Generally, I am fine but I lack proper nutrition because my appetite still hasn’t come back and I cannot eat anything even though I love the dish, I simply don’t have the appetite and I wish I could eat well already so I can regain my strength and be well in due time.

Since I cannot walk, I keep myself busy by being online most of the time. I love playing games online and of course I love shopping online too. Shopping truly eases my nerves and it relaxes me, it never fails to make me happy that’s why shopping online is a habit I won’t break.

Having DirecTV is truly beneficial and you can have several channels to choose from, a wide array of shows that will entertain you. Having directv in state of Florida can still give you a chance to watch anything that pleases you.

My cousins from San Jose was bragging about their Direct TV in state of California and they are going to watch Michael Jackson’s Memorial at the Staples from the comfort of their home.

So, the question is, why are none of the major news outlets covering this story?  Why is nobody investigating these reports?  I can only guess it is because the story of a superstar abusing drugs for recreation is a far more tantalizing story than a man suffering decades with chronic pain, insomnia, depression, anxiety, etc. and using medications to try to get through each day like hundreds of thousands of us do every day.

I for one can very much relate to balancing a fear for your safety and life with the desperation to ease the pain and suffering.  Taking a little more medication than last time because you just have to get some relief and rest but being terrified that this time it would be too much.

If this is what happened to Michael Jackson, the world should know about it!  Not only does he deserve the truth but it will save lives!  And, even if his Lupus had nothing to do with his death, the awareness that could be brought to a disease that desperately needs it, while filling in a missing piece of the Michael Jackson puzzle would be world changing!

Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time. ~Deborah Chaskin

My life once again is put on temporary on hold, just when I thought things are getting better that I’m finally reaching the end of my dark tunnel and finally finding the light… boom, it happens again! Lupus strikes back and this time it did not only crippled my body but it also crippled me emotionally. I’ve always been a strong person with great faith, I always try to see the bright side of everything and I always tell myself that God will never give me something I cannot handle and I thought I am that strong, that since I’ve been through a lot there’s absolutely nothing that can break me anymore, I was wrong.

I just came to the point when doubts clouded my mind, what if I’ll never get well, what if I’ll spend the rest of my life in pain and my family totally broke because of me, what if God is not listening to me and what if I’ll never see sunrise again… the reality of death became real to me again and fear starts to sets in and I remember those sleepless nights at the hospital, those empty hours that I lay awake waiting for the break of dawn so that I could somehow feel I have yet to live another day.

There’s a certain fear in my heart that I know will not go away until such time, I can be assured that things will get better and just like a butterfly, I shall awaken in my own sweet time…

I’m recently addicted to Facebook’s Pet Society and it’s been taking most of my time and helping me to forget my dilemma somehow… But do you notice how June ended so quickly? Soon, Christmas will be just around the corner and exhibit booths will be all over once again. I like to go to trade show displays and find some quality logo floor mats and truss, I just hope that before the holidays I’ll be much better.