. At some point you'll have to notice your surroundings or risk getting run over by numerous life choosers, as I've frequently had. Not a pleasant experience to get torn away from your dreamworld by some cyclist, when you've been shoving "Get This" by Slipknot down your cranium for 20 minutes.
At some points I switch off the more violent songs out of fear of insanity outbursts. If your fantasy world depicts nothing but beaten and bludgeoned corpses, suddenly getting ripped from that view might warp your reality sense. And I already had none of that sense to begin with. It's fine to think about tearing apart the irritating youngsters in front of you in the bus, it's more inappropriate to suddenly do it. You don't want poor Marilyn to get harassed again, do you? Neither do I; he's such a good lad. Now, look me in my brand new eye!

And before you go all hardcore on me by saying you face your life head-on, stop for a second as I reveal to you this universal truth: Everyone on this planet is inclined to escapism! As 7 Seconds once simply, but perfectly put it: We all try cutting corners, we all prefer the ease. Whether it is speeding in traffic, watching films or tv, having a beer, conversations with friends or anything to take you away from your dull life. You don't like life anymore than I do and want to get over the crappy bits as fast and straightforward as you can.
My crappy bits are just so much more numerous and absolute. Anything I do in real life leads to imminent failure, as I, myself, am a failure. At least, in strange irony, that serves it's purpose marvelously. But it's also why I choose to put off those things as long as I can.You could contend the fact I finish some games and must ultimately do some things correct, but no. There's usually such a large, wide amount of failure proceeding this completion, the finish was a mere matter of probability. You could commend my dedication, but again, there's nothing deserving of it. I keep failing until Lady Chance spins the wheel on the odd factor that somehow finishes the game. But since I'm used to ominous failure, I still prefer the digital kind I can trial and error my way out. There's no way I can hit the reset button after decapitating the jerk who scolded me at my job interview. Not that I'd want to reset such righteous actions.But isn't it awesome to do whatever you want to and then drop it when it gets dull? Games will do that for you, sir. Games have it all!

I find it odd that this suddenly turned out to be another game post, but there must've been remnants of the previous one stuck in my brain goo. Oh yes, now I remember why! Apologies all around for the Alzheimer-esque, senile contemplation.When I finished Dragon Age and intended to swiftly breeze through my previous post, my brother sent me a message. Apparently, his brain hadn't processed I wouldn't be desecrating his house anymore and he asked to come over. Being the wonderful human being I am, I promptly did and told him I finished the game. I then asked him to suggest another game I could use as a means to rape his generous hospitality. We both drew a blank on that one however and I suggested something that should tie together all previous bits about procrastination and game addictions. I suggested, for several reasons, we'd have another go at playing Civilization together.For one, it's both our favorite game and we played it once before, but without the add-ons. Also, that would give me a chance to raid my own home and be semi-available there for other people and purposes. I'd still be locked firmly in my chair, but I'd be there in the flesh. You might even have the odd chance of asking me a question in between turns.

There's a major problem, however, with playing Civilization: It's the mother of all unaccessible games! You can't play it for an hour, you have to play it for at least 6 hours a day or you might as well try to start your own civilization in real life.But since I love to procrastinate professionally, that doesn't faze me at all. And so started my serious delay on any other thought I might have had. Truth be told, there isn't much room for other thoughts when you're in a 15 hour lasting game session. That's right, 15 hours straight. Well, straight is relative. There are odd minutes in which you try and prepare and consume food while you play, but I'll be damned if I use the restroom while my turn is active! But putting in these kinds of hours means every game session postponed my writing with at least one full day. Together with everything else, I might add. It's hard to feed yourself fast and efficiently when your dishes have been stacked to the ceiling and your fridge has been raided a few days in a row. Thank pixie sticks, laziness also breeds creativity. You find the most appetizing, leftover, microwavable bits you can find and shove them onto a tray you're not even sure will be safe to prepare. No time for major concerns or health warnings though, my legions need me on the virtual fronts of Sparta! This is what life feels like in a continuous LAN-party where you're the only guest.

In conclusion, don't blame me for my lack of material. Blame Sid Meier and his marvelous, juicy brain from where he emitted this gift of gods from. Were it not for him and his Pirates game back on the Commodore 64, who knows? I might have become an accountant or a corporate slave in a classy suit with a bluetooth headset.
Damn you, sir Meier, for all the wonders you have created! Please send me retributions for ruining my life immediately!
I'll accept all games and related goodies and merchandise you have to spare, together with a signed photograph of you, be it in bikini or not.

PS: In an ironic twist, this blog was created in less than 3 hours.

Chapter Three - Intermezzo

2010-02-08T15:47:00.003+01:00

This is a post I wrote a while back, somewhere else. This was one of the main things that triggered me to start this blog a few days later, I believe. I just wrote this to kill some time and at the same time clear my head a little, really. The time of this publication is set at 16 December '09 and at the time the show with The Carrier (Usa) and Dead Swans (Uk) had not taken place yet.I would like to state beforehand that this doesn't necessarily state the opinions of everyone I'm involved with. It is more of an assumption I have of the opinions, based on conversations throughout time we have had with each other.If you have heard other things from other people, feel free to believe what you will; these are however my beliefs. Enjoy the read or don't or plain skip it, it's all the same to me.
You'll have your filler, sir.

In my "spare time" I set up shows and this for a numerous amount of reasons.

1) First and foremost reason; where I live people don't have Hardcore shows to go to and that's a crying shame. In a city inhabited largely by students (about 50K +-) you have an insane amount of disco's and dance bars and that sort of crap I wouldn't ever dream of going to, but oddly enough you only have 1 (decent) venue to set up shows and the shows set up there are usually god awful. I won't go into details, as bashing people trying to set up a show isn't needed nor polite. Therefor me and a few friends wanted to start bringing bands we like to our town and set up shows, hereby associating our town's name with hardcore music. As it should be! (at the moment, we're establishing that name, so hurray!)

2) Hardcore shows are the bomb. Nothing like a good sing along and if on top of that there's some dancing and pile ups, we're golden. The vibe is usually effin' great during shows. Drink, don't drink; dance, don't dance; act a fool, stay cool, it doesn't matter, everyone essentially gets along and enjoys themselves. We make that happen and that makes me feel good, even if we put in way too much time,money, work and effort in it and run ourselves ragged. Queer as it sounds, when people at our shows have smiles on their faces, we've done an awesome job!

3) Too much people in this country setting up shows to make a profit. Though I understand you like money, hard currency is the furthest thing from our minds. In fact, we've always ended up paying a small amount and when we made some profit, we gave it away to the bands. Why? Well, for one, they just need the money. Secondly, we just wanted to do the show for them and for us; they've earned that money, they have the right to keep it. Promoters here are too hell bent on trying to fill their coffers, I think. Setting up mediocre shows at questionable prices or big shows at stupendous prices. You have however the rare occasion where an entrance fee is more than justified, until you see the amount of sponsoring comes back to them, ultimately still raising the bar of the profits.
Is it wrong? No, not really, I understand money is the biggest motivation for most people on this planet! It's just not how we roll and I'm content with that.

4) We're all musicians and we like the idea of doing shows, so we try and help as many musicians ourselves to do what they love doing: Playing shows.

For those reasons and more, I spend most of my day, every day on Myspace and such prospecting, checking things out, reading numerous amounts of things, contacting people, checking even more things, checking mails, answering mails, etc. I get no payment in any way for it, I actually get chewed out for not putting those hours into payed labor.
I must be out of my mind.
Good day.

Apparently when you type in "Hardcore Leuven", one of the only vids you'll find, is me singing poorly together with my friends, Second Base.
That's one of the only footage there is, together with a set from my heroes CJTC, but they've asked me not to refer to them, so I won't (fully..).
I'm drunk while singing, it was a show together with Belgian Asociality, so it's justified, damn it!

Chapter Two - Time For Adventure

2010-02-08T15:46:00.000+01:00

Yesterday, after putting in weeks of professional game-time, I've finally finished Dragon Age: Origins for Xbox 360. And when I say professional game-time, I mean literally putting in a day's work through playing video games. Here's the thing: I do not own an Xbox 360, I don't have that kind of money. My brother, however, does. And when said brother is away at work, that Xbox just sits there in his room doing nothing, completely neglected. It must be a crime against humanity, as he's almost never home. He does however justify this by spending every free minute of his life either gaming or watching Animé. Sometimes even epically combining both in some sort of awesome coolness trip.

Previously, while I was out browsing Gamespot for the usual old games I play, I kept coming across all sorts of references towards this game called Dragon Age: Origins. That made me recall this ranting spree my brother went on for several weeks, regarding this game called Dragon Age: Origins. At some point he asked me for my original Baldur's Gate collection. Something to do with the makers from Baldur's Gate making a new game called Dragon Age: Origins. Those factors combined made me crack at some point and decide to look into that game. Usually I try not to mess with newer games, as I can't play them anyways and so I get frustrated marveling in their glory. But since the buzz around it was so big and my brother's opinions about games are fairly correct 9 out of 10 times, I just had to go take a look.

What I saw there was nothing extraordinary as all the hypes mentioned, but then again, hypes usually tend to set you up for imminent let downs. I did however see a new BioWare game and I've always enjoyed playing those frantically. More so, the whole reason I bought an Xbox, days prior to the next-gen release, was because I was playing a small bit of Jade Empire and KotoR II at a friends house. It got me hooked so badly, I couldn't think about anything else. I just had to go out and buy me those games. My addiction was so acute, I even had to go out of town to find a copy of Jade Empire there that very day.
The following weeks, I spent all day and night going through just about every possible playthrough in both games. And the best part was, it didn't even get dull.
That is the reason why a new BioWare game might not be the most surprising new game made, but it does deserve looking into. It's basically the same formula in a new package, but it's one hell of a winning formula. For those of you gladly battling alcohol addictions, consider it like a new beer. It's just some beer, but beer is always awesome and you'll always have some room for it.

Back to my original point: After weeks of hearing from all sides how good this game was, I formed a cunning plan. As my brother has a job and I don't, there's an 8 hour window where the Xbox is used as an expensive paperweight and I could step in to save the day. And by saving the day, I mean usurp his console and basic hospitality by raiding his house while he is gone. I pitched him this idea of interim gaming and he was cool with it. The only thing I had to do was to wake up on time for him to go to work and leave me in his house. That time, however, was 5 AM! To my amazement, it is possible to wake up in time, given the proper motivation. After 26 years of getting late for just about any morning appointment I have ever had, there I stood in complete zombie mode at my brother's door.
And so began my job as a professional gamer. Starting at 5 AM, I would take a 5 minute, snack break at 8 and have half an hour for lunch at 11, followed by a quick snack break around 2 PM. Like I said, I was taking this seriously; this was my job, not some silly toy!

During these weeks of intense gaming, I discovered a few things.
For one, gaming makes you exceedingly lazy, yet productive towards your game. You'll pool all your non-game related tasks into 1 single sweep of actions. For instance, you'll combine going to the bathroom, drinking, following up daily tasks such as mails, cooking and eating all into one and do them in less than 10 minutes if possible. Because everything you do will make the clock tick closer towards that deadline where you have to return to your mundane life, instead of rocking it in Ferelden.

Secondly, this setting of professional gaming will make you plan ahead, even when not actively playing. I was, for example, planning what I could eat the next day while playing and what dish would take the least time to prepare and then consume, while still being nutritious. A trait that wasn't too healthy, I think, as I would usually eat pasta, sandwiches or reheated food, but nothing else. And usually I take time to cook some nice dinner; but not anymore! There was questing to be done and I had a Blight to stop!
Also, any common courtesy you might have had, swiftly went out the door. I'd wake up barely in time to show up at my brother's (hey, it's still 5 flippin' AM!) and on bad days, I'd forget most of my food and drinks. And instead of wasting time to go fetch them, I'd just loot his fridge and cupboards. Once the game was on, there was no brother or hospitality, there was only the Grey Wardens and my nemesis the Archdemon.

But the main reason I'm writing this, is because throughout my second week of gameplay, I started wondering something. That's after 40 odd hours if you're keeping count, by the way.
I wondered how huge gaming companies would market games such as these to a big audience. Granted, there's a nice following of fans for any game that has references to Baldur's Gate. But I'm guessing this game has a huge budget and even if it's brought out on all platforms, it has to sell to a large amount of people to return that investment. Sure, there will be revenues also to be had in related merchandise. But that can't topple it, can it?
The reason why I wondered this, is because I can't perceive Dragon Age being played by a large amount of people. I mean, even if you play professionally, like I did, for 8 hours a day, it will take you about 2 weeks to complete one playthrough. the other playthroughs might be a little faster, but will still take in a sizable amount of time. Most people don't have that much time to spend everyday on video games. Kids have to go to school, do homework and possibly have some other hobby. Adults should have a considerable larger amount of responsibilities, such as work, college, groceries, housekeeping and other hobbies. Pensioners might have a butt-load of time, but do you see them picking up Dragon Age and going all epic on you? I'd have to see it to believe it.
And if you don't play for at least 4 hours a day, it would just take way too much time to ever have a chance at completing it. That might be fine to try that once, but I don't think you'll enjoy failing at games for long. In all, you won't be picking up an RPG you can't make time for.

So how would a casual gamer be convinced to pick up Dragon Age or any other adventure game? It's fine if you're a hardcore gamer. You know you don't have a date on Saturday and you'll be in your dungeon hacking away at the Darkspawn, possibly taking a break to pwn n00bs on some online game. But someone with friends, hobbies and essentially a life can't really afford to stow themselves away with their console to play out some fantasy with magical creatures. If nothing more than the lack of time, you'd quickly get stigmatized as some sort of nerd. Or a brand I usually get: a no-lifer.
That's right; enjoying video games means you lack the skills to go out and live your own life. Funny how that applies to only certain games and it doesn't apply to other things like films and books. Even more odd to me, as I think books and films can only direct you to one scripted ending in one track. Whereas in games, you'll have to work your way towards it and in cases like Dragon Age: Origins you'll have multiple outcomes based on your decisions during your experiences. That means that every action will affect the outcome and have different consequences based on those prior actions. Kind of like real life?
Surely, sir, you must jest? No, I do not jest! Get your head out of the prejudice box that generations before you have placed gamers in! Think for yourself! Is that so hard? Video games have advanced exponentially since PONG and we have, at the very least, added a few more lines to the screen...Excuse me for the rant, it needed saying.

I'll grant you the fact that if you're going to play a role-playing game, you're going to have to put some serious effort in it. And yes, that will diminish the time you'll have left for other things, if you are interested in the game enough. But is that so bad to have a heartfelt interest in something? Why is it necessary to berate gaming? I don't see society scolding people who passionately read "The Catcher In The Rye" and I'm quite sure that book takes a while to finish as well. Although, in all fairness, people might have protested it in the fifties, but certainly not to such great lengths. I'll kindly leave the whole "games make people to bad things" argument aside (for now).
But the moment someone picks up an adventure game of any sort that takes place in some fantasy world and takes more than 5 hours to complete, people have the sudden notion you have no life. Because you have no interest in "normal" things. I don't recall being asked if I did have other interests though.

I think that is why racing, sports and other games are so much more popular and RPG/Adventure games are shoved into the nerd corner. They're just a lot more accessible to a large crowd. No real thinking or effort is required to enjoy a good racing game. You can pick it up for 5 hours or 10 minutes, whichever works best for you. Whether you're playing a quick match against Barcelona or trying to win the championship, you can play as long as you want, blow off a little steam and then go on with your natural life. Also, there's no need to read up on a lot of background and story or adapt to anything; you know all there is to know already. You know Henri and all his mates and what they do best; just put on the game and go!
It's that accessibility and recognizability that appeals to the masses. But it's also the factor that makes it acceptable to do as a pass time. You can do it, because everyone does it, that's normal. Nothing cooler than tuning cars or beating the living crap out of someone in a quick bout of Tekken.
Although I largely disagree with that statement myself, I don't think role-playing games as we know them now will change that opinion. Even if you raise the recognition towards it and make everyone participate in a more modern form of RPG, you'll still need some sort of knowledge of the background before playing. More traditional stories, like in a faraway, Middle Ages setting however, will need more work to be able to include everyone. Because, even with all other factors taken care of, you'll still need to put in the hours and putting hours on games equal nerd, we've established that by now.

I, however, enjoy the frequent time I spend whisked away in Ferelden fighting for either good or bad, but mostly good. That's just the kind of person I am. I can always come back another time and do a thoroughly evil playthrough a second time around, for giggles. Usually though, I'll try to make the right decision or the one I find best at the moment. Surprisingly, in Dragon Age: Origins, that might not always be the best way to go. A nice twist I might add, it makes you think outside the box a little. Good choices aren't necessarily good and vice versa. It made me think of a mission in Grand Theft Auto where they'd lead you to doing something the mission did not call for and still have a positive outcome. That made me think people should implement that a lot more in games and have people do things their own way.
It's yet another argument I have for keeping me locked in the game for a long time, because it feels lifelike and it's an epic adventure. What more could I ask for?
Who wouldn't want to live out an adventure like that?

And maybe that's how companies would appeal to a large audience. Focusing on how awesome your adventure will be and how it's so real, you'll think yourself there. Without mentioning the time needed to the larger audience, you'll have more people wanting to experience the trip. At least, that's how I think they could market it, because that's what it's all about: the experience. Only, that brings back one of the original problems, that is the time needed. Like mentioned, you might trick people once or twice, but if they don't put in the time, they'll stop coming back at some point. Also, you'll again revert to the stigma of a dungeon dweller, playing hours on end instead of boozing it up with mates. Or trying to pick up chicks, whilst trying not to vomit in their cleavage you're immersed in. You know, the simple things in life.
Perhaps it might fancy a few by mentioning it's worth your time investment to see it through. Seeing your efforts come to fruition and all that. Or by appealing to it's customized ending or perhaps enticing people to save the world, doing the right thing. Marvelous graphics, lots of flash; all seem plausible solutions, but can't really deadlock me into believing a casual gamer might want to pick it up. If someone has the answer to this question, I'd sure like to look into it.

Until I've figured that out, I've come up with a possible solution to make role-playing games accessible and acceptable by the masses:
Instead of making elaborate epic adventures, which are really compelling and use all their space in storytelling and durability, you make them short and fast. Doesn't sound like much on the first sentence, does it? Hear me out.
Normally you have one set world, with many regions, creatures, etc. Instead of doing that, you save all the disc space on creating a completely random world each time. And in addition you try and randomize as much you can concerning equipment etc. Let's say you make 3 tiers that way, so more traditional players can still pick up on it. But you don't want to stretch it out too much, you want as much room for creating a unique and thrilling experience each and every time. A problem with some games is that they want to be too much of all possible options and end up being poor in all areas.
Let's say 1 playthrough could be done in less than 10 hours and is filled with action constantly. Of course you'd need to keep some short cut scenes for each playthrough and preferably as many endings as you possibly can. Even if they differ in only one area or so each time. That way you're certain you have a large array of endings to keep the player coming back. If you don't focus on having realistic graphics, you could do a lot this way.
One more problem you'd have to take care of is the traditional level system. In a game that takes less than 10 hours, it'd be ridiculous to have your character level 30 times or so. So I propose having a simple upgrade system you can use. Perhaps even so simple you can activate it while playing and don't need to go to a character screen, but not necessarily. It would however keep you in the action screen.
The action on itself will more than probably work best in hack and slash method, but I don't see why you can't implicate as much skills and spells in there, if they're all custom to a wide array of characters anyway. Don't forget, each playthrough is completely different in area and story, so taking a different character each time won't become boring. It will feel like a completely different game each time.

In short I'd make it an experience that resembles a few existing games. You'd take the random levels such as in Diablo or in much lesser extent the Disgaia series, if you're familiar with them. You'd take the unique experience of such as Gran Turismo for your character, customizing it a different way every time with loads of possible characters to choose from. A battle system that resembles that of Final fantasy 12 and action packed like a mass zombie game. Cell shaded or more cartoon-styled graphics to keep the framerate up and the disc space low. It might not work in a medieval setting, but I think games like Odin Sphere and such look amazing, even in 2D and they probably take a lot less room to create.
Customized cut scenes and endings as many as you can muster; at least 300 cut scenes, each about 10 seconds or so and at the very least 30 endings. Depending on the length possibly a lot more. You don't need an ending of 5 minutes and a credit reel of 30 minutes. That can all be done quickly, if you want.
Voice acting? Why not; Dragon Age: Origins seems to have a massive amount of voice overs and still has room for a giant world. Just think of what that could mean for my idea! I think the voice acting will be much more efficient to keep the action flowing, instead of having to read a boring text box.

If anyone has heard of such similar games in existence, feel free to pass me a line, though I doubt it would be done in the extent I'm envisioning it, as I have such a large view on this game. It felt a bit lengthy to jot it all down though. I think these types of games would open the door for the casual gamer to gradually get cracking on an epic adventure and join us in our nerd world. It would be awesome to puke in a woman's cleavage at a bar, while you were discussing how you tried to free Morrowind from it's evil burden.
Until then, this boy with a leg tattoo of Dungeons and Dragons will bid you good day.

Chapter One - The Soliloquy Begins

2010-01-23T20:54:00.007+01:00

My farts smell weird.
With that statement I'd like to open up the platform that will be my messages. Ever since I started eating vegetarian, there's been an odd change in my gut. Every time I pass gas, it smells like someone is steaming vegetables, though off and overripe as they might be. It's not so much smelly as it is fairly quaint. However, it has a good reason: I have a very defective digestive system that withholds almost no nutrients, certainly not enough from only vegetables. So when something goes in, it comes out almost in the same state. Hence the smell of cooked veggies as they've basically just been warming up in my body, not really broken down.

That's why until my twenties I was an avid carnivore. It might not be good for me per se, but function-wise it let me get up in the morning and not faint due to other related medical issues. A tight rope to be walking on in my case, I assure you.
And here you thought that this would be an intellectual debate about world problems and deep, compelling insight. Too bad sport, we'll be talking about my digestive system and my bowel movements!

The reason for this disgusting, too-much-information quote is that during my meat eating years, I always had a certain longing to eat vegetarian. It's not that I don't like meat, on the contrary, meat is awesome. It's just that eating meat requires you to kill an innocent creature and that sucks. You might debate you could go out and kill your own food like Ted Nugent, but I personally don't believe in that survival of the fittest bull-poop. Also, the large majority of all of us live in concrete territory, you'll have sincere troubles finding buffalo ranges there. And ultimately, an innocent creature would perish. Because, let's face it; it was not threatening you, you came after it with the sole purpose of killing and eating it.
Also, in those times, vegetarian products weren't nearly as advanced as they are today. Tofu taste like crab droppings to me and I'll be damned if I have to live off that, even now. Pardon my French, but fuck tofu. It has the same basic nutritious value as card board and the same basic taste. The only difference is that tofu also is an icky, spongy matter and that only makes matters worse. Other meat replacements like Quorn™ and seitan were well on their way, but those are really expensive and do not replace every substance given by meat. B12 vitamin warriors may start their flames here. Also they weren't as tasty as now. But more on those subjects later probably.

Anyway, I wanted to live without killing animals, but couldn't. I need to take in nutrients to live and with my crappy health at the time, not eating meat was not an option. Take in account, my lifestyle at that time was unhealthy. And by that I mean: As unhealthy as possible. Exercise was out of the question as it reminded me too much of dreaded P.E. class and only eating vegetables would revert me to one. Also, my family would buy mostly meat products (as any household) and eating meat was largely encouraged throughout the entire community I was living in. Basically, everything you eat is a dead animal, everywhere you go. To most people, however, this is a given and meat is nothing more than a nice tasty food substance.
To me however, it was a necessary evil. Don't get me wrong, I loved eating meat, even to this day. I liked the taste and I didn't stop to think with every bite that I was eating a cute little critter. Just like most meat eaters, meat was food, not murder. Living without it however, I would not be able to function properly, or even at all.

I tested this theory several years back and started fainting everywhere. A party trick not enjoyed by your friends, I can assure you. After a considerably nasty incident that occurred to me during that test at a festival in the middle of nowhere, my mother took me to the doctor and I was ordered to stop being a filthy hippie and start eating meat again. I still have many serious repercussions from that particular incident today, so I advice anyone to read up on something before staking your life on it. The wise doctor had a point. My general health and lifestyle was nowhere nearly good enough to start chipping at my system like that.
To give you an example: It would be like trying to run your 40 year old Lada with cooking oil. It's probably going to be more environmentally sensitive, but soon enough, you'll see your precious old-timer burn to the ground. What did that get you, other than a very brief sense of smug self-satisfaction?

Something I don't understand is how most vegetarians rant and flame about how people can easily live without meat, but are just lazy or blah blah blah... That's not helping your cause!
If I came flaming to you, that you should adjust your spelling and/or punctuation or wear proper clothes to adjust to society, would you be grateful or just think I'm an incredible douchebag?... I thought as much.
I, for one, and many other like myself, have to work like crazy to maintain eating vegetarian. And even in doing so, my health isn't as good as it would by eating meat.

By upgrading my health status, quit smoking, not drinking vehemently, exercising regularly, taking in numerous amounts of dairy related products, fruits, vegetables and eating very specifically to uphold iron, vitamin and protein levels to an acceptable level, I now can eat vegetarian and function at about 80% of my regular self.

That's not being lazy if you don't do it, that's severely going out of your way to pull it off! I shouldn't be living to eat, but eating to live.
Most of my actions are led back to being able to uphold functions to a maximum without fainting.
I also choose to live without most B12 supplements as I don't think they're necessary and I don't trust their origin most the time. I could drink soy milk, but have you ever had soy milk? It taste like rubber tires, it's awful! Instead of enriching it with B12 vitamins, how about enriching it with something that doesn't make it taste like my perineum after a 2 hour running session?

At this point I would like to quickly remind everyone that this is not meant to be a propaganda post to start eating vegetarian. Eat all the meat you want, when you want, how you want. At best, I'm only here to remind you you're eating a living entity and I'm only making you aware of what you eat. How you deal with that is your issue.

I would gladly eat meat if there would be a way to do so without having to make animals suffer for it, but that would be fairly wishful thinking. I've heard of experiments where they can take meat of the body of an animal without killing it, through some sort of stomate. The problem there is that they've somehow decided to take meat from the animals without sedation. Something that can only be extremely traumatic, I can imagine.. Another experiment would consist of cloning, but that essentially is the same as butchering to me, as all the same rules apply to it other than the creation of the animal.
In the illusion that no animal would suffer from it, nor physically or other, I would consider eating meat again. But let's face it: that will never happen. Man is too much of a cruel being for that to happen.

That's why I would gladly eat human flesh. I wouldn't eat an animal, because it didn't deserve to get eaten. An animal is nondiscriminatory in it's prey. It does not kill unless it is necessary, nor would a herbivore start slaughtering bunnies, because it essentially could. That would just be madness. Imagine what would happen if every animal on this planet would think like us. Dolphins going: "Hey, there's that fucking pod of whales again, let's go destroy these fools!" Although, on the whale part, I'd be inclined to make an exception as I have a severe phobia of whales. Don't ask, they just freak me out, big time! Ok, bad example, let's try that again.

Horses galloping about in the meadows wouldn't suddenly go on a goat murdering rampage, because that's Metal man! Like biting the necks of the poor souls and showering themselves in their blood, listening to "The Stallion" from Bathory. Metaaaaaaaaaaal *high pitched whinny*!!! There, that's more accurate. In the case every animal on the planet would live like that, we'd have a (Charles, not Marilyn) Manson quote on our hands as there would be none of us left. It would make for a short, adrenaline fused experience while the world would completely eradicate itself, so that'd be fun. But luckily animals are sensible in their simple, primitive thought. Don't kill unless necessary. Kill if necessary. Someone attacking you or your loved ones? Kill them and protect the greater good. Animal on the horizon minding it's own business? don't go after it and teach that sucker a lesson in the food-chain and how it works. We can choose to live off something else, like meat substitutes or plants, we just choose to be oppressive and ignore the superior intellect we were blessed with. I'll for a moment ignore the theory that dolphins would be more intelligent than us, I find it odd to measure that, so let's say we rule supreme. Until dolphins come out of the sea to enslave us all, Simpsons-style or fly off to leave us to our dooms as in The hitchhikers guide to the galaxy, we'll just suppose we're the smarter bunch and throw a high five at ourselves.To make matters worse, in our arrogance, we also ignore the one race we should be eliminating: Mankind! Why spare only 1 species on our entire planet? Overpopulation is a well-known global problem and incarcerations and other punishments for "bad people" don't work and are getting too crowded anyway. Why not help me and help yourself and start whacking away at the gene pool? I encourage everyone reading this to go out and kill (or at least wound) everyone standing in your way. I'll refrain from tasteless jokes about senseless violence, but go now! My point is: Why fight with daily frustrations if you can solve that dispute from it's very source? Someone ran over your cat? Murder them. Getting bullied at school? Knife them in the back, they won't see it coming. Someone wouldn't give you Chinese cuts in the lunch line (10 points for reference)? Beat them within an inch of their lives, mend the wounds, then murder them.

I, for one, am a strong supporter of the idea of Soylent Green or just regular Mansteaks. Seriously, if 95% of all people around the globe would perish, we'd be saved. And I'm not saying just people dubbed as wrong or jailed, because that's also a human point of view. There are billions of people out on the streets with the right to get killed and eaten. And no, not just carnivores, that'd be an easy pick, but we're in this together. Spare me the "how would you like it if it was you getting killed?" as it obviously only applies when not slaughtering animals. But, of course, it's fine to murder those.But let's look at things objectively for a second: There are too much humans on this planet. Mankind is destroying its habitat at a frightening faster rate everyday. No other solutions brought by the amazing power of politics has worked. Everybody hates a certain type of person (like said politicians). I hate humanity as a whole. With all these factors known, we can start the frenzy! It might be unrealistic, but it would aid us all accomplish yet another victory for mankind. With all the douchebags taking dirt naps or enriching my soil or my stomach, what would there be left to worry about? No more famine, no more need for incarceration, no poverty; I could even speculate less disease. We would effectively be saved! No need for a second coming Jesus, we got your back on this one. We're cool.

After all that is done and the world is cleansed of 95% of it's plague, we can start rebuilding in a newer fashion. One where we would teach people from the start to not eat meat like a lesser species of mammals. Who knows, if enough douchebags are gone, we might even stop eating human flesh at some point. But hopefully only after I've departed. I hate humanity too much to have to relinquish my murder meals.
Murder Meals: It's like a Happy Meal™, but only it actually makes you happy, instead of just giving you gas. People could personally make their own meals and relieve themselves of some frustrations in the process. Another bad day on the job? Time for a nice Murder Meal. Boom, Headshot! Hmmm. Globalism wouldn't reach inhumane proportions anymore, as there would be too little people to create that vast a network. Metal heads would finally start looking on the bright side of life as all there songs about blood, murder and cannibalism have come together in this joyous triumvirate. Mother Nature would propose to marry me after my heroic idea. Mankind would lie dead at my feet and the world would be at peace.
A man can dream

PS: This blog would've been done a lot faster, if it hadn't suddenly died when I finished it and thereby killed over 3 hours of writing with it. Most of the writing is an attempt at recreating that original, but worse. Like a store brand cola. You'll drink it, but it will never be or beat real cola.

Storm, ahoy!

2010-01-23T14:41:00.007+01:00

Warning: In this snippet I'll be plugging things like crazy (3), like it or not, up to you.

Recently after starting this blog for fun, I began taking up reading whimsical and sometimes informative articles or other blogs. Most of the time they were more of another way to waste time on derivative things, like comics and funny pics. Yes, my brain likes getting numbed down, like any other idiot.Then I came across this link, regarding blogging itself and the first 2 things really applied to me and my adventures as a recent blogger.

Once you start blogging, you begin to pay closer attention to the world around you. You notice the details, live in the present moment, and relish the life lessons, because these become the themes you will write about.

That part really reflected to me. Whether I was now out thinking about occurrences as I experienced them or viewing things, no longer sycophantly, but rather opinionated. It made me think longer and harder on a wide range of things I could share with the world through blog form. And let's face it, there's nothing worse than someone who has an opinion about just anything. Shut your hole and keep it to yourself once in a while, dammit! This was one reason for me not to continue writing despite my, now opened, mindset. The other was that none of the ideas I received from those experiences seemed compelling enough to write as a whole or stand on it's own as a message. Combining multiple of those ideas was also not an option as my mind is very erratic and thus to try and put a consistent line amidst that chaos; now thát would be utter madness!
Anyway, that brewed in my noggin for a while and remained dormant for a while. Also, having to remain busy with social obligations constantly thoroughly shortened my writing. And I like to write everything at once, start what I finish in one take, otherwise I'll just put it off and eventually just cancel the whole thing. Once I start, it's gotta be finished or it's not worth doing basically.

In the wake of those obligations, I happened to stumble on a kinetic spark for my writing 'aspirations'.
Let's not fool anyone here, I write because I have the time to do so, not for some higher resolve. If any, it would just be to share my view on things. And views as a definition are just a relative opinion of a select group that doesn't necessarily require any agreement of other parties. I don't expect you to agree, nor am I here to try and alter any beliefs you might have. Your opinions are just and fine however they may be.
This spark (bit sidetracked now, sorry) was and is Henry Rollins, the great and his many works to spread awareness on any level to any amount of people he can. He made some very good points about his inquiring nature and how to pursue it.

As I can't figure out which of these videos to lure you with, I'll just tell you to watch this and then watch as many other videos as you can/will. This being said, I can also tell you this man has made me realize that although you might not want to hear about my opinion, I should voice it anyway.
That's why I've decided that in the coming weeks I shall try and write about all the things I was pondering about. Maybe even more and more than probably less.
As far as Henry Rollins is concerned, I really urge you to watch not only his spoken word, but pick up his interviews and his show on IFC, where he takes interviews to a whole other level. for instance, check out his interview with Samuel L. Jackson where they don't talk only about his movies, but also about the civil rights movement and that effect on the actor as well as the world. Astonishing!

Anyways, this will be the prologue of a hopefully fruitful endeavor filled with erratic, non-consistent, nonsense spewed from my brain unto this blog. Ideas and thoughts so far spread from each other, you never perceived as possible to dwell in one single entity.
For those of you who do not feel like quite literally wasting your time reading fairly odd, distorted gibberish coming from yours truly: Tune, the F, out, NOW!
All other people not yet completely brain dead from reading this: Hold on tight, we will be going on a bumpy ride!
Good day.

My epic adventure to the grocery store.

2009-12-18T20:20:00.000+01:00

The time is 3.30PM, Thursday, December 17th 2009. I set out to go to the store to get 3 items, three. I return from the store at approximatively 7.30PM. Four hours, just to take a quick trip to the store. This is the story of my epic adventure on that day.

December 17th 2009 will be forever remembered here in Belgium as Snow Day. Around 2PM snow started falling from the sky, bringing a smile to most people's faces and a sneer to some, I'm sure. Intending to go to the store, I initially decide to wait for the snow to stop, as it looks freezing cold outside my window. After a while it's becoming apparent that the snow isn't letting up. No matter, as meanwhile I've had a change of heart. I now wánt to go out into the snow, as the ground is decked in white and I'm eager to step into that frozen goodness. don't you just love that sound? I do..

Packing myself in the best I can, I set out into the ever increasing snowfall. Strangely enough, I decide to not take my MP3 player with me on this rare occasion. I figure, going to the store real quick and back, my cellphone and some earphones should do the trick. Luckily I'll found later that it did do the trick, but it wasn't easy.
The first step outside my building is a confrontation with the harsh reality of Mother Nature and perhaps even global warming, for those of you who'd like to believe it's effects. 1) It's skin-crackling cold out and that right of the bat! 2) I seem to have made an error of judgement, looking out my window. the snow is already ominously packed and my white shoes disappear with every step I take. I have combat boots for this occasion, but again, I figured I'd pop in and out, no biggie. I'm starting to realise that was a rather idiotic statement I will come to regret. also, in the same fashionable nightmare, I refuse to tie my shoes shut, so snow enters my shoes at every pace. Too late to retract anyway, might as well look nonchalant!

I've recently rediscovered my cellphone having a camera and mp3 player; actually the entire reason I bought it. This proves we blindly buy useless consumer products just to own them. Yours truly isn't an exception to that rule..unfortunately. However, with this discovery, I've recently participated in an experiment to view the changing of people's appearance after a lengthy game session, which I catalogued with pictures and a video log, using said consumer product! In your face capitalism!
In the aftermath of this reportage, I thought it would be cool, literally and metaphorically, to take some pictures of the landscapes I would see on my quick trip.
This would be the photo I took when I realised such. It's worth mentioning that the fellow in the picture was very eager to get home. He was running in the slippery snow.
You might not notice, but at the time, the falling snow was nothing short of a blizzard. Normally I take my glasses with me if I'm going to be out late, to counter my nyctalopia, but by now you've guessed my entire adventure is going to be filled with taking the opposite of a sensible decision. I decided that my glasses would get snowed up every 2 seconds and wouldn't be worth bringing. Countless snowflakes in the eyes later, I've contemplated that decision.

As I come closer towards the bus stop, I notice the oddest thing: There's actually still a lot of people going for a jog in the pouring snow. Madness I say. One slip and you have a nice ski injury without any of the bragging rights. Along my trip, I'll notice the opposite of this; people walking like it's summertime. Here's some advice: When venturing out into the snow, there's no need to go at a snail pace, you can go as fast as you want, but please, for everyone's safety, take calm and foremost calculated steps! Also, while putting out your arms for balance might not be the coolest thing to do, it'll keep you upright.
During my entire adventure, I'll see numerous people slipping, sliding and hitting the deck.I even caught a glimpse of one on my camera-phone!

If there's one thing snow can do, it's instantly create a marvellous scene! That's why I knew I had to take a picture of this street leading to the bus stop. Even with my crappy, little lens it would seem fairly nice. You can imagine it looked a lot better in reality still! Trees and snow are always a nice combo apparently.
and although snow was pouring down on me, I somehow managed to keep my spirits up and even grin a little at the splendor that is this natural phenomenon.
But enough about all that nonsense, I'll skip to me actually being at the bus stop.
Once there, I noticed myself turning into a snow man. From the approx. 400m walk I have to do, I managed to get completely covered in snow; turning my completely black outfit a bright white.
I decided it'd be best to keep waiting for the bus under an awning near the stop. This wasn't as easy at it seems, as standing still makes you freeze. So, sporting some cool tunes on my cellphone, I decide to dance, ever so slightly, to some Streetlight Manifesto. We wouldn't want to make an even bigger as of oneself, foolishly prancing around as a giant snowman.
But hopping around seemed to take a bit longer then I had intended, as snowfall blocked the roadways and I had now seen over 10 buses passing by, but not the one I need to take to the shop. No worries however, a bus to the shop comes round every 15 minutes, so even with delays, I should have a bus shortly.
Delusions of the mind, it seems, as all busses were driving except the 3 I need. They were magically able to pass on the other side of the road, but not on my side.
To relieve some boredom, I decided to take another picture, much to the dislike of the 2 young ladies holding the bike. I probably looked like some sort of stalker. As an act of courtesy, I tried to keep them out the picture the best I could.
This car obviously also misjudged the snow and didn't have time to properly scrape the wind shield. Imagine driving like that. Add the slippery roads and you've got a recepy for disaster. Don't you think that's dangerous? I heard from my girlfriend that there were 2 accidents where she lived, one right after the other. Must've been a crazy day for emergency services.

Being already half an hour past the mark of my bus schedule, I figured it wouldn't be long until any bus would show up. I didn't want to pass up the opportunity of getting on the bus by being undetected under the awning. And thus I ventured into the cold snow out front. For 30 more flipping minutes until I could get a bus going even remotely in the direction I was headed. not one of the buses I should take, but another one, passing in the vicinity. One hour I've waited, in the freezing cold, for that! And to make matters worse, I'm stuck standing up in the bus, stuffed in a corner.
At this point, I'm thinking that I'm in a fairly crappy situation, yes, but just look outside, how awesome does everything look!? And it's just until the train station anyway, most people get off there. Me and my giant bag, and posture for that matter, will be sitting down peacefully within minutes.
Yes, of course that didn't happen. To my dismay even more people got on the bus at the station, whilst almost none exited. Now not only was I stuck in a corner, I was now also getting stuffed by some boorish oaf's trolley, as he needed room for his infant, which turned out to be a barbecue set. I'm trying really hard not to swear as this was really an ill-mannered brute. I could understand your trolley needing room if it actually contains some of your bastard spawn, but that was just plain rude. And to top it off, he leaves his cart unattended and expects the lady next to it to look out for it, as she also has a trolley with infant. And to my surprise, she does! She attends for the barbecue child, as if it were her own baby appliance. Dumbstruck, right there!
Here is where my mood switched from regular, bearing it all, to frustrated at least. From now on, all that will blare through my headphones will be hardcore music or a derivative.
Icing this already fairly cold cake, the bus now also can't seem to go faster than a few kilometres an hour. numerous reasons. One, we're heavily in overcapacity, stocking every person afraid of a little cold and frozen rain. Secondly, by now it's rush hour and the streets are filled with cars and such. Would you go out on your bike in this weather? Apparently, neither does the entire human race at that very moment. And last reason would be that the snow made the roads into an icy death trap and salt trucks have not had the time to move out yet. Even if they did, in this rush hour traffic, they'd show up hours after we've passed. Oh, irony.
I can not properly describe the horrific nightmare it was riding said bus to my stop, but references to the Holocaust come to mind. At some point, so many actually kept getting on, that some elderly persons armpit was an inch or so away from my face for about 20 minutes. I couldn't watch my cellphone screen to change the songs because I couldn't move my arm up, there was a lady's arm there who threw me dagger eyes because I bumped her when I tried. Foolish me to disturb you invading my personal space. Luckily I was getting help from the likes Figure Four and Outbreak to sublimate my frustrations into music.
At some point my girlfriend sent me a text, disrupting my music on my cellphone. On a critical point during the song "At the gates of demise" from Maroon, nonetheless. Trying to text her back, without moving my arm, I noticed horrified that I had missed my stop to the stores. One hour in the bus and now I miss my stop!? It's like fate was mocking me, blatantly! I asked my girlfriend to stop sending texts for a while, until I got off the horror express. Right after that, my music kicked back in, issuing the break in the song at the gates of demise; classic! Luckily, the stop right after the one I was panicking about, was actually where the store was I needed to be. I noticeably started to prepare myself to get off, so people around me could see that I needed the room to pass. The woman right next to me did the same and we got to the conclusion we both were going the same way. She didn't like my passive aggressive remarks regarding the bus ride, but who cares? I'm never seeing her again. She can slip and die after I get off for all I care, I'm almost free!

Time for another picture as the snow was now falling in full blizzard form. Notice how it was clear day when I got on the bus and it now was pitch black when I got off.
I lifted my head to see that the shopping center where I stood, was virtually deserted. Normally it's always bustling with hundreds of people and cars and now there were about 10 cars on the entire area! It was mind boggling how empty and white everything looked. Apart from my foot tracks, almost none were made and all looked an even white. It was a little humbling and rather beautiful. I wanted to catalogue this fact, but it was coming down so hard I couldn't hold my camera up long enough without it being covered in snow.
It was time to rush to the store to see if they still had my items.
I actually went to a store of the same franchise yesterday without snow or anything to go buy these 3 nice items, only to find out the store being cleared out. I loathe that store so much and intend to never see it again. More so, I will be encouraging all my friends to avoid it as if it had contagious cancer. That's the entire reason for my "quick trip".
Coming across the parking lot, where all is white and the stop bumps have been hidden to kill your toes in a guerilla strike, I noticed there was 1 car on the entire lot. ONE.
I entered the store to find it empty. And I mean empty, because not only were there no customers, there weren't even any employees present! It was a gangsta's paradise, pardon the reference.
I rushed to the items aisle where I needed to be and there I saw the first good thing about this entire trip: No customers mean no sales whatsoever. All my items were there available in bulk. I felt like any moment now, the skies would open up and rain cheese!
I quickly grasped all the items I was questing so long for and hastily made my way to the register, where a woman had to come from the back and install herself there. She looked awfully bored of wandering an empty store all day, so we had a small chat as to why it's so deserted. I told her of my travel of 2 hours from the city and she stood in awe. She must've realised I would be her only customer that day.
It reminded me so much to Homer's adventure to the world's first convenience store, which was located at the top of a mountain. To which he replies: "Well, this isn't very convenient, is it?"

I left the store and decided to do a side-quest on my now fairly adventurous journey. In for a penny, in for a pound. There was another shop close by that had another item I wanted and continuing my logic of earlier, I figured they would have no customers today. Now only to get there.
everything was an even white and somehow somewhere I had to take a right into a road. Only I had no vision of where that road was, nor where I was heading. I decided to trial and error it all and stepped randomly into right directions. My feet at this point got well covered in snow with every step I took. Most paces I ended up to my ankles in snow, with open shoes. Looking cool for a deserted area, now that's bad ass!
After a few trips, a few slides and a daring climb onto a hill, I reached the lot where the store would be and after even more neck braking antics, I reached the store itself.
However, my theory, correct as it may be, didn't factor in the laziness of humans. There was indeed not a soul in sight, but given that, the bored clerk hadn't bothered doing anything. I asked him where I could find the item, to which he shrugged. While I was going on those wonderful directions, another clerk saw his opportunity to do his first actual work of the day and ran through the store for about 15 minutes in search of said goods. However, he forgot to mention beforehand that due to lack of people, they hadn't stocked the store or even bothered to call in an order.
It looked like that would be a quest I would have to fulfil another day. Even though I really wanted to buy that thing, I wasn't to disappointed at failing to acquire it. A great hook for a sequel adventure was just born!

It was now a little after 6PM and it was time for this adventurer to return to the nest and unveil our goods. Standing at the regular bus stop, the bus was scheduled to arrive any minute. I thought ahead and figured it would be too late as earlier cars were going as fast as me and one almost slipped on my feet when it swerved away trying to move from the green light.
I made my way to a nearby bus stop where this bus could stop, but also another one if needed be. It was the bus stop I originally intended to get to when I first started my journey.
Meanwhile keeping in mind that the bus could come from behind and pass me on the way there. To remedy this problem, I decided to step off the path that wasn't actually a path, but some sort of death trap and I ventured onto the road. Seriously, I never noticed, but that road was a sure way to disaster. Every step I took was in an uneven and very rocky structure, shattering my ankles on every twist.
Blocking the way for eventual cars, I felt safe to get to my stop on time. And on time I was, as there would not be a bus for another half hour or so again. It was time once more to take a picture and return to my old plan of dancing for warmth! We all should be dancing more for warmth, that shivering nonsense just isn't a sight to behold. The lady that was coming towards my bus stop didn't like my dancing skills it seemed, but I didn't care. I was warm and she was freezing. I would've invited her for a dance, but we all remember the stalker look not being positive earlier. I tried to only dance when she wasn't looking. Except if NOFX or someone else made me dance, I mean, I can't just ignore that, not for all the courtesy in the world!

To me and my bus stop companions' delight, another bus was slowly but surely rising from the horizon. we were minutes away from being warm and dry.
Once on the bus, I treated myself to a little surprise. Being proud of myself to hold up such good spirits throughout the entire day, I bought myself some cookies to reward me for all the deeds well done. It's not like I was going to get some experience points for it! Cookies are good, I don't care if you look at me crooked for eating cookies like a child on a bus, they're worth it! Even as I choked on my last cookie, I was filled with to much chocolaty goodness to make a fuss about it. If I were to choke to death, chocolate would be the way to go.
With that done, I realised that soon my adventure would be coming to an end and I had still the fire inside me to go on!
I decided to use my time taking some more pictures and then making as much video footage as I could.
Again, much to the dislike of my female bus companion who had the misfortune of sitting right behind me on the bus. I could clearly see her sneering at me from the window in front of me. That was not going to stop me from making my log of this epic adventure!
As we ventured back into the bustling city, shots were becoming too crowded with cars and other non-photogenic things to still take any log of my activity. Once we arrived back into the station, the bus filled back to inhuman capacity and I was once again trapped.
Therefore I was going to get off early and leave that hell hole for 2 reasons. One, I wanted to be able to breath and two, the historic city looked awesome right about now, I could go take some more snapshots!

Getting off proved a huge challenge as I was in another corner than where the door was and my items made me even more plump than when I set off. But I got up all my courage, lifted my items above my head, discarded all the dirty looks I got and hopped off the bus.
After some practical readjustments to the cold I ventured onwards to take some final pictures.

Unfortunately my cellphone had bravely given up the fight for any battery power to my camera a long time ago on the bus and the pictures I took were all out of focus and overall shoddy.
It was time for me to go home and rest from my weary quest. But not before trying to capture some final footage! In my last straight line home, what would've been a perfect ending to my log, I was cut off by a girl asking for directions. And thus she ended what could've been an awesome video ending with directions to a random house in the city. As if anyone would know where said residence would be. I tried to help her the best I can as I was almost home and could smell the nice Viennese blend coffee from there! How ever eager I was to roast myself into my newly acquired blanket, I stood there and explained her for a few minutes as to where her house might be, but ever flustered she left to go on her quest and I finished mine promptly by rushing home before any other mishaps!

After I jumped up and down for a few minutes trying to cast off my white armour of snow, I set my shoes and all my bags outside my door and stepped inside to put on the stove, put on some coffee and ease my way into the evening.
Looking at the clock it was now just about 7.30PM.
My quick trip had lasted 4 hours and would've been as full of tales and adventure as a story could hold. I was strangely content and that was nothing short of a miracle.
If the landscape wasn't so idyllic and my cellphone wouldn't have lasted out with numerous great artists and songs to aid me as my bard, I would've been in an entirely different situation. But for now, I was at peace.
Thank you, Mother Nature and also Verse, Hatebreed, Remembering Never, Himsa, FFTL, Black My Heart, Dead Stop, ATEWB, Ringworm, No-Ca$h and so, so much more!