I confess I used to think this way about these creepy crawlers. But then something happened nine years ago that changed forever the way I view these tiny creatures and how I teach my kids.

First, a little history.

In case you missed it, Craig Gibbs wrote a delightful op-ed in last Thursday’s New York Times, celebrating—of all things—the wonder and mystery of the periodical cicada. According to Gibbs, an entomologist with the Wildlife Conservation Society, this spring many of us will witness a wildlife phenomenon occurring nowhere else in the world—the emergence of the Brood II cicadas, seen only once every 17 years along the East Coast.

Unimpressed?

Gibbs argues you should be impressed. Cicadas are one of the longest living insects on earth. Of the approximately ten million insect species in the world, cicadas make up about 3,000. A mere seven species of those, called periodical cicadas and found only in eastern North America, spend either 13 or 17 years growing underground, until they emerge and transform into adults.

As soil temperatures rise over the next month, cicadas will leave their subterranean world for the first time since they tunneled underground as nymphs in 1996. The razor buzz of the males will be heard in a mating ritual that has existed since the ice age. Within a few weeks, they’ll all be dead, millions if not billions of them, and their offspring won’t reemerge until 2030.

The first time we took our boys to view the cicadas was 2004. My two sons, Connor and Will, had just turned four and six years old. It was also the year that a different generation of cicadas, known as Brood X, emerged from the ground after seventeen years in hibernation. My wife Danna and I found a spot in the neighborhood where the cicadas were particularly prolific, and set about teaching the boys the marvels of nature.

My sons were understandably cautious at first, but Danna was upbeat, describing the cicadas in a positive light, and taking photos of them as if they were movie stars. Danna said that the cicadas don’t hurt the trees they lay their eggs on, and when they die, provide needed food for birds, reptiles and mammals. When the insects tunnel to the surface, they aerate the soil, and when they die, the cicadas return nutrients to the earth that once sustained them. All part of the cycle of life, she explained.

I watched my sons carefully to see if they were buying into mom’s passionate ode to nature. The boys seemed to be warming up to the cicadas swarming around them when several flew up and landed on Connor.

“Dad!” he yelled. “Get them off me!”

I patiently removed the cicadas from his jacket, and tenderly placed them on the trunk of a nearby tree. “See how gentle they are,” I told Connor. “They don’t bite and only wanted to say hello.”

Will called me over then, and I turned away to see what cicada mysteries he’d discovered.

In less than a minute, Connor yelled again. “Dad, they’re back! Help!”

I whirled around. Connor was completely covered in cicadas now. I rushed over, expecting panic. Instead, a big grin stretched across Conner’s face.

He’d picked up dozens of cicadas and adorned himself with their scaly bodies, hoping to get just this reaction from me.

I knew then that my kids were no longer afraid of the cicadas, or for that matter, of any quirky or bizarre creatures that nature might throw at them. My belief proved the test of time, as my boys have gone on to raise as pets two sets of dogs, a five-foot python, four crested geckos whose numbers multiply by the season, and a grumpy old lizard named Harry who, despite conventional wisdom, does on occasion bite the hand that feeds him.

For the next six weeks, we celebrated every stage of the cicadas’ all too brief lives, and learned many lessons from them. We discovered that no matter how small, obscure, or weird one of nature’s creatures is, it deserves respect and protection and has a story to tell. My wife and I also learned that fear of animals—or of nature itself— is taught and passed on from generation to generation. If we want our children to be true stewards and lovers of nature, we need to teach them to be so.

We were all sad when the cicadas passed away about a month later. But we were comforted knowing they had given our family a wonderful memory, and that when the next brood returned, my children would no longer be little boys, but teenagers.

A decade later, we are happy to see the next brood of cicadas returning once again, and that my boys, now towering teenagers, will be on hand to greet them. All part of the cycle of life.

Four years ago, my older son Will, then ten years old, rolled out of bed one morning limping and complaining of painful, swollen knees. He had just played his first basketball game of the season the night before, so I figured his discomfort was merely a product of too much time pounding the hardwood.

Still, better to be safe than sorry, so we consulted our orthopedist the next day. Upon just a cursory exam, the doctor said Will’s knees felt “hot,” suspected an infection, and wanted him tested immediately for Lyme Disease.

My first reaction was, are you serious? If you listed all the possible causes for Will’s knee swelling and pain, Lyme Disease would be at the bottom of my list. After all, we had never seen a bulls-eye rash or a tick. How wrong I was. Will’s tests came back positive. We consulted next with an infectious disease specialist who put our son on a three-week course of antibiotics.Still, no reason to panic, I thought. I knew that Lyme Disease was notoriously difficult to detect, but now that we had a solid diagnosis, the antibiotics should clear everything up.

I was only half right. My son felt better once he began taking the antibiotics, but when he finished the prescribed three week course, his symptoms flared up again. He experienced joint pain, headaches, dizziness, brain fog, and fatigue. He had trouble falling asleep at night and waking up in the morning. Usually a relaxed, confident kid, Will experienced mood swings and seemed emotionally fragile.

My wife and I realized that the standard treatment wasn’t working. We took Will to see a “Lyme literate” doctor who specialized in the treatment of chronic or difficult cases. Our doctor concluded that Will’s Lyme Disease was more advanced than we thought, and he started Will on a longer course of treatment with a new round of antibiotics.

During Will’s treatment, we learned as much as we could about Lyme Disease. We met other parents of children suffering from Lyme, who gave us valuable guidance and support. We sought the advice of advocacy and outreach groups such as the National Capital Lyme and Tick-Borne Disease Foundation (NatCapLyme) and the Children’s Lyme Disease Network (CLDN), and learned things about this terrible disease we wish we’d known before. For example,

• Lyme Disease is one of the most potentially dangerous infections for children. According to the CDC, children between the ages of five and nineteen are at the highest risk of becoming infected.
• Lyme infections are skyrocketing. Lyme Disease has been found in every state in the U.S. The CDC recorded approximately 33,000 cases in 2011, but acknowledged that the actual number of cases might be grossly underreported.
• Victims might never see a tick attachment or a rash.
• As difficult as it is to see an adult tick, nymphs—which are immature adults that can also transmit disease—are even smaller and harder to find, about the size of a poppy seed.
• Lyme Disease is caused by a bacteria contained in the tick’s saliva, which can be spread within hours of attachment.
• Lyme Disease isn’t the only microbe carried by ticks. Ticks can spread other diseases with such strange sounding names as Bartonellosis, Babesiosis, Ehrlichiosis, and Anaplasmosis. In addition to Lyme, doctors must detect and treat these other “co-infections.”
• Lyme Disease can be hard to diagnose and can masquerade as other illnesses. There is also no conclusive test for determining when a patient’s Lyme infection is cured.

My family had embarked on what fellow parents of children with Lyme Disease simply call, “The Journey.” During this journey to find a cure, parents must cope with the difficulties of getting a proper diagnosis and treatment for their children. I discovered that:

• Doctors who specialize in treating Lyme are at a premium, and it’s sometimes only possible to schedule appointments several months in advance, if at all. Some families have to travel long distances, even cross country, to see an experienced doctor.
• There is a controversy within the medical community about the proper way to treat Lyme Disease. Some doctors believe there’s no convincing evidence for the existence of chronic Lyme infection and feel long-term antibiotic treatment is unproven and risky. Other doctors argue that current Lyme testing is largely inaccurate and likely to miss patients with chronic and ongoing infection, and that long-term antibiotic treatment is necessary. Parents need to learn about this controversy as it may determine their selection of doctors and course of treatment.
• Depending on the treatment, insurance may, or may not, pay all medical bills. Not only will parents have to learn about the medical nuances of diagnosis and treatment, but they’ll have to master the intricacies of submitting and coding insurance claims.
• While the medical community has made great strides in treating Lyme sufferers and research is advancing toward creating a preventive vaccine, the success in treating long-suffering patients is mixed at best.

Fortunately for my son, his long-term antibiotic treatment seems to have worked. Will has been symptom-free for over two years, and for that we are truly grateful. But I know that my family was extremely fortunate, as we had the resources and ability to research and pay for doctors and quality treatment. My heart goes out to children with chronic symptoms for whom treatment has not worked, and to parents who don’t have the resources, time, or ability to find the best treatment options for their kids.

There is reason for optimism, however. First, many dedicated doctors, researchers, health practitioners, and outreach and advocacy groups stand ready to help families seeking assistance. NatCapLyme and the CLDN are two such groups that helped my family, and there may be similar groups in your region that can provide needed information and support.

Second, everyone agrees that early detection and treatment is the best way to prevent Lyme Disease. If caught in its early stages, Lyme can be treated effectively with a relatively short course of antibiotics. Here are the preventive steps my family now follows, courtesy of NatCapLyme:

• Perform daily tick checks, especially when your family has been outdoors that day.
• Wear long, loose-fitting, light-colored clothes, and use an EPA approved insect repellant, preferably one that contains DEET.
• Avoid tick-infected areas such as tall grass and dense foliage, especially in the spring when the ticks’ eggs are hatching.
• Promptly remove attached ticks using fine-tipped tweezers, and send them off to a lab for testing (many local health departments and universities are also offering this service now).
• Upon finding an attached tick, consult immediately with your pediatrician or Lyme Disease specialist.

Besides following these precautions, parents should take the time now to consult with their pediatricians so they’ll know in advance how to recognize and treat Lyme Disease. Hopefully, more parents will know what I didn’t, and fewer children will have to miss out on spring activities and the joy of playing outdoors.

Once upon a time, there was a family of katydids who lived on a huge, green lawn. Theirs wasn’t the only family of katydids who lived on the lawn. In fact, there were thousands of other katydid families who shared the same lawn for eating, sleeping, sunning, and generally having a good time.

Life was indeed good for the katydids. They had plenty of grass to eat and very few enemies that tried to eat them. The lawn sprinklers came on once a day and gave them plenty to drink, along with a nice bath. On the whole, every day was a good day.

Except Wednesdays. Wednesday was mowing day. On Wednesday, gardeners came to cut the grass with their big, fast, powerful mowers. Nothing terrified the katydids more than a power mower coughing to life. Vrooom! Vroooooom! VROOOMMMM!!!!

The mowers especially scared the youngest daughter in the katydid family. Her name was Katie. (Katie was a most popular name for baby girl katydids.) What terrified Katie most were the whirling blades of the mower that sliced every insect in their path into microscopic bug clippings. The katydids had to hop for their lives every time the lawn mowers appeared.

The mowers so terrified Katie that her parents called a meeting of all the katydid families to discuss what could be done. The meeting was held between the double rows of boxwoods enclosing their lawn. There the katydids argued what to do. Many wanted to sabotage the mowers. Some suggested they chew holes into the mower’s gas lines. But others argued that katydids were too little and weak to tamper with mower engines.

Little Katie despaired of hearing what the katydids couldn’t do. “You’re right,” she said to the leaders of the katydid council. “Each of us alone is too small and weak to do anything about the mowers . . .”

A katydid elder interrupted. “That’s just what we were saying.”

“Please let me finish,” Katie pleaded. “While each of us is too small and weak on her own, if we all worked together, we could get rid of those nasty lawn mowers.”

“How are we going to do that?” said another katydid. “Lawn mowers are machines. We’re just frail little insects.”

Katie smiled. “Lawn mowers may be machines, but we have strength in numbers. Listen to me. I have a plan.” She told everyone about her plan. To Katie’s surprise, the other katydids liked it. Everyone decided that the following Wednesday would be the day when the katydids fought back.

The next Wednesday began just like every other Wednesday. Early in the morning, the gardeners started their power mowers. They drove them onto the katydids’ lawn. But instead of panicking, not one katydid could be seen hopping about the lawn. Everyone was unusually calm.

Calm, that is, until Katie gave the order. Just as the gardeners set to work, tens of thousands of katydids swarmed out of the hedges surrounding the lawn. They fell upon the gardeners and their mowers. Every katydid on the lawn took part. But not just the katydids living on the lawn. Katie had sent out word to all the neighboring lawns, fields, and forests. She asked all katydids living nearby to come and help.

And help they did. The katydids swarmed the gardeners. The gardeners swatted at them with their caps. The katydids tormented them so much that the gardeners jumped off their mowers and ran away. The katydids didn’t relent. They chased the gardeners for nearly a mile down the road. So terrifying was the experience that the gardeners never returned to work.

The lawn mowers themselves fared worse. The katydids chewed up all their wires and fuel lines. None worked again.

Katie was a hero. She alone recognized what could be accomplished when everyone worked together. And the lawn never even needed mowing again. The katydids (munch, munch!) made sure the grass was trimmed neatly every day.

When it comes to parenting, the main focus for many is placed upon making sure that your child has more happiness and opportunity than you had during your own childhood years. While it’s certainly admirable to want to provide your child with everything she needs in order to be happy, healthy and to grow into a thriving, well-adjusted adult, it’s suprisingly easy to tip the scales in favor of spoiling your child without meaning to. On the surface, a bit of spoiling can seem harmless. After all, what’s the worst that can happen if you give your child the best? In all actuality, there are some very solid reasons for making sure that you don’t spoil your children and why you may actually be doing them a disservice.

Spoiled Children Are Often Entitled Children

Making sure that your child wants for nothing as she grows up may seem like the recipe for a perfect childhood, but that’s not actually the case. When your child has everything she wants delivered with no questions asked and is never forced to work hard in order to earn luxury items, she learns that she’s entitled to the best simply by virtue of existing. This sense of entitlement can become very problematic as she gets older, leaving her resentful of any situation that requires her to expend effort and utterly incapable of dealing with disappointment or rejection.

Spoiling a Child Will Leave Her Unprepared for Adulthood

As an adult, you know that nothing comes to you for free and that it’s necessary to work hard in order to obtain the things that you need to survive, let alone luxury items that you’d like to have. You understand that conflict resolution is an essential skill, that disappointments will come but that they must be faced and that you won’t always get the credit or rewards that you deserve. It’s normal and natural to want to protect your child from those lessons, but it will only leave her more bewildered and hurt when she eventually has to face them as an adult. Rather than spoiling your child with a shower of gifts, intervening to fight her every battle for her and demanding that she be rewarded for the slightest achievement, consider the impact that such behavior would have on her view of adulthood. Unless you’re willing to financially and emotionally support your child for the rest of your life, you’ll need to help her learn to navigate these very real aspects of adult life by allowing her to experience disappointment and helping her to work for the things that she wants.

Spoiling Your Child is Spoiling His Work Ethic

Because you know that adulthood isn’t easy, it’s tempting to shower your little one with gifts to make sure that he has a magical childhood to look back on when the going gets tough. The truth of the matter is that regardless of how harsh it may seem, childhood is a training ground for the tough work of being an adult. If the hottest and most expensive new toys are purchased at the slightest indication of desire, your child is never expected to do any chores and has no concept of the value of a dollar, how is he ever going to learn how to make a living when he gets older? There’s nothing wrong with purchasing the occasional gift or making a splurge purchase for a birthday or holiday, but you’ll still want to make sure that your child also works to earn money in order to save for things that he wants. Otherwise, he’ll have no work ethic as an adult and no understanding of why he should work hard as an adult.

A Spoiled Child is Less Likely to Respect Authority

Catering to your child’s every whim and refusing to act as an authority figure not only diminishes your own role as such in your home, but also makes it difficult for your child to respect any authority figures. After all, you’re the first and last word in authority over your child; if you don’t exercise any and make it very clear to your child that he’s entitled to any behavioral habits he likes, he’ll extend that teaching far beyond the walls of your home. What begins as a problem deferring to the authority of a teacher could easily become a refusal to respect that of an employer, making it difficult for your child to hold down a job or enjoy a successful career.

Your Child is Not a Status Symbol

Showering your child with the best of everything and making sure that she’s always dressed to the nines is not an effective method of spoiling her irreparably, but also of turning her into a status symbol. Proving to your neighbors and friends that you’re affluent and successful by turning your child into one not only spoils her, but also sends the message that her only value lies within her ability to be a great accessory. If keeping up with the Joneses is something that you simply must do, buy a few luxury cars rather than spoiling your child senselessly.

This article was originally published on the website GoNannies.com on April 8, 2013. To view the original post, please visit http://www.gonannies.com/blog/2013/why-spoiling-your-child-isnt-always-for-the-best/.  Kindly note that the views expressed in this article are those of the author and not necessarily those of DadTellMeAStory.com.

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My 10-year-old son Connor, crazy about baseball, was anticipating Little League tryouts, so, mitts in hand, we jogged over to the neighborhood ball field one afternoon.

We were playing catch when Connor overthrew me and the ball landed in a nearby clump of bushes. I headed into the tall thicket, found the ball and yelled, “Here’s a pop-up!” and launched the ball in the air.

What happened next is still a blur. As I ducked back through the low-hanging branches, I heard a sickening thump, followed by Connor’s cry. I rushed out to find him lying on the ground, clutching his head. Apparently, the ball had hit him when he tried to make a diving catch.

Connor has suffered so many head bonks on the playground over the years, at first I didn’t think the injury was too bad. But hours later — after he complained of headaches and nausea — I rushed him to the local emergency room.

By the time we arrived, Connor’s pain was so bad he could barely walk. Following an MRI, I knew there was trouble just by looking at the radiologist’s face. “We have to get your son to Children’s Hospital,” he said. “He has a hematoma, and he needs to be examined by a pediatric neurologist.”

When confronted with this news, the only thing I could think to say was, “How do I get to Children’s Hospital?”

The radiologist shook his head. “You won’t be driving. An ambulance is already in route to take you there.”

Wow, I thought, this is serious. At the time, I knew little about hematomas, other than they were a collection of blood, usually clotted, caused by internal bleeding. In the coming days, I was to learn far more about them than I’d ever imagined.

I knew more about the hospital we were going to. We live in Washington, D.C., and our children’s hospital is the Children’s National Medical Center. As one of the nation’s premier children’s hospital, the Center sets the standard for providing treatment to children and support for their families.

Connor was loaded into the back of the ambulance on a gurney, and I sat in the front passenger’s seat while two emergency medical technicians monitored my son. My mind raced as fast as the ambulance’s engine as we sped through the streets of Washington. Why was this happening? How could such a serious injury have resulted from a fluke play? How would this injury affect my son’s life?

All I could do was send up a little prayer and comfort my son by assuring him he’d be getting the best care possible. He was incredibly brave throughout, far more calm and collected than I was.

At Children’s, we were met by a team of specialists. After a number of tests, the neurologist gave us our first piece of good news. The hematoma was on the outside of Connor’s brain, and wasn’t interfering with his mental or physical functions.

But there was also some bad news. The hematoma was so large it was causing Connor excruciating headaches, requiring morphine to manage his pain. We waited a day to see if the hematoma would shrink in size, but when it didn’t, we consulted one of the hospital’s skilled neurosurgeons, Dr. John Myseros. As we were discussing the pros and cons of surgery, my son spoke up and said, “I want the surgery.”

Dr. Myseros liked Connor’s decisiveness, and with our consent, operated immediately to remove the hematoma. The operation only lasted an hour, but to me, it felt like a lifetime. Dr. Myseros and his team drilled out a quarter size plate in my son’s skull, cleaned out the clotted blood, and reattached the skull plate with titanium screws. Connor came out of surgery with a seven-inch incision and his head was wrapped in gauze like a mummy, but his headaches were gone.

Connor has made a full recovery. Going into the hospital the day he was injured, I couldn’t help thinking how unlucky we were because of a fluke ball toss. By the time we left the hospital on Connor’s day of discharge, I couldn’t help thinking how fortunate we had been. Connor’s scary ordeal had a best-case outcome, and for that, we have Dr. Myseros and the other amazing doctors, nurses, and technicians at Children’s Hospital to thank. Besides the excellent medical care Connor received, I most appreciated the kindness, patience and understanding the Center’s staff showed to my son, his mom and me. There was nothing they wouldn’t do for us.

Many other parents feel the same way, as demonstrated by the letters they’ve sent to Children’s National Medical Center describing their experiences. You can read these letters for yourself and see just how much the doctors, nurses, and staff mean to these families, many of whom come from around the world for treatment.

On subsequent visits to the hospital for check-ups, Connor and I saw some of these families and the children who’d come for medical treatment. Often the children were very sick, and I understood that several had cancer or brain tumors. The outcome for many of these kids wouldn’t be as bright as my son’s, and my heart went out to them. But I took comfort in knowing they were receiving the very best care from some of the country’s most talented, dedicated, and compassionate medical professionals.

If you have the opportunity, remember to thank these angels in white lab coats and green scrubs who work in our nation’s children’s hospitals. Making a donation, serving as a volunteer or simply saying thank you, goes a long way toward supporting the incredible services they provide. And it just might help them save the life of a child, as they did mine.

And I’m not just talking about professional baseball. As a parent, my real joy comes from watching Little Leaguers play. I can’t wait to root for my kids on the ball field.

What about you? Is one of your parental pleasures watching your children play organized sports? If so, what if your son or daughter is less enthused about playing than you are? Should you push them?

This is a question that I, as a father of two boys, struggle with all the time.

You may be thinking I’m probably one of those dads who want their kids to excel at sports. You know the kind — a parent, with the best of intentions, who pushes their kids to compete in a sport just because that’s the sport dad played and enjoyed so much. Or worse, a dad who shouts from the sidelines and complains to the coach that junior doesn’t get enough playing time.

Actually, I’m not that kind of parent. As a young child, I dreaded team sports. I realized firsthand how humiliating it can be to strike out three times in front of everyone, or to have that fly ball sail over your head in the outfield. Fortunately, my parents recognized my fears and didn’t force me to play. I only took up team sports later, after I had matured and acquired the confidence to compete.

I think most of us agree that for kids who are anxious about playing on teams, it’s best not to push. Instead, channel their energies toward individual sports such as tennis, golf or martial arts, or perhaps into non-sporting activities such as art, music, writing or acting, where they can gain confidence and, more importantly, have stress-free fun.

But what about children who have an interest in team sports, but are reluctant or unsure? Wouldn’t a little pushing be a good thing? After all, kids won’t know whether they’ll like a sport, or even be good at it, until they try.

I believe there’s an important difference between pushing children to excel at sports, and pushing them to try.

My strategy has always been to first ask my sons if they’re interested in playing a particular sport (or for that matter, any new activity). We talk about whether their friends are playing, what they like or dislike about the sport, and how much time playing will take away from other activities they want or have to do (e.g., school work!). I try to keep the conversation positive, non-pressured and geared to what’s important to them, not me. If they’re interested but still undecided or hesitant, only then do I encourage my sons to try their hand at playing that particular sport.

I think a little nudge from mom or dad is sometimes necessary and helpful. According to Dr. Jim Taylor, the author of Positive Pushing, children don’t like discomfort. With any new activity outside their comfort zone, they’ll often put forward effort until it gets difficult or challenging. Then they’ll look to others, often parents, to see whether they’ve done enough and can quit. While Dr. Taylor acknowledges that if children are pushed too hard, they may rebel and fail to achieve, he also says that if parents don’t push enough, kids may become self-satisfied and unmotivated.

That’s been my experience. I have a suspicion that if my sons aren’t pushed to try new things now and then, they might instead spend their entire day playing video games. Moreover, if my kids decide they want to try a sport, I insist they commit to finishing the entire season. If they want to give the sport up after the season is over, that’s OK. But I don’t want them to get in the habit of quitting on their teammates in mid-season or giving up when the activity becomes more strenuous or demanding.

Besides, the benefits of playing sports are immense. Team sports promote confidence, camaraderie, and a healthy and active lifestyle. Studies show that kids who play sports are less likely to become obese, abuse drugs or alcohol, or to perform poorly in school. Learning to compete prepares a child for the demands of teenage and adult life, including the ability to cope with both success and failure.

Every child is different, but if you agree that a gentle paternal nudge helps from time to time, consider these strategies to reduce your child’s anxiety about playing team sports for the first time:

• Get your kids used to the idea of playing an organized sport and being part of a team. Let them watch a game or a practice. Take them to the ball field a week or so before their own practice begins and walk with them around the field. Or let them wear their uniform or sports shoes around the house so they’ll get excited about being a team player.

• Consider a little instruction before the season to help your child get up to speed. I strongly recommend that this coaching not come from mom or dad, but from another adult, preferably a coach. Kids will listen more intently to, and try harder for, just about anyone other than a parent. Many leagues offer off-season clinics at little or no cost to families. Another option is try a one-on-one lesson, or better yet, a group lesson with a small circle of friends, to give your kids a confidence boost in their playing skills.

• Keep the pressure off your child by never coaching from the sidelines. I’m always tempted to shout out a few tips to my sons because, after all, don’t I know my boys best and how to help them? Fight this well-intentioned but misguided impulse. There can only be one coach on a team, and yelling out conflicting or distracting instructions from the sidelines will only heap more stress and confusion on your child.

• To give you and your child peace of mind, ask about the safety procedures the league follows. A child’s developing reflexes, coordination and reaction time might not make them ready for advanced play. Enrollment in leagues is mostly age-based, but you still may have options between, for example, having your child play T-ball rather than machine or coach-pitched baseball. Using the right equipment is also essential. In baseball, for instance, does your league use or require soft-strike baseballs, mouth guards, non-composite bats, and helmets for pitchers as well as for hitters and catchers?

• Finally, do your part in making sports a positive, fun experience for your children. Rather than critiquing their performance after each game, ask them what they thought about the event and how they did. Focus on how hard they tried rather than specific results. And, of course, show up for games whenever you can, understand their challenges, and celebrate their improvements and triumphs, win or lose.

Hopefully, if you consider these strategies, both you and your kids will be ready this spring to PLAY BALL!

Carole Bloch, the Director of a non-governmental organization in South Africa, The Project for the Study of Alternative Education (PRAESA), contributed this essay advocating the increased use and appreciation of stories — both oral and written — in African languages as well as international languages such as English, in order to promote literacy and cultural appreciation, understanding, and diversity.

In this society which urgently needs to educate citizens to be articulate and literate, there is something simple but profound we can all do – we can tell and read stories to children.  Far from being a luxury, the story habit establishes in children the sturdy bedrock on which to grow the power of empathy and an educated mind. It starts with enjoyment.

Take Tara: Tara’s mom knows that Tara loves books. It’s obvious because when they sit down to read, Tara’s eyes twinkle and she waves her arms up and down in anticipation. Tara’s most favourite book is ‘Twinkle Twinkle’. She squeals with excitement when she sees the cover and tries to grab the book and chew it! Tara is seven months old and she’s on her way to becoming a reader – in her mother tongue.

With International Mother Tongue Day around the corner again, I ask myself if it can ever be a day to unite South Africa – this multilingual land, as we recognise and celebrate our various mother tongues? Can we share the beauty and power of literature through our various languages? Whatever we call them, our mother tongues are the languages we feel at home with – the languages we are comfortable to use. Whether it’s one or a combination doesn’t matter. What matters is feeling a sense of ownership, belonging and strength. By the time we’re five years old, we’ve already used them to learn about and communicate what it means to be human – profound emotions, desires, knowledge, and views about our worlds.

As a baby, it ‘s normal and natural for Tara to visit the library or bookshop regularly with her mom, who chooses what to offer her daughter from shelves of picture books. Over time, they’ll spend hours together playing with images and words that delight them both, whether in a book or on a digital device. Like all babies are able to do, given the chance, Tara will make positive emotional connections to books and stories. She’ll also learn many literacy lessons before she’s even near formal school age.  And as she goes through her childhood, it won’t be a problem to find a constant stream of inspiring reading material to suit Tara’s developing tastes.

There’s an abundance of what’s needed – and more.

But that’s not all. It’s also normal and natural to expect Tara to use her mother tongue for schooling. In fact from the cradle to the end of schooling, and perhaps into university, Tara will have the choice of communicating through her mother tongue. She will learn to read and write in English, and she will never drop it because her school will never stop offering it as a teaching medium.

She can, of course, and most likely will learn to read, write and speak other languages, either at the same time or after she has learned to read and write in English.  And though she’ll ‘just’ learn these languages as subjects, she might well learn them very well, if she has good teachers. She won’t have to leave her language behind her in the playground as she goes into the school building. Why would she? That wouldn’t be educationally sound, would it? Nor would it be good for her self-esteem to have to ‘start from scratch’ with an unknown language, forcing her to literally scratch around for ways to express herself. This is why mother tongue based education is the norm for English –  and some Afrikaans speakers. It doesn’t guarantee success of course, but it provides strong learning foundations.

Why are there such different opportunities for African language speaking children – conceptually and practically? Do we expect them to learn to read and write?  Do we expect from them the same kind of regular reading that is normal for English speakers?  Do we want for them the pleasure of a great read in a language that flows easily and soothes their insecurities or wafts them off to a magical world?

If we do, then why are there barely enough books to read to them and for them to read alone for more that a month or two (assuming you find the few noteworthy bookshops or libraries that have them)?  Toddlers, preschoolers, primary school age children or teenagers – all quickly run out of reading material in their mother tongue when regular reading is attempted.

With the exception of English speakers and some Afrikaans speakers, most young children do not continue using mother tongue in school beyond the first three years. They might switch over to English in Grade 4, and be taught by teachers who themselves do not necessarily know English well at all. Or they might be among the few whose parents can afford to send them to a school with English speaking teachers. The mother tongue based education system that we know is best for all children (we do know that, don’t we?) is made available almost only to the offspring of those of us previously advantaged by apartheid. This is profoundly ironic; so many people have deeply painful memories of mother tongue education or ‘moedertaal onderwys’ – memories that abound with all the intended evil of the apartheid education system. It’s not surprising that so many people still equate reading and writing with English – and a good education with English medium education.

But if children are to be hauled out of the deep trough that their education seems to have sunk them into to, then we have to change this perception. Growing into reading in mother tongue and being educated in your mother tongue is appropriate for all children, despite the real challenges around teacher training, terminology development, book creation and provision.   It’s doesn’t have to be an ‘either-or’ matter; it’s both mother tongue and other languages for literature development and educational development. Coming to love stories and other literature is the very substance of becoming literate and it’s a deeply social and cultural process that can start early, and doesn’t end.

The Nal’ibali National Reading for Enjoyment Campaign has since May 2012, produced weekly 8 page bilingual supplements in isiXhosa –English and isiZulu and English during term time. This has involved writing lead articles, sourcing stories and other texts and complex translation work, as well as editing, design and layout processes.  Skilled and competent people are required, who have experience with childrens’ literacy, literature and multilingualism. It has also involved negotiating and meeting tight newspaper publishing deadlines.  This year, another batch of supplements will also appear in Afrikaans and Sesotho.  It’s all available to read on web or mobisites or to download and print out. So adults and children in several areas are now able to choose the language/s they want to read in, and can expect every week during term time, to be able to get hold of at least two stories to share with the children in their lives, be they at home, in a reading club or a classroom.

All families should have the right to expect conditions that allow their children a chance of satisfying and successful learning. In a multilingual society like South Africa, this includes nurturing and looking after the languages people use.  The more initiatives like this and those of a similar nature succeed, the more we will have cause to celebrate our mother tongues. Where there’s a will there’s a way: join us!

Carole Bloch
Director
The Project for the Study of Alternative Education
Capetown, South Africa
February 21, 2013

But, like money, manners don’t grow on trees. I’ve found that I’m always reinforcing, and yes, correcting, the manners of my kids. According to Susan Stiffelman, a licensed family therapist, kids are innately egocentric, so it’s not in their wheelhouse to always remember to say thank you or you’re welcome, to wait their turn or to look an adult in the eye and introduce themselves. If I’ve said “What do you say?” once to my boys when they’re shown a kindness, I’ve said it a thousand times.

But when I’m correcting manners, I sometimes get suspicious looks from other parents. As if they’re thinking, “What kind of fuddy duddy are you?” Or, “Where are you from? The set of ‘Downton Abbey‘?”

I understand where these parents are coming from. We live in a frenetic society where everyone’s in a rush, and there aren’t enough hours in the day for family time, let alone manners instruction. Some parents are just too harried and tired and teaching manners goes by the wayside. Besides, society is less formal now, so isn’t teaching children manners old-fashioned?

Like everything else with parenting, it’s about balance. Learning proper behavior is a lifelong pursuit, and good manners don’t grow roots without a lot of nurturing. Children have to be reminded constantly and consistently to use their manners. Manners — like all good behaviors — must be practiced until they become habit.

But that doesn’t mean you have to come off as a nag. Be measured, positive and reasonable in your comments and expectations. Don’t scold or ridicule. And when your children do behave politely, praise them for their good manners.

At the same time, make sure you reinforce their good behavior with your own. You are your kids’ #1 role model. If we’re not setting good examples ourselves, how can we expect kids to be polite?

You also have to pick your battles. Give your kids small doses of manners instruction at first; then build from there. For example, instead of drilling table manners into your children every evening, start by having one formal family dinner every week where manners are observed. Ours is on Sunday night. Napkins on lap, correct use of utensils, no eating before all are seated, and no leaving the table until being excused. Everyone is expected to contribute to the dinner conversation… what we’re thankful for, the highlights of the past week and what’s on the agenda for the coming one.

Another great activity is having parents help young children create thank-you cards when they receive gifts. Making and presenting thank-you cards (even to immediate family members) can be as fun for children as receiving the gift itself.

Here’s another tip. When teaching manners, try not to overwhelm your kids with too many dos and don’ts. Choose the top five manners you want them to learn and practice those first. Our top five are (1) the basics — saying please, thank you, and you’re welcome; (2) how to politely ask for things; (3) essential table manners; (4) how to answer the telephone; and (5) making eye contact and introductions. Allow no backsliding on your top five. As kids learn and take pride in practicing these core manners, introduce a few more and see how they respond. Once a foundation of good manners is established, adding more manners to the mix will be easier.

I’m not too much of a manners curmudgeon, though, to realize that children may need incentives to learn manners. Kids want to know what’s in it for them. “Cause I said so” isn’t a reason that’s going to cut it.

If your family thinks it’s a good idea to pay children a weekly allowance, you might consider linking allowance to improvement in behavior or practicing good manners. For example, in our home, we reward our children for using their manners, treating others with respect and doing something nice for someone else.

Another reward is to treat your children to a meal at the restaurant of their choice. Restaurants aren’t only festive for kids, but they serve to reinforce good behavior. When kids see real tablecloths and napkins, a cordial atmosphere and other diners practicing good etiquette, they may respond by upping their own behavior accordingly.

But rewards don’t have to be monetary. Praise from a parent or teacher can go farther in impressing the importance of manners on a child than any new toy or deposit in the piggy bank.

It takes hard work and commitment to teach our kids manners. But when you receive a compliment from a teacher that your child is one of the most polite in class, or if your kids shine at a dinner party hosted by a neighbor, you’ll know it was well worth it.