His persistence makes me uncomfortable, but no matter how curt or distant I am, he never goes away. In a strange twist of fate, as I was writing his part of the book, I saw him standing in front of the gym I go to. He had told me he was a member there, but I had never seen him at the club in the past. With a thumping heart and held breath, I put my head in my gym bag and walked right by unnoticed – dodged that bullet. I hope to never see him again.

My evenings with Moldy Shower Curtain Jesus, Mr. Cheats on His Girlfriend Room #104, and Cologne-Reeking Stalker Neighbor Damon really gave me pause. What is going on out here in the dating world?

I said to one of my girlfriends over dinner, “I feel like I’m doing a science project.” It was as if a semi-truck had just run over me and I lived to tell the story. Dating rituals are compelling and incredibly riveting acts of human behavior. In just a matter of days, I’d gone from being in my own world of work and counseling, to debauchery with Room# 104, to revulsion with a Neighbor Damon. Jesus started it all just months before. I was onto something.

I have always been intensely interested in humanity and human behavior. I’ve read many, many books on the subject, and there doesn’t seem to be any really honest information for women, or men, about the dating world. There are few works that address making good decisions, share real-life stories – the kind you would never tell at the family Thanksgiving table, but can touch a place deep within you and resonate.

I live by the words, “as long as you are honest, organized and on time you will be fine,” and I am determined to operate from a place of compassion and honesty. I feel very strongly that by being honest we have the potential to open up new and important dialogue. So from that point on, I made my dating life a “science project” and as with any hypothesis, you sometimes get unexpected results.

End of chapter… More chapters to come.

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A few days ago I was driving down the street and I saw this graffiti in the picture above.

I wondered about the person wrote it and what exactly they were saying?

A. “People Grow.” In that: “We as people grow.”

or

B. “People Grow.” In that we as people: “Need to grow.”

???…

Later that night, I was out with friends and over cocktails I told them about seeing this earlier in day, as we all talked about life and how we handle life change and adversity.

One of my friends mom had just recently passed away, needless to say it has been extremely hard on her. I mentioned to her that in life we get to make the choice to “grow or to put our heads into the sand…”

Mentioning that we have choices… as to which box we are going to check:
Box A - “We grow as people.” Or Box B - “We are told to grow and or don’t grow.”

…Referring back to the graffiti that I had seen earlier in the day.

She picks Box A. So do I!

P.S. As I was taking this picture a man was yelling at me for where I had parked my car… Maybe he picks Box B?

Just because a man buys you drinks does that entitle him to more?
August and September

One evening a few weeks later, I met a friend for dinner in Hollywood, and it just so happened that Damon’s company was having an event at a nearby club. He called me up and invited me to come, but I declined. “Well, do you think you could give me a ride home?” He went on to explain that his company had picked him up in a limo and he didn’t have his car. I didn’t think it was a big deal – the club was 10 minutes from the restaurant, and we live just a few blocks from one another in Venice, so I agreed. It seemed harmless.

I picked him up from the party, and as we got to the intersection of La Brea and Venice, about halfway home, he realized he left his keys at the club.

“What do you want to do?” I asked. I was frustrated, tired and just wanted to be home.

“I’ll call and have one of the workers from my office drive the van over and bring my keys. I know exactly where they are.”

Exasperated, I pull into the gas station under a lamppost. I was tired and wanted to be home and I was in no mood to be with him. We were there for only a couple of minutes when a police car pulled in. Since I’d been drinking at dinner, I moved the car to another section of the gas station lot. I didn’t want our loitering to draw any undue attention.

He got freaked out and shouted, “Why did you do that?”

“Well I’ve been drinking, the police are sitting right there, and I think its weird that we’re just sitting here in the car at the gas station. I mean it’s LA and crazy stuff goes on here – it looks conspicuous.”

We had a huge argument, which was par for the course. Everything with him was an argument – from buying me drinks to going on a date with him. I’m not an argumentative person, and I found it very manipulative of him. I was spending time with this man I didn’t even like, just to avoid an argument.

He continues to e-mail me and call a few times a month. I do not return his calls and am very short in e-mails with him. I respond once for every five or six emails I receive. A typical exchange goes something like this:

From: notDamonsemail@whatever.com 7:40 PM
Hi…
Damon

From: notDamonsemail@whatever.com 8:44 PM
Hey,
How’s it going?

From: notDamonsemail@whatever.com 8:48 PM
Just working…and you?
Moved to Venice
Damon

From: notDamonsemail@whatever.com 8:57 PM
Wanna meet for a drink at Za Zen?
Damon (phone number)

From: me@me.com 8:59 PM
I will be out of town till May 1.

From: notDamonsemail@whatever.com 9:00 PM
Where u going?
-D

From: notDamonsemail@whatever.com 9:13 PM
Guess not, huh.
-D

To be continued…

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