Dante's Infuego

How's Everything Tasting?

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 00:11:00 +0000

Every morning, I stop off on my way into work at the little drug store just inside the building to buy breakfast. I buy a $.59 shrimp flavored Cup – O – Noodle. I know, that’s degusting you say. Maybe that’s true, but it’s not any worse than what most of the rest of you are going to eat, so I don’t want to hear about it. Anyway, at the check-out counter, there is actually a tip jar. This begs me to ask the following question: Why in the name of sweet Mary Poppins’ trouser snake is there a tip jar for the lady running the register? She’s sitting on a stool, taking money, and handing back change. The store pays you what they figure that’s worth. I had to go find the noodles myself. Then I had to walk alllll the way up to the register and stand there until you snorted, “Next!”. I’m not going to pay more than the product price just because you stuck a tip jar out there. Why am I being expected to subsidize the wages of practically every employee I come into contact with? And why do I have to tip so much now?

Tip jars are basically everywhere. I get tipping a waiter or waitress (Or server, or whatever else they are called now). From the dawn of food time everyone knows that you are paying the restaurant for the food and the waitress to bring it to you. They only really get paid enough to take care of their tax withholdings…whatever. But if I go into a donut shop, place my order at the counter for coffee and a donut, fix up my own coffee (which sometimes means I even pour it myself), pay you and leave…why would I give you a tip? I’ve already paid like $4 for a cup of coffee (which kind of makes me an idiot in the first place, but that’s another discussion). They have tip jars at the parking garage. I press a button (which probably gave me finger AIDS), park my car; and when I leave I hand you exact change so you can press a button to release my car from the clutches of the uppy-downy bar. I’m not giving you a gratuity for that. I'm not really that grateful. The garage at the airport has machine to take my money. I expect to be let out. If they aren’t paying you enough to push that swine flu encrusted button, ask for a raise. I’ve already paid way more than I should have in order park my car for an hour so I could over-tip the guy at the take-out counter of a Chili’s ®.

Coffee shops, Delis, Chinese Take-out, the UPS store, electronics stores…the list is nearly endless. I’ve even seen a tip jar at a Walmart cash register for the love of Jenna Jameson. Sometimes the jar will have some little explanatory note taped to it, like, “For my kid’s college”, or “My dog needs a hip replaced, “So we can bury grandma”. Now you’re just begging for money. I love these ones: When the owner of the store is the one with the tip jar. Now you’re just blowing sand up my skirt. It’s your business! You set the prices and just because you’re too cheap to hire some help you’re also at the register. Here’s the tip you need: If you’re too much of an inept business owner to set prices that will cover your costs than don’t be in business!

“Good sir, how much would you charge me to buy that 10lb bag of women’s underpants?”
“I will sell that to you for $15.00.”
“Deal.”
“Excellent, now can I have a little more?”

It’s like bartering in reverse…and it’s moronic from a consumer standpoint. And even if it’s not your business, I’m not tipping you for doing the job you agreed to do for the wages you agreed to be paid. You serve coffee for minimum wage. You call it being a ‘barista’. It’s just a fancy word for “I pour coffee much the same way you would at home except into a paper cup with an Italian name.” Here’s YOUR tip: Minimum wage is probably more than that job is worth. I’m not giving you more money.

The grocery store where we shop has baggers that work for tips. After they put stuff your now broken eggs in your bags, they want to follow you out to your car, pushing the cart full of the same groceries you’ve been pushing around the store for 30 minutes, and then expect you to tip them like 10% of your purchase. They get nasty when I tell the cashier that I’ll be taking my groceries out. You know what: Go stab a fat orphan! I’m not paying someone to do a job I don’t need done! Every other grocery store just lets you take your own crap out to your mommy missle. Why should this store be different just so I can pay someone to do something NOBODY NEEDS! Do you know how stupid you feel, as a 39 year old man, walking out to your car being followed by a 70 year old retiree pushing your cart? I mean I’m lazy, but I’m not that lazy. You’re just paying the guy to torture himself at that point. So it’s really not that much different than paying homeless people to let you hunt them with paint balls. But I digress.

Not only are we now expected to hand out extra cash for everything from package delivery to traffic stops, tips for waitresses are magically going up too. It used to be that a tip for good service at a restaurant was 10-15%. Now we’re expected to tip 15-20%. In a recent discussion, one of my friends informed me that’s due to inflation. Let me divide by zero here: You’re paying a percentage. That means as things cost more, the tips go up at the same rate. If I paid you $7.00 for a meal that cost $50.00 ten years ago, I shouldn’t be tipping you $10 for it now. The difference lies in the that a meal that cost $50 ten years ago now costs $80, so you’re getting $12 at 15% anyway…so quit crying!

Maybe I should just join the parade and put a tip jar on my desk. I suppose, if we all did it, and we all tipped each other, it would turn the whole gratuity system into a nil-sum gain. We’ll all just be trading tips. I’ll be the only one making money though, because I’ll flood the internet with articles and blogs like this one to persistently establish the standard customary tip for ‘guy who sits a desk and answers emails’ at 25%. Plus, I'd have a note that reads: Just need money for strippers. Because that my friends is worth tipping.

That’ll be $5. Enjoy the rest of your day.

© 2011--Raymond Smith

I Want My Two Dollars!

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 15:59:00 +0000

I'm watching all these protesters 'occupying' Wall Street. They're angry. They've had enough of watching our country morph into this situation where the top 1% of the population control the bulk of the wealth. And I get it, they've played by the rules, they've worked hard. Many have gone to college and have student loans for bachelor's degrees that don't pay off in terms of the jobs they expected. Meanwhile, they see those of fortunate circumstances, be that family money, or just plain luck enjoying all the good times. Tea Party and far right conservatives' claims that the very wealthy use that money to create jobs seems to be class A hokum considering they retain and play with the bulk of their money. So how did our country get to this point?

Actually, that's a dumb question for me to ask. The better question is: When wasn't our country, or any other this way?

Dear Wall Street occupying, disenfranchised hipsters,

Put down your PBR and medical THC for a minute and pay attention. This is not new! The very tippy top minority holding the lion's share of the money and power has been the case in pretty much every society for thousands of years! It's not a Capitalist thing. It's not a Socialist things. It just...is.

It started when one big strong caveman wielded physical and sexual power over his fellow cave dwellers. He commanded the best food, flattest rock to sleep on, most pimp-ass saber toothed tiger fur, and had his command over the hottest (though hairy) cave chicks. The Pyramids of Egypt were built by hundreds of thousands of slaves to satisfy the opulent post-mortem obsessions of like 20 people. The Senators and Emperors of Rome had enough scratch to spend building giant stone houses off the backs of the proletariat. The Kings and wealthy land owners of Europe bathed in hot and cold running fat cash while basically everyone else squirmed around in their own filth.

But what about the noble and enlightened? The Chinese? Yeah, same story but with fireworks. The American Indians...yup. Powhatan's people knew full well who their daddy was. Marxists? Sure, they rage against the machine until they are the machine. Life was good in the USSR if you were a member of the Politburo...not so much if you were a farm-hand in Azerbaijan. How about the Inca, the Maya, or the renowned street gangs of L.A.? Uhh...yeah, same thing.

About the only society where this wasn't the case would have been the early post-colonial United States; the land of opportunity where everyone could succeed and attain the American Dream. After we kicked King George in the ding ding and founded the greatest nation ever to exist, every man, woman and child in the country made it big. Yeah right. One word: Plantation!

Our country didn't just get this way. It started this way. George Washington's humble little mansion on a hill overlooked a spread of around 5,000 acres and was operated ENTIRELY by slaves. Talk about disenfranchised. The founding fathers of this country were the top 1%. Everyone else would spend their entire lives sucking hind tit. But that's okay, right, surely the likes of George, Thomas, Ben, and the boys started out from humble beginnings and worked their way through college to get where they were. Heck, anyone in America could have had what they did at that time. Some did, but most didn't. The larger part of the signers of the constitution were privileged. Washington and Jefferson were rich from the get go...born to a couple of the most prominent families of Virginia at the time. Carnegie, Getty, Rockefeller, Vanderbilt, Ford, and Mr. Gates. Whether from privileged beginnings, or superior endeavors, these people became very very very rich while most of the rest of America goofed around in the middle class or lower.

Is it wrong? Well, that depends on how you look at it. In once sense, sure, they should share...I guess. Should they put more of their personal money back into the businesses they build and create more jobs? Should the government take it away from them through taxes and give it to everybody else? It doesn’t' really matter. Because, and here's the secret so really pay attention, you can start chanting again in a minute: Wealth redistribution will be the same whether you tax them more or not! Not better, not worse...the same.

Here's how: All the re-distributors are getting their knickers in a twist over the fact that, contrary to Tea -Bagger claims, those top earners and executives squander their wealth instead of using it to create jobs. That is a myopic view of job creation. Just because they don't re-invest every penny in theirs and other companies for growth (and therefor job creation) doesn't mean they're not creating jobs. What do you think the 2^nd and 3^rd order effects are when one of these grotesquely rich dudes has a custom 10,000 sq/ft house built? SOMEONE HAS TO BUILD IT. The same goes for yachts, summer homes, restaurants that make you taste the wine before they poor you a glass, private airplanes, expensive cars, cosmetic surgeons, strippers, escorts, entourages, and discrete 'pharmaceutical' suppliers.

Those who have money spend money. Most of them have money because for the most part they are smart with their money and save first and spend the residual. If you tax them more, you're just cutting into the money they spend. So, the only difference between redistribution by tax, and redistribution by squandering, is that at least with the later you have have a chance to get in front of the spend train and make a little for yourself. Or, you could let the government take it and waste it on pork-barrel spending that won't help anything, anywhere, ever.

Right, wrong, or indifferent...this situation has been an economic constant for as long as their have been people. It exists because it has to. Every model of society that has ever endeavored to be different ends up in this state very quickly because it has no choice. Someone has to mop floors, and someone else has to be at the top. But that doesn't mean that you can't start off with a mop in your hand, and end up with the keys to the executive washroom. It also doesn't mean you will. You make choices, you try and fail and try again, and if you're lucky, something you try will coincide with an opportunity and you'll be up, out and on top..and don't forget about the luck.

Bill Gates is a brilliant innovator. But that's not why he is where he is. He has all that he does because of pure, dumb luck. Check this out: Gates just happened to be fortunate enough to attend a very exclusive private school in the 8^th grade. This school happened to have a computer AND access to a block of time at a better computer over at General Electric. This was 1968 folks. Bill gates, a driven and tech-savvy braniac just happened to fall ass-backwards into a situation where he could learn to program computers at a time when really no one else in the country could do the same. Talk about a head start! Sure, he made a lot of good decisions that made him wealthy, but none of that would have put him where he is without the one in ten million chance he started out with.

So, quit whining. You're not going to change this economic constant. Go back to whatever you do for a living, or figure out what that's going to be. Do your best, hope for some good luck, and remember...as Denis Leary said, “Life sucks, wear a helmet.”

© 2011 Raymond Smith

To Fist a Mockingbird

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 20:18:00 +0000

The United States and its allies have had increasing levels of success over the years with the tracking down and killing of ‘big fish’ terrorists. In 2006, an Air Strike clinched the U.S. leveling up victory against a boss as Abu Musab Al Zarqawi was bombified. In 2011, the bulk of the western world nearly had an orgasm when a SEAL team was sent to where Usama’s Bin Hiding. With terrorists getting pwned like little newbs front left and center, the ‘gotcha bitch’ de résistance was the whacking of Anwar Al Awlaki who was pimp slapped by a Hellfire missile after eating breakfast and going for a drive. As Americans we absolutely love this. It’s that image of the eagle sharpening its talons and half a bazillion albums worth of Toby Keith songs finally getting their due. But, no matter how big a collective erection we get over these hard fought victories over the dark lords, there is something just a little bit itchy underneath this Stars and Stripes codpiece. It’s probably not legal. Not only is it not legal, if it weren’t for it being wrapped in the bacon of “War on Terror”, there is no way in hell Americans, or anyone else eat this filet mignon.

It’s easy for us to accept it though. We killed Usama Bin Laden. And we did in a bad-ass Hollywood fashion. He was known beyond a shadow of a doubt as the leader of the world’s most feared terrorist organization. Youtube has been awash for years in Awlaki made recruiting videos. He’s known to have incited terrorism all over the world including the Fort Hood shootings. Zarqawi led the insurgency in Iraq, responsible for countless car bombings, suicide attacks, and shoe throwings. These guys were undisputed heavyweight bad guys. And as long as you look at it that way, you’ll never get passed the GWOT film over your eyes. So let’s look at it another way…change of venue.

Hokay..so…a Taiwanese drug lord, responsible for hundreds of murders in mainland China had immigrated to the United States on a visa. He’s not really on our radar for any real reason so who cares. He’s not our problem. The Chinese government wants this guy something fierce and diplomatic efforts through the State Department to have the FBI go look for him haven’t really gotten anywhere because we’re just too busy. “Yes, yes, China we know. He’s here somewhere and you really don’t like him but we’ve got other stuff to do.” So the Chinese manage to find a doctor who has financial problems and happens to live where they suspect this guy is. They pay him to start a ‘free’ clinic to give flu shots. Meanwhile, the good doctor is sending back DNA samples to the Chinese to confirm this dude’s presence. Then, one night, when it’s dark and quiet, a Chinese helicopter enters the United States under radar from Mexico, unloads a bunch of Chinese special forces (Ninjas maybe) who engage in a gun battle inside an American neighborhood, kill the guy and exfil with the body.

If this happened, you…would…lose…your…mind. And we would very likely end up at war with China. But this is pretty much exactly the scenario surrounding the take-down of UBL. Why don’t we have a problem with it? We don’t because we just really really really wanted him. And so that makes it okay. But it doesn’t.

At the end of WWII, and after the fall of the German Reich, the manhunt was on for anyone who’d been a Nazi. During the occupation of Germany, there were several splinter groups still burning the candle for Adolf andcommitting acts of violence. None of these people fell victim to military air strikes. Nor were they summarily executed in their homes. They were arrested. In 2003, the U.S and some BFF’s declared war on Iraq. That is, they declared war on the government of Iraq. After the cessation of hostilities between sovereign powers came to an end, the war (like WWII), was over. The Iraqi people began fashioning a new government, and during that process there popped up a lot really nasty insurgents. These insurgents had a habit of murdering other Iraqi citizens and coalition military as well. There’s another word for these guys: “Criminals”. Abu Musab Al Zarqawi was at home with his family when an airplane dropped a bomb on his house, killing him, along with his wives and their child. Why didn't someone just arrest him? Timothy McVeigh was an insurgent within a sovereign nation who had killed a lot of people by bombing and would likely have continued to do so. The U.S. didn’t ask Canada to drop a bomb on his house. The U.S. arrested him. What about the Unabomber? I don’t remember any JDAMS being used on him either.

Awlaki was an American citizen who was suspected of inciting other people to commit crimes. He was never indicted by a grand jury, or charged with a crime. As an American citizen, like the rest of us, he is protected by the 5^th amendment for due process. He as the right to face his accuser in a court of law and be tried by a jury of his peers. He was nowhere near any battle field. Just because the President ordered it, and congressional oversight approved it, doesn’t mean it was legal. If this was legal, it would be no different if we’d carried out an airstrike on Roman Polanski who was living in France. At least Roman had been convicted of something. If Awlaki was not connected to terrorism, which seems to be a green light word for ‘do whatever the hell you want’, I would guess the American people would have a out and out collective shit-fit. If he’d been an L.A. based drug lord, directly responsible for numerous murders, and had fled abroad, you would not likely cheer as loud for a military lead execution based on suspicion of wrong doing.

The fog of the word “terrorism” seems to cloud our eyes and engender a spirit of “The end justifies the means” amongst a large percentage of a population that would otherwise decry such behavior as contrary to the idea of the “rule of law” at the least, or even barbaric. As a nation that does road shows the world over, pushing the critical value of the rule law as an essential underpinning of a free state, it bothers me that we are willing to overlook it so easily just because we really really don’t like this particular flavor of criminal. I’m happy that these people are dead and can do no more harm. But I think we, as Americans, need to take a hard look at who we are before we become what twisted those we fight. We need to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves

Rock Paper Scissors

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 21:17:00 +0000

Many years ago (either thousands or millions or something like that) the only known method of food preparation commonly put into practice around the globe was basically one of two methods:

1) Whack or stab something until it died and put it in your mouth, or,

B) Pull something that doesn't appear poisonous out of the ground and put it in your mouth.

Over time, people (and by people I'm guessing women) figured out that if you use the fire that men invented you could transform raw food materials into something that was actually pleasurable to consume. Before long, some genius Neolithic chemist invented leavened bread. Bam!! The world was now a place full of culinary concoctions that would baffle the human imagination. Ten minutes later, an even greater genius figured out how to ferment it. The world had its first real vice.

The Greeks (or Spartans) first started enjoying the squishing of grapes through their toes and the taste of wine around 4500BC. The Persians first started brewing beer (good beer, not like Coors) somewhere around 3500 BC. By the middle ages, when most of Europe had decided it was fashionable to live in huge cities with no sanitation systems, and basically advanced to an unlivable cesspool, fermented beverages had become pretty much the only liquid someone could consume without it killing them. By about 1100, monks in Ireland and Scotland figured out how to produce whiskey, and at the same time destroy any chance of either culture leveling up past bar-room drunk. Fast forward a few hundred years and the vice that was booze was pretty much the favored libation in some form or another in every household, palace, mud hut, or wigwam around the globe.

When Europeans gallantly discovered the already discovered and inhabited lands of North America, the Indians not from India that lived there knew that, due to a vast technological delta in weaponry, there was only one shot at killing off the English squatters: They introduced them to tobacco. (That whole peace pipe thing was just a joke, Powhatan was trying to give John Smith cancer.) Smoking tobacco was an instant success in European court and became the overnight designer drug of the 1700s. It was so popular that even in the 1950's one would not find it uncommon to come across advertisements touting doctor recommended cigarettes.

Now, this may not be news to a few of people, but all of these things have something in common: They are bad for you and they are all a drug. We all know they are bad for you depending on how much you consume, blah blah blah. Alcohol was temporarily and laughing sort of halted in America after the Volstead Act of 1919, but after a few years, and backed by overwhelming popular demand, was back on the menu. The people had spoken; we like our vices, and that's final.

But something is missing from this list. Sneaking along in hit or miss popular use since about 2500BC was a little fast growing plant called cannabis. Various cultures from China to South America and everywhere in between had been smoking this stuff, either connected with some sort of ritual to celebrate something cool no one could remember, or just as an inspiration for Thracian Taco Bell throughout most of recorded history. And like the other drugs I've already mentioned, it's...brace yourself...bad for you. That's why it's illegal. Wait, what?

Why is Mary Jane illegal while booze, smokes, bacon fat, Twinkies, and Woopi Goldberg are not? It must be worse. Yeah that's it. If you smoke cigarettes you could get cancer, but if you smoke pot you'll grow a third eye in your ass (think about that...and how bad that would really, really be). Nope, that's not it. It's not as bad for you as too much sugar. Maybe it leads to violence and crime. We wouldn't want that on the streets right? Oh wait, we already have booze. The truth is that Marijuana is not illegal for any real moral or health reason. It's illegal because of Nylon.

The Marihuana Tax Act of 1937 made possession and transfer of cannabis illegal. The act was heavily supported by the newspapers owned by William Randolph Hearst. Hearst was in bed with Andrew Mellon (Secretary of the Treasury and richest man in the world), and the Du Pont Family. Mellon was heavily invested in the Du Pont's new synthetic fiber, Nylon, and Hearst, in addition to newspapers, was a timber mogul. Their collective target was the hemp plant, which produces excellent natural fibers, is renewable, and grows faster than timber. But no one in their right mind is going to pass a law against super-paper. They needed to make America afraid of something...and fast.

Hearst's newspapers began running many articles vilifying cannabis as a scourge on society and specifically emphasized marijuana’s connection to violent crime. Yeah, they actually managed to convince the general public that a drug that could sedate Genghis Khan was leading people to rape, murder and attack midgets. Popular opinion swayed...check, congressman lobbied, check, point, set, match. Marijuana is evil, it will kill us all. So, grab your pitchforks, believe everything you read, run to the polls. The drug and it's bitch of sister, hemp, were duly criminalized so all the children would be safe from sleepy-eyed pot heads looking for a snack.

In the end Hearst was kind of right, he just didn't know it. Marijuana actually is connected to violent crime. It started when Hearst and his fiber-rich colleagues managed to criminalize it, and the war on drugs became mainstream news...which Hearst could report in his newspapers. Since 1937, hundreds of thousands of people have been killed and billions of dollars have been wasted in and against the trafficking of one of the slightest threats to civilization in recorded history. The war on marijuana has to be the dumbest undertaking since Hadrian tried to keep the Romans out of Scotland by building a 3-foot wall.

Never doubt the power of the media to galvanize the sheep against the goats.

Did You Have the Fish?

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 20:56:00 +0000

The really hot news anchor lady looks at me dead in the eye during the 30 second news teaser that precedes my show about dueling barbers and says, “Is our air traffic control system truly safe? Before you get on another plane; what you need to know at 10!” It was just one of many reactions in the media and elsewhere that have popped up like some sort of spastic whack-a-mole to the recent reports of ATC employees neglecting their duties by either sleeping, or watching a movie, or doing needle point (or whatever ATC dudes do). Be afraid, citizens! Your thinking talking heads have spoken! Now: Everybody panic.

Okay, I get it. Sensationalism sells news. That’s not new, but a modicum of journalistic integrity wouldn’t be a complete disservice to the boob-tube adhesed proletariat. Do the writers down at the local Baltimore station really believe that our nation’s air traffic control system is so fatally flawed that I am risk for even thinking of striding down the birth-canal of rapid transit that is the jet-way at my local terminal? Of course they don’t think that, but they make a lot of people who believe the ATC system is populated by a collection of magic fairies think it’s true.

The problem is that the going public doesn’t really just stop going. That would actually make some sense in the realm of respect for causality. Instead, the angry mob that still wants to be able to go from Upper Sandusky, OH to San Francisco for less money than a tank of gas for a Hummer H2 in 4 hours without the slightest of inconvenience (if only the Donner party were still alive to see us today) demands that anyone and everyone who was within 6 miles of the offending ATC facility be fired, drummed out of service, tarred and feathered, and drawn and quartered. I think people should embrace a little perspective here. Here we go.

Just last week, two Cleveland Center controllers who were working the graveyard shift were suspended for watching a DVD movie. Granted, it’s dumb and they shouldn’t have been doing it. A couple of weeks before that there were several incidents reported involving late-night tower controllers having been asleep at their posts. Wrong? Yeah…cataclysmic? Hardly. Everyone and their brother jumped up and vilified these people for dozing off at nearly 3 a.m. at a tower where no planes were doing anything…at all…for hours. So who is it that’s crying foul?

I would venture a guess that at least 90 percent of my dear friends on Facebook have fallen asleep at their desk (or work-equivalent for those who are fortunate enough not to have to have a desk) at least once in their career. I know that most of them have spent time during their duty cycle playing a game on their computer, watching videos of people falling off skateboards, or any hundred of a thousand different interweb time-wasters. But, oh, that’s right, that’s not a big deal because these guys hold the lives of thousands of people in their hands with each deft motion of their lips at that microphone. Actually…not so much.

The VAST majority of airports in this and every other country do not have a control tower. Of the ones that do, there are hundreds of commercial airports, supporting big fat airplanes that shut down their towers at night. And get a load of this: There are procedures that every pilot knows for landing at uncontrolled (non-towered) airports. What? How can it be possible for an airplane to land on a runway, all by itself, without being talked down like the Apollo 11 Moon lander? Well, for starters, the pilot can see. That helps. Also he knows how to land a plane, definitely a bonus, oh…and check this out…this is the best part: The pilot of an airliner has a gajillion dollars-worth of equipment on his plane to de-conflict him with other airplanes and help him land it all nice and smoothy-like! In reality, it’s probably safer to just leave it to the pilots than involve the controllers.

As for the center controllers; do you even know what they do? They spend most of their time simply keeping IFR aircraft talking on the right frequencies. Those planes they are controlling are in lanes and separated out by altitude blocks corresponding to direction of travel. The planes are equipped with devices that broadcast their position to other airplanes (The equipment is required). They have lights. They are big. They are shiny, the make big white streams of cloud behind them. Oh, and did I mention pilots aren’t typically clinically blind? Basically, it’s really hard at 35,000 feet to hit an airplane with another airplane.

I would never postulate that ATC controllers at centers and towers don’t provide a critical function for public safety. It’s just not that big a deal if one of them loses focus for a bit in the wee hours of the morning. Think about this; most of you will text while driving after reading this and still cast aspersions on decent ATC workers who lost their jobs for the same kind of thing most Americans do at work every day. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a report that’s due but there’s a video of a roller-skating pig over at The Chive.com I need to check out.

Safe travels my friends…chances are…they will be.

Support the Family of a Fallen Hero

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 22:19:00 +0000

MSgt John Benner--Friend, husband, father, brother in arms--lost a long running battle with pancreatic cancer on 15 Feb 2011. He is survived by his loving wife Debbie and children Zach and Lilly. Please show your support and make a donation to help them in this extremely difficult time.

Saturn May Have Been Onto Something

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 13:58:00 +0000

What seems like 300 years ago when I met Big D, I was working construction and living in an apartment with my brother. I made $8/hour and spent pretty much the bulk of that on rent, bills, pizza and beer. Well, you could call it beer--Keystone light was the beer substitute I could afford in any measurable quantity. When D and I got married and joined the service, we started out in a one-bedroom apartment. We had her 14 year-old car that she had paid cash for with money she’d made waiting tables after high school. (You’ll have to ask my sister what happened to my car) Alexis’ crib was under the dinning area light next to the kitchen. We had a bed, a card table, some handed down pots/pans, etc., and …well that’s about it. Our disposable income after bills, gas, and food was about $30/month which we would use to rent the occasional movie. And we were happier than a fat kid with a spoon and a jar of paste. (No offense Josh)

Now this isn’t intended to be some “up hill both ways” post. We were also not alone in our situation…all our friends were in the same boat. It’s just how it was; it was how you started out. “Starting out” being the key phrase here. You left home under whatever circumstances, maybe you had a little parental starter kit, but for the most part were on your own to scrape and scratch together a living. The best thing about it was that there was nowhere to go but up, and having basically nothing was the greatest incentive in the world to work hard, get promoted, get educated, and make it better. The current generation of young people starting out seems to have an entirely different set of expectations.

18-20 year-old kids today want it all, and they think they’re supposed to have it walking out the door. The entitlement mentality issued to them by the boob-tube has them thinking that you are required to have a six-figure income, fancy car, omni-tron T.V., a bustling social ’lifestyle’, and all the responsibilities of a s 6-year-old hedge hog. So, what follows is a few tips and pointers for all the young people just getting their first taste of that freedom from their evil parents they’ve been longing for.

Do this first. Walk around your parent’s house. Notice I said ’parent’s’ house because as much as you may believe that everything around you is your personal field of green to use and abuse with impunity, I assure you it isn’t. You will notice a lot of nice things. There’s likely a nice T.V., nice furniture, a reasonably spacious accommodation, cable entertainment and internet, etc. Outside a few exceptions to the rule, all of this stuff did not well-up from a magic hole in the ground so your parent’s could pluck it like Manna from heaven when they were 22. They accumulated all of it over the course of your life by working very hard for years and years and years. And none of it is yours, so maybe you should start appreciating it.
Assess your job skills. You don’t have any. In case you are wondering why the saint of an employer who agreed to take a risk by paying you to be a productive cog in his/her machine of his/her dreams isn’t willing to pay you $45/hour to take the trash out and mop floors, this is why. The only reason they are paying you minimum wage is that they have to. Your contributions to their evil corporate empire are likely to be worth about half of that…if you’re lucky.
Understand that your social life is not the center of anyone’s world but yours. It’s in everyone else’s way. Your parents tolerate the narcissistic emotional mean attraction that is your life-consuming gregariousness with more patience than a Cambodian landmine waiting for a goat. Your budding romance is annoying.
Your high school education makes you smarter than a lot of people. You already know this. What you don’t know is the actual demographic--I will help you. Your HS diploma is a certification that you are smarter than: A) Everyone who doesn’t have one. B) No one else. Contrary to what you’ve allowed yourself to believe because your teacher lauded you for your last writing assignment, or by that debate you won with arguments you Googled, you actually…truly…I mean really really really really…don’t know shit.
Moving out of your parent’s house is not going to be a sweet release into nirvana. (And yes, nirvana is a word that actually means something, it’s not just a bad band from the 90’s). If you think the world of your parent’s making is ‘oppressing your free expression’ and ‘smothering you with rules’, wait until you get out of it and into your own world. It will wrinkle your mind! All that time you thought you were going to have for heavy petting and kanoodeling with your heart-throb romantic interest--yeah there isn’t going to be any. If you’re going to college, you will be spending every waking second either working, studying, or taking care of your apartment so that your roommates don’t evict you. And yes, you will have roommates because otherwise you will starve to death. Oh, and roommates could give two shits about your social life either…they just want you to pay your bills and do your share of the house work.
Life experience: You don’t have any of that either. All that stuff your parent’s tell you that you think is unreasonable, stupid, and just because they just ‘don’t understand you’, is actually real knowledge that they picked up over many years by making choices--some good, some bad, but they learned something over the years and they’re trying to help you cut that corner. There is only one thing your parent’s haven’t learned: Trying to help you won’t work because you’re arrogant and all-knowing and insist upon learning hard lessons the hard way. So…knock yourself out. But in a few years (hopefully you’re not in jail, dead, or a single parent), you’ll realize that they actually knew what they were talking about.

Of the few people who read this, some will agree with me and others will lambaste me as a complete fool. Those people fall in to two categories respectively: Old bastards like me who know stuff, and under 20’s that will think I’m full of shit because they already know everything. So I guess I probably should have just spent my morning eating pie instead of writing this because it won’t make a lick of difference.

© Raymond Smith 2010

You'll Put Your Eye Out!

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 14:40:00 +0000

"The free man owns himself. He can damage himself with either eating or drinking; he can ruin himself with gambling. If he does he is certainly a damn fool...but if he may not, he is not a free man any more than a dog" --G.K. Chesterton

I never thought I would say this in a million years. But, last week, the Mayor of San Francisco, Gavin Newsom, actually did something reasonable, sensible, and intelligent. Of course, a week later he was undone by his own city council, but at least we can give him points for trying. I may actually lay a golden egg for writing this, but….wait for it…there are actually people in this world more liberal than the Mayor of San Francisco! Yeah. I think I just divided by zero.

During the November elections, San Francisco law makers approved a city ordinance that would ban fast food restaurants from including toys in kid’s meals unless those meals met a certain standard for healthiness. I would put the figures for actual healthiness here but I don’t want to and because your Google works just as well as mine. Anyway, the week after the elections, Mayor Newsom, defying the laws of man and god, vetoed the measure saying, “That law is totally gay.” (He didn’t say that, but that would have been really funny if he had.) Not to be outdone, the city counsel promptly brushed other, less important city business to the side in order to rally in support of the measure. Because, honestly, if one more week went by it could be your child killed by a Happy Meal. The counsel voted to overturn Boromir and allow Frodo and Sam to take the ring to…wait…what just happened.

So let it be written, so let it be done! The good city of San Fran has saved your children from salt and fat and badness of all types by keeping your child from being tempted by the $.04 treasures that accompany the junk food we’ve enjoyed by choice for over a thousand years. (That’s an estimate) That’s one way of looking at it, here’s another: The city of San Fransicko has decided that you are not responsible enough to raise your own children in the manner you see fit. You are not smart enough to decide how often your kid should be allowed to eat this or that. You are stupid and the city must step in and do your thinking and your choice-making for you--you poor miserable uneducated stupid citizen. And sadly, there is a lot of this country that doesn’t see a problem with this.

Have we really ascended to such an advanced stage of progressive enlightenment as to be willing to abdicate our personal liberties and responsibilities to a higher “thinking body” just to satiate our laziness? Month after month we hand over more and more of our right to choose so that the government, be it local or federal, can make those choices for us. Several years ago people thought it was pure insanity when New York City first banned smoking inside places of business. Now it’s everywhere. We have laws telling us what we can eat and drink, and what restaurants can put in your food. Our noble fathers keep us safe with helmet laws, seat belt laws, bicycle laws, and yes…roller skating laws.

There is a proposed law in Missouri to force liquor stores to only sell beer over 60°F (not the outside temperature, I’m talking about the temp of the beer itself). Some brain trust thinks this will curb drunk driving. There are taxes on unhealthy ingredients in food. Laws stipulating the portion sizes restaurants can serve. Have you heard of ‘Keg Tracking”? Your beer keg has a GPS device to track your movements. Someone thinks this will stem underage drinking. Playgrounds have “No Running” signs. Normal childhood games, like Tag and Redrover, have been banned because there is the potential that your precious little snowflake might not return home from school in the package-perfect, unopened collector’s condition in which you sent him. At what point is the general proletariat going to accept compulsory bubble-wrap before we are allowed to venture outside of our choice-proofed safety dwellings (government approved) to ride the seatbelt-secured walking-speed personal conveyance system (government supplied) to get to the grocery store where you can purchase four different flavors of ‘Food’.

The entire country is going to look like it was gobbled up by Fisher Price and we’re going to be eating USDA Choice Soilent Green! DAMN IT!!!!

People need to be free to live their lives. They need to be able to make their choices and live and learn from the consequences of those choices. If you want to be a paragon of health, have fun. If you want to be a fat lazy bastard with Cheetos hiding under your man-boobs--go nuts. The best part of life is living it, enjoying it, taking the risks you want and not taking the ones you don’t. If you want to smoke…smoke. You know the risks, but you’re a grown ass man so do what you want. You want to really live on the edge and drive to the mail box without wearing your seat belt…be extreme my friend! Get down with your bad self and put a little ketchup on that corndog so that it can reach its full goodness potential.

I’m not a fan of Woody Allen’s movies, or his glasses, or his voice, or well, mostly Woody Allen, but I do like this quote from him, “I could live to be a hundred, but I’d have to give up everything that would make me want to.”

So stop letting your lawmakers stop your fun! And for those of you worried about the consequences of other people doing stupid shit that can hurt them: Dr. Darwin is always there waiting to take care of them in his own, special way. That, and there’s Youtube.

God's Lovely Turnip

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 14:39:00 +0000

Last week Big D and I had the opportunity of visiting Monticello. For those that don’t keep up on the large houses of old dead rich white dudes, Monticello was the home of Thomas Jefferson back when he was writing really wordy things and making mulatto babies. The house and grounds are both impressive and T.J. was an impressive man. That said, there was still a glaring contradiction about his life that no one during the tour was able to completely reconcile. How could the man who wrote the operating system for the freedom of all people own slaves his whole life? The tour guide (who was actually quite knowledgeable) attempted to speak to this, but didn’t really have any answers. And there’s something else. How is it that 250 years later we still haven’t learned a damn thing from it?

The efforts behind the Declaration of Independence were a grass-roots movement to break from one of the longest held traditions in human history: The idea that person’s worth and station in life was issued at birth. The American soon-to-be traitors to the crown had an interesting idea; that everyone born into this world should be afforded the right to go about their life in the manner of their choosing, and so long as they don’t try to hinder someone else from doing the same, make their way however they saw fit. T.J. penned a document clearly stating that people should be free to practice any religion tickled their nipple, adhere to whatever values enriched their lives, and basically get their business done without the government putting it’s wiener in their chili about what god they pray to, what color is their favorite, or whether they like to date fat women or not.

As most people are aware, approximately six seconds after the ink dried on the Declaration, the sky opened up and started raining big fat turds of hypocrisy as more than 80% of the old white dudes drafting up these lofty notions of utopia owned and mistreated human beings, and beat their wives for not cleaning the microwave oven after cooking ox tales. (That really messes up the nuke) But we managed to evolve beyond this contravention…eventually and with a bit of a skirmish in the mid-late 1860s. So smooth seas on the good ship Freedom after that right? Yeah….no.

Freedom of religion was a major tenet of the DoI. (Most people don’t know that John Adams tried like hell to include verbiage decrying Jefferson as “A giant doosh.) Religious values go with religion (Yeah, I know, it didn’t take a rocket surgeon to come up with that) The majority of colonists at the time were puritanical Christians who’s morals and values led them to lead exciting lives wrought with adventures like “Missionary Position” and rumpus sex for the sole purpose of procreation. They were expressing their religious freedom. And what’s the first order of business when celebrating religious freedom: Organize the government around your idea of God and hammer out a 36 volume set of laws establishing protestant values as a legal framework for America. Okay, something doesn’t match up.

Why is polygamy and bigamy against the law? Why are we having legal battles over whether gays and lesbos can get married? Why is prostitution illegal? Who decided that the nuclear family of the 1950’s was the only unit of ménage acceptable within our legal system? These laws come from the moral underpinnings taken from a snapshot through a window of time in human history. They reflect the values of Puritan Protestant Christians between 1600-1800. In fact, all of these practices (and a lot of others) existed for centuries under Christianity, Judaism, and Islam and were perfectly acceptable. So how did the greatest endeavor for freedom and enlightenment turn right around and impose a singular religious will on society and its legal framework? But, more importantly, why are we still freaking doing it?

If one man is crazy enough to think that it’s a good idea to have ask for a kitchen pass from three nagging women (I mean, beautiful maidens of goodness and virtue) what do I care? Does their goofy 4-person marriage somehow stand in the way of my life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness? A couple of years ago the feds and local cops in Texas (pronounced ’Tayhas’) raided a compound of polygamists, took their children away, threw the men in jail, and basically up-ended their entire apple cart and made a hot mess of it. And what evil did they uproot? What pestilence of human misery did the stalwart do-gooders save us all from? These people were just living their lives in accordance with their values. Their children were loved, cared for, and educated. While their pursuit of life, liberty and happiness was unconventional, it worked for them. Were their kids likely to grow up and rob convenience stores to buy meth?

People make the argument that a gay couple can’t raise well adjusted children. Because, yeah, heterosexuals are doing a bang-up job of that lately. I’d hazard to guess that a loving couple of flamers or lipstick lesbians has a much better shot at raising a rug-rat to become a productive member of society than a single hetro-mother of six on welfare with a cocaine habit. And that’s not even the real point. Does their way of life get in the way of yours? What are they taking from you? How is it that a polygamists values are criminal because they differ from yours? How does some dude paying for sex impact your financial future? What do you care? I may not like your way of life and you may not like mine. That’s the beauty of this place…or at least it was supposed to be.

This country was founded on the principle that anyone should be able to go about their life in the manner of their choosing, so long as they don’t hurt the poor saps around them trying to eek out a living of their own. Yet still, 200 years later, as the fabric of American destiny includes threads that follow religions ranging from Scientology to Eckankar and the whole VHF spectrum of values, we continue to allow our laws to reflect the values of one religion…and even that one only selectively. This is America, the land of the free…so long as you prescribe to the values of Christian European dissidents of the 1700’s. If you want to celebrate freedom, try just living your life and letting someone else do the same. Because that, my friends, is America.

© Raymond Smith 2010

Tobi Keith for President

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 12:20:00 +0000

Folks: This is why the Republican Party comes off as a bunch of backwards hicks.

Kurt XXXXXXX I want Obama to look directly in the faces of families who lost loved
ones on 911 and the military families who lost there loved ones fighting
those terrorists after that and tell them he supports a Mosque at
ground zero! That's it for me...Impeach now!!!!

...

http://www.Facebook/

www.Facebook

4 hours ago · Comment · · Share · Report

4 people like this.
- Raymond Smith I get that it may not be a well thought out decision for the owners of the mosque to 'want' to put it there, but unless someone re-wrote the bill of rights last night, we still enjoy freedom of religion in this country. They have just as much right to purchase private property, file the same zoning permits and put a mosque there as any other religion with any other church.
  4 hours ago · ·
- John XXXXXXX
  zoning rule #1 To promote and protect the health, safety, comfort, morals, welfare, convenience and necessity of the public. The public is generally uncomfortable and think its morally wrong for this to be in "this location". if the govt wasn't bought and paid for they would do their jobs and stop this. following the zoning rules and leave the religion part out of it would be a great idea.
  4 hours ago ·
- Raymond Smith
  That is a ludicrous argument. I'm pretty sure the 1st amendment trumps a local zoning guideline. (one which I suspect you just made up) Do you think the general public is thrilled to death to have the Westboro Baptist Church in their backyard? If this organization isn't violating a law through the practice of it's religion then it has the legal right, as much as any other church, to practice there, period...and there is absolutely no law, state, local, or federal that would prevent them from doing so.
  
  The zoning rules exist to ensure that commercial enterprises don't intrude on residential, etc. If this was a Christian church, would you care? Leave the religion out of it? That's all your pissed about. If ANY church of ANY kind would be allowed to operate there, so can this one.
  
  Yes, it's a 'bought and paid for government' that's allowing a group of faith-seekers to exercise their constitutional right to build a church. That's the dumbest thing I've read in at least a month.
  3 hours ago · ·
- Kurt XXXXXX
  Ray. Yes, I understand your argument. However, putting the mosque 2 blocks from ground zero is a extremely poor decision. At some point someone has to say "enough" and stop this. Perhaps we could put some big pictures inside the mosque of the terrorists that committed this act? Then we could say that they were martyrs against the west and heroes of Islam. Would this be enough? Yes, the bill of rights needs to be addressed here.
  
  The second amendment provides the right to bear arms. Do you think that means it's OK to carry weapons into a school and start killing the innocent? No, our forefathers would be absolutely appalled at what this country has become. Granted I wasn't there when it was written however, I'm sure that this was NOT the intent. Someone MUST exercise their civic RESPONSIBILITY!! and call for a re-write or analysis of the bill of rights. However, you as well as I, know that no one will agree on what to do. That is called politics. That is why Obama is holding the safety of AZ and the Nation hostage because he can't get of his a** and make congress and the house address this issue. What then. Will it take the Martyrs brigade marching thru the border going to Wal-mart to buy weapons to facilitate committing crimes and kill people because they have rights?? more to follow...
  3 hours ago ·
- Donnie XXXXXX You're wrong Raymond, it was a WELL THOUGHT out decision by the owners of the mosque. Just as it was a WELL THOUGHT out decision to take down the towers and park a plane in the Pentagon. Had it been a bunch Catholics, Baptists or Protestants that took down the towers I'd be just as pissed. Another difference being you can visit any demonination church you'd like without joining. Try going to Mosque to visit and see if you can get in.
  3 hours ago ·
- Kurt XXXXX I'm tired of hearing that people have rights and they are not LEGAL citizens of this country. I have rights!!!
  
  Yes this is the same thing as building a mosque in NYC. The bill of rights is outdated and antiquated. It needs revision.
  3 hours ago ·
- John XXXXXX When you reach a point in which law trumps common sense and the will of the people....then your on the verge of collapse. Were almost there.
  3 hours ago ·
- Raymond Smith
  ‎@Donnie: Unless I missed a memo or news report somewhere, I'm pretty sure the owners and parishioners of this mosque weren't the people who brought down the towers. I'm fairly certain that it was a terrorist organization based in the Middle East. You do realize that not all Muslims are terrorists right? You really need to re-read the bigotry you just wrote mate. That's the same way of thinking that motivated the people who attacked our country.
  
  @Kurt: You're tired of hearing how people have rights? How sad for you. You say you are a patriot of a country the most important strength of which is its rights, but you want to take those rights from someone of a different faith and ethnicity than you?
  
  @John: When you reach the point that ignorant hatred, xenophobia, and bigotry trump the rule of law you have chaos. Justice falls by the way-side and the only people left are the people of hate...that would be people like you and Al Qaeda.
  
  All three of you need to take a breath, put your hatred back into your pockets for a minute, and really re-read the things you've just written. You call yourselves Americans, yet you're championing everything that's wrong with the world and wholly un-American.
  
  The terrorists hearts are twisted, and you will become the same as that which twisted them.
  2 hours ago · ·
- John XXXXXX Ok ray... basically your reference to me and Al Qaeda is pretty out of line. Being prior military and considering you know nothing about me , it leads me to believe you could be an incredible prick. Please bleed somewhere else
  2 hours ago · · 1 person
- Donnie XXXXX
  Unless I missed the memo, if ANYONE builds a memorial, that is what this mosque is, near someplace that has deep seated wounds with someone else. that pretty much tells me that they are spitting on the very people that protect their right to build such a thing.
  
  How do you know that these folks don't have ties to the ones that brought down the towers?
  
  Let me guess, you voted for Obama didn't you?
  
  You don't have to answer that one.
  2 hours ago ·
- Raymond Smith
  ‎@ John: My reference to you and Al Qaeda is accurate. You think they way they think. You and people like you are part of the problem. You're prior military? Well I guess it's good that you're out, because I don't need ignorant hate-mongers in the military I still serve.
  
  @ Donnie: A Mosque is not a memorial, it's a place of worship for people of the Muslim Faith. And they are Americans too. Did you miss that one? Are you aware that over 350 Muslims died in the WTC? Do you know how many Muslims fight in the U.S. Military in Afghanistan?
  
  There is absolutely no merit whatsoever to either of your arguments. They don't even pass the test of the most basic logic. You're just spouting rhetoric and bullshit. Clearly neither of you have the faintest idea of what you're even trying to talk about.
  
  You're so ignorant that you've even mistaken me for a liberal...fools. Your arguments aren't conservative, they're retarded. Real conservatives believe in America, the United States Constitution, and the rule of law.
  
  Let me guess, you were too lazy to research a candidate and just voted for whomever Sean Hannity told you to vote for.
  
  And no, I didn't vote for Obama.
  2 hours ago · · 2 people ·
- Jason XXXXXX
  I think we are losing focus here...I dont have a legal right to say what can be build or where (just like all of you as well), I think it would be in extremely poor taste to build it that close. I think the 60 plus percent of New Yorkers (that said the didnt want it that close) should have a say in the matter though.
  
  But, during this argument today the US has lost atleast one more soldier and other coalition forces have had atleast one casualty in Afghanistan as well, trying to fight the war that started this arguement.
  about an hour ago ·
- Donnie XXXXXX
  You Raymond are the f'n idiot. It's people like you in the military that has caused it to go downhill the way it has.
  
  I served my 22 yrs in the Air Force so I know quite well what I was fighting for and sure as hell it wasn't so someone could come in here and slap us in the face. But hey, it's the kindler, gentler America now. Let's just open the broders and let them all in. Oh that's right, NObama is trying to do that also.
  
  I should have said, that is what THIS mosque is. You know damn good and well that if anybody were to go to their country and try and build a church what would happen.
  
  You're not worth my time anymore.
  20 minutes ago · · 1 person
- Raymond Smith
  I'm so glad I don't live in their country. I'm glad I live in this country where people respect each other (or, at least we used to) and actually believe in our own constitution and our code of laws. I would rather the mosque wasn't built there. I would rather the owners did it in a location less inflammatory. But, taking measure to prevent them from doing so is exactly the same thing that goes on in the countries you hate.
  
  You just said it yourself...good grief, I can't believe you can't see it. You just said that basically their countries suck because they do EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO...prevent a religion other than your own from exercising it's rights.
  
  How do you not fall down more?
  a few seconds ago · ·

Thoth Was Telling Porky Pies

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 15:47:00 +0000

Sitting at my desk yesterday forced to endure endless repetitions of circular news on the office television, I was treated to the opportunity to witness the compelling story of Lindsay Lohan being sentenced to jail for whatever jack-assery she's been up to since doing whatever she does that makes the world move. The other big story—breaking news that would change life on this planet as we know it was something about Mel Gibson fighting with his ex-girlfriend. These and the thousands of other inane non-events that the news outlets pretend have some sort of bearing on daily life, slanted stories vilifying BP, stock brokers, and the government, and the endless 'everybody panic' attempts at fear-mongering over whatever is going to kill us all, poison our children, and rape our grandparents begs the following question: When did the media turn from noble journalism, keeping the public informed of what's important, into a tabloid of sensationalist diarrhea?

I know what you're expecting from me right now. You're expecting me to wax-philosophic about a better time when journalists were honorable fact finders serving nothing but the public interest; serving as the 4th pillar of government and voice of the people. You would be wrong.

The up-ending of journalistic integrity didn't coincide with the creation of cable news and its “24 hour a day infotastic cluster-f$%k of factish like material” (America (The book), Jon Stewart, 2004). This isn't new. It started the first time someone with a printing press had to sell what he printed to make a living. And that's it—right there; news is a consumer product, not a public service. Think about that for a minute. There will be a quiz at the end.

The early years of journalism in America started with the publication of pamphlets while the British, on their quest to make the entire world drink tea and play Cricket (A game the English invented, only they understand, yet the whole world beats them at), were still trying to convince pesky colonists that they owed their allegiance to an insane property owner 3000 miles away. Notable pamphleteers included Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Pain, Alexander Hamilton, and Ben Franklin. Surely these cornerstones of the American foundation wouldn't print anything but the unadulterated truth, right? Yeah, not so fast.

Not only were these early saints of truth and light using their pamphlets to spread unmitigated fabrications about the British and all their evil plans to sacrifice goats and babies in public, they ruthlessly competed against each other for market share. Journalistic integrity? Fox News has more integrity and than Ben Franklin. These guys printed articles in their pamphlets specifically to tell readers how bad the other pamphleteers were and how no one should read that crap. (I think Alexander Hamilton actually wrote, “Thomas Jefferson is a fat syphilitic git who can't even spell his own name and he smells like a yak.” Though, that quote may be difficult to independently verify, so just take my word for it). Ben Franklin used to write 'letter's to the editor' under false names to praise his on publications and demonize the competition.

In 1728, in order for Ben and his partner in business to pwne* the local news market, Franklin wrote a series of essays under a pseudonym for a competing newspaper critical of the Pennsylvania Gazette, eventually driving it bankrupt. Then he bought it. Yeah, because you wouldn't get your short and curlies yanked into a lawsuit for that today. And they all did this stuff. They were in the business of selling a product. People didn't have ye olde www.getthynewsheare.com/britishsuck/colonistsrule/htm, so competition for a captive market was fierce, even more so in an economy where most people could really only afford to by one of these pamphlets. So they better buy yours. Okay, so they play to win, but they would have never misled the American people, right?

In 1770, Paul Revere decided to go at play in the fields of journalistic hedonism when he used (and by used I mean ripped off) a drawing by Henry Pelham to make an engraving of the events of the Boston Massacre that so accurately portrayed British tyranny that the whole of America jumped on board the 'Down with Britain and Man.U.' train. I'm kidding. The engraving and accompanying story printed by Benjamin Edes had about as many actual facts as a government report on how happy America is. They conveniently left out the part where hundreds of local colonists besieged a small customs house manned by less than 15 British soldiers for nearly 6 hours throwing snowballs and rocks until one of the soldiers was hurt quite badly, snapped, and opened fire. Oh yeah, and a BRITISH court found the soldiers who fired guilty of murder. That didn't make the papers either.

Paul Revere went on to later ride a horse and tell a bunch of people something about British troops going for a walk, and there was a lantern or something, I don't remember.

So before you post a sign telling people to get off your lawn and for those damn kids to turn that music down so you can reminisce about how the entire world was better up until 3 minutes ago when bad people who want to make a living came and ruined it all, take a look back at your history books, (or just use the interweb like I do) You'll be amazed to discover that, guess what: Corruption isn't new, people have always stolen from their neighbors, the concept of doing whatever it takes to make money wasn't invented by Bill Gates, and that, for all it's ills, the world you live in may not be going to hell as fast as you think.

* That's not a typo, either look it up or play more online games.
© Raymond Smith - 2010

I Want My Two Dollars!

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sat, 15 May 2010 12:52:00 +0000

When I was in high school, I took a job at the local newspaper in the mail room. The minimum wage at the time was $3.25/hour, which gave me enough money to put gas in my 1978 Mercury Capri, buy a couple of gigantic microwave burritos from Circle K®, and score a couple of beers off the guy at the Liquor World who could be easily persuaded by my thin, cabana-boy mustache to mistake me for the guy in the Dos Equis commercials. I know, I know...walked to school in snow all year 'round uphill both ways. Still, it wasn't much. But it was the right wage for a job that required the scholarly accolades common to those stuffing the B section of the paper into the A section.

In 2009, the nannies in Washington declared that everyone in the country should earn a 'living wage'. Whether you were a teenager, or a single parent of 6 boys named Irvin living in a single-wide dumpster, whatever job you have should pay you enough money to buy a small town home in the burbs and hire a hot French maid. Now, my daughter makes $7.15 an hour at her first job EVER and can probably afford to encrust fine zirconium decorations on her cell phone that for some reason I pay for.

Here's a little tip regarding the worth of your labor: Your work is worth what someone is willing to pay you to do it. That's it. Minimum Wage has got to be one of the most ill-conceived economic retard hugs this country has ever embraced. Labor, from the point of view of the laborer, is a service—a good to be traded. It is a good that is needed by the employer. Market forces would self-regulate this aspect of barter just as well as any other. If the owner of Pump 'N' Munch convenience store wants to pay $2.00 an hour for people to stare at the hot dog roller thingy and pretend to clean out the slurpy goop, he's going to get two kinds of employees: 0 employees, or workers that are worth about as much as a barrel of monkey nuts. Any would-be worker without 3 felony convictions for raping farm animals, or a penchant for hurling racial slurs at customers isn't going to work for that little. They don't have to because someone else is paying more. It's called market correction, and it works.

The establishment of a minimum wage removes a pivotal market variable from an economic model. Like the aggregate supply of produced goods and services, labor is a commodity to be bought by employers. When the aggregate demand for products and services falls, a surplus is subsequently seen in the aggregate supply, ceteris paribus. The company producing said products, creating the supply, will have to reduce production in order to bring the supply down and reestablish the equilibrium price. Reduced production will result in a reduced demand for labor and, directly, a surplus supply of labor. This will lead directly to a decrease in the market price for that labor. This would bring about a self correction in the labor market as workers not willing to work for prison wages without prison romance would seek other jobs.

Instead, we have the owner of The Dirty Hoe Garden Supply paying a king's ransom to some meth-crunching teenager to squirt water all over the parking lot. (I don't actually know if meth can be crunched) And as for the segment of the population that Minimum Wage is supposed to help: single parents with apparently no more skill than an adolescent manatee—they make up about 1% of those working minimum wage! You can look it up and www.google.com if you don't believe me. And if that's your situation, you need to re-think your direction in life because $7.15 an hour is no way to go through life my friend. Read a book, learn how to do something that puts you a cut above the average elder child! And if you're not willing to do that—to make a minimum effort to compete in a real work force, then you've made your own bed now lay with the dogs. (I think I screwed that metaphor up)

“Better if they had been born in the open pasture and suckled by a wolf, that they might have seen with clearer eyes what field they were called to labor in. Who made them serfs of the soil? Why should they eat their sixty acres, when man is condemned to eat only his peck of dirt?”

--Henry David Thoreau

Zo Notion: This man gets it!

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Thu, 13 May 2010 22:28:00 +0000

This Guy's got it, and he can talk it at ZoNation. Go there and see his vidoes...just click it...do it now!

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sat, 08 May 2010 20:05:00 +0000

Tonight We Dine in San Diego!

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 11:47:00 +0000

Mi nombre es Miguel Ernesto Rodríguez. Yo vine a los Estados Unidos desde Guatemala con mi familia hace tres años. Estamos orgullosos de nuestra patria, pero sólo pudo permanecer por más tiempo. Fue largo y peligroso viaje para cruzar el México. Pero valió la pena llegar a Estados Unidos para encontrar la paz y un buen trabajo. Cruzamos la frontera exterior de Nogales en junio. Tuvimos que pagar a estos hombres casi todo lo que teníamos que nos contrabando en Arizona. Yo trabajo como jornalero. Es un trabajo duro, pero nos paga lo suficiente para tener un pequeño apartamento y un coche que corre. Al menos los niños están a salvo e ir a una escuela americana bien. No me siento orgulloso de haber entrado en los Estados Unidos de esa manera que lo hicimos, pero me alegro de que estemos aquí. Este país es maravilloso.

Translated:

My name is Miguel Ernesto Rodriguez. I came to the United States from Guatemala with my family three years ago. We are proud of our homeland, but we just could stay for no longer. It was a long and dangerous journey to cross the Mexico. But it was worth it to get to America to find peace and a good job. We crossed the border outside of Nogales in June. We had to pay these men nearly all that we had to smuggle us into Arizona. I work as a day laborer. It's hard work, but pays us enough to have a small apartment and a car that runs. At least the children are safe and go to a good American school. I am not proud to have entered America the way that we did, but I am glad that we are here. This country is wonderful.

To: Miguel
From: Dante's Infuego

Get your shit and get out. You are a criminal in this country. Your very presence here constitutes a felony.

Sincerely,
Dante's Infuego

How is it that so many bleeding hearts in the country can sit quietly and tolerate what is essentially an armed invasion by a foreign sovereign nation? These hordes of people, encouraged by their governments, trample our laws and our culture by enveloping this land like one of the plagues of Egypt, and we do nothing. Why? Oh, that's right, because, as so many apologists will remind us, they do jobs no one else wants so that makes it okay. Yeah: Bullshit.

I don't care if they've come here to rub my feet, take my wife shopping, and make sweet love to my sister, they broke the law! That is not acceptable, and there are no post facto placations that can make it so! We don't treat other criminals with such kid gloves. Why should these law breakers get a pass? The logic behind the idea that because they provide a function, which can be seen as a good, makes their previous transgressions acceptable, is counter citizenry and basically retarded. This implies that any crime that benefits society is okay. Fine, I'll start driving around in an ice-cream truck full of rocket pops and cap every drug dealer I can find. (I can't watch with a straight face as someone eats a rocket pop...ditto a banana, unless they eat it like corn on the cob.) I'm breaking the law, but it's basically a service to the community, so it's cool. Criminals should be brought to task for their crimes, period. That's you Miguel, now take you litter and go back to your mud hut in the jungle of Guate...Gueta....oh to hell with, I don't have to know how to spell your stupid country, just leave. (I know how to spell Guatemala, I was just being dramatic)

The fact that they are doing jobs that no one else will do and that it's good for our economy is about as intelligent an idea as when Olaf the hairy, King of all the vikings, ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.1 These people are not just picking asparagus folks! I don't know how that sparkle got into so many otherwise intelligent people's eyes. They are doing landscaping, roofing, handyman work, and other construction jobs. These are not jobs 'American's won't do'. For the love of deep fried pickles—these are the jobs that WE DID WHEN WE WERE KIDS! In 1990, what high school kid didn't want to work a construction job, even if it was just ripping out old carpet ahead of skilled carpet layers? Are you kidding me? When I was 19 I took a job working in a pipe ditch, placing slippery, lubed up rubber gaskets on the end of a stick of concrete pipe. (yeah...I'm really going to open myself up for ridicule having let that one out...oh well) I got paid $8/hour in 1991 and I was happier than a puppy with two peters. Sure, kids today all want to work at Abercrombie & Fitch where they can learn to be men that act like girls, but given certain market wage incentives (i.e. In the absence of cheap illegals, employers would have to pay wages that attract other workers) these kids would be pried from their low-wage job at Filthy Larry's BBQ & Foot Message and start working real jobs. (There is another entire discussion regarding minimum wage that plays into this, but that is for another day)

The influx of illegal aliens is not simply a crisis of emigration. The problem is systemic all the way up through the upper class and governments of Mexico and other Central American countries. Pay attention to this! Don't look at the T.V. right now, Nancy Grace is not that interesting. The rich and powerful in Central America do not want these people living in their countries! They are considered lower class and burdensome by the most amicable of the elite, and racially inferior to most of the rest. Mexico, by POLICY is doing everything it can to export it's lower class Mestizo population to the United States. Mexico's upper crust is primarily aristocratic parvenu heralding a Spanish lineage. They hate the lower class, Indian-mix Hispanics and will do whatever they can to expel them. Is it sad, sure, but it's not our problem (well, it shouldn't be, but we're too pussified to stop it). Maybe they should uprise or something. Just look at Kyrgystan. Uprisings are all the rage this month.

There are lots of different avenues we could take to avert this American crisis. We could put the National Guard on the border. (Not 'On the Border', the restaurant. I'm sure that wouldn't do any good). We could dig a moat, build a bigger fence, shoot border crossers, or put out land mines. We could crossbreed rattle snakes with woodpeckers that could buzz around and jab you with their venomous beaks! I don't know the best method, and it doesn't matter. What is important is that people in this country realize just how harmful illegal aliens are to America and that something must be done to stem this invasion. Now, where's my celery?

¡Viva el soberano Estados Unidos!

1. Blackadder Goes Forth © BBC

Text © Raymond Smith - 2010 Image courtesy of youtube.com®

Sixteen Tons

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 20:48:00 +0000

"The man who makes everything that leads to happiness depends upon himself, and not upon other men, has adopted the very best plan for living happily. This is the man of moderation, the man of manly character and of wisdom."

--Plato

So, I was sitting on my good chair, watching something on the television, (I don't remember what it was but it was probably something involving one animal tearing apart another in the glory that is the food chain). During the commercial break, which I don't see that often due to the sweetness that is the DVR, there's this advertisement for some auto handy-man service or something like that. The she-nag is prattling on about how she's been ragging her husband to mend something in the backyard. (What? I don't know it doesn't matter, now pay attention to the story) Of course, when she finally did get him to take a break from the 6 minutes to himself he was probably getting after building a hospital for the deaf children, (or whatever awesome thing he was doing for too little pay) he tries to fix the thing. She giggles a little...she knew from the beginning she should have hired one of the professionals at We'll Take Care of Your Wife While You're Out Drinking®, indicating that whatever he had attempted to repair is not only not fixed, but will now cost them $7426.78 to have taken care of.

You have all seen this trend over the years! I know you have! It's in sitcoms, T.V. Ads, you name it. Apparently, the middle-aged white male is predominantly capable of basically nothing. We can't fix anything, clean anything, remember to do anything, or do any of the things that we can do correctly. We can't be trusted to pay a bill, feed a cat, bath ourselves, or even decide which hand with which to wipe ourselves. If we change the oil in her car, it will explode. If we put a pair of jeans in the washing machine, it will explode. If we pound a two-penny nail into the wall to hang a three-ounce picture of her mother, it will explode. In fact, it is apparently quite difficult for women to understand how we make it through the day without destroying all of mankind while just taking out the garbage.

Somehow over the last, oh, I don't know (when did the feminazi movement and emasculation of the American male begin?) about that far back (I'd look up the exact date, but my wife's not here to show me how.) the overwhelming public image of men has been shifting away from the strong, capable, father figures of the late 50's and before into one of two figures: The incompetent boob you've seen lambasted in T.V. and in comedy clubs, or the metro-sexual retard that, aside from having a penis and just enough of a thin beard to say, “Look, I don't care about societal conventions!”, is about as much a man as Rosie O's sausage-fist knuckles. (Actually, I bet those are pretty manly) Now of course, these lamentable sissies are out there, there's no doubt about that.

I saw one today in the cafeteria at work—weighed about 135lbs and was carrying a 'messenger bag'. It's a purse--period, and you are not a man for wearing it! And sure, you've got the business men and the techie geeks that would probably die of hypothermia while trying to survive the first 4.2 minutes after a flat tire. But these detractors do not represent the majority of men. Strong men are still out there, and are more prevalent than you've been led to believe. They've been quiet because they don't have time to defend themselves; what with all the building America that they've been up to.

Real men are out there welding things, sometimes just for fun. They are fixing shit that women keep breaking, properly I might add (yeah, I said it, and you know it's mostly true so back off). They can cook (especially if it's something they killed), clean, and do laundry with the efficiency of a nuclear leaf-blower. They work fishing boats, and drive humongous construction machines that define awesome. They dig holes; penetrating deep into mother Earth (she likes it) to bring out precious diamonds—which men will then use as a tool to shut her up. Men will cut things down that are in the way and use that shit to build other shit that makes women's lives easier. If your new hairdo is all on fire while your house is burning down, don't fear, a strong fearless, fire-proof manchine will drag your screaming ass out. Men know things about earth, fire, wind and water. They understand guns, knives, and large BBQs.

Men invented beer.

So, while the she-people on the telly may lampoon the silent strength of real men, when it comes down to brass tacks there will be a man there when he is needed. The sensitive little guy at work that is so cute and smart and 'understands you' is not going to help you fix your broken screen door. He is probably unable to use the simplest of tools. (His man-purse is not a tool, it just makes him a tool) When you are stuck on the side of the turnpike with a flat tire, it will likely be a man, who may not be hip to the trendiest new band that only you and your friends have heard of, but is kind and knowledgeable. He won't mind that it's raining, because he's just not a pussy. You may offer him money for his trouble, but he won't accept it. And, when the job is done, as he turns to walk back to his truck, he'll be sure to cast a knowing glance at the three 'men' in the back of your car.

©Raymond Smith- 2010

Marcus Aurelius Just Wanted His Pudding

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 14:07:00 +0000

Welcome to Morningwood retirement and assisted living. You'll love it here! There is so much to do and the food is great. We'll entertain you, exercise you, feed you, and look after all your needs. Live out your twilight years free of the mental anguish wrought by burdening your children. Your final years of existence will bother no one. Now eat your Jello and take your special pills so the orderlies can go out for a smoke.

Why do we do this to people?

I don't understand this pervasive assumption that old people just want a comfortable place that's out of the way so they can die. I get people that need medical assistance just to eat and breathe, but it is more often the Moirai of people that are fully capable of looking after themselves and pursuing whatever avocation suits their ancient fancy. Instead of enjoying what should be the most rewarding epoch of life, they get stuck in a hamster cage and given a wheel to keep them busy and diverted until they croak; a perdition of sorts aimed at dissolving their dignity as they are transformed from something sentient into something farmed.

Bullocks to that! Are you kidding me!?

First and foremost: To the adult children of these poor souls, whose lives are what they are by the hands of those they wish to put in the back of the pantry—You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. You owe. Period. Those people suffered for 18-46 years (online game addiction dependent) to set you up to become the ultra success that you are. They wiped your butt, sacrificed their dreams, suffered through your refrigerator posted 3rd grade poems, and (by the strength of Krom) resisted many urges to eviscerate costumed characters at themed pizza places. Everything you are and everything you'll ever be or accomplish is owed to these people. How are you paying them back? You're putting them out of your misery. And, you know, the only reason they agree to do it; smile and pretend to be happy about it, is that they don't want to be a burden—once again, allowing your interests to supplant their own.

If my kids ever put me in a home while I still have the means to harm them, they better watch their backs. I will abscond, ford the river, kill an alligator with my false teeth, break into their homes with my walker, and crap in their cereal bowls. (That's pretty crass, but old dudes are like that, I think) The sunset of my life will be consumed by the desires (and sometimes the avarice) of my entertainment, travels, and adventures. If I require assistance, I will seek it. If I can't climb to the top of the Zugspitze, I'll spend a little more of that dwindling inheritance on a helicopter.

So, to my girls: Once we, your parents, have seen all we can see and are barren of money—and believe me, we will be out of money—we are coming to live with you. There will be nothing left to pass on. We will have long since sold the house to buy legal marijuana for the glaucoma I guarantee you I will have. The life insurance policy will have been cashed out so we could host numerous parties out of our beach condo. The rest we will spend on travel, booze, and Viagra.

We changed your diapers on the way in. You're changing ours on the way out.

© Raymond Smith- 2010

Quote of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 22:25:00 +0000

"What shall I say? But thus we lost him, that in all his proceedings, made justice his first guide, and experience his second; ever hating baseness, sloth, pride, and indignitie, more than any dangers; that never allowed more for himselfe, then his shouldiers with him; that upon no danger would send them where he would not lead them himselfe; that would never see us want [in want of] what either he had, or could by any meanes get us...whose adventures were our lives, and whose losse our deathes."

-1609: William Fettiplace, Colonist of Jamestown commenting upon the betrayal and departure of John Smith.

(Love & Hate in Jamestown; David A. Price,Vintage Books, ©2003)

One Giant Leap

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 17:07:00 +0000

On May 25, 1961, Democratic President Kennedy issued a bold mandate—that the United States would send a human being to the moon by the end of that decade. 8 years 1 month and 26 days later, it was done. This was zero to hero in less time than it takes to boil a really big egg. In 1961 we knew basically nothing…at all…about space flight. There were still people working at NASA that thought space was full of sea monsters. (I made that up.) Only two percent of American households had color televisions, and our most sophisticated computational device was a slide ruler. But, we did it. A bunch of dudes with 50lb brains teamed up with a handful of dudes with 50lb balls and they just made it happen. At the end of 2010, the United States of America, for the first time in over 50 years, will not have the capability to send a single person into space—not even low-Earth-orbit. What happened?

We Americans used to get up to all kinds of crazy adventures. We explored everything. The English were kind enough to drop us off on the eastern edge of a really big hunk of dirt with no one on it. Well, there were Indians, but they just had sticks and we had guns, so it’s just as good to say there was no one here. Once early Americans figured out that there were far too many liberals on the East Coast, they explored west. Nothing could stop us. If it was wet, we forded it, or dried it up. If it was in the way, we went over it, around it, or moved it. If it was hostile, we shot it, cooked it, and ate it (or pushed it westward and onto a reservation). Exploration was in our blood--handed down to us from the explorers of Europe who were basically willing to sail a vessel of pretty much any size as far into the unknown as possible, and never return. (Long live the queen!)

When we got bored walking around in circles between the two oceans, we just looked up. When JFK said we were going to the moon, we were like fuck yeah! We worked really hard, bought a used spaceship from an Alien (at least that’s what a couple of websites suggest), loaded up a couple of dudes who really wanted to die very far away from home, and we were off. (We also sent them with bananas so that their potassium levels would not drop. No one wants cramps in space) After we planted a few flags on the moon, played some golf, stole some rocks and did some off-roading, we basically just got bored with it and quit. Let me say that again: We got bored going to the moon. There is no amount of internet porn that can fix that.

The easy out is to blame the President. You thought I was going to didn’t you! Which president? NASA’s budget has steadily decreased (in terms of % of federal budget) under every sitting president since Kennedy. The 2010 budget for space exploration is 10% of what it was 1966. Blame NASA? Maybe a little, but how boldly can you go when your pocket book will only send you where everyone’s gone before? NASA’s operating kitty is 9.7% of the aggregate budget for social programs at the federal level, and only 2% of the leviathan that is the DoD Benny Hill. What about Congress? Congress writes the budget. Yeah, but congress does what it always has: get itself re-elected. Congress chases the whims and trends of the populace, and the populace of the U.S. seems to be about as interested in space travel as Schrodinger was interested in feline welfare.

Unfortunately, the exploration of space has been a shrinking interest with Americans since the first few Space Shuttle flights. You could argue back and forth ad nauseum whether the tail is wagging the dog: Did NASA fail to inspire? Did they run the shuttle program too long without anything new and different? Or, did the public just chase a different shiny penny no matter what NASA served up? I’d say both. Upon encounter of a mirage of vision and leadership, people will drink the sand. While NASA has languished away in LOE, the American taxpayer has, over the decades, turned their attention towards plebeian pursuits of entertainment. But, I think they could be inspired to get behind the space program, once again, and with vigor. All they need is our new Democratic President to mandate something bold and nonpareilly American!

President Obama outlined his bold way-ahead for NASA on 15 April, 2010:

"By the mid-2030s I believe we can send people to orbit Mars and bring them safely back to Earth. I expect to be around to see it."

Hopefully, 20 some-odd years from now, mankind might accomplish something within today’s technological and financial capability—to visit a place we’ve already been sending surface spacecraft for 30 years. My grandchildren might get to witness an endeavor that my children should have read about in high school history class. I’m sure there will be a Chinese flag waiting for us at the foot of Olympus Mons.

©Raymond Smith- 2010

Preparedness Part I from Sootch00

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 23:24:00 +0000

Quote of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 23:21:00 +0000

All the perplexities, confusion and distress in America arise, not from defects in their Constitution or Confederation, not from want of honor or virtue, so much as from the downright ignorance of the nature of coin, credit and circulation.

---John Adams

Everyone Loves the Media

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 13:20:00 +0000

"It appears we have appointed our worst generals to command forces, and our most gifted and brilliant to edit newspapers! In fact, I discovered by reading newspapers that these editor/geniuses plainly saw all my strategic defects from the start, yet failed to inform me until it was too late. Accordingly, I'm readily willing to yield my command to these obviously superior intellects, and I'll, in turn, do my best for the Cause by writing editorials — after the fact."

— Robert E. Lee, 1863

The Wolf and the Winter Cold

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 15:08:00 +0000

Last night I watched the movie '300'. I've seen it before, but what an awesome movie. The beginning of it got me thinking though. They raise their kids to accept pain, to get up when they're kicked to the ground, to wipe off blood and continue to struggle. Then they send their seven year old man children out into the cold wild to fend for themselves. That's pretty much how we raise our kids today, right?

It used to be. Well, maybe not to that extent, but with the same spirit and intent. When we got in trouble, we got paddled. When kids called us names, our parents told us to blow it off or call them a name, but either way, quit whining. Our parents actually used phrases like, “Don't be a baby.” When we got into a fight with a kid at school, our fathers debriefed us on technique. I remember once when my mother, after I was whining about something that happened at school, said, “Well maybe I should just run out and buy the little girl a dress!” Was it insulting? Did it damage my self esteem? Hell yes, and it also had its intended effect. I quit whining, went back to school, dealt with it like a man, and took my dignity back. These are the tools of life. And we all used to get them dished out to us by the dump-truck load.

The overwhelming majority of human accomplishment is born, not out of intelligence, creativity, or sense of well-being, but out of the courage, the tenacity, and the confidence to put one's talents to purpose. It does no utility to a human life to have great talent and yet be too timid to use it. Warren Buffett, for example, is smart, but it takes balls to have taken the financial risks he has taken to get where he is. The same is true of Bill Gates, Zev Siegl, and Martha Stewart (Talk about balls). John Hancock didn't sign his name to the Declaration of Independence in 72 font because his mother used to hold his head to her bosom and whisper, “There there, my precious Johnny, the other boys are just mean, you should go play with your sister.”

I am willing to venture to make a guess that our current social trend in parenting may be sliding away from the paternal model that created these individuals.

Today, depending on where you are in America, if your child doesn't receive a passing grade on school work, they receive that dreaded 'E'...wait, what? What the hell is an 'E' grade? I had to ask Athena because her report card showed the grading scale A-E. She told me that her teachers told her that 'F' stood for 'fail', and that it made kids feel bad. Well, boo frickin hoo! It's supposed to make them feel bad! Failing is supposed to make you feel bad! You're not supposed to like it—that's the incentive to make decisions in the future so as to experience less of it. Schools haven't been cutting players from sports teams for years now. We wouldn't want to think that hard work and dedication might make the difference between success and failure. And it's just not fair that some kids are born stronger and faster than others, we can't have genetics keeping kids from being on the team. Besides, once they're out of high school, the rest of the world is pretty much a veritable cornucopia of fairness right? Are you kidding me? There's a reason these kids are getting out into the real world today and getting COMPLETELY OWNED!

We are obsessed with children's self esteem. Never mind the idea that they are supposed to earn it. It's issued now. And if they don't have enough of it, we'll pull the rest of the school back to their level so they don't feel bad about themselves. There are schools doing away with honors programs because it makes the dumb kid's self esteem diminish. Wait; did I say dumb kids? Was I supposed to say the intellectually disadvantage or some crap like that? Yeah, I'll stick with 'dumb kids'. Because, honestly, they only reason they're 'dumb kids' is that more often than not they just don't work very hard.

There is even a school district in Maine, right now, that is pushing to desegregate boys and girls restrooms and locker rooms because last year a; what do you call it..a trans-gendar...trans-sexual...trans-former...FRUITLOOP kid was emotionally damaged because he/she/it/they couldn't use the girl's bathroom. I'm sorry, we are talking about a 12 year old trans-gender boy...I suspect there might be something slightly not right with him to begin with. He's TWEELLLLLVEE and thinks he should have girl parts! They are going to make adolescent girls change clothes in the same locker room as the guys so that some prepubescent tranny won't have his feelings hurt.

This morning, watching the morning news, they were running a story about schools that feel the need for recess education. Yes, you read it right. They are having teachers out on the playground to teach...the kids...how...to...play. Young Skywalker, your pussification is now complete. What have we done that our kids need this? What series of disservices have we meted out on our children that they can't even play outside without hovering helicopter adults micromanaging their every move? The reality is...nothing. Our kids need this kind of micromanagement about as much as they need second helping of pudding with their lunches. I fear for what kind of ill-adjusted, terrified, fickle, hipster douchbag adults these children will grow up to become. They'll be a hell of a crop: Completely unprepared for hardship, failure, success, setbacks, weakness, strength, second place, etc.

The only way our kids are going to become the next Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, or General Patton, is if they grow up strong. You can't issue them confidence, courage, resilience, and fortitude. They learn through trial and error, falling down and getting up, taking risk and sometimes getting hurt. They build character (remember that phrase?) by trying and failing, and trying something else. That's how they find and follow their feet. You can't manage your children into viable, strong, productive citizens. You have to teach them.

THIS.....IS......SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

© Raymond Smith- 2010

From Thomas Paine -I don't think our leaders read of him anymore.

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:14:00 +0000

A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it the superficial appearance of being right.

Time makes more converts than reason

Society is created by our wants, and government by our wickedness

You Kids Get Off My Lawn!

noreply@blogger.com (Little Ray) — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 14:40:00 +0000

Our country, and therefore the world that follows us, has progressed a great deal from the time of our giving of the finger to King George. I'm not just talking about the obvious leaps in technologies that affect our daily lives. I mean, sure, it's really cool that we don't have to walk to the mailbox anymore like a chump, but those changes are right before our eyes. Our country has also progressed by addressing nearly every aspect of how we live our lives. In an effort to ensure that nobody can possibly ever step on someone's toes, offend each other, go hungry, miss out on health care or education, be unemployed, or not get their pudding when they don't eat their meat, we enacted a brazillion different laws, statutes, codes, ordinances, edicts, mandates, theses, and proclamations under every bailiwick from the Federal Government to your local home owner's association.1 But here's the question: Are we any better off for it? Are we happier?

Let's look at some specific endeavors:

Financial Security:
In the past, it was more common than not for a man (yes, in the past it was just a man) to take a job with a company that does...I don't know...makes cheese graters, and work for that company for at least 20 years. Upon retirement, he received a pension from the company's pension fund. He also would invest his money as he deemed prudent (probably in pork bellies, or G.I. Joe with the Kung Fu Grip) to secure his future and that of his wife and 2.5 children. (I got all this from watching 'Leave It To Beaver'.) Financial independence was within the grasp of anyone willing to work for it. A high school education was employable, and trades were as honorable and nearly as profitable as jobs associated with higher education.

Today, if a man, woman, or trans-gender minotaur works the same job for more than five years they're considered stagnating. Due to the government pretty much running the economy with enough legal code to pen the Gutenberg Bible 600 times, no company can remain profitable doing the same thing for more time than it takes to make a glass of Ovaltine. Instead, corporations are bought, sold, traded, invaded, hostilely taken over, raided, pillaged, liquidated, plundered, and ransacked by whatever parent corporation has the leverage to do so. There's no such thing as pension plans because companies have figured out how to placate employees with golden bale known as the 401k, which saves them reams of greenbacks because they only have to pay a little into it until you quit. So, your 401k isn't going to be worth anything because it was made up of 50% stock in the company you worked for that has been 'acquired' in a leveraged buy-out by a conglomerate of lawyers that liquidated its assets and now the stock is worth a camel fart. So what now?

Social Security my good man! That's right. With a population that is living longer and longer and growing in number like bacteria, some genius thought it would be viable for everyone to pay a little out of their checks to give to the old people. Of course, this same genius didn't bother to tie benefits to actual contributions, so those doing the work are paying in at a rate far below that which those suckling the teat are drawing out. You'll have to work until you're 165 years old, whereupon you will have payed in $200M, and for the next 6 months of the life you have left; you'll get enough money to buy one Twinkie every 72 hours.

Personal Freedoms:
Let's see. 100 years ago, a person was free to...well...do...pretty much whatever the hell they wanted as long as it didn't get in the way of someone else trying to do whatever the hell they wanted. You want to build a house? Build a house. You want to get married? Find a preacher and a pretty girl (no fat chicks). You want to start a business? Start making cheese graters and open a store. You want to spend the afternoon walking around in the street in front of the courthouse praising Jesus, or Jesus? (that second one was Spanish, you have to pronounce it different) Go nuts. If you weren't physically harming someone, stealing what was theirs, or committing fraud against them you were free to go on about your bat-shit crazy day.

It's kind of the same today, except that a person is free to...well...do...basically nothing. You want to build a house? It better be built by a licensed contractor, meet code for electrical, concrete, structural, plumbing, roofing, etc, and then be subject to the HOA, for the color, gardening, and 'curb appeal'. You want to get married? No problem; get a blood test, apply for a license, confirm the preacher has the legal backing to perform the ceremony and get your witnesses to sign in triplicate. Honestly, why in the bras gypsies do I have to have a license to get married? I'm not going to fly a plane with the marriage or anything. You want to start a business? Oh sweet Mary mother of God.

Today, you want to express yourself, that's fine as long as you don't: Say anything religious, anything critical of anyone that looks different than you do, comes from another country, has any relation that looks different than you or comes from another country, anything critical of anything liberal, anything critical of anything conservative, or anything that could possibly be construed (even after the fact) as offensive to anyone, foreign or domestic, for any reason that does or does not really exist...umm...You know what, citizen, perhaps it's just better if you don't say anything at all. Oh yeah...and that nativity scene—yeah...tear that piece of shit down; I'm not supposed to get Jesus in my eye.

Personal Security:
In the past, people understood that role of the police was not to protect you. The police just show up after the fact to try and figure out who did it. People carried guns because a cop was just too heavy. Think about it; when was the last time you can remember ever hearing about the cops actually intervening to stop a crime in progress? I know there are incidents where the off-duty, or plain clothes cop happened to be in the bank when the robbers hit, and then there's hostage stand-offs. But, when the bad guy comes in the night, do you really expect the cops to get there in time to stop them? Of course not, back then, you just popped them. And the bad guys knew it. Wyatt Earp was probably not likely to become the victim of a mugging at an ATM.

Today, under the Federal Pussication Act of 1999, we are not expected to stick up for ourselves in anyway whatsoever. Many states have what are called 'Duty to Retreat' laws. These laws make it a crime to defend yourself against a violent criminal when you could have run away. These laws extend to your own home. If you could have slipped your family out the back door while the thief/murderer/drug addict/rapist was coming the front door (so to speak), you are legally obligated to do so. If you whack the guy in the shin with a golf club, you're no longer the victim. You're now the heartless animal that attacked a poor, defenseless, underprivileged, disenfranchised American who was just trying to make it in this world after his father left and his mother couldn't get off the crack. Damn, you're an asshole. Today, you're supposed to rely on things like alarm systems, on-call security like Brinks or ADT...in other words you are a compulsory coward that has to have someone else come make the bully go away.

Incidentally, if there are any would-be home invaders reading this: I have no problem whatsoever with going to prison for protecting my family. I live in a 'Duty to Retreat' state, and I will shoot you until I am out of ammo if you enter my house uninvited.

Education:
Reading, writing, arithmetic. That's what we used to teach. Kids went to school to learn how to do stuff and how stuff worked, or how stuff happened in the past. Teachers were authoritarian masters of their realm—and the parents were on their team. If kids misbehaved in class, the teacher paddled them with a stick. When they got home, they got another one for having embarrassed the family. Teachers had the backing of the community and therefore the latitude to be creative with their instruction. Schools were encouraged to maintain integrity in the evaluations of student performance. The responsibility to succeed fell solely on the student—encouraged by parents. Children learned how succeed, but more importantly, they learned how to fail. And they were stronger for it.

Ask a teacher today how much latitude they have to teach. You'll probably get a cup of coffee thrown at you (if teachers can even have coffee at school anymore). Federal laws pushing arbitrary standards have constricted educators to the point that 'teaching the test' is the only teaching going on. It seems like every time I ask my kid what she did in school today, the answer is 'we reviewed for the test', or 'we took another practice test'. They're only learning what the test evaluates. Misbehaving kids; what's a teacher to do? Are you kidding? If the teacher even looks cross-eyed at the kid, the precious little snowflake is going to text his helicopter mother who will bring a complaint to the district before the end of the day. Or, worse, all the kid has to do is make the allegation that the teacher did something 'inappropriate' and his/her career is effectively over.

I could go on, but this is already running a little long. As people forget how precious their freedoms are, they keep giving them away. I don't understand it. I don't understand why anyone would willingly abdicate their own decision making to the government. Yet, we the people do it every day. We've let our government legislate our lives into an un-navigable minefield of rules, regulations, fees, taxes, torts, and legal red tape. We've let our over-sensibilities contort our social interactions into a Mobius strip where we can barely even communicate without saying the wrong thing. And the worst part; we've lost our collective sense of humor--And that is unforgivable.

© Raymond Smith- 2009

Dante's Infuego

How's Everything Tasting?

I Want My Two Dollars!

To Fist a Mockingbird

Rock Paper Scissors

Did You Have the Fish?

Support the Family of a Fallen Hero

Saturn May Have Been Onto Something

You'll Put Your Eye Out!

God's Lovely Turnip

Tobi Keith for President

Kurt XXXXXXX I want Obama to look directly in the faces of families who lost loved ones on 911 and the military families who lost there loved ones fighting those terrorists after that and tell them he supports a Mosque at ground zero! That's it for me...Impeach now!!!! ...

Thoth Was Telling Porky Pies

I Want My Two Dollars!

Zo Notion: This man gets it!

Tonight We Dine in San Diego!

Sixteen Tons

Marcus Aurelius Just Wanted His Pudding

Quote of the Day

One Giant Leap

Preparedness Part I from Sootch00

Quote of the Day

Everyone Loves the Media

The Wolf and the Winter Cold

From Thomas Paine -I don't think our leaders read of him anymore.

You Kids Get Off My Lawn!

Kurt XXXXXXX I want Obama to look directly in the faces of families who lost loved
ones on 911 and the military families who lost there loved ones fighting
those terrorists after that and tell them he supports a Mosque at
ground zero! That's it for me...Impeach now!!!!

...