Dana Che | Christian Marriage Speaker, Author & Podcast Host https://danache.com/ From Conflict to Connection—Building Marriages That Last Fri, 27 Mar 2026 21:51:49 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0 https://danache.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/cropped-Dana-Che-Logo-emblem-1-2-32x32.png Dana Che | Christian Marriage Speaker, Author & Podcast Host https://danache.com/ 32 32 How to Rebuild Trust After Infidelity (Step-by-Step Guide)​ https://danache.com/how-to-rebuild-trust-after-infidelity-step-by-step-guide/ https://danache.com/how-to-rebuild-trust-after-infidelity-step-by-step-guide/#respond Fri, 27 Mar 2026 19:12:35 +0000 https://danache.com/?p=59300 Rebuild trust after infidelity with this step-by-step, faith-based guide. Learn how healing, forgiveness, and consistency restore marriage after betrayal.

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How to Rebuild Trust After Infidelity (Step-by-Step Guide)

how to rebuild trust after infidelity

 

If you’re here, chances are you’re asking this very heavy question:

“Can trust really be rebuilt after infidelity?”

I want to answer you honestly—not theoretically, but from my lived experience.

Yes… trust can be rebuilt.
But not quickly or easily. And, certainly, not without intentionality.

My husband, Shaun, and I didn’t just walk through one betrayal—we walked through cycles of infidelity. There were seasons where I questioned everything: my worth, my marriage, even my faith.

And yet, today, nearly 27 years later, we are still here. Not just surviving our marriage, but being restored and thriving in it.We didn’t make it through the darkness because we were “strong.” Most days, I felt very weak. But because God is a Redeemer. He truly heals broken things and broken people.

Our marriage also made it through infidelity because we were willing to walk the long road of healing—step by step, mistake by mistake from pain to promise.

If you’re ready to do that too, let’s talk about what it actually takes.

Step 1: Name the Pain (Don’t Rush Past It)

One of the biggest mistakes couples make when trying to rebuild trust after infidelity is trying to “move on” too quickly. You cannot rebuild trust on top of unspoken pain.

The betrayal needs to be named:

  • The lies that were told
  • The broken promises that broke the marriage
  • The emotional and physical impact that still echoes in the darkness

If you’re the one who was betrayed, your pain matters.

If you’re the one who caused the hurt, this is where ownership begins. This means you stop being defensive. You stop minimizing the pain your spouse is feeling or your actions that caused this. You avoid saying things like, “It wasn’t that bad,” or “It happened a long time ago,” or “We weren’t doing well at the time.” 

You just tell the truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth. So help you, God. 

Because healing only happens when you’re willing to be honest.

Step 2: Grieve What Was Lost

Infidelity doesn’t just break trust—it breaks:

  • Safety and security
  • The innocence of your relationship
  • The version of your marriage you thought you had

And grief is necessary.

This is the part many couples skip, largely because they’re trying to put the pieces back together too quickly. But you can’t rebuild something new if you haven’t acknowledged what went wrong and why.

There were many moments in my journey where I had to sit with the reality that my marriage didn’t look like I thought it would. That what I thought I had wasn’t at all what I had. That we would really never be the same. And it hurt deeply. But grief wasn’t the end of my story, and it isn’t the end of your story—it’s simply part of the process.

There are many stages to grief, and none should be ignored. Just think if someone close to you died, you’d grieve, right? Well, something close to you died—your marriage, and it’s crucial that you grieve your losses. 

Step 3: Focus on Repentance and Forgiveness First

forgiveness in marriage quote

This might surprise you, but trust is not the first thing you rebuild.

Before trust comes:

  • Repentance ( the one who broke trust)
  • Forgiveness ( the one who was betrayed)

And let me be clear—forgiveness is not excusing what happened. It’s also not guaranteed reconciliation.

Forgiveness is choosing not to stay bound to the offense. It is not only a gift you give to someone else, but one that you give to yourself. Only when you choose to forgive will you ever be free of the toxicity of another person’s behavior. 

Also, repentance isn’t just saying “I’m sorry.”
It’s a change of heart, a change of direction, and a willingness and commitment to do the work.

This is where faith becomes more than mere talk.

It’s true that on your own, this is hard. Really hard. 
But with God, all things (including healing) become possible (Matthew 19:26).

Step 4: Rebuild Safety Before Trust

We’ve been told a lie. Time does NOT heal all wounds. And, likewise, trust doesn’t come back just because time has passed.

Trust returns when safety is rebuilt.

So how do you know when it’s time to rebuild trust? Look for things like:

  • Consistency over time
  • Transparency and honesty (no more secrets)
  • Accountability on the unfaithful spouse’s part
  • Open communication and a new desire to listen and truly understand 

The question becomes:
“Can I feel safe with you again?”

Not, “It’s been long enough. Are you ready to trust me again?” Remember, trust only grows where safety is steady.

Step 5: Take Responsibility for Your Own Healing

This is something I teach inside my Infidelity Intensive—healing isn’t just about your spouse changing. It’s also about your personal work. 

I often talk about “doing the work.” But what does that look like, exactly?

For starters, for the betrayed spouse, this means:

  • Processing your pain honestly and thoroughly
  • Rebuilding your identity apart from what happened to you
  • Learning how to communicate your needs and your expectations

For the spouse who broke trust, this means:

  • Understanding your patterns, weaknesses, and risky behaviors
  • Addressing the root issues that caused you to stray
  • Becoming someone safe whom your spouse can rely on

Though each spouse carries a different level of responsibility, both people have work to do.

I truly believe my healing was accelerated when I took responsibility for the red flags I missed, the boundaries I allowed to be violated, and the ways I had embraced unforgiveness like a blanket that kept me warm, when all it did was keep my heart cold. 

Step 6: Rebuild Trust Through Small, Daily Actions

Did you know that rebuilding trust is a process, not just a hope? Trust is not rebuilt by talking. It’s rebuilt by walking…walking it out day by day. 

Here are a few ways to rebuild trust:

  • Show up. Do what you say you’ll do. Be where you say you’ll be.
  • Follow through. Good intentions are just the beginning. It’s action that’s needed here.
  • Admit to your mistakes. If you mess up, own it. No more covering up, no more secrets, no more hiding.

Now, wash and repeat. Again and again.

It’s a slow process. Sometimes frustrating. Most times mundane.

But every consistent action lays another brick.

Step 7: Invite God Into the Process

I truly believe that there are some things you will not be able to heal on your own.

This is where God steps in as Redeemer.

He’s not only interested in restoring your marriage—but in restoring you. This means, He’s after:

  • Your heart
  • Your identity
  • Your hope
  • Your future (Jeremiah 29:11)


healing after infidelityWhat the enemy meant for destruction, God can use for transformation.

I’ve lived that.

A Final Word of Hope

If you’re in the middle of rebuilding a marriage after infidelity, I want you to hear me:

Your marriage is not disqualified because of infidelity.

But it will require:

  • Honesty
  • Humility
  • Commitment
  • And faith

This is exactly why I created my Infidelity Intensive—to walk couples step-by-step through this process, because I know how overwhelming it can feel when you’re trying to figure it out on your own.

You don’t have to stay stuck.

Healing is possible.
Trust can be rebuilt.
And your story is still being written.

Let’s see what the end shall be…

rebuilding trust after an affair course

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]]> https://danache.com/how-to-rebuild-trust-after-infidelity-step-by-step-guide/feed/ 0 5 WAYS TO COVER YOUR MARRIAGE IN PRAYER https://danache.com/5-ways-to-cover-your-marriage-in-prayer/ https://danache.com/5-ways-to-cover-your-marriage-in-prayer/#comments Thu, 24 Oct 2024 19:57:37 +0000 https://danache.com/?p=24661 Prayer increases our faith, and every Christian spouse should cover your marriage in prayer.

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5 WAYS TO C.O.V.E.R. YOUR MARRIAGE IN PRAYER

Danish Christian philosopher Soren Kierkegaard famously said, “Prayer doesn’t change God; it changes us.” While this, I believe, is true, I also believe our prayers do influence God’s decisions, but that’s another topic for another day. What I like about this quote is its emphasis on how prayer changes us. Prayer increases our faith, softens our hearts, and settles our minds. To this point, every Christian should pray, and every Christian spouse should cover your marriage in prayer. In fact, strong Christian marriages are fueled by prayer. 

One of the most important things you will ever do for your marriage is to pray for your marriage. As a marriage coach, I help couples learn better ways of communicating and rebuilding trust, among other things. Learning great communication skills, conflict resolution techniques and intimacy hacks are essential for a thriving marriage. However, if you’re leaving your marriage “uncovered” by failing to pray for your spouse and the success of your marriage, it will always be vulnerable to attacks from the enemy. 

cover your marriage in prayer

Prayer is the great unifier in marriage. It surpasses our understanding and logic. Many times, my husband and I have disagreed on something or have been distant for some reason, but when we cover our marriage in prayer, it’s as if the space between us all but vanishes. God is glorified, and we see each other through a new lens: a lens of peace, hope, and unconditional love. I want to share the acronym C.O.V.E.R I created that will help you to cover your marriage in prayer.

Pray with COMPASSION

The dictionary defines compassion as “a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by suffering or misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.” As you know, being a Christian does not prevent you from experiencing pain. There are times when your spouse may be suffering and the best way to love him/her is to extend compassion. This can be difficult when his/her suffering hurts you. Perhaps your spouse has become irritable, moody, or withdrawn. It can be difficult to see beyond your spouse’s negative behavior to the suffering he/she may be experiencing. This is why when you pray for your spouse, you should start with compassion. 

Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God has forgiven you.” Think about that for a moment. How are you treating your spouse in the midst of what he/she is suffering? Are you extending kindness and compassion, or are you holding grudges and unforgiveness?

Compassion and empathy are interconnected. They both communicate, “You are not alone, and I care about you.” How different would our marriages be if we would communicate this powerful truth? When you pray with compassion, the Lord will often show you the “why” behind the “what.” The Holy Spirit is the source of all wisdom and truth, and when we invite him into our pain, he reveals his heart toward us, which helps us to then extend that same heart to others. The first thing to remember when you go to pray for your marriage is to ask God to give you a heart of compassion and merciful love.

Pray in ONENESS

The purpose of marriage is to become one. Jesus taught this so clearly in Mark 10:8, “and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one flesh.” #Marriagegoals is a popular trend on social media, usually accompanied by pictures of happy couples on exotic vacations or basking in a loving embrace. But the goal of marriage is not simply to be happy, it is to be one. Your marriage is a living witness of the realness of who Jesus is. Again, Jesus taught and prayed, “I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me” (John 17:21, emphasis mine). While this was a prayer for all of his disciples, you and your spouse are included. Your Christian marriage is a light to unbelievers. 

Walking in oneness takes continuous humility. You’ve likely experienced miscommunication in your marriage at some point. That’s not the problem. The problem is when you refuse to humble yourself, see from your spouse’s perspective, and choose oneness over selfishness. Praying in oneness means you prioritize the greater purpose of your marriage above your preferences, offenses, and hang-ups.  Pray that you and your spouse will walk in oneness. As you and your spouse cover your marriage in prayer, get on the same page with God and become unified with his plan. When conflict arises, let go of the idea that you need to “win the fight,” get your point across, or have your way. When you pray for your marriage with oneness at the center, you will experience unity and intimacy like never before. 

Pray with VIGOR

Prayers for your marriage should be vigorous! We pray passionately for many things. How much more should the prayers for your marriage be full of effort, energy, and enthusiasm? But in reality, the Christian couples who do pray for their marriages often do so wearily when there has been disappointment or conflict that chisels away the desire to pray with passion. Isaiah 40:29 says, “He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” 

God gives strength to the weary. He is the one who gives you the power and energy to put in the effort. Prayer increases your strength! When you “cast your cares” on the Lord, he not only strengthens you but sustains you even in difficult seasons to enable you to endure. Trust his faithfulness, and as you pray in love, commitment, and vigor, God will deliver.

Cover Your Marriage in Prayer with EXPECTATION

“Can you believe God came through so quickly?!” My friend asked, excited about a new opportunity I had been given. 

“Yeah,” I replied. “I actually can believe it. I expected nothing less.” 

You see, when I pray for something, I actually believe it’s going to happen. I believe God hears and answers his children. I often talk about praying with expectation in the messages I share across various platforms. It’s time we all start to pray with faith, a confident expectation that God will answer, and not just “hope for the best.” When we go to the Lord, we go with a heart of expectation. God hears you when you pray and is willing to make moves on your behalf. 

When we cover our marriage in prayer, we should expect that God will deliver. Find some promises in His word to anchor your faith. One of my favorites is Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Pray for victory from a place of victory. When you pray, believe what you are praying for and watch God make himself known in the most magnificent ways.

Pray with READINESS

It’s one thing to pray with expectation; it’s another to be ready to do what God says when you pray. Prayer is a dialogue. First, you pray, then you get quiet and listen to hear what God has to say back to you.  Be ready for the Spirit of the Lord to guide you, even if it is something that you may not want to hear. Let’s say you are praying that your spouse will have a closer walk with the Lord. You want him/her to “encounter Jesus daily.” The Lord may speak to your heart and tell you to repent to your spouse for something you did but deemed insignificant.  Are you ready to obey what you hear? Usually, answered prayer is contingent upon your obedience.

As you cover your marriage in prayer, listen to get direction and then be ready to take action. Luke 11:28 says, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” If you want God to speak to you, then you need to be ready to obey. Simply pray from your heart and then listen to what God speaks back to you.

Finally, Jesus gave his disciples a “prescription” to pray that we know as the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6. A line from that prayer I find myself repeating often is “Your kingdom come, your will be done on Earth as it is in heaven” (vs. 10). I will often substitute “on Earth” with whatever entity needs the kingdom of God to come. For example, “Your kingdom come, your will be done in my marriage as it is in heaven” or “Your kingdom come, your will be done in my attitude as it is in heaven.” Pray the will of God to be done in your marriage. Prayer is powerful! Now is the time for you to C.O.V.E.R. your marriage in prayer. 

Originally published on August 5, 2024 at Christianity.com.

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]]> https://danache.com/5-ways-to-cover-your-marriage-in-prayer/feed/ 1 How Conflict Builds Connection in Marriage https://danache.com/how-conflict-builds-connection-in-marriage/ https://danache.com/how-conflict-builds-connection-in-marriage/#comments Thu, 12 Sep 2024 18:24:42 +0000 https://danache.com/?p=21775 Most people are conflict-avoidant, but conflict can build connection in marriage and become a tool to shape you.

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How Conflict Builds Connection in Marriage

Originally published as “The Sanctifying Power of Conflict” on Christianity.com 13 March 2024

“We need to talk.” This is the one phrase that causes nearly every husband to run for the hills. Can’t you hear the tension in that statement? Conflict can build connection but the fact is most men (and women, too) assume the “need” to talk is laced only with conflict. And the majority of people are conflict-avoidant, hence the mad dash from imminent danger. It’s the “flight” response in the fight, flight, or freeze method we learned about in middle school Science. The problem with running from marriage conflict, though, is we lose the benefit of maturing in our Christian faith and growing in our marriage. Rather than viewing conflict as a hindrance to harmony, Christian couples need to see how conflict builds connection and how we are called to embrace it as a discipleship tool that shapes us into the image of Christ.

how conflict can build connection

Harness Humility in Conflict: A Source of Connection

Marriage will test your humility like nothing else. Ever heard the marriage joke, “My wife says I’m a know-it-all. I told her I already knew that”? Pride constantly beckons us, especially when we’re in conflict. We see things our way. We want things to go as we planned. We believe our answer is right. One of Jesus’s most attractive qualities was his humility. The Bible says, “Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being . . . he humbled himself in obedience to God” (Philippians 2:7-8a, NLT). Where are you holding on to your “privilege” in marriage instead of lowering yourself in obedience to God? Is it more important to be right or righteous? You decide. 

Practice Patience

Patience is a virtue. It is also a fruit of the Spirit that is cultivated through the climate of conflict. When you don’t get your way right away, you should exercise patience towards your spouse instead of succumbing to frustration, irritation, or impatience. Colossians 3:12 encourages believers to “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience” (emphasis mine). Conflicts builds connection in marriage as you learn to wait. Patience is a gift you give your spouse, and it maintains unity and peace within your marriage.

Develop Discernment 

Some couples believe the less conflict they have in marriage, the healthier the marriage. However, this is not so. I often say that if a couple isn’t having conflict, someone is lying. Surely, internal conflicts are happening that may never see the light of day. Masking them only leads to bitterness and eventually resentment. 

The goal in marriage isn’t uniformity but unity. God does not want you to be a carbon copy of your spouse, his ideas, personality, or even preferences. The beautiful thing about marriage is when two very different people choose to live and love in unity. 

As conflict arises, you develop discernment about what truly matters and what (or who) is threatening the unity in your marriage. I often tell my marriage coaching clients, “Your spouse is not the problem; the problem is the problem.” We need discernment to see all the ways the Enemy is trying to wreak havoc in our homes. We need discernment to understand the root of the conflict instead of focusing on the symptoms of the conflict. Praying together when conflict arises is one of the best ways to develop discernment and foster stronger unity in your marriage. 

Conflict Builds Connection as You Learn to Listen

Most people can hear but many do not listen. Listening is a learned skill. The problem is most people listen to respond, not to understand. Jesus was an extraordinary listener. He listened to his disciples’ fears. He listened to the story of the woman at the well. He listened to the questions asked of him by the Pharisees. And he listens to you and me. When we seek to first understand our spouse, even in conflict, we are acting like Christ. Proverbs 18:13 reminds us “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame” (NIV). The next time conflict arises in your marriage, see how conflict can build connection and listen to understand where your spouse is coming from. Listen to find common ground. Listen to show grace where needed. Listen as Jesus did. 

Embrace Empathy

Empathy is a buzzword in culture today, but it’s also integrated with the life of Christ. Jesus showed great empathy for us—quite literally putting himself in our place. As conflict arises in your marriage, you will have the opportunity to put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. How must this feel for him/her? The key to genuine empathy is not asking, “What would I do if I were my spouse?” But rather asking, “What would my spouse do if they were in that situation?” 

Empathy isn’t about centering yourself, but about centering the other person. It’s about putting their perspective and feelings on display. Conflict builds connection in marriage as we practice empathy—the gateway to compassion, connection, and care in your marriage. Instead of avoiding conflict or suppressing emotions, embrace empathy by engaging your spouse in thought-provoking, genuine, and curious questions.  This builds trust and provides a safe environment for your spouse to be vulnerable and for you to model Christ.

Conflict often arises from misunderstandings or differing perspectives. This is why I created “Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict” as a way to help couples de-escalate arguments and find common ground.  Instead of focusing solely on proving your point, prioritize seeking understanding and respect for your spouse’s viewpoint. Proverbs 18:2 reminds us that “a fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” By actively practicing humility, patience, discernment, listening, and empathy, your marriage will be strengthened and you will better reflect the love, forgiveness, and grace of Christ to a world desperate to see his image reflected in genuine devotion.

For more encouragement for your marriage, be sure to check out my podcast Rebuilding US. how

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]]> https://danache.com/how-conflict-builds-connection-in-marriage/feed/ 6 Experiencing God’s Presence in the Ordinary Places https://danache.com/experiencing-gods-presence-in-the-ordinary-places/ https://danache.com/experiencing-gods-presence-in-the-ordinary-places/#comments Mon, 09 Sep 2024 18:06:29 +0000 https://danache.com/?p=21734 Some of us think we need to go on a silent, spiritual retreat to appropriately access the presence of God but the truth is, we can experience the presence of God in the most ordinary places and the most ordinary ways.

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Experiencing God’s Presence in the Ordinary Places

Here’s something my sparkly fingernails or the 12 throw pillows on my king-size bed might not tell you: I’m pretty a simple person. Not plain, but simple. I like the thought of elaborate things, but I’m already tired just thinking of creating all of that, so I opt for simple. I believe God likes simple. That’s why he most often shows up in the most ordinary ways like the hug from a faithful friend or the drooly, smile of a chubby-cheeked child.

God's presence ordinary ways

I’m currently reading the book The Ministry of Ordinary Places by Shannon Martin. In it, Shannon shares stories of how she and her family awakened to God’s presence in ordinary places like the faces of her neighbors. Her life was turned right-side up as she discovered a new layer of his goodness while ushering in a whole new life, trading her cozy, spacious farmhouse for a basic builder-grade dwelling in a low-income neighborhood. I almost put the book down after reading that part. We had just purchased a cozy, new white couch (complete with nine throw pillows) and I didn’t dare give God the chance to tell me to send it back. So far, he hasn’t.

What is changing my life about this book is the reminder of how simple it is to experience God’s presence in ordinary ways. We church folk have made it so complicated and have taught non-church folk our misguided methods. To the non-church folk reading this, I offer a sincere, long-overdue apology. God wants to be known, to be experienced, and to be treasured . . . joyfully. 

Some of us think we need to go on a silent, spiritual retreat to appropriately access the presence of God or we need to trek the trails on a nature walk in the wild, or that our lives need to be tidy and tenable before God graces us with his treasured time, but the truth is, we can experience the presence of God in the most ordinary places and the most ordinary ways. 

Experiencing God’s Presence Even When We’re Bad

My husband, Shaun, and I have successfully raised two out of four children. Two of the Williams kids have finally ascended into adulthood (though it’s not as fun as they’d hoped) while the jury’s still out on the remaining two kids we still have at home. Pray for us.  Shaun and I high-five each other every time one of our two adult kids levels up in some form of his or her life. Despite what our friends and family think, our oldest two kids aren’t “killin’ the game” because Shaun and I were such awesome parents. Their success is nothing short of the grace and goodness of God, plus a much-needed spanking every now and then (don’t call CPS; everyone is safe). 

One particular painful day of parenting, I stood in my bathroom, fuming over one of my children’s many mistakes while lamenting over my immature and insensitive response to said child. I wanted to be a good mom, I really did, but this “mom so hard” thing was actually hard.  If only it looked as effortless as they said on Instagram. 

My prayer at that moment sounded more like fussing. Shaun was safely away at work, so God would have to do.

“Why, oh why do I keep losing it, Lord?!” The question was more rhetorical than response-worthy. “I’m so sick of this!”

I leaned against my vanity, begging God to cleanse my heart of my angry antics once again. Suddenly, I heard a thud in my bedroom. I peeked around the corner, expecting to discover what, I didn’t know. The only thing that was out of place was a picture frame. Well, let’s be honest. Everything was out of place, but the new thing that was out of place was a picture frame. It lay on the floor beside the bookcase from whence it must’ve fallen. 

I was perplexed. That picture frame had never fallen off the shelf before. It had been tucked far back against my collection of Karen Kingsbury Christian romance novels. I picked up the frame, holding it between my pointer finger and thumb like a pinched napkin containing a dead spider. When I turned it over, the tears came unannounced. 

God's presence in ordinary ways

It was a picture of my littlest one, Collin. His chubby, four-year-old hands held up a sign as he stood in front of a tall tree outside of his preschool. The sign simply read, MY MOM IS GOOD. I lost it. Right there in my bedroom. All the shame and blame I had been wrestling with were washed away by streams of sad surrender. I certainly was not good. Yet at that moment, God’s presence flooded my heart in the simplest yet sweetest of ways. He was so very near. Always when I needed him most. Always in the most ordinary ways.

Taste and See 

If you know me, you know I love food . . . except for meat and dairy. No thanks. But all others are welcome. There is nothing like sharing a great meal with a great friend. You want them to savor in the goodness of whatever you’re having or you help yourself to the corners of the meal they’re having. This is what the psalmist must’ve had in mind when he wrote, “Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh the joys of those who put their trust in him” (Psalm 34:8).

God wants to be experienced and enjoyed. He wants his presence to be savored like a five-course meal. And let me tell you, it is oh, so good! 

When you taste and see, you will never again settle for the stoic, stagnant life of a “churchified” relationship with God. His presence is so much better than that low-hanging fruit. Look around you, wherever you are, whatever state of mind you’re in. Close your eyes or keep them wide open. God’s presence is near you. Reach out and grab onto him. He’ll wait just for you. 

 

 

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]]> https://danache.com/experiencing-gods-presence-in-the-ordinary-places/feed/ 1 Premarital Counseling: A Must-Have Wedding Gift https://danache.com/premarital-counseling-a-must-have-wedding-gift/ https://danache.com/premarital-counseling-a-must-have-wedding-gift/#comments Thu, 01 Feb 2024 01:43:47 +0000 https://danache.com/?p=21331 Premarital coaching, or premarital counseling, is the best wedding gift a couple can have. It helps couples prepare for marriage by addressing potential challenges and issues.

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Premarital Counseling: A Must-Have Wedding Gift 

Premarital coaching, or premarital counseling, is the best wedding gift a couple can have. It helps couples prepare for marriage by addressing potential challenges and issues they may face once married. Premarital coaching is a must-have for couples who are planning to get married, as it can help shield them from “surprises” and help them develop a stronger, healthier relationship, greatly increasing their chances of a successful marriage.

wedding ring and premarital counseling

Benefits of Premarital Counseling

There are several benefits to premarital counseling, including improved communication skills, more effective conflict resolution, an effective financial roadmap, and increased intimacy. By working with a qualified coach or counselor, couples can learn the skills needed for a happier and healthier marriage. Even healthy couples often report that communication is one of their biggest challenges. Premarital coaching helps couples learn to communicate honestly and effectively. Couples learn to share their feelings constructively rather than resorting to destructive “default” behaviors like silent treatment, blaming, shaming, or name-calling.

Another benefit of premarital coaching is that it can help couples identify potential issues or red flags that exist in their relationship. Coaching helps with developing strategies for addressing these issues before they become major problems in marriage. For example, a couple may learn how to navigate difficult financial situations, deal with conflicts over in-laws, and parenting styles, or discuss sensitive topics like religious differences and sexual preferences.

One of the key benefits of premarital counseling is that it can help couples build a strong foundation for their marriage. By addressing potential issues and problems before they arise, couples can create a shared vision and values for their relationship that will guide their future together.

Common Fears about Premarital Coaching 

Premarital coaching can elicit fear in some couples. Some couples prefer not to “stir the pot” or “open a can of worms” before getting married. While it may appear to be a good idea to steer clear of sensitive conversations before marriage, it is not wise. It is important to go into marriage with eyes wide open, fully aware of any potential challenges.

Honesty is essential for building any healthy relationship. By ignoring potential problems in a relationship, couples are setting themselves up for disaster. Another fear about premarital counseling is the couple might break up if certain issues come to light. Again, it is better to be honest and open before getting married than to find out damaging information after marriage. 

Needs and Expectations

Premarital counseling is essential for couples to develop a deeper understanding of each other’s needs, desires, and expectations. This, in turn, helps them build a more fulfilling and mutually satisfying relationship. This is how trust and intimacy are forged. When a couple learns to express and understand each other’s needs and expectations, it creates strong emotional unity that will consistently nurture the relationship. 

Couples can then develop a pathway for their future together. By exploring their shared vision and values, couples can create a roadmap for their marriage and set clear expectations for themselves and each other. This can help them stay focused on their shared goals and work together as a team to achieve them, rather than getting off track by selfish concerns or petty disagreements.

Why Coaching Is An Offensive Play

The best defense is a good offense. Premarital coaching helps couples to plan ahead rather than react defensively once problems occur. This is not to say that premarital coaching inoculates a couple from challenges. But rather, it helps them to get prepared before the marriage even starts. 

Finally, premarital coaching can help couples build a stronger sense of commitment to each other and their relationship. Once a couple invests time and resources into their coaching, they are less likely to bail on the marriage when trouble comes. 

All relationships have ups and downs, and marriage is no different. However, premarital counseling helps couples to weather these storms much better. The coach acts as a guide and is an important aspect of the couple’s support system, which is essential for a healthy relationship. Healthy couples build a network of support that can help them navigate difficult times and provide them with the resources they will need to build a successful marriage.

In conclusion, premarital coaching is an extremely valuable necessity for couples who are planning to get married. By helping couples develop stronger communication skills, deeper connection, and increased intimacy, premarital counseling can help couples build a lasting foundation for their marriage, increase their fulfillment in marriage, and create a deep and lasting unity that will sustain their relationship for a lifetime. 

If you are planning to get married, schedule a discovery call today to help you prepare for this exciting new chapter in your life.

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Spiritual Warfare Prayer (the Armor of God) 

praying the armor of god

Spiritual warfare is a given in the life of the Christian. We need not fear when the devil roars like a lion (I Peter 5:8) but we must know and use the armor of God to resist him. This spiritual warfare prayer is a great way to embrace what God has given us to walk in daily victory by putting on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-17).

 

Lord Jesus, I thank you for giving me power of the kingdom of darkness in your name. I now follow your command to put on the full armor of God because I know that my battle is not against flesh and blood but against rulers, authorities, the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the unseen world. Thank you that you have made it possible for me to be strong in your mighty power and to stand against all that the evil one would throw against me this day.

In Jesus Name, I put on the belt of truth and pray that I may be centered in and encircled by your truth today. By your power, enable me to walk in your truth and to give no place to deception or the lies of the enemy. Protect me by the truth of your Word.

I put on the breastplate of righteousness. I praise you, Lord Jesus, that I am covered with your righteousness today in my body, soul and spirit. I now pray that by the power of the Holy Spirit, my life would show forth the righteous fruit of Your presence. Guard my heart, for it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23). Strengthen and protect the most vulnerable places in my life with that which is right, good and noble so I might not receive a fatal blow from the enemy.

I put on the shoes of peace. I choose to stand on the firm foundation of Jesus Christ and the good news of his amazing grace. In Jesus’ name, I claim over my heart and mind the peace of God that transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7). I cast down every anxious thought today, and as I walk in the gospel of peace, I pray that you would make me ready to share your good news with others.

I take up the shield of faith this day and in your name, I extinguish every dart and arrow by which the enemy would seek to take me down spiritually, physically, mentally, or emotionally. I lift the shield of faith against every arrow directed at me, my family, my business, my possessions, or any part of my domain. I bind every fearful thought in Jesus’ name and choose rather to walk by faith and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).

I put on the helmet of salvation and pray that you would protect my mind from thoughts that could lead me astray. I choose to take every thought captive to Jesus Christ and to reject any thought that is not from You (2 Corinthians 10:5). Transform my mind by the power of your Word and grant me a hope-saturated mind so that I may truly overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13). This day, in the name of Jesus, I bind and refuse all depressed, despairing, and defeated thinking.

Finally, I take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Please give me the insight, wisdom, and revelation to wield your Word skillfully against every scheme of the enemy. Thank you that your Word on my lips has the power to defeat every attack of the enemy!

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for equipping me with everything I need to win my battles this day! I praise you that I am protected today by the armor of God. I now claim your promise that no weapon formed against me shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17). In Jesus’ mighty name, amen!

– -adapted from Northwoods Church

 

As you pray this spiritual warfare prayer, anticipate the enemy to push back. But be not afraid! The Lord your God is with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9). 

HOME

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A Prayer for Singles Wanting to Be Married

single wanting to get married prayer

Are you single yet desire to do relationships God’s way? This singles prayer will help you to express your desire to be married to the Lord as you wait patiently for his timing.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before you today as a single man/woman who desires to find a committed and godly life partner. Your Word assures us in Proverbs 18:22 that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. I trust in your divine timing and guidance as I am seeking a spouse.

In Psalm 37:4, you promise that when we delight ourselves in you, you will give us the desires of our hearts. I pray that I will trust you as I yearn for a spouse and that you will grant me the desires of my heart in accordance with your perfect will.

Help me to be patient as I trust in your plans, as Jeremiah 29:11 assures that you have plans for us, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give us a future and a hope. Help me to persevere in faith as I wait for the right person according to your divine timing.

I will seek first your kingdom and righteousness, as Matthew 6:33 teaches, knowing that when I prioritize you, all other things will be added unto me, including a godly spouse. Strengthen my faith and reliance on you in this season of waiting.

Grant me wisdom to discern the qualities of a godly spouse, as outlined in Proverbs 31 and other relevant scriptures. I will not be unequally yoked but find someone who shares my biblical faith and values.

Finally, I pray for a spirit of contentment and fulfillment in my singleness. Remind me, as the apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:7, that each has our own gift from God—one in this manner and another in that. Help me to embrace the unique gifts and opportunities that come with this season.

I trust in your sovereign plan and know that you are a God who cares deeply for the desires of my heart. May your will be done in my life, and may I continue to find my joy and fulfillment in you.

In Jesus’ name, I pray.

Amen.

© Dana Che Williams

 

Check out premarital counseling when the time is right. 

 

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A Prayer for Your Marriage

prayer for your marriage

Prayer is essential to a Christian marriage. Pray this marriage prayer to invite God’s grace and goodness into your marriage. 

Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before you with a grateful heart, acknowledging that you are the author of love and marriage. Your Word teaches us in Genesis 2:24 that a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Lord, I seek your guidance and blessings upon my marriage.

Proverbs 18:22 reminds us that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. I thank you for the gift of my wife (or allowing me to be a wife). Help my spouse and me to cherish and honor each other, growing together in love and understanding.

Grant us the wisdom described in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, where two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. May our union be a source of strength, support, and encouragement for one another. Bind us together with a cord that cannot be easily broken.

In times of challenge, may we turn to your promises. Jeremiah 29:11 assures us that you have plans for us, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give us a future and a hope. Help us to trust in your plan for our marriage, knowing that you are always with us.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 teaches us about the qualities of love – patience, kindness, not being easily angered, and always persevering. Lord, fill our hearts with your love so that we may reflect these qualities in our relationship.

Finally, we ask for your blessing on our home. Psalm 127:1 reminds us that unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. May our marriage be built on the solid foundation of your love and grace.

We pray all these things in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ.

Amen.

© Dana Che Williams

 

Learn more about marriage coaching here. 

 

ALSO SEE:

5 Prayers to Pray for Your Wife 

5 Prayers to Pray for Your Husband

 

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]]> https://danache.com/marriage-prayer/feed/ 4 5 Reasons You Need a Marriage Coach https://danache.com/5-reasons-you-need-a-marriage-coach/ https://danache.com/5-reasons-you-need-a-marriage-coach/#comments Thu, 21 Dec 2023 18:52:19 +0000 https://danache.com/?p=21106 Are you considering working with a marriage coach because you’ve been having some issues in your marriage? Love conquers all, but sometimes even the strongest marriages can hit a rough patch.

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5 Reasons You Need a Marriage Coach

married couple in mariage coaching

Are you considering working with a marriage coach because you’ve been having some issues in your marriage? Marriage is a beautiful relationship that requires effort, patience, and commitment. However, as much as we would like to think that love conquers all, there are times when even the strongest marriages can hit a rough patch. Though we’d all love to be able to fix our problems, if we’re honest, we realize we need wisdom and support from an unbiased perspective. This is where a marriage coach can help.

A marriage coach is a professional who provides guidance and support to couples who are struggling with their relationship. Whether you are experiencing communication issues, trust issues, or any other challenges that are affecting your marriage, a marriage coach can help you successfully navigate through these challenges and come out stronger.

Here are some of the benefits of marriage coaching and how to improve your marriage in the process: 

 

1. Improved Communication

One of the most common reasons couples seek the help of a marriage coach is to improve their communication. Effective communication is the key to a successful marriage, and a marriage coach can help you and your partner learn how to communicate more positively and effectively.

A marriage coach can help you identify patterns of negative communication, such as criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt. They can also help you develop new communication skills, such as active listening, constructively expressing your needs and emotions, and learning how to resolve conflicts peacefully.

 

2. Increased Self-Awareness

A marriage coach can also help you and your partner become more self-aware. Self-awareness is the foundation of personal growth and can help you understand yourself better, identify your strengths and weaknesses, and take responsibility for your actions.

By working with a marriage coach, you can gain a better understanding of your emotional triggers and how they affect your relationship. This can help you develop better-coping mechanisms and avoid behaviors that may be detrimental to your relationship.

 

3. Strengthened Trust

Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and a good coach can help you and your partner build and strengthen trust. If trust has been broken in your marriage, a coach can help you work through the emotions and create a plan to rebuild trust.

A marriage coach can also help you identify areas where trust may be lacking and develop strategies to improve trust. This can include setting clear expectations, improving communication, and being consistent in your actions.

LISTEN TO: How we rebuilt trust in our marriage. 

marriage coaching trust building

4. Improved Problem-Solving Skills

Every marriage will face challenges and problems at some point. A marriage coach can help you and your spouse develop problem-solving skills that can help you navigate through these challenges. 

A coach can teach you how to approach problems constructively, identify the root causes of the problem, and work together to find a solution. This can help you avoid the destructive patterns that can lead to arguments and conflicts.

There is also a benefit in problem-solving in community, which is why group coaching programs are on the rise. Thrive Wives group coaching is for women who want to enjoy the best of both worlds: community and coaching. 

 

5. Enhanced Intimacy

Intimacy is an essential part of any romantic relationship, but it can be difficult to maintain over time. A marriage coach can help you and your spouse develop strategies to enhance intimacy in your relationship. And let’s be clear: intimacy is more than sex. 

Holistic intimacy includes improving communication, increasing physical touch, and exploring new ways to connect. A coach can also help you address any issues that may be affecting your intimacy, such as stress, anxiety, fear, or physical health issues.

In conclusion, a marriage coach can help you and your partner improve your relationship in many ways. From improving communication to enhancing intimacy, a coach can provide guidance and support that can help you build a stronger, healthier, and more fulfilling relationship. If you are experiencing challenges in your marriage, there is no need to struggle any longer. 

The time is now for you to start working with a marriage coach who will help you navigate through these challenges and come out stronger on the other side.

Schedule your free discovery coaching call today.

Schedule Your Call

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