Fourth of July weekend special

Gunaxin - Hot women of the fourth of July.

No these are not Cuzoogle specials but a few of them made us laugh enough that we wanted to share.

The Sports Tsar did up some photoshopping to show what may happen as NBA free agency plays out.

Show some love to our Russian comrade and check them out.

In case you have missed any of our recent photoshops, you can see them all by clicking this little linky thing.

Header provided by GrandmasterB. Contact him for all your graphical needs.

Here is what we are smokin’ today.

Manofest - The Incredible mini-Hulk..
Busted Coverage - Go inside the White Sox parking lot drunk tank.
The Angry T - The 10 most likeable athletes.
Uncoached - The World Series of Poker turns 40.
Next Round - The Megan Fox sex soundboard.
DJ Mick - Britney Spears new single, Radar.
Gunaxin - Bill Simmons: NBA GM.
The Bachelor Guy - Recipe for Buffalo wing sauce cookies.
Yep Yep - Celeb crotch-grabber imitators.
Banned in Hollywood - Quarterback spikes ball into his nuts.
Don Chavez - Man’s best friend tat.
Blog of Hilarity - The worst Best Man speech?
Unreality - The 20 best uses of R2-D2.
Tasty Booze - Tasty Booze has their own stickers.
Loser With Socks - Heath Shuler’s proxy.
Hoop Doctors - Interview with Danny Granger.
Moon Dog Sports - Happy birthday Pamela Anderson.
Epic Carnival - Anna Kournikova doing sexy things.
Hail Mary Jane - Great list of demotivational posters.

Still need more?

Go over to

Want to get smoked? Submit a link to us.

When we say join, we don’t mean meet up with them at a bar. We mean audition and join one of the hottest dance teams in the NBA.

Here is the job description for those interested.

Date: Sunday July 26th, 2009
Location: Air Canada Centre, 40 Bay St., Enter Through Gate 1
Registration: 9:00-10:00 a.m., Gate 1
Auditions Begin at 10:00 a.m.
Be Prepared to stay as long as necessary. Final dance auditions and interviews will take place in the afternoon.

What We’re Looking For:
# Female Dancers – 18 and older (must be 18 by day of the audition). We strongly encourage ages 22-30 to come out and audition!!
# Dancers must have the ability to show an extreme level of enthusiasm, confidence, and poise.
# Dancers must be physically fit and have strong athletic skills and endurance.
# Dancers must be dedicated, professional, hard working and strong team players.
# Minimum 2 years dance/performance experience in Jazz and Hip Hop.
# 14-16 team members.
# There is no minimum or maximum height requirements.

You must also provide a resume and a current non-returnable 5×7 or 8×10 headshot.

What To Expect:
Dancers will be taught a basic jazz routine combined with hip hop. All participants who advance will be asked to perform the routine in small groups. Music will be provided. A number of cuts will be made throughout the audition. The audition is closed, spectators will not be permitted.

Judging:
Judges will focus on enthusiasm, energy, dance ability, figure, personal appearance, personality, poise and showmanship.

What To Wear:
# An attractive two-piece dance outfit (Half top and fitted shorts. Any style and colour) with flesh-coloured nylons.
# Mid-area, legs and arms must be exposed.
# No baggy clothing or street wear. No pants, leggings, capri’s or cover ups.
# Full performance make-up and styled hair. Hair must be down, no ponytails.
# Participants may wear any kind of dance shoe, please make sure they have non-marking soles.

What To Bring:
# A resume and a current non-returnable 5×7 or 8×10 headshot. Your headshot will be used for identification purposes only.
# Snacks and plenty of water.
# Make-up and hair products for touch-ups.

Commitment Information:
# Final team members must be available for a mandatory meeting the week after the audition. Date and location to be announced.
# Mandatory team rehearsals – Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays 7:00-10:00pm August through April (or until end of playoffs).
# Mandatory team meetings.
# Pre-Season games – October.
# 41+ Regular Season Home Games – November to April. Schedule is available in August.
# Public appearances and events.

There you have it. For all of you who were contacting us about this info, now you know.

If you want to build up a fan base and get extra attention, Cuzoogle is more than happy to feature you. Just contact us.

To see this year’s Dance Pak you can go here.

Today is Canada Day. For those readers not up to speed on what that means, it is the same as the United States calling the 4th of July, America Day.

It is Canada’s birthday and the whole country gets the day off to celebrate however they want.

Unlike what some people on Twitter think, we do not spend the day listening to Barenaked Ladies, do some curling, and eat maple syrup birthday cake.

We have fireworks, go to the park and BBQ up a feast just like our friends down south do (minus the red, white and blue).

Since it surprised us that there were people out there who did not know what Canada Day was, we figured it was a good time to list a bunch of awesome things about the country Cuzoogle calls home.

Here are 25 awesome things that we love about Canada…eh.

1. Birthplace of Hoops and Steve Nash

2. Canadian bacon, enough said

3. It is cool to grow a beard in the spring

4. Beer that does not suck

5. Don’t have to sell the house if you break your finger

6. Babes, babes and more babes

See more here

7. Funny people

8. Football with three downs

9. Early Thanksgiving

10. Colourful money

11. National symbol is a Beaver

12. The Littlest Hobo is better than Lassie

13.The BlackBerry

14. We put gravy and cheese curd on our fries

15. Ketchup that does not taste like ass

16. Dill pickle chips

17. The number 99 is immortal

18. Jack Bauer is one of us

19. So is Kim Bauer

20. B.C. pot will take you to much higher places

21. Drinking age is 18 or 19

22. Mike Holmes fixes things better than anyone

23. SCTV shaped what comedic television is today

24. Alex F’in Trebek

25.Home to the greatest trophy in sports

What do you think is awesome about Canada?

Follow us on Twitter @cuzoogle and let us know.

From the Hoop Doctors

The NBA offseason is officially firing on all cylinders and free agency is now upon us. Although we’ll have to wait to until next year to see where the big-time studs like LeBron, Wade and Bosh end up, this year’s class of free agents aren’t exactly a bunch of slouches. There are a number of players who can immediately turn a team into a legitimate contender. Here is a list of the top 5 free agents who can turn a team’s fortunes around.

To read the list you can go here.

Our thoughts after reading the list is that Hedo Turkoglu is going to be the best of the bunch to get. Sure he may suck at the end of a long term deal but that is how the NBA rolls.

Sign him now and he adds so much to a team ready to get back in the playoffs or win a title.  Are you reading this BC?

Hedo and Il Muggo would be a killer combo for the Raptors and a matchup nightmare for other teams.

Every Tuesday we take a poll around the office and feature a lovely lady that we all have a bit of a crush on. Now with any crush it can pass pretty quick but for this week at least, enjoy the photos.

Wow it  has been a whole month since we posted a crush. Sorry for the delay everyone. It certainly does not mean there have been no girls of interest since the end of May.  Just a lot of stuff going on.

Mary-Louise Parker is probably on a lot of guy’s radars, so we know it is not splitting the atom here. But we just started watching the new season of Weeds and got a quick reminder of how much we love to watch Nancy do her thing.

So to get back in the routine of a weekly crush, we offer you Mary-Louise Parker.

To see all of our previous crushes, you can go here.

What’s G? The heart, hustle and flow of Pops Mensah-Bonsu!

The Toronto Raptors announced Monday they have extended a qualifying offer to Pops. To bad the offer is for slightly more than $1 million with absolutely no guarantees. That makes it highly unlikely he’ll sign it.

But because the Raps made the offer, they retain the right to match any offer Pops gets as a restricted free agent, protecting themselves if BC makes a deal to clear up a frontcourt logjam.

This is awesome news if it actually works out. Pops was one of the hardest working, hustle guys the Raps had during the garbage period of their season last year.

Mensah-Bonsu averaged 5.1 points, 5.4 rebounds and 13.8 minutes in 19 games with the Raptors.

Short of him going all Jamario Moon Part II, Pops will be a great guy to have on the team and he will find playing time under Jay Triano’s system.

Hell his name is just fun to say.

Hell, so would a few NFL teams

The Lake Elsinore Storm and High Desert Mavericks combined for 51 runs and 57 hits in a California League game Sunday, won 33-18 by the Storm.

Lake Elsinore is a single-A affiliate of the San Diego Padres.

Felix Carrasco drove in six runs for Lake Elsinore and was one of five Storm players with four hits.

High Desert hit five homers, two by Kuo Hui Lo, who was one of four Mavericks players with four RBIS.

Lake Elsinore starter Jeremy McBryde allowed 13 hits and 11 earned runs in 4 2-3 innings. Matt Teague got the win in relief, allowing eight hits and three runs in 3 1-3 innings.

Starter Nathan Addock took the loss, allowing seven hits and eight runs while registering two outs.

Let these teams have a shot at the bottom feeders of MLB and see what happens.

All we can say is we hope you took the over in this one.