Daily Text Messages | Love, Quotes, Jokes, Inspirational, etc.

Text Message #113

2011-03-08T22:07:00.000+08:00

GIRL 1 : Halata na tiyan mo, bakit di pa kayo magpakasal ng BF mo?
GIRL 2 : Ayaw ng pamilya niya eh!
GIRL 1 : Sino may ayaw, tatay o nanay niya ?
GIRL 2 : yung misis niya!

Misis: Hudas ka! lagi kang umuuwing lasing. Naaasar na tuloy ako sa mukha mo.
Mister: Pero mahal, kung hindi ako lasing, ako naman ang maaasar sa mukha mo!

Dalawang mag-barkada nag-uusap:

Mike: Bakit lumaki yung paa ni Amy?
Jun: Sinipa yung punso!
Mike: Eh, bakit lumaki naman yung nguso ni Fe?
Jun: Dinuraan yung punso...O pare saan ka pupunta?
Mike: Iihi sa punso!

M'AM: Inday, sa susunod, ayokong pinakikialaman mo ang condom namin ng sir mo!
INDAY: M'am, hwag kayong magbibintang! Di kami sanay ni Sir gumamit niyan! Sobra kayo!

Text Message #112

2011-02-03T07:08:00.000+08:00

Everytime the sun brings rays of light

through your window, know that an

angel is joining hearts together.

Good Morning!

Your eyes are the gateway to your soul

and a gift from God.

What you show in your eyes

should only reflect the image

of God who is Love.

Text Message #111

2011-02-02T09:07:00.000+08:00

Like water,

be peaceful.

Like earth,

know balance.

Like fire,

love passionately.

Like wind,

be free.

Life is a blessing.

Live it in God's way!

Text Message #110

2010-11-01T06:20:00.000+08:00

Tinatamad ka bang dalawin ang iyong loved ones sa sementeryo?

Text DALAW ON at i-send sa 2366.

Sila mismo ang dadalaw sa iyo.

Text na!

Text Message #109

2010-10-29T06:51:00.000+08:00

Our lives are made up of a million moments,

spent in a million different ways.

Some are spent searching for love, peace and harmony.

Others are spent surviving day to day.

But there is no greater moment than when we find that life

with all its joys and sorrows

is meant to be lived one day at a time.

Have a wonderful day!

Text Message #108

2010-10-28T07:30:00.004+08:00

Kumatok ang isang ahente sa bahay.
Pagbukas ni misis ng pinto, agad pumasok ang ahente at ikinalat sa sahig ang ebak ng kabayo.
Sabi ng ahente: Mam, pag hindi nalinis ng Vacuum cleaner ko ang kalat... Kakainin ko ang mga yan!!!
Misis: ay putang ina ka!!! Umpisahan mo na pagkain niyan at BROWNOUT kami ngayon!

Atty: asan ka ng mangyari ang rape???
Witness: sa maisan
Atty: anong ginagawa mo dun??
Witness: tumatae Po
Atty: ilang hakbang ka mula sa krimen??
Witness: Aba ewan!!! may tumatae bang pahakbang hakbang??

Text Message #107

2010-10-27T06:44:00.008+08:00

Be thankful for our capacity to love and to be loved..
for these are the essence of life.
Be thankful for our blessings..
counting them is better than counting hurts and regrets.
Be thankful to those who forget to say thanks..
so we can be reminded to be different. GOD bless U!

The finest gift you can give everyone is encouragement.
Yet, almost no one gets the encouragement they need to grow to their full potential.
If everyone received encouragement they need to grow,
the genius in everyone would blossom &
the world would produce abundance beyond our wildest dreams.

How many times do you say “thank you” in a day?
How many times do you hear the same words?
Learn to be grateful and you will be open to receive an abundance of joy and happiness.
Thank You!

Text Message #106

2010-10-26T06:40:00.000+08:00

Maraming nabu2hay sa salitang ‘mahal kita’

pero mas mraming lumuluha dahil sa salitang un.

Bakit?

Dahil mas mraming bibig na cnungaling kaysa pusong umaamin.

Text Message #105

2010-10-25T06:46:00.005+08:00

Like each flower that opens in the spring, after winter’s long, harsh abuse…
Life, each dawn, is a renewal…
A chance to bloom in all hues.
Good Morning!

What does the morning offer?
But a chance to hold your heart, To lift your tears to the sunlight and pray Heaven will do its part.
A chance to embrace where you are, to cherish those who surround you,
Every heartbeat… Every minute… Every hour. . .

Have a wonderful day!

Text Message #104

2010-10-24T07:32:00.004+08:00

Try punching a waLL..
Does it fight back?

Yes it does, you were aLso hurt.

Now,hug a piLLow..
Did it hug you too?

Yes, you feLt the warmth.

This time, shout.
Hear it?

Yes, coz you’re Listening.

Lesson?

APPRECIATE..

aLways appreciate thngs ar0und u even if sometimes it gves u pain or love.
Good morning!:-)

Text Message #103

2010-10-23T06:45:00.003+08:00

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher mam!!

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, mam, it's the same dog.

TEACHER: Why are you late??
Jr: Mam, ther was a man who lost his P500 bill
Teacher: Good! you helped him look for it right?
Jr:No Mam!!! tinapakan ko po kasi hanggang sa umalis siya!

TEACHER: Ok class, Our lesson 4 today is about planet. Earth is the 3rd planed from the sun. Now, what is next to mercury?
Pedro: Murag Rose Pharmacy man tingali mam! D ko lang sure.

Text Message #102

2010-10-22T06:21:00.000+08:00

Hindi namn ako HOMEWORK...
but why there are so many people who wants to take me home..?

Boy: gusto mo libre kita ng siomai at hopia??
Girl:ha? bakit?
Boy: wala lang.. i just want to siomai love for you and hopia love me too!

Text Message #101

2010-10-17T07:32:00.000+08:00

Like water,

be peaceful.

Like earth,

know balance.

Like fire,

love passionately.

Like wind,

be free.

Life is a blessing.

Live it in God's way!

-good morning-

B - egin your day w/

L - ove in Christ

E - xpect blessings

S - hare goodness

S - hine like the sun

I - nspire someone &

N - ever forget

G - OD

Text Message #100

2010-10-16T08:12:00.000+08:00

If you're hurt,

cheer up..

Don't just cry on the

side..

It wouldn't help you!

Instead,

go on with

your life!

Remember,

you were once

the strongest

sperm of

your dad!

LAW OF REALITY:

Never ever get into fights
with ugly people...

they have literally

& figuratively,

nothing to lose!

Text Message #99

2010-10-15T07:27:00.010+08:00

Mr. Bean felt ill so the

doctor gave him a tablet.
He started cutting
the side of the

tablet.

Doc: Why are you cutting

the sides?

Mr. Bean: To avoid the

side effects...

GALILEO: Great mind

EINSTEIN: Genius mind

NEWTON: Extraordinary mind

BILL GATES: Brilliant mind

Me: Master mind

YOU: Oh! Never mind!

Text Message #98

2010-10-14T11:24:00.003+08:00

Not everything

that makes us happy

is right..

but for sure,

there will come a time

when everything

that is right,

will make us happy".

It’s better to wait for years
for that someone
u are sure of...
than to grab that chance
with someone who
picks u up but
drop u whenvr he/she wants to..

Text Message #97

2010-09-27T06:35:00.007+08:00

Life is Like a Bible,

everyday is a new page,

with LesSons to Learn,

Adventures to tell

and tales of good deeds

to remember,

have a nice chapter today!

4 everything
dat happens
n our lives,
der s a REASON,
& a MISSION…
Let d reason b GOD,
& let d mission b LOVE...

Text Message #96

2010-09-26T06:26:00.000+08:00

There are 6 Rules to be Happy:

1. free your heart from hatred

2. free your mind from worry

3. live simply

4. expect less

5. give more

6. have a friend

Text Message #95

2010-09-25T06:43:00.002+08:00

Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love, then, life would be much simpler, but then less magical. - Southpark.

Love and Friend are walking in a village. Love falls into a well. Why? Because Love is blind. Friend also jumps inside. Why? Because Friend will do anything for Love.

Text Message #94

2010-09-24T07:39:00.003+08:00

Well, it was a million tiny little things

that when you added them all up,

they meant we were supposed to be together...

and I knew it. I knew the very first time I touched her.

It was like coming home...

the only real home I'd ever known.

I was just taking her hand to help her out of a car.

It was like... magic.

- Sleepless in Seattle

Text Message #93

2010-09-23T06:38:00.001+08:00

"Everytime you wish for something, keep your eyes wide open, focus & know exactly what you want. No one hits the target with eyes closed."
- Paulo Coelho

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

Text Message #92

2010-09-22T06:35:00.001+08:00

DID YOU KNOW THAT:

"D only 15-letter word dat

can be spelled w/o repeating a

letter is UNCOPYRIGHTABLE."

FACETIOUS, ABSTEMIOUS &

ARSENIOUS contain all

vowels in the correct order,"

"RHYTHMS is the longest

English word w/o vowel."

Text Message #91

2010-09-21T06:29:00.003+08:00

Success in life can never be an accident, it's the result of right decisions at the right time. Champions are not people who never fail but people who never quit.

Sometimes, you just can't take things back to the way they used to be, no matter how you try, regardless of how sorry you are. Because in life, there are no rewinds, only plays, so, play it right.

Text Message #90

2010-09-20T06:30:00.012+08:00

Muuaah!

alis na, isa n lng!.. muah!

sigaw ng bisayang

konduktor ng bus

ppuntang Mall of Asia...

Juan: Para akong lalagnatin.
Ano kaya ang iinumin kong gamot?

Pedro: Aw! parang lang pala eh,
inom ka rin ng parang gamot
para magmukha ka ring parang gagaling….
hehehe...

Text Message #89

2010-09-19T07:17:00.002+08:00

One thing I have learned from GOD is

how to get along happily whether I have much or little.

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything.

I have learned d secret of contentment in every situation…

U KNOW WHY?

Because JESUS is enough to cover everything.

Everytime something good happens to us,
let’s make somethng good happen to someone else.
The more we share our blessings, the more we are blessed.