dad2be

The Chain Reaction

noreply@blogger.com (James) — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 19:49:00 +0000

Rachel went to sleep around 7:30, woke up at 10:30 pm and then apparently stayed up all night long working on her play. So today, she's having a little trouble. She just bumped something and said "Ow. (pause) I know. I didn't sleep enough so I'm tired. And that makes me cranky and hurt myself. And that makes me act like a little girl. Which makes you treat me like a little girl. That's the 'Little Girl Chain Reaction.'"

That is exciting progress to witness.

Parents Magazine - June 2011

noreply@blogger.com (James) — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 15:00:00 +0000

cross-posting on tvjames x blog

I've always intended to read Parents magazine when it arrives (we've subscribed for years), but it usually just ends up on my wife's nightstand and I never get to it. But this time, I left it in my car until I had time to read it. It is obviously aimed at women, from the articles to the advertising.

I don't think they'd show as many ads with women wearing almost nothing if they thought men were reading the magazine. I think more men would read the magazine if they knew how much skin was shown.

The magazine also has a really annoying habit of starting articles on the left side of a page with an ad on the right. I think the whole design of the magazine is to make it as difficult as possible to determine what's an ad and what's content. On one hand, shame on you. On the other, well-played.

I read it rather quickly in one afternoon and here's the stuff that stood out to me.

Raise a Kid Who Gives -- Is this really worth it? I wondered, as I directed my girls -- Drew, 3, and Blair, 5 -- to carry the unwrapped present we were donating to a needy child their preschool had chosen to help last December. Even though I had explained the situation to them a bunch of times, they still didn't seem to get why they couldn't keep the toy. Read more...

Little Big Fan - an article about a guy who has to start paying attention to sports because his son is interested in sports. Sadly, apparently not available to read online.

A Wall of Silence - about why Post-Partum Depression should be taken seriously -- and not be something that's considered shameful or a failure if you're suffering from. Again, apparently not available online. Lame.

Odds and Ends

The always good reminder of securing your ladders -- and what happened to a child when a parent didn't.

Why kids shouldn't take a sip of water after spitting while brushing their teeth. (Dilutes the fluoride.)

Teaching gratitude early - one mom had recorded her 3-year-old thanking people for his birthday gifts and loaded each as a YouTube video and emailed the link to the gift-givers.

Ha - Even if you breastfeed exclusively, pump and let your husband help - just because you made the meal doesn't mean you have to serve it.

Why kids will eat something at school but not at home - at school they see their friends eating them, but at home, their family members aren't. So if you want him to eat carrot sticks, don't pressure him to, just put them on his plate and yours, too.

Books - I requested these from the library for our daughter.

* Iggy Peck, Architect (Andrea Beaty)
* The Dot (Peter Reynolds)

While most of the magazine isn't actually online, you can read more of the articles from that issue here.

Who's Snowing Who Here?

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 23 Jun 2011 06:06:00 +0000

In April, Rachel asked about the Easter Bunny. She seemed to really want to know if we were the ones who filled her basket. I told her that yes, Mommy & Daddy fill her Easter basket every year. I expected that to be the beginning of a snowball effect where the true identities of Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy came out, too, but she dropped it after confirming the secret identity of just the Bunny.

Today we were on our way to a dental checkup for her when the following conversation occurred:

Rachel: (wiggling her tooth) I'm trying to get my tooth to fall out faster so the Tooth Fairy will come. You know what I think? I think you're the Tooth Fairy. Daddy told me that you two are the Easter Bunny, and I think you're the Tooth Fairy. (leaning forward) Are you?
Me: Yes, I'm the Tooth Fairy.
Rachel: Are you guys Cupid?
Me: Yes, we're Cupid.
Rachel: You're the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Cupid. Everyone but Santa Claus.

Uh, what? I'm trying to decide if she really does think that Santa Claus is the only genuine holiday character and we only pretend to be the others, or if she enjoys believing in Santa so much that she's purposely denying that he doesn't exist. Or, option 3 - she realizes that if Santa doesn't exist, Santa gifts don't appear on Christmas morning in addition to the gifts from Mommy & Daddy.

I don't think she's crafty enough to have figured that out so quickly, unless this is something she's been thinking about for a while. But even then, I don't think she would purposely pretend to be clueless just for the extra gifts.

Still, it makes one wonder.

Loob You

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 05:09:00 +0000

It has been far too long since I've posted on this blog. I've done a few posts on my own blog since I last wrote something here, but I just haven't been keeping up with blogging for a while now. Life has been overwhelming, and when I have free time, I don't necessarily think "I should write a blog post."

But this needed to be recorded. Today I was playing in the living room with Ben, and we were cuddling on the floor, and I said "I love you." And he said back "Loob you." Ben turned 3 last month, and that's the first time he's said I love you back to either of us, and in such a recognizable way, too. It was incredible!

Ben has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS, an autism spectrum disorder. It basically means that he has some autistic characteristics, but not severely enough to be called autistic at this point. He could go either way, depending upon his development, going further towards being diagnosed as autistic or becoming more caught up with his peers. But he is delayed in so many areas that I think it's more likely that this will be something we're dealing with over the long haul.

So we're learning to celebrate all the little wins and every step of progress he makes. Each time he says a new word really well, it's exciting! And when he goes to his developmental preschool program, and he walks away from me without fussing and goes and sits in his own chair for reading time, and flips open his little book, it's awesome, and he makes me proud.

We're fortunate in that Ben has always been very loving and affectionate. He expresses his love for us all the time in giving us great hugs, squeezing us like he never wants to let go. Less frequently, he gives us kisses, too.

But it was so neat to actually hear him verbalize that love. In fact, when I put him down for nap time, I told him again that I love him, and he said "I lub you." Just melted my heart!

I lub you, too, Ben.

Watch This

noreply@blogger.com (James) — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 04:43:00 +0000

Cameron Herold: Let's raise kids to be entrepreneurs

noreply@blogger.com (James) — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 22:56:00 +0000

Heartwarming

noreply@blogger.com (James) — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 19:50:00 +0000

In the fictional novel The Clowns of God by Morris West, Jesus comes back to earth, and some people think it’s Him while some don’t. At one point, Jesus is at a school for children with Down syndrome, and He is holding a little girl. Jesus says:

I know what you are thinking. You need a sign. What better one could I give but to make this little one whole and new? I could do it, but I will not.

Hmmm...

noreply@blogger.com (James Lamb / tvjames) — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 23:20:00 +0000

Our children are Rachel and Ben. From the bible, or characters connected to Ross on Friends? If we have a third child named Joseph, you still won't know.

Milking It

noreply@blogger.com (James Lamb / tvjames) — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 07:03:00 +0000

Rachel apparently forgot to get a milk with her lunch at school. So what did she do? She didn't go back and ask for her forgotten milk.

No, she shouted "Someone bring me a milk!" and in no time flat another student surrendered their milk.

Philip Johnny Bob and Delores 2

noreply@blogger.com (James Lamb / tvjames) — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 04:11:00 +0000

Rachel's asked that we make sure everyone knows that the gray elephant formerly named Philip Johnny Bob has a new name. Her name is now Ella. (As an aside, Rachel and I gave my brother a similar elephant a few years ago when he was teaching fourth grade so that he could go on WebKinz and see what all the kids were talking about. And if you know my brother, you'll appreciate this even more -- he named his elephant "Tusken.")

And from the I-Can't-Believe-This-Worked file, tonight Rachel was in bed and had Delores, I could hear a constant stream of squeaks coming from her room. I went up there and asked her to tell Delores not to be naughty and keep Rachel awake, because if she did, she was going to have to sleep on the top bunk, instead of down on the bottom bunk with Rachel. I hear Rachel dutifully instructing Delores and I haven't heard a squeak since.

Dinner Conversation

noreply@blogger.com (James Lamb / tvjames) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 07:03:00 +0000

"Dad, you want to know what's weird about [friend]?"
"No, not really."
"Why not?"
"It's not nice. You wouldn't like it if [friend] was telling her ads what was weird about you."

Now... It's either knowing our how our daughter's mind works, or maybe it's all children at this age, but we had a split-second to anticipate what was coming next, but not long enough to steel ourselves (or maybe we knew what was coming and didn't want to steel ourselves.)

She got a puzzled look on her face and said "But there's nothing weird about me."

To which we burst out laughing.

She looked perturbed and exasperated and gave her mom - sitting next to her at the dinner table - a cute elbow in the arm in protest.

Chores and Responsibilities

noreply@blogger.com (James Lamb / tvjames) — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 23:53:00 +0000

Cross posting on Dad2Be and tvjames x blog.

A friend from work described this to me, so we've been working towards it for some time now. We're finally hitting the next big phase, so I thought I'd describe the process we're using for getting children involved in helping around the house.

The premise boils down to two distinct and different sets of tasks: Responsibilities and Chores.

Responsibilities

These are day-of-the-week specific tasks assigned to a specific child. They start out simple and progress with complexity and number of tasks per day as the child gets older and more able to help. These tasks are unpaid - they are responsibilities, things that are expected of the child as a member of the family, their way of helping out.

In the beginning, the child has only responsibilities. There is a carrot - something that they want to do. For Rachel, it's television/computer-time. In order to get to watch TV or play on the computer, she must first complete her responsibilities. And since we don't allow "screen time" after dinner in our house (except for movie nights), she has incentive to get them done early as that means more time for what she wants to do. (There is also a limit on how much screen time she can have - no getting up at 5 am and doing everything and then watching TV for 12 hours.

Currently, her responsibilities include things like:
* Make bed (before lunch) - six days a week
* Take down laundry to laundry room (before lunch) - daily
* Empty bathroom garbage (before dinner) - twice a week
* Remove sheets from bed and take to laundry room (before lunch) - Saturday
* Bath or shower (before dinner) - three times a week (don't worry, she has extras when she needs them. It might be four to start with, can't recall.)
* Put away any folded laundry - a few times a week

Currently there's 4-5 tasks each day.

In order to watch TV or play on the computer, the responsibilities must be done. In the case of ones required before lunch, they may be done after lunch but before screen time. There are a few exceptions, where we may decide to do her bath after dinner, in which case, she still gets to do screen time, but she's very aware that there will be a bath later in her immediate future.

The "before lunch" requirements are new, and they play into the chores.

Chores

Chores are non-child specific in most cases, except where skill level exceeds the younger children. Right now, only Rachel has chores and responsibilities. They are to be completed on specific days. They are paid. But, you can only do chores if you've completed that day's responsibilities.

Some chores include:
* Pull 25 weeds - a few times a week
* Help with dishwasher - a few times a week
* Sort laundry - a few times a week (the laundry goes into large bins by person, but then it needs to be sorted, folded and put away)
* Set table for dinner - daily
* Clear table after dinner - six nights a week (not Saturday)

There are a fixed number of chores, and as more children get to the age where they can do chores, there will be some competition as to who can get their responsibilities done first and move on to the paid chores.

Currently, there's 4-7 opportunities each day to make money. We're still working out the relative value of each. Most are 5 cents, then 10 cents and a few worth a quarter. Saturday is very light on responsibilities and very heavy on chores. It's a great way to rack up the cash at the end of the week.

Right now, there is $3.65 cents worth of chores on the list. If she completes all of them (that means all responsibilities and all chores), she gets paid double and she receives a marble. Marbles are from a different behavior penalty/reward system borrowed from SuperNanny and accrue towards ice cream at Dairy Queen.

I can picture once-a-month chores like washing the car or quarterly chores like Lysol-ing door handles and light switches, but those are obviously too challenging at this point.

But even if we are supervising her work, it does allow us to do other things and it is encouraging to see her helping out. She is so far hot and cold on the whole thing, so we'll see what happens when she's competing with Ben for chores and money.

The Chart

There are two charts on the refrigerator. One identifies the responsibilities, the other the chores. We cross off each responsibility as its completed. If she completes a chore, we circle the payout. If the day ends with chores incomplete, we cross off the payout.

Eventually Ben will have his own responsibilities chart as well.

Payday

On Saturdays, before dinner, it's payday. We count up all the chores completed that week, and we divide into three groups - 10% her to church and put in the offering, 40% for long-term savings (we hang on to, to later put in the bank for her) and 50% she gets in her little hands to take upstairs to put in her piggy bank. Last week was her first week (and a partial week at that), and I paid in pennies, so I'll probably need to buy a few rolls of pennies, and some larger coins if she gets hooked on it. After I had the three piles of coins in front of her, I put in enough extra pennies to round each one up to the nearest 5 cents.

This wasn't a big math lesson yet (I breezed through the percentages), but hopefully there'll be some in that as well as we go along.

Allowance

We have, since birth, given each child a $20/month allowance as an automatic transfer from our checking account to their savings account. At some point, we may revisit how that works, but right now from time-to-time, Rachel may ask for something at the store. If we think it's ok, then she is allowed to have it and we transfer money back out of her savings account and into our checking account to cover it.

Credit

This is not my idea, I got it from a friend at work who had attended a money seminar at his church and learned of it there.

Philip Johnny Bob and Delores

noreply@blogger.com (James Lamb / tvjames) — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 18:39:00 +0000

In addition to "Polar Bear" (aka "Pohlie") Rachel's recently grown very attached to two of her other stuffed animals - a WebKinz elephant she's named "Philip Johnny Bob" and a little infant pink security blanket (maybe 6-7" square with a little pink bear head that squeaks in the center) named "Delores."

Not sure why. But calling either of them by the wrong names (especially Philip Johnny Bob, just because it's fun) sets her off on a stern warning to us about their correct names and she gets indignant that we seem to be unable to remember them. (And forget about calling her Rachel Johnny Bob.)

And I just heard her telling Lori that Philip Johnny Bob is a girl.

A Conversation With Rachel

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Tue, 18 May 2010 03:23:00 +0000

Rachel will often express her love for me in over-the-top terms. Tonight she was in the midst of doing that, and here was our conversation.

Rachel: "I love you so so so much, and I think you're the best person in the world. {whispered} Even though you're a little crabby sometimes."
Me: "Well, thank you. I love you, too. I've worked on that and I think I've gotten a lot better, but I'll keep working on it."
Rachel: "Okay. Good luck with that!"

"Angy!"

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Fri, 14 May 2010 18:12:00 +0000

Apparently Ben knows what "angry" means. He was being so cranky and fussy this morning, especially after he and I got back from dropping Rachel off at school. He kept asking for crackers, even though I was sure he'd had enough to eat. I think eating is one of his coping mechanisms to deal with feeling frustrated, especially since he's too young to know why. (Plus I still do that, and I'm old enough to know better.)

He asked for applesauce, and since he hadn't had much fruit yet, I was happy to put him into his high chair and get some out. But then when I had the applesauce ready on a spoon, he didn't want it. He'd keep saying "Applesauce!" but turning his head away when I tried to give some to him, so I'm not sure what he was actually wanting.

I got him back down, and he just walked around, looking for something to get into or bang on and fussing and wailing. I said "Are you angry and frustrated?" and he said "Angy! Angy!" I played with him for a little while and he was okay then, but if he didn't have my direct attention, he'd start fussing and looking for trouble.

That's a typical thing for him when he's getting tired and in need of a mid-morning break. Since he's outgrown morning naps, I sometimes take him upstairs and put him in his crib for a rest time, to give him a chance to wind down and give myself a break from the fussiness, and that has worked beautifully.

So this morning, I picked him up and told him "I think it's time for a rest," and as I carried him upstairs, crossways in my arms, he said "Angy!" The boy definitely knows what that means, but I'm glad that he was able to express it with a word, because I think that helped. And after his rest time, he was a much cheerier little guy, laughing and playing and singing along with me and making animals sounds.

I'm hoping for a really good nap today. I have a dish to make for our small group and Ben's birthday cake to bake so that I can decorate it tomorrow for his party on Sunday.

And now I'm feeling like a slacker parent because I haven't blogged anything about him turning 2. *sigh*

The Logic of a Child

noreply@blogger.com (James Lamb / tvjames) — Wed, 12 May 2010 04:50:00 +0000

Boy, parenting is a challenge. At Rachel's school, there's a thing called the "Think Chair" A student needs to sit in that chair to think about what they've done if they've been disobedient. Lately, apparently that's not been enough and a number of students have also found themselves missing recess.

That was Rachel the last two weeks, a number of think chair moments and missed recesses. The most recent parenting course -- the one that isn't "God's Way" (dun dun dun) -- says a problem and its correction (if correction occurs) stays where it happened. That is, we don't repunish when she gets home. But, we've still talked to her because it didn't seem like it was actually working. And after that, the next day Lori got a thumb's up from the teacher when she went to pick up Rachel. There were some good days.

Until today.

Apparently today Rachel colored all over her hands with the markers. This is something she's been talked to before. Who knows if it's a big deal in the grand scheme of things or not. Maybe it leads to coloring of other things like library books or desks or other students' clothes. I dunno. Either way, it's the rule of the classroom that you don't do that. When in Rome... So, yeah, she got to go to the Think Chair and lost her use of colored pens for the rest of the week. What she did next, in her anger, was much worse. I'm not sure how Lori found out about it, but I'm guessing it was a phone call home.

Needless to say, all the pens went away here at home as well. The incident unmentioned didn't involve pens, but it was obvious that leaving something like this at school really didn't make sense because at the heart of it, it's about disobedience and a lack of respect for authority. They also say "She's only five. She doesn't fully have logic figured out yet." I digress briefly as we wavy-screen-it back to a conversation we had a few months ago.

I don't know how to type the sound Wayne and Garth would make as they went back to something in the past, so, ummm... ~~~~~

(paraphrasing - I can't stop to look it up or I will get dinged for the "distraction" if I slow down or stop my writing. If I go under 55 words a minute the computer blows up)
Me: I'm going to need to take money from your account to pay for the lamp you broke.
Rachel: Well, I'm going to take all your money.
Me: You can't. It's not here. It's at the bank.
Rachel: Well, I'm going to go online and I'm going to get it all.
Me: You can't.
Rachel: I'm going to watch you when you go online and I'm going to get your password. I'm going to watch you all the time until I have your password.

~~~~~~~

So when they say that her logic isn't fully formed, that's a headscratcher to me. I mean, yeah, she's got her plan for how to fraudulently steal her own college money (there isn't much) but she doesn't realize that there are consequences for things.

I cannot tell you how many books I've taken away tonight. And I hate taking away books. But the little bookworm will not stop reading. She smuggles them into bed, she smuggles them into the bathroom, she will read them instead of doing just about anything we ask her to do. So I take them.

Fortunately, she's stopped throwing stuff at home. Because if she throws something that belongs to her, it's gone. For good. Until she flips that back around on me and starts throwing stuff she doesn't care about.

She's incredibly smart.

It's just going to be a challenge to channel that energy into positive things. I will give her credit, she's been extremely passive when her little brother's been aggressive. He seems to get moreso when he's sleepy, biting and scratching and pinching, but just in general, he's a little boy and he plays hard. Banging, headbutting, being loud, he plays hard. And when he's mean to her, she may protest, but she doesn't respond in kind. That is actually quite heart-warming. On the other hand, when she starts protesting, we do have to point out that if she weren't laying on the floor (that's what I was doing when he clocked me in the mouth the other day with something and drew blood) he wouldn't pull her hair or flop on her back. So she's not usually physically aggressive, which is great, but there's going to need to be a lot of work done to help her to cope with anger wisely, and to get back to being obedient and respectful.

I don't want this to seem all doom and gloom. Prayer is always appreciated, but this is not one of those "wit's end" situations thankfully.

(cross-posted from my blog http://tvjames.blogspot.com/ )

26 Minutes

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 03:45:00 +0000

11:46 AM me: UGGGGHHHHHH. So tired of her attitude. She needs to go to kindergarten boot camp.

That was the beginning of an IM conversation between me and James yesterday. Rachel got it into her head that she wanted to go to the Spring Fair in a nearby town. When told we weren’t going to do that but that we could probably go to the County Fair later in the year, she decided she’d rather act nasty and throw a fit.

It’s a pattern that keeps cropping up, but less frequently and with less severity than in the past. I think it’s something that she’s outgrowing, as her ability to exercise self-control catches up with her strong emotions. I’m encouraged that it doesn’t manifest itself physically like it used to, with kicking and spitting and hitting, as well as by the fact that most days she does pretty well. There was a time when every day seemed to bring some kind of mean-spirited outburst.

I got her to her room for some bedroom time, and that seemed to help reset things. I talked with her a little after she came out about how I wanted to have a great afternoon, and how I wanted to enjoy our planned movie night in the evening, but how neither of those would happen if she didn’t decide to have a better attitude. I asked for a hug, and she asked if she could finish her drawing first and then give me one, to which I said yes.

We talked about lunch and she agreed that a grilled cheese sandwich sounded good. I started to get things out and prepare the sandwich, and then remembered before starting to grill it that I hadn’t gotten my hug. I asked her for one, and she ran to me and gave me such a long, tight hug that I thought it might never end!

She said "I feel like I'm never going to stop hugging you!" And I said "This is really nice, but how will I make your sandwich if you don't stop hugging me?" and she said "I love you more than a sandwich, Mom!"

I reported that to James over IM, and this was his reply:

12:14 PM James: 26 minutes between your "UGGGGHHH" IM and that one where she loves you more than a sandwich.

12:15 PM me: :)

It’s interesting how quickly the emotions change at this age! Sometimes it’s frustrating, but moments like these are encouragements.

Rachel's List

noreply@blogger.com (James Lamb / tvjames) — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 20:42:00 +0000

Rachel recently heard a song and asked me to add it to her list. Turns out that Lori started a simple playlist in iTunes for Rachel and when Rachel hears a song she likes, she asks Lori to put it in her playlist. Rachel's never asked me to play her playlist, but I put it on just now since she's eating lunch and I'm about to go outside and work in the yard and Lori's upstairs cleaning and watching LOTR.

Surprisingly, Rachel's list only contains 29 songs so far and a number of them are Christmas songs (so they won't even play right now). But, it is an interesting list.

Deck the Halls (instrumental) - Garritan Volume 4
I Can Be Your Friend - Veggie Tales (Silly Songs for Rachel)
Zacchaeus - Various Artists (Play a Little)
Instrumental Christmas Sing Along - Twin Sisters Productions (Santa Songs)
Get'cha Head In The Game - Troy (High School Musical)
Life is a Highway - Tom Cochrane (Mad Mad World)
Christmastime Is Here - Sixpence None The Richer (WOW Christmas)
What I've Been Looking For - Sharpay and Ryan (High School Musical)
I Want You - Savage Garden (Savage Garden)
Toy Packaging - Sara Groves (O Holy Night)
Angels We Have Heard On High - Sara Groves (O Holy Night)
Different Kinds of Happy - Sara Groves (Fireflies and Songs)
When Love Came Down - Point of Grace (Now That's What I Call Christmas!)
Home for the Holidays - Perry Como (Now That's What I Call Christmas!)
God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (instrumental) - Pat Azzarello - Garritan Volume 5
How Long Will Be Too Long - Michael W. Smith (Go West Young Man)
Let Everything That Has Breath - Matt Redman (Worship Together - Be Glorified)
I Do - Lisa Loeb (Firecracker)
I Am - Jill Phillips (WOW 2000)
A Wink And A Smile - Harry Connick, Jr. (Sleepless In Seattle)
Let's Go To Vegas - Faith Hill (It Matters To Me)
Come Go With Me - Expose (Exposure)
God's Got a Plan - Elizabeth Cook (Hey Y'All)
Because You First Loved Me - Children's Choir (Let the Children Praise HIM)
Everyday - Boddy Holly (Greatest Hits)
You Can Fly! You Can Fly! You Can Fly! - Various Artists (Classic Disney, Volume 1)
I Want To Hold Your Hand - The Beatles - 1
Jingle Bells - Barenaked Ladies (Barenaked For The Holidays)
Joy To The World - Anne Murray (Christmas Wishes)

On an unrelated note, I'd like to know who's been letting Rachel watch Saturday Night Live. She's picked up "Oh My Goodness" as if she were channeling Tina Fey channeling Sarah Palin.

A Conversation With Ben

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 23:16:00 +0000

3 nights ago, I had what I would call my first conversation with Ben. He's been spare with his words. Don't take that to mean that he's been quiet by any means. But he'll use a word for a while, then store it away as if he's done with it. Some words he's continued to use (Dada, Mama, Bath, Milk, Cracker, etc.), and others he used for a time and then is apparently done with them for now (Banana, More).

I suspect that he's both shy and stubborn. His shyness keeps him from trying words until he builds up a little confidence that he can get it right within a few tries. His stubbornness means he would rather screech or just keep saying "Milk! Milk!" when he wants something and doesn't know its name, or doesn't want to try saying it. But he loves imitating sounds he hears and sometimes surprises us, like when James answered "I don't know" and Ben repeated "I dohn-know." That's a phrase that he's actually been using semi-regularly, and often when it fits as an answer for a question we've asked him. So I have no doubt that he's capable of being more verbal and that we'll be seeing much more of that soon.

But I digress - 3 nights ago, I went in to check on him at about 10:00. I peeked in the door and didn't see or hear anything, so I figured he was asleep. But no - "Doo doo doo," he said, standing up and reaching for me. I picked him up.

Ben: Milk?
Me: No, I don't think you need milk. You need to go back to sleep, baby.
Ben: Cracker?
Me: No, you don't need crackers, silly. You need sleep.
Ben: Crunchies?
Me: No, no crunchies. You need to go back to bed, and Mama needs to take a shower.
Ben: Bath?

I loved how he kept coming up with different angles, not getting upset when I was saying no. And I figured he must actually be hungry if he was that persistent, so he did get to sit in his highchair and have some milk and something to eat before going back to bed.

He was up late the next night, too, asking for milk. I think he must be having a growth spurt. He also seems to be teething, since he's drooling like a champ and has been a little fussy at times, picking at some of his meals.

And he is apparently experiencing separation anxiety. He's quite unhappy most of the time when being put to bed either for a nap or at night, getting really upset and crying and reaching for me. It didn't used to be such a big deal. He'd fuss a little, but not sound like he felt he was being abandoned as he does now. And leaving him in the nursery at church brings much screeching, too, although it dies down pretty quickly once we're gone.

Rachel went through separation anxiety a few times, but it was always over in about a week. I think Ben's been going through it for a few weeks but am not sure when it started. I'm hopeful he'll work through it quickly, though.

Batchu

noreply@blogger.com (James Lamb / tvjames) — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 01:25:00 +0000

Batchu means "feed me" - Ben will announce it after he's woken up, he'll announce it when he enters the kitchen and tries to climb into his high chair, he'll add "Juice" or "Apple" to it if you don't respond right away. He's also clapping and saying "yay" and now asks for "baths" and gets excited about having his teeth "brush"ed.

Rachel plans to live near us. And she intends for us to buy a house for her and her daughter. No husband? Not right away, she's going to adopt a daughter and get married later. (Wonder how this coincides with her other plans to not go to college because she's going to marry a husband who has a job so she can stay home with the children - and why should you go to college if you're not going to have a job of your own?) Why won't she buy the house with her own money? That's all being saved for candy and cookies and toys for her and her daughter.

When we began to talk of power bills and car insurance and phone and water and sewer and garbage and car payments and food and clothing and pet food, she swooned, exclaimed in an unhappy manner that "everything takes money" and that it made her so tired to think about that she was "going to die" as she laid down on the chairs in the lunchroom while visiting me for lunch.

Updates

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:48:00 +0000

Ben just said "Ooouuuut" to get out of his highchair, and he sounded like E.T. saying "Oooouuuch."

*****
He's doing really well so far with the Christmas tree. He's removed some ornaments but has mostly been leaving it alone. I think having the Little People Nativity Set has been a big help there. He's very interested in playing with those. Plus I haven't made it taboo for him to touch the tree or the ornaments, purposely putting not-easily-broken ones on the lower branches and handing a few to him to touch and carry around. The tree has been up for about a week now. So far, so good!

*****
Rachel's reading comprehension has gone through the roof in the last few months! When she started Kindergarten, the teacher tested her on the Critical Words they'll need to know by the end of first grade. There are 126 of them, and Kindergarteners need to be able to sight-read at least 26 of them by the end of the school year. When they tested Rachel in October, she knew 62! Her teacher re-tested her a few weeks ago, and she knew 92. She's able to pick up children's books like Berenstain Bears and can read almost all of the words without help. She sounded out the word "Individually" from a package of Life Savers that were individually wrapped. She knew "wrapped," too. It's just crazy how quickly she's learning words. I've read with her since she was pretty young and she watches things like Sesame Street and Between the Lions where they talk about words and letters, but it's still just amazing to me how rapidly the comprehension is building.

*****
Ben is learning to communicate with more words. Besides the words I talked about before, he's saying up, out, "wha da" for what's that?, "get it" (like "I'll get it!"), kitty, book, Bible and juice. There are probably a few more that I'm forgetting, too. And he's modified his fake sneezing so that he'll actually say "Ah-choo!" when he does it. He's a total ham, and he'll laugh quite heartily when someone else fake-sneezes, too.

*****
Rachel had the opportunity to sing with the children's choir at our church on Christmas Eve and has been practicing the last few weeks. Besides practices during the Sunday school time, she's also listening to a CD they were given and has been looking at the word sheet as well. She already knows one of the songs really well. They're singing 3 along with our adult choir. She's probably going to know her part better than I'll know mine!

Indiana Jones Apparently Lives at My House

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 06:37:00 +0000

Ben is truly a fearless little boy. He walks right off the edge of a step into our step-down living room, sometimes remaining upright, sometimes not. He careens up and down a flight of stairs with surprising speed for a boy that young. He runs after his sister, sometimes running right into her and purposely colliding heads. He'll throw himself into and out of the bathtub, step off of a bed just figuring that the person in front of him is going to catch him, and in general shows a surprisingly small sense of self-preservation at this stage.

He's also an adventure-seeker. We recently had to relocate our end table to the other end of the loveseat because he would use the height of the entry area to climb onto said end table and play with the lamp that was there, pulling it over a couple of times (and almost pulling it over a few more times, were it not for my lightning-like reflexes).

My plan for our Christmas tree was to put it in a corner and surround it with our couch and our coffee table on its two open sides. The coffee table is lower than the end tables, and even without the height advantage of the entry area, it clearly is a plan that is not going to work. That boy is not going to let a little ol' coffee table stand between him and a big tall tree with shiny things and flashy lights on it. I'm truly puzzled about what to do, since I'm not willing to pay for a fence to put around it and would rather not have to put it downstairs in the family room. I'll figure something out, though, I'm sure.

Today Rachel and I were reading on the couch when he started clamoring for my attention. I figured he felt left out and wanted to be up with us, so I picked him up. He immediately turned to the back of the couch and started to scramble over the couch cushions so that he could grab the string of orange lights that we've had up for Halloween and Thanksgiving. I thought "Well, we'll just remove that temptation and I'll sit on the floor to read." A minute passes, then I feel his hand on my shoulder and realize he's used his jack-in-the-box to step up and my shoulder as leverage so that he can throw himself onto the couch and have another go at the string of lights.

I'm pretty sure he will be the child that bungee-jumps, goes rock climbing, parachutes, and does many other things that will generally cause his mother to have heart palpitations one day. Also, and not coincidentally, I'm sure he's the child most likely to break bones.

The Nightly Scam

noreply@blogger.com (James Lamb / tvjames) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:51:00 +0000

For reasons we don't understand, the aquarium in Ben's crib can be turned up to insane levels. Bright. Boy that he is, he's figured out how to pick which sound he wants he hear and how to turn up the volume really loud.

Many nights, I will go in there and turn the volume down. Often when I go to do that, he's standing right up against it staring at the fish and the bubbles. When I open the door and walk in, he dives (literally) to the bed, as if he was asleep. When I first discovered this, I had to show Lori Ben's cleverness. But, no, he won't, instead crying to be lifted out of his crib.

Every time.

The Quest for the Light

noreply@blogger.com (James Lamb / tvjames) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 21:40:00 +0000

As you know, we have a sunken living room. So lately Ben's been climbing on to that end table by the light switch so that he can play with the lamp. Every time we yell at him, he climbs right off. Today I caught him standing on the couch reaching for the lamp. Couldn't figure out how he got there until I remembered that a few minutes before that he had been playing with the black plastic tub. Turns out he had turned it over and used it as a stepping stool.

Ooh, Scary!

noreply@blogger.com (Lori) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 20:46:00 +0000

Ben has taken to getting a mischievous smile on his face, then saying "Bah!", trying to scare me. He loves when I react to it and will just chuckle and sometimes laugh big belly laughs doing it over and over again.