Date RIGHT Now!

Hats Off To Men For Planning Dates!

2011-03-17T07:04:00.001-07:00

I recently had the experience of planning an entire weekend of dates with someone coming in from out of town. It was my first time of planning dates with someone I barely knew. I normally do not rob men of this role as it is what they do best, but this was a special situation. I am glad I had this opportunity as it really gave me much needed insight into what men must think and feel when planning dates.

From my perspective it can be brutal! Think about it, you are planning a date with someone you just met and you do not know anything about what they like or do not like. What if they hate a certain kind of food? What if their idea of fun is NOT what you plan? What if they are allergic to something and you pick that type of food? Men I have a new found respect for you!

I cheated somewhat or at least took the easy way out by mainly choosing my favorite places to eat and some of my favorite activities to do. I would not suggest you embrace that as fully as I did, but maybe use it as a fall back. I did incorporate in a couple of new places or activities. I also know normally you are planning one date at a time, not three for an entire weekend.

In general, women prefer to talk and be listened to and men prefer action and risk. Both always rate laughing as a must! Your date will be most successful if you can accomplish combining all three - talking, action and laughter! It is said that if you can do something that creates fear, excitement or adrenaline then you bond more and faster. I do not mean that you are to scare your date, but something that has a risk or danger factor can increase your connection.

What you can ask yourself when planning a date is, “if a stranger came to my town, what is the number one place I would recommend them to eat? and what is the one thing they had to do or see if they only had time for one activity?” This would be a great date.

These are all mainly dates for the “getting to know each other” stage of dating. I do not recommend movies, concerts, or any places where you would not be able to comfortably talk for initial dates. I do, however, recommend something that will make you stand out above the rest!

After experiencing this from the other side of the fence I wanted to put together a list of as many date ideas I could for all those marvelous men out there who take on this challenging part of dating! I have combined my list of date ideas with several others from on line or books I have read.

These are in no particular order, but I tried to categorize them:

FUN AND UNUSUAL:

Candy store or factory

Music store

Pet store

Photo shoot – buy 2 disposable cameras and go somewhere like a train yard, flower farm, zoo or another funky place and shoot pictures. Plan a time to get back together to go over the pictures. (Men you take the cameras and develop them. Unless you don’t want a 2nd date, let her take the camera she used and develop the pictures herself.) (from The Dirt on Dating by Hayley DiMarco)

Scavenger hunt – have her go on a scavenger hunt. Give her a note that tells here where she needs to go first. Make it a fun place that she might like – like give her $20 in an envelope and tell her to go to a certain store and buy herself something small. Or send her to the flower shop to pick up some flowers that you have already paid for. When she gets to the first place have another note there for her that will lead her to another place. Give her about four places to go before she gets where you are. (from The Dirt on Dating by Hayley DiMarco)

Explore – go somewhere neither of you have gone before. (from The Dirt on Dating by Hayley DiMarco)

Teach – Teach your date something that you do really well. (from The Dirt on Dating by Hayley DiMarco)

Taste testing – pick one kind of food or drink that she loves, like a drink or dessert then go to four different restaurants and judge each one based on the quality and taste. Talk about the food you choose to judge, the special tastes, the way it’s served, the service. Make a night of being a food critic. (from The Dirt on Dating by Hayley DiMarco)

Q&A – get a book of questions and spend the evening over dinner asking each other weird stuff that you would never have thought of. (from The Dirt on Dating by Hayley DiMarco)

Theme Date – Find out what your date likes and build around that. If she loves Italy, make it an Italian night. Bring her Italian chocolate, take her to an Italian restaurant, buy an Italian CD to play in the car, and then rent an Italian movie with subtitles. (from The Dirt on Dating by Hayley DiMarco)

Vacation at Home (Staycation) – Never been a tourist in your own town? Well, give it a try. Go to the local visitor’s bureau or chamber of commerce and ask about touristy things to do in your area. The staff there can help you come up with all kinds of fun things to do. You can even decide to take a camera around with you and ask people to take pictures of you guys. Girls love memory-makers like photos. (from The Dirt on Dating by Hayley DiMarco)

Old folks home – talk to old people, find out about their pasts, help them out. (from The Dirt on Dating by Hayley DiMarco)

Go around the city with sidewalk chalk and draw hearts with equations inside on random things.
(from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras.(from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

With camera and pair of boots, make photo log of a day in the life of the invisible man. (from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Write a piece of fiction together. Outside at a cafe. Ask strangers when you get stuck. (from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen. (from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence.
(from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books.
(from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Dress up as superheroes and stop at least one petty crime “ie. jaywalking, littering….” (from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.
(from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Dress to the nines, pretend to be married, and test drive very expensive vehicles at an auto dealership.
(from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever. Have an unabashed good time!.
(from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

In the middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella. (from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Go to a minor league baseball game under the stars. Tell each other stories about how bad you are at athletics. Randomly cheer for both teams. Eat lots of Cracker Jacks. (from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras. (from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Walk around the city all night and find a place to eat breakfast at dawn. (from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Rent a movie you’ve never seen before. Set on mute and improvise dialogue. (from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

DIFFERENT DINNER IDEAS:

Dinner cruise – where available

Progressive dinner – each part of meal is done at a different restaurant

Go to a restaurant and convince the cook to create something completely new for you. (from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to. With fake names.
(from http://everythingrandom.net/post/62493241/unusual-and-fun-date-ideas)

Backwards dinner – Have dinner backwards. Start with dessert and work your way back. (from The Dirt on Dating by Hayley DiMarco)

ACTIVE (from less adrenaline to more):

Zoo

Circus

Picnic in the park

Horseshoes, badminton, frisbee golf, croquet, bocce ball, washers pitching game, ladder ball

Miniature golf or real golf or indoor golf simulation place

Horseback riding

Bicycle ride

Bowling

Indoor batting cages

Driving range

Tennis

Roller skating

Paddle boating

Laser tag

Ice Skating

Racquetball

Hiking

Rock or wall climbing

Sledding, snowboarding or skiing

Target shooting

Haunted house or forest

Zip line, repelling, sky coaster, or bungee jumping

Amusement park

Paint ball

CLASSES:

Cooking class

Wine tasting class

Massage classes

Dance class

SPECTATOR:

Comedy Club

Melodrama

Museum or art gallery

College or professional basketball/football/hockey/soccer/baseball game

SPECTATOR WITH A LITTLE MORE RISK FACTOR:

Roller Derby

Nascar or other drag racing

Motor cross

Rodeo

Tough man contest

Boxing

----------
I hope that all of you who read this will add a few ideas of your own! Fellow daters help each other out! Every time I hear another good idea I will add it to this blog.

Until next time…..

Happy Dating,

Ronda Welsh, Your Dating Strategist
Helping singles remove the doubt from dating.
www.resolveittogether.com
ronda@resolveittogether.com
http://daterightnow.blogspot.com/
316-409-4431

P.S.
I also know a man who planned a very special birthday for his wife which I thought was the best EVER! He rented a limo. He had it pick her up and take her to different places that were very special locations with meaning to her life. At each stop there was a person they would pick up in the limo with a note about how she had met this person at this locale or about a special time they had at that place. For example they went to her high school and picked up her best friend, and then they went to the hospital where her daughter was born and picked up her daughter. I think they even went to the place where he and her met and picked him up…maybe that was the first stop. Anyway you get the gist….this is an idea for later in the relationship.

O.S.D. = Opposite Sex Degree

2011-02-28T19:18:00.000-08:00

Having a G.E.D. or High School Diploma will not do! An MBA or PH.D is a must!

Whether you are male or female, 19 or 55 years old, if you are not achieving success in dating you are going to have to go back to school!

If you are relying on family examples, advice from friends, past experiences and television as the sources of your knowledge regarding the opposite sex then you are at the Drop Out level of education. The more fulfilling you want your dating experiences to be the higher the level of education needed.

The level of knowledge you gain regarding the opposite sex is in direct proportion to the results you can expect. Start where you are and work your way through each level: Drop Out, G.E.D., High School Diploma, Associates, Bachelors, Masters and Doctoral.

Trade schools or certificate programs should only be used as Continuing Education Credits after a formal education.

You will use all of the same tools to obtain your O.S.D. as you would in a normal education setting: study, read, write, research, attend class, internship, etc. Those tools translated to options in the dating world are as follows:

- go on dates with all types of the opposite sex, soaking up all you can about their mannerisms, likes, dislikes, characteristics, habits, feelings, etc.

- read every book and article on the opposite sex;

- go to every workshop or seminar about the opposite sex or relationships;

- go to a therapist or dating coach;

- interview happy couples;

- keep a journal of what you learn; and

- do everything you can do to learn all you can about the opposite sex.

You will never "Graduate." Your O.S.D. will expire and no longer be valid unless you are always learning about the opposite sex. Your continued success, even once you are in a relationship or married, will require you to get Continuing Education Credits consistently.

Every man and woman who is single has the desire to be in a fulfilling relationship, but not everyone will do what it takes to learn all they can about the opposite sex to ensure success. Don't be a drop out get to studying!

Until next time…

Happy Dating,

Ronda Welsh, Your Dating Strategist
Helping singles remove the doubt from dating!
www.resolveittogether.com
ronda@resolveittogether.com
316-409-4431

P.S. Post a message on here each time you learn something you did not already know about the opposite sex.

Time In The Apartment

2011-01-31T21:14:00.000-08:00

I stole the phrase "time in the apartment" from a friend of mine who is single after a marriage and divorce. Maybe theft is too harsh; after all, he gave me permission to use it. As my friend was explaining what he meant by “time in the apartment”, I realized he was talking about a very important key to future dating and relationship success after a break up or divorce. It also dawned on me that I must put in writing the what, why, how, where, who and when of "time in the apartment”, so as many people as possible can benefit from it!

What does “time in the apartment” mean?

"Time in the apartment” encompasses everything that you need to do for yourself after a breakup such as the following:

Being alone for an adequate amount of time before getting involved again;

Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually;

Healing from your last relationship;

Getting to know yourself, by discovering who you were and who you now want to be; and finally

Loving yourself.

It is likely after your relationship ended you have been broken down as far down you can go, and now “time in the apartment” is where the rebuilding begins.

What is “time in the apartment” NOT? It is NOT:

a time to consider or pursue any sort of romantic, short-term or long-term, relationship;

a time to call your old love interests and try to rekindle them; or

a time to prepare and post your profile and start perusing on-line.

It is simply a time to lick your wounds and prepare for the day you are ready to get back out there.

Why is “time in the apartment" imperative to your success in your next relationship?

It is the time and place where you will go through the grief cycle. Things you may grieve are your ex, your marriage or relationship, family, the past, the lost future, life as you knew it, life as you thought it was going to be, property you lost, money you lost, and hope you lost. If you skip it, the grief will rear its ugly head at a later, inappropriate time!

I am a big proponent of “time in the apartment”, because how you end a relationship and whether or not you walk away with baggage, are vital pieces to the success of your next relationship! “Time in the apartment” is how you accomplish those two things in the most effective way.

“The apartment” is likely to start out as a dark, dreary, depressing place! But if you stay there, sit with yourself, feel your feelings, experience your dire straits in full color. Have stinking thinking. Cry, get angry, have a damn pity party! Do it up right! Do not hold back! Reflect, blame, judge, reminisce. Tomorrow will be a better day! The sun will shine again! You will feel peace and even joy again! But until then get to doing whatever you need to do, to love yourself!

During your “time in the apartment”, you will likely move through it faster and heal better if you seek counseling or coaching, start an exercise program, start a new hobby or revive an old one, or seek self improvement in any fashion that is comfortable to you. Or better yet, the further out of your comfort zone you can get with new things (of course legally and morally) the more powerful it will be for you.

How much time does each person need “in the apartment?”

Each person’s amount of “time in the apartment“that they need will vary. For some it may only be six months, for others it can take as long as two or more years. One part of the equation is how long your relationship lasted. You will know you are ready because your steps will be lighter, no longer like walking in sand; your heart will be more joyful, no longer twisted in pain; and your life will be easier, no longer a complete train wreck.

There is a point where you must “move out” of the apartment and begin living again! If it seems like you are going father and father down in the dumps, things are getting bleaker and bleaker, and you do not see light at the end of the tunnel, you must seek professional help, whether it be a physician, therapist or pastor. Some people require help getting out of “the apartment” and that is perfectly fine!

One thing I have often heard from people is that some think “time in the apartment” is completed before the divorce is final, because their marriage was already dead so many of the last years...Sorry that does NOT count. You might have progressed through part of the process, but once the whole thing is truly final there is still more to complete!

Where is "time in the apartment" served?

Many people getting a divorce have owned a home and they either have to move out or sell it, so they temporarily get an actual apartment. Or they shared an apartment with their love interest and now have to get their own. Some find moving back in with their parents for a short period is the best option for them. Others have even stayed in a friend’s basement. The location of where you serve your “time” is not as critical as actually making sure you serve “the time.” Also important is what you do during your “time.” It is a time to be picking up the pieces financially, emotionally and physically, because every area of your life has been affected. Re-read the "Why" section.

Who needs to spend "time in the apartment" and when do they serve their time?

Everyone who just had a relationship end by a break up or divorce must do their “time in the apartment”. “Time” is to be served IMMEDIATELY after the break up and BEFORE entering into a new relationship.

I have stressed this important element to every coaching client I have ever had who is single after a breakup or divorce. Sometimes it falls on deaf ears and sometimes it is soaked up like a sponge. The deaf ear people are still not in successful, fulfilling relationships. The sponge people are at peace, happy and experiencing the joy relationships are meant to be. I have seen it over and over again where people skip doing their “time in the apartment” and rush right into the next relationship. Some are so desperate to not be alone they do what I call the "overlap" technique. They line up the next victim to be in a relationship with before ending the current one. What a recipe for disaster. Every person I know who has rushed into the next relationship or "overlapped" relationships ends up in a bad or unhealthy relationship that also does not last. Then the miserable cycle repeats itself.

Heed my words and set yourself up for success not failure!

Call to action:

If you are "in the apartment" now and you need encouragement and support, reply and I will email you.

If you have successfully served your "time in the apartment" post your insight for those who have yet to serve.

If you skipped your "time in the apartment", it is never too late. Take time to be completely by yourself without being in any type of romantic relationship whatsoever! You will be amazed at the results. You will thank me and yourself! So will your next love interest!

Until next time…..

Happy Dating,

Ronda Welsh, Your Dating Strategist
Helping singles remove the doubt from dating!
www.resolveittogether.com
ronda@resolveittogether.com
316-409-4431

P.S. The word time was used 38 times in this blog (40 now). What does that tell you?

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire!

2010-12-31T15:21:00.000-08:00

LIAR, LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!

Each and every reason that rolls off your tongue for you being single is either a lie or an excuse! I am normally not so blunt or cruel in my blogs, but it is going to be 2011 soon and I don’t want you to waste another year believing these things that are keeping you from being in the relationship of your dreams. Do you really want to spend another New Years Eve or another Valentines alone? No you really don’t!

I want you to have that special someone in your life that you miss when you are not with them, that you cannot imagine your life without, that you smile every time you think of them. Someone who gets you! Someone who you cannot wait to get home to and share the events of your day with. Someone who laughs at your jokes and you laugh at their sense of humor. Someone who you cannot keep your hands off of! Someone who knows you inside and out and loves you even more because of it. I want this for you and you want it too!

The lies or excuses that you must resolve to get rid for the year 2011 are as follows:

I am happy by myself.
I am content focusing on my career or education.
I don’t need anyone in my life.
I am better off without the added drama in my life.
The ones I like not like me and the ones that like me I don’t like!
I am not going to settle.
Maybe some people are just meant to be alone.
I do not know where to meet quality, available singles that I am attracted to.
I’m not ready.
I would rather be by myself than be in a bad relationship.
My life is so full I don’t think I have time for someone.
On-line dating is a joke or does not work.
There must be something wrong with me because I cannot find someone.
All of the good ones are taken.
I have to get my act together first.
I want to finish my degree first, I want to finish my house first, I want to get my finances in order first, I want to get my children raised first, and on and on and on. There is always going to be something that needs to be done…first…, but if you wait until they are all accomplished you will be dead and you will have died alone!

Each of you reading this desperately want to find that someone special to have a meaningful relationship with and if it were easy and there was zero chance of being hurt you would jump on it! Actually a lot of you keep ending up in dead end relationships, relationships of convenience, one night stands or other sexual encounters because you are lonely and want to be with someone! And bad! You say you are not going to settle and you believe if you are not committing or getting married you are not settling, but as long as you are seeing someone that is not compatible with you or who does not treat you as you deserve or who is not 100% emotionally and physically available then you ARE SETTLING! You are settling for less than, for a relationship of convenience not one of fulfillment, for unavailable people. And that is UNEXCEPTABLE FROM HERE ON OUT! And most importantly if you just remain alone and single and safe you are settling too! Settling for mediocrity!

Following is what you really mean when you say or think the above lies:

I don’t want to invest time, energy or money into finding someone because of laziness, doubt, low self esteem, fear of rejection, or fear of really finding someone wonderful (that is the ultimate fear of success).
I do not believe I can have it all.
I do not believe there is someone out there perfect for me.
I believe I will be rejected and hurt again.
I do not want to take risks.
I do not want to face change.
I am scared to death.
BOTH LISTS ARE ALL LIMITING DOUBTS, BELIEFS AND FEARS THAT ARE EXACTLY WHAT IS STANDING IN YOUR WAY OF FINDING AND HAVING THE LOVE AND INTIMACY YOU SO DEEPLY DESIRE!

Every time someone tells me they like being single I cringe because what they like is freedom and safety, but I know that deep down what they don’t like about being single far outweighs that! When you finally do connect with that person that you are meant to be with, that person that is perfect for you, then you will still have freedom and safety PLUS all the fantastic things that come with having someone to share your life with.

If you really were happy all by yourself and really did not want someone special in your life then why do you keep doing self defeating things like dating and sleeping with married people, losers or otherwise unavailable people? Or why do you sleep with someone the first time you meet them; or chase and harass someone who is not right for you or is not as equally interested in you as you are them? I’ll tell you why, because you really want love! You are just going about it all the wrong ways or at least all of the lies you are telling yourself are blocking you from having it!

I will give you this, a few folks, a low, low number, are meant to be here on earth by themselves their entire life….no wait I cannot lie to you……NOONE is meant to be here and spend their entire life alone. I promise I will not to lie to you if you can promise me that you will stop lying to yourself!

A therapist once said that if you keep your walls up and keep yourself safe then you tolerate more B.S., but if you let your walls down you can feel faster so you will know when things aren’t right or when you could get hurt and you can eliminate them faster rather than putting up with them. FREE yourself of those walls NOW!

Whether you are Christian or not, there is absolute truth in “Faith without works is dead” and it applies to you and your dating life! Praying and believing God to put that person in your life is a must, but at the same time He requires you to take action and do your part and that is not sitting at home wishing and dreaming and hoping! It is getting out there among singles, going on dates and taking risks and chances!

Now for 2011 I ask, no I demand, that you choose some of the following forward moving action steps that will get you out of your rut, out of your comfort zone, out of your box (as it relates to your romantic life that is):

• Go on 100 first dates. Not 99, not 10, not any other number but 100! (I am not hearing all the lies, doubts and excuses that just started popping into your mind!) Just do it however you can!
• Every time you see someone you are interested in approach them no matter what.
• Host a “Date My Friend” party. This is where everyone brings one single friend of the opposite sex to a party of all singles.
• Attend three speed dating events (maybe different age groups, or different locations or by different companies).
• Start you own Meetup for singles doing a hobby you enjoy.
• Hire a dating coach.
• Join a matching making service.
• Get professional help from a dating coach to help you write your on-line profile. DO NOT do this on your own, or with the help of your well-meaning friends.
• Get on at least one, but preferable all of the on-line dating services like Match.com, Eharmony.com, and PlentyofFish.com. BUT you must go out on a date with someone from on-line once a month at the very least. None of this sending emails for six months crap! Use caution when meeting strangers for the first time. Have a dating buddy who knows where you are going, who you are meeting and call after the date to let them know you are safe.
• Join a gym and go at least three times a week.
• Join a club of some hobby that interests you, i.e. photography, hiking, golf, dancing, public speaking, writing, cooking, wine tasting….anything, you name it, you go! If one does not exist you must create it!
• Ask every person you know to set you up with at least one single person they know. Even if they end up not being the one, you must get out there and date!
• Create a list of all the things you want to do on a date. Be very creative and innovative and then on your 100 or monthly dates do them! It is said that when you can do something that creates fear, excitement or adrenaline then you bond more and faster. (This does not mean scare them to death if they do not like being scared.)
• Do at least five things that are out of your norm in regards to dating. For example, go on a date with someone in another state, go on a date with someone of another race, go out on three dates in one day, go on a date to a place you neither have ever been, etc.)
• Write a list of all the lies you have been telling yourself about being single and then rewrite them into positive truths. Every time the old one creeps into your mind or comes out of your mouth say the new one 10 times. Do this until you only think and believe the new ones. An example would be:
Old lie= There are no quality, available singles who I am attracted to in my area.
New truth= There are quality, available singles who I am attracted to EVERYWHERE I GO!
• If you expect to meet someone that is athletic and in shape, or who dresses nice, or who is a strong Christian, or who is attractive, or who is well educated, or who has money, or any of your other deal breakers or preferences, you better be doing everything in your power to bring the equal side of that equation to the table! Pick the top one you desire in someone and for 2011 become that yourself. AND still pick another option on this list that has you going out on dates while you are working on this one!
• Read the following books (and yes ALL of them even if they are for females or males and you are the opposite read them!):

Mar and Venus on a Date – John Gray

He Is Just Not Into You- Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

Date…or Soul Mate? - Neil Clark Warren, PH.D.

Dating for Dummies – Dr. Joy Browne

Easy Does It Dating Guide (for people in recovery) – Mary Faulkner

The Manual – Steve Santagati

Finding Mr. Right – Stephen Arterburn and Dr. Meg. J Rinck

The Five Love Languages- Gary Chapman

Cracking the Communication Code –Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Fireproof – watch the movie!

Any reading or writing choices on this list cannot be your only choice, you must choose one of the other things that gets you out there actually meeting and dating other singles.

I expect you to email me and tell me the one or ones you are choosing to start with for 2011 and I will hold you accountable! That way you are not alone in this adventure! I will try to be gentle, but you can count on me to call you on your lies along the way!

The ones who are committed to making their dating life legendary in 2011 will do all of the bullet pointed actions steps! LOOK OUT!

This is a quote from a person I know from on-line that I love and that I am requesting you adopt:
“I am looking to find the person I am supposed to be with. I understand that finding relationships can be difficult and maintaining one can be even harder but we are put on this earth with a desire for love and I choose the task. “

It is after all just a choice, but as someone very wise recently said, “it is the 2nd most important choice you have to make in life!” Choose wisely!

Until next time…..

Happy Dating,

Ronda Welsh, Your Dating Strategist
Helping singles remove the doubt from dating.www.resolveittogether.com
ronda@resolveittogether.com
316-409-4431

Are you spending another New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day alone?

2010-11-07T13:50:00.000-08:00

To find out what can be done to change that, call or email me, Ronda Welsh, for either a complimentary coaching session via phone or information on my Group Coaching Program for Singles. (See the October 22, 2010 blog that explains in detail the Group Coaching Program for Singles. Although slots for the Group Coaching Program are no longer available for the start dates in November 2010 there will soon be new dates for January 2011.)

In the meantime, what is one thing you could do that would be stepping outside of your comfort zone in the area of dating? Is it signing up with an on-line dating service? Is it asking friends to set you up with someone? Is it asking that girl out or letting that guy know you are interested? Is it moving forward with a new relationship regardless of the fear you feel? Is it ending a dead-end relationship? Is it being by yourself for the first time in your life? Is it doing the sample session with me? Is it signing up for the Group Coaching Program for Singles?

It could be a step that is just dipping your toe into the water to test it out or it could be a step that is a dive off the cliff...you choose. BUT DO SOMETHING TODAY!

Happy Dating,

Ronda Welsh, Your Dating Coach
Helping singles remove the doubt from dating!
www.resolveittogether.com
ronda@resolveittogether.com
http://daterightnow.blogspot.com/
316-409-4431

Group Coaching for Singles EVERYWHERE

2010-10-22T18:51:00.000-07:00

Hi, it’s Ronda here.

If you are now in the relationship of your dreams disregard this. If you are going to be spending yet another holiday season single and alone, read on.

If you could wave a realistic magic wand and be in the relationship of your dreams six months to a year from now, visualize exactly what that would look and feel like for you.

If every other method you have tried has failed in finding the relationship of your dreams, the program I am about to explain is for you.

I am sending this offer to you because you have most likely had a complimentary coaching session with me about how to find that special someone. At the time of our session you were unable to hire me as your personal one-on-one dating coach. I am adamant about helping every unmarried person who has a desire to be in the relationship of their dreams, so I came up with a way to reach more singles quicker. (If you have not had a complimentary coaching session and would like to try that before you sign up for the group coaching then email me asap and I will set that up immediately.)

If today as you read this you are no closer to finding “the one” than you were when we last spoke, then the program I am about to describe is for you!
After coaching hundreds of singles I have come up with a group coaching program to make it easier for more singles like you to invest in. There’s just no way I can work with everyone one-on-one. Plus, not everyone can afford my current 1-to-1 coaching rates of $249 to $499 per month.

Following are the basic details of my new group coaching program:

• The sessions will be done live via telephone.
• The sessions will be done once a month or twice a month (depending on the group you choose.)
• The sessions will be an hour and a half long.
• The sessions will be $47 for the once a month group or $97 for the twice a month group (depending on the group you choose.)
• The sessions will be with 10-15 other singles.

Each call will be jammed full of my best ideas, strategies, tricks, and techniques for more successful dating.

Following are the more juicy details of my new group coaching program:

• You will receive information about dating from a dating coach >me
• You will receive a workbook each month to download and complete.
• You will receive input from other singles on the calls.
• You will receive encouragement and support.
• You will receive better dating methods, skills and tools.
• You will receive change and movement towards finding that special someone by being held accountable.
• You will receive access to me in between the group calls via email.
• You will receive an audio recording of each call so you can listen to them as many times as you need.

Each month you will have actions steps to take to move you towards the relationship of your dreams. You will be supported by me and the rest of the group to be sure you complete such steps.

Following is a brief description of what will be covered each month:

Month one:
We will work together so you are crystal clear on exactly who the ideal person is for you.

Month two:
We will work together so you become powerfully confident about the person you are and what you have to offer someone else.

Month three:
Together we will bust through all of the limiting beliefs, doubts and fears that are stopping you from being in the relationship of your dreams.

Month four:
We will work together so you have not just an equivalent of a high school diploma or a bachelor’s degree on everything there is to know about the opposite sex, but a Masters or Doctorate!

Month five:
Together we will determine what the “rules” of dating are and what methods of dating will best fit you. We will work together to create an on-line profile that will generate better results than what you have yielded up to now.

Month six:
We will work together to be able to deflect rejection so you do not create more baggage to carry to the next relationship. We will also work together until you master rejecting others in ways that do not leave residue that spills over into your future relationships.

Month seven:
Once we know who you are looking for, who you are, what is holding you back, all you can about the opposite sex, how you want to date, and the best ways to end relationships we will create specific, measurable goals and an action plan to achieve them.

You may choose to be dating the entire seven months we work together or you may choose to wait until you finish the program. Either way you will be on your way to finding that special someone and having the relationship of your dreams!

For faster results you will want to sign up for the package with two calls per month.

PRICING AND PACKAGES:

PREMIER GROUP COACHING PACKAGE:
$97 per month for twice a month group = $679
If normal price would be $2,614.50
If you pay for all seven months in advance the discount price is $630.
The calls for this group coaching package will take place from 6:30 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. CST the 2nd and 4th Tuesday of each month beginning November 9th.

BASIC GROUP COACHING PACKAGE:
$47 per month for once a month group = $329
If normal price would be $1,307.25
If pay for all seven months in advance the discount price is $280.
The calls for this group coaching package will take place from 6:00 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. CST the 2nd Thursday of each month beginning November 11th.

My 100% happiness guarantee applies to these group programs. So if after 30 days you are not completely happy and satisfied then you can get a complete refund and out of the commitment.

I am only launching two of these group sessions starting in November 2010. What a better way to spend the winter months than preparing for a summer of dating that special someone!

There are only 30 total spots available for the groups so sign up TODAY! BEFORE I EVEN GOT THIS POSTED I HAD TWO PEOPLE ALREADY SIGN UP, SO THERE ARE ONLY 28 SPOTS LEFT NOW.

HOW TO SIGN UP:

Step 1:
Email the following information to Ronda@resolveittogether.com to register:
• Your name;
• Your email;
• Your phone number;
• The city and state you are in;
• The package you are registering for (Premier or Basic); and
• Answer the following questions:

1. How long have you been single?
2. On a scale of zero to 10 how important is it for you to be in the relationship of your dreams?
3. What are the biggest dating challenges you face regularly?
4. What would you like most to accomplish through group coaching?

Step 2:
Go to www.resolveittogether.com
Click the Payment tab up in the right hand corner; and
Choose one of the four payment options and pay depending on the package you chose.

Step 3:
Watch for confirmation email that will confirm your registration and advise you of how to prepare for the first group coaching call!

I cannot wait to work with you and share in your joy as you experience more successful dating and move toward the relationship of your dreams!

Until our first call,

Happy Dating,

Ronda Welsh, Your Dating Coach
Helping singles remove the doubt from dating!
www.resolveittogether.com
ronda@resolveittogether.com
http://daterightnow.blogspot.com/
316-409-4431

P.S. While you are waiting for the group coaching to start there are some great tips and dating information on my blog: http://daterightnow.blogspot.com/

Dating Tips #6 & #7

2010-10-19T16:12:00.001-07:00

Dating Tip # 6
The woman lets the man know she is interested by flirting (see future tips) and the man always asks for the date.

Dating Tip # 7
Whoever asks for the date is the one who pays for the date (if the woman wants to offer to pay once in a while or cook dinner later into the relationship that is fine, but for the most part the man always pays). All of the dating tips I give are for “successful” dating. You may agree or disagree with them. You may choose to follow them or not. You will have more success in dating if you choose to follow the tips I give. Another point you need to know is that there are always exceptions to everything. But they are exactly that, exceptions, not the general rule of thumb that works the best overall. There are proven reasons why the man always asks for the date and always pays for the date. Here are the references and the information I gleaned from them that confirms this:

WHO PURSUES AND WHY (Dating Tip #6):

The Bible
Proverbs 18:22 (New International Version) - He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.

Mars and Venus on a Date – Dr. John Gray
“Men pursue and Women flirt. To create a necessary attraction to move a dating couple through the five stages of dating, men and women must maintain complementary roles. To create a relationship, a woman must be careful not to pursue a man but to be responsive to his pursuit.” http://home.marsvenus.com/

He’s Just Not That Into You – Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
“Don’t get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he’ll do the asking.” “Just because you like to lead doesn’t mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.” “You are good enough to be asked out.”
http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/068987474X

Marriable (taking the desperate out of dating) – Hayley DiMarco and Michael DiMarco
“Men lose interest quicker when women call. And it’s in direct proportion to how much they call. Deep down, men know women want commitment – maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but the fact remains that more women want commitment than men, and probably sooner rather than later. So every time a women calls, she gives a ringing reminder that she’s desperate for commitment.” “And the plain and simple truth is, in the early stages of dating, men feel intimidated by women when she acts like a man, doing all the pursuing. But if he’s not calling, it’s less about intimidation and more about straight men not wanting to date men no matter how pretty they are.”

“At first a guy might like a woman calling all the time. He’ll be flattered. But the thrill of the chase ends prematurely and leaves a bad taste in his mouth when he’s the one being pursued. It’s like winning the game in the first move – it’s boring. Guys like the challenge. They like the game, so don’t let them win on the first play. It’s like you’re playing hide-and-seek and you’re afraid the guy isn’t going to find you, so you hide in the middle of the room. Ooh, what a rousing game that would be. Focus on the fact that you want to play hide-and-seek, not on just being found. Give the guy the time to enjoy the game.”
http://www.hungryplanetmedia.com/

The Manual – Steve Santagati
“by allowing us to pursue you, you are catering to our atavistic desire to hunt.” “the more work we do, the more invested we are.” “Men can’t handle aggressive women for several reasons” two of which are: • “They feel emasculated by women who seem more confident than they are; and • They like to feel they are pursuing or hunting you, and if you are too aggressive or available, it takes away from them.” “Overall, you want to be a little aggressive if that’s your nature, and then let him come to you. Don’t deny a man his desire to hunt you down. “ http://www.badboysfinishfirst.com/

Dating for Dummies – Dr. Joy Browne
“I bet even with God as the go-between, sooner or later Eve expected Adam to pony up and find the courage to ask if they could take a walk in Paradise.” http://www.dummies.com/store/product/Dating-For-Dummies-2nd-Edition.productCd-0471768707.html

WHO PAYS AND WHY (Dating Tip #7):

Dating for Dummies – Dr. Joy Browne
“You asked. You pay.” “What paying means:
• You’re investing in this relationship….no matter how briefly;
• You’re not cheap…..on any level; and
• You’ve got class and style…..”
http://www.dummies.com/store/product/Dating-For-Dummies-2nd-Edition.productCd-0471768707.html

Steve Santagati
“Latins not Dutch – Latins are lovers, not the Dutch, so don’t be cheap. Pay for the girl. If you’re the fem fatale on the date, offer to chip in and say thank you when he declines your offer.” http://www.sceneboston.com/2010/10/by-bad-boy-steve-santagati/

Marriable (taking the desperate out of dating) – Hayley DiMarco and Michael DiMarco
“The rule is, the one who asks, pays. And since you are the man and doing the asking, guess what? You’d better be prepared to pay. If you aren’t, a woman will complain about you to her friends for weeks. You will become the brunt of all jokes if you ask her to pay on the first or even the second date. Nothing screams whimp more than a man who won’t pay. In fact, if you ask her to pay or to go Dutch, then you might as well have started the date with the words, “ I only want to be friends” or “Dating me is going to be a drain on your purse, count on it. “ Because that’s what asking her to open up her wallet means.”

“The equality-seeking guy might not think that asking a woman to pay could make him look desperate, but oddly enough, it does. Compared to the “plan and pay man,” the “let’s go Dutch” boy paints a the picture that he obviously hasn’t had a lot of successful dates. The woman instinctually knows this, and though she might feel a bit of disgust for him, she also might temper that with a bit of pity. “
http://www.hungryplanetmedia.com/

Greg Behrendt
“First date dos and don'ts - "It's Just A First Date prescribes that you play to win," says Greg Follow these first date dos and don'ts: 4) Let him pay” http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/1431156/We-give-a-sneak-preview-of-Greg-Behrendts-new-dating-book-with-tips-on-first-dates-and-relationships.html

Dr. John Gray and Victoria Michaels Rogers (Ms. Rogers is author of The Automatic 2nd Date):
“You are his guest, he will pay (unless you asked him out then it is not really a date anyway). By paying for your meal, your man feels good about himself by being a provider and protector. It makes him feel needed. Do not take that away from him, especially on the ever-so-crucial first and second dates. Dr. John Gray puts it this way, “When a man receives the message that she does not trust him to fulfill her needs, he feels immediately rejected and is turned off.” Refusing to allow a man to pay for you is not simply being polite or considerate; rather it’s revealing a mistrust of your man’s ability to pay for you tonight or ever.”
http://home.marsvenus.com/
http://www.mantokeep.com/

Whether you take it from me or one of the afore-mentioned experts, I hope you get the gist of why the man asks and pays. If nothing else instead of continuing to do what you have always done and get what you have always gotten, test the theory out to see if you get different results. The main result will be both the man and the woman feeling better about themselves. How can you lose if that is the case!

Until next time…..

Happy Dating,

Ronda Welsh, Your Dating Strategist
Helping singles remove the doubt from dating.
http://www.resolveittogether.com/
ronda@resolveittogether.com
http://daterightnow.blogspot.com/
316-409-4431

WHERE THE H*** DO I MEET MR. RIGHT OR MS. RIGHT?

2010-09-27T15:00:00.000-07:00

I recently conducted a survey inquiring about where happy couples originally met.

Following are the results from 49 people who responded to the question “where did you two meet?”:

• At work = 8

• Family or friend introduced them = 7
• OTHER INTERESTS = 7 total:
Single parent organization (1)
Comic book store (1)
Rodeo (1)
Traveling (1)
Annual local town festival (1)
Jogging in a park (1)
Skydiving (1)

MISC = 7 total:
Funeral (1)
Bachelor auction (2)
Party (2)
Knocked on the door of the other’s home (2)

• On-line (5) and Newspaper ad (1) = 6 total

• Bar/Club = 5

• Church (4) and Singles church group (1) = 5 total

• School = 4
The first thing this study tells me is that your chances of meeting someone while sitting at home watching TV are highly unlikely. However, you can take that chance if you wish, as we do have two lucky couples who met that way. One man needed access into the women's backyard for some work they were starting. Another man was calling on a neighbor just to see how she was doing.

The next thing this poll clearly indicates is that there is NOT one, sure-fire way to meet that special someone of your dreams, but that you DO have so many options you should be excited!

Another glaring revelation is that the top ways people meet are at work, through a friend or family member introducing you, or out doing something you enjoy.

You probably also noticed that on-line dating is right up there with the rest as far as being a popular and successful method for people to meet. In fact, Match.com has a new commercial that says 1 in 5 of all couples are now meeting on-line.

An interesting thing I noted is that “at church” and “at a bar” tied.

Also important to know is that no matter where you are, at home, at work, or at play, you need to bring your top game and always look your best. These results clearly indicate it could be ANYWHERE at ANYTIME!

The final confirmation I gleaned from the answers to this survey, is that for those who are struggling with finding the person they are meant to be with there must be something blocking them, such as limiting beliefs, fears and doubts, since others clearly are able to meet “the one”!

For an action step to move you forward and closer to meeting that special person for you, I would invite you to respond to this blog by telling me your first reaction and any other revelations you received upon reading it. Also, tell me something you are going to do different in the dating arena now that you are equipped with this knowledge.

Until next time…..

Happy Dating,

Ronda Welsh, Your Dating Strategist
Helping singles remove the doubt from dating.
www.resolveittogether.com
ronda@resolveittogether.com
316-409-4431

“Finding the Right One” v. “Being the Right One”

2010-08-28T05:38:00.000-07:00

I invite you to ask yourself: Am I a whole and satisfied person who would add positively to a relationship and compliment the other person? What do I bring to the table in relationships? What do I have to offer in a relationship? Do I bring baggage or assets? I encourage you to not only think about these questions, but to journal everything that comes to mind. If you desire to be in a healthy, happy relationship with a significant other, this will be the beginning step towards that result.

I often explain in presentations I do for singles groups the following: “I use to bring to each relationship what I call my “U-Haul truck” of baggage. Now, having eliminated that load of things from my past, I bring more of my terrific qualities to each relationship. The other person is blessed, not cursed, because I am a good listener, have a positive attitude, and so on.”

Is your baggage stinking up your relationships?

Let’s say you meet Mr. or Ms. Perfect Forever and they really have their stuff together. You see that they have a ton to bring to the table as far as positive, life enriching attributes. Your life will be changed immensely for the better, because they only bring assets to add to your life and not liabilities to drag you down. This Mr. or Ms. Wonderful has really worked on being the right person; a whole, complete and satisfied person. He or she is ready for a long term, healthy relationship. Let’s say you two start dating and things seem to be going pretty well, but as the days, weeks and months go by, your baggage starts showing up and creating disagreements and problems between the two of you. You, or actually probably the other person, discover that you are the one who has the liabilities that start bringing the other person down. What do you think will happen? They will likely run for the hills.

On the other hand, let’s say you meet Mr. or Ms. Perfect Forever and you have defined who you are. You have improved, grown and cleared out useless stuff. You have improved the areas you want to better in. You are a more whole, complete and satisfied person. That other someone will be absolutely lucky and blessed to have you in their life. Now when you start dating this special someone, things seem to be going pretty well, and as the days, weeks and months go by, you two grow closer and fonder of each other. The relationship progresses in a healthy, happy manner. What do you think will happen? You could be together forever!

Out of the two above scenarios, which is the ideal situation you wish to happen to you? If your choice is to the second one, here are some action steps that will help you move forward in that direction:

I encourage you to make the following two lists:

One - list all the fabulous, amazing, and terrific qualities and characteristics you have. If you have trouble with this ask your family and friends to tell you the great things they see in you. You should have at least 50 things on this list.

Two - list the top five areas in your life you would like to improve. Do you want to lose weight, become financially stable, be more patient and tolerant, or have a better relationship with your children or parents? Again, if you need assistance those closest to you will be able to identify things you may not. This list should only have, at the most, five things to begin with. As you improve in those areas and cross off the things you change then and only then can you add more to this list.

Further action on each list that would be useful to take:

For list one – keep adding to it as you discover additional things you love about yourself. These are things that would positively impact another person’s life because you are that way.

For list two – for each item you would like to improve on, research and determine one step you could take towards that change. Take one area a month and do at least that first step if not more.

Until next time…..

Happy Dating,

Ronda Welsh, Your Dating Strategist
Helping singles remove the doubt from dating!

www.resolveittogether.com
ronda@resolveittogether.com
316-409-4431

P.S. I am in no way inferring that you have to be perfect or that you can expect the other person to be perfect, since we all know there is no such thing as a perfect person. What I am saying is there is always room for improvement and your odds of being successful in a relationship are counting on you to seek out that improvement.

Get the Girl Tonight...

2010-08-24T07:06:00.000-07:00

Gentlemen,

We’ve all been stopped short when it comes to getting a date with an attractive woman.

If you’ve ever seen a girl on the street and you’ve thought, “Man I’d really like to talk to her,” or at a restaurant or at a club or something like that but yet you didn’t follow through, you didn’t go up and ask her out, you didn’t go up and get a phone number from her…

If you’ve ever found yourself stopped short when it comes to dating the attractive woman that you would like to date I would like to help you out. And, if you’ve ever had the courage to go up and ask out an attractive woman and it just didn’t work out I’d like to help you as well.

See, when it comes to dating women there is a right way and a wrong way to go about having the kind of success that you’re looking for and I’d like to personally help you become the kind of man that can naturally and easily approach extremely attractive woman, carry on fun conversations with them, easily get their phone numbers, feel very comfortable asking them out on dates and ultimately having the kind of relationship with women that you really want.

In order to help you out I’ve decided to have a personal one-on-one session with as many of my readers and subscribers that I can over the next couple of weeks.

I probably won’t be able to work with everybody but the sooner you request this session the more likely you are to be able to get on my schedule. This coaching session is called the "Confidence with Women Coaching Session".

During the "Confidence with Women Coaching Session" we will work together to…

=> Create a crystal clear vision for the kind of woman that you’d like to have in your life and the kind of relationship you’d like to have with her.

=> We’ll uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your success with woman and dating.

=> You’ll leave the session renewed, reenergized and inspired to take consistent action in your dating and love life so that you can finally have the success with woman that you’ve always wanted.

To get your "Confidence with Women Coaching Session" today, simply click reply to this email and answer the following questions:

1. How long have you been single?

2. On a scale of zero to 10 how important is it for you to get this area of your life called relationship handled once and for all?

3. What do you see as your biggest challenges with women and dating?

4. What was your greatest relationship success to date?

Email your answers now to ronda@resolveittogether.com and be sure to include your name and phone number so that someone from our office can give you a call and get you scheduled for this special 30 minute "Confidence with Women Coaching Session" today.

Until next time...

Happy Dating,

Ronda Welsh, Your Dating Strategist
Helping singles remove the doubt from dating!

www.resolveittogether.com
ronda@resolveittogether.com
316-409-4431

PS: The sooner you send us your answers, the more likely you are to get a session. Email us now: ronda@resolveittogether.com

Find Mr. Right Today...

2010-08-24T06:55:00.000-07:00

Ladies,

If you’d like to find Mr. Right today and you’d like to have that experience of your Prince Charming, whatever that may be for you -- tall dark and handsome, powerful, attractive, sexy, whatever kind of man you would really love in your heart of hearts to have in your life and to be able to enjoy the kind of relationship that you’re looking for where you go out to movies and go on vacations together and go out to dinner with your couple friends and all those great couple experiences…

Maybe you’ll even want to get married and have a family...

It all starts with finding the right guy, finding your Mr. Right and I’d like to help you do that.

For a limited time I am offering a special "Find Mr. Right Coaching Session" for ZERO COST. During this special 1-on-1 coaching session we’ll work together to…

=> Create a crystal clear vision for the kind of man that you’d like to attract and the kind of relationship that you’d like to have

=> We’ll uncover hidden challenges that may be sabotaging your success with men and dating

=> You’ll leave the session renewed, reenergized and inspired to find and keep a treat man once and for all

To claim your special "Find Mr. Right Coaching Session" today, simply email your answers to these questions to ronda@resolveittogether.com:

1. How long have you been single?

2. On a scale of zero to 10 how important is it for you to get in to a relationship
now?

3. What do you see as your biggest relationship challenges?

4. What would you most like help with when it comes to men and dating?

Be sure to include your name, phone number and email address so someone from our office can get back to you within the next 24 to 48 hours to schedule your one-on-one "Find Mr. Right Coaching Session."

Email your reply now to claim your session today: ronda@resolveittogether.com

Until next time...

Happy Dating,

Ronda Welsh, Your Dating Strategist
Helping singles remove the doubt from dating!

www.resolveittogether.com
ronda@resolveittogether.com
316-409-4431

P.S. I can’t wait to hear how great things are for you
once you’ve got that great man in your life!

Zip My Zipper and Tie My Tie

2010-08-23T09:05:00.001-07:00

In addition to having someone to zip you zipper ladies or tie your tie gentlemen, here are some other top reasons your life could be better with someone special or even a spouse to share it with:

To have....
1. an anchor in the storms of life.

2. companionship through the daily routine of life.

3. a safety net to catch you when you fall.

4. a confidant = someone to tell all the things to that you couldn't, shouldn't or wouldn't tell others.

5. someone to share all levels of intimacy with.

6. someone to pray for or who can pray for you when you cannot.

7. someone to share major life decisions with.

8. someone who shares your day-to-day responsibilities of life.

9. someone to mirror your growth and growth opportunities to you.

10. someone to balance you out, in other words who compliments your strengths and weaknesses.

11. financial support.

12. emotional support.

13. mental support.

14. someone to care for you when you are sick or someone you can care for when they are sick.

15. a history and memories you create together.

16. someone to grow old with.

17. someone beside you so you do not have to die alone.

18. someone to miss and someone who will miss you.

19. someone you can laugh with.

20. someone to share common interests with.

21. someone to help you reach your goals and to share common goals with.

22. someone to cry with.

23. someone to comfort you and someone you can comfort.

24. someone who will be concerned about you.

25. someone to share inside jokes with.

26. someone to cherish and someone who cherishes you.

27. someone to appreciate and who appreciates you.

28. someone that knows you better than anyone else.

29. someone to Love

30. someone who Loves you.

I challenge you to post one or two things that you consider to be pros, positives or blessings to being in a relationship or being married.

Your Dating Strategist,

Ronda Welsh

Removing your Doubt from Dating

P.S. There are also many things like someone to take you to the airport, someone to lift heavy things for you, someone to cook for you, etc.

Not Bathing for Three Days

2010-08-13T13:29:00.000-07:00

In order to be ready for a healthy relationship and/or marriage, one of the first steps is being fully satisfied right where you are with your singleness.

The following is a list of 30 positives to being single:

1. Not having to worry about offending someone if you do not bathe for three days.
2. Having possession and full use of the remote control.
3. Not having to ask or discuss purchases with anyone.
4. Having the entire bed to yourself.
5. Getting to set your own bed time and rising time.
6. Having control of the temperature in your home and/or car.
7. Not upsetting anyone if you fall asleep reading, with the TV on or with a light on.
8. Having total freedom to come and goes as you please.
9. Toilet lid up or down...whichever you prefer.....ALWAYS!
10. Not having anyone but yourself to pick up after.
11. Your money is your money.
12. Leaving dirty clothes on the floor or dirty dishes in the sink for as long as you wish.
13. Not having to shave your legs (women) or face (men).
14. Getting to hang out with friends and family as much or as little as you want.
15. Getting to crash where ever you want, on the sofa, at a friends, etc.
16. Not having to worry if you work too much or get home too late.
17. Getting to give as much as you want.
18. Not having to consider another person's feelings.
19. Getting to use the last of something without anyone complaining.
20. Taking risks without another person's fears and opinions being projected on you.
21. Getting to spoil your children and grandchildren, etc.
22. Being able to celebrate and decorate for holidays or NOT.
23. Your quiet time, prayer time, and/or meditation time is truly yours.
24. Being able to keep your house and/or car as clean or dirty as you want.
25. The toilet paper roll is always turned the way you like it.
26. No one feels abandoned if you are addicted to golf or fishing or something else.
27. You can cook or eat out as little or as much as you want.
28. Not being affected by anther person's mood.
29. Tax advantages are available to you.
30. Digging into the butter as you please, leaving it smooth or pitted!

I challenge you to post one or two additional things that you consider to be pros, positives or blessings about being single.

Coming soon, a blog of positives about being in a relationship or married.

Out Of Whack In The Key Areas = No Soul Mate

2010-06-05T13:05:00.000-07:00

Could being well-balanced in all areas of your life be a key to finding the loving relationship you desire?

Ask yourself: Is my life upside-down and out of balance? How is that affecting my current relationships or my pursuit of being in the loving relationship of my dreams? What would it look like if I had balance spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally, and socially? What would I give to have balance in my life? Do not just think about these questions, journal everything that comes to mind. This will be the beginning step towards your desired results.

Children who do not experience a balance in these five key areas are the ones who have the most struggles in life. If this is true for children, it is likely very true for adults as well.

BRIEF EXPLANATION OF EACH AREA:

Spiritually - This could be your involvement and attendance at church - certainly a way to develop and nurture your spiritual life. Your relationship with God or a higher power may be a big part of your spirituality. Daily, prayer, mediation, readings, and experiences with nature are ingredients to being spiritually sound. This is whatever brings you peace, serenity, joy, fulfillment and love.

Emotionally - This could be as intense as attending therapy or support groups, depending on your level of need. Learning how to set boundaries could bring emotional stability. Another example could be learning how to share and express your feelings and needs. Developing relationships with people who accept you for who you are, support you, and are there for you through the good times and the tears, is another way to fill this area. And finally, your relationship with yourself is part of being okay emotionally.

Physically - This is for sure, exercise, sleep, healthy eating, doctor and dental care, taking vitamins, quitting unhealthy habits, etc. This can also include haircuts, color, manicures, pedicures, massages, etc. Taking care of health and beauty on a regular basis is what this leg of balance means.

Mentally - This can be reading, researching, and maybe taking classes. Basically, this includes any new learning experiences that challenges you, brings you a sense of accomplishment, and makes you want to know more about everything you already know.

Socially - This is entertaining relationships with others - hanging out with family and friends, doing fun things, developing new friendships or cultivating old ones.

If you do not strive for balance in these areas you may experience stress and nonfulfillment. More importantly you will attract other out of whack people to date or marry. Most importantly you will not be appealing to the right singles.

Take some time to consider how you would answer the following Action Step questions:

A. Rate each area with a percentage of how much time and energy you think you spend on each one of the key areas weekly, with 100% being the total of all five:

Spiritual % ___________________

Emotional % __________________

Physical % ___________________

Social % _____________________

Mental % ____________________

B. For any area that you score seems low, list two things that you can start doing today to bring that percentage in balance with the other areas, i.e. if Physical is lacking in relation to the other areas, you could list an exercise you could do each day and a vitamin supplement you could start taking:

Spiritual
1. ____________________
2. ____________________

Emotional
1. ____________________
2. ____________________

Physical
1. ____________________
2. ____________________

Social
1. ____________________
2. ____________________

Mental
1. ____________________
2. ____________________

The key to filling this is out is to start small and with things that you can realistic accomplish.

Post comments if you want to be held accountable for taking some of the things you list.

Even The Single Mannequins In Wichita Are Desperate!

2010-05-22T15:13:00.000-07:00

“I do not know where to meet quality, available singles.” “I am not into the bar scene anymore or at least I do not think that is a good place to meet a mate, so where else is there?” “It seems so hard to meet singles.” “All the good ones are either taken or live too far away.” I hear those types of statements and grumblings from my single friends and clients a lot!

This mannequin is taking dating into her own hands!

Let’s review what steps she is taking to get some attention and maybe a date and see what we can learn from her:

1.She has positioned herself in a window that gets a lot of visibility….location, location, location!
2.She posed in an alluring manner and made her facial expression sultry. Bring it girl!
3.She chose the attention getter color, red. Go get ‘em sweetheart!
4.She then decide to really put it all out there by showing a little skin, but did not show it all…leaving a little to the imagination!

Do we humans living in Wichita also need to take such drastic measures to find that special someone?

One article on the net tagged Wichita, Kansas as the 2nd worst city in the nation for dating. http://www.bestplaces.net/docs/studies/DatingCities.aspx

I do not believe we have to take action as bold as this mannequin, but I do agree we have to take action. In fact, I recently heard the following quote which confirms my belief: “Expectation that's not followed by action is not expectation... it's just hoping; and hoping has never achieved very much.” Mike Dooley

I also do not believe we are the 2nd worst city for dating. In fact, I have clients all over the world and I hear the same exact frustrations from them about not knowing where or how to meet singles. I bet you know at least one person who met their spouse in Wichita and are happily married.

I do believe there are a number of other things holding each single person back from finding the relationship of their dreams.

For some it may be they do not know what the ideal person or ideal relationship is that they desire. I mean knowing without a doubt, 100% sure, no question! Or it could be that they do not know themselves, or not knowing the opposite sex….I mean really, really knowing!

For others it could be limiting beliefs created over a lifetime, most unknown to the person. These must be brought to the surface and busted through!

So, you ask, what the heck do I do? This is a question many of my single friends and clients ask me! Here are some general suggestions I can give you without coaching you and understanding you exact situation:

• Give away what you want. Set up other singles you know.
• Start doing whatever you can to be a whole, happy, satisfied single….then and only then will you be ready to meet someone.
• Pick one specific thing you love to do and join a group or club that does that very thing and make it your New Year’s resolution to be very involved and committed to it this year.
• On Valentines, buy yourself a gift, treat yourself to dinner, or write yourself a love note. Love yourself! (I quit smoking five years ago on Valentine’s Day to show myself how much I love me.)
• Email me if you want a sheet that shows you the steps to designing a dating strategy unique to you.
• Simply ask someone out!

If you do not like my suggestions, then by all means, do not do any of them. Keep on doing what you are doing now and keep on getting what you are getting now!

OR

Change your future forever! Pick one thing off of the above list and start it in now! Be courageous and brave and take that step to do something new that will bring you new results! Take what we will now call “mannequin risks”!

How important is it to you that you meet that someone special? What are you willing to do to make it happen?

I know you can do it!

Your Dating Strategist,

Ronda Welsh
316-409-4431
ronda@resolveittogether.com

P.S. The first person who emails me back and correctly identifies the store in Wichita, Kansas where the photo was taken, will receive two complimentary coaching telephone sessions regarding dating or relationships.

Where Do I Meet Quality, Available, Attractive Singles?

2010-05-15T08:22:00.000-07:00

To all the singles out there who are always asking "Where do I find quality, available, and attractive singles?"; here is a blog that will begin your journey of discovering answers to that very conundrum. Subscribe and get fresh ideas and solid, time proven ideas on dating and attracting the right one for you.

Let's start with some insight on why it might be hard for you to know where and how to meet terrific singles.

Oh wait, one tidbit of information you must know first before going any further.....it does not matter where you live. Singles all over the country, all over the world actually, come to me with the same exact quandary. I repeat....it does not matter where you live!

Okay, now let's explore what could be in your way of meeting top notch single men and women:

If you believe that all the good ones are taken or that all men are jerks or that all women are drama queens then that is exactly what will keep showing up in your life. Test me on this! Actually do not test me on that part. Test me on the part of trying to replace those thoughts, comments and beliefs with ones that will get you the results you are desiring. This can be as hard or as easy as you make it. You likely have beliefs blocking which you do not even know are there. Trust me and I will help you start busting through the ones that are not serving you!

Here is a big belief that may be blocking women: "all men just want to do is have sex."
Here is a big belief that may be blocking men: "all women are gold diggers."

Those and many others can be tough to destroy and replace, so let's start simple. For the next two days whenever any negative thought comes into your mind about dating or men or women, I want you to stop, cancel it out and replace it with:

"I am now meeting amazing single women/men (whichever you are looking for) everywhere I turn."

Do not just think it, say it out loud, write it down and carry it with you if you have to. Whether you believe it or not yet, just keep thinking and saying it. Start noticing what happens. Pay attention and take mental notes. Just by committing to try this there will already be a shift in your results.

My blog will not just be about giving you my opinion, my blog will be about giving you information and then actions steps to move you forward in the dating world. I can write all the best dating advice in the world, but if you do not practice it, it will not help you. If you are really serious about dating right now, take the action steps I offer up and then comment on the results you get.

Get to dating right now!