Dancing Branflakes

Journals and Dealing with Conflict

2013-05-24T00:41:00.002-07:00

This week has been emotionally traumatic. Oh goodness, I'm sounding very drah-mah-tic right now, but those are the best words I have to describe it. It was one thing after another of emotional slaps in the face. At one point I said to a friend, "Something in my life has to change. I have to change, because I can't keep going on like this."

And then I hurt myself at the gym and everything changed. I stumbled while doing box jumps and felt a snap in my lower back. Thursday morning I woke up barely able to move. I quickly messaged my longtime friend, who happens to be a wonderful massage therapist, and said, "Help!" She came over and I told her what was going on, physically and emotionally. We spoke of Chakras, energy, and trying to help ourselves so we can better help others. She then gave the most wonderful two hour full body massage and I can't tell you how guilty/wonderful I felt.

During the massage she said, "You really should think about keeping a journal. I know you blog, but you're stuffing too much inside and you need to let it out somehow."

Good point. I am horrible at keeping a journal. Quite frankly, it's a tedious task to not only write down thoughts, but do so in a thoughtful and articulate way; it's much easier to let things pass and push them aside instead of dealing with uncomfortable feelings. Not only that, it feels oddly self-indulgent to talk about my feelings when I feel as if I'm talking all day long.

But I realized I'm short changing my life by not reflecting upon it, so my goal is to write in my journal everyday. If only one line or one word, it needs to become a habit, a habit that will hopefully help me look at my weaknesses, flaws, strengths, and loves with honesty and humility.

Do you keep a journal?

If you're in the Sacramento area, my friend, Courtney, is awesome and does Reiki as well as massage.

Also, Courtney referred me to a chiropractor who diagnosed me with a popped out ligament.

I'm healing but I'll be okay.

On Empowering Students and Empowering Yourself

2013-05-21T01:10:00.001-07:00

There are some things as teachers that grate on our nerves. We all have our own different pet peeves, and this is mine:

Someone in class demonstrates an exercise, I give corrections and/or compliments, and someone else raises their hand and says, "I couldn't see any of that."

I then tell them they should have moved sooner so they could see it.

Why does this bother me so much? It frustrates me when students aren't proactive in their learning, and instances like that one are a manifestation of a greater problem in education:

Students are not taking charge of their learning and, I dare say, their lives.

Empowerment = Taking Responsibility
I've been thinking non-stop about the idea of empowerment. I've been wondering about how some students expect their teachers cater to them and how in doing so, they lose opportunities to empower themselves, to be the driver in their lives. And I guess that's why instances like the one above annoys me so much: it's obvious some students aren't accustomed to taking responsibility, so the thought never occurs to them that the they have the power to fix the problem.

Of course, I'm placing judgement on them (I have no idea what their lives are like), but the answer to their solutions was so blatantly obvious (move so they can see), that to this day I'm wondering how they approach everyday problems in their lives.

Sometimes I wanted to over dramatically tell my students, "Having people solve your problems in life takes away your power to live it!"

Empowerment means not waiting to be taught things.
There are students who wait to be taught things. Another annoying thing to hear in the classroom is: "Well, no one ever taught me, so I never learned." That's an excuse, not a solution. In my classroom, we focus on the latter because the latter opens more doors of opportunity.

Empowerment Creates Fearlessness
Some students are scared to try new things. I see their hesitation and questions become their crutch.

One of the most annoying things about teaching is when I teach a new step and a hundred questions pop up before they try it. I say, "Try to figure it out and if you have questions, then ask them. But don't ask for help before you even try." Doing this helps cognitive reasoning, problem solving, and accountability for actions. But, above else, it gives a person confidence to move forward with empowerment and a stronger sense of self; they know they have the ability to independently create the outcome they desire and take risks while doing so.

Am I Empowering Myself?

And then I have to ask myself, "Ah crap, am I empowering myself? Am I problem solving independently? Am I practicing my beliefs?" As a teacher, we never ask our students to do things we won't do ourselves, so teaching inherently makes me look at myself honestly and, consequently, humbles me as I see my own weaknesses.

So I'm trying my hardest to take responsibility in problem solving, be proactive in my learning, and move forward with fearlessness. And, just like any other attribute, I can't rely on outside sources to empower me, I have to find the strength from within.

What does empowerment mean to you?

photos by the wonderful Dane Shitagi of Ballerina Project

A Weekend to Remember

2013-05-20T00:01:00.001-07:00

This past weekend was my last in Sacramento, so I made sure I fit everything in I could. From eating macaron ice cream sandwiches to going to a baseball game and meeting one of the players, it was definitely a weekend to remember.

Left: Salted Caramel Macaron Ice Cream Sandwich from Ginger Elizabeth's.
It was so huge and so delicious.
Right: I'm wearing Target head to toe. Don't act like that doesn't happen to you.

I saw my good friend, Cole Dutcher, play at Concert in the Park.
He always puts on a good show... cray cray facial expressions.

I emceed a fashion show and a lady gave me a lei as a thank you gift.
I got lei'd. Hee hee.

My friends swore to me that Nationwide Freezer Meats has the best hamburgers in Sacramento.
I couldn't leave my hometown without trying it once. Verdict? Amazing but it needed more cheese.
But I have a feeling most things in life need more cheese.

I went to a Sacramento River Cats game with some of my best friends.
We ate cotton candy, roasted peanuts, garlic fries, and Dip N Dots.
I'm going to miss nights like this the most.

And then I met one of the players.
I know I know... I look like a really awkward fan, but I was really excited.
It was a perfect way to end a fun-filled weekend.

If you had one last weekend to spend in your hometown,

what would you do?

Finding Lovely Places

2013-05-17T00:02:00.000-07:00

The last time I was in Virginia, Mr. Branflake told me he had a surprise for me. He took my hand and led me to this beautiful space. As we walked through the wooded glen, he kept asking, "Do you like it? I hope you like it." Of course I liked it, but I was too speechless to say anything.

When we approached the lake, I was suddenly transported back to the Scottish Highlands. "They're called lochs in Scotland," I told him. He's heard all about those beautifully green Highlands and I'm sure that's why he knew I would fall in love with our new running trail. He's honestly concerned I won't like living in Virginia and is hoping if he keeps finding places like this, I'll feel better about moving.

Silly man. I'd happily move anywhere for him.

Happy Friday, my friends.

I hope you find some lovely places this weekend.

Spaghetti Squash Tips / Making It Taste Good

2013-05-16T00:09:00.000-07:00

Spaghetti squash seems to be all over Pinterest-land. Yesterday, I tried cooking it for the first time and, although it was good, it was much different than I expected. People say it's a good replacement for pasta, but they're lying. Nothing can replace pasta. Nothing. But I still like it for what it is (not pasta), and am anxious to try different recipes with it.

In case anyone hasn't tried it before, here are a few things I learned about spaghetti squash:

1. Baking it is super easy.

To prep the squash, I set the oven to 400 F, lined a baking pan with foil, and sprayed the foil to prevent sticking. I placed the squash so the meat was facing up, and seasoned it with salt and pepper. I put it in the oven for an hour, or until the meat was tender to touch.

2. Cutting it is not.

The recipe said to cut the squash in half, but that was ridiculously hard. I put it in the microwave for a minute to soften it. That helped a little. I still had to carefully muscle my way through and am ~~wondering~~ hoping there's a safer way. Do you guys bake it first then cut it?

3. Don't worry- the noodles are there.

After the squash baked for an hour, I took out the pan and was like, "Uh... where are the noodles? I see some, but not a lot." I started digging and realized the entire thing was noodles. (That was a palm to forehead moment). The best method to get them out was with a big spoon and to scoop the meat out like you would an avocado. Make sure you take out the seeds on top, because those are not fun to chomp on.

4. Season correctly.

This was the most surprising thing about spaghetti squash. Spaghetti squash is sweet, so I needed to season it with savory flavors to make it a more satisfying meal. Once I scooped out the meat and put it in a bowl, I squeezed a whole lemon on top and seasoned it with salt and pepper before tossing it in pesto. I made the mistake of adding roasted tomatoes. Tomatoes are sweet, especially when roasted, so putting them with the already sweet squash created an imbalance of flavors.

5. It's light in calories, but you can't eat a lot of it.

I literally had visions of me eating a big bowl of it with pesto like I do with my pasta. But after a few bites, I was already full. That makes sense since it's a vegetable and is full of fiber and wholesome goodness. I probably should be grateful I found a food that satisfies me so quickly (when does that ever happen?)

6. I'll be back.

Now that I know what to expect, I already have a few recipes in mind and I'm excited for this new vegetable. I have no idea what took me so long to hop on the spaghetti squash bandwagon, but I'm glad I did.

How do you like your spaghetti squash?

Moving On / Giveaway Winner

2013-05-14T23:12:00.002-07:00

I just bought a one-way flight to Virginia. I leave June 5th. My heart is heavy to leave my friends and family, but there's a certain amount of relief that I finally have a firm date of when I'm leaving. The sooner I get there, the sooner I can get settled. That and I can finally get my nightly back rubs back.

Here's an excerpt of a recent conversation I had with my class. It'll give you a glimpse into what it's like teaching dance at a university.

Student: "Professor, can we have extra-extra credit if we go to this performance?"

Me: "What part of me would make you think I would say yes to that question? Out of everything we've been through this semester, what would make you believe I'm a type of teacher who would give extra-extra credit? Do you even know me? I can't help but feel you don't know me at all. I'm a little hurt. Let's not hurt my feelings anymore."

They all laughed, but no extra-extra credit was given.

Wednesday is my last day of teaching at the university. I cannot tell you how sad I am to be leaving the best job I ever had. I loved it. You know how some people bring out your best self? Teaching there brought out the best teacher in me.

Speaking of moving on, I have an audition set up for a modern company in Virginia. I had also planned to run a 10K that morning with Mr. Branflake's firm. I told him I could handle both, but he made an executive decision and told them I wouldn't be doing the run. "We gotta take extra good care of you" he said. "I know this auditions means a lot to you." And that was that. I was shocked he was so bold. Shocked but also turned on.

Even my independent spirit couldn't resist an alpha man who wanted to take care of me.

So, I'm moving across the country, but I also have plans to fly back to California in July, August, and September for family events and a very very special event that I'm not quite ready to reveal. I will soon... once I drum up the nerve.

For those new to the blog, my husband lives in Virginia and I live in California due to both of us getting our dream jobs at the same time. But we're finally going to live together again! And I don't have to do laundry anymore!

The winner of the Shabby Apple Giveaway is Gina Wildorchid!

Happy Hump Day!

You all deserve a big hug for making it this far ~~this week~~ in life!

Do You Handle Stress Well? / The Humbling Realization I Don't

2013-05-12T22:22:00.001-07:00

I learned something about stress this week.

I don't handle it well.

Which surprised me because I always thought I did. From childhood to adult, I enjoyed being busy and loved the challenge of thriving through opposition.

But recently, I realized odd things happen when I'm stressed. If you follow me on Twitter, you'll know that on a drive home, I ended up in the wrong city (actually, it was the wrong county).

When I'm stressed, I have no appetite and have to convince myself to eat. I am utterly exhausted even though I get enough sleep and keep dozing off in the most random places. And the brain farts. Oh! The brain farts. Have you ever put Kleenex in the refrigerator? I have. And it gets real cold.

So I realized, even though I handle stressful situations well (meaning I get done what needs to get done), I don't necessarily handle stress well. I have this habit of looking at my life and thinking, "Wow. I can't believe I endured all that," and get all smug about how I pulled through during the craziest of times. But I don't think about the sicknesses that followed, the lapses in judgement, and all the things I forgot along the way.

Granted, I think a certain level of stress is good. It increases productivity and a wonderful sense of urgency. But how do we find inner peace through stressful times so we don't end up in the wrong city or have to search the entire house to find a Kleenex box in the refrigerator?

I don't know. I wish I did. I run, I pray, I read... all great stress relievers. But I think admitting this weakness of not handling stress well is the crucial part. Hopefully, it'll force me to look at myself honestly and recognize when I need to calm the heck down.

Hopefully.

Do you handle stress well?

If so, care to share tips on how you do it?

Jump for Joy Friday / Celebrating

2013-05-10T21:54:00.000-07:00

photo by Keely Kay

You GUYS! It's wedding season! What better way to kick off this time of celebration than to feature this awesome blogger? Her name is Holly and she blogs over at Jacksons in Action. She's my hero and a game show junkie. I mean, she watches them, but, more impressively, she GOES on them.

When I first met her, she was like, "Watch Wipe Out on Thursday night. I'll be on it!" If you watch Wipe Out, then you'll recognize her as "Whistle Girl." She was thisclose to winning the grand prize, too! They asked her back to be on the All Stars episode, but she was preggo at the time and couldn't do it. But maybe again sometime soon?

Anyway, she's awesome. This photo exemplifies her enthusiasm for life and positive attitude. She also likes to eat Thai and Greek food with me. Or, she did until she moved away. That was a very sad day.

What's making me jump for joy today?
Tomorrow morning I'm headed to Ginger Elizabeth's (a local chocolate shop) for some elaborate ice cream sundaes. Then I'm doing a few tours of some mansions in Sacramento. That evening, my friend's band, The Decibels, is having a reunion show and they'll be playing at Bows and Arrows at seven (join me if you're in the area!)

And then, most importantly, Sunday morning I'm heading to my mom's to celebrate Mother's Day with her. Out of all the fun things I'm doing this weekend, I'm looking forward to that one the most.

What's making you jump for joy today?

If you want to be featured, email me a jumping photo at dancingbranflake at gmail.com

I'm also giving away a Shabby Apple Gift certificate.

Don't say I never did anything for you.

Word.

Charming Minimalism / What Kind of Blogs Do You Like?

2013-05-08T22:35:00.001-07:00

The minute Mr. Branflake and I got out of our car and into the streets of Old Town Alexandria, I said, "I need carbs and they need to be white." And that's how we found this sweet spot.

In previous posts, I spoke about the allure and effectiveness of over the top decor, like the Marie Antoinette-like chocolate shop I visited in St. Helena, CA. And then I contrasted that with the stripped bare decor of that bakery in San Juan Bautista, and how the quality of goods spoke for itself without lavishness.

While walking around Old Town Alexandria this past weekend, I stumbled across a cupcake store that had the perfect balance of both. Occasionally Cake had the kind of decor I call charming minimalism. Fancy, but not too much. Simple, but thematic.

I know what you're all thinking- How were the cupcakes?

Delicious. We split a Mexican Hot Chocolate cupcake and it hit the spot. It was flavorful, not too sweet, and exactly what I was craving. But it wasn't the best cupcake I've ever had. No, that title belongs to Sweet Lobby in DC. But despite that, I plan on going back to Occasionally Cake repeatedly because of the atmosphere; it was balanced, so I felt balanced.

Does that make any sense at all?

For example: I walked in, completely irritated by a foot injury and needing to pee in the most horrific way. But as soon as I saw the loveliness around me, I whipped out my camera and started snapping away, completely forgetting about my bum foot and pea-sized bladder.

Charming minimalism can do that to you. It can subtly inspire and calm you simultaneously.

And bringing it back to blogging, the blogs I enjoy are the exact same way; they calm my soul yet excite my spirit.

What kind of blogs do you like?

Enter my Shabby Apple Giveaway or so help me I will never have a giveaway ever again!

(I like to be dramatic about my giveaways.)

Shabby Apple Giveaway and Ryan Gosling

2013-05-07T21:32:00.002-07:00

Sometimes Shabby Apple is awesome and emails bloggers to say, "Hey! Here's a $50 gift certificate to our store to giveaway on your blog!" and I'm like, "Gimme! Gimme!"

Now, for those who don't know, Shabby Apple is an online dress boutique that specializes in vintage and retro dresses that appeal to the Jackie O in me hard core. I'm very much into the modest/lady-like look and I know many of you are, too. What's more, their fit guides and comments sections have saved me from doing the whole "get it in the mail and return it the next day because it doesn't fit me" online dance.

And it's freaking summer! Hello summer dresses!

How to enter:

~Follow me on GFC (the link is on the right-hand sidebar) or Bloglovin.

~Like Shabby Apple on Facebook

(There are so many of these Shabby Apple contests, so if you haven't "liked" them by now, I recommend just doing it. You only have to do it once!)

~Leave a comment below telling me you did so.

~Contest ends Sunday, May 12

~Winner will be chosen randomly and will receive a $50 Gift Card to Shabby Apple

And don't make this a lame giveaway where only ten people enter.

Because that would suck. And then I'd have to have a "Hey Girl" meme created to console me.

via Pinterest. Where on Pinterest? Oh, everywhere.
Just search for Ryan Gosling Giveaway.

With this Ring Dress (left) can be found here.

Peony dress (right) can be found here.

Old Town Alexandria / This Is My Future and My Past

2013-05-06T23:41:00.002-07:00

There were tons of lovely restaurants to choose from, but we settled on the Old Wharf, mostly because I wanted to eat outside, the tables had white linens, and the waiters wore bow ties. I got the lobster crab burger with Old Bay Seasoning fries. Divine!

Sometimes you just need to explore and embrace being a tourist.

Take, for example, this past weekend. We had planned on doing a walking tour of Old Town Alexandria. The area is historic. Not in the European historic where places are older than Jesus, but American historic where a building dated 1774 warrants a plaque. And I like that.

Anyway, we ended up completely forgetting about the walking tour because by the time we got to the area, I had to pee and eat and the last thing on my mind was a walking tour. Nature beats history, apparently. Regardless, we had a perfect day strolling along the cobble stone streets and charming store fronts, hand in hand, and wondering if we would ever live in one of those multi-million dollar town homes (the answer to that is no).

Occasionally I would geek out and say, "Our Founding Fathers walked on these very streets!" And then I'd get all camera happy and try to picture the cobble stone roads filled with horses and dust. I thought about the men and women who lived in those houses and helped establish America. It felt very much like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. (If you haven't seen that film, then you are not American. If you really aren't American, then I'll excuse you.)

Sometimes I felt a bit embarrassed that I looked so touristy: big camera, over-enthusiastic smiling, and a molasses pace that I'm sure annoyed everyone around me. But then a little voice kept repeating in my head: "This is your future. But more importantly, this is your past. Be grateful you have an opportunity to live here."

We should all be grateful for where we live, but to be so close to where my nation was founded makes me all sorts of happy. I don't know how long we'll be living in Virginia, but I have a feeling no matter what, I'll always act like a tourist.

Do you ever act like a tourist where you live?

The Kentucky Derby, Eating Out Less, and Iron Man

2013-05-05T22:26:00.003-07:00

After over-analyzing to death where I should get my hat, I finally bought a Nine West one at DSW.
I'm just a little obsessed with orange right now.

Whew! What a fantastic weekend!

I flew in late Wednesday night, just in time to wish Mr. Branflake a happy anniversary before the clock rang in the new day. The Kentucky Derby party was fabulous and I think we made a few more friends in the area (fingers crossed!)

I have a goal to eat out less, so over the weekend I made braised chicken and a hearty black bean soup. I discovered a new favorite snack of whole wheat toast, cream cheese, and strawberries, and have learned the beauty of cooking with coconut oil (we are sooo going to talk about coconut oil in the next few days, ps.)

So, all in all, it was a pretty amazing weekend.

Did you have a fun weekend?

Anyone else watch the Kentucky Derby?

And we saw Iron Man. Just so you know, there's an extra scene at the end of the credits. I laughed.

Jump for Joy Friday / Kentucky Derby Weekend

2013-05-03T04:39:00.001-07:00

dress Capezio, boots c/o Lulu*s (I'm obsessed with them), photo by Tom Huynh

Thank you for all your sweet sweet comments this week. It's been a little crazy, so your loving words has definitely made a few gray skies blue. And being out here in Virginia is just what the doctor ordered.

So... what am I jumping for joy about today?

I'm going to a Kentucky Derby party Saturday night! Mr. Branflake thinks it's the funniest thing how excited I am about party this, but who couldn't jump for joy about cute dresses, lavish hats, and Derby food?

What are you jumping for joy about today?

The Perfect Gift

2013-05-01T08:57:00.003-07:00

Maui 2006.
We were babies!

Apparently pottery is the appropriate gift for a nine year anniversary. So... I guess Mr. Branflake and I are going to Pottery Barn?

Just kidding. For my anniversary present to him, I'm flying out to Virginia to visit. Actually, it's more of a gift for me than for him. I miss him a lot.

So yeah... that's the perfect gift. Each other.

I hope you have a wonderful day full of love!
And Happy Anniversary, Mr. Branflake!

On the Blog: Mr. Branflake

2013-04-30T06:28:00.001-07:00

We might joke that the only thing in common we have is our sense of humor and religion, but let's be honest- we also both can't take a good photo together.

In honor of our nine year anniversary tomorrow, I asked Mr. Branflake if he could answer a few questions for the blog about our marriage. Actually, the email went like this, "You are going to answer these questions for the blog. Thanks."

Because I'm a considerate wife like that.

_____________________________________________

Me: What has been the most fun part about being married?

Mr. Branflake: Hmm. It's tough to pick just one. I would say being together during the "bookends" of the day. As much as we live hectic lives, I am glad for the times we wake up and go to bed together.

Me: What was the most surprising thing about marriage?

Mr. Branflake: How much I have enjoyed marriage. When we were engaged I got a lot of advice along the lines of "Don't expect the honeymoon to last forever," and "Marriage is tough but you have to just keep going." So I spent a lot of time during our first years of marriage wondering to myself, "So when does this marriage thing stop being fun and start being lame?" But it hasn't so far. It's been great.

Me: What's it like being married to a dancer?

Mr. Branflake: I've come to learn that a dancer has a love of the art that springs from a deep, deep place. As I have watched your career, I've learned that being a dancer takes a lot of practice, a lot of guts, and a lot of perseverance. A person only goes through that if she really, truly, loves to dance.

Me: What's it like being married to a blogger?

Mr. Branflake: I could write a dissertation on this topic! Honestly, it's great. I've loved reading and exploring your blog, just like your readers. I've loved meeting some of your blogging friends. There are sacrifices, sure. The camera is our constant companion to any outing. A meal made by a delicious new recipe gets to my mouth a little lukewarm because before we can eat there are pictures to be taken. Just like your readers, I have to sometimes wait and read the blog to learn the next big announcement. But all that aside, I have loved your blog from day one.

Me: If you could take me anywhere, where would it be?

Mr. Branflake: Scotland. You love Scotland and I would love to see it with you. I was at an art show this weekend and they had a booth by this Scottish artist. I didn't tell you earlier because you would have exploded with rage that you couldn't see it. That's how much I know you love Scotland.

Me: What do you love most about me?

Mr. Branflake: Everything. Period.

It's your turn!

Do you have a question for Mr. Branflake?

Thank you for all your supportive comments on Friday's post. Mr. Branflake and I were talking about the depth and thoughtfulness from you and how humbling it is to have you in our lives.

Thank you.

A Lesson on Service

2013-04-26T00:02:00.001-07:00

Cookies by my mama. They are the best I've ever had.

Yesterday I received a bit of tough news. For a while I sat next to my bed, wondering if I was dreaming, hoping it was all a bad joke. Luckily, I was supposed to drive to the bay to meet my mom for lunch at her house and, at that moment, there wasn't anywhere else I wanted to be.

I don't like talking about things until I'm ready, so I didn't mention anything to my mother. If she sensed something was wrong, she didn't say anything. Instead, she doted on me like she usually does: making me a hot sandwich, cutting it in a diagonal, giving me a bowl for my chips, and handing me a water bottle. In fact, at one point she saw me picking off the crust and asked, "Do you not like crust? Why didn't you tell me? I would have cut the crust for you!" She's that sweet.

We chatted about my upcoming trips to Virginia and Southern California, her chemo treatments and hair regrowth (her eyebrows are back!), and how to get a good deal on a rental car. When I left, she handed me a bag of Trader Joe goodies and slipped me a twenty dollar bill while her husband wasn't looking (heh). She also gave me the plate of cookies above. I left her home centered. Stronger.

Those few hours I spent with her taught me a valuable lesson about service. Sometimes when I notice someone feeling down, I immediately want to cheer them up and talk about it. But yesterday my mother taught me that helping others doesn't necessarily mean helping their problems; giving them love, attention, and someone to show them they care might be all they need from you. In fact, sometimes that's all that can be given.

I'm taking that lesson on service with me forever.

How has someone helped you recently?

My mom says the cookies are from Cook's Illustrated, but I can't find the recipe on the internet.
I'll do a little more research and get back to you.

Capturing Charm / Trusting Your Instincts

2013-04-24T22:11:00.002-07:00

The last time I was on the East Coast, Mr. Branflake and I took a stroll around DC's Foggy Bottom before heading to the ballet. I was completely charmed. We were completely charmed. Old townhouses with scalloped trim and sweet fences lined the street like a scene from 18th century England. Although I was quite photo happy, none of them did the quaint neighborhood justice.

I just couldn't capture its charm.

I've been thinking a lot lately about capturing qualities, particularly in photographs. Charming, delicate, confident, heavy, sweet, bold, mysterious, joyfulness. Qualities are different than emotions; they're distinguishable character traits that put things into perspective. Qualities are powerful; they can change a photograph into a story, a song into an anthem, and movement into dance.

You know how some people have an eye for style? Some people know how to capture qualities, whether it's on film, in dance, through music, etc. It's a talent to know how to see something in life and bring it to the foreground. How is it done? Is it through subtlety? Light? Composition? Shape? Good old fashioned feeling? Passion?

Perhaps it's honesty in a craft. Or, even better, honesty with a vision. There's an instinct, it's trusted, and it's followed.

Some bloggers are very good at capturing qualities, which is much more than expressing emotion. They trust themselves, their writings, and their inner voices without apology. In an atmosphere dominated by numbers, sponsorships, and traffic, it's a beautiful thing to see.

Do you trust your instincts?

Things That Have Helped My Running

2013-04-23T22:02:00.004-07:00

To refresh your memory, I've fallen in love with running. Did I just hear a collective gasp? Yes, this person who could barely run a block six months ago, ran four miles along the levee yesterday morning and sprinted the last quarter mile. My wardrobe is now 1/3 dance clothes, 1/3 running clothes, and 1/3 pea coats. Who am I?

Here are some things that have helped me get my run on:

1. Socks that fit.
My ankle are ridiculously narrow, so much so that regular ankle socks slip right off. But these Target ones are snug enough to stay above my heel. I know I should probably invest in some legit running socks soon to avoid blisters, but I'm cheap and these were $1.50 a pair.

2. Bottoms that don't show the butt sweat, because we all know how embarrassing that is. (At least I do.)
Look for running bottoms with quick drying fabric so your running partner doesn't laugh at you. Target has a few good ones, as does Adidas. But, to be honest, Marshalls has the cheapest ones. I hear Lululemon is excellent, but I also read their CEO say racist things about Asians, so I don't support them.

3. Straws are the new black.
As we all know, it's important to be well hydrated before, during, and after a run. I'm addicted to what Mr. Branflake calls the "adult sippy cup." It's a water bottle made by Thermos with a straw on top that pops up when you want a drink. I cannot sing its praises enough. I drink so much more water with this straw than with other water bottles or cups; twenty ounces is gone in a flash. In fact, I freak out more when I forget my water bottle than when I leave my phone at home. I am that addicted to this freaking water bottle.
*Unfortunately, this water bottle is not ideal for outdoor running.

4. Foam Roller
Runners, like dancers, have tight IT bands (the thick, outer muscle on the thigh). It's nearly impossible to properly stretch it out, so I always recommend my students massage away the tightness with a foam roller or a rolling pin and roll until you want to cry. Foam rollers are my miracle drugs. I have three herniated discs, a bum knee, and scoliosis and a foam roller cures most, if not all, my aches and pains.
*For tips on how and what to foam roll, I found this really neat graphic on Pinterest.

5. Support.
Even my little ones need to be strapped down. I skimped on some cheap ones at Target and my boobs regretted it, so now I'm okay with spending thirty dollars on a sports bra.

6. Good shoes.
Get good shoes no matter what. I went to Fleet Feet where they measured me and watched my stride. Theresa at Fleet Feet spent an hour with me to make sure I found the right fit; it took me less time to find my wedding dress. I know there are many readers from the UK, so I'd like to know where you go to get fitted for trainers. My New Balances were not cheap ($120), but they've helped my running tenfold.
*For the record, the ones shown are not the ones I have. The ones I have are ugly and aren't on the website. I am assuming those two points are related.

Okay, fellow runners- it's your turn!

What running accessories can you not live without?

Chocolate Raspberry Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting

2013-04-21T23:36:00.002-07:00

I have this horrible habit on Instagram of posting food photos and saying, "Recipe coming soon on the blog!" and then they never do. Part of it is because my desktop died and my laptop is as slow as Napoleon Dynamite, so going through photos produces Job-like experiences. I am not the most patient person.

Another part is because I have legitimate anxiety when it comes to posting recipes. I never use recipes. The free-spirit/creative-type in me views recipes akin to a straight-jacket, so writing things step by step is one of the most tedious things. Also, I have this fear that someone's going to come after me with a wooden spoon, yelling how my recipe sucked and I have no right to pretend I'm a food blogger.

I digress...

You'll notice the process to makes these is quite similar to the Chocolate Salted Caramel Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting I made in January. These are not difficult to make, but because I fear the raging wooden spoon (ahem, Pinterest peeps), I made sure I was quite thorough with the steps.

What you'll need:

16 Cupcakes
Use a chocolate cake recipe you fancy. I like Perfectly Chocolate Cake from Hershey's, but I had Betty Crocker's chocolate cake mix on hand and no one noticed a difference.

1 Cup Raspberry Jam (seedless if you can get it)
Side note: I'm LDS and my Church makes the most fabulous seedless raspberry jam in the world. If you want some, go get a Mormon friend and tell them you need some jam. They'll understand.

Cupcake liners.
Always important.

16 Rasberries
For decoration.

Bags and Tips
You'll need two bags and two medium sized tips- one for the icing and one for the raspberry jam. Since I don't have bags or tips, I used resealable plastic sandwich bags and cut the tips according to the size I needed. (It usually takes a little trial and error.)

Cream cheese frosting:

1 8 oz block of cream cheese. softened.

2 sticks or 1 cup of butter, softened.

4 cups of powdered sugar. Sifted, if you want.

(I didn't, and I survived.)

1 tsp vanilla extract.

1/4 tsp salt.

Do not skip on the salt. It changes everything.

~Cream the butter and cream cheese until incorporated.

Beat in powdered sugar until soft peaks form.

(If you let it rest, the frosting will stiffen slightly. Don't add any more powdered sugar if it doesn't harden as much as you want. Just put it in the fridge and let it stiffen. Adding powdered sugar kills the creamy taste of the frosting.)

~Add in vanilla extract and salt.

~Beat until blended.

Assemble and Decorate
~Make your cupcakes according to directions and let cool.
~Cut 'x's into the top of each cupcake.
~Fill the jam into the piping bag and insert tip into the top of the 'x' on the cupcake.
~Press about a teaspoon of the jam into the cupcake.

~Fill your frosting bag half full and pipe a spiral of frosting on the cupcake, going from outside in.
(It takes some practice to get the pressure of your hand and speed of the spiral just right, but just do a few on a piece of paper as practice and you'll be fine.)

~ Top each cupcake with a raspberry.

Voila!

Ps... thank you to all who commented on Friday's Anonymous post. I know that even though it was anonymous, it takes a lot of courage to be honest with emotions. I know I was sweating bullets when I clicked publish, but I felt a lot better when I did it.

From... Anonymous: How Are You?

2013-04-19T02:30:00.000-07:00

This week has been a tough one. I don't think I need to point out why, but I know we all felt it in one way or another. Grieving is an interesting thing; we all do it in different ways because we're all affected by things in different ways.

Recently my friend asked me how I was. I wanted to just spew every discomforting thought that came out of my mouth, but I told myself I was being irrational and needed to slow my roll. Looking back, I wish I had just said how I felt, no matter how illogical and dramatic I sounded.

I started this anonymous series as a way to give you a platform to say what we wanted without judgement or identity. I'm going to be blunt; as bloggers, mothers, boyfriends, wives, co-workers, and neighbors, we have to be wary about what we put out on social media and, as frustrating as that is, it's the world we live in. Because of this, I couldn't think of a better time than now for this series; some of us just need to get things off our chest without a trace.

You don't have to let it out anonymously, but this is just a way to help you feel you don't have to censor yourself. My anonymous comment will be in there, too.

So tell me:

How are you?

Here's a place you can let it out anonymously by clicking 'anonymous' in the comment box.

Not Apologizing For My Weight Anymore

2013-04-17T23:22:00.003-07:00

Me on the ground before a show. 'Cuz that's what I do.

The other day, I was practicing lifts with another dancer. There was a scary point where he lost his handle on my waist and we both nearly came tumbling to the ground. I would also like to add right before then, I gobbled up a hefty sandwich and a few other sweet treats, so I wasn't exactly feeling my lightest. But instead of doing the usual, "I'm sorry I'm so heavy," I simply shrugged and said, "You need to grab lower. Let's do it again."

To clarify, I have always apologized for my weight when things have gone haywire with lifts. Sometimes it's for comic relief, while other times it's to beat my partner to the punch before I could hear him complain about my poundage. And for most of my life, taking the blame came more naturally than blaming someone else because it just seemed more polite.

But I've gotten to the point where I'm sick of saying, "Sorry I weigh so much" or "Sorry I'm not light like the rest of the dancers."

(True, lifting in dance is not about weight, but about agility and core strength of the dancer being lifted. But, let's be honest, it would be easier to lift a light, agile, strong dancer than a heavier, agile, strong dancer.)

Now, before you boo ha ha me complaining about my weight, let me add that I weigh much more than I look. Part of it's because I have a lot of muscle and another part is just how my body is built. And as I told my partner, "Let's do it again," without even a hint of apology, it was refreshing to finally understand what my body is and be okay with it.

Have you ever apologized for your body?

Shall we all stop it once and for all?

The Red Bench/Emotional Attachments

2013-04-15T22:59:00.000-07:00

After a performance this past weekend, someone writing an article came up to me for an interview. At one point she asked, "What does the red bench symbolize?"

"Attachments," I said confidently. "It symbolizes what we hold onto when approached with something new. We can either cling to those attachments with fear or use them as a platform to stand on to help see the future."

"And what are your attachments?" She asked.

I stuttered, stammered, and finally blurted out something so incoherent all she could do was smile and nod sympathetically. I could have told the truth, but my pride got in the way and I didn't want to admit how much of a sentimental fool I can be. Sometimes I feel as if I hold on to everything (memories, gifts, hopes, ideas of what I thought life would be like) with such fierceness, it obscures my vision of reality.

But that's the beautiful thing about emotional attachments- they can either hold you down or lift you up. It's our choice what we do with them.

What are your emotional attachments?

My heart goes out to those suffering after yesterday's attack in Boston.

My mind and heart are still processing what happened.

I'm not sure I'll ever understand,

but I echo what Renee Tully said about having faith in the individual.

You've Been Good To Me

2013-04-14T22:07:00.000-07:00

Sunday night marked my last performance in Sacramento. Before the show started, Lorelei Bayne, the company's co-director, brought me on stage and handed me this photo signed by some of my favorite Sacramento artists.

I don't cry, but I was sure close at that moment.

Thank you, Sacramento. You've been good to me.
And thank you all for your well wishes and happy thoughts.
I'm happy to share this journey with you.

Jump for Joy Friday/ A Good-Bye

2013-04-12T00:01:00.001-07:00

Sweet Emma from One Less Lonely Dancer sent in this photo and I'm absolutely in love with it. Isn't it the perfect representation of the warm months ahead?

Emma blogs about her life as a dancer in Finland. She's incredibly talented with a passion for dance and I'd absolutely recommend her blog to anyone, especially if you're looking for a fun, thoughtful, and honest dance blog. And, from judging this photo, she's a complete free spirit who loves life. Who doesn't love a blogger like that?

What am I jumping for joy about today?
Yesterday's performance was a blast! Not only that, but all the support I got from friends and family meant so much. Even when people couldn't make it, I appreciated the texts, messages, tweets, and even a cupcake!

This weekend I'm performing for what will probably be the last time in Sacramento. It's bittersweet, but my heart is especially full with gratitude for my dancing life here.

What's making you jump for joy today?

Special plans? Good news? It's freaking friday?!!!

If you and/or your blog would like to be featured,

send in a jumping photo at dancingbranflake at gmail.com

My First Ocean Sunrise

2013-04-10T21:57:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I made another solo trip to Monterey. Yes, I wanted to see family and friends. Yes, I wanted to eat this marvelous burger. But on that trip I had a mission: Watch the sunrise over the Pacific.

As a California girl who grew up with summers on the beach and winters along the shoreline, ocean sunrises have never been in my radar- until I found out about Lover's Point in Monterey, a strip a land that curves around the coastline and faces east.

I had plans to meet a friend at 7:15 so we could take photos, chat, and see the sun rise together. But my friend slept in, which I was okay with because there's something about being alone with nature that calms me and makes me feel both humbled and special. It's as if God's saying, "This is for you. It's because I love you."