Dan in Melbourne

Wordage

2007-06-06T07:29:00.000+10:00

So I caved in and got a new blog. It's called Wordage. Here's the link:

http://wordage.wordpress.com/

Do drop by when you're in the neighbourhood.

That's all, folks

2007-02-03T01:40:00.000+11:00

And that brings this little blog to an end. I started it in the first throes of love - the modern equivalent of shouting it from the rooftops - but although our relationship continues to deepen, I find myself less and less inclined to share those little moments that would previously have had me rushing to the keyboard. And, of course, I'm no longer 'Dan in Melbourne'.

At some point I may start another blog and post the address here. But until then, thanks for coming along for the ride, and for all your comments and support.

It's been fun.

...London

2007-02-03T01:39:00.000+11:00

And so back to London. We awoke the next day to a a carpet of snow, which was great, if slightly surreal having come from summer. It was incredibly cold, but it was good to be home.

...Hong Kong...

2007-01-31T20:32:00.000+11:00

We then stopped off in Hong Kong for a few days, staying on my friend's junk and zipping around on the island's many forms of transport. I've said it before and I'll say it again: there's something about the hangovers over there...

Sydney...

2007-01-31T20:20:00.000+11:00

After a frantic week in Melbourne shutting up shop, packing and saying goodbyes, we headed off to Sydney. The sun shone, the waves... did whatever waves do, and it was a very pleasant way to spend our last few days in Australia.

...And a Dannii New Year

2007-01-31T20:00:00.000+11:00

For New Year, five of us headed off to Hayman Island in the Whitsundays. As well as drinking cocktails by the pool, snorkelling on the reef and helicoptering to Whitehaven Beach, we attended the New Year's Eve party. Dannii Minogue hopped on stage to sing 'Kiss' which was exciting enough (as Steven is a bit of a Minogue fan). But that was topped a couple of hours later, when I turned round to see Steven buttonholing the young lady. As he talked away into her left ear, she tipped her head back and laughed. Even the famous aren't immune to a bit of the old Steven magic.

An exceedingly merry Christmas...

2007-01-31T06:20:00.000+11:00

Christmas was spent in deepest Queensland with our friend Jane, who laid on a magnificent day. It was a traditional Queensland Christmas - shrimps on the barbie, beers drunk through a length of piping, tennis balls shot out of a flame-throwing spud-gun and a 2am skinny-dip in the pool. With a traditional Queensland Boxing Day hangover to follow.

Laid down low

2006-12-21T21:33:00.000+11:00

We've been laid down low with what we thought was food poisoning, but judging by the number of people with similar symptoms we now reckon to be a bug. And to think I was oscillating between blaming our friend Ubergay for the BBQ at his fabulous apartment and castigating myself for the improper heating-up of our hangover ready-meal.

So that pretty much wrote off a whole week - and what a week to write off too, what with a bunchof pre-Christmas do's lined up and - more importantly - the long-awaited trip to see Kylie. We still made it to the Rod Laver Arena, and despite the dizzy spells and the urgent clambering over the middle-aged ladies next to us to get to the bathroom, it was still a good night.

Before the bug hit, Steven and I made it to Q&A. Having previously met Jay there, this time we bumped into the twin stars of the Melbourne blogging scene, R*yan and D.U.P. They were both excellent value - and my time here would have felt incomplete if I'd left without meeting them. Man about Town was a fabulous Mistress of Ceremonies as ever - thanks for the Eurythmics track!

We're now back in rude health for our Christmas and New Year jaunt to Queensland.

Whatever you're doing, have a happy one.

The final frontier

2006-12-13T09:34:00.000+11:00

Why is this picture from the International Space Station causing excitement amongst Apple-heads?

Because if you select the high-res version on the NASA website, you can see the guy's iPod to the right of his head.

An apology

2006-12-10T21:05:00.000+11:00

To the reader in Paris who came here (two days in a row) via a Google search for "pecs torture" - Sorry. I suspect my post on the tribulations of joining a gym wasn't quite what you were after.

Fire

2006-12-09T12:08:00.000+11:00

We live right in the middle of the city. And we can smell the smoke from here. Much respect and good luck to everyone fighting the fires.

A vision in khaki

2006-12-06T12:05:00.000+11:00

On December 1st, game rangers Vernon Gibbs and Tony Halls became South Africa's first gay couple to tie the knot. According to one of them, "We did not have a very romantic wedding night because we have two baby bat-eared foxes that kept us up all night wanting to be fed and cuddled. And then someone brought in a black eagle with a broken wing and we had to take care of that." Bless.

Come on, Australia. Your turn next. Get those civil unions on the statute books and don't let Howard overrule it this time.

Cover me slow

2006-12-03T17:19:00.000+11:00

You know when you hear a cover version that's a really slowed down version of the original, so that it kind of sounds like the song's been left outside and it snowed and the song froze and it's only now starting to thaw out again, and it's covered in particles of frost that glint in the pale winter sunlight and make you see the shape of the thing in a way you never did before? Well, Steven put a CD on with one such track on it (the first on the list), and it made me think of a few others that I like:

Temptation - the Moby cover of the New Order song
Sweet Jane - the Cowboy Junkies cover of the Velvet Underground song
Mad World - the Gary Jules cover of the Tears for Fears song (as featured in Donnie Darko)
Let's Dance - the M Ward cover of the David Bowie song
Baby One More Time - the Travis cover of the Britney Spears song

Nice.

Oldbus

2006-12-03T16:25:00.000+11:00

Every other blogger in Melbourne has been banging on about how Shortbus is a must-see movie, so on Saturday afternoon we finally caved in and went down the road to the Kino Dendy to see it.

Now I don't know if the Dendy people have a special afternoon deal for pensioners, or if the lure of "unsimulated" sex is particularly strong for old people, but we were pretty much the only ones there under 60. The cinema was fairly empty, but here and there were groups of old women, old couples, and a rather worrying group of old men in the back row.

This was, quite frankly, a little disconcerting. I was suddenly reminded of an uncomfortable occasion watching Not the Nine O'Clock News with my grandmother back in the Eighties. A pastiche of Olivia Newton-John's 'Let's Get Physical' video came on screen, with Pamela Stephenson in a leotard riding a stuffed sheep rather suggestively. Awkwardness filled the room.

There was no awkwardness this time round, though. The oldies cackled with mirth at every new combination and contortion that flashed on screen. I enjoyed the film. By the sounds of things, they enjoyed it even more.

(If you do visit a Dendy cinema, try the choc-tops. To. Die. For.)

Heidi at Bondi

2006-12-03T15:33:00.000+11:00

So what do you do when you fancy a nice healthy breakfast at home, but want something a bit special because it's the weekend? Why, you whip up some of bill's (the Sydney restaurateur always refers to himself in lower case) Bircher (the Swiss doctor favoured the traditional upper-case B) muesli. "A little bit Heidi, a little bit Bondi," says bill.

At the risk of incurring a lower-case law-suit from the bills empire, here's what you do: Soak a cup of rolled oats in half a cup of apple juice overnight. Sleep well. In the morning, add half a cup of grated apple, a quarter cup of natural yoghurt and the juice of half a lemon. Mix it up good and proper and spoon into two bowls. Top with sliced peaches and nectarines, throw in some berries and drizzle (such a recipe word) with honey. Lovely.

The trip of a lifetime

2006-12-01T19:20:00.000+11:00

So it's almost the end of 2006. And what a year I've had. It was always going to be a bit special, what with it being the year of my once-in-a-lifetime round-the-world trip. (A five-hyphen trip, no less.) It was going to be full of adventure.

It didn't disappoint.

The adventures, as it turned out, weren't all quite the kind I expected. Sure, I got lost on the LA freeways, hiked up a New Zealand mountain and danced in a Bollywood movie.

But I had other adventures too, things that I never thought could possibly be adventures, things that involved eating in restaurants, watching DVDs and buying shoes.

In short, I did the one thing I hadn't planned on doing this year. I fell in love.

Soon, 2006 will pack up its wheelie-case and head off to the departure lounge. Shortly after that, I'll return to London, to my apartment, to work. But I'll take with me a very special souvenir. A guy by the name of Steven.

The trip will be over. But the journey will just be beginning.

The news has reached America

2006-11-29T20:16:00.000+11:00

AJ, of American gay podcasting collective Rainbow Podsquad, says in his latest episode:

"Steven from Melbourne is fierce, fabulous and cute, ladies."

I couldn't have put it better myself.

You gotta love Melbourne

2006-11-24T18:06:00.000+11:00

Laugh? I nearly got a six-pack

2006-11-23T12:42:00.001+11:00

I haven't made it to the gym much recently, but I got a great ab workout today from laughing too much at the latest Ricky Gervais podcast.

Also improving the musculature that's cunningly disguised by my belly are the Adam & Joe podcasts (from the same Saturday afternoon Xfm slot that Ricky's lot started out on).

And did I mentioned that we'd jumped on the podcast bandwagon too?

Oh, yes. So I did.

Fascinating fascinators

2006-11-17T16:04:00.001+11:00

Yes, it's finally here, the eagerly-anticipated second instalmant of the Melbourne Cup podcast. This one follows us through the post-race carnage, as we talk to fashion designers, gamblers and drunks. In the process, we become gradually more inebriated ourselves. For research purposes only.

Click here for an intoxicating experience...

Melbourne Cup - the podcast

2006-11-09T22:34:00.001+11:00

Melbourne Cup Day is the big horse racing occasion here - and a public holiday too. Rather than go to the effort of dressing up, Steven and I wandered down to Fed Square to inhale the racing flavour.

We took with us the trusty iTalk, a handy recorder that plugs into an ipod, to save the event for posterity.

And thanks to the joys of podcasting, you too can be instantly transported to this world of highs and lows, of winners and losers, of hats and fascinators.

Click here to start your thrilling journey...

Mixed doubles

2006-11-05T21:26:00.000+11:00

Friday night involved a spot of absinthe, with the result that we didn't do much on Saturday. In the evening we settled down to watch Match Point. When it ended, after wondering whether to call it a night, we we decided to stick on another London movie with a tennis title, Wimbledon.

Sadly, I found myself giving a novel reason for watching it: "It'd make a good blog entry." Oh dear. Is this a sign that the blogging's gone too far? They say you're addicted to something when it starts interfering with your life...

Jointly

2006-11-02T18:35:00.000+11:00

Today we went to a bank and opened a joint bank account. I've never had a joint bank account before. I like it.

As well as being quite handy, it will be useful in the future as one of the pieces of evidence showing that we have a "co-dependent relationship". After a year of a being co-dependent, I'll be able to live in Australia. After two years, Steven will be able to live in the UK. (Of course, civil unions now provide another option in the UK without the two year rule, but still needing the same kind of proof.)

We've been slow about building up the evidence so far. We did try and get both our names on the electricity account, but the bill just arrived and the idiots didn't manage to put my name on it. So after six months of co-dependency, we're still short of pieces of paper to show for it.

Am I irritated by the hoops we have to jump through to demonstrate that our relationship is real? No. Straight couples have to jump through exactly the same hoops. In fact, I'm impressed that both our countries allow same-sex partners to immigrate.

Good on ya, Australia.
Jolly good show, Britain.

23%

2006-11-01T17:20:00.000+11:00

At Christmas, we're heading up to the Great Barrier Reef. However, we've dedicated half of 2006 to sitting on the sofa stuffing ourselves with Twisties, chocolate and ice-cream purchased late at night from the 7-11 that lurks perilously close to where we live. Thus our bodies are currently not in the Beach God category. In order to remedy the situation we've taken drastic measures - and joined the local gym.

I'm sure I've read other bloggers talking about getting their body fat down below 10%. The relentlessly cheery gym guy measured my fat content yesterday, and it came out at 23%. That's 23g per 100g. He didn't say how much of that saturates. If I was in a wrapper on the supermarket shelf, you'd put me back as soon as you read the label.

So today, off we went to start the programme which Cheery Guy had given us. Gyms are like another planet to me. I did join one once before, but only went three times in the whole six months. Luckily, this one has practically zero members, so there's no fighting with enormous steroid-crazed monsters to get to the machines.

I couldn't keep up with the right speeds on the cardio machines. Nor could I complete the reqired number of 'reps' (hey, I know the lingo) on the bizarre contraptions designed to torture my pecs, biceps and triceps (whatever they are). Even though I was using lower weights than I was supposed to.

Meanwhile, Cheery Guy has put us on a diet of five small meals a day - with a palmful of protein and a fistful of carbohydrate. (Clint Eastwood, eat your heart out - well, a small portion of it anyway.) We cheated today and snuck some cheese into our wholemeal sandwiches.

Oh well. Rome wasn't built in a day. And nor was this stomach.

You can never have too many shoes, bags... or Apple Macs

2006-10-30T22:07:00.000+11:00

The gays love the Apple. I've got two, Steven's got one, and an alarmingly high proportion of the gay blogs I read are tapped out on a Mac. In Stephen Fry's documentary about bipolar disorder, there's a fabulous scene were a therapist accompanies him on a shopping trip. As he practically drools over a Mac Mini, the therapist asks him if he really needs it. "Yes!" he replies vehemently. She then asks him how many Macs he has already. "Oh, nine," he replies casually, in a way that emphasises the irrelevance of mere numbers in the presence of beauty.

So it's kind of nice that the Greenpeace Apple campaign starts from the premise "We love Apple." It's true. We do. And, yes - it would be nice if we could lord it over PC users not only because Macs look nicer and are easier to use, but because they were greener too.

In other Apple news, if you've ever thought that the Shuffle feature on your iPod wasn't really random, the problem isn't inside the shiny case, it's inside your head.