Can your twins sleep in the same bedroom?

Absolutely.

Start Your Twins in One Crib

When we brought our girls home, they both shared a crib for several months.

When they started to roll over and get a little too crowded, we moved each girl to her own crib but kept them in the same room.

Two Cribs

Remember, your twins have been together since those early days inside the womb. They are completely used to each other and we noticed that ours actually missed each other when we first moved them to separate cribs. Our girls would squawk at each other to make sure the other was in the room.

Two Beds

When the time comes to move out of the cribs, you’ll probably want two beds, too. You should be able to fit two twin-sized beds (yes, they call them twin beds) in the floorspace of even a small bedroom. Alternatively, you can look at bunk beds or a trundle bed to economize space.

Advantages of Sharing a Room

• You only have to decorate one room.
• When you hear one of your twins crying in the middle of the night, you don’t have to figure out which bedroom to run to.
• All the kids’ clothes will be in one room, which makes it easy for dressing when they are young and makes it easy to share clothes (especially if you have identical twins)
• If you put both your twins in the same room, you don’t have to buy that bigger house right away.

Disadvantages of Sharing a Room

• As they get older, your twins will wake each other up. Most often this happens in the morning, when you are hoping for a few more minutes of sleep.
• Quieting down for bedtime is a challenge. Our girls like to chatter and sing to each other after we put them in their cribs. This leads to about an hour of activity before they calm down and finally go to sleep.
• Naps in the same room are difficult because your twins will just want to play with each other and not sleep.
• Boy/Girl twins will eventually reach the age where sharing a room is awkward.

If you’ve already had your twins, do they share a room?

Your toddler twins will put on a show that can only be described as “twinadoes.”

Imagine the Tazmanian Devil from the Looney Tunes cartoons. He spins like crazy, leaving a wake of destruction in his path. Then, he takes a quick break, looks around and starts spinning again. Here is a video of the Tazmanian Devil to remind you:

Now imagine your twins’ smiling faces in that whirlwind of destruction and enjoying every minute of it. There is something magical about toddler twins that you won’t see with a singleton toddler.

Your twins will run, jump, climb, topple, wrestle, destroy, demolish, slam, bite, hit, kick, cry, scream, and bounce off the walls like nothing you’ve ever seen.

The twins will feed off the actions and energy of the other to create super twinadoes that you’ll be hard pressed to contain.

Your clean family room will be struck by the twinadoes and you’ll have to carefully tread through the aftermath.

Yes, the twinadoes will even splatter food, spill drinks, leave crumbs, and dirty up your clean kitchen.

So don’t get too hung up on keeping your house spotless and tidy. As long as you have twinadoes roaming your halls, you’ll have messes to clean up.

The trick is to use the time when the eye of the storm is present to teach the whirling dervishes how to clean up their own messes!

A twin pregnancy is significantly more likely to result in bed rest for the mother. After all, mom is carrying two babies and will not only be uncomfortably large as the pregnancy progresses, but is at higher risk for other pregnancy complications.

My wife wasn’t on strict bed rest but she had to stay off her feet for several hours everyday.

The key to helping your wife survive bed rest during your twin pregnancy is to identify everything she does during the day and find a substitute.

Child Care

As a stay at home mom, my wife’s primary responsibility during the day was to care for our two preschool boys. To help alleviate the toll of child care, we called in helpers every afternoon. We had friends with similar aged kids come over to play with our boys. We paid a baby sitter on some days to play with our sons while my wife rested.

Every day there was a certain block of time scheduled where my wife could rest with her feet up and either I or a friend would help watch our other children.

Food Preparation

We stocked our freezer with ready-to-cook meals (many received from a freezer meal baby shower). This helped reduce time in the kitchen and let others besides my wife quickly prepare meals for the family.

Our church group also generously brought us meals.

Cleaning

You’ll need to reset your expectations of a clean house with twins. A bed rest pregnancy helps you face that reality even before your twins are born.

During our twin pregnancy, we had friends come over and help clean, paid some teenagers to clean other times, and even had our other kids step up and help out more.

Transportation

If mom is the taxi in your family, you’ll need a different driver. Consider carpools with others for activities. You may even want to adjust your work schedule if needed so you can pick up kids or run the errands that your wife used to do.

Work

Working while pregnant with twins is an extra challenge on top of caring for home and family. If your work is more flexible than your wife’s job, adjust your schedule to help fill in the gaps discussed above. Encourage your wife to seek alternative work options that allow her to stay off her feet.

Eventually the time will come to leave work to finish the pregnancy and deliver the babies. Remember that under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA in the United States), both the mother and father can use up to 12 weeks of leave for prenatal and post-pregnancy care. Your company will likely have specific policies on how that time is allocated (vacation vs. sick time or time without pay).

Make Your List

Make your list of everything your wife does during the day around the house, at work, or in the community.

Review the list and decide what can be cut. Yes, a twin pregnancy will require that some activities are dropped until a post-delivery time. With each item, ask, “Does this absolutely have to happen each day?” and “What is the worse that can happen if this doesn’t happen?”

Take what is left on the list and write the names of people that can help with those items. It may be you, it may be a neighbor, friend, family member, or help from your church group.

Take Action

Remember that when people say, “If there is anything I can do to help, just let me know,” that is your chance to enlist helpers. These people will be invaluable to you as you deal with bed rest during a twin pregnancy. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and commit people to specific things they can do to help you.

If you make your list as outlined above, you’ll know exactly where these well-wishers can pick up some slack and help out.

You want your twins to continue growing in the safety of mommy’s womb for as long as possible. Do everything you can to let your wife rest and you’ll significantly increase your odds of avoiding premature twins or time in the NICU.

Technically, culture aside, the time of birth indicates which twin is older. The first born is the oldest.

However, according to Nigerian legend shared with me by a Nigerian coworker, the birth order of twins isn’t what you’d think it would be.

The Nigerian tradition holds that the oldest twin pushes the youngest out of the womb first. Thus the first born twin isn’t the oldest after all, but the youngest. The oldest twin then arrives second.

So the next time someone asks you which of your twins is the oldest, you can really play with their minds by answering, “This one is the oldest; she was born last.”

Do you know of other twin-related legends or traditions from around the world? Please share them in the comments.

The manufacturers of baby products are very effective in creating specific tools for your babies.

If you are to financially survive twins, you don’t need to buy a lot of these baby products.

Often times, you can get away with just buying one product and sharing it between your twins.

On a recent trip to the baby store, we saw a “tummy time mat” for sale. This product was colorfully decorated and had some built in activities.

When faced with the decision to purchase a very specialized baby product, ask yourself this question:

What would I do for my baby if I didn’t have this product?

In the tummy time example, you don’t need a specialized mat. Try a blanket on the floor. Problem solved.

Save the money. Think minimal. Trust me, you’ll need the money for diapers (something you can’t skimp on) and doctor visits.

As a parent of twins, you will learn how to distinguish your kids even if they are identical.

Others will be baffled at how you can tell your babies or even your identical toddlers apart.

However, this inherent skill as a twin parent only applies to your kids. When I see other identical twins at church for example, I can’t tell them apart. I have to rely on context clues like hair style or clothing colors.

Why is this?

Time.

Having twins doesn’t give you super powers that let you identify any random identical twin.

Having twins gives you time with your twins. Constant contact and interaction helps you differentiate your twins.

Look for the uniqueness in each of your twins and write those down in your journal.

You thought you only bought those baby wet wipes to help with diaper changes. It turns out those little wet wipes come in handy anywhere you go.

Here are some ways you can use baby wet wipes:

1. Wipe off the kitchen counter
2. Clean up the spilled liquid off the floor
3. Wipe up that mess around the toilet when your kid misses
4. Clean hands in the car
5. Clean kids’ hands when they refuse to wash in the sink
6. Get bird poop off your car windshield or hood
7. Get bird poop off swings or slides at the playground
8. Wipe off the insect repellent from your kids once they are done playing outside
9. Swipe away the sweat from your face on a hot summer day
10. Sanitize after using a public bathroom with the kids, especially if there was no soap
11. Wipe sticky food/residue off of toys
12. Get dirt off your hands after you just loaded up your truck with mulch at the home improvement store
13. Dislodge crusty boogers from around your kids nostrils
14. Wipe off the dog or duck poop you stepped in while playing with the kids at the park
15. De-stickify the outside of your kids’ water bottles
16. Remove the residue that always seems to appear on your deck furniture
17. Dust your hard surface furniture
18. Remove dirt, grime, stains, and crayons from your walls
19. Help clean up a skinned knee
20. Quickly clean up the bathroom surfaces before guests arrive
21. Remove the grease and dirt from your hands after you worked on the car
22. Clean off your car’s dashboard
23. Remove make-up
24. Sanitize your computer keyboard
25. Clean the hand prints and smudges your kids leave on the car windows
26. Clean up after play-doh, glue sticks, and washable markers
27. Wipe down doorknobs and switch plates
28. Don’t forget to have one or two handy after you finish that bucket of KFC!
29. Wipe up spit-up from the leather couches
30. As a bullfighter’s cape when your rowdy toddler wants to be the bull
31. Hasty wipe down of the table after you’ve been seated at the restaurant but before your server appears
32. Compress to soothe fevered brows
33. Cleaning up twin bums after your twins have synchronized poops

What would you add to the list? What is your favorite use of wet wipes?

Just because you are having twins doesn’t mean you need two of everything.

What are some items that you can get away with only having one of instead of two?

If you already have a child or two, or whether twins are your induction to parenthood, try to think about possible scenarios where your twins can take turns using one piece of baby gear. Here are a few examples to get the creative juices flowing.

For example, you only need:

One baby bath but two towels

One changing table but diaper supplies for two

One crib (shared in the beginning) but two as your babies get bigger

One playpen or play set where you can sit one baby on each side

One bedroom that the twins can share

One of any given toy until the twins are old enough to both want the same toy at the same time

One wardrobe of clothes particularly if you have identical twins that can share everything they wear

Be judicious with your purchases. You’ll need double of a lot of things (like diapers and doctor visits) with twins but there is no need to spend more money than is necessary. Your twins will share a lot as they grow up together, you might as well start them early.

There have been some aspects of raising twins that are par for the course and pretty similar to our experience in raising our singletons. However, there have been some surprising things about twins, as well.

I have been surprised:

1. By how many diapers we’d go through. It seems that they get used up as fast as we can buy them.
2. That I’d ever be able to tell my identical twin girls apart at a glance
3. That my other kids were able to tell the twin girls apart before I could
4. That sleep deprivation was worse than with a singleton
5. By how many people gawk at our family when we are all out in public
6. That the girls do so many things the same and yet are so different
7. By just how much we’d need that twin double stroller to control the chaos in public
8. By how big and uncomfortable my wife would get during pregnancy
9. By how little time or energy I’ve had to do anything but clean up the house after the kids are all in bed
10. By the mountains of clean laundry that stack up on laundry day
11. By the sheer amount of toys two toddlers can unleash in less than five minutes if given a chance
12. That I haven’t been able to figure out a way to have both twins help me cook in the kitchen (i.e., make cookies) at the same time
13. By how much time it takes to get shoes on, jackets on, diaper bag packed, and everyone loaded into their car seats before we’re ready to go somewhere
14. At the amount of patience having two sick twins at the same time requires
15. By how happy I am to be greeted by two happy faces who run to me for hugs and kisses when I get home from work
16. By how truly satisfying being a parent is

If you’ve already had your twins, what is something that surprised you?

One of the big expenses with raising twins is diapers. From the day they are born until they master potty training and keeping their pants dry overnight, you’ll need to buy diapers.

Twin Diaper Usage

Newborns average about 10 diapers a day per baby. So your newborn twins will need about 10 diapers X 30 days X 2 babies = at least 600 diapers for the first month.

After about a month diaper consumption goes down to about 8 diapers per day. You’ll need 8 diapers X 30 days X 2 babies = at least 480 diapers per month for a few more months.

After three to six months, your babies should fall into a regular pattern with more predictable diaper usage. The blow outs and leaks of the newborn days are gone and you’ll see a pattern emerging. From 3 months to 1 year you should wean down to about 4-6 diapers per day per child.

So based on averages (your twins’ usage will vary) you are looking at using about 2,000 diapers by the time your twins turn 6 months.

After the year mark, diaper use is usually down to about 4 a day: one change when they wake up, one before naps, one before bed, and one for the random poop that happens every day at unpredictable times. So your toddler twins will need 4 diapers X 30 days X 2 toddlers = 240 diapers per month.

This means your twins could use close to 3,000 diapers in the year between ages one and two. (Makes you want to potty train early, doesn’t it?)

Diaper Transition

Once your twins potty train, you’ll be free from the traditional diapers. However, in some cases, you might need Pull-ups for nap times and overnight sleeping until they master the overnight dryness too.

Unfortunately, Pull-ups (and especially the overnight extra absorbent kind) tend to be more expensive than regular diapers. Fortunately, the volume of diapers during this transition period is cut in half.

Diaper Budget

You may want to establish a generous diaper budget for yourself as you stock up on diapers during pregnancy and maintain regular diaper use through the first two years or so.

What should you do with that money after you don’t need diapers?

You’ll see food consumption rise as your twins get older. That increased expense will likely offset any savings you see in no longer buying diapers.

Alternatively, you could start saving the money you did spend on diapers in your twin’s college savings funds. That way when it is time for college, you can remind them that they don’t have enough money because they refused to potty train until they were four.