Darren Hardy, Publisher of SUCCESS Magazine

The Pursuit of Happiness

Darren Hardy — Tue, 15 May 2012 16:02:30 +0000

...Maybe that’s the problem.

Pursuing happiness is like chasing a rainbow. The faster we go, the harder we try, the farther off it becomes.

I have learned that happiness is not a pursuit— it’s a choice. Happiness is a state of mind, obtainable at any time, in any moment of your choosing.

Licking a cone of creamy vanilla Häagen-Dazs makes me happy. But if someone knocks the cone out of my hand, I’m no longer happy. Happiness can be fleeting and unstable, like that ice cream cone. It’s really just a temporary sensation of pleasure, like entertainment, shopping, eating or sex.

Our beliefs about what will make us happy are heavily influenced by other people, Hollywood or commercial media. We race along this “hedonic treadmill” perpetually feeling like something is missing, like happiness is one toy, one trinket or one promotion away, but always just beyond our reach.

And still no rainbow. Disappointing career choices, heartbreaking relationships and midlife crises indicate that our assumptions about happiness and the pursuit of it often miss the mark.

It’s not the pursuit of happiness we should concern ourselves with, but rather the pursuit of fulfillment, purpose and significance. If I have created a life of meaning in which I have a deep sense of purpose and value, that won’t change because someone knocks my ice cream cone over. Fulfillment is a state of existence, not a fleeting emotion.

What then creates a fulfilling life? CLICK HERE TO READ REST OF POST

Times are Changing: Age, Sex and Our Future (2 of 2)

Darren Hardy — Tue, 08 May 2012 16:00:11 +0000

As we discussed in the first post, gender and generations are changing the landscape of business and the dynamics of the work environment in dramatic fashion.

If you can learn to adapt your culture and your leadership you will thrive as we march forward into the future. Don’t adapt and it could be curtains for your business and your prosperous future.

So I have two methods to suggest helping you adapt, develop and thrive.

1. Reverse Mentoring
This is the best way to integrate the trading of skills, perspectives and experience throughout your organization. Have men be mentored by women and boomers mentored by millennials.

Have women teach men many of the communication, social and interpersonal skills that women are more naturally adept at and how a man should best communicate to, work with and help support women in the workplace.

Have millennials teach boomers new technology, web services, social media and how the should best communicate to, work with and help support their younger colleagues in the workplace.

You might be asking, why the one-way street?

Well, first, it’s where the greatest gap and need exists, and secondly, mentoring the other way will happen naturally through the relationship.

Women will learn a lot more about their male counterpart in the workplace and how they, too, can adopt some of the skills more natural or prevalent in males in the workplace, and certainly millennials will pick up important leadership, discipline and mindset insights from their more experienced boomer workmates.

2. Be a Student Leader
This action item is particularly for you—the leader of your organization. I want to suggest you... CLICK HERE TO READ REST OF POST

Times are Changing: Age, Sex and Our Future (1 of 2)

Darren Hardy — Tue, 01 May 2012 16:00:41 +0000

We live in such incredibly dynamic times. These are exciting times to be alive… and challenging.

Most everything we have come to know is being disrupted and changed... seemingly all at once.

And for this conversation I’m not even referring to the technological or globalization changes that have impacted every function and facet of our business life.

I’m talking about the massive change in diversity we are undergoing in our workplace.

Not a diversity of race (although that is certainly another consideration with the impact of globalization), I’m talking about the diversity of gender and generations.

These changes are so significant that they are an ‘Adapt or Die’ threat level to the survival of your business over the next decade or two.

At the same time, if you DO adapt, and quickly, this can become one of your greatest advantages, helping you build a dynamic and thriving organization over the next several years, adding to your experience that these are the most exciting times to be alive.

Sex/Gender
A new milestone in U.S. history has been reached...

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, there are more women working than men.
Unemployment for men: 9.3% compared to 7.6% for women.
78% of the layoffs in recent years were men.
More married women have unemployed husbands than ever before, a record 21%.
Stay-at-home dads have doubled in recent years, making 1 out of 5 stay-at-home parents a father.

Add all that to this... CLICK HERE TO READ REST OF POST

5 Traits of Personal Mastery (2 of 2)

Darren Hardy — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 16:00:01 +0000

We are talking about personal mastery and what the best in the world do to achieve their extraordinary levels of success.

If you missed the first post with traits ONE and TWO go here: Part 1

THREE They are super particular about how they spend their time.
Because they are so passionate about what they do and their pursuit for excellence, they guard their time and attention to anything else vigorously. You too should have such vigilance.

Learn more in The Overachiever vs. Superachiever series: Installment #1, #2, #3, #4

FOUR Those who end up achieving a level of personal mastery are willing to fail fast, fail often and continue to persevere.
This is an interesting attribute and one you might find difficult to get your emotional arms around. It seems that those who achieve mastery, which is really the opposite of failure, would be failure-averse, but it is quite the opposite.

In fact, many of these great masters thrive on failure. Since they are obsessed with improvement they know they can only experience growth through failure. They want to continually find their boundaries. That is how they understand their capabilities and find ways of breaking through.

Success is actually not that satisfying or exhilarating to them; it is the failure, thus the opportunity to tweak, iterate, improve and therefore get to the next level, which is thrilling to them. Look at all those you admire; Branson, Trump, even Jobs has produced some duds. Google is constantly putting things out into the marketplace that flop. It’s how they find their winners and how they improve with great speed on those ideas they care about.

How about you? How much failure are you pushing yourself toward every day?
Obtaining mastery can only be achieved through a perpetual gantlet of failures.

Do as Thomas Watson of IBM said: “If you want to speed up your success, double your rate of failure.” Start today.

Learn more in the Knocked on Your Tush series: Installment #1, #2, #3, #4

FIVE Those who achieve a level of world-class excellence do it by... CLICK HERE TO READ REST OF POST

5 Traits of Personal Mastery (1 of 2)

Darren Hardy — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 16:00:03 +0000

One of the great benefits of my role as publisher and editorial director of SUCCESS magazine is that it gives me almost unfettered access to the most successful achievers in the world. I get to meet and spend time with most anybody you can imagine.

When I get knee to knee with many of these extraordinary people, my job is to try and decode the DNA of their mindset, philosophies, best practices and success strategies. Most of these unique individuals are the best in the world at what they do. I am there to find out about what they do and what has elevated them above everyone else in their competitive profession.

They could be leading CEOs, revolutionary entrepreneurs, superstar athletes, musicians or entertainers, Olympic champions or people who have overcome terrific challenges to go on and make a big impact on the world.

Over the next couple of posts I will reveal the five traits responsible for the personal mastery of many of the most revered leaders in our society. I will also suggest how you too could master the qualities that can make you the best in the world in your marketplace and in your area of expertise.

ONE
Since you are reading this blog there is a great chance you already possess this most critical attribute for personal mastery and that is being a consummate learner.

Those who actually achieve a level of mastery are obsessed with learning, growing and improving.

You probably read the book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell (you have, haven’t you?). This is where he repeatedly refers to the 10,000-hour rule as what separates those who end up with great “talent” from everyone else—essentially they just out-practice everyone else.

My favorite model, because I relate, of someone who is OCD about constant improvement is the late Steve Jobs. One of my favorite quotes from Jobs is... CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST AND GET THE SECRET

The Franchise Player

Darren Hardy — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 16:00:04 +0000

I was watching a major sporting event recently and the commentator kept referring to one of the athletes as a "franchise player."

Wanting to know exactly what this description meant, I did what we all do nowadays—I looked it up on Wikipedia.

The Great Wiki said a "franchise player" is an athlete who is not simply the best player on the team, but a player that the team can build its "franchise" (team or business) around for the foreseeable future.

The game I was watching was on the line, the outcome dependent on the performance of this franchise player. If he came through, his team would go into the playoffs, resulting in many more games, with additional coliseums filled with excited fans buying tickets, food and merchandise. I started to think about the owner of the team. His or her entire annual return, maybe the entire future value of the enterprise, was riding on the shoulders of this one player. One player determined the difference of hundreds of millions of dollars. I thought, if I were the owner of the team, I would hire and pay a few people six-figure salaries just to manage the well-being of this one player. It would be worth it.

Last year I read Tom Rath's book Wellbeing: The Five Essential Elements. Tom explains that true well-being encompasses your professional life (liking what you do every day), social life (having positive relationships and love), finances, physical fitness and health, and community involvement.

Thinking about this franchise player, I started masterminding the different ways the team owner could keep the player's job fun, challenging and enjoyable (yes, always SUCCESS on the brain!). Then ways to ensure he was hanging out only with people who were supportive, loving and positively reinforcing. Certainly I would hire the best and most trusted financial advisers.

Every aspect of his physical health, nutrition, training and rehabilitation would be managed and monitored by a team of world-class trainers. Then to complete the well-being management, I would be sure he was actively involved with charitable endeavors to make sure he gained a sense of his higher purpose and felt the fulfillment of contribution.

Then I thought... CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST AND GET THE SECRET

Lost for Two Decades, I Found THE SECRET!

Darren Hardy — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 16:00:57 +0000

It seems that a secret international society slipped into the United States of America sometime about the mid 1990s.

They stole our secret.

This is the secret we had previously stolen from Europe. This secret is what powered our rise to become a superpower during the twentieth century.

But we have been without the formula this secret reveals for almost two decades now. We have seen, felt and experience the results of being without it.

We have also seen the results of those who stole it from us. Members of this secret society belong to China, India, Mexico, Japan and others. They tried to bury it and hide it from us.

But I found it.

Many millenniums ago it was etched on a stone tablet. Since it has been passed down by an esoteric group of people. Less than 3% of those who have ever lived have learned of this secret. Even fewer have used its magic powers.

I have the tablet. I have the photo to prove it.

Do you want to see it?
Do you want the secret?
Are you sure?

If you learn of it and don’t use its formula, it could lead to a life of regret and despair.
In this case ignorance is bliss.
You could always excuse yourself by saying, “I just didn’t know the secret.”

But, if you want to know the secret… the secret to all success, in any aspect of life, the formula is... CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST AND GET THE SECRET

An Intelligence Test (2 of 2)

Darren Hardy — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 16:00:18 +0000

Like all change and transformations in life, the first step of improvement is awareness.

To improve our EQ (emotional intelligence) we first have to find out if we are being a “jerk at work” without our even knowing it.

Here’s what I suggest you do: perform a 360 Review on yourself.

We all think we know ourselves and how we show up in the world. But our perception of ourselves might be one of our greatest limitations. The effect we have on our environment and those around us could be very different from what we think… or want.

One year, I asked several people in my life how I was “showing up” to them. I was flabbergasted by what they told me. Wow, I had no idea I was “doing that!” I thought I was behaving one way, but I was being perceived completely different than I imagined.

At first I was hurt; then I grew defensive (back in my lower-EQ years). After receiving the same response more than once, I knew I was busted. I then realized why I was having difficulty advancing in certain areas of my life.

This could be happening to you… without you even knowing it. While it might be a scary and possibly painful process, it might also break you through what might be holding you back from your greater potential. That makes it worth it in the end.

Here are a few questions to ask:
How do I show up?
What do I think people judge or believe about me, right or wrong, when they first meet me?
Do I think I really listen to people?
Am I defensive?
Am I empathetic and do I demonstrate that I care?
If there is one thing I could improve to connect better with people, what would it be?

Now, here are a few key tips to this process... CLICK HERE TO READ REST OF POST

An Intelligence Test (1 of 2)

Darren Hardy — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 16:00:19 +0000

You probably know by now I was raised by a single father who was a university football coach by profession (and personality). My dad was only 24 years old when I was born so he only knew how to parent like he coached.

Like Tom Hanks said in the movie A League of Their Own, “There’s no crying in baseball!”

Well, there is definitely no crying in football… so there was no crying in our household.

You got used to hearing two things in our house: either “Stop your sniveling and tough it out” or “Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.” The last one always baffled me. If I was already crying I probably already came up with a good reason.

Anyway, the point is I was taught to control my emotions, to disconnect from what I was feeling and handle most situations mentally.

I have found many people of my generation, and most definitely those before me, were raised with very similar beliefs. The term “emotional” came to mean weak, out of control and even childish.

“Don’t be a baby!” we say to the little boy who is crying on the playground. “Leave him alone! Let him work it out!” and we admonish the little girl who runs to help the little boy.

On the other hand, our abilities to memorize and problem-solve, to spell words and do mathematical calculations, are easily measured on written tests and slapped as grades on report cards.

Ultimately, these intellectual abilities dictate which college will accept us and which career paths we‘re advised to follow.

However, this is the conundrum we are discovering: intellectual intelligence (IQ) is usually less important in determining how successful we will become than emotional intelligence (EQ).

We all know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful. What they are missing is... CLICK HERE TO READ REST OF POST

We are a ridiculous people…

Darren Hardy — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:00:59 +0000

Why do we tear down those who dedicate themselves to building us up?

We did it to Gandhi, Martin Luther King and even the man from Nazareth.

I’m a Board member of Invisible Children. Last week they released a video called KONY 2012. The objective was to bring the world’s awareness to the heinous crimes of the LRA and it’s leader Joseph Kony—the number one war criminal in the world (indicted into the International Criminal Court list in July of 2008 but has not yet been brought to justice).

This organization is fueled off the passion, heart and soul of three audaciously brave young men and the millions of young people they have shaken out of an apathetic stupor to rise up and take action on this urgent and vital cause.

For seven long hard years (and you thought this was an overnight sensation!) millions of young people and most especially the three founders have sacrificed their sanity, nights and weekends and even put their lives at risk for this cause. I’ve met the hardest working people on the planet and in my opinion, no one works harder and longer than these three young men, I promise.

Their video struck a heart cord. Their audacious goal was 500,000 views. It has now been viewed over 90 million times. Everyone attached (and those not) to this issue in some way has also been called to task. Instead of championing these brave people for doing what they have not been able to do, they attempt to tear them down and find fault. Really? It angers and saddens me to see this part of our human nature.

I even had to film a video defending their paltry compensation. You can see it here. It’s comical and ironic.

Why do we do this? It’s ridiculous.

Notice I say “we” as we are ALL capable of this and we all do it at times. We need to drive this side of our nature into a small corner and amplify the side that sees what’s right, good and positive about people, circumstances and causes.

There is an old Cherokee tale tells of a grandfather teaching life principles to his grandson. The wise old Cherokee said, son, on the inside of every person the battle is raging between two wolves. One wolf is evil. It’s angry, jealous, unforgiving, proud, and lazy. The other wolf is good. It is filled with love, kindness, humility, and encouragement. These two wolves are constantly fighting the grandfather said. The little boy thought about it and said grandfather, which wolf is going to win? The grandfather smiled and said which one ever you feed.

Sure there is always fault to find. No one or no thing is perfect. If you look for it you can find faulty brush strokes on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. Instead you should step back and take in the majesty of the entire ceiling. Look for, be inspired by and support the beauty in the totality of the movement.

I ask you, members of the SUCCESS Community, to sweep your own front porch first as an example to the rest of the world. Celebrate people’s successes. Amplify the good side of your nature. Put your attention and spotlight on what’s positive and good about people and circumstances around you—particularly if those people have dedicated themselves to doing good things for others.

As an entire species we need to nourish the good wolf side of our nature and starve the jealous, angry and envious wolf that battles inside us.

You can show your support of Invisible Children here and give them your encouraging words in the blog comments. I'll be sure they get them. They need to hear from you. We need to be sure the naysayers don't dampen their spirit. CLICK HERE TO GO TO BLOG AND COMMENT