Smart Parenting

Effects on Children

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 13:24:00 +0000

There is a constructive side to instilling competitiveness: children tend to strive more and see for themselves what they are really capable of.

Financial gain is another advantage. If your child performs well, he can be awarded scholarship grants and get good offers when he or she reaches high school or college levels. Prestige and popularity come with territory, too, because ‘the ability of the child shines.’

Though instilling competitiveness in our children has its benefits, experts agree that potential negative ramifications outweigh the positive. The following are some of them:

Children become misguided.

When the pressure is too much, the child no longer sees knowledge and the acquisition of knowledge as goals. The grade has become the premium whether or not he or she learns anything that is of value to him or her. Also, the child becomes an unfriendly competitor.

Children can get easily frustrated.

Children under great pressure become very unhappy with one or two little mistakes. They may start blaming themselves for the slightest setback. They may start having sleepless nights. They will take every mistake of failure as the ‘end of it all.’ This kind of mindset – where personal worth is measured by grades, accolades, and other quantifiable achievements – can be detrimental to their selfperception.

Children become fearful.

With expectations set high, children may fear punishment from their parents every time they fall short. If children have difficulty in certain subjects or areas, they need support and guidance early on. However, since they are afraid of ‘disappointing’ their parents, they will not come out and say, “I am having a hard time understanding this.” Nothing is resolved; no course of action is taken.

This fear of failure also translates itself into children’s unwillingness to take risks, to explore, or to try something new, thus stunting their development.

Children develop over-dependence on parents.

Children under tremendous pressure from their parents are usually unable to think for themselves. How happy they are with their achievements depends on how happy mom and dad are. They feel that their parents approve every move they make.

Children become socially isolated.

Constant bragging of parents about their children to others may not always be graciously received. This may even create a wall between the child being bragged about and others (friends, the school, community, even relatives). A child may develop either an unhealthy superiority or inferiority complex. The feeling of being better than everybody else, because a child was constantly drilled that he or she is, can result in ostracism by peers. Similarly, feeling inferior to others may cause children to retreat into their shells.

Children measure self-worth with achievements.

When children hear their parents comparing them with others, it only translates to two messages: either “Mommy and Daddy love me because I am perfect,” or “They say I’m not as good as the other kids.”

Thus, the need to succeed arises, but only to satisfy the desire to be accepted and be loved. Before anyone notices, what begins as self-doubt escalates into serious anxiety, which can lead to more serious problems, such as power struggles, eating disorders, and depression, even at a very young age.

Children need to know that they will be loved whether or not they receive any accolades. Preschoolers, in particular, should be guided more on mastering age-appropriate skills that will serve as their foundation for later learning, not on reaping awards or medals. The universal rights of children include not only the right to have food, shelter, and education, but the right to play as well. Therefore, it is important that parents find ways for children to also relax and have fun.

Be confident of your children’s lead: Let them learn at their own pace, and be there to hold their hand when they need it. Keep in mind that accomplishments in infancy, toddler years, and preschool years do not necessarily predict a child’s success in adulthood.

Just as parents do best, love and accept your children for who they are. Allow them to be themselves and hit that road the way they see it. Each child is unique. Respect their ways of learning, growing, and thinking. Ultimately, children’s true measure of greatness depends on the guidance and values their parents give them.

Why Would Parents Demand Much From Their Children?

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 13:00:00 +0000

Here are several factors:

Family background

Continuing the family ‘legacy’ is important for most parents. For instance, if you come from a family of doctors, chances are, you will be expected to become one, too, regardless of your capacity or inclination. When one or both parents are achievers, they don’t see any reason for their talents not to manifest themselves in their children.

Economic stress

Some average income earners force kids to excel beyond their abilities so they can avail of scholarship grants and minimize the cost of schooling in their budget.

Children owe it to them

Many parents think that the formula to their children’s success is to provide them with everything. And since everything is given, there is no reason why they cannot excel.

“If her child can do it, why can’t mine?”

Hearing parents boast about their kids’ success causes other parents to fell envy and even self-doubt. Because they feel this way, parents then put more pressure on their kid.

Continuation: Effects on Children

Do You Expect Too Much From Your Kids? Know the Difference Between Motivation and Pressure

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 10:35:00 +0000

Parents naturally want their children to be the best, whether in academics or extra-curricular activities – or both! Young kids especially find happiness in pleasing their parents, and would do almost anything to garner their approval – from doing simple chores and creating pretty artwork, to accomplishing more ambitious feats like winning in sports or beauty pageants. But how far can we push our little ones without breaking their spirit or setting them up for disappointment?

Over competitive parents usually have many expectations from their children. They are more particular with good grades and performance than with how happy the child is going through schooling or joining an activity. For instance, some parents are still not satisfied when a child receives a B grade, expecting instead the perfect A. These parents see mistakes as unacceptable. Pointing fingers at who is to blame for the ‘failure’ of their child becomes their means to rectifying the situation, ignoring the possibility that there are other factors and variables at play. The worst scenario is when explanations are sought from the children, who may not always now why they performed below expectation.

When Does Spoiling A Child Start?

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 14:48:00 +0000

Spoiling a child takes time. It consists of a series of early life decisions and events which parents or guardians make for young children. The course of these early life decisions can eventually develop a child’s preferences: his or her way of reacting toward individuals around him or her, study habits, eating habits, and social skills. Even before the child is ready, today’s children have too many options.

Moreover, due to work demands of harried parents, the resulting guilt about time for and with the child can be a potent recipe for spoiling. Today’s parent can opt to give in to tantrums and giving too many material things to keep the peace and assuage guilt. Likewise, there may be inconsistencies in the manner of dealing with the child among the adults. The result is a spoiled child.

Take for example these two extreme cases. The first is 10-year-old Chase who was unwilling to go to school and do any schoolwork if he were not to receive any compensation, like toys or electronic games. This young boy would force his will on his parents by banging his head on the wall repeatedly until his demands are met.

Giving in to such demands is not the answer, as they most likely lead to only bigger, unrealistic, and self-centered demands. Another case is 4-year-old Paul who was unable to appreciate his possessions, as he would be given new toys on almost a daily basis. When Paul’s toy is broken, he would quickly ask, “Can we buy another one?’

Discipline is often associated with punishment. Actually, punishments and rewards are just aspects of it. Discipline, if applied consistently and with consideration of the child’s level of understanding, is the best way of instilling a sense of responsibility in children like Chase and Paul. This starts with the parent being clear about what the child can and cannot do. Slowly, if the parents are clear and consistent, the child internalizes a moral compass to help guide him or her in decision-making.

In the case of Chase, there was inconsistency in the way the parents dealt with him. It was his mother who would set boundaries, like limiting the toys being bought and the amount of time he is allowed to play with his gaming unit. Chase’s father, in an effort to spend quality time with his son, would inadvertently sabotage these rules by buying toys and allowing his son to play when they would spend time together.

Discipline is an ongoing process and cannot be done overnight. It requires constant compromise among parents and guardians attempting to instill it on their children. Other factors to take into consideration are family dynamics and personal values. These issues were very prominent in the case of Paul. Paul is the younger of two boys, both coming from different marriages. Paul’s mother has difficulty spending time with her children, as she spends most of her time away from home. She also has a tendency to give in to Paul’s demands in order for him to quiet down and refrain from throwing tantrums.

It is never too late to instill discipline. Sit down with your significant other today and list down the areas that need to be addressed in the life of your child, as the effort you make today will shape the man or woman your child will be in the future.

Praising Points

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 14:21:00 +0000

International studies have shown that praise definitely increases people’s inner interest in activities. Anything too much or too little is proven ineffective. Too much praise is ineffective because it comes too easy and often reduces the value of praise. Too little of it and lack of consistency do not give it much significance, as well. Here are some keywords to remember when giving praise:

Immediate. Praise kids right after the good behavior occurs. This way, they know instantly which behavior is reinforced.
Specific. Say exactly which behavior, action, or words you liked. For example, “Thank you for putting your toys back in the bin,” or “I like the way you shared your toys with your friends.” If the action was partly wrong, focus only on the positive side.
Frequent. Be consistent in saying words of praise every time kids do something good. Do not let any good or improved deed pass unnoticed. This reminds kids, positively, that a particular behavior should be part of their way of life.
Sincere. Put emphasis on the feelings and values instead of judging kids as “good” or “bad”. For example, if you see your child politely asking for his or her turn in playing a video game, say, “I like the way you asked your brother if you could play after him. I think that was a polite thing to do.”
Varied. Use different praise statements. Repeating the same thing may lose its impact and value. Changing it is also one way to increase kids’ emotional vocabulary, which will help them express themselves as they grow.

Get into Character

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 16:54:00 +0000

Here are key points to help parents effectively wield positive reinforcement:

Select and define the deed. Be clear on what is acceptable or nonacceptable behavior at home. Provide observable, measurable progress by specifying which behavior you want the child to repeat. Refrain from giving abstract directives. Instead of “Behave while eating” say “Sit on your chair, do not play with your utensils, and tidy up your eating area after eating the food.”

Choose your reinforcers. Reinforcers must be appropriate for - and as valuable as - the behavior. They should match the child’s age, abilities, and the effort required to earn them. Kids have individual preferences. A reinforcer that is not significant to your child will bear no value. For example, preschool children will like getting stickers and hugs, while teenagers may prefer getting an extended curfew.
Timing is everything. Consistency is the key. Make it routine for your children. It helps them internalize rules and expectations. Also, immediately reinforce good behavior. The shorter the delay between the behavior and reinforcer, the greater the chance of strengthening the behavior. When reinforcing a new skill, reinforce continuously. Once the behavior has been established in the child, then you can gradually delay and decrease reinforcements.
Be diverse. Varying reinforcers prevents satiation in a child. Use your imagination to come up with different reinforcers. Opt for assorted nonmaterial reinforcers. You will be surprised that not all kids want material things as reinforcers. Hugs, pats on the back, and words have equal, if not more, significance to them.
Complement praise with encouragement. Pairing reinforcers with words of praise and encouragement works best to retain or repeat a good behavior. Praise usually denotes the person, and some judgment is made on him or her. Encouragement is taking notice of the behavior or action, instead of the person.
An example of praise is “You’re a good girl” while “I like the way you helped the lady carry her bag,” are words of encouragement. By using words of praise and encouragement, it puts recognition and meaning to one’s presence and work.

How To Save Money Buying An Engagement Ring

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 10:52:00 +0000

So you've made the big decision and are in the market for an engagement ring. This is a life changing event and probably one of the most important luxury purchases you'll make in your lifetime. It can also be very expensive. In this article you'll learn some ways you can save money buying an engagement ring and still get a diamond she'll love.
Although there are many others, we're going to discuss three simple but effective things you can do to reduce the cost. Don't be afraid to use these tips and any other methods you may have to save some money. You want a quality ring, but there's no shame in getting more than your money's worth.

1. Negotiate With The Jeweler
Everything is negotiable. Everything. Don't take the price the jeweler names as the price you have to buy it for. Give them a counter offer that is significantly less than the price they named. Or try another tactic and ask for additional products or services to be rolled into that price. See how far they're willing to go to sell you a ring. This strategy will be much more successful at a stand alone jewelry shop as opposed to a chain store because there are less levels of approval to cut through.
2. Shop Around
You don't have to buy the first ring you look at, nor do you have to stick to one jeweler. Check out other stores and other styles and find the best deal you can. If a store knows they're in direct competition you might be able to get them into a bidding war with one another. This kind of competition could save you a significant amount of money. Either way, shopping around will give you a chance to consider all your options, allowing you to find a price you're happy with.
3. Research the Ring
Don't go to a jewelry store until you've done research on the process of buying a ring first. There are many things you need to know about buying a ring, and you can cut some of the costs if you are knowledgeable in how the process works and what to look for. Going to a jewelry store without researching first is just asking to be taken advantage of either intentionally or by overpaying. The more you know about how this works and what rings of certain qualities are worth, the more likely you'll be able to confidently negotiate a price you're happy with.
There are a bunch of other ways you can trim the costs of an engagement ring, which is good because they tend to be very, very expensive. The best thing you can do if you're in the market for a diamond is gather as much information as possible then use it to find offers or opportunities that will give you a quality ring at a good price. Whatever you do, don't rush to a decision. Take your time finding the right ring, because this is an occasion you don't want to mess up.

Double Glazing Advice To Save Energy

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 09:34:00 +0000

There is only one sure way to make your home energy efficient especially during the winter and that is insulating it. Home insulation is just like putting heating blanket inside your house and with the use of effective insulating materials you can really save up to 20 to 30 percent of your electricity bill from your heating and aside from that your families are well protected and free from cold and diseases. There are two common types of insulation materials used for homes which are usually effective and these are the fiberglass batts and the mineral wool. Fiberglass insulation batts are snugly installed between wall studs or on ceiling joists or on the floor. Mineral wool or also known as rock wool is much like fiberglass batts but it is firmer and more resistant to water and fire. These two materials are very good insulation materials on walls and floors but how about the insulation for your doors and windows? For sure there is heat coming out of them especially if these fixtures have only single panes. This is where double glazing advice comes to support.

Saving on Energy with Those Windows
The best way so far in insulating our windows and doors is to use double glazing panes on them. It has been proven that because double glazed materials can keep the heat from escaping through these fixtures it can save us more energy for our heating requirement Double glazing serve as second layer of protection for our glass windows and doors thus greatly minimizing the lost of heat and put our heaters operating at optimum level. So far the best advice for homeowners is to invest on this type of insulation and let double glazing advice guide them for more efficient energy consumption. The method of double glazing is simple. It works by trapping air between two panes of glasses and these air will serve as the insulating barrier which will prevent the lost of heat and prevent condensation from entering our house either. Properly secured glazing can also serve as noise barriers.
Double glazing is now becoming popular on countries where climate become severely cold during winter. They are now common fixtures on schools, offices, churches, hospitals and even homes for the aged and young children because incidentally they can maintain heat to the room and keep the establishments from paying too much on their energy consumption. You should always look for double glazing advice from the internet or from home improvement magazines because from time to time new innovations are published. In the UK and some parts of the US, double glazing becomes a requirement because these countries are now proceeding on laws that encourage saving up on energy. It becomes part of the Home Information Packs that windows and doors must be properly secured so that energy use during winter is kept at efficient level and the best way to do this is by employing double glazing on these fixtures. Double glazed windows and doors serve as assets of the house and they can last for years so they are considered long term investment for homes. Your house’ value becomes projected once you put double glazing into it and home buyers will be glad you have been practical about these.

Menstrual Irregularities And Symptoms Of Irregular Menstruation

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 09:00:00 +0000

However, if a teenager is still missing her period by the age of 16, she should have a full gynecological assessment by a doctor for hypothalamic failure, hormonal disorders and abnormal genetic make-up. Menstrual disorder defines as a disorder is an irregular menstrual cycle. Some women get monthly period easily.
Menstrual disorder happens when periods come like starting or stopping same time every month. Menstrual disorder can affect the women's health. Sometimes females feel fatigue and anemia.
Chaste Berry is a widely accepted herbal remedy that stimulates the release of LH and FSH or the hormones vital to ovulation and menstruation. Another herb that enhances hormone functioning is Black Choosy, a natural remedy prescribed by herbalists to prevent miscarriage. Regulating the menstrual cycle on the other hand is among the many medicinal properties of the Siberian Ginseng, a revered Chinese tonic that promotes energy and enhances overall systemic functioning.

Symptoms of irregular menstruation:

Treatment for Irregular Menstruation:
Grind 3-4 fresh hibiscus flowers. They are either red or pink, and their scientific name is hibiscus rosa-sinensis. Take five red flowers, grind them to a paste, and have this on an empty stomach with water for 5-7 days before the normal expected due date of your periods.
Lifestyle Changes: Some people might just need to change their lifestyles in order to cure their irregular periods.
Aloe-leaf pulp: Skin 2-3 aloe leaves and collect the pulp. Boil it till it becomes brown. Cool. Mash it to make a paste. This has a slight bitter taste, so have it with water or apple juice every morning on an empty stomach for 5-7 days. The dose is a teaspoonful. This also has a purgative action, so decrease the dose if required.
Reduce stress: avoid anything that will cause you to get stressed out. Find time to relax and take it easy, doing this might get your period back without fuss.
Have a teaspoon of fresh holy basil leaf juice with a teaspoon of honey and a pinch of black pepper powder twice a day for 4-6 weeks. This regularizes the periods.
Make a decoction with a teaspoon of old jiggery and a teaspoon of pounded ovum seeds. Have with hot water twice a day for 3-4 days before the due date of the periods.
Calcium helps to prevent menstrual cramps as it maintains the normal muscle tone. During menses muscles that lack calcium tend to become hyperactive causing cramps. Therefore increasing calcium helps in reducing menstrual cramps. Try to consume 800 milligrams a day which nearly equals three cups of milk.

Play Your Part

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 14:27:00 +0000

There is no specific age at which to start using positive reinforcement; children learn to relate reinforcers to their behavior after several similar experiences and patterns. Good deeds that were reinforced at an early age become part of the child’s personality.

As children grow, their needs will differ in the same way that our expectations of them will expand. So, the reinforcers may change, but the general principle remains. The success of positive reinforcement greatly depends not on the child, but on the adult using it as a disciplinary approach.

When used successfully, positive reinforcement can develop a child’s intrinsic motivation. It can provide children some understanding of expectations and behavior.

Positive Reinforcement vs Bribery

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 14:11:00 +0000

Some parents mistakenly associate positive reinforcement with bribing or giving material rewards. In bribery, you promise something bigger and more valuable than the behavior you are expecting. You also tend to negotiate or beg, even increasing the value of the prize, just to make sure that the behavior you wish is manifested. Giving a child verbal encouragement or small tokens after they exhibit a certain desirable behavior does not qualify for bribery.

Other parents steer clear from positive reinforcers for fear that they might spoil their child. However, it is far from spoiling if the reward given is commensurate to the positive behavior exhibited by the child. Material rewards need not be expensive things; small tokens like stickers or erasers are hardly decadent. Non-material reinforcers are highly recommended: a hug, a wink, and a compliment for a job well done.

Effective Praise: Instill Good Behavior Through Positive Reinforcement, Not Through Bribery or Punishment

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 13:58:00 +0000

How do you discipline your child? Most of the parents would admit to having spanked their children at least once. In behavioral studies, 3 approaches to eliciting a desired behavior can also be found in parents’ discipline styles: positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, and punishment.

Positive reinforcement entails providing an event (like a reward or praise) that increases the probability of the desired behavior being repeated. With negative reinforcement, a desired behavior is drawn out through the elimination of an adverse event (e.g. child learns to wake up earlier for school every day because getting caught in traffic makes him nauseous). Punishment, often confused with negative reinforcement, involves increasing an adverse event to decrease or stop negative behavior.

Child experts agree that, of the 3, positive reinforcement is the best way to draw out positive behavior in children and even keep negative behavior in check.

Encouragement is the Seed of Success

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 15:27:00 +0000

What kind of parent are you – an encourager or an intimidator? The encourager stresses working towards a certain goal. The intimidator stresses winning. For this kind of parent, “It’s the results that count… not the effort, not the intentions.”

And what results! Useless deaths. You have heard about graduating college students resorting to suicide for not graduating with honors in a family of medalists or in another case, for failing to graduate at all. Those who choose to live become obsessive about reaching the top, even at the expense of others. Some are immobilized – afraid to try unless success is guaranteed.

Naturally, the one encouraged first is happy about the praises heaped on him or her. But when you give him or her the opposite, the reactions would be: disbelief, anger…and later, self-doubt. Somehow, all those discouraging comments get to you.

That exercise made us step back and examine the atmosphere you create at home. Is it encouraging or downgrading? Are you an encourager or an intimidator? Note that your targets are parent-volunteers, so they were aware that this was some sort of exercise, yet it affected their self-esteem. Imagine how a string of negative messages or put-downs can affect an insecure child?

Encouragement is not the same as pampering though. Pampering means regularly doing something the teenagers can do for themselves such as fixing their room, preparing lunch, or even waking up. Overindulgence makes a child irresponsible. Overprotection makes kids dependent on others.

Praising is not encouragement. Praise is a reward given for an achievement. It fosters competition and fear of failure. Encouragement is given for effort and improvement. It fosters cooperation and self-esteem. It inspires confidence and acceptance.

Of course, you should give praise when it is due. But encouragement does not thrive on praises alone. A child can tell empty praises from real ones. Besides, there is danger that a child hungry for praise will merely conform to please and won’t feel okay unless praised. Encouragement means emphasis on strengths and assets, other than faults. It is non-judgmental - accepting the level of accomplishment of each child.

Unrealistic expectations could be stressful to a child. If circumstances or physical inability prevents him or her from fulfilling certain expectations, then you can’t say, “You can do it.” The kid would be bound for certain disappointment. It’s just like saying “It won’t hurt” when an injection really hurts. You can’t fool children.

Sometimes, you have to help your children set realistic goals. When one of the kids wants to enter a contest, you’re all out rooting for him or her – whether it’s an art contest, a science contest, or whatever. Some kids start counting their prizes even before they submit their entries. In those cases, you explain the odds and make the project so much fun that it is the effort that counts.

Other discouraging family practices you learned at seminars are: permissiveness (which makes a child unconcerned about others’ rights), inconsistent discipline (results in feeling that life is unfair) and denial of feelings. A person who is not in touch with his or her own feelings can never relate to others.

“Poor you,” mothers often say to a child after bumping his or her head. Sometimes, parents even go to such lengths as spanking the object that caused pain to appease the crying child. It’s not funny. It’s stupid. Pity breeds a discouraging family atmosphere. It does not help build confidence in the child.

When your kids come to you for help, be glad. Don’t shoo them away by lecturing:

“Is this the best you can do?”
“I don’t want to see line of 7s or Cs.”
“With these grades, you don’t deserve to go to school! Why should I spend thousands if you don’t care to study? Do you still want to go to college or not?”
“What’s your ambition in life? To be a janitor?”
“Don’t ask stupid questions. Use your common sense.”
“You should know better.”

Most of these are recordings in your minds, handed down to you by your parents and their parents. It’s about time you got out of that mode and reprogram yourself by consciously creating an encouraging environment at home.

It is not the one-sided “Honor thy father and mother.” Each family should work out their own “Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Security”, with children given the opportunities to give opinions, participate in decisions, and take on responsibilities according to their capabilities.

“Don’t expect to change your teenager.” The beginning of change is to accept one’s mistakes. Saying sorry to your children can do wonders in bridging the generation gap. It is only human to let the children know, “Hey, kids! Parents need some encouragement too!”

Like It or Not, Kids Grow with Violence

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Sun, 30 May 2010 09:40:00 +0000

Like most of the parents, you are probably against guns. Real guns. At the mere sight of them, your knees turn to jelly. A gunless society is ideal but only law-abiding citizens can make it one. If guns are in the hands of goons, who will protect the gunless citizens? Nowadays, it’s hard to tell who are the law enforcers and the law-breakers.

You must be able to enforce “toys for peace” in your home. You should be conscious about this, as your boys and girls graduate from plastic toys that go “bang bang” to water guns. What are popular now are air soft guns using plastic pellets. They are quite expensive.

This is probably one step ahead of video or role-playing games, where one uses the computer or imagination. In war games, they can act it out. You probably don’t notice it but when your kids start playing war games, their relationship skills improve. They become a team with a hobby to share. It’s good, clean fun. Nobody gets hurt. They wear protective goggles or face masks, long sleeves and long pants. (It seems there are some adults who join, not to play, but to hurt.)

The children’s justifications should never change your stand about toy guns. They know they can never ask you to buy such guns for them. (So they’d probably try asking their other parent.) Besides, you reaction is always economic: “How much? That’s a month’s groceries! No way!”

But when violence is deliberate, such as in hazing, then that’s a different story. This is no longer a game. The pain is real. It is not like those “blood pellets” you can wipe away when the game is over. You can actually have blood on your hands.

Hazing does not teach brotherhood. It teaches revenge. So this batch was made to take a gulp of milk, spit it out, and pass the same glass down the line. From a half-filled glass, by the time it gets to the last guy, it’s nearly full. Next year, this same batch will do the same, or worse, to their neophytes. And so the violence escalates.

Is this a rite of passage every boy must undergo to be a man, or a girl to be a woman? A father, especially one who got by without joining any fraternity, is proof enough that fraternities are not necessary. If by brotherhood, it means cheating by test paper leaks and connections, then you shouldn’t want that for your children.

They say the culture of violence is bred by violence in comics, movies and television. That enough exposure to violence can dull one’s sense and one can become insensitive to gore and blood. Power can be such a heady experience. Guns or even a car can give one a feeling of power. You’ve seen houseboys transformed into veritable kings of the road, once they get behind the steering wheel. Can you imagine those out of school youth recruited to be security guards and issued guns?

What can we do about this culture of violence? Parents ask the schools to be stricter with those involved in frat violence. For students, the best thing is to boycott fraternities. Those who join are mostly insecure students from the province who really need some form of brotherhood, as they are new in the city or university. They do not know that one can pass the course and find jobs based on one’s merits.

Fratmen are popular with girls. Well, girls, frat membership does not make a man – especially when the measure is whether one can stand a beating and be able to beat up others in turn. Fraternities will eventually die if there will be no new recruits.

Aside from limiting your children’s exposure to violence in mass media, you have to teach them how to handle power. With power come greater responsibilities. Being a true leader means humility and service, not giving orders to slaves. Moreover, fellowship can be achieved without undergoing or inflicting pain.

You can’t completely protect your children from violence since it exists in their environment. The most you could do is to arm your children with values so that, in time, when they encounter violence, they will know what to do and hopefully make the right decision.

Don't be Surprised if Today's Kids See Life as One Big Commercial Break

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Sat, 29 May 2010 09:27:00 +0000

Television today is still a “baby sitter” both for adults and preschoolers. When people are bored or simply want to rest, they watch TV. Some are not really interested to watch at all. They need the TV to put them to sleep. As soon as you turn it off, they wake up.

With the remote control, watching TV can be a dizzying experience. I get confused with what characters go with what plot. What with that mysterious hand switching channels during commercial breaks, you find yourself following several shows at the same time. Sometimes you have to shout, “stop!” and confiscate the remote control. “Please decide which program you want and stick to it”.

That was supposed to be final but what’s this switching channel again? “Mom, there are commercial breaks!” would be the excuse. Today’s TV imports still have family-oriented shows and the rest are soap operas, game shows and their local counterparts which include slapsticks or tearjerkers, noontime variety shows, movie personalities’ song and dance, and movie Dom’s gossip sessions.

These are the kinds of shows very young children are exposed to. Most of these are shown at times when kids are awake and those of school age are already home. Programming leaves much to be desired.

One of the positive developments in local TV is the emergence of talk shows discussing current issues as well as TV-magazine formats. For mothers, “Sesame Street” is heaven-sent. You can put the little tykes in front of the TV (at least 4 “rulers” away – instructions to the little ones) and have a little break from mothering.

But violence even in cartoons is the order of the day. You see Bugs Bunny hammered on the head or blown to pieces by Sam his Enemy No. 1 or Road Runner running over the coyote. Tom and Jerry and now their sons slug it out; and of course, the Japanese robots and the superheroes in the endless fight between good and evil.

You don’t have to think about the violent “drama” teleplays or movies and their trailers, especially the one where the lead actress pokes a gun on the actor’s head who says, “Go ahead, and shoot it”. You’d probably close your eyes and shudder to think of the countless kids exposed to this kind of violence. And you parents are helpless. Ads just pop out of the boob tube every 15 minutes and you can’t tell which one will go on. Not unless the stations publish a list of advertisers or sponsors. Boy! That’s going to be a long list!

The crucial thing about TV is, it is a powerful medium. Repetitious subliminal messages are being exploited by advertisements that target kids. They are mesmerized by commercials. Cigarette and liquor ads suggest, “It is good to smoke and drink” without warning about its dangers. They often show images of sophisticated living.

Teachers reveal their frustration with college students who have limited concentration that usually lasts only for 15 minutes due to commercial gap syndrome. They suffer from what noted psychologists term “attention deficit disorder”.

Moreover, these teachers lament. Kids raised by TV hardly read, preconditioned as they are by TV-spoon feeding. (How many students actually read a book for their term paper? If they do, they choose a very short book but most just rent a DVD version.) There is nothing wrong with this audiovisual education like “The Planet Earth” but reading is entirely different from watching. Reading develops the imagination unlike TV, where the camera can focus on the smallest detail.

The fast pacing of images gives the illusion that “life is never continuous...it is fragmentalized; it is made up of commercial breaks. And if one doesn’t like what is seen and heard, one can change channels”. In reality, one can “change channels” in one’s mind and switch to fantasy.

Television’s powerful medium can be utilized in a positive way. Already public service ads by both the station and advertiser are being shown. It aims to educate the public on traffic and safety rules. Effective communication must be two-way. TV programs now feature citizens’ woes and call the attention of the concerned government agency or ask citizens’ cooperation in government programs. Not surprisingly, this produces faster results.

It is hoped that the government will subsidize alternative TV productions that will really give wholesome entertainment, education and develop local talent rather than the superstar “mentality” and its subsequent commercial rating that dominates the industry today.

In the high-tech world of communications via satellites, fax and computers, our children are bombarded with instant, varied and conflicting messages. It is easy to be carried away with images of fun and make-believe like the MTVs that seem to be getting more and more hallucinatory and lead an aimless life. Or children of the TV generation might be indecisive due to the myriad choices they are confronted with.

This is real life. There is no instant replay or fast-forward. “Changing channels” needs a lot of thinking and weighing of consequences, advantages and disadvantages.

There is great pressure not to be traditional. Don’t apologize. You can still be progressive and choose traditional values. Indeed, your children need to have an anchor and a focus – good old-fashioned principles and priorities.

Infertility: Know how using donor eggs, sperm or embryo works and what conditions need to exist.

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 10:18:00 +0000

Donor Eggs, Donor Sperm, or Donor Embryo
There are presently no centers or clinics that allow this option in the Philippines.

How it works
Basically donor-assisted IVF or AI.

Condition
If a woman is no longer of ideal birthing age or has poor ovary function, or if her partner’s sperm aren’t healthy, seeking donor-assisted reproduction may be the only option. Most commonly, women who are over age 40 and can no longer produce healthy eggs, or those who are at risk of problematic pregnancies use donor eggs, donor sperms, or donor embryos—the combined sperm and eggs of known or anonymous donors—to conceive. Usually, this is the last resort for some couples to treat their infertility.

Fertility clinics in the U.S. allow couples to choose donors. Most donors are between 21 and 29 years old and have undergone psychological, medical, and genetic screening.

Note: Success rates are national averages and don’t take into account the number of attempts made with each method.

Cervical Cancer Vaccination

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:17:00 +0000

Vaccination Schedule: 0, 1, 6 , months

Contraindication:

History of allergy to previous vaccination or any component of the vaccine
Pregnant and breastfeeding

Precaution:

Moderate-Severe illness

Can I be vaccinated if I am pregnant or breastfeeding?

Use in pregnancy is not recommended
It is not known whether vaccine antigens or antibodies found in the vaccine are excreted in human milk

Out of the millions of women who got vaccinated, 870 of them founded out that they were pregnant after receiving a shot or two, and no ADVERSE EVENT happened to the mother and the baby. However, it is strongly recommended that if you’re pregnant, vaccination should be postponed for the meantime.

You CAN still be vaccinated with the Cervical Cancer vaccine under the following conditions:

Mild illness (low grade fever, upper respiratory track infection, mild diarrhea, otitis media)
Antibiotic therapy
Disease exposure or under recovery from illness
Pregnancy in the household
Premature birth
Allergies to products not in vaccine
Need for multiple vaccines

What are the adverse effects that I might experience after getting the shot?

The vaccine causes no serious side effects.
The most common side effect is pain at the injection site, in others it might be redness or swelling.
These adverse effects are temporary and may last only for 2 to 3 days.

Do I need to re-start vaccination series if I miss my 2nd or 3rd dose?

There is no need to re-start the vaccine series.
If you miss the 2nd dose, you may get the shot as soon as you remember and get your 3rd dose after 12 weeks.
If you miss the 3rd dose, you may get the shot as soon as possible.

Can I be vaccinated if I have a cold or fever?

Mild common illnesses (such as cold, diarrhea, upper respiratory infections) are not contraindications to vaccination.

Who should get cervical cancer vaccine?

Young girls and older women 10 years old onwards

Because all women are at risk.

In Summary

In the Philippines, cervical cancer is the second most common cancer in women next to breast cancer.
Human Papilloma Virus is the necessary cause of cervical cancer.
Every woman is at risk of cervical cancer.
The virus is transmitted through genital skin to skin contact. Condoms do not offer full protection.
Vaccination alongside screening provides the best protection against cervical cancer.
Cervical cancer affects lives - not just of women afflicted by the disease but also her family’s as well.

Every Woman Deserves a Chance Against Cervical Cancer

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 12:14:00 +0000

5 Things you need to know about cervical cancer vaccination:

You do not need to be screened before vaccination.
- While it is ideal to get screened it is not necessary since regardless of your current status, you can be vaccinated.
Fighting HPV infection does not protect you from re-infection
- Unlike other infections that you only get once like chickenpox, HPV infection can be recurrent and acquired at any age.
- If you’ve already fought off an HPV infection, it is possible to be infected again.
You can still get vaccinated even if you already have HPV
- Even if you have HPV (for example HPV 18), vaccination can still protect you from cancer causing HPV 16 and provide and a degree of protection against 12 other cancer causing types of HPV. However, the vaccine is not curative so it won’t affect a present cervical condition (existing HPV infections, lesions, or cervical cancer).
Women 26 years old and up can still benefit from vaccination
- Because HPV infection is common and can occur at any age, sexually active women may remain at risk throughout their lives. Also the older women, gets the higher risk of persistent HPV infection (one that does not go away).
Vaccination and regular Pap smears are you best chance of preventing cervical cancer.
- Vaccination protects you from HPV 16, 18, 35 and 41, the cause of 80% of cervical cancer cases worldwide, while regular Pap smears will allow early detection of precancerous changes in the cervix.

What is Dengue Fever?

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 19:45:00 +0000

What is Dengue Fever?
Dengue fever is brought on by mosquito's bites. They have an infection in their system and when an Aedes aegypti mosquito bites a person. Dengue is not an airborne transmission type of virus that can cause from human to human.

Symptoms:

It causes major headaches
Muscle stiffnes.
Rash
Flu
Fever

Note: These symptoms will start from three to ten days after being bitten by the mosquito.

Treatment:
Some says that Dengue has no specific treatment, and most people affected by this virus will recover within 2 weeks. Just get a plenty of bed rest and drink lots of water.

How to Prevent Dengue Fever:

Wear Long clothing, such as pants and long-sleeved shirts, reduce the amount of exposed skin and lower the chances of a mosquito bite and subsequent transmission of the disease.
Consider sleeping inside a mosquito net especially when in less developed countries and regions.
Control the mosquito population with the use of insecticides through regular spraying around the area you spend the most time outdoors.
Try to avoid stagnant water build-up which is the breeding ground of mosquitoes.

Make bath time safe and enjoyable for you and your baby. Here's how!

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 14:33:00 +0000

On a hot summer day, a dip in the tub or a cold refreshing shower is a delight for anyone. For your baby, however, bath time could be “stress” time. “Even the sound of water splashing is foreign to babies,”. “Newborns especially, get startled easily. It’s what we call the Moro Reflex. Parents, therefore, should aim to make bath time as soothing to the child as possible,” she adds. Below are some bath time basics to help you.

Be Prepared For Baby Bath Time

It’s always best to be prepared. The ideal setting for the baby bathtub is atop a counter, where mom (or dad) is in a standing position and does not have to stoop so low. This way, too, mom and baby can see and relate to each other face to face.

“The perfect water temperature is 38 degrees Celsius,”. “You can measure it by dipping the end of a thermometer into the water.” If you don’t have a thermometer, Most doctors suggests dipping your elbow into the water, “and if it’s too warm for you, then most probably it’s too hot for your baby, as well.” Beside the tub and within an arm’s effortless reach should be the soap, shampoo, soft washcloths, and two dry towels. Make sure to mix the hot and tap water very well.

Soothing Baby And Setting The Mood

A lot of things may seem strange to your baby and may cause great discomfort and anxiety. “This is why it’s very important for the parents, especially the mom, to be the primary bath-giver of the child in the early months of his life,”. “The mother’s smell, scent, and voice can do wonders in soothing baby and making baby feel safe and calm.”

When the bath essentials are ready, close all windows and doors to avoid a cold draft coming in. If your baby is used to soothing music during the day or at night, pop in his favorite CD. “Sing or talk to your baby every step of the way”. For older babies, a hug can do the trick. Take a bath together (you with your swimsuit or tank and shorts on). If he sees that it doesn’t hurt you, he’ll get the cue that it probably won’t hurt him, too.

Smart Parenting

noreply@blogger.com (Monster Hunter) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 09:01:00 +0000

“Mommy, how come these little ones get away with things many didn’t when they were that age?” is the usual complaint of the eldest children. They were referring – not to their first brother, who was just a few years younger -- but to the next “batch” of siblings – a boy or a girl who came about ten years later.

As parents, you do try not to play favorites and be consistent as possible. However, that eldest child, indeed, had reason to complain. “Well son, it’s because your parents have learned a few things as you were growing up. You must understand. Your parents never had any kids before you so they made a few mistakes with you” is probably the usual explanation.

“So I am the guinea pig! Why was I born first?” will probably be exclaimed, with a smile.

If you read Dr. Spock from cover to cover, you will probably be unconvinced about sparing the rod. Didn’t that generation produce the juvenile delinquents? You didn’t follow the “wait ‘til your father gets home” practice either. Very young children tend to forget what they are being punished for when you postpone it. Besides, it is assured that you do not want them to have an image of a father as “the executioner” just as you dislike the sermons of the old about mortal sin and hell-fire.

That doesn’t mean you should spank them for every little thing. If talking to them or sending them to their room doesn’t work, then the slippers will convince them that you mean business. For graver offenses, it’s the belt, no TV, no telephone, no parties (“grounded”), or no allowance – whichever is effective at that point in time, upon consultation with your spouse, their other parent, of course.

You should avoid spanking as much as possible. You can even try classical music to calm the warring preschoolers. Result: they will fall asleep. They will probably say, “No wonder I hate classical music!” when they learn about your trick when they were small.

The main thing a child should understand is to know what he or she did wrong. No amount of punishment can correct behavior if the child is not aware of his or her mistake. And the best thing to achieve this is to take the child aside and talk to him or her calmly. If the child is ranting and raving like the Incredible Hulk, it is useless to talk to him or her. That’s when you send your child to his or her room.

“Come out when you’re not ‘Hulk’ anymore and we will talk”. More often than not, they fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion.

This is one of the mistakes you can have with your eldest child. When he or she has tantrums, you will probably shout back at him or her. “If you don’t stop, you will stand in the corner!” If you don’t want to spank him or her, one of you could bodily carry the child to the corner where he or she would wail and wail until somebody else would rescue him or her. “Come darling, come here.” There goes your discipline.

It was really more a punishment for you than for your child. You could summon your child as quickly as possible but long enough for him or her to know who is boss. When the kids get bigger, you can’t spank or make them stand in the corner anymore. Also, they are getting to be too tall for you. They could be menacing. They are onto one another like a cat and a dog. And you would be the referee pushing two ferocious gladiators away.

But that is merely a phase. With patience, understanding, and firm guidance, the kids will outgrow it. The only problem with too many kids is that when one starts outgrowing a phase, another gets into it. But you’ve already had a few years’ rest, so with this second batch, you know more or less what to expect.

According to knowledge gathered from those who have been parents for twenty years, the various phases that you have observed in your children so far are: first, tantrums at age two. These are really manifestations of frustrations at the many things they found they could not do – until they discover tantrums do not work; slow eating from two to three, an effect of weaning from the bottle and a certain wariness at discovering different tastes; quarrelsome from seven to twelve, as a way of asserting their individuality; sensitiveness/secretiveness from twelve to fifteen as they begin to discover their sense of privacy. Also there is a general distraction and carelessness in their studies when they begin to discover the opposite sex. It’s smooth sailing from sixteen onwards.