DC, You DCeive Me

Ex-Governor Elliot Spitzer Watches the Infamous "Two Girls, One Cup" Video!

2008-03-23T19:30:00.004-04:00

Elliot Spitzer's shame and disgrace just keeps piling on, doesn't it? The Fed's investigation of Spitzer's tawdry encounters with high priced call girl Ashley Alexandra Dupre has dug up more juicy gossip about this sex fiend.

A time lapse video appears to have been made as Spitzer watched the infamous "Two Girls, One Cup" video at his computer. Now, if you don't know this video yet, don't watch it. For reals. Save your innocence. Our video is safe for work, but "Two Girls, One Cup" definitely isn't!!

If you've seen this horrible video, you will certainly appreciate Spitzer's reaction to this awful, awful video. Despite his man whorish-ness, and innate sense of depravity, he still appears to have a normal reaction to this video.

Craigslist Crazy of the Week!

2008-03-23T12:36:00.002-04:00

The anonymity of the internet is a big plus for many people. Including crazies, of which Craigslist gets a fair share, particularly in the Rants and Raves section.

"How can you democrats back a child molester as mayor?

Reply to: pers-615729490@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-03-23, 11:28AM EDT

You people never stop amazing me. First you keep abortion going in high numbers so you can keep your irresponsible lifestyles. You give millions to drug addict needle exchange programs but bitch about our national security and safety .Our jails are majority registered democrats or when they get out and register they are democrat. It isn't a coincidence that democrats commit the most crimes. That is why you are democrat. The lifestyles you people promote are wrong. You are making people believe that anything is right when in fact most democrats views are wrong. Kind of like having any kind of a minority president in an 80 percent white country. Do you think China or Japan would allow any minority in office, no. Not at all. Now you scum bags are trying to put a child molester i office in Texas. I hope Obama is elected so he can get what he has coming to him and then the stage will be set to let you assholes know that the majority should always rule. Yes Bush is a piece of shit. But so is Clinton The organized crime Kennedy family and 90 percent of all democrats."

Happy Easter! Loser with time on your hands? Should've wasted it with peeps!

2008-03-23T12:10:00.004-04:00

The Washington Post recently held a competition to design ridiculously stupid dioramas featuring peeps, those sugar coated oddly-colored marshmallows. This finalist, and modern classic, depicts our favorite guy, Larry Craig, and his wide-stance in the Minneapolis Airport bathroom.

What is wrong with the Post? More of "Peeps Show II"

America Attacked! Hillary Clinton goes to watch Jesus Christ Superstar!

2008-03-23T11:35:00.004-04:00

Hillary Clinton has been basing her candidacy on the fact that she single handedly micro managed every successful foreign and domestic initiative launched under the figurehead president, Bill Clinton. She was, in effect, her husband's Dick Cheney.

However, recent investigative journalism by the New York Times has discovered that Hillary really didn't do crap. Cases in point:

Evil Arabs attack the World Trade Center in 1993. Hillary goes to a photo shoot for Parade magazine (the Foreign Affairs of suburban magazine racks).
The USS Cole was attacked in Yemen. Hillary goes back on the campaign trail.
Mrs. Clinton also said "I helped bring peace to Northern Ireland," by attending a Christmas Tree lighting ceremony, the rededication of World War II memorial, a reception (free food and drinks!), and was presented with a stainless steel teapot! Oooo~!
Clinton also said, "We used to say in the White House that if a place is too dangerous, too small or too poor, send the First Lady." Just like Hillary's foreign policy trip to Bosnia where she singlehandedly managed to bring peace to this troubled area (with the help of the Madeleine Albright of Music, Sheryl Crow, and the Henry Kissinger of Comedy, Sinbad).

"Sinbad/Crow '08! 'Cause we just as qualified as Hillary!"

Governor Elliot Spitzer's Prostitute: Swanky Music Video "What We Want"

2008-03-18T02:02:00.009-04:00

We've posted the amazing new music video from Ashley Alexandra Dupré/Kristen, the high-priced hooker implicated in the sex sting involving former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer. The music video features her new #1 hit song "What We Want" featuring booty shaking, innuendo, and of course, Elliot Spitzer.

We are honored to host this bumpin' song, maybe you can play it at your next party, or start requesting it at all the Penn Ave bars! She has another single on the way called "Move Ya Body," so don't forget to check it out online!

Ashley how does the 15 minutes of fame feel? I'm still waiting for mine, although hopefully they don't involve me whoring myself out to middle-aged, balding politicians. We'll see though.

You, Me, and My Aide Makes Three!

2008-03-17T19:18:00.010-04:00

Boy, oh boy (and wife), what a week for hot sex scandals in politics, huh? First, we get Spitzer (D-Sucky Sucky $500) getting his freak on with random prostitutes all over this here great country (to the tune of $88,000, and possible tax payer money), and now we've got ex-NJ Gov. Jim McGreevy (D-Openly Gay America) going tag-team with his male aide/driver on his then wife.

There are many conflicting accounts of this tawdry tale, with McGreevey admitting to it, and just dismissing it as something from his past. The Driver apparently corroborates this story, but seems to discount any direct-sword play with the Gov (accidental sausage-play don't count!) and simply states that his presence "enhanced the couples experience." His wife flatly denies the accounts of both men, probably not wanting to appear as if she's a total slut-bag and takes it in the McGravy Train, but whatever.

Quite entertaining... So apparently the three had regular contact from 1999 to 2001, first meeting up at TGI Fridays (Threesome/Gay Intercourse Fridays?) and then did the deeds back at McGreevey's condo. The encounters were so regular that the three of them had a nickname for the occasion, "Friday Night Specials," according to the aide.

Prostitutes and threesomes this week. Christ, what's next in political sex scandals? Hillary and Charlie Sheen have actually bumped uglies? Naw, we all know that Hillary hates the caucus.

Exclusive! Jack from LOST is a TERRORIST! Tried to kidnap the President!

2008-03-15T20:52:00.005-04:00

We are saddened, yet thrilled to bring our readers this exclusive scoop story... Jack Shephard (aka Matthew Fox) is an apparent sleeper agent with an Arabo-Islamo Terrorismo Cell here in the US. Details remain sketchy at this point, but it appears he was sent to America (obviously on H1B working visa, damn doctors), and played an integral role in crashing Oceanic 816 on that island. Documentary film crews captured the harrowing ordeal, as you likely know, in the non-fiction series known as LOST.

Jack Shephard/Matthew Fox/Yousef al-Kibsi al-Irhabi was instructed to play a sympathetic character to gain the trust and support of his fellow Americans. Now, it appears that Jack has indeed traveled forward in time (as shown in LOST) and becomes a drunk/drug addict, recovers, and (SPOILER ALERT!) infiltrates the Secret Service in order to execute a massively coordinated pseudo-assassination of the President, but then actually kidnaps the President instead! His motive appears to be holding the (future) President ransom in order to seek out an earmark that would finance his return to this fabled island ("We have to go back, Kate!")

I know all of this may come as a shock to some of you, but this appears to be the case (oh, innocent until proven guilty, blah blah). You can be sure that DCeive Me will continue to follow the details of this exclusive story, should we maintain interest.

While we cannot reveal the full extent of our sources, we can say that most of these breathtaking revelations occurred to us while watching the movie Vantage Point this afternoon.

Senator Robert Byrd Has Flown the Coup!

2008-03-13T17:56:00.005-04:00

Senator Robert Byrd (D-KKK) is back in action again this week, after his harrowing brush with death in his West Virginia home. God only knows what would have happened to Byrd had he not been carrying his Life Alert alarm system.

We, for one, are very pleased that Byrd is back to work and was not seriously injured in his fall. If only for the fact that we can enjoy more classic Byrd ramblings on C-SPAN while pretending to work.

Take care of yourself Mr. Byrd, and maybe you too will someday live as long as Mr. McCain and decide to run for POTUS!

FACT: Sexual Deviants Make Better Leaders

2008-03-12T23:36:00.003-04:00

Not much news today coming out of the Capitol's halls, but there sure is a lot of talk about the ~~soon to be~~ ex-Governor of New York, the prostitute patron himself, Elliot Spitzer (D-Emperor's Club). One might ask, what is it that drives these powerful leaders to scandal? How come every few months we've got a new prostitution/escort/underage male page/wide-stance story climaxing all over of the front pages of our newspapers?

Well, according to an article from the NYT today, these wild, aberrant, sex-starved risk takers are just the sort of personalities that are beckoned to seek out elected office.

You see, in the dog eat dog, all or nothing world of politics, elections, and filibusters, you have to take massive risks to succeed, and occasionally suffer massive failures (although obviously not E.D. in Spitzer's case).

The risks Nixon took with Watergate weren't unlike Gov. Slutzer's risk of being wiretapped while trying to seek out some thousand dollar an hour fun in upscale NY hotels. Shame, couldn't he have just spent his money on blow or fine cigars like some of our other great politicians? You win some, you lose some, Spitz! Before you have to start collecting unemployment, maybe you should consider an appearance on FOX's the Moment of Truth.

R.I.P Elliot Spitzer's Career
Who Cares - March 12, 2008

~~You will be missed.~~ Your superdelegate vote will be missed (by Hillary).

McCain hates America, but loves the French (and lobbyists)!

2008-03-11T20:27:00.005-04:00

So everyone knows by now that John McCain loves to screw lobbyists, thanks to the scoop story recently published in the leftist publication the ~~Communist Manifesto~~ New York Times, but apparently he loves to screw Americans tag-team style with his lobbyist lovers. That's right, we're all being gang banged right now by McFrankenstein and Co. ("Viagra, my friends.") By this, of course, we are referring to McNugget's efforts over the past five years to strip the Air Force's gazillion dollar air-refueling tanker contract from Boeing and put it into the hands of Airbus/EADS/Sarkozy. Allowing Boeing to get the contract could have supported 44,000 jobs in the US, but that would be unacceptable, not when half of your senior advisers for your presidential run are all former lobbyists on behalf of Airbus/EADS/Wine & Cheese Tankers, as AP noted today. Of course, McCain denies any wrong doing or direct lobbying on their behalf. What's a few more lost jobs for America when 68,000 already disappeared this month, especially when you neglected to pay your staff for months on end due to a faltering Presidential campaign and now you can help them get their bonuses and kick backs for this $40 billion contract?

When it comes to McCain and his sex with lobbyists, the question should be whether he's the one on top, or the one taking it... He seems a little submissive, what with all those years just taking it from the Vietcong.

The monster of NY/Illinois/Arkansas/Hell can't be stopped!

2008-03-10T23:36:00.005-04:00

The unstoppable and inevitable beast woman (according to Samantha Powers, and the majority of Americans) is back on track to clinch the nomination. And by back on track, we of course mean that today her campaign staff was delivering cute little talking point cards to every endorser, with a list of all their indecisive Colleagues that have yet to make an endorsement, and encouraging them to harass them to death. They handily include an accompanying card that dictates all the reasons why their fellow SUPERDEE'z should attempt to subvert democracy if necessary in order to secure the nomination for her. It's a coup d'etat or something. She's also inviting all these super cool, super D people to come party it up at her DC home this week, with plentiful food and drink (and only slight arm-twisting from Ol' Bill). Oh, and they are so persistent that they even call the office to let us know beforehand that they will be coming by later today with these super important invites and info cards... Thanks for the heads up HillBill!