Cute Nerd with Muscles

Crock Pottery!!!

2012-03-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

So I just bought a crock pot. This was my first bit of crock pottery. It. Was. Glorious!!!

Crock Pot Roast

Ingredients

2 (10.75 ounce) cans condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 (1 ounce) package dry onion soup mix
1 1/4 cups water
5 1/2 pounds pot roast

Directions

In a slow cooker, mix cream of mushroom soup, dry onion soup mix and water. Place pot roast in slow cooker and coat with soup mixture.
Cook on High setting for 3 to 4 hours, or on Low setting for 8 to 9 hours.

Tools Used

Crock Pot...seriously, that's it.

Serves 12

426 Calories

Bacon Brownies

2012-01-19T14:19:00.000-08:00

Easiest recipe on earth

Bacon Brownies (not from scratch)

Brownie Mix

Bacon

Fry up bacon to just shy of crispy (I use the George Foreman because it makes things healthy!). Set aside on paper towels to let excess grease drip out. Make brownie batter like it says on box of mix. Pour half the batter into baking dish. Add bacon as a layer. Add rest of batter.

Bake.

Eat.

I'm not even going to attempt a calorie count, it'll just make me sad.

Mac and Cheese

2012-01-17T21:12:00.000-08:00

This recipe my Frankenstein's monster of several mac and cheese recipes, bear with me. It's frakking divine!

Mac and Cheese

1/4 cup all purpose flour

4 oz prosciutto

1/2 lb asparagus

3/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper (I used FAR more, a whole tablespoon, it was VERY spicy)

6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) butter

4 cups whole milk

8 cups of assorted cheeses that you enjoy (I used sharp cheddar, colby jack, and italian blend)

bread crumbs

1lb elbow macaroni

Preheat oven to 375°F. Cook macaroni according to instructions on the box. Set aside. Chop prosciutto into small strips and asparagus into thirds (after removing the bottom portion of asparagus at its natural breaking point...it'll break there when bent, throw that part away...the bottom). Cook prosciutto over medium heat until fat is rendered away and the prosciutto is slightly crispy and majorly delicious (just pick a piece up and taste, you'll know). Set aside. Butter 13 x 9 x 2-inch glass baking dish. Whisk flour and cayenne in small bowl. Melt butter in heavy large pot over medium-high heat. Add flour mixture; stir 1 minute (do not brown). Gradually whisk in milk and bring to simmer. Cook until sauce thickens, 4 to 5 minutes. Whisk 6 cups assorted cheeses into sauce. Season generously with salt and pepper. Stir in pasta, prosciutto, and asparagus; remove from heat. Layer half of pasta mixture, then half of remaining cheese in baking dish; repeat. Sprinkle with breadcrumb topping. Cover with foil. Bake 30 minutes. Uncover and bake until topping is golden, 10 to 12 minutes.

Calories over 850 per serving. Serves 8 easily.

Shepherd's Pie

2012-01-08T20:03:00.000-08:00

4 large russet potatoes (2 1/2 pounds)
2 pounds (85% lean) ground sirloin
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 large onions (1 pound total), chopped
1 large garlic clove, smashed, peeled and finely chopped
1 (15 ounce) can tomato puree
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 1/2 cups frozen petit peas (half of a 1-pound bag), thawed
3/4 cup half-and-half
1 teaspoon kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 cup (packed) shredded reduced-fat extra-sharp cheddar cheese (4 ounces)

1. Peel the potatoes, cut in half lengthwise, and then thinly slice; place in a large saucepan with cold water to cover by 1 inch. Bring to a boil over high heat, reduce the heat, and simmer until the potatoes are tender, about 10 minutes.

2. Right after you put the potatoes on to cook, begin the filling: Cook the ground beef in a 12-inch skillet over medium-high heat, breaking up the meat with a wooden spoon and turning frequently until the meat is nicely browned, about 7 minutes. Transfer the beef to a plate. Preheat the oven to 500°F.

3. Add 2 tablespoons oil to the same skillet. Add the onions and garlic and cook over medium heat, stirring often, until golden and tender, about 6 minutes. Return the browned meat to the pan and stir in the tomato puree and cayenne. Bring to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, until the mixture is thickened, about 10 minutes. Stir in the peas and cover to keep warm.

4. Drain the cooked potatoes well and return them to the pot. Mash well with a potato masher, and then stir in the half-and-half, salt, and pepper to taste. Spoon the warm meat mixture into a 2 1/2-to 3-quart baking dish and sprinkle the Cheddar on top. Spoon the potatoes on top of the cheese, spreading them over the meat, leaving a scant inch border around the edge.

5. Drizzle the remaining tablespoon of olive oil over the top and then bake until the potatoes are golden, about 10 minutes. Let cool for 5 minutes before serving.

Potato Crusted Blackened Tilapia

2011-11-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

I invented this foolishness

Recipe used: Potato Crusted Blackened Tilapia. The side dish is the rainbow chard dish from one of my earlier posts. It's my first attempt at this recipe and the potatoes didn't want to cooperate and stay on the fish when I turned it, but it was still so very delicious.

Potato Crusted Blackened Tilapia

2 Tilapia filets

1 potato, peeled, par-boiled (I'll explain)

Creole seasoning or blackening spice (I used Zatarain's creole seasoning, because I didn't have all of my blackening spice ingredients)

2 Tbsp vegetable oil

Ok, first peel the potato. If you can't peel a potato, you're not going to be making this dish. Next, parboil the potato. To parboil, you get a saucepan of water to a healthy boil. Put the potato in and boil for 6 to 7 minutes. You don't want a soft potato, you just want it less firm than a fully raw potato. Remove from water and let sit for a minute or two (so you don't burn the holy crap out of your fingers for the next part).

Season the raw fish with the creole or blackening spice. Take the now cooled potato and, using a hand grater, grate the potato over the fish (I used the big holes on the grater). Make sure you spread the potato shavings over the fish so that it's all covered. Refrigerate for 10 minutes.

Put a saucepan on the burner over medium heat. Add vegetable oil. Let it get hot. Add the now 10 minute refrigerated fish potato side down. Be careful. For one thing, there's some very hot oil in that pan AND you don't want the little potato pieces falling off of the fish. Cook on this side for about 4 minutes. Carefully turn the fish using a spatula and cook on the other side for 3 to 4 minutes. For thicker pieces of fish, this time will increase.

That's it! It's actually pretty simple, and with practice, I may even get the potatoes to hold on to the fish like I want them to.

Calories: 564 (if you eat it all yourself, which I did)

Tools Used

Frying pan

Grater

Refrigerator

Navy Seal Workout Plan

2011-10-29T11:26:00.000-07:00

As you may imagine, you have to be in pretty good shape to be one of these guys

These, my friends, are Navy SEALs. In order to qualify to become a SEAL, you are expected to be able to do the following:

-Swim 500 yards in 12:30 (though 8:00-9:00 is better)

*Rest 10 mins

-Max Push-Ups in 2 mins (42 is minimum, 90+ is better)

*Rest 2 mins

-Max Situps in 2 mins (52 is minimum, 90+ is better)

*Rest 2 mins

-Max Pullups - no time limit (8 is minimum, 15+ is better)

*Rest 10 mins

-1.5 mile run (11:30 is maximum, 9 mins or less is better)

This is not an easy task for most untrained people. But there's a way to get there, oh beautiful people. There is a way!

But it ain't easy.

Warning: Try these routines at your own risk! If you are out of shape or have any history of high blood pressure, heart disease, or any other illness, this kind of strenous exercise could lead to serious injury or death. Ask your doctor before starting any exercise program. This workout is provided here for reference purposes only.

The goal of the category I student is to work up to 16 miles per week of running. After you have achieved that goal then and only then should you continue on to the category II goal of 30 miles per week. Let me remind you that category I is a nine week buildup program. Follow the workout as best you can and you will be amazed at the progress you will make.

Week 1
Running	2 miles/day, 8:30 pace	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pushups*	4 sets of 15 pushups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Situps*	4 sets of 20 situps	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pullups*	3 sets of 3 pullups (chin bar)	Mon/Wed/Fri
Swimming**	Swim continuously for 15 min.	4-5 days/week

Week 2
Running	2 miles/day, 8:30 pace (6 mi/wk)	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pushups*	5 sets of 20 pushups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Situps*	5 sets of 20 situps	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pullups*	3 sets of 3 pullups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Swimming**	Swim continuously for 15 min.	4-5 days/week

Week 3
Running	None. High risk of stress fractures.	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pushups*	5 sets of 25 pushups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Situps*	5 sets of 25 situps	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pullups*	3 sets of 4 pullups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Swimming**	Swim continuously for 20 min.	4-5 days/week

Week 4
Running	3 miles/day, 8:30 pace (9 mi/wk)	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pushups*	5 sets of 25 pushups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Situps*	5 sets of 25 situps	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pullups*	3 sets of 4 pullups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Swimming**	Swim continuously for 20 min.	4-5 days/week

Weeks 5-6
Running	2 / 3 / 4 / 2 miles (11 miles/week)	Mo/Tu/We/Fr
Pushups*	6 sets of 25 pushups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Situps*	6 sets of 25 situps	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pullups*	2 sets of 8 pullups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Swimming**	Swim continuously for 25 min.	4-5 days/week

Weeks 7-8
Running	4 / 4 / 5 / 3 miles (16 miles/week)	Mo/Tu/We/Fr
Pushups*	6 sets of 30 pushups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Situps*	6 sets of 30 situps	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pullups*	2 sets of 10 pullups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Swimming**	Swim continuously for 30 min.	4-5 days/week

Week 9
Running	4 / 4 / 5 / 3 miles (16 miles/week)	Mo/Tu/We/Fr
Pushups*	6 sets of 30 pushups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Situps*	6 sets of 30 situps	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pullups*	3 sets of 10 pullups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Swimming**	Swim continuously for 35 min.	4-5 days/week

*Note: For best results, alternate exercises. Do a set of pushups, then a set of sit-ups, followed by a set of pull-ups, immediately with no rest.

** Note: Swimming is a sidestroke with NO fins. Switch sides regularly as you want to develop your sidestroke on both the left and right side. Try to swim 50 meters in one minute or less. If you have no access to a pool, ride a bicycle for twice as long as you would swim. If you do have access to a pool, swim every day available. Four to five days a week and 200 meters in one session is your initial workup goal.

And for those for which that was easy I present to you:

Schedule, Category II

Category II is a more intense workout designed for those who have been involved with a routine PT schedule or those who have completed the requirements of category I. Do not attempt this workout schedule unless you can complete the week 9 level of Category I workouts.

Weeks 1-2
Running	3 / 5 / 4 / 5 / 2 miles (19 mi/wk)	Mo/Tu/We/Fr/Sa
Pushups	6 sets of 30 pushups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Situps	6 sets of 35 situps	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pullups	3 sets of 10 pullups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Dips	3 sets of 20 dips	Mon/Wed/Fri
Swimming*	Swim continuously for 35 min.	4-5 days/week

Weeks 3-4
Running	4 / 5 / 6 / 4 / 3 miles (22 mi/wk)	Mo/Tu/We/Fr/Sa
Pushups	10 sets of 20 pushups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Situps	10 sets of 25 situps	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pullups	4 sets of 10 pullups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Dips	10 sets of 15 dips	Mon/Wed/Fri
Swimming†	Swim continuously for 45 min.	4-5 days/week

Week 5
Running	5 / 5 / 6 / 4 / 4 miles (24 mi/wk)	Mo/Tu/We/Fr/Sa
Pushups	15 sets of 20 pushups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Situps	15 sets of 25 situps	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pullups	4 sets of 12 pullups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Dips	15 sets of 15 dips	Mon/Wed/Fri
Swimming†	Swim continuously for 60 min.	4-5 days/week

Week 6 and beyond
Running	5 / 6 / 6 / 6 / 4 miles (27 mi/wk)	Mo/Tu/We/Fr/Sa
Pushups	20 sets of 20 pushups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Situps	20 sets of 25 situps	Mon/Wed/Fri
Pullups	5 sets of 12 pullups	Mon/Wed/Fri
Dips	20 sets of 15 dips	Mon/Wed/Fri
Swimming†	Swim continuously for 75 min.	4-5 days/week

Note: For weeks 8-9 and beyond, it is not necessary to increase the distance of the runs; work on the speed of your 6 mile runs and try to get them down to 7:30 per mile or lower. If you wish to increase the distance of your runs, do it gradually: no more than one mile per day increase for every week beyond week 9.

These workouts are designed for long-distance muscle endurance. Muscle fatigue will gradually take a longer and longer time to develop doing high repetition workouts. For best results, alternate exercises each set, in order to rest that muscle group for a short time.

† Note: Final swimming sessions are with fins. At first, to reduce initial stress on your foot muscles when starting with fins, alternate swimming 1000 meters with fins and 1000 meters without them. Your goal should be to swim 50 meters in 45 seconds or less.

Stretching

Since Mon/Wed/Fri are devoted to Physical Training (PT), it is wise to devote at least 20 minutes on Tue/Thu/Sat to Stretching. You should always stretch for at least 15 minutes before any workout; however, just stretching the previously worked muscles will make you more flexible and less likely to get injured. A good way to start stretching is to start at the top and go to the bottom. Stretch to tightness, not to pain; hold for 10- 15 seconds. DO NOT BOUNCE. Stretch every muscle in your body from the neck to the calves, concentrating on your thighs, hamstrings, chest, back, and shoulders.

Nutrition

Proper nutrition is extremely important now and especially when you arrive at BUD/S. You must make sure you receive the necessary nutrients to obtain maximum performance output during exercise and to promote muscle/tissue growth and repair. The proper diet provides all the nutrients for the body's needs and supplies energy for exercise. It also promotes growth and repair of tissue and regulates the body processes. The best source of complex carbohydrates are potatoes, pasta, rice, fruits, vegetables. These types of foods are your best sources of energy.

Carbohydrates, protein, and fat are the three energy nutrients. All three can provide energy, but carbohydrate is the preferred source of energy for physical activity. It takes at least 20 hours after exhaustive exercise to completely restore muscle energy, provided 600 grams of carbohydrates are consumed per day. During successive days of heavy training, like you will experience at BUD/S, energy stores prior to each training session become progressively lower. This is a situation in which a high carbohydrate diet can help maintain your energy.

The majority of carbohydrates should come from complex carbohydrate foods that include bread, crackers, cereal, beans, peas, starchy vegetables, and other whole grain or enriched grain products. Fruits are also loaded with carbohydrates. During training, more than four servings of these food groups should be consumed daily.

Water intake is vital; stay hydrated. You should be consuming up to four quarts of water daily. Drink water before you get thirsty!!! Substances such as alcohol, caffeine and tobacco increase your body's need for water. Too much of these substances will definitely harm your body and hinder your performance. Supplemental intake of vitamins, as well, has not been proven to be beneficial. If you are eating a well balance diet, there is no need to take vitamins.

Nutritional Balance
Carbohydrates	50-70% of calories
Protein	10-15% of calories
Fats	20-30% of calories

Vealboigah!!!

2011-10-29T06:39:00.000-07:00

Recipes used: Veal boigah and balsamic asparagus salad. Recipe submitted by Nicole Bryan Romero.

Veal Boigah

1lb ground veal

.5 cup kalamata olives

.5 cup artichoke hearts

.5 cup raw baby spinach leaves

.5 cup mushrooms

1 egg

Mix all of the veggies in a food processor to make a tapenade. ,

Mix resulting product in with the veal and 1 egg for binder.

Cook like a regular burger.

Balsamic Asparagus Salad

Asparagus

Mushrooms

Minced Garlic

Zuchini

Yellow Squash

Tomatoes

Chop all ingredients and mix together.

Drizzle with extra virgin olive oil and balsamic vinegar .

Tools Used

Manual food processor

Knife

As always, all items can be found at Pampered Chef. Since Nicole came up with the recipes, it would be awesome if you frequented her store for kitchen products that you may need.

Spaghetti alla Carbonara

2011-10-04T20:27:00.000-07:00

This might be my favorite thing.

Recipe used: Spaghetti alla Carbonara. Recipe originally found in People magazine August, 2010.

Spaghetti alla Carbonara

2 large eggs

0.5 cups freshly grated Parmiagiano-Reggiano cheese

0.5 cups freshly grated Pecorino Romano cheese

4 oz. pancetta cubed

1 lb. dry spaghetti

1 tbsp. salt

freshly ground pepper

1.) Whisk the eggs in a small bowl until just combined. Whisk in the cheeses. Set aside.
2.) Place the pancetta in a large saute pan and set over medium heat. Cook, stirring frequently, until the bacon is crisp on the outside and much of the fat has rendered out, 12 to 15 minutes.
3.) Meanwhile, bring a large pot water to a boil and add the salt. Cook the spaghetti until al dente. Before draining the pasta, reserve about 1 cup of the cooking water.
4.) Drain the pasta and add to the pan with the pancetta. Over medium heat, toss the pasta well, making sure it is piping hot. Remove from heat and stir in the egg mixture quickly, tossing to coat he pasta evenly.
5.) Season with plenty of black pepper and toss again. Add a little of the reserved pasta water (start with 1/4 cup) to think out to the desired creamy consistency. Add salt to taste if needed.
6.) Divide among heated bowls, top each serving with a few grinds of pepper, and serve immediately.

Serves 6

385 calories per serving

Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe Pizza

2011-09-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

The yummiest pizza of all time.

Bacon Cheeseburger Deluxe Pizza

1 Boboli Pizza Crust (it's just easier this way)

2 Boboli Pizza Sauce packets

.5 lb ground beef

bleu cheese (optional, but yum)

jalepenos (optional, but yum)

pickle slices (not at all optional)

shredded cheddar cheese (as much as you can handle)

1 clove minced garlic

Preheat oven to 450

Season ground beef as you would for your favorite burger recipe (I use the hamboigah hamboigah recipe). Brown ground beef in a nonstick skillet over a medium high flame. Remove from heat.

Remove pizza from wrapper and place on pizza pan. With the back of a spoon spread pizza sauce onto the pizza. Sprinkle garlic into sauce. All of the other ingredients evenly over the pie, saving the cheese for last. Place in oven.

Ten minutes later, remove from oven and allow to cool for a minute or two. Slice pizza using a pizza slicer. Put pizza slices into your face.

You don't want to know the calorie count.

Tools Used

Pizza Pan

Pizza slicer

Black Bean-Corn Burger

2011-09-27T21:34:00.000-07:00

For my veggie friends.

Okay this is my first attempt at a homemade veggie burger. And it's the shit!!!

Recipe used: Black Bean-Corn Burger. Recipe by Marge Perry from Self Magazine.

Black Bean-Corn Burger

1 can (15 ounce) low-sodium black beans, rinsed and drained

3/4 cup corn, thawed if frozen

1/2 red bell pepper, cut into 1/4-inch dice

1/4 cup whole-wheat breadcrumbs

1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro

3 large egg whites, lightly beaten

1 tablespoon chopped chipotle chile in adobo

1/2 teaspoon dried oregano

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

2 Tablespoons flour

1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon olive oil, divided

8 cups baby spinach

Pinch of nutmeg

In a bowl, combine beans, corn, bell pepper, breadcrumbs, cilantro, egg whites, chipotle, oregano, cumin and flour. Form bean mixture into four 3/4-inch-thick patties. In a large nonstick skillet, heat 1 tablespoon oil over medium-high heat. Cook patties, turning once, until browned, 5 minutes per side; remove from pan. In same skillet, sauté spinach in remaining 1 teaspoon oil over medium-high heat until wilted, 3 minutes; season with nutmeg and salt and freshly ground black pepper. Place 1/4 of cooked spinach on bottom of each bun, then 1 burger and cheese (if you like). Top with other bun half.

400 calories per serving

This recipe was inspired by this recipe.

Tools Used

Bowl

Non-stick frying pan

Spatula

Bacon Cheeseburger Meatloaf

2011-09-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

As delicious as it is unpretty.

Recipes involved: Bacon Cheeseburger Meatloaf. Recipe given to me by Nicole Bryan Romero. The very same Nicole who runs the Pampered Chef site posted in earlier recipes.

Bacon Cheeseburger Meatloaf

Meatloaf (you can buy premixed meatloaf meat, that's what I did)

.5 cup crumbled bacon

.25 cup ketchup

.25 cup mustard

.5 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Preheat oven to 350

In a bowl mix together all ingredients, really get in there and make sure they are mixed well. Put all into a small loaf pan. Put into the oven. Bake for 45 minutes. Open oven sprinkle more cheese on top of the meatloaf. Put back into oven for 10 additional minutes. Remove, allow to cool a little bit, enjoy.

The potatoes are totally instant, I just wasn't in the mood to make mashers.

The peas and corn instructions are on the side of the cans.

Question

2011-09-22T17:40:00.001-07:00

I'm thinking about doing a vegetarian meal once a week on the blog. Should I venture down that path?

How far should I venture? All the way to veganism?

Post comments to let me know what you think.

Hamboigah! Hamboigah! Hamboigah!!!

2011-09-20T21:32:00.000-07:00

Welcome to hamburger Tuesday. Every Tuesday (when I remember) I'm gonna feature a different hamburger recipe.

This week: Black Peppercorn and Roasted Garlic burger stuffed with Bleu Cheese Crumbles.

Recipe used: Um, Black Peppercorn and Roasted Garlic burger stuffed with Bleu Cheese Crumbles (obvious cook is obvious). My recipe (all measurements approximate).

Boigah!!!

serves 1

.5 lb ground beef (the higher the quality the better, I prefer ground brisket. It's spendy)

1 Tablespoon of bleu cheese crumbles

1 Tablespoon of freshly ground black pepper (yes, that much)

2 cloves of minced roasted garlic

1 small onion, .25 minced, .75 thinly sliced

1 Tablespoon of bacon bits (real bacon)

2 strips of thick cut bacon

sharp cheddar cheese

ketchup

mustard

Miracle Whip

In the biggest skillet you have, melt 2 Tablespoons of the butter with the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onion slices and cook, stirring frequently, for 5 minutes, until they take on just a little bit of color. Reduce the heat to very low and let cook for 30 to 40 minutes, until a soothing golden color and a soft, soft consistency.

While the onions are becoming perfection, put the bacon strips on the George Foreman grill. (Hey, it's seriously how bacon should be prepared in my opinion) Cook until desired crispiness, remove to paper towels.

In a medium sized bowl, mix the ground beef, black pepper, roasted garlic, and bacon bits. Form into a ball when thoroughly mixed together. Using your thumb, push an indent in the middle of the ball, stuff this with bleu cheese (sometimes I put jalapenos in there too!). Roll meatball concealing the bleu cheese within. Flatten (not completely, it will still be quite thick, see photo) You should not see the bleu cheese.

The burger can be cooked one of two ways, heavy cast iron skillet or Foreman grill. I realize that I'm going against nature, but I swear by the George Foreman. There's less fat left for the burger to sit and soak in and I feel like I'm getting more of the flavor without that fat wading pool. Once the burger is done to your liking, remove from grill and set on paper towel and cover in foil. Let it rest for 5 minutes.

Place burger on bun, top with crispy bacon, caramelized onions, mustard, ketchup, and miracle whip. Slice cheese to desired thickness, place on top of mountain of loveliness. Place top bun on top. Serve with fries.

I cheated on the fries, they're just Ore-Ida.

Lemon Rosemary Roast Chicken w/ Mushroom-Saffron Risotto

2011-09-18T17:31:00.000-07:00

Recipes involved: Lemon Rosemary Roast Chicken, Mushroom Saffron Risotto. Recipes by Ted Allen (my commentary in parentheses).

Lemon Rosemary Roast Chicken

serves 4

4.5 lb roasting chicken (make sure you get a roaster and not a fryer. The whole chicken!)

1 lemon quartered and zested (zesting shall be explained)

1.5 Tablespoons chopped fresh rosemary, plus several sprigs for stuffing.

1 Teaspoon kosher salt

.5 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

2 garlic cloves, minced (I use the jarred stuff for this, I find the difference negligible)

.25 cup extra virgin olive oil

2 large onions (about 1 lb) quartered (I use vidalias, they're like candy!)

Preheat oven to 350 F.

Rinse the chicken inside and out, then pat dry with paper towels.

In a small bowl, combine the lemon zest, chopped rosemary, salt, pepper, and garlic. Dump half this mixture into the cavity of the chicken, along with the flesh of the lemons and the sprigs of rosemary.

Add the olive oil to the bowl of seasoning, and whisk with a fork, forming a paste. Massage this mixture all over the outside of the chicken.

Place the onions in the bottom of a roasting pan. Set the chicken breasts on the onions, and put in the oven. Bake for 1 hour, basting occasionally with the juices from the bottom of the pan onto the top of the bird (it's gonna be a little while into the process that juices will appear, but appear they will) (oh yeah, you're gonna need a baster. They're cheap).

Raise the temperature to 400 F and roast until the skin browns a bit, about 15 minutes. Carefully turn the chicken, using tongs or long handled forks (you don't have either of these? buy both.), so the breast faces down.

(psst...this is the PERFECT time to start the risotto!!!)

Continue to roast for 30 to 40 minutes, until the skin has browned and crisped. Remove from the oven and let rest for 10 minutes or so before serving.

To carve, use your 8 inch butcher knife (go buy it now...I'll wait). You'll be able to cut it into quarters straight down the middle, both ways. You'll end up with 2 breast wing combos as well as 2 leg thigh combos. Serve with the onions. They are De. Li. Cious.

268 calories per serving.

Citrus Zest

The zest is the out layer of the citrus rind, the part with the texture and color. The inner layer, called the pith, is white and bitter; you don't want this. To get the zest, rub the fruit along the smallest holes of a box grater, or better yet, buy a zester! Be careful to leave the pith on the fruit.

Mushroom Saffron Risotto

serves 2 as an entree, 4 as a side dish

6 cups (1.5 quarts) boxed organic broth

3 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

.5 lb portobello mushrooms, stemmed, cleaned, and thinly sliced

.5 lb cremini or shitake mushrooms, stemmed, cleaned and thinly sliced

1 medium onion, finely chopped

1.5 cups Arborio rice

.5 cup of dry white wine (I typically use 2 buck chuck)

2 Tablespoons herbed butter (see previous post)

.25 cup chopped fresh chives

.5 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese (meaning that YOU grated, not that garbage in the green bottle)

salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

.5 Teaspoon saffron threads

On a rear burner of your stove, in a small pot, heat the broth to just below the boiling point. turn the flame to very low and keep at the barest simmer, add saffron. On the burner in front of your broth, heat 2 Tablespoons of the olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over a medium high flame. Add the sliced mushrooms and cook, stirring often, until they've wilted and released their juices, about 5 minutes. Empty the contents of the skillet - mushrooms and oil - into a small bowl.

In the same skillet, add the remaining tablespoon of oil and warm over medium heat. Add the onion and cook, stirring often with a wooden sppon, until totally wilted but not browning, about 5 minutes. Raise the heat to medium high, add the rice, and cook, stirring, for 3 minutes; the rice will take on a little bit of color, but be careful not to let it stick to the bottom of the pan and burn.

Pour in the wine and stir until it is absorbed by the rice, about 1 to 2 minutes, stirring all the while. Once the wine is gone, repeat the process with the warm broth - add .5 cups at a time, stir, and wait for the liquid to be absorbed before you add the next .5 cup. Stir constantly. (Yeah, it's a little tedious, but SOOO worth it). Keep this going for a total of 15 to 20 minutes of broth additions, until the rice is cooked through but still a little firm (al dente) to the bite. You may not need all the broth, and the end result should be slightly soupy - just a little liquid among the grains of rice.

When the rice is done, return the sauteed mushrooms to the pan. Stir in the butter, chives, and parmesan, and add salt and pepper to taste. Cover the pan and let it sit for at least 2 minutes, and then serve immediately.

250 calories per serving as a side. 500 as a main.

Tools Used

sauce pan

roasting pan

nonstick skillet

bowl

8 inch butcher knife

baster

wooden spoon

tongs

rotary grater

Most of these items are available for sale from my friend Nicole's webstore, The Pampered Chef. Those you cannot find there, can be found at Amazon.

All recipes presented in this post are either exact from Ted Allen, or variations of his recipes. The original recipes for this post can be found in Queer Eye for the Straight Guy book, which can be found on Amazon or at your local bookstore.

For Dinner

2011-09-13T17:31:00.001-07:00

I'm grilling top sirloin and shall enjoy it with twice baked potatoes with cheddar and caramelized onions as well as a hot, garlicky rainbow chard with almonds.

Recipes involved: Simply Steak, Herbed Butter, Twice baked potatoes with cheddar and carmelized onions, hot, garlicky rainbow chard with almonds. All recipes by Ted Allen (my commentary in parentheses)

Simply Steak

serves 2

2 high-quality steaks, each about 10 ounces each and 1 inch thick (I went with top sirloin found at my grocery co-op, Missippi Market, you can't find it this good in a Cub Foods)

1 Tablespoon kosher salt

1 Tablespoon freshly ground black pepper (this means from a peppermill, go buy one)

1 Tablespoon extra virgin olive oil (I bought this at Mississippi Market as well)

1 Tablespoon of unsalted butter (I used the herbed butter found later in this post)

Preheat the oven to 450 F.

Season the steaks on both sides with the salt and pepper, then massage in the olive oil with your fingers. Heat a cast-iron skillet (go buy one, it's worth it) over high heat for 3 minutes, until very hot. Add the butter, When it melts, add the steaks. Let them sizzle away for 1.5 minutes per side. Transfer the skillet to the oven, and cook for 6 minutes for rare, 8 minutes for medium-rare (if you want your steak more well done than this, stop reading right now and go to Ponderosa).

Carefully remove the VERY HOT SKILLET from the oven using an oven mitt. Remove the steaks from the pan, put them on a plate, and cover with foil. Let them rest 5 minutes before serving. Don't skip that step.

645 calories per serving

Herbed Butter

1 stick unsalted butter, softened

.5 Teaspoon minced fresh basil (not dried from the spice rack)

.5 Teaspoon minced fresh chives

.5 Teaspoon of oregano or marjoram

.25 Teaspoon salt

Pinch freshly ground white pepper

In a small bowl, combine all the ingredients and mash together with a fork. Dump the butter onto a large sheet of plastic wrap and roll it up into a cylinder, 1.5 inches in diameter. Wrap up the cylinder and put in the fridge to firm up.

Twice-baked Potatoes with Cheddar and Caramelized Onions

serves 2

2 large Yukon gold potatoes

4 Tablespoons unsalted (or herbed) butter

2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

2 medium onions, halved and thinly sliced

.75 Cup grated sharp Cheddar cheese (grate it yourself, it's better)

.25 Cup whole milk

2 Teaspoons salt

1 Teaspoon freshly ground pepper

Preheat the oven to 400 F.

Prick the potatoes all over with a fork. Place them on a foil lined baking sheet and cook for 1 hour, or until totally tender when pierced with the tip of a knife.

Meanwhile, prepare the onions: In the biggest skillet you have, melt 2 Tablespoons of the butter with the olive oil over medium heat. Add the onion slices and cook, stirring frequently, for 5 minutes, until they take on just a little bit of color. Reduce the heat to very low and let cook for 30 to 40 minutes, until a soothing golden color and a soft, soft consistency. Set aside.

Remove the cooked potatoes from the oven and reduce the temperature to 350 F. When the potatoes are cool enough to handle, halve lengthwise. Using a large spoon, scoop out most of the flesh, leaving behind a .25 inch thick cup of potato skin. Set the cups aside.

Place the flesh in a medium mixing bowl. Add the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter, the cheese, milk, and the salt and pepper. Loosely mash with a fork or potato masher just to the point of incorporating the flavors, not a full puree. Taste and add more salt and pepper if you think it needs it.

Mound the mashed potato mixture back into the cups, and top with the caramelized onions.

Place the cups on the baking sheet and return them to the oven. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes. Allow to rest for 5 minutes before serving. Top with a sprinkle of chives.

298 calories per serving...but so worth it!

Hot, Garlicky Rainbow Chard with Almonds

serves 2

2 lbs rainbow chard (I only ended up using 1 lb)

2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

2 Teaspoons crushed red pepper flakes

2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced

.75 cup slivered almonds

1 Teaspoon salt

.4 Teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the chard and cook for 2 minutes, until wilted and tender. Drain in a colander, rinse with cold water and allow to cool slightly. Using your hands, squeeze out as much of the water as possible. Pat dry with paper towels. Coarsely chop into large pieces and, again, pat dry with paper towels.

In a large skillet over medium flame, heat the olive oil. Add the pepper flakes and the garlic and saute for 30 seconds, until fragrant. Add the chopped chard and slivered almonds and saute, stirring once or twice, for 5 minutes; the chard should take on a little bit of brownness. Mix in the salt and pepper, taste, and add more if you want. Serve hot.

62 calories per serving

Tools Used

Pepper Mill
Cast Iron Skillet
Nonstick Skillet
Mixing Bowls
Measuring Cups
Measuring Spoons
Oven Mitts
Rotary Grater
Large Pot
Baking Sheet
Various Knives

Most of these items are available for sale from my friend Nicole's webstore, The Pampered Chef. Those you cannot find there, can be found at Amazon.

Found a New Wine Bar!!!

2011-09-03T08:08:00.001-07:00

I'm not sure that it's gonna be MY wine bar of choice, but they do have excellent wines, as evidenced by my purple toothed grin upon leaving the establishment.