Danny Lipp of Lipps & Co (2)

My space

2006-08-22T10:23:00.000+01:00

Hello everyone,

How are you? It's been a while I know but I've been a bit busy working on some new material for an album. Yes, that's right; an album. I'm releasing it on my own label 'Dunkirk records' (named out of respect for those who gave their lives) and hopefully getting it into your hands at some point in the next couple of months.

Someone else who I learn has an album coming out is Rod Stewart the singer. How do I know this? Because I've had an email off him. It all started when Candy signed me up to the My Space web page which helps record companies advertise their artists, or something. Anyway she asked Rob Stewart to be my friend and he said yes and called me a good man. Amazing. Anyway, this week I replied to him and here is my message:

'Hello there Rod,

How are you? I hope you're well. Sorry it's taken me a while to respond to your kind message calling me a good man, but it was appreciated. I've been called a lot in my life and career (most of it has been accompanied by a missile of some sort) but that is one of the nicest things.

How have you been? Working hard or taking it easy? I should imagine that you find it quite difficult to relax whereas I've had a good deal of my life to relax due to the legal action from my ex-manager and band-mates.

I wonder, how much of this technical stuff do you actually do? My wife (like you I have opted for a newer model of late) sets all of this business up for me and I just type the messages and that. Do you have someone to help you when you get confused?

Anyway, you must be very busy and I won't keep you too long.

Best wishes Rod. You are a good nam too.

Danny x'

I think I sound pretty cool, don't you? Next time I'll publish Rod's response.

Not my day.

2006-03-15T17:10:00.000Z

I'be just read my last post back and realised there is something bery wrong with my keyboard. Sorry again.

Down

2006-03-15T16:41:00.000Z

Hello eberyone. I don't know why I say eberyone when the only people that biew this blog are me and my solicitor. It's bery difficult to get geared up for a big comeback if I can't eben get people to read a hundred words a week. What I should habe said is "Hello both of you".

Sorry I sound so down but I'be been lying to Candy since last Wednesday. Unbeknownst to her I'be been working at a telephone call centre in Croydon. Beliebe me I don't want to do it but I'm in real danger of losing the will to libe if I don't habe some money, eben if it's just a pittance. I need to make sure the taxman doesn't find out otherwise I could end up in prison. It's probably for the best that no one is reading this then! Ha Ha!

The call centre is okay but it's pretty aggrabating working with people that weren't eben alibe when I was last on 'The Chart Show'. They really think they know it all, constantly going on about their next audition and their "good bibes" about their record deal. I'd like to see tham in thirty years time when they're on their butts wondering how they can afford to keep their poxy Bauxhall Bectra going!... see how "wicked" they're feeling then. Do I sound bery bitter? Apologies. It's just a rut. Peaks and troughs, Danny... peaks and troughs.

No news on the gig front. Sorry.

Someone cares...

2006-02-20T10:32:00.000Z

Hello all. I've just returned from a quick trip abroad. Auchan at Calais had Stella at 24 for the price of 20. I gor back to a marvellous e-mail from a generous woman in the colonies who wants to help out. Watch this space.

"Hi Danny,

I was looking for a contact address for Mike Nolan (ex Bucks Fizz) and I accidently got sent to your site.

I live in Australia and have never heard of you but feel for you. I have had a stalker for a few months who is trying to destroy my reputation and career because I hired an author called HB Marcus for my team. I maybe sued over something said stalker wrote on a website under my name when they hacked into my computer.

I now have a new computer, new everything so it has helped somewhat. If people start on you, go into damage control and try and salvage your reputation. Can you put an ISP tracker on people who comment on your blog so their ISP number shows up?

May I ask, in short, who did exactly what to you?

I maybe able to help your career somewhat in a couple of months. I have been asked to go as asquisitions manager for a new American company who will create soundtracks for motion picture movie soundtracks. Once he gets his finger out, I can give you an address to send cds and information to. You will still own your full rights to the songs if chosen. I would like to help Mike out too.......Just don't know how to contact him.

One thing you may like to consider is going into doing voiceovers for ads, movies, animations etc. Good money!

Best wishes,

Name and address supplied."

See? Brilliant, eh?

Difficult times

2006-02-10T22:25:00.000Z

Hello there. Funny old times we're living in, eh? Riots and death threats because of some silly cartoons. Mr Bush stopping Al Qaeda flying a plane into a library. New animals being made in the jungle. It's all going on and yet I still can't get a flipping break. I have had precisely no luck at all. Nothing. Actually that isn't true: Candy let me touch them last night and she looked at my member for a little while as well... It's not much but it's a great leap forward from the drought of September 2004-December 2005. I believe that my angst is starting to manifest itself in my music; things are getting dark. Radiohead look out! One of my new demos is the sound of me swearing out loud whilst a guitar twangs really loudly in the background. It's really good but I think I should cut out some of the bad language. And the guitar.

Someone from John Gaunt's radio programme called up to ask if I'd take part in a phone-in on late-stage abortions and the woman's right-to-choose. I think they had the wrong person. I would've done it bu they never got back to me. i'm also thinking of giving up on 'Buzzcocks'. Yeah, my new target is 'The Friday Night Project'. That would be briliant.

Please!!!

2006-01-30T20:58:00.000Z

If you're going to leave messages on here DON'T leave them anonymously. Since Andrew King's book I have been extremely wary of anonymous comments and the people that leave them. Or the people that publish them. On the plus side, I spoke to the News Shopper and providing they don't get Jodie Marsh or Chantelle I'm in.

Sorry I was bad-tempered just now. Andrew King's book (I can't bear to refer to it by it's name) was so cruel that it still leaves an imprint to this day. What I never understood is how he got to find out so much about waht went on in the "inner sanctum" of Lipp HQ. As Jasper always says: "Trust nobody, Danny Boy. Nobody." Hmmmm...

...

2006-01-30T14:41:00.000Z

We've had a cease and desist notice from Alan Sugar's company Amstrad. It tells us to stop playing 'The Amstrad Touch' or risk being sued. Considering the average attendance at my gigs has been roughly eleven over the last ten years I wonder if his lawyers might have something better to do. I might see if re-naming it appeases them; 'The Apple Touch' seems risky but trendy. It does sound a bit weird though. Like a pervert greengrocer.

I'm hoping to get into the Primetime section of the News Shopper. I'll ring them later.

I hope this works:

2006-01-15T19:33:00.000Z

I sent this e-mail earlier. I hope they can help. Here it is:

Hello Mr Gervais and Mr Merchant,

I've tried to contact you through the messageboards at the Guardian
website and my manager insists he's done some phoning around, but to
no avail. You might recognise my name; I was the lead
singer/songwriter/guitar player in various bands in the 1970's, 80's
and 90's, most notably The Dulcet Lads and Lipps & Co. After my recent
legal problems I am trying to get back on the map and feel a
collaboration with you chaps may be the springback I'm looking for.
I've done a course on acting for the camera at Rye Community College
and are currently on a shortlist for an advert on the television
(although I haven't heard anything from them since November). With all
of this in mind is there a chance you might consider me for a role in
the new series of 'The Extra'. I could play myself and you could take
the mickey out of my famous run-in with Mike Reid on Saturday
Superstore. Bastard.

If you can't see your way to giving me a part then maybe I could do a
song for the programme. I've got a new one which is just as miserable
as the one you've got now. It's called 'The Bricklayer's Arms' and
could become really popular, especially if it's covered by someone
else. I could also do an upbeat one. Or if you shoot a scene in a
disco I could do one for that. Maybe one of my old hits.

I know you must get loads of people writing to you like this (I know
Mike Nolan of Bucks Fizz was going to give you a call) and I
appreciate that you can't give everyone a part, but I could really do
with a lift. If you can't help me get on your programme then maybe you
might know someone from 'Never Mind the Buzzcocks' or 'I'm a
Celebrity, get me out of it' that could sort me out. Eh?

Thanks for reading this e-mail and good luck with the future.

Bye

Danny Lipp of Lipps & Co (2)

Muck soup

2006-01-04T23:28:00.000Z

Happy New Year everybody! I hope you had a good time. Candy came back yesterday afternoon and seemed really upbeat. I'm hoping all that talk of a divorce that cast a cloud over the Autumn has finally passed. She's been in her room since yesterday evening, but as long as I know she's safe and sound then all's well that ends well. Christmas was very productive in terms of songwriting; I reckon I've got a dead cert top ten hit in the bag with my newest one. It's a bit of a heartbreaker about a fella who loses his wife to a builder and finds solace in the pub. It's called 'The Bricklayer's Arms' and I really do think, with the right national tragedy, it could be a number one. Fingers crossed, eh?

I phoned into a radio station phone-in on Sunday night about bands that you'd like to see make a comeback. I mentioned Lipps & Co and the DJ hadn't heard of us. I even used my real name. Nothing. Not a dicky bird. I despair sometimes. No Danny! That's the wrong attitude... 2006 is gonna be a good one. You're gonna meet Phil Jupitus, you're gonna play a festival (V? Here's hoping!) and CD:UK isn't beyond the realms of reality. Is it?

Hurrah

2005-12-24T14:40:00.000Z

Merry Christmas everyone, and a Happy New Year. If you're in Rye and fancy a drink or a bite to eat do pop in. Please.

Fingers crossed

2005-12-22T23:02:00.000Z

Hello there. I hope you are all well. I'm sorry I haven't asked that before. I've been told that I can get a little wrapped up in myself at times. I can't remember who told me that. No word on the advert. i asked Jasper to give them a call but he said he was a bit busy and he'd do it later - this was last Wednesday. I wonder if he's dead. He died once before when he got shot in a bank-raid. DOA at the hospital, the doctors and nurses managed to pull him back from the brink, fix the hole in his heart and sooth the gunpowder burns on his hands. I never did get my money though.

It's been a tough old year in many ways. Dropped by the label, bank manager on my case... at least I've still got my darling Candy. She is a wonder, an absolute wonder. What a twenty-nine year old sees in a silly old sod like me I'll never know. She's a away at her flat in town at the moment and apparently the trains are an absolute nightmare so she may not get back home until... well, New Year was mentioned.

I think I may try to write a new Christmas song as 'Bells, baubles and a broken heart' has gotten less airplay than ever this year. You can't win for losing. Just before I go: does anyone reading this know the home address for TV's Ricky Gervais. I wouldn't mind sending him a card. Or a present. Thanks.

Love hurts

2005-12-10T03:16:00.000Z

Jasper thinks he might have got me some commercial work. It's for a company that specialises in supplying offal products to high-end London restaurants. Apparently they are going to run an advert on the television based on The Wizard of Oz. It will feature a scarecrow looking for brains, a tin man looking for heart and a lion looking for some guts. They find them all at the end of the yellow brick road at McMillan's Meat Reclamation. By all accounts it's between me and Danny Wilson for the part of the tin man. Fingers crossed.

Before I go:

'A friend of mine had a shop that specialised in selling hot potatoes, but he ran into trouble. Now it keeps changing hands.'

That's a joke. I don't know anyone who owns a shop.

Carry on...

2005-12-06T23:43:00.000Z

Rehearsals continue. I'm not sure about Jim's position in the band. Six month's ago I was convinced that the tin-whistle could become something of a signiture sound for Lipps & Co (2)but I'm really having my doubts. It is making much of what we play sound like a jig which is fine on sounds like "Belfast boys" and "Make me jig, make you jig" but is less effective on "Damn you to hell, Josephine". Another problem is Jim's lack of progression in learning the tin-whistle; he promised he'd have it by now but, alas, he is still struggling. Essentially all we are getting is a lot of spit and wind. Troubling. We're still trying to line up a gig for the new year. The Turkish Lad is out for obvious reasons but we've got our eye on a couple of places in Deptford and somewhere in Bromley, wherever that is.
On the plus side I have found out the name and address of a chap who writes for The Londoner's Diary in The Evening Standard. I'm in two minds whether to send him a present and a hint or just go around and ask him to put me in the column. I hope he's heard of me.

Glory days

2005-12-04T21:49:00.000Z

Between 1984 and 1987 I appeared on six episodes of Blankety Blank. Six! My last television appearance was on 'Nevermind the Buzzcocks'. In the line-up. I didn't picked out. Mark Lamaar described me as "Still working in the music industry... Danny Lipp". Still working in the music industry? It makes me sound likeone of the Cheeky Girls. So depressing. Noddy Holder gets to go on the programme properly. They recognise him. He gets to do the intro round. Him and Phil Jupitus are mates. It is depressing.

Cool it kids...

2005-11-24T19:01:00.000Z

Hey! Okay, I've managed to chill myself down and out and get over Sunday's debacle. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong; the auditorium was a garden, I lost my guitar en route (it turned up in Calais), Jed's banjo string didn't hold out past 'The Amstrad touch' and at least two bottles accidentally struck me. No matter, I don't want to live in the past - onwards and upwards; we're working on our next gig and this time it'd be great if some of you turned up. God bless.

Danny

P.S I send all of my prayers to George Best and his family. One love Georgie boy - I'm sure you'd love the irony of kicking it on the first day of twenty-four hour licensing in England. Up the City!

Jesus Christ!

2005-11-21T22:23:00.000Z

Where the hell do I start? it was a bloody disaster! Start to effing finish! I'm so angry. SO ANGRY! No more Mr Nice-Guy. Much more Mr Nasty-Guy. let me just say right off the bat that The Turkish Lad in Sidcup is not a "first-class gig" as I was informed. It isn't - it's a s-hole of the highest order! The acoustics are appaling, the audience were dreadful (and I thank the Lord that there were so few of them) and the frost on the stage kept making me slip over. i'm too angry to say any more for now but rest assured my lawyer will be in contact.

Twenty-four hours...

2005-11-19T20:16:00.000Z

One sweet day away from getting it all back. If you're the celebrity booker for 'Nevermind the Buzzcocks' then get ready to pick up the phone. The fightback starts here.

Take five.

2005-11-12T23:32:00.000Z

Sorry I've not posted anything on this for a few days but I've been hanging with some 'homeys' who i think are totally 'rad' and have improved my 'street cred' no end. Me and the Chislehurst crew have been bigging up each other for the last few days so that I can get a bit of an urban sound into Lipps & Co (2). So far, so good; three new tracks in as many days due to the new out-look these young men and women have given me. Bitchin'. With a week to go until The Turkish Lad gig, the set-list is looking pretty exciting I think you'll agree:

1) '(Biting my) French tarlet'
2) 'My heart's not broken (but it's out 'til the end of the season)'
3) 'Niggaz fuck wi' da wrong bitch'
4) 'Love on the lamb'
5) 'The Amstrad touch'

Interval - Raffle (Prize: dinner for two at L' Testique, Sidcup)

6) 'Kill yo' cracker ass'
7) 'Petal powered hug-machine'
8) 'Larks-a-plenty'
9) 'Peephole of the people (part two)'
10) 'AK-47 happy meal to go'
11) Encore - 'Love on the lamb (reprise)' - 14 minute version

This set-list is in no way legally binding and is subject to change.

Okay... Good to go!

2005-11-08T19:40:00.000Z

I feel better now. A calming thai eye-wash and a dinner of blood sausage sorted me out no end. Where were we? That's right 'Danny and The Paliatives'. After one ground-breaking, unreleased album we were done. I put Earl and "Bents" Mao out to pasture and decided to go it alone for a while. However, I was not alone; I still had to put up with the appaling advice of Jasper effin' Goodballoon. Jasper had approached me way back in early 1958 with a proposal that would tie me to him for the better part of forty-two years (I should have read the small print) and chain me to his bannister for three hours every Friday night (it made touring very tricky).

I'm not saying Jasper was a bad manager, he helped the band get onto Top of he Pops', he helped us get onto Brian Matthew's programme and he helped Terry Watson get on to David Nivens' knee a number of times. No, Jasper could have been a really great manager if it weren't for the fact that he steadfastly refused to pay us. We'd ask for cash, cheques, even postage stamps but he would point to the creative downturns of bands like The Rolling Stones and The Beatles as examples of money's corrupting influence. The legal wrangles went on for years until, in 2000, my contract finally ran out. I immediately renegotiated a new one with him which allows me a full fifty percent of every penny I earn. Who's the daddy now?

My solo work is probably my most pleasing work, although this applies to no one but me. My album of Rock and Pop love songs based on football chants sold very few copies but it is one of my favourite albums, along with anything by Bach. I don't blame the public for being stuck in their ways and unable to follow natural leaders... actually I do: they're idiots.

Way back when...

2005-11-07T20:06:00.000Z

It's come to my attention that there are some of you of a certain age that have absolutely no idea who I am. Well, for you under forties, I am a rock/pop singer who has had, although I say so myself, not an insignificant amount of success in the music scene. Most people will know me from the 1960's when I had a string of hits with my band 'The Dulcet Lads'. You've probably heard "Disengenious Daisy" and "Crank one out for me (Mary)" but we also had many, many more hits in parts of South-East Asia and french-speaking areas of Canada. It's been said that we were most popular in areas where english speakers were in the minority but you tell that to those citizens of Minsk who fell in love to 'Hold me tight, squeeze me right'; they knew what i was singing.
After 'The Dulcet Lads' came 'Danny and The Paliatives' who were just as successful in their own way, just not according to Arthur Dink at Parlophone Records who decided that we were, his words, "too shit". It is a chuffin' shame that people are so chuffin' short-sighted that they can't see when bands are trying to do something so steeped in irony that they actually ban it from going on sale or even being heard by anyone, including the band themselves. I stand by my own judgement that 'Strange Fruit Cider' was, if not a masterpiece, then a bloody good collection of noises. Arthur Dink! You ruined my life!

I'll gather myselves together and get back to you.

All is well.

2005-11-05T00:00:00.000Z

Despite the title of his page, all is not well. Things have gone seriously astray and, as per usual, yours truly has been left with his hand in the beaver. To cut a long story short our new bass player, or bassist as they prefer it these days, has gone and tugged his banjo string out of place. There was I holding an ice-pack on his nethers whilst two student nurses from the Southern hemisphere attempted to prod it back in. Not a pretty site. Rest assured, he didn't get his wages for this afternoon. To see a man of that size (he's nearly 5' 10"!!!) in pain is a horrifying site and not one that I would wish on my closest enemy or my worst friend. If you would like to see it, however, it is available on my premium rate site www.dannystragicconsequences.com. How'd he do it? Well, for just £14.99 a month you can find out for yourself.

Yeah! I'm back!

2005-11-03T22:56:00.000Z

Hello World! Yeah, that's right: it's me Danny! The Danny Lipp! Blogging to you, my fans. After the recent acrimony between me and the other members of Lipps & Co I am finally allowed to address a group of people larger than fifteen. Unfortunately, due to the extraordinary length of the acrimony (13 years!!! Not my chuffin' fault. Blame chuffin' Terry Watson), I have almost no chance of addressing a crowd larger than fifteen unless it's in court. So here's the comeback, kids... here's the beginning of the comeback trail. The new album is nearly ready, the new band is practising and some of the venues have been booked. Cool! Here's a date for your diaries: Sunday the 20th of November. The Turkish Lad pub, Sidcup. It's time to rock and pop again.