Daily Dyson

Jimmy Fallon - Slow Jam The News

2009-03-03T14:35:00.001-05:00

Jimmy Fallon's first night as the replacement for Conan O'Brien. Not bad.

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Rickards

2009-01-23T10:06:00.003-05:00

We've Moved

2008-01-08T09:59:00.000-05:00

In case you are still checking this page, make sure to update your bookmarks to www.dailydyson.com

All the good stuff is there now.

And fries.

A New Era

2008-01-05T15:56:00.000-05:00

If you are still coming to this page then you're going to need to update your address for the Daily Dyson.

We have changed servers to a more secure, nuclear war proof location.

If you are reading this it means that you are still using the address www.DailyDyson.blogspot.com. Please change your bookmark to www.DailyDyson.com

For those of you using an RSS Feed Reader, please update to www.DailyDyson.com

See you at the new digs!

Bring beer.

A Million Apologies...

2008-01-03T10:32:00.000-05:00

It appears that one of our previous posts here had its picture Link-Jacked.

Please just hit refresh right now and carry on with your business.

Vote Chris Bosh

2008-01-03T09:46:00.001-05:00

Vote Chris Bosh on to the Eastern All Star team.

www.NBA.com

Do Not Take This Flyer Down!

2007-12-28T09:59:00.000-05:00

Don't touch it!

Pirate Keyboard

2007-12-27T17:54:00.001-05:00

What else does a pirate really need anyways?

Jamie Lynn Spears On The News...

2007-12-25T11:17:00.000-05:00

Recently impregnated Jamie Lynn Spears speaks out about the recently revealed news of her pregnancy at 16 years old.

Older sister Britney makes a surprise appearance in this news clip.

Nice Guitar Dude

2007-12-25T11:14:00.000-05:00

...And Then There Is Mrs Spears

2007-12-20T15:00:00.000-05:00

Now it looks like the mother of pregnant teen Jamie Lynn and White Trash Queen Britney Spears is going to write a book on parenting.

Going to guess it's a pretty short book.

A short book that reeks of sex and alcohol and devoid of any fact whatsoever.

Hit My Sister One More Time

2007-12-19T09:52:00.000-05:00

Special thanks to PH for this hard hitting expose. Some of you may remember our feature editorial board member AH. Well PH is a sibling. Rivalry will ensue.

But back to this most important story.

Jamie Lynn Spears, the younger sister of All-That-Is-Wrong-With-Society Britney Spears, is pregnant at the age of 16.

Does this really surprise anyone? If not for being caught up and spit out of the music industry popstar machine, Britney would probably have had her first child at 15.

The best part about this? Jamie Lynn met her baby's father at church.

So much for abstinence. When you have an older sister like Britney for a role model, this situation is probably the least of your worries.

Santa's Horny Reindeer

2007-12-18T14:52:00.000-05:00

The reindeer population in Jacksonville, Florida has grown exponentially due to a recent onslaught of Christmas decoration vandalism.

Turns out the instructions for decorative reindeer do not suggest you mount one reindeer to the rear of another. It's just Christmas revellers getting creative...

Tourism in Calgary

2007-12-17T11:01:00.001-05:00

So what do you usually think about when you hear about the city of Calgary?

Stampede?

Maybe oil?

How about the Flames?

Ever thought about 250 lb naked men being arrested by police in Calgary?

How Many 5 Year Olds Does It Take?

2007-12-14T15:17:00.000-05:00

Sometimes a website appears on the Interweb that makes you wonder how you survived without it up until this point.

Everyone has asked themselves the question, "Really, how many 5 year olds could take me down? How many little kids is it going to take to bring me to me knees?"

Click below to find out, through proven scientific methods, how many 5 year olds it would take to swarm you and shame you for the rest of your life.

20

They're Back

2007-12-11T10:32:00.000-05:00

It seems over the past decade or more many of the great rock and roll bands from the 60s and 70s were reuniting for tours. Call it a cash grab, nostalgia, or whatever you like.

One of the most anticipated rock and roll reunions has happened. But for one night only.

Led Zeppelin played last night. And they rocked.

The world is alright once again.

Check out the fan video below.

And speaking of rock singers with tight jeans that show off their junk to the world, this was the weather forecast for the night that Led Zeppelin reunited...

A Sign?

2007-12-07T16:33:00.000-05:00

Now what could mother nature be telling us to do this weekend?

Merry Drunken Christmas

2007-12-06T14:17:00.000-05:00

Gather round ye olde Grolsch christmas tree.

Free Beer For Life

2007-12-05T09:01:00.000-05:00

A pub in Britain has given free beer for life to a local veteran, in a nod to the service that he has performed for his country.

A veteran of World War 1.

The veteran is 109.

The beer is warm.

What a nice pub.

Chimpanzees Are Smarter Than Humans

2007-12-04T10:17:00.000-05:00

The Japanese have proven that Chimps are smarter than humans.

Do not ask any questions. Only accept that this is a fact.

Rap Lyrics Explained With Charts and Graphs

2007-11-30T11:53:00.001-05:00

Check out this site that measures that quantitative boasts in some popular rap lyrics. Make sure to refer to the site and the following illustrations the next time Biggie comes blasting out of your radio.

Click the pictures for larger, clearer versions.

From Naughty By Nature's "OPP"

Nate Dogg telling us how it is...

P Diddy, Biggie, and Mase telling us all about problems.

Jay Z telling us just exactly how many problems he cares about.

Dr Dre and Snoop and their "Unified Bitch Theory"

The chart that allows Eminem to write such interesting lyrics.

Unfortunate Cookbook Name

2007-11-29T09:56:00.001-05:00

Whatever Happened To Midnight Oil?

2007-11-29T09:47:00.001-05:00

Remember that band from the '90s called Midnight Oil?

The Australian band with a lead singer that had a shaved head?

Remember that just a little?

Well that same singer is now Australia's new Minister of the Environment.

Bono - there is still hope for you to become the first President of the World.

On Guitar Hero and Nuclear Weapons

2007-11-28T11:36:00.000-05:00

The editorial board would like to take the opportunity to welcome two notable individuals to the world of blogging, and mourn one community member on the loss of his meal ticket.

Artemiw and Ahmadinejad are two names that just seem to go hand in hand. There is much about these two that are similar, and yet so much that gives them their distinct identities from each other.

Take a look at each of their blogs. Topics covered range from "Death to America" to Guitar Hero.

While only one can claim to be the President of Iran, both are deeply interested in the Guitar Hero phenomenon that is sweeping the planet. It is said that the President of Iran, while having one hand on the development of that country's nuclear program, has the other hand on his Guitar. He is constantly noodling his fingers over the fretboard to hit that perfect note combination.

They say that the beard makes a man. If that is true, then both Artemiw and Ahmadinejad are two of the manliest manly men out there. Their respective beards are a true testament to all that is great about facial hair.

Neither of these two are willing to bow to trends, or even help fight cancer. Succumbing to the latest fads and carving out a an eloquently shaped mustache on their upper lip is not something that either of these two would even consider doing. Who knows what kind of chins these two are hiding?

There is suspicion as to the actual authors of each of these individual's writings. Ahmadinejad has an entire state apparatus behind him. Artemiw refuses to answer exactly who is ghostwriting his material.

Take a look at both of these sites and decide for yourself if the world really is better off because these two are now voicing their opinions with us.

*Editor's note - at press time the editorial board was not able to secure actual photos of Artemiw.

And our heartfelt condolences go out to Scribbles at TimTutsch.ca on the loss of the cow that gave cash. Hang in there.

Thanksgiving Gluttony

2007-11-23T12:13:00.000-05:00

Recognizing the American Thanksgiving holiday in honor of our massive U.S. audience, a story of Thanks that just warms your heart...

Major League Eating has donated $6000 to the New York City Food Bank. The money was raised from an exhibition put on where a man ate an entire 10-pound turkey, four pounds of mashed potatoes, three pounds of cranberry sauce and 2 1/2 pounds of beans.

And he did it all in the name of helping those in the city that are hungry.

Perhaps he could have shared his 20+ pounds of food with those regulars at the Food Bank.

Just a thought.