Daily Stupid News

Wisconsin Woman Named Nation’s Top Bagger

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 14:30:00 PST

Wisconsin Woman Named Nation’s Top Bagger
A Wisconsin grocery bagger took home the $10,000 grand prize at the National Grocers Association’s 26th Best Bagger Championship in Las Vegas. Stephanie Teteak, 30, who has worked at grocery stores for more than 13 years, was named the top bagger among the 24 competitors Monday. She is currently employed at Larry’s Piggly Wiggly in Kaukauna, Wisconsin. Teteak and her competitors were judged in categories including speed, accuracy and weight distribution. Teteak said she will likely spend her winnings on paying off her bills.

Essay Gets Student Suspended - Do you think Free Speech has a place in school?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:30:01 PST

Essay Gets Student Suspended
A 56-year-old student at a Michigan school says his free speech rights are being violated by his suspension for writing an essay, “Hot for Teacher.” Joseph Corlett was also barred from the campus of Oakland University in Pontiac and told he must get psychological counseling before he can return. A university committee cleared him of sexual harassment but found that he had committed intimidating behavior. Corlett has appealed the decision. The essay, with a title taken from a Van Halen song, was written for an advanced critical writing class. “Christ, I’ll never learn a thing. Tall, blond, stacked, skirt, heels, fingernails, smart, articulate, smile. I’m toast, but I stay,” wrote Corlett. He also said that while he described the instructor as attractive he did not want a sexual relationship with her.

100-Year-Old Couple Shows Love Can Last Forever - Is it still possible or more like winning the lotto?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:30:00 PST

100-Year-Old Couple Shows Love Can Last Forever
A New Jersey couple who are both 100-years-old said their love has survived nearly 71 years of marriage. Grayce and Clarence Dwyer, who still live in their own home in Madison with the help of an aide, said their similar backgrounds, coming from Irish immigrant families and losing their fathers to the 1917 flu epidemic, helped them connect. The couple has four children, 17 grandchildren and 12 great-grandchildren. Grayce planned to celebrate Valentine’s Day by baking a cake to share with her husband.

Crack Lip - Where should you hide it?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 10:30:03 PST

Crack Lip
Police in Pennsylvania said a man seen with a bulging lip during a traffic stop turned out to have 23 pieces of crack cocaine in his mouth. Ambridge police said they pulled the pickup truck over because three men were inside but the vehicle only had shoulder belts for two. Police said a passenger, Frank Lee Turner, 56, exited the vehicle during the traffic stop and was heard mumbling with a bulging lip when he was told to return to the truck. Officers said a piece of crack cocaine fell from Turner’s mouth while he was struggling with them and he spat out 22 more individually wrapped pieces of crack cocaine when they used a Taser on him. Turner was charged with aggravated assault, resisting arrest and drug possession with intent to deliver.

Queen Mooner Fined - Mooning, Funny or Offensive?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 09:30:00 PST

Queen Mooner Fined
An Australian man who bared his buttocks to Queen Elizabeth during the monarch’s visit to the country has been fined $800. Officials said Liam Warriner, 22, displayed his bare butt with an Australian flag held between his cheeks while running alongside the motorcade carrying the queen and the duke of Edinburgh during their October 24th visit to Brisbane. Warriner said the act was a political protest he would repeat for “any self-propagating elitist,” including U.S. President Barack Obama and Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard. Warriner was fined $800 for making a public nuisance, but was spared a criminal conviction.

Naked Cowgirl Busted For DUI - Want to help her pay her bail?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 08:30:03 PST

Naked Cowgirl Busted For DUI
Police in Corpus Christi, Texas, arrested an 18-year-old woman who led them on a chase while wearing nothing but a pair of cowboy boots. Officers responding to a call about a suspicious person around 3:10 a.m. Sunday spotted Taylor Burnham, 18, standing next to a Jeep Wrangler wearing nothing but her boots. Burnham jumped into the driver’s seat of the vehicle and led police on a slow-speed chase into a neighboring subdivision, where she drove onto a sidewalk before coming to a stop. Burnham was charged with misdemeanor drunk driving as well as felony evading arrest in a vehicle. She was released Monday after posting $3,500 bond.

Stealing Lesson - There's a class for that?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 07:30:02 PST

Stealing Lesson
A Memphis family is hoping a 13-year-old girl learned a lesson about stealing after she was made to stand at the side of a road with a sign. Lauren Scales, the girl’s aunt, said Natia Wade’s mother made her stand at an intersection on Sunday holding a sign that read: “I steal from my family.” “My niece for the past couple of years, quite honestly has been kind of taking things. It hasn’t been anything big, but it never really has to be,” Scales said. She said the girl’s mother finally had enough when Wade stole a debit card from her mother to reactive her cell phone, which had been cut off as a punishment.

Museum Of Broken Hearts - What would your display look like?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 06:30:01 PST

Museum Of Broken Hearts
It’s a museum of love gone bad. Officials of the Museum of Broken Relationships in Croatia’s capital expected their visits to nearly double yesterday, Valentine’s Day. The mementos range from a garter belt to a shattered garden gnome. The artist who co-founded the museum says the collection of about 1,000 items also includes an artificial leg. It was donated by a British veteran who fell in love with his physical therapist. A note says the leg lasted longer than the relationship. The leg is on loan to a gallery in England.

Bald? There’s A Tatt For That! Bald is Sexy or Cover it up??

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:15:00 PST

Bald? There’s A Tatt For That!
A British company is opening salons across England dedicated to tattooing the scalps of bald men to make it look like they have short hair. HIS Hair, or Hair-Ink-Skin, is opening facilities across England to allow men who have lost their hair to give the appearance of hair growing back using a tattooing technique applying different shades of pigment to the scalp to emulate the look of a buzz cut. Founder Ian Watson said he developed alopecia and lost all of his hair in his mid-20s. He said the idea for the procedure came to him when he had his sister-in-law, Ranbir Rai-Watson, use a fine pen to draw dots on his scalp.

Man Arrested For Dumping A Disabled Man - Don't you feel tough?!

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 11:15:00 PST

Man Arrested For Dumping A Disabled Man
A Fort Myers, Florida, man who called police about trespassers on his property was charged with assaulting a disabled man and overturning his wheelchair. Bradley Oberding, 30, denied the assault ever happened. The 50-year-old disabled man told investigators he became the target of Oberding’s rage because some of his friends had strayed onto Oberding’s property. He said Oberding pitched him out of his wheelchair and then picked it up and threatened to hit him with it. His friends came to his aid.

‘Piggyback Bandit’ Still At It - What is your hobby?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:15:00 PST

‘Piggyback Bandit’ Still At It
A Seattle man dubbed the “piggyback bandit” has been reported jumping or trying to jump on the backs of athletes at games in five states. The man, identified as 28-year-old Sherwin Shayegan, has shown up in North Dakota, Minnesota, Montana, Washington and Oregon. Shayegan, who weighs 250 pounds, has been banned from all high school sports events in North Dakota after episodes at three schools in Bismarck. A Minnesota high school league official said Shayegan was spotted in St. Cloud last Thursday and was known to be in Minneapolis on Friday. Shayegan recently pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor assault charges in Helena, Montana. He also has been convicted of felony burglary and theft, the Oregon School Activities Association said. In Washington State, he has about two dozen convictions for trespassing, criminal impersonation and possession charges.

Bank Tells Credit Rating Firms Man Is Dead - Not BOA?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 09:15:00 PST

Bank Tells Credit Rating Firms Man Is Dead
A South Carolina man was denied a bank loan for a new home because his credit report listed him as deceased. Arthur Livingston’s bank, Bank of America, has been reporting Art as “deceased” to the three major credit rating agencies since May 2009. The 39-year-old Prosperity man said he discovered the bank’s blunder in October when he tried to obtain a loan for a new house from a mortgage company. Since then, Livingston said Bank of America still hasn’t come up with a solution and his mortgage company has been unable to obtain his credit score to give him a loan for his new home. A spokeswoman for Bank of America said the bank was working with Livingston to “resolve this issue as quickly as possible.”

Man Blows Up Candy House - What is the best way to destroy a Candy House?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 08:15:00 PST

Man Blows Up Candy House
A Rock Hall, Maryland, man is facing charges he allegedly tried to blow up a gingerbread house with fireworks in an incident that left his wife injured. Jerry Lee Heinefield, 36, has been charged with reckless endangerment, possession of illegal fireworks and discharge of fireworks. Investigators said that on February 3rd, Heinefield loaded a small gingerbread house with fireworks on his front porch. When he lit the fireworks, the small house exploded and a piece hit his wife’s wrist. Catherine Heinefield suffered a puncture and burn to her wrist that required treatment at a local hospital.

Pop The Question With A Pizza Hut Proposal Kit - Would you ever?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 07:15:00 PST

Pop The Question With A Pizza Hut Proposal Kit
Pizza Hut is offering a “Tie the Knot with the $10 Dinner Box” proposal kit for lovers. The Hut says the kit is “Perfect to offer her your love, devotion and a box full of pizza and breadsticks.” You also get a limo, fireworks, flowers, red ruby ring, a photographer and a videographer to capture the moment that you and your beloved agree to spend the rest of your lives together. The deal includes a rectangular pan pizza, five breadsticks and marinara sauce. To make the deal really sweet, it comes with 10 cinnamon sticks with some sweet icing.

Sewage Plant Offers Valentine’s Day Tours - Nothing say's I LOVE YOU like.....

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 06:15:00 PST

Sewage Plant Offers Valentine’s Day Tours
A New York City sewage plant is offering tours for lovers on Valentine’s Day. The tour host and superintendent of the Newtown Creek Wastewater treatment plant in Brooklyn said it will be a unique date, and one that your special someone will never forget. Jim Pynn says the highlight of the tour will be the plant’s giant egg-shaped digesters, which break down the noxious waste into harmless sludge and gas. Pynn says each Valentine’s Day visitor will get a Hershey kiss – which we hope is made out of real chocolate.

Mother Sues City For $900 Trillion - What would you do with your winnings?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:15:00 PST

Mother Sues City For $900 Trillion
A Staten Island mom is making headlines after suing the city of West Brighton for $900 trillion, alleging the city improperly placed her two children in foster care. The $900 trillion figure certainly is far beyond most lawsuits seeking cash, but plaintiff Fausat Ogunbayo is pretty clever suing for $900 trillion. While she may end up with nothing, experts say she could end up with a lot more because she sued for such a tremendous amount. If Ogunbayo was awarded $900 trillion she’d have enough disposable income to pay off the U.S. national debt several times over.

Ex-Mayor Admits Stealing Mixer To Make Pizza - If your going to steal something, what would it be?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 13:15:00 PST

Ex-Mayor Admits Stealing Mixer To Make Pizza
The former mayor of a Los Angeles suburb has pleaded guilty to stealing a commercial food mixer from the local school district so he could make dough for his home pizza oven. Los Angeles County prosecutors say Larry Guidi entered the plea yesterday to a felony count of grand theft. He was sentenced to 100 hours of community service and one year of probation. A commercial burglary charge was dismissed. Guidi was a warehouse operations manager for the Hawthorne School District until he was fired last year. Prosecutors say a security camera recorded him loading the giant mixer and a cart into his pickup truck in 2010. The $1,300 mixer was later returned. Guidi was the mayor of Hawthorne for nearly 20 years but didn’t run for re-election last year.

Suit For Half Of Lotto Winnings Tossed - Think it should be shared??

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:15:00 PST

Suit For Half Of Lotto Winnings Tossed
A Florida judge has ruled against a man who sued his ex-girlfriend for half of the $1 million jackpot she won from the Florida Lottery. Circuit Judge Alan Dickey ruled that Howard Browning’s case was legally insufficient Tuesday after 11 1/2 hours of testimony in the lawsuit against Lynn Anne Poirier. Browning alleged he and Poirier, who lived together for 16 years, had agreed to split any lottery winnings either of them won. He said he gave Poirier the money to buy the ticket in 2007. However, Poirier said she had never entered any such agreement with Browning and she had paid for the ticket herself. She said she had been trying to get Browning to leave her home for some time and eventually had to have him evicted.

Nuns Angry About New Strip Club Neighbor - The lord works in mysterious ways!?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:15:00 PST

Nuns Angry About New Strip Club Neighbor
Catholic nuns living in Stone Park, Illinois, are angry about a strip club being built next door. The Missionary Sisters of Saint Charles Borromeo – Scalabrinians said the Stone Park village board approved plans for a strip club next to their west suburban Chicago convent, which contains facilities for sick and elderly nuns as well as housing for novices seeking to enter the order. The nuns said they’re looking into whether the club, which will be called “Get It,” was built too close to their property line. They are also complaining that the convent and other neighbors were not informed of the project before it was approved by the village board. Stone Park Village Attorney Dean Krone said letters were sent out prior to the hearing on the project’s approval, but the letter intended for the nuns ended up at the wrong address.

Special Centennial Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:15:00 PST

Special Centennial Birthday
LaVona Evans and the state of Arizona have something in common – the same birthday. Evans turns 100 on February 14th. That’s also the 100th anniversary of Arizona becoming a state. Even her name reflects her history. “LaV” is for Valentine’s Day and “ona” is for Arizona. She’ll be the grand marshal of the Graham County Centennial Parade this Saturday. After the parade, her family plans a birthday party.

Chocolate Covered Suspect - What would you like to be covered in?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 09:15:00 PST

Chocolate Covered Suspect
Police in eastern Kentucky say a young man was just wearing a pair of black boots and a coating of chocolate and peanut butter after breaking through a glass door at a supermarket. According to authorities, 22-year-old Andrew Allen Michael Toothman smeared peanut butter around the store, set off fire extinguishers and used bottles of Nyquil to spell out the word “sorry.” One trooper tells a local paper it was the biggest mess he’s ever seen. Toothman now faces a number of charges including burglary and indecent exposure.

Times Square Heart Sculpture - Very Cool!

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:17:44 PST

Times Square Heart Sculpture
Times Square has a heart. There’s a giant red heart in the middle of New York’s Times Square. Touch the heart and it starts to beat. Hold hands or kiss and the 10-foot-high sculpture glows brighter and beats even faster. It’s an installation celebrating Valentine’s Day, courtesy of the Times Square Alliance. The interactive work will stay on display through the end of the month.

Woman Wakes To Find Stranger At Stove -

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 14:15:00 PST

Woman Wakes To Find Stranger At Stove
Authorities in Florida said a woman who awoke to the smell of smoke discovered a stranger attempting to cook in her kitchen. The Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office said the Neptune Beach woman woke up around 4 a.m. Monday to the smell of smoke and discovered a stranger, identified as David Kurlin, 41, attempting to cook frozen foods on the stove without removing them from their plastic packaging. The woman locked herself in her room and called 911, investigators said. Officers said Kurlin, who was spotted by a neighbor while leaving the home, had the woman’s purse over his shoulder when he was found by deputies. Kurlin, who entered the home by removing the plastic from a dog door, told deputies he had been partying with four or five other people and decided to cook some food once they went home.

Grenade Donated To Salvation Army - What is the strangest thing you have donated?

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 13:15:00 PST

Grenade Donated To Salvation Army
Workers at a Salvation Army store in Florida said they discovered a dummy hand grenade while sorting through a box of donations. The Salvation Army of Palm Beach County said the workers were sorting through a box of donations when they stumbled upon the grenade, which still had its pin. A police bomb squad investigated the item and determined it was inactive and may have been manufactured during World War II. “That was the most unique item that has been discovered,” said Tara Holcomb, development and public relations director for the Salvation Army.

Robber Had Pies, Not Bomb

noreply@blogger.com (Web Guy) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 12:15:00 PST

Robber Had Pies, Not Bomb
Police in California said a bank robber who claimed to have a bomb in a fast food bag was actually only carrying a couple of McDonald’s apple pies. Sacramento police said Daniel Hegwood, 33, was carrying the McDonald’s bag when he walked into a Wells Fargo bank around 1:15 p.m. Saturday and told a teller there was a bomb in the bag. “The suspect left a package at one of the teller windows and said there was a bomb inside. He got cash from the teller and fled on foot,” a police spokesman said. Hegwood, who left the bag at the bank, was found in a nearby parking garage wearing a red backpack with money protruding from it. Police said Hegwood claimed to have a bomb in his backpack, but they found only money and Hegwood’s belongings.