The early days with newborn twins are a physical, mental, and emotional challenge. You’d be wise to recruit some friends or family to come and help you during the early months with your twins.

What should you ask them to do? Anything you currently take for granted or where extra hands would make things easier.

1. Watching the Other Kids

Your older children may be neglected when the twins arrive. Set up play dates for your kids with their friends.

2. Taking the Night Shift

The true test of how much your friends and family love you is whether they will take a turn with the babies overnight. Will they help feed the twins, change diapers, and get them back to bed when they wake up during the night?

The beauty of this service is that you can get a full night’s sleep, which is a rare and precious commodity.

3. Babysitting

You can’t stay in your house forever. You’ll need a mental break from the drag of your routine. Invite your friend to come babysit your twins while you go out on a date or even just for a walk around the block.

4. Helping with Doctor’s Visits

Taking your twins to the doctor’s office for well baby checkups is a juggling act. You always need extra helping hands to get babies ready for measuring and examination. Plus you’ll need to soothe them after any shots or uncomfortable examinations.

5. Hold the Babies

Who doesn’t like to hold a little baby? They are so cute! Exactly. Recruit your friends to come over and hold your babies, soothe them, and while they are there they can be called on to help with other tasks.

6. Feed the Babies

Regardless of whether you bottle feed or breast feed your twins, it is hard to feed both by yourself. A helper can bottle feed one baby while you feed the other. A friend can help bring babies to and from Mom for feeding and take care of burping and changing.

Just Ask

Your friends and family are willing to help you with your twins. You just need to ask for help. Reach out to them with specific things they can do and they will respond and come to your aid. If you ask for general “help” you’ll never seem to get what you need.

Picture by SurlyGirl

This is the first episode of the Dad’s Guide to Twins podcast. I’m excited to bring you tips and tricks on having and raising twins via a new podcast.

In this inaugural episode, I discuss essential tips for naming your twins.

This podcast was inspired by my blog post on how to name your twins.

Listen to the podcast to hear important tips for naming your twins, including:

• The long term implications of your twins’ names
• Valuing each of your twins as unique individuals
• Naming patterns to avoid with your twins
• Where to seek inspiration for twin names
• The ultimate twin name check you’ll need to use

Sites mentioned in this podcast:

• how-to-choose-baby-names.com
• Social Security Administration’s list of popular twin names
• The Dad’s Guide to Twins book

Please let me know what you think of this first episode of the podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a rating and review on iTunes.

Thank you all for your support!

Download the podcast in .mp3 format (right click and “save as…”)

You can find Joe on Twitter and Facebook.

The safety of your twins should be one of your top priorities. As such, twinproofing your home is something you need to do.

What is Twinproofing?

Twinproofing is how you childproof your home when you have twins. Having twins in your home requires special safety considerations.

You Need Basic Childproofing for Twins Too

The classic tips on how to childproof your home also apply with twins.

As a basic strategy, try to prevent your twins from accessing, reaching, touching, or discovering anything that can do them harm. Expand your mind as you look at your home.

Get down on your hands and knees so you are at your kids’ level and look around. Analyze your home and see what trouble you can get into and what things you can reach that you didn’t think about before.

The kitchen and bathroom are areas where you need to be very cautious because of the overabundance of potential hazards (water, chemicals, sharp objects, etc.).

In the rest of the house, look at power outlets, cords, drawers, shelves, window blinds, and anything else that can be reached by your twins.

Regular Childproofing Isn’t Enough

While general advice on childproofing your home works for twins, you can’t stop there. Twinproofing your home requires extra vigilance and prevention.

Singleton babies can only do so much damage by themselves.

Twins, on the other hand, take mischief to a whole new level.

Keep in mind that each of your twins is an individual. This means that each of your twins has their own thoughts, imaginations, and crazy of ideas of how to get into trouble.

If one your twins doesn’t come up with a creative way to get into trouble, his or her sibling will. Once that idea is formed, it will be immediately shared with the other sibling and you’ll have double trouble.

Two little minds working together to reach the forbidden object or open the off-limits drawer can quickly invent a method or solution to get what they want.

Twins Enable Each Other’s Mischief

Your twins will be each other’s partners in crime. Twinproofing means you need to account for what your twins can do, not just by themselves, but with each other’s help.

Twins will help push each other up to places one can’t reach. Twins will combine their strength to break things. Twins will both squeeze into places only meant for one.

Look at your house from a new perspective: your twins’ view. What trouble could you cause if you were their size and had a ready accomplice to join your adventures?

One danger zone to consider is the door. Your twins will chase each other around the house and one will turn and slam the door on the other twin. Little fingers or toes can easily be smashed when this happens. Childproof your doors with simple finger pinch prevention devices you can buy at the home improvement store that keep the door from shutting all the way.

You’ve got your work cut out for you. Start twinproofing your home today and you’ll get a head start on your curious, and often mischievous, twins.

Picture by Cheryl

Shopping for car seats for twins can be a challenge.

Car seats are one of the most important things you need to buy for your babies. In fact, the medical staff won’t let you leave the hospital without car seats for your twins.

Find a Car Seat You Love, Then Buy Two

Unlike strollers, or even baby carriers, there aren’t car seats made specifically for twins. Do your research and find a car seat you like, then buy two. One advantage of buying two of the same car seat is that you can interchange babies or positions in the car without having to remember the nuances of each particular seat.

Different Styles

Even though you may buy the same model car seat for your twins, you can often get different colors, patterns, or styles. This is really personal preference but you might like some variety in the back seat. As your twins get older, they will have an opinion on which seat they like the best. Different styles could lead to them taking turns and sharing – which is always a good thing.

Car Seats for Growing Twins

One challenge of buying car seats for twins is that the babies grow so fast that they may soon outgrow the car seats you buy. The good news is that you can purchase a car seat that will accommodate your twins as they grow. A convertible car seat like the Britax Roundabout will work for your twins for many years.

Check weight limits on the seats. Are they rear facing to accommodate newborn infant twins? Do they recline and then adjust upright to support a child who can sit up?

Our girls started in a pair of Graco infant car seats. After about 6 months, they graduated to a pair of Britax Roundabouts that served them past their third birthday.

If you can’t get by with just one set of car seats for your twins, don’t worry. You can look for a gently used car seat from a sibling or family member. One tip is that you shouldn’t buy a used car seat from an unknown source. Your babies’ safety is the priority when selecting a car seat.

Car Seats and Strollers for Twins

Do you want an all-in-one travel system with car seats and stroller? Or do you want to leave the car seats in the car and move the twins, as needed, to a stroller?

With our newborn twins, we had a pair of infant Graco car seats. These had a base that was anchored in the car and a removable baby carrier that we could transfer to and from the car with ease. We combined these car seats with an inline Baby Trend Double Snap N Go Stroller.

Considering newborns sleep a lot, it was nice to be able to remove the car seat and snap it into the Snap and Go without waking up one of our sleeping girls.

Don’t Forget Twin Discounts on Car Seats

It can get expensive very quickly to buy car seats for twins. Don’t forget to ask for your twin discount. We purchased two car seats at Babies R Us and they gave us the “twin discount” of 10%.

What to Look for in a Car Seats for Twins

The features you want from individual car seats also apply to the car seats for your twins.

Be sure any car seat you buy includes these features:

• Easy to clean – Can you quickly and easily remove the cover to wash it after your baby spits up or has a diaper blowout?
• Consider air travel – If you will be flying with infant twins and want them in their own seat, make sure the car seat is approved for airplane use.
• How heavy is the seat? How will it be to carry two car seats through the airport? Will you be moving your seats around a lot? Car seats can be pretty hefty.
• Five-point harness – You want your babies securely tied into place.
• Do the car seats fit in your car? Measure and test them in your vehicle before the twins are born.
• Latch anchors or seat belts? Most modern cars have a latch system for attaching car seats. Inspect your car and see how you will anchor the car seat. Be sure the car seats for your twins can safely be attached.

My Recommendation

I recommend you start with a pair of small infant carriers like the Graco car seats we used. Combine these with a Snap and Go inline stroller and you’ll be set for 6-8 months.

Once your twins outgrow those you can move to convertible car seats like the Britax Roundabout that served our twins for more than three years.

Your twins will wake up in the middle of the night for various different reasons.

They may be hungry, fussy, need a diaper change, or just hit the end of a sleep cycle.

Regardless of the reason for waking up, you need to train them to sleep through the night.

Your goal is to get them back to sleep as quickly as possible. The sooner they sleep, the sooner you will sleep.

Examine Your Routine

Think about how you interact with your twins when they wake up in the middle of the night.

Do you turn on the light and greet them with excitement just like it was play time? If this is the case, your babies will want to stay awake.

When you need to care for your twins in the middle of the night, make it as boring as possible.

Boring

Your twins love to play and interact with you. If you give them the chance, they will want to play even in the middle of the night. Avoid anything “fun” when you are called upon to care for them at night.

Quietly

Take care of the business at hand quietly. You’ll be amazed how many things you can do for your little one in the middle of the night without saying a word. Additionally, the quieter you are, the less likely you’ll wake up the sleeping twin or your spouse.

In the Dark

Train your twins to understand that light means daytime and dark means sleeping time. With very young babies you can do this merely with actions. For example, don’t turn on the lights in the middle of the night, or use very minimal lighting (just enough to get the job done).

For example, I’ll turn the closet light on in our girls’ room and crack the door so I can get just enough light to see what needs to be done without waking everyone up.

Sleeping Time

Once your twins are a little older, you can explain to them that it is still sleeping time when it is dark outside and they need to go back to sleep.

However, don’t expect to reason with a newborn. Here, you’ll need to show through your actions and reactions to their behavior that it is still time to sleep.

Consistency

Maintain a consistent routine for bedtime and overnight. Your twins will start to see the pattern and know what to expect.

If every time they wake up in the middle of the night there is nothing fun to do or see, they will soon skip the boring night so they can sleep until the exciting daytime has arrived.

Picture by Ruth L

As a parent of twins, you’ll likely want to purchase twin related products like books, clothes, gifts, etc. for both your twins and yourself.

Here’s a list of several online stores that offer products specifically for twins and parents of twins:

• Just Multiples
• Double Blessings
• Double Up Books
• Trends In Twos
• Twinz Gear
• Just 4 Twins

Do you have a favorite site you’d like to see added to this list? Please let me know.

As a father of twins, you want to bond with your twins and build a strong, lasting relationship.

The key to this bond with your twins is to spend one-on-one time with each of them individually.

If you spend all your time with both twins, your attention will be divided.

Remember that your twins are individuals and each has his or her own personality and quirks.

Bonding with Infant Twins

The best time to bond with infant twins is when you are helping with their daily necessities.

Take the opportunity when you are feeding, changing diapers, or dressing your twins to talk with them and focus on them individually.

When our twin girls were still infants, I loved to take turns feeding each one. As they slowly drank their bottles, I could study their faces and expressions and talk with them about the great future that was (and is) ahead of them.

Bonding with Toddler Twins

My favorite bonding activity with toddler twins is to take them out one at a time to lunch. You can have father/son or daddy/daughter lunches with each of your kids too. I’ve found that getting out of the house with one of the twins helps focus all my attention on that one child and is a great way to build and strengthen my relationship with each child.

If lunch doesn’t work for you, consider other outings with just you and one of your kids. This could be a Saturday activity, an errand to the store, or another time together that best meets your schedule.

Make these one-on-one times a routine event and your kids will look forward to this tradition with Dad.

Regardless of the age of your twins, you can make time for each individual child. This time focused on each child will be the foundation of a strong bond and lasting relationship with your twins.

(Picture by redagainPatti)

So you’re expecting twins and they will be your first children. Congratulations!

Naturally, you’re a little nervous about the whole thing. It is natural to be nervous or a little scared about having twins.

You’ll have two big challenges: the learning curve of being a father and the learning curve of having twins.

The good news is that in your eyes, it is just one big learning curve!

Here’s what you can do to overcome your nerves and stress related to being a first time father of twins.

Learn

You need to learn the basics of caring for a baby. This includes holding, swaddling, diaper changing, dressing, feeding, burping, etc.

Before our first child was born, we took a basic baby care class at the local hospital. You can inquire for a similar class in your area. An infant child care class will arm you with the knowledge you need to handle the basic logistics of keeping your babies alive and well.

Practice

If you don’t practice what you learn, you won’t really learn and master those skills. Borrow a friend’s or relative’s baby and practice what you learned in your class.

During your twin pregnancy, volunteer to babysit a friend’s baby. It will give you some real-world practice before your twins arrive.

Discuss Responsibilities

Discuss with your spouse the child care responsibilities that will need to be handled when the twins arrive. Set clear expectations with each other of who will be doing what and when.

Clearly communicate with each other so there are fewer surprises when the time comes for action.

Things to discuss include: Who will change diapers? How will you feed the twins? Who wakes up during the night to feed and change the babies?

Adapt

Every twin pregnancy is different. Every set of newborn twins is different. Don’t get so caught up in a plan that you can’t change when change is required.

Be flexible and willing to adapt to the situation as required. Be willing to shoulder more responsibility if needed. Be prepared to work and support your wife. She may be recovering from a c-section or postpartum depression. Your job is to keep your twins (and wife) alive and well.

By the time your twins arrive, the nervousness of being a first time father will fade. You’ll be so busy and engaged with the present situation that you won’t have time to think about the hypothetical situations you worried about before.

Picture by Ankur P

Don’t expect to get lots of sleep with newborn twins in your house.

As you know, sleep deprivation is brutal and will be your reality for several months with newborn twins.

You have to change your expectations and routine to try and maximize the sleep you can get.

Here are some things you can do to improve your sleep:

Forget Normal Schedules

Traditionally you sleep at night and are awake during the day. Throw all “normal” expectations out the window when caring for newborn twins. There is nothing wrong with going to bed right after dinner at 6:30pm. Any time can be sleep time, so don’t say “I can’t go to sleep, it’s only 7:00.”

Yes, you can go to sleep whenever you need!

Sleep in Shifts

Take turns sleeping in shifts with your wife. For example, you can take the midnight to 4am shift and then swap from 4am to 8am. Your twins will have a pattern to their waking and eating. Plan your shifts around those predictable feedings.

Tag Team

During night time feedings, both you and your wife can get up to feed the babies. (This works best when bottle feeding.) When you work as a team, you can feed two babies in the time it takes to feed one. Everyone then gets back to sleep faster.

The disadvantage of this method is that no one sleeps for a longer period than the twin babies sleep. You’ll get more interruptions during the night.

Get Helpers

The best way to get a full night’s sleep is to not have to wake up to care for the babies. Who will take care of the babies then? I don’t recommend pushing all night time feeding responsibilities to your wife just so you can sleep. Instead, invite family or friends to come and help with the twins during the night shift.

With our newborn twins, we had someone staying with us for the first several months. With three adults in the house, we could rotate two people on child care every night. The third person could then sleep through the night. Knowing that I could sleep the whole night every third night was an awesome relief!

Sleep When You Can

If you aren’t caring for the twins, you can take a nap. You have my permission. It can be any time of day (just not while you are driving). After the babies are fed and changed, seriously think about your next activity. Is it more important than some sleep? Choose wisely.

Getting adequate sleep as a parent of newborn twins is a huge challenge. You need sleep to function properly both at home and work. Expect and plan for small stretches of sleep instead of a solid night’s worth of rest.

Take heart that the sleep interruption is only temporary. The good news is that when you awake in the middle of the night, the routine is pretty straight forward: feed baby, burb baby, change baby, go back to bed. You don’t have to think too much and that definitely helps in your sleepy stupor.

Picture by Rob Sharp

There are many creative ways to announce a twin pregnancy. Since most of your friends and family won’t be expecting the surprise news that you are having twins, you can have some fun when you announce you’re expecting twins.

While you’ll find many creative ways to announce a pregnancy by searching online, most are relevant to singleton babies.

Let me share with you how we announced our twins to our family and hopefully that will help get your creative juices flowing.

We bought two little identical picture frames that hold wallet size photos.

For each picture frame, we printed off a picture of baby feet.

In the first frame, we put the words: “Save this space for me” over the picture.

In the second frame, we had the words: “And me too”.

We wrapped both frames up together as a gift and gave them to the grandparents. Since we found out we were having twins on Christmas Eve, a gift wasn’t an unusual thing to receive. However, if you want to announce your twins some other time, the gift idea will still work. Everyone loves to get a present!

When the grandparents unwrapped the gift, the first impression was always “oh, what beautiful picture frames!”

Then they read the words and realized we were announcing our pregnancy. They asked “are you pregnant?” Their happy response was brief as they tried to mentally process why they were holding two picture frames.

After a brief pause as they figured out the second picture frame, their faces turned to expressions of shock. “You’re having twins?!”

It was a fun process to watch as the grandparents slowly uncovered the announcement of our twin pregnancy.

Remember, when you announce your twin pregnancy that people will be completely shocked. Enjoy the moment and plan your creative way to announce the pregnancy so you can have great memories of the announcement.

If you’ve already announced your twin pregnancy, what creative ways did you use? How was the announcement received?

Picture by surlygirl