Cyph Blog

Writer's Guild Podcast: Episode 1

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:26:00 -0800

Writer's Guild Podcast: Episode 1

Available now on most major podcasts apps including iTunes & Stitcher.

@Writers_guild14 @CyphaOmnu @CobraTwin

Interracial Odd Couple: Episode 1

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 13:15:00 -0800

Interracial Odd Couple: Episode 1

Available now on most major podcasts apps including iTunes & Stitcher.

@CyphaOmni @LadyN79

Writer's Guild - Two Halves of the Same Brain Hosted by at MixTapeFactory.com

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:30:00 -0800

Writer's Guild - Two Halves of the Same Brain Hosted by at MixTapeFactory.com

New episodes with a new twist (Season 2)

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Tue, 26 Aug 2014 01:34:00 -0700

The "Interracial Odd Couple" with Lady N are coming soon.

Cypha Omni podcast on Stitcher/iTunes

New twitter page!

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Sun, 18 Aug 2013 14:04:00 -0700

New twitter page! @COComedyTV

https://twitter.com/COComedyTV

Come follow me and I shall follow you! Thanks for all the support everybody! More podcasts coming soon available through Stitcher and itunes!

Episode 29 with Lady N

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Mon, 15 Jul 2013 13:00:00 -0700

You guessed right, were not dead. Sorry to disappoint you. Silly as always podcast with my other half Lady N as we discuss the Travvon Martin verdict, children, how summer ruins every parent 3 months out of the year, dude selling his wife's wedding ring, and much more A.D.D'edinesses.

"Cypha Omni" Comedy Podcast on Stitcher & itunes
Cypha Omni Comedy TV on YouTube

C.O.C.P. Monthly Motivational "Where are your priorities? (Trayvon Martin R.I.P)"

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Mon, 15 Jul 2013 12:56:00 -0700

The Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast can be found on Stitcher, itunes, podOmatic, & youtube

Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast
"Monthly Motivational"

"Where are your priorities? (Trayvon Martin R.I.P)"

    As many of us have witnessed by now, unless your heads so far up your ass your nose is turning your inny into a outty, we received the “not guilty” verdict in the Martin - Zimmerman case. People have varying opinions, views, and I’m not siding one way or the other, generally speaking. My attention, as well as your attention, should be directed towards what Tracy Martin and Sybrina Fulto, Trayvon’s parents, have to live with and endure the rest of their lives, knowing their son is gone, will never return, and the man who took their son’s life, gets to walk away as a free man, with the same gun, only to possibly do something this senseless again.

    Take this time and opportunity to sit with your kids, if you haven’t yet, and explain to them the gravity of this terrible tragedy. Ask them how it has effected them and their friends. Just explaining the rights and wrongs of this situation isn’t and wont be enough, because in the reality of it all, this is a corrupt society and system we live in. Things don’t always play out to be fair, and it can just as easily be any of our children tomorrow. Sad but sobering truth.

    Its so easy for us to fixate on the negative of this case. The racial profiling, stereotyping, hate, bigotry, homophobia, and so forth. The ignorance of a grown man walking around playing top flight security with a loaded gun, no matter his ethnicity, should be enough to outrage any community. The unfortunate dilemma, is many of our immediate and local communities have these irresponsible, chip on their shoulder, bullied as a kid assholes who feel justified in not only their arrogance, but have yet to acknowledge their stupidity to the point of getting proper help. Look, if your wanting to be Walker Texas Ranger, go through the proper courses to become law enforcement or military. Too many of these undiagnosed psychological nut jobs go without being confronted about their actions, ignoring the safety of others, and as a result, lives inexplicably become ruined or lost.

    No parent wants to receive that cold knock at the door, or chilling phone call, that one of their children lost their lives, especially to senseless acts of violence or eh hmm cough snort excuse me SENSELESS ACTS OF SELF DEFENSE, that’s more like it. What business does anyone have shooting an unarmed individual? Last I checked, even cops lose their jobs for shooting an unarmed suspect, and Trayvon was far from a suspect., which leads me into saying this…

    Explain to young people why this case should really resonate in their lives, whether your kid is a victim of bullying for any reason, or a leader who can set an example and protect their fellow peers from being bullied and harassed. Many times, shit like this only hit’s the fan on a major scale, because a lot of times in my opinion with regards to Zimmerman’s case, he most likely grew up being stereotyped because of being a minority, and most likely got bullied and harassed through a good portion of his developmental stages, unattended to, only to let that level of hatred and ignorance fester up in him to the point he took a 17 year old young mans life. Where are your priorities as parents? Students? Teachers? Family? Instead of devoting energy into the hate part of this sad occurrence , lets focus our attention on what causes bullshit in the world like this to happen, where it starts, and what we can do, no matter our stations in life, to raise social awareness, and change the lives of many just by taking a stand. Hey, you never know, that one problem child in your neighborhood you don’t see a bright future for, may become a success and thank you later because you were the one responsible individual who took the time to say: Hey lil fucker! Bring yo lil ass over here for a minute. Let me holla at ya!

Episode 28 with current SCS MMA champion “Jei” Jeimeson Saudino

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Thu, 11 Jul 2013 12:14:00 -0700

Originally recorded 4/12/2013

Great podcast with current SCS MMA champion Jei Saudino, beginning with the announcement of his decision to try out for The Ultimate Fighter Season 18 next week, his predictions about the TUF season 17 season finale on April 13th, his picks for UFC 159 coming up April 27th, his beginnings in Brazil, what brought him to America, his start into MMA, his training, preparations for fights, what fighters he admires and why, and many more jewels of knowledge for the casual to avid MMA fan.

Special thank you to Jei Saudino

Jei Saudino on Facebook & Twitter

“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/youtube

Episode 27 with Me, Myself, & I

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Thu, 11 Jul 2013 12:12:00 -0700

Originally recorded 4/8/2013

Cypha Omni returns in solo fashion, giving updates & shout outs, pushing positivity, touches on sensitive subjects as marijuana use in additiion to his stance on homosexuality, UFC 159, the VFC, Iceland stopping gay porn, Kim Dong Goon, & much more a.d.d.edness!

"Cypha Omni" Comedy Podcast on Stiticher/itunes/youtube

Episode 26 with Marcio “The Locomotive” Navarro (Marcio Navarro)

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 10:28:00 -0800

Great podcast with current ISKA world kickboxing champion, current XFL champion, MMA fighter Marcio “The Locomotive” Navarro, conversing about everything Martial Arts, UFC 156 predictions, his humble beginnings in Brazil up to becoming a world champion, his victory at Bellator 56, what its like fighting on big stages, how he prepares himself & his fighters mentally, physically etc, coaching & training techniques, advice for beginner & experienced MMA fighters & Martial Artist, his MMA match coming up March 2nd in Wichita, KS, & more.

Marcio Navarro on Twitter: @navarro_mma
Facebook: Marcio Navarro
Marcionavarro.com
Laselvamma.com

“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/youtube/podOmatic

Episode 25 with Lady N

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Sun, 20 Jan 2013 12:55:00 -0800

Starts off solo with me bailing my dog out of jail, counting down the top 10 worst songs of all time everybody knew, then at the the 25min mark, my lovely other half makes a crash appearance on the podcast, talking about dogs & kids for sale, sucking dirty cocks, sex ed, kids jerking off, & of course more insanity!

"Cypha Omni" Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/podomatic/youtube

Rate, review, subscribe! Thanks guys! Happy new yuh!

C.O.C.P. Monthly Motivational “1 Answer to all your New Years Resolutions...

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:59:00 -0800

The Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast can be found on Stitcher, itunes, podOmatic, & youtube

Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast
"Monthly Motivational"

"1 Answer to all your New Years Resolutions..."

    Got that new project you started last June to finish? Is your husbands football team out of the playoffs, which allows you to start tackling those in home projects on Sundays that you started before Thanksgiving? Start that new gym membership you know good and damn well you'll cancel by March? Well whatever your goals are, weight loss, make more doe, win a decathlon, fuck a midget, there’s one simple answer to all your goals, needs, & ills.

    What are some of things you do when you start to set your goals and aspirations? A check list? Take notes? Set standards, deadlines? One problem I tend to create in the process of setting new bars, is trying to attain too much at one time. Its not easy to compartmentalize, adapt, and prepare for the unknown results that could send you to the next level, or fall head first from a shaky based structure.

    Setting reasonable goals is a start. Its in a humans nature and tendency to set a lot of goals from the onset, and quickly get lost in trying to obtain it all, when the best tactic in my opinion is to set 1 goal at a time. There’s only 1 you when it comes to household chores, in other words you cant clean the bathroom, vacuum the living room, suck your hubbys dick and make him a sandwich at the same time. If you can, Michael Keaton would be proud, I’d call you a bad muthafucka, and ask you for a business card. Why would it be any different with setting life goals and achievements?

    If you really think about it, and subscribe to prehistoric humans being hunters and gatherers, our biological makeup isn’t designed for the high speed plethora of information coming at us from every orifice of technology every nano-second, not to mention all the stresses that come at us in the form of cooperate slavery, tattoos and piercing’s in the form of puberty, and father time laughing at your knees sounding like rice crispys in milk every morning. Were technically not a lot different from our ancestors of at least 40,000 years ago, when they were throwing pointed sticks at there escaping dinners, fucking without condoms, and smoking weed to alter the pain of a crocodile biting your dick off as we lived loin cloth-less in the bare elements. Now its a suit and tie, hard hats, stripper poles, and can I take your orders to survive. Until we live in a global based economy that thrives off natural resources without monetary gain, guess what, goals are basically not a option, but a must if we want not only our personal lives to enjoy some benefits, but the lives of everyone around us, including our bad, dumb ass kids.

    I don’t know about you, but I, like many, have a lot of goals I’d love to achieve in 2013 to enhance my life, but until then as we embark on our own respective journeys, we have to develop the will, drive, and the determination of a dope fiend saling you a fly swatter and a pack of donuts for his next hit. Well whats the answer? Quit being a lazy fuck! Get off that scrotum, cup your nuts, and go out and take what you feel you deserve for yourself and the others around you, otherwise your goals will continue to be just that, and not accomplishments.

Episode 24 with Bloody Hands

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 10:58:00 -0800

My brother, & lyrical phenom, Bloody Hands is back on the program laying rhymes, talking about hip hop, rap, rap battles, UFC battles, & boxing battles. We also pay respect to the families who have lost their children in the tragic shooting this past week in Connecticut, & more.

“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/youtube

Episode 23 Scotty Jones Roast

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 09:13:00 -0800

(12/8/12) The live taping of the Roast of Scotty Jones, owner of The Port of Wichita. Special thanks to the audience, Scotty Jones himself, Port staff, Raquel W, Matt N, mystery tranny roaster, & all the supporters of the night.

“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/youtube

Episode 22 with Lady N

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Mon, 12 Nov 2012 11:38:00 -0800

Ridiculous late night episode with me & my other crazy half Lady N. We talk about the legalization of marijuana, December 21st 2012, Don Ray Walton’s inspired message to the human race about the coming of aliens from aliens, the supernatural, our game plan for the zombie apocalypse, bonus recording of Lady N’s list of things she’d do to me if she were to die first & haunt me, how aluminum foil is your best defense against alien invaders, & much more. This is a new recording format we’re trying out that’s still a little buggy, so forgive us from the 25min mark through to the 28min mark, the sound gets muffled after I asked Lady N to man the controls, & well, you know haha!
“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/youtube

Rate, review, subscribe. Thank you!

Episode 21 (Guest on Nick McEwen's InSpace Podcast)

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Sun, 11 Nov 2012 19:40:00 -0800

Cypha Omni joins us for a drunken episode, plus a sneak peak at Nick McEwen & The 33s new recording of "I Know Nothing" set to release Dec 22nd 2012........

Thanks to Nick & the whole InSpace podcast crew, also available on itunes & youtube

"Cypha Omni" Comedy Podcast on stitcher/itunes/youtube

C.O.C.P. Monthly Motivational “If the world has you by the throat, knee it in the jewels!"

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Sat, 3 Nov 2012 18:39:00 -0700

The Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast can be found on Stitcher, itunes, podOmatic, & youtube

Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast
"Monthly Motivational"

“If the world has you by the throat, knee it in the jewels!”

     Now ill be the first one to admit that life often sucks a bag of dicks. It was brought to my attention not long ago by my brother, Bloody Hands, that life is cylindrical. A cycle standing vertically. This can be seen in every law in nature. Moving bodies of rock, metal, & ice spin around in a giant vortex of stars & galactic matter, spiraling around super massive black holes, all the way down to when you flush your tampons & toilet paper. The point he was making, sometimes your on top, but expect the unexpected things that life flings at you to knock you down. Whether its financially, spiritually, physically, emotionally, mentally, were all involved in this infinite cycle of ups & downs. The question now remains, once you obtain this realization & enlightenment, what next? Just expect to be shit on? Kicked while your down? In my opinion, yes & no.

   I was always taught growing up as well as through experiences, to always make it a point to laugh no matter how fucked your day is, & to never let the stress of things that are beyond your control consume you in a quick-sandish quagmire of fresh compost, just waiting to fill your life with more blended gallons of cow patties to deal with. A lot of times we hear people preach about being optimistic, positive energy, fill your time with hobbies you enjoy, yada yada yada. But who has time right? Job, kids, animals, bills, etc. I don’t know if you feel like me or not, but I don’t have time to take yoga & pottery sculpting to sooth my spirits. On the flip side, we make time to drink, smoke, bullshit around.

   Why not take that time you planned on hitting the bar with your buddies, and hit the gym an hour or two before you guys hook up? Take that jiu-jitsu class you’ve been blowing off, even if its just one night a week? Why is it wherever our happiness lye’s , we lack to make enough time for it, or no time at all? The problem with us, especially in America, is many of us our guilty of not being as productive, goal oriented, or try to take on way too much at any one given time, me included. Prioritizing, simplicity, determination. All these things & more play a severe role in how we handle each day, especially in a world designed to keep us trapped, manipulated, & in some cases abused by a system of laws that leave a mass majority of us fucked off. News, media, entertainment, all depict a vivid portrayal of what life should be, what your life should look like, & anything less is a failure. I look at it like this, just because your broke, doesn’t make you poor, & just because you may be a millionaire, doesn’t make you rich.

   Now I’m not the most spiritual man in the world, but I believe some holy texts when it says things along the line of ‘put your trust in god’ & staying positive, do onto others what you want done to you, and your rewards will be a lot greater in the afterlife because all the things we suffer from in this world is merely a test & temporary. Whether this is true or not, we’re all going to find out some day, but until then, what are we left to do?

   Life sometimes seems like a series of guessing games, moods, unforeseen events, & tragedies. I know for me, some days are harder to wear a smile on my face than others, which makes it a daily process to find the positives in your day. Take time out to look around, thank the higher powers that be, & appreciate the people & little things we all take for granted. Air, sun, the fall/winter colors in the sky, your woman when she bends over in a thong, your child knocking out someone for the first time, all these things are beautiful.

   I know I’m not perfect by a long shot, & very guilty as much as anyone else for not always having a positive outlook on things. It seems easier to reside in darkness. Sometimes I want to say fuck it all, grab me & wife a one way ticket to hobo-ville & become Native American hippies, smoke hash, have a threesome with peyote, & become a tie die activist who lives off traveling like David Carradine teaching people Martial Arts & Jeet Kune Do philosophies. But where’s the reality in that?

   Being alive today isn’t easy, but think about how shitty being alive just a couple centuries ago was? No internet, no phone, no facebook, strip clubs & dildos, no ER so whatever plague came along such as chicken pocks & common colds, guess what, dirt nap. No running water, no showers, toothpaste, or shaved monkeys. Now you may be thinking, Cyph I feel you man but I live in 2012 mofo! Yes, yes we do, but we’ve got it a lot better than many other unfortunate countries that are also in 2012. Being insensitive to this fact automatically means your lost, unappreciative, spoiled, & need some old school rain fire & brimstone down from the sky humbling that Sodom & Gomorrah got. Whatever you appreciate this morning, can be gone this evening, & some of us cant live with the thought of the last thing you may have said or done to that person was negative, half hearted, or you didn’t give your all when giving him the last blow job hell ever have before getting t-boned by an alien spacecraft on the way to working the night shift, & instead of reporting to your boss, your looking at St. Peter & his pimpness.

   I, more than anyone, has to continue to check myself, my attitude, constantly, because no matter how much I bitch, moan, & complain, feel shit isn’t fair, I look at my family & realize, I’ve been blessed with a second chance at it, try to always do your best, & if your best isn’t enough, accept what you cant contain or control, & keep mushing on, learn in the process, & try to better the next day. Life likes to slang dick without astroglide, & will submit you, ONLY if you let it happen. But you might also be thinking, Cyph, the more I put up a fight, the more life fights back & bites me in the ass. DUH! Just like fighting your ex, if you call him ugly, most likely, he’s going to call you ugly, followed by being a emotional bitch who cant function with a hot dog to go with your buns. Sounds like life? Hey, you punch someone in the face, expect them to punch you back, unless you knock that sucker out, then on to the next fight.

   Yes ladies & gentlemen, life is a constant battle. If the world has you by the throat, knee it in the jewels! Has you in a choke hold, head butt that asshole until its nose explodes, or you both have cranial fractures. Compare it to drops of water, trickling against a large stone or rock. Eventually over time, even those weak drips of water will eat through the stone, & open up new flood gates of adventures. You win some & you lose some, but living to fight another day, goes from being bittersweet to being a champion in your own world of realization, inner peace, & broader perception.

Episode 20 with Nerve / Chilla Jones vs. JC (URLTV)

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Sat, 3 Nov 2012 15:14:00 -0700

A split podcast with returning guest Nerve from Sharp State of Mind Radio, touching on different aspects of battle rapping, UFC, weed, & more. The 2nd half right at the 30min mark, Chilla Jones vs. JC from the URL. In my opinion the hottest battle all year.

“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/youtube

Episode 19 with my Dad & Chris (Pt.2 of 2)

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 10:07:00 -0700

If you thought part 1 was bad, strap in for part 2, with my Dad on his birthday. The more beer, the more bizarre. We talk about everything from bad ass kids, “black comedy,” complaints about his wife (my mom) and the condition of society. Oh, to all you Paul Gilmartin and Paul Thorn fans, this ones for you.

“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/youtube

Episode 18 with my Dad & Chris (Pt.1 of 2)

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 10:06:00 -0700

I drop in on my Dad on his 51st birthday, doing what we do, sitting out in the driveway like Friday, talking shit, raising hell about any and everything. Discussions on weed, beer, comedians, actors, racial profiling, women, you name it, we went there. Now you'll get a taste of where I get most of my A.D.D. insanity from. Part 2 gets a hell of a lot worse haha. Happy birthday Pop!

"Cypha Omni" Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/youtube

C.O.C.P. Monthly Motivational “Fatherhood…Where’s the f*ckin joy eh?"

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Fri, 7 Sep 2012 16:27:00 -0700

The Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast can be found on Stitcher, itunes, podOmatic, & youtube

Cypha Omni Comedy Podcast
"Monthly Motivational"

“Fatherhood…Where‘s the f*ckin joy eh?”

    Ah, the joys of parenting. Un-flushed toilets, swallowed toothpaste caps, endless loads of laundry, crayola montages of Sponge Bob & Dora on the walls, after school activities, 3 month old cereal bowls under the bed, the bringing home of colds, flu’s, and Amy showed her tanky during show & tell. Most of our children, safe to say, are exposed to more shit than we can ever imagine these days, through the un-driven force of mainly the internet, movies, & music. So where do we draw the line?

    Call me a bad father, but in some cases I don’t. My name may be Omni, but I’m not omnipresent, so how the hell are we able to monitor our kids 24-7, 365 1/4th’s days out of the year? We cant. That’s why I will be campaigning & emailing out petitions this November to obtain my own U.S. drone just for spying on my bad ass clan of puberty filled, think they’re grown miscreants. Seriously, if you have a open line of communication with them, which I encourage, they will come up to you & ask you some of the most ridiculous shit, some things I just figured out myself about sex within the last 6 months! Damn your in the 4th grade, what do you mean your teacher has had DP? Its on youtube!? Now if the teachers hot, maybe you can let that one slide especially if your 4th graders a boy, or you want your daughter to go lesbian, but honestly, children are subject to way more misinformation, or too early information before they see they're first tax return.

    Its incredible, & sometimes down right unthinkable, to know what our children are exposed to, so its no wonder when they get to the phase of talking back before slapping their faces into micro-particles, they’ll on occasion throw us for a loop with a rebuttal you only found out later they got from an episode of iCarly or Family Guy. What now besides beating that ass?

    Call me old fashioned, but I go Major Payne on that behind with a mixture of Pretty Boy Floyd just to add to the excitement. Jab to the jaw, then pimp walk out their room yelling money team! This most of the time goes into play when Lady N is played against me or visa versa, or I have to say NO more than once. Who said “because I said so” isn’t a good enough excuse for your children? Shit, let the cops pull these future idiots over & arrest them. Think they’ll get an explanation then? 9 times out of 10, probably not until you see that grumpy old fart with a penis pump behind his podium Monday morning.

    Its going to be up to us to set the record straight with our children. Since they’re exposed to so much reality, if you’re a parent with half a brain they are & not sheltering them into pussies for the world to devour, then give them some hard knocks of life at home. Beating a lot of kids nowadays wont do the trick as hard headed as some of them are, but lord forbid you take away their iphone, DS, or ipod, it might as well be Armageddon to their pagan influenced adolescent world. Hell, make them do some good, back breaking, old school chores like change the water heater out of grandmas attic, or sweep the carpet with a half bristled broom. What happened to those days? Mop the floor with a rag & bleach water. Sit on the porch under some shade with headphones & a ice cold glass of water as they whine while mowing the lawn in August. Get on their facebook pages & post pictures of them cleaning up their bio level 5 of a room for their friends to see. You call it mean, I call it parenting.

    On a serious note, don’t hesitate to let your children know you do love them, & not just at bed time. Its ok to hug them too. Many of today’s youth have it pretty rough. Most homes are single parent homes, most of the time dads not around, sucks as an example, or lacks the brass to be responsible, which makes it even more difficult to raise your kids, especially if you’re the step parent. Some situations are forced, but most aren’t. That’s not to say to friend your kids, but be authoritative, yet knowing when to shatter their ear drums before a WWE beat down, or when to just sit & talk about whatever may be on their under developed, half a cranial hemispherical, think they know it all minds. Establish a ground for a balance of both. Doing activities together I’ve learned has had a big plus in establishing & maintaining a sense of where they are mentally & emotionally, & keeps communication pretty open. Even cleaning together, even if your drill sergeanting that ass in the process, eventually breaks some ice & gets those little flappers flowing, of course after they bitch & a ass whooping at times. Eat at the table as a family, ask about their day, see what little Johnny meant when he told your daughter to ‘blow his poison.’ Find out what that BS means, & explain why phrases like that will get a foot so far up that ass, doctors & surgical teams will have to amputate your leg up to the hip as they lay in their kiddy casket funny.

    Bottom line, take time out to really get to know the demon spawns your once young, dumb, adolescent self made. Constant frustration is the key to failure. When those moments happen, there’s a time to fill your hand with baby powder & pimp slap them in front of target, & a time to let it slide so they can bust their ass & come back crying to you as you yell I told you so while grabbing the belt to finish the job.

Episode 17 with Rockers & Comedians! (Mr. Tamer, Mo Jo, DC, Pesty)

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Fri, 7 Sep 2012 15:25:00 -0700

Song writer, musician, & vocalist, Mr. Tamer, CEO of The Zero Game drops by with Singer/Stand-Up Comedian DC & his girlfriend to shoot the shit, talk music, collaborative projects, funny inside jokes, & later in the program, incredible musician, performer, & vocalist Mo Jo makes a great late appearance to perform two live acoustic covers on the podcast, as well as bash women’s unshaved monkeys, & a horrifying story centered around carpet munching & jolly ranchers, & more!

“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/Youtube/PodOmatic

Episode 16 (Some Best Of'z)

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Fri, 7 Sep 2012 15:23:00 -0700

Thank you for all the love and support! Here's some best of clips taken from a few episodes. To catch or DL older episodes, visit cyphaomni.blogspot.com

“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/Youtube/PodOmatic

Episode 15 with Kids (KJ & J-Mac)

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Fri, 7 Sep 2012 15:21:00 -0700

A migraine inducing episode with 2 of my & Lady N’s kids, KJ & J-Mac, asking about school, how they think they’re grown, sex, chores, farting, laughter, discipline, & just over all how fuckin bad they are, and reaffirms even more why we constantly hate children, & much more of I don’t know what the hell this is episode.

“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher/itunes/Youtube/PodOmatic

Episode 14 with Lady N

cyphaomnipodcast@gmail.com (Cypha Omni) — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 23:00:00 -0700

Another twisted episode with Lady N, covering all subjects from bad ass kids, bad parenting, my 3rd grade teachers tits, the NDAA, how a congratulatory note to a mask company got a idiot caught, sex in front of your family members at the turn of the last century, infamous snake biter, teen pregnancy, & a game I like to call “Where were you when this song came out & what were you doing?” There’s other shit too but tired of typing already.

“Cypha Omni” Comedy Podcast on Stitcher & itunes