Every now and then there is a day that reminds me how my life was before therapy. A day when I surprise myself and say “Oh snap, remember when anger ruled your life and how you would have responded so differently to this particular event?” It is not a pleasant road to travel down. However, as the years go by I have begun to accept that the anger, which led my life down not so rosy paths, was not mine to own.

But, I am getting ahead of myself.

Recently I have been glancing through three of my personal diaries. Diaries dating from 1968 - 1970. Diaries that record the thoughts of a girl turning thirteen, fourteen, and then fifteen. Or rather they should be records of that young girl’s thoughts.

Perhaps the diaries is why I am contemplating how my life was before therapy. You see, my diaries are very superficial. They are entries of mundane comings and goings of an adolescence.

None of the angst, none of the insecurities, none of the teenage woes make their appearance in the written pages.

When I took them down from the attic I was hoping for some insight into the person I can’t remember. It was not to be. What I uncovered instead was the tip of an iceberg that can only be classified as my lifelong battle dealing with someone else’s anger.

My diary is mundane because to write anything else would have caused extreme personal battles in my life.

I knew my mother read my diaries.

I could not tell my truths.

I was horribly afraid of my mother.

This is where therapy helped me to begin to connect the dots. The fears that were perpetuated throughout my childhood ~ the anger that grew from these unresolved fears ~ was a legacy that was being handed down to me.

A legacy that was going to continue it’s cycle….if I let it.

Today I am grateful: For courage.

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It’s been awhile since I made my way over to Booking Through Thursday. I found it rather humorous that today, Deb’s prompt is:

Give me the list or take a picture of all the books you have stacked on your bedside table, hidden under the bed or standing in your shelf – the books you have not read, but keep meaning to. The books that begin to weigh on your mind. The books that make you cover your ears in conversation and say, ‘No! Don’t give me another book to read! I can’t finish the ones I have!’ “

As many of you know ~ books are my #1 addiction. So here they are ~ my photos of the books that I have not read but keep meaning to:

My Christian Reads

My Professional Reads

My Just For Fun Reads

How about you? What does your TBR pile look like???? Inquiring minds want to know ~ in case I have this insatiable craving to add “just one more” book to my own To Be Read pile.

This post is one of many to come that have been inspired by this post by Susan the Wellness Writer.

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It’s that time of month again for me to share my ‘Well Written’ posts for the past month.

My “Well Written Posts” is where I bookmark posts written by other bloggers. These are the posts that have caught my attention, given me pause for thought, inspired me, or made me laugh. I bookmark them because I want to be able to read these posts again and again.

The wonderful ‘Well Written/Well Said’ posts I discovered for June are:

• An Untraditional Home: Unschooling Snapshots
• From a Heavenly Land: Lamaze Breathing
• From a Heavenly Land: Moonlit Ride
• If Mom Says OK: Denial is a River in Egypt
• Christian Unschooling: Confessions of a Natural Learning Newbie
• Windows to My Soul: Losing but Gaining
  

As Joy from Thoughts of Joy would say: Happy Reading!!!

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July 2, 1969

Dear Diary,

I have been konking out every time I hit the pillow and as you read on you will find out why!

JoAnn came over around quarter after 12:00 and we took off for Medway Park with two tennis rackets, tennis balls, food, and Pepsi. We walked home singing Christmas carols! I ate my lunch on the way there.

JoAnn and I were playing tennis and Mike the Lifeguard had a whole mess of kids come on the tennis court for some reason and he looked at us and told the kids “the BASKETBALL court” instead.

We went home around 3:00 and went back to play some more.

These two guys (Mike and Chet) were there and we all played a couple of games together. Chet was the sweetest. They were our age.

We went home and Dad took everyone to Dairy Queen. Fun!

Came home, goofed around and went to bed!

Danielle

Age 14

What is summer without cute guys, a game of tennis and a trip to Dairy Queen? Sigh.

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The weather in my neck of the woods:

Sunny with intermittent rain showers

 A simple pleasure:

Sitting out on the sun porch with a gardening magazine during a rain shower

I am thankful:

That we have dental insurance

From the kitchen: 

I FINALLY made our favorite Korean dish ~ Bulgogi and Korean Sticky Rice. Thanks Tara!!!

 

I am working on:

My photography website. If you haven’t been there please take a peek and let me know what you think. Thanks Vicki for saying it is easy to navigate ~ my goal is to keep it pretty simple.

My backyard cottage garden.

My scrapbooking.

From the learning rooms:

Not much going on but reading. Reading is good.

Plus some photography. Click here to check out Miss Sam’s great 4th of July photos!

I am reading:

Sullivan’s Island by Dorothea Benton Frank. She is a perfect summer read. Thanks Thia.

In my bedside basket waiting to be read:

Crime and Punishment by Doestoevsky

Alive by Piers Paul Read

On my TV:

Big Brother starts soon!!!  My favorite summer show.

Devotional/Scripture Readings/Key Verses:

Acts 10: 34 - 35

Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right.

Every nation has people who are restless for God, ready to receive the gospel - but someone must take it to them. Seeking God is not enough - people must find him.

How then shall seekers find God without someone to point the way?

Is God asking you to show someone the way to him?

 Taken from The Life Application Study Bible

Some picture thoughts I’m sharing:

Been busy scrapbooking

End of season tomato harvest ~ boy did they taste yummy in yesterday’s burgers.

Continuing to work on my backyard garden

My bleeding heart plant (given to me by my brother-in-law) is FINALLY working it’s way up the porch swing. Any suggestions for the other side??? It gets direct sun almost all day.

What does your Daybook look like?

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Excerpt from a V-Mail Letter written by my uncle as World War II comes to an end:

“Boy, hasn’t the news really been swell the past few days? Looks as if I may be home a lot sooner than I’d dared dream. Gosh, I sure hope everything comes out okay and we can all start looking forward to going home. We are supposed to get two days off on pass as soon as V.J. Day (Victory over Japan) is declared officially and you can bet anything that I’ll be out there in some city doing my share of the celebrating. The boys are all very glad that the end of this mess is finally in sight.

August 13, 1945

Please pray for our country and the brave men and women that continue serving with the mission to keep our country free.

For a personal story on the sacrifices made to keep our country free, please visit April’s post ~ Independence Day: Thank you Sean.

God Bless America ~ home of the free and the brave.

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This (click here) is as far as I have progressed after spending SEVERAL HOURS (in between making chips and dip/cheesy enchiladas/sour cream pound cake) uploading, deleting, and constantly changing the layout. Please be sure to click on the tabs and do some exploring. Suggestions welcome!!!!!!!

Mr. John’s Corner:

Me: I’m done.

Mr. John: Done with what???

Me: Spending time in THIS kitchen.

Mr. John: You spent more time in there today than you do in a week!

‘Nuff said.

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Many things we need can wait. The child cannot. Now is the time his bones are being formed; his blood is being made;his mind is being developed. To him we cannot say tomorrow. His name is today. Gabriela Mistral

One of the most surprising things I learned about myself when I became a mother, is how much I love children. Not just my own, but other people’s children. I find great comfort in my daughter’s friends, in my friends’ children and in the child that asks “Mrs. B, if my Dad doesn’t show up can I go with you?”. I love a car full of kids, yelling “She touched me, make her stop!” or “He won’t let me play his Gameboy, it’s my turn!!”. Many adults will get frustrated and annoyed by such clamor. I feel blessed.

In 1996 Hilary Clinton wrote the book “It Takes a Village…And Other Lessons Children Teach Us”. The opening paragraph of this book states “Children are not rugged individualists. They depend on the adults they know and on thousands more who make decisions every day that affect their well-being.” The premise of the book being that, it takes a village to raise a child. Every day I encounter children that are not mine, that I don’t know, that need me to one of those thousands. Oh, if they only realized how much I need them.

They are God’s gift to me. When I bring my daughter to soccer games, I don’t have time to complain about being the snack mom for the zillionth time in a row…I am too busy enjoying, watching children play and getting plenty of fresh air and exercise. When I take my daughter to the movies with her friends and they want, soda, popcorn AND candy…I don’t have time to complain aobut the cost…I am so happy that they can all be together and act like the kids they are. When we go to the pool in town, I don’t have time to complain about the hot sun…I am too busy watching children teach each other to dive, to swim, to play Marco Polo. God has placed many children in my life because He knew.

He knew I needed to have a childhood. He knew I needed to see and experience what running free in the park is all about, what sharing an ice cream cone with a best friend is like. How laughing at nonsensical stuff is not stupid. It is a magical moment.

In the busyness of your week, stop and look and listen. Breathe in the essence of your village. It is the ordinary pleasures that make an extraordinary day.

Embrace what God has given you and don’t say tomorrow… for the child only understand today.

This post was previously posted on July 1, 2006 on my blog The Whippoorwill Chronicles.

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Robin from Around the Island has a fun summer photo meme ~ Summer Stock Sunday. Today she posted about swimming and I thought I would do the same since Miss Sam spent most of yesterday swimming.

Samantha’s Corner:

Mom: It’s 1:00 pm ~ time to get up.

Sam: Ugh…

Mom: I don’t care ~ it’s time to get up.

Sam: Mom listen.

Mom: I can’t, I have things to do.

Sam: Mom listen….I got up early yesterday….I got a lot of exercise….and I didn’t get to bed until 4:00 am….PLEASE…let me sleep.

Sucker Mom: Okay…BUT….you are going to bed at 2:00 am….do you understand???? DO YOU UNDERSTAND??????

Sam: Okay…Okay….just please let me sleep.

Okay ~ so how many of you think Miss Sam will call it a night at 2:00 am?????????? ( I know BAD MOM ~ BAD MOM)

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