Sometimes I feel bad that Rissa doesn’t have many friends.  She calls family, our adult friends, her toys and even strangers “friends.”

Where’s that friend going, mommy?

Friends waved at me!

She is very social and will recount random conversations and memories with people she meets.  Other than strangers, we see many “friends” again.  There have been kids she gravitated towards at story time and kids she’s played well with at the park.  At times I wonder if I should try to hook up a playdate, but always chicken out.

None of these random encounters made my heart ache like it did last weekend.

The reception

Muno was her +1

We attended a friend’s son’s wedding reception last Saturday.  Rissa was super excited to wear her “pretty princess dress” and dance.  She also liked it that mommy was even wearing a dress!

The reception hall was empty when we arrived.  We were early for once despite having both of the kids with us.  This gave Rissa plenty of time to adjust and feel comfortable.  It didn’t take long before she was running around and chattering with other people and kids.  I began to worry that others would think we weren’t bothering to watch her.

Rissa was extremely happy when she discovered a girl several years older than her coloring.  After a few moments another adult ripped out a blank page and handed some crayons over.  Rissa just beamed with happiness.

The flower girl

It wasn’t until after dinner that Rissa encountered the flower girl.

Sophie.

She was also an incredibly adorable two year old.  I didn’t get to witness the initial meeting, but the retelling of it sounded romantic…. as far as two year old meetings go.

They were walking down an aisle between tables coming towards one another.  As the distance closed, they stopped briefly to look at each other.

Then they hugged.

Oh, yes, and they even tried to kiss one another.  Heart melt!

For the rest of the night they danced, giggled, and hugged some more.  They were nearly inseparable  with Rissa mostly seeking out her new friend in between checking in with us.

Best friends… for the night

We let her be.  With an amused smile we looked on as all the kids danced and played.  Everything was fine until we needed to leave…

My sweet baby cried.  She didn’t want to leave Sophie.  Saying good-bye helped, but how do we explain that she lives states away and we won’t see her again?

At that moment, I realized that I remember how that felt. How sometimes meeting and leaving someone we felt truly connected to made my heart hurt. 

I wonder about those fleeting friendships from time to time. What happened to them?  What are they up to now? Do they remember the time we spent together?

Rissa mentions Sophie daily since they met.  She asks to be a flower girl like her friend.  She wants to dance in her pretty dress.  And most of all, she wants to watch the video we captured of that special night.

Although she asks about her, I think my heart aches more for her than her own does.  Both Brian and I felt a bit sad that their time together was so brief, but it’s better to have loved and lost rather than not at all, (as the saying goes) right?

Share a time you connected with someone that you’d never see again in the comments below.

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Xander's idea of the perfect day consists of sleeping, eating, playing, and pooping.  This is pretty much the norm for babies, isn't it?  Rissa was the same way.  Now that Xander is 5 months old, he wants to sit up all the time or if he's on his tummy he's doing mini push-ups or imitation swimming.

With my daughter I was all about the nursing pillows, but with X… it seems like I never have the time to get situated with one.  Maybe now I'm more comfortable with nursing whenever, wherever and however?  So, I definitely like versatile nursing pillows.

We received a mombo nursing pillow to review.  It has the familar U shape, with one side firmer than the other.  The firm side is nice for baby to lay on while feeding.  The softer side is good for lounging, tummy time and sitting up.  I found it hard to nurse with because it doesn't fit around this plus sized mama very well.  However, Xander likes being propped up with the pillow while on his belly so it is easier to play with his toys.

He insists on trying to sit up all the time now, he'll do crunches trying to get up off his back!  The Mombo pillow has been great for supporting him while sitting up on the floor.  But his favorite part?  The Taggies!  Textures and tags intrigue him.  I constantly find him scratch, scratch, scratching his little fingers against different materials to feel them and hear the sound it makes.  He loves to grab tags and suck on them too.

The addition of Taggies to the Mombo is probably my favorite improvement over the early pillow my husband's sister-in-law tried out.  It also comes with a removable vibration pod that's easy to insert into the pillow to soothe nursing or lounging babies.

Mombo nursing pillows are available at Babies R Us along with additional slip covers.  To keep up to date with other great baby products be sure to like Comfort & Harmony on Facebook or follow Comfort & Harmony on Twitter.

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One of the best parts about reading with your child is rediscovering your old favorites.  I was a big fan of the Berenstain Bears books and even had a Sister Bear hand puppet.  Their family seemed almost perfect – every issue got resolved in a positive manner.  As a mom, I really appreciate the positive messages and lessons they teach.  Oh and I certainly identified with Mama Bear when she got mad at the kids for their Messy Room (Amazon link) and began packing up the toys and taking them away.

I mean, who hasn’t at least threatened to take toys away if they aren’t picked up?

As Rissa’s reading library grows, she has accumulated lots of Berenstain Bear books.  We get most of her books secondhand, but hey, we give them a good home.  So, when I opened the package and found Berenstain Bear DVDs she was more than a little excited!

What is really fun is the Brother and Sister packs available exclusively at Walmart and Sam’s Club for $19.99 each (starting May 21, 2013).  The Berenstain Bears: Golden Brother Edition includes a DVD collection of Brother stories plus a plush Brother Bear!  The Berenstain Bears: Golden Sister Bear Edition is.. you guessed it – all about Sister.

Rissa asked me to open Sister Bear up right away.  I must say, I see some of Sister’s traits in my daughter.  Here is the description of Sister on the back of her limited edition gift set:

Sister Bear is a spirited, spunky third-grader.  Outdoorsy and sports-minded, she also loves fairytales, writing, and jump rope.

Mm-hmm.  Spirited and spunky for sure!

What surprised me (and made me say “awww”) was when Rissa gave the Brother box to Xander.  I mean, how perfect was that?  One for each!  I thought for sure she would want them all to herself.  well, she’s decided the movies are all hers since Xander doesn’t really watch TV yet.  We are set for a Berenstain Bear marathon with the Brother Edition, the Sister Edition, and we received The Berenstain Bears Collection which comes with 3 DVDs.

Compared to some of the new children’s shows out there… I like visiting Bear Country with my kids.  I can always count on them to demonstrate and teach love, values and life lessons.  It’s amazing how long they’ve been around (over 50 years now!).

Did you grow up reading The Berenstain Bears too?  What do you like the most about them?

Disclosure: I am a Phase 4 Films Kaboom! Ambassador.  This post is part of a sponsored campaign.

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I’m dabbling more and more in video through vlogging and Google Plus Hangouts.  No longer can I stay in my pajamas or yoga pants without a bra or a brush through my hair until noon.

Or can I?

I will be the first to point out that I’ve looked horrible in many photos and vids I’ve shared.  No way do I look perfect, but I am figuring out how to look more presentable.  Whether you vlog, hangout on Google+ or Skype, you might find some of these tips helpful and you can put them to use today.

5 Simple Tips to Look Better on Video

Bonus Tip – don’t let your children style your hair for you. (Video)

1.  Keep the light source in front of you or at least to the side.  If it is behind you then it’s harder to see your face.  Otherwise we’ll think your silhouette is part of the Witness Protection program but wonder why your voice isn’t garbled.  There is a lot more to great lighting techniques, but the most basic one is not to make your audience look directly into it.

2.  Look at the camera lens.  I am really working on this one.  It’s nice to feel like the person on my screen is making eye contact with me.  That does’t happen when they look down at the screen.  It happens when they look directly at the camera lens.  (I’m considering this special teleprompter mirror thing that helps you look at your web cam during video chats.  Guy Kawaski shared it on G+ recently and I put it on my wish list for now.)

3.  Tame that mom hair!  Okay, this is the biggest one for me.  Remember my earlier videos with my hair pulled back into sloppy ponytails?  Yeah, I have the worst hair wings.  Not cute.  And let’s not forget my gray roots.  Now I combat both of these issues with a couple products I’ve received for review.  My gray gets covered by a spray on root concealer.  My frizzies and flyaways get tamed by the new VO5 Salon Series Anti-Frizz & Shine Styling Cream (Amazon link).  Heck, even their Salon Series leave in conditioner helps since I can use it on dry hair as well as wet.

Side note: My hair in my new profile picture was done by a VO5 stylist with the Salon Series products.

4.  Add a touch of makeup.  I really am not a makeup wearing person, but when I participate in Hangouts (especially live On Air ones) I put some on.  Foundation and lip gloss can go a long way.  It’s so easy for my vampire-like pale skin to look washed out in a well light room.  Adding a little color helps.  Oh and if you wear glasses too, might want to push them up further on your nose than you normally wear them.  I try hard not to adjust them while on camera.  Plus, it helps to avoid your audience from seeing your glasses line cutting across your eyes.

Ready for a Hangout and rockin’ some smooth hair for once.  But am I wearing pants?

5.  Dress up your top half!  Have a beautiful blouse but unsure on dress pants?  No worries.  If you know the camera will only show you from the waist up (or more likely shoulders up), just focus on the shirt.  I once watched a video interview where both participants admitted they weren’t in full suits.  Both wore very nice shirts and jackets, but one had on yoga pants and the other had no pants at all!

There you have it.  5 tips you can use today or on your next video chat!

What other tips do you have for looking better on camera?

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There are moments when we all second guess our parenting and could use some reassurance that we aren’t messing our kids up.  As moms we try hard to keep our babies happy and well cared for, but we don’t always know if we’re doing it “right.”

The thing is, parenting is complex and there are many different ways to do things.  Some days you may feel very strongly and confident about your approach, while other days make you feel like a crappy mom.

While making new mom friends can be hard (and scary), I agree that we need a support network.  We need other moms to remind us we are all in this together.  You are doing fine.  Everything will be okay.  No one is perfect.

I still have days when I need reassurance, even though I feel more comfortable and confident overall being a second time mom.  When feeling troubled I know I can reach out to my own mom, mom friends online and to you.  The most vulnerable I ever felt was when I was a brand spankin’ new mom.  Everyone has advice, no one seems to think you are capable of figuring things out… or at least that’s how I felt at times.  Do you remember feeling that way?  It sucks!

Here are 5 Ways to Reassure Your Mom Friends

1. Call/text her with a compliment. You are amazing for keeping up with laundry!
2. Celebrate the small, unsung victories.  No spit up induced wardrobe changes today? Cheers to that!
3. Ask her for a recommendation or advice on anything.  Even if it isn’t baby related it helps remind her that you value her input.  What color should I dye my hair and what salon did you go to for that gorgeous cut?
4. Don’t ask about things like how long baby is sleeping at night.  Those questions – while common – set us up to feel judged.  Ask about how she is doing and let her bring up the other stuff if she wants to talk about it.
5. Send her a card, letter, or message letting her know she’s doing fine.

When out in public, offer smiles and nods.  Interject and deflect other strangers from saying something  judgmental.  Be supportive and lend a hand if you can.  Little gestures mean a lot, especially to someone struggling.

This year JOHNSON’s Baby makes it easy to send a reassuring note to other moms.  The “Care Cards” can be created on their Facebook page at www.johnsonsbabycares.com for free and shared on Facebook, Twitter or email.

For every card sent, shared, or liked, Johnson’s Baby will donate $1.00 to Save the Children (up to $150,000) to help provide mothers education and assistance through pregnancy and up to school aged children.  Research shows that early education is critical for baby’s development.  Johnson’s Baby launched Johnson’s Baby Cares in 2012 with Save the Children charity as part of their commitment to help every baby have a happy and healthy start to life.

The cards are easy to create and send – you can choose a premade one or create your own message.  I shared one with a bloggy friend who recently had her second baby.  I know what it’s like to adjust to life with two and wanted to let her know that she’s doing just fine.

Now it’s your turn! Who will you send a Care Card to today?  Go to www.johnsonsbabycares.com to send your FREE note of encouragement.

Now that you've read Sponsored: 5 Ways to Reassure a New Mom (or Any Mom!) how about leaving a comment to let me know your thoughts? If you really liked it, please share it!

This is one of the few times I’ll blog about “sorry for not posting.”  I was supposed to let you know on Monday that there wasn’t a set theme this week.  Honestly, my brain is fighting me on coming up with prompt themes lately.  I keep thinking the ideas are too generic, too specific or too lame.

Speaking of lame, I really dropped the ball on replying to comments and visiting those of you who link up lately.  I am sorry because I want to give you all love and support.  I won’t say it’s because I’m busy… I mean I am but you are too.

Anyway, share a favorite post from the last week or two (no reviews, sponsored or giveaways) in the linky down below.  If you have a theme/prompt suggestion let us know! If we use it you will get credit.  Promise!  Or.. if you love this favorite free for all idea tell us that too.  We want this to be fun and useful for you.

Now that you've read Friday Favorite Link Up :: Because Prompts Are Fun Free for All how about leaving a comment to let me know your thoughts? If you really liked it, please share it!

My mom was not a yeller.

I remember exasperated sighs and the tone of disappointment, but not yelling.  My dad was always quite calm too .. except once or twice when I was a teenager.  (I probably deserved it…)

Looking back I recall some passive aggressive tendencies which I am guilty of as well.

My husband is pretty calm and level headed.  His family is too, from what I can tell.  Obviously I became part of his family at a different stage in life, but I don’t think they are yellers either.  My husband definitely isn’t, though I think I might be passing some of it on.  Though his fuse is much longer than mine and his voice isn’t heard ’round the block.

You might be surprised to know that Brian and I have not “fought.”  You might think I’m lying, but it’s the truth.  We’ve had disagreements and other unpleasant conversations, but we haven’t bickered or argued or lost our cool with one another.

So why do I lose my cool with the kids?

Over the weekend I gave you a glimpse into a recent anger episode with my daughter.  Sometimes my anger isn’t fully about them, but they create the straw that breaks the camel’s back.  Other times my anger - my rage – is triggered by them.  Whining, crying, begging, not listening, misbehaving, screaming, screeching, not eating, throwing food, cornering the cat, breaking something, ripping something, kicking me….

It’s not usually one single act, it’s usually the result of eroding my patience down to nothing with any combination of those things – especially when those actions are repeated over and over and over again.

My fuse gets even shorter if I’m tired, if one interrupts the other’s nap, if we’re hungry, and if they BOTH are crying and I a, overwhelmed on who/what to address to make.it.stop.

Sometimes I’m just irritated but other times I feel a rush of rage sweep over my body in mere seconds.  My grip on my emotion slips.  I struggle to hold on, but in a split second it’s like I’m the Hulk.  I shake. I yell.  I scare myself.

I scare the kids.

Rage is my uncontrolled anger

When I express my anger – regardless of it being in a healthy way or not – I have fewer instances of rage.  I was seriously looking into information about postpartum depression because rage and anger are lesser discussed symptoms. There is also postpartum stress, which can result in feeling out of control and rage.  I’ve been treated for clinical depression in the past – when I was a teen and my early college years.  I know that may increase the likelihood of experiencing postpartum depression.

I’m not sure if I’m suffering from either of these.

I might be, but it isn’t an every day occurrence.  It may simply be a lack of healthy anger management.  Or I’m still in denial? (If you suspect a problem please seek help.)

But where did it come from?  I recall throwing tantrums as a child, stomping up the stairs to my room while crying and screaming “I hate you!”  This was around 4-5 years old.  I cringe at those words.  How awful it must have been for my parents to hear me saying that.  After bawling my eyes out, I’d eventually slink back downstairs.  I’d tell them I loved them and things would resume to normal.  My dad often said I rarely got in trouble – I usually punished myself and went to my room.  I’m not certain how that fits into my current anger expression issues, but it might….somehow.

When the anger started

It was after Rissa was born.  Months afterwards.  I started feeling uncomfortable in my skin as I got agitated about not being able to calm her down or feeling touched out.  (Another reminder to take time for yourself, yeah?)  These didn’t happen often.

Then I’d get ridiculously mad at her for not eating or listening… for normal toddler behavior.  It was like I took her behavior personally.  I still struggle with this sometimes.  Honestly, I take a lot of things personally.  Things I shouldn’t…

Things got better for awhile

I thought – hey… I’m better now! I felt more like me and not overtaken by the dark monster within.  Unfortunately it returned shortly after Xander was born.  I kept telling myself I was adjusting to the two of them, my hormones were out of whack and Rissa was feeling out of control in her own world despite loving her new little brother.

I heard her yelling at her toys

What broke my heart and made me realize I’d fallen into a pattern of yelling was listening to my daughter re-enact it with her toys.  It was one thing when she yelled at me and acted out in the only way she knew how, but hearing her repeat my words and tone really stung.  I became more mindful of my reactions and actions.  I try to remain calm and coach her through those big feelings – relax, breathe in/breathe out, use words, going in another room to yell/cry (and returning when calmed down).

It’s a work in progress, but she’s teaching me as I teach her.  She coaches me sometimes too (though it can make it worse at times).  We need to get better at taking a time out from each other.  Usually she just follows me continuing to cry/scream and I do too.

The guilt after the storm

No matter how heated it gets or how I try to justify WHY I got mad – I feel like crap afterwards.  Guilt hits and it hits hard.  I apologize and explain what upset me and that I should not have reacted the way I did.  We hug, we cry (sometimes – less often now!), we move on.  And I always always always remind them that I love them no matter what.

Bonfire Chat About Anger

I participated in a wonderful discussion with several other moms to talk about how we express anger in front of our kids.  I shared that I yell and throw things when I’m mad.  They made me feel more normal about it and not like a failure of a mom.  And some tips emerged too, especially from Jennifer B and Mary.  Ideas such as a family scream, hitting pillows, toy therapy, time outs from each other, and verbalizing feelings.

(Video)

What ways do you handle your anger?  How do you teach your kids about expressing their anger?

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She could barely climb the steps at the park then… Now she goes down the slide head first!

I do.  I marveled at how fast she was growing, her love of books and all things Yo Gabba Gabba.  Her desire to learn and her enthusiasm for music.

From an early age I sensed a stubborn persistence behind those chubby cheeks and bright eyes.  Some days her insistence on her way can take its toll on me, other days it’s adorable as I’m reminded that our time together is fleeting.

“I want to do it myself, mommy!” Her hand on her little hip.

I want to let her figure things out, but my impatience gets in the way.  Or I see her frustration.

“Can I help you?”

“NO, MOMMY! I want to do it myself first.”

I try to pick and choose my battles.  I usually win when it comes to hair combing and teeth brushing. She tries but these are two areas where I need to follow up her efforts.

Rockin’ her own style… like a boss!

Finally we are making some headway in her allowing me to actually do something with her hair.  We started with “Pretties” (barrette clips) and have moved on to headbands.  My real triumph was a ponytail that lasted for an hour the other day.

A nice pose before she pretends to be an alien.

She’s not too picky about clothes just yet, but I know that’s coming.  It’s mostly little things that she can exert control over in her ever changing world.  She’ll demand to be changed before her brother, request specific songs to be sung or foods to eat, and she tries to steal “my spot.”

Worse than the cats, I tell ya.

Like meltdown inducing (for both of us).  It’s kind of ridiculous…

There are times her desire to be independent gets her in trouble, like when I ask her to do something and she tells me, “No, mommy, you do it yourself.”   Usually the look gets an apology and compliance.  Honestly though, most times when I ask her to do something she’s happy to do it especially if I emphasize the help part.  She wants to be helpful and be a part of the family.  Without specifically telling her that everyone has to pitch in, she has picked up on that.

Curiosity and the discovery of a new skill (like opening the front door) create quite a stir.

Now every time I look at her, I see a little girl who’s growing up – not a baby.  She even tells me “I’m growing up, mama!”  Too fast, I say.. too fast.

What things have your kids been doing lately to show you how much they’ve grown?

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Did you know May is Get Caught Reading Month and May 13-19 is Children’s Book Week?  What a great time to get a few new books and make time to read together.  Even better is when I catch Rissa reading by herself!  I love to hear her version of the stories and am proud when she remembers pieces not clearly illustrated.  She also loves to show Xander books.

Get Caught Reading With Little Critter

Mercer Mayer, the beloved author of the Little Critter books, is participating in the national Get Caught Reading poster campaign for the first time.  He and Little Critter are reading the original The Trip book.

What’s that? Is that… is that Little Critter?

Why, yes it is!  For the first time ever there is a Little Critter plush doll that will be available after May 20th, created by MerryMakers Inc.  It’s perfect for Little Critter fans ages 2-8 years old.  You’ll have an opportunity to win one down below…

(Want to order a poster? They are free except for shipping and handling.  Order up to 12 posters for $5 shipping here!)

The Trip – Little Critter Reading Adventure – Price Drop for One Week to Just $0.99

This is an awesome deal if you don’t have this app yet!

To celebrate this great news, during Children’s Book Week, May 13–19, 2013, Silver Dolphin Books is reducing the price of The Trip – Little Critter Reading Adventure app from $3.99 to just $0.99, available worldwide through iTunes, Barnes & Noble, Amazon, and Google Play.

Silver Dolphin Get Caught Reading Giveaway

I’m really loving the books and offerings from Silver Dolphin.  They also offer amazing giveaways to their fans like this one…

Silver Dolphin Books launched the “Get Caught Reading Contest” on their Facebook page that provides three lucky winners the opportunity to win a $200 value gift basket, including the all NEW Little Critter plush from MerryMakers Inc., The Trip – Little Critter Reading Adventure andGamePak apps; and lots of fun reading and activity books!   PLUS:  One Grand Prize winner will win an all-new iPad Mini (16GB, Wi-Fi).

Little Critter Doll Giveaway!

Last, but not least, one of you will be the winner of the brand new Little Critter doll!  Giveaway is open to US residents 18 years or older.  To enter, leave a comment telling me about catching your little one reading or a tip to encourage kids to read.  Giveaway will end at midnight on 5/20/13.

Now that you've read Get Caught Reading… With Little Critter Doll Giveaway! how about leaving a comment to let me know your thoughts? If you really liked it, please share it!

I know that was a tough question.  How do you sum up something so complex in one word?

(Video)

Hope you all have a lovely day.  Thank you so much for allowing us to be a part of your world.

If you liked this video, please share it with other mothers to enjoy too!

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