Cynic in Wonderland

In which we attempt to ressisutate the blog by posting all the book reviews scattered all over the place....

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 03:50:00 +0000

Royal Babylon- The alarming history of European Royalty, Karl Shaw

#bookreview.

So we recently hosted the pesky Omicron at our place.

Apart from the more well known symptoms, it seems to have also caused a whole host of rather baffling side effects .

For example, I have been playing arcade games (not a big fan) or listening to indipop after 25 years ( not 'Made in India', but a very close shave) and reading books by Karl Shaw( and now Michael Farquhar) rather obsessively.

Nothing wrong with these books but well after decades of

a) Not being even remotely interested in monarchy-( I've have zero POV on Marklegate or Epstein saga except vaguely registering it somewhere)

b) Not being at all princessy(much to my 6yo's annoyance)

c) Or particularly interested in reading history per se (too many uncomfortable memories of school report days and the History teachers despairing looks)

So cannot explain this weird recent interest with the gallivanting Georges or the Henry of the Head-detaching fame.

So coming to the book - Royal Babylon. I'm not quite sure what is the correct adjective is for this book. It's.... illuminating?

We have all been brought up on a diet of fairly tales and the Disney Prince charming and dainty, delicate Princesses so the reality is like a bucket, nay a waterfall, of ice cold water.

The monarchy has not been described as any of those - rather it's scheming, sybiatric, sadistic and syphilitic. The princesses are anything but delicate - variously described as dwarfish, nymphomaniac, kleptomaniac, with raging affairs and just rage.

Most of the king's have been described as insane (whether it's George III or Ludwig of Bavaria (ironically he's the one who built Neuschwanstein the inspiration for the Disney castle)) or psychopathic.

You have that charming royal who thought it would be interesting to pickle his wifes lover in a jar and keep it on her bedside table, or the other who thought getting an courtier to bite a corpse would be a fun party trick.

But, the writing. I don't know whether it was because I was fevered but it seemed rather disjointed - going back and forth, erratic and jumpy which didn't make for particularly good reading. It was funny in bits but seemed forced and quite cringey in many other places.

At some points it looked very vindictive, rather below-the-belt tabloidisque rant rather than well researched history. But to be fair, I believe that this was one of his earlier books, I've just started Bad, mad and dangerous to know which seems a tad more put together.

So in conclusion?

3/5 if you have covid and need something to read which doesn't require you to follow any plotline or you know, use your brains.

1.5/5 otherwise

P.S. Have a feeling this post is as disjointed as the book it is critiquing. Pliss excuseh

Why kids under 10 should come with a mute button

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Mon, 05 Jan 2015 04:09:00 +0000

So minicyn is a not so mini and a very garrulous 4 yo right now. Thus, we have some scintillating sessions such as this one a few months ago.

Fancy french type restaurant - you know, the ones,with those twisty dinner rolls and dressy decor.

Junior, bored of sitting around decides to circumbulate the restaurant. Just happens to cross a sophisticated middle aged lady who might be having some erm...digestive issues.
Comes back to our table, and in clear, carrying tones asks "Mamma, why is that aunty ( pointing at the offending lady) doing potty in the restaurant?"

HNY and all that from this side of 2015

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Mon, 05 Jan 2015 03:53:00 +0000

One of the new year resolutions is to restart writing - so let me start with New Year wishes to any reader who still visits the page. Let me also fall at your feet in gratitude for still visiting the page.

Happy New Year folks. Hope its the best yet.

Baker's Cyn

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Tue, 19 Aug 2014 11:11:00 +0000

So I have started this baking thing recently.

Is anyone having images of a soccer-mom-suburban-type-apple-and-cinnamon crumble baking Cyn?

Perish the though.

I had never got into this baking gig. Mostly because the descriptions of the mother/mil baking escapades sounded tedious and intimidating (and one could get the cake so easily in bakeries –why reinvent?) . All that sifting all purpose flour (I didn't know what all purpose flour was till quite recently. It just sounded vaguely magical and omniscient), and beating eggs and what not.

And historically, my cooking tends to be what I call whimsical and my mother calls “cant-you-follow-one-effing-recipe-properly?”Baking I am led to understand is a bit like science experiments, if recipes are not measured out stuff can explode.

So what changed?

Well I joined this off-shoot school group of chefs (Yes. Every group needs the backbencher - and I fit that role beautifully). These good folks are bakers with the capital B. Black forest cakes with icing (I don’t think it ever registered that someone actually makes these. I suppose I thought they spontaneously materialize in the bakery or something) . They bake breads like soda bread and herbed garlic bread and foccacia. They make cookies, and granola bars and one of them even makes half a dozen dishes for dinner every day.

After months of this, I was shamed into attempting the first cake.

In other developments, we finally got a working oven. After bidding a fond and tearful adieu to the MILs 56 year old one. She did call her favorite technician for a last ditch resuscitation attempt, but when I saw him cheerfully sticking metal pipes with fevikwik thought that I would much rather not have a gas leak in the house. So hallelujah, I have burners and oven that actually burn and bake.

AND I have a hyperactive four year old boy who needs entertaining on rainy days.

So voila, Cyn the Baker was born.

Had the initial hiccups - of wondering whether baking soda and powder were the same things (they are not – they have “different actions” whatever that may be) and happily using my chai ka cup as a measuring cup for the first few attempts before I realized that you get something called a measuring cup.

I have still not understood why the batter must be mixed with a wooden spoon and steel or a plastic one won’t do.

It’s been baby steps - carrot cake (which is rocking), the brownie (which is brilliantly easy) and a mango cake where I decided to do some extempore baking. (There is only so much of discipline I can take Gah) in which I managed to make the batter so incredibly dense that the blender had a stroke and died. (Strangely enough the resultant output wasn’t terrible as I expected. Consequently, I have become a fan of baking powder).

Ah well, maybe I WILL turn into a domestic diva after all.

(God Forbid)

The seven year rash

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Mon, 28 Jul 2014 05:18:00 +0000

So the hero goes for an onsite in a firangi land.

On his return, he distributes some loot for assorted family members.

For me, with a flourish he produces,,

.... five pairs of washing and kitchen gloves.

"You catch a cold if you wash your hands without these isn't it?"

And as clincher ( of our deep and mutual understanding) he declares " I even got the right size!!"

I'm almost tempted to marry him again.

Ciw has a Facebook page

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Sun, 12 Jan 2014 07:00:00 +0000

So on the tenth anniversary year of my blog, I decided to commemorate by starting a Facebook page.

Gah, who am I kidding. The offline avatar page was getting too crowded. When parents second cousins in law start sending friend requests you know it's time to move on.

Also my mother reads my statuses and calls me for a post mortem on them. It's very stressful.

Anyways if I do have any readers left, I'd love to see you on that side.

DYAC

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Wed, 26 Jun 2013 04:18:00 +0000

Have a rather cryptic entry on my phone to-do list which states "get rid of body".

Racked my brains but can't for the life of me remember whose body and where it has been hidden. Hmmm.

I love auto correct. It edits my life to add so much drama into it.

P.S. Shamelessly recycling from elsewhere ( blog resuscitation measures pliss excuse)

Purani Genes

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Fri, 21 Jun 2013 06:29:00 +0000

So, flashback to say 7-8 years ago.

Cyn and Hero in the process of getting acquainted which involves some amount of smallish talk.

Cyn must have asked an innocuous "How was the day" to be met by a tirade about how that is such a lame question and how he finds females who ask such a question unoriginal and how he has devised a beautiful pithy reply to that viz."TOPS".

Cyn retires, much abashed.

Fast forward to now.

Hero no 2 has just started nursery school (which happens to be the school which the Hero went to)

Hero (sentimental after looking at the tuck shop and the school diary) rushes home from office to eagerly ask the offspring "So how was school today?"

Hero no 2 laconically drawls "Awright"

Hero's face? Priceless.

Genetics are very lovely (especially when they come back to the bite the spouse in the a**)

P.S. I am trying to get this up and running again and get into the flow of blogging. IS ANYONE READING DAMN IT?

Mere saamne wali khidki mein...

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Thu, 20 Jun 2013 12:10:00 +0000

So we have recently got new neighbors upstairs and I have to admit I am a bit baffled by them.

We have one of those houses where the their dining overlooks my balcony-which-the-builder-insists-is-terrace which is quite conducive to cosy neighborly chats. While I didn't quite hit that level of camaraderie with the earlier set, we used to occasionally do some casual talk and Junior and kid-from-upstairs would swap important toddler talk.

This new lady however dives for cover behind every time I happen to stroll out. I can see the curtains twitching and the occasional furtive glance downwards but never, ever an acknowledgement that I am there. I tried the hello and smiling bit, to no avail.

I used to think that it was my face which used to scare her away. But apparently she does the same with my mother AND mother in law. ( And no, we don't have a family feud or anything remotely interesting happening)

And If i do happen to bump into her in the foyer, she refuses to make eye contact and rushes away.

But the most mysterious bit is that she seems to have struck a friendship with the bai. Every other day I can hear them chatting outside. And all information which I have got so far ( such as the fact that she has recently had a baby boy) I have got second hand from the bai.

Yesterday, Ma happened to be outside, so she asked her about the child and his name. Mrs Neighbour, directed all the answers to the bai and also issued a very friendly invitation ( to the bai, not to Ma) to attend the naming ceremony this coming Friday

We don't seem to make the cut however. Hmmm.

Of hair and there

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Wed, 19 Jun 2013 13:54:00 +0000

So apparently in China there is a new trend to dissuade perverts and oglers.

Hot young things are queuing up to buy the latest fashion accessory-viz.Stockings which have hair on them.

For once I'm on the leading edge of couture. I also own a pair of stockings like that.

Only, I call it skin

P.s. trying this from phone, looking ok?

And we come to marriage year 6

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Tue, 29 May 2012 05:27:00 +0000

The hero goes for a swim with a newish colleague of his. Comes back all harassed and fraught..

"That dude told me his life story" he tells me, aghast. "And then he started telling me about what all he felt. In gory detail!

"FEELINGS. Jesus" - said with utmost loathing..

( Sidebar - after a few years of cohabitating with a male, have come to the following understanding.

Acceptable feelings - a) i'm FEELING hungry b) I'm FEELING sleepy c) I FEEL like uhmm.. passing various bodily functions which we shant get into in a family site.

Unacceptable feelings?Everything else.)

"Ugh" some dramatic shudders here "If I wanted to sit and listen to garbage about feelings - I might as well have sat at home and listened to yours"

Ah the romance of it kills me sometimes.

Some twatting and tweeting #1

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 06:18:00 +0000

I work to support my maid habit.

Shameful!!.

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 06:16:00 +0000

...that I have not posted anything this year. I have realized my brain has gone into twitter mode - it thinks in 140 bytes. So the new resolution is that I shall tweet here. Its MY blog. Gah. ( Have I lost all my readers or are there any old faithfuls still around?)

Also Happy New Year.

Letters from Goa: Wishes

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 03:43:00 +0000

...For a wonderful new year

Honeytrap..

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 11:32:00 +0000

Overheard..

The MIL to Junior ( now eight months), "Come, Lets take you out to the balcony and I'll show you the birds and the bees."

Hmm. I REALLY thought potty training came before sex education.

Hibernate

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 13:47:00 +0000

Please excuse folks, serious hibernitis is happening. I havent spoken to anyone online or offline ( not even my daily dose of mo, and poor austro has been bearing the online equivalent of hanging up half a dozen times at least).

Any suggestions, medications, inspirations - welome.

Gee, Strung!

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 08:44:00 +0000

The location - a hotel lobby somewhere in India
The characters - a Mother in law, Daughter in law

DiL walks into the lobby and suddenly sees her MiL gesticulating urgently at her, indicating that she would like a word in private.
DiL obligingly walks into a poky corner, where the MIL whispers emphatically "ADJUST YOUR G-STRING, it's showing"
DiL, decorously attired in a modest salwar kameez goes "Huh? Whaa?"
MiL,"The g-string, the g-string - you can see it" points to the offending erm..garment

The garment happens to be the end of the salwar string (nada) which can be seen under the edge of the kurta.

Fact, is funnier than fiction.

Random Thought in the middle of the night- Digest 5: Versectonomy

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Sun, 31 Oct 2010 10:27:00 +0000

IrrItAblE vOwEl syndrOmE : The urge to randomly toggle between upper and lower case letters in any given statement.

Irritable Novel Syndrome: The pain of the never being able to write beyond chapter five

Irritable Towel Syndrome: Ranbir Kapoor in Sawariya

P.S. Irritable Owl Syndrome: Chronic insomnia which results in tripe like this

Ganpati Bappa

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 07:51:00 +0000

Wish you a very happy Ganesh Chaturti.

P.S. No, I haven't disappeared to have another kid, thank you very much. Just that I am SOOOOOOOOOO Blogcked right now its not even funny. Zillion thoughts which somehow just don't get translated into posts. I have noticed that every time there is a major life change my posts seem to dry up. Hmmm.

I need a ghost writer. Or preferably, a ghost thinker.

P.P.S Please don't stop reading me? Pretty please? ( Don't make me lisp. Hmpf). You could look at Archives. Six years worth! (*Gasps*. Has it been that long?)

Random thought in the middle of the night: Digest 4 - Weigh your words

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 05:33:00 +0000

Aren't Gubernatorial and Ombudsman very FAT words? No, I dont mean long but fat. Every time I hear these two,they sound positively corpulent.

Wonder why.

Are there any others? Or skinny words for that matter?

White Noise from the Cynic Kitchen or Aubergine and Tangerine

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 08:43:00 +0000

A few times a year, usually when the MIL is out of town, I seem to be taken over by this Mad (Cooking) Scientist.

Maybe my palate revolts against the Maharashtrian food ( And cabbage. I dont know why,the but there seems to be a cabbage sitting in my fridge every fricking day. I don't like cabbage. The hero doesn't like cabbage. I don't even remember buying so much of it. But somehow, there it is smugly sitting in the fridge gloating at me every morning. Hmm). Or maybe there is a domestic goddess (Perspherone?) who comes out only seasonally. So the last few days, we have been eating very interesting food.

I have realized that my cooking is what can charitably be described as whimsical (Others might call it chaotic). I usually start with the most minuscule but exotic sounding ingredient and then chuck in whatever I happen to find in the fridge to accompany it. The current flavor of the season ( pun unintended) is Cayenne Pepper. How can one not like the sound of that? So have been adding it liberally to whatever gets cooked in the house. And giving the resultant output vaguely West Indianish names. Calypso Paneer, Jamaican Curry, Kingston Prawn...ahem, no, got carried away with the last one. Half the fun of cooking new things is naming them.

I go to this rather interesting shop in the area which has all these fascinating sauces - nam pla, tamari sauce ( I used to think that was a hip version of tamarind) to just gawk at them. (No I don't buy them. This fellow only stocks these huge half-litre vats and they are bloody expensive.) Also I don't have a clue about what to do with them.

That's the conflict which I have with Aubergine as well. Any vegetable as blah as brinjal should not be allowed to have such an interesting alter ego. I see Aubergine recipes, and I get sorely tempted to try it too. But then I go to the greengrocers and what do i see? Brinjal. Its very demoralizing. Hmpf. I think Ill just write a song called Aubergine and Tangerine (Sounds like Ebony and Ivory no?)

And, just for the record, and before young manu asks, there have been no disasters so far.Hmpf.

Cyn-la-carte

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 05:26:00 +0000

What does one do when one has a very painful skin infection (which has resurfaced in a month) and the allopathic remedy for that is a very strong antibiotic?
What does one do if those antibiotics cause severe drowsiness and dizziness?
What does one do if drowsiness and dizziness is NOT a good idea when one is managing a three month old baby and is home alone?

One wades through the Internet and tries all sorts of home remedies.

So far, one has applied the following to one's skin

Potato in their jackets
Crushed Garlic
Cut Onion
Crushed Pepper Corns

Now we just need a dash of mayo and a pinch of salt, and voila Cynic-Potato Salad is ready for consumption

Tomorrows recipe : Cynful Aloo Methi with Jeera

P.S. I wonder whether I should put myself up on bhajifried.

The labour of waiting.

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 07:14:00 +0000

Continued from here

So a few months ago, the hero and I went to see the hospital rooms and facilities at the behest (such a nice, euphemistic term for nagging no?) of the mothers.

So we see some of the rooms, not the really scary ones and eventually wind up in the waiting room where a few expectant fathers are lounging around.

The hero, then comes up with the following

"Hey, you know what? I should get one of those air-mattresses C ( his Brother in law ) has for this room. So I can lie down and rest on it while you are in labour. These plastic chairs look most uncomfortable"

Meluha Bound

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 11:29:00 +0000

I am on a fairly random reading spree these days – and just finished reading the Immortals of Meluha by one Amish Tripathi. I am still not quite sure what to make of that book.

Conceptually it’s interesting. It goes to the heart of Indian mythology and plucks out Lord Shiva and weaves a story around him, in a manner calculated to appeal to contemporary tastes.

The tale follows the life of Lord Shiva – with the underlying premise that he was NOT a God, but a mortal, a tribal chieftain who did extraordinary deeds and consequently legend made him into a God. It starts with his entry as an ‘immigrant’ into Meluha – an almost ideal country, and is turned into “Neelkanth” there and traces his life – whether its his romance with the emperor’s daughter Sati or his war on evil. (This is the first of the trilogy, so we need to see how the story progresses)

It was, well, like reading a hybridized version of Dan Brown and Chetan Bhagat.

The concept might have been inspired by the former - viz. take up divinity and holy cowisque subjects ( pun unintended) and attempt to build a racy ( and hopefully controversial) pulp fictional tale out of it. (As an aside, I kept on thinking of Ilium by Dan Simmons as well – the whole myth angle juxtaposed with modern concepts perhaps.. Ilium was bizarre though - the way it kept on jumping between eras gave me jet lag).

And the atrociously pedestrian language is certainly of the latter.(Chetan Bhagat has done a grave disservice to Indian literature. I know that Indian writing was laboured and pedantic BC*. But AD seems to be characterized by utterly casual lowest-common-denominator fiction.) This book has these so called italicized thoughtblurbs of Lord Shiva, which make one cringe (the English equivalent of “Kutte kameene mein tera khoon pi jaoonga”).

Let me take the comparison further - Dan Brown, while he lacks the erudition of say, Umberto Eco, did manage to throw some historical and cultural nuggets at one in Da Vinci/Angels and Demons. Amish on the other hand, littered his books with names and references, but there was no depth whatsoever. So one would have the book crowded with Brahaspatis, Veerbhadra and Daksha without etching them out at all ( not to mention the rather cutesy references – Nandi as an extremely overweight captain with the chosen tribe of Bull.).

The other big difference between Brown and Tripathi was that there was a consistent tenor through the novels in Browns book. Tripathi on the other hand started out with Lord Shiv as a human but then backtracked by introducing a number of Devas and Asuras and immortality which confused things.

The writer of this certainly scores over Bhagat on two counts - he has taken an interesting subject ( I am obsessed with mythology after all) and there might be certain homework which has gone into the creation of this book - so it doesn’t read like a horny collegians delusional ramblings. Though one wished he would have just raised the whole thing by a couple of notches. (The feeling I had while reading it was akin to when goes for a head massage and the masseuse while working in the generally right area consistently misses the spots which could make the whole experience divine ( pun unintended again)!)

I will probably read the sequels too. Ah well.

*BC= Before Chetan: Sorry, couldnt help myself.
** AD= After Dumbkoff (Sorry, couldnt resist that either)
P.S. Finished reading “Two states” sometime back, might explain the vitriol
P.P.S Extremely random post - what to do? house arrest and sleep deprivation continues...

Random question..

noreply@blogger.com (Cynic in Wonderland) — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 13:42:00 +0000

Would Google be male or female? Why do you say so?