Being A Happy Woman

"Making A Sparkly Necklace" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble

2012-01-02T14:17:00.000-08:00

"Making A Sparkly Necklace" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble:

I love sparkly things, so I created this card with a photograph of a shimmery necklace I made awhile back.

"Rush Hour Sunset" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble

2012-01-02T09:13:00.000-08:00

"Rush Hour Sunset" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble:

The rush hour sunset that I captured with my cell phone camera as I was walking one day in late October.

"Sunset In The San Bernardino Mountains-3" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble

2012-01-01T23:44:00.000-08:00

"Sunset In The San Bernardino Mountains-3" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble:

The beauty of the post card that I created with a sunset captured up in the San Bernardino Mountains.

All The Things You Can Do Besides Dating

2011-12-12T10:41:00.000-08:00

There is always this pressure for people to date after a break-up or divorce. People are told to get out there, and to be seen in the crowd doing something. What if you find this advice boring, and economically unwise? Sure, we all like to go out and do things, but before the economy went bad, I think many of us realize how much money we used to spend treating ourselves to going out a bit too much. I, for one, regret eating out as much as I did in my twenties, and buying as many Starbucks coffees as I did. I am able to do all those things myself, and I believe if you are going to meet someone, you can meet them without being some highly social creature.

However, I also realize that I enjoy many things such as being home, working on my writing, and starting a new art project. By the age of 29 I had reclaimed much of who I had been before my early twenties, back in the days when I was pretty much just happy with my own company. I regret having listened to women who told me I was missing out on something by not being in a relationship. The best advice you can ever have is never to listen to people who claim you are missing out on something just because you are not dating, or not in a relationship. Not everyone needs to be to find stimulating and mesmerizing activities in life. Many people in relationships hardly connect with their significant others on a daily basis, and are really only in a relationship status in name only. I dated many people hoping to find someone I had a connection with, and all I did is meet a lot of people I had nothing in common with.

Today I walk quite a bit, and always have some creepy guy stopping to ask me if I want a ride. I really just am not interested in taking a ride from strangers, and some men have accused me of not being friendly enough when they approach me on the street. Sorry, but if I am out walking I am doing so because I enjoy it, and not with the hopes some guy will come along and rescue me from having to walk three miles. Sometimes I think in our car heavy Southern California culture being a pedestrian puts people into culture shock, even though with this economy more people seem to be walking or taking the bus than ever before.

There was one person recently that I liked a bit, but if he could not figure out that I like him, then I arrived at the assumption a month ago he is just not interested. I am not the type of woman who puts myself out there, and I do not feel I am missing anything. Years ago I put myself out there, and it turned a couple of people I did this with did not reciprocate my feelings. Am I playing a bit hard to get? So what! If someone really likes me, I think they can do a little bit of work to inform me. Since no one except for the shady guys who stop to ask me for my phone number seems to feel that way, I am going to assume no one does. Am I going to sit around sad, feeling sorry for myself? No, I do not have time for that. There is a book to work on and writing to do, and dating is the furthest thing from my mind most days.

I enjoy reconnecting with my artsy and creative side, and knowing I can have fun without spending money out on awkward and boring blind dates. At home I can create amazing Chinese stir fries for under five dollars. I made a giant pan of food for less than most people spend on a small take-out portion.

Looking For Cute Christmas Cards

2011-12-02T22:00:00.001-08:00

If you are looking for cute Christmas cards on Amazon, this set is very adorable.

"But I Love Him," She Says About The Man Who Just Really Could Care Less

2011-11-13T09:01:00.001-08:00

Today I got a comment on my hub from a woman who says she loves a man who is constantly checking out other women. I wanted to tell her no through the computer, and to run away from this dud. In my early twenties I remember I once thought I loved this guy who always looked around and talked incessantly about blond women in the room, and it is obvious he did not care about me at all. After much thought and revelation, I realized I have never truly loved any men. I dated a few, and none of them were really worth my time of day looking back. Many educated and independent women say they love a man who does not really treat them all that well, but do men usually justify "loving" a woman who uses them? A few might, but overall it is women more than men who make comments like these.

Reading the book He's Just Not That Into You changed my thinking on a lot of these issues. Sorry, but I will only ever love a man who has respect and adoration for me, and I have yet to find one. I do not feel sad that I am single, and I would rather be than pretending some luke warm relationship was making me happy. Many women are so afraid to be alone, to be single, to be labeled an old maid. However, I just happened to have realize I have way too much self-worth to wait around for some guy who "wants his cake and to eat it too" mindset. Some men will settle for a woman who does not have enough self-esteem to call him out on his wandering eye, flirting, or worse, his cheating ways. There are a few women who actually put up with men who do all these things because they think being in a relationship is more important than being alone.

Why are people so scared of the word single? I see numerous married women with kids who run errands on there own, so being married does not necessarily mean you are going to have a partner willing to help you will shopping, cooking, cleaning, housework, and the kids school projects. I see men who actually take their kids shopping, so if you husband says he cannot, I would point out he is perfectly capable of doing so. Seriously, holding out for someone who would rather spend time with you and have an engaging conversation about a book is so much more rewarding than putting up with a guy who is a middle aged, but still thinks he can "cruise the ladies" at the local bar.

"Mirrors of the Self-Portrait" by selfportraitme | RedBubble

2011-10-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

"Mirrors of the Self-Portrait" by selfportraitme | RedBubble:

Mirrors make for interesting self-portrait photographs.

"Hawaiian Sunset Drawing" by Bearie23 | RedBubble

2011-10-25T13:09:00.000-07:00

"Hawaiian Sunset Drawing" by Bearie23 | RedBubble:

This is a Hawaiian sunset sketch that I created back in 2008. You can see more of my artwork and photography on my brand new website: Sweetbearies Art Tips.

"Sunset In The San Bernardino Mountains-1" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble

2011-10-04T18:27:00.000-07:00

"Sunset In The San Bernardino Mountains-1" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble:

Another card I created featuring the beauty of the San Bernardino Mountains at sunset.

"Self-Portrait" by Bearie23 | RedBubble

2011-10-04T17:50:00.000-07:00

"Self-Portrait" by Bearie23 | RedBubble:

Self-portrait using photo editing software.

"Snow In December" Framed Prints by Bearie23 | RedBubble

2011-10-04T16:58:00.000-07:00

"Snow In December" Framed Prints by Bearie23 | RedBubble:

Here is a snow coulter pine framed print that I designed with one of my photographs.

"The Tree Branches And The View of Mount Baldy " Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble

2011-09-20T06:41:00.000-07:00

Here is a card I created with a picture I took up in the San Bernardino Mountains.

"The Tree Branches And The View of Mount Baldy " Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble:

Stop Getting Mad At Netflix For Their Product Changes

2011-09-19T18:48:00.000-07:00

Honestly, there is no purpose in getting mad at Netflix because of their product changes. The technology is transitioning to streaming movies online, and if you do not like this change, there are alternatives for keeping yourself entertained.

1. Check Movies Out At The Library:

Many libraries check movies out for free, or charge a small sum per movie rental. This might not be a good alternative if you are watching lots of movies each month, but it is good if you only watch a few.

2. Purchase Movies At The Second Hand Store:

Over the years many people have got rid of their movie collections as they upgraded the the latest technology. About ten years ago people were getting rid of their VHS tapes as they upgraded to DVD's, and now many people are getting rid of their DVD's as they upgrade the blue rays and digital format storage systems. The reality is we always promote recycling, and there is usually nothing wrong with the quality of those old DVD's and VHS tapes people have donated to their local Salvation Army or Good Will. You can save a little bit of money and donate to a charitable cause by purchasing your movies at the second hand store.

3. Purchase Movies At The Pawn Shop:

In this economy people often sell their movies to the local pawn shop to make a bit of extra money. Pawn shops usually turn around and sell older movies for reasonable prices, which is usually cheaper than what you would pay for shipping to buy a second hand movie on eBay or Amazon.

4. Read a Book:

Sometimes my head spins when I hear people describe all the shows they watch on a weekly basis. In 2010 I dropped cable service to save money, and whereas I miss a few channels like HBO, I do not miss TV in general. Reading books or online news articles and blogs is more stimulating than watching a TV show where I am being told what to think. Most people have a few unread books lying around their house, so rather than complaining about how Netflix has ruined your entertainment because they changed their services, why not read a book or a blog instead. It is no one's fault but your own if you allow a company changing their services to get you that bent out of shape. By the way, I am not affiliated with Netflix, but I have enjoyed subscribing to the services in the past.

"Pyrography Palm Frond" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble

2011-09-19T18:03:00.000-07:00

"Pyrography Palm Frond" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble:

I created this card with a picture I took of my pyrography work.

You Have To Be Head Over Heels About Me To Get My Time of Day

2011-09-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

First off, let me just preface this by saying I am not obsessed about dating, and I do not purposely go out on dates hoping I will meet someone. When I was younger I used to believe if I dated and kept an open mind, then eventually, I would meet someone I could start a relationship with. Honestly, even though I dated people, at this time in my life I really do not consider any of those relationships to be real ones.

In my first relationship I noticed from the start I really did not have much in common with the man my friend had set me up with. He was cute, but all he ever talked about was gaming. I noticed after awhile to keep the conversation flowing I would ask him about his gaming adventures, but he rarely ever tried to delve into topics that interest me. He invited me to come visit him, it was a long-distance relationship after the first date, but I think he only was interested in me at the time because he thought I was cute.

Even when it came to whether he thought I was cute, he never expressed a profuse amount of interest in me. Right before I went to fly out and see him, he was not even calling me regularly. The night before I was supposed to fly out he had not even confirmed with me over the phone when he was picking me up at the air port, etc. This was very upsetting to me because whenever I had went to see family and friends, they always would always solidify that information with me. He was the one who had originally wanted me to fly out and see him, but some how, I knew deep down he probably did not care as much anymore because I had questioned why he had stop calling and emailing so much during the weeks leading up to my visit.

We had so little in common, and I was wondering why I was even going out there. In my naivety I believed this was the last chance I had for someone to like me, and I was going to make it work no matter what. It was so ridiculous and silly, and even though I had a good time visiting with him that week, after I went back home; things went back to usual. He would email and call me the first week when I was back, but I made the mistake of telling him I wanted more of a relationship. After that he virtually did not call me at all, and an entire month went by where I did not hear from him. I called him one day to ask why, and he told me he was busy. So here I was acting all hurt over someone I really did not have anything in common with, and who had never really expressed that much interest in me to begin with. This weird holding pattern went on for a few more months, until he broke up with me over the phone. We did have a few more dates when he moved back to my state, but these were not romantic to say the least.

After that first waste of time "relationship", I dated a few more people, but none of those relationships were what I would call real either. Each one revolved around the conveniences and schedule of the guy I was dating. None of them ever acted head over heels about me, and I get the feeling each and every one was only luke-warmly attracted to me at the start.

One thing I always find amusing is when a guy acts interested in me because he thinks I am some what attractive, and talks about how he wants to get to know me. At first a guy superficially smitten with me acts like he wants to get to know me, but that all fades away after I talk to him for a bit. I kid you not, once there was a guy who lived in my complex who was acting like he had a severe crush on me. I would be taking out my trash, and he would go way out of his way to help me. I got the impression he thought I was cute, or something, but that all faded away very suddenly one day. I think he heard me having a discussion on the phone with my friend about how I tend to have liberal views in politics, and all of sudden, no more interest! One day I walked by him, and he just sort of stared at me. I was not going to even say hello if he did not first. Perhaps that sounds stubborn, but when some men go from acting profusely interested to me, to all cold, I sort of back off.

I am always a bit leary of men who act really superficially interested in me at first. However, I have arrived at the conclusion that those men are only interested in what I look like, and they have some rigid conceptualization about how I would speak or behave.

In closing, I will say I have never had a man truly head over heels with me from the get go. What I mean by this is someone who is interested in conversation with me, and who also thinks I am attractive as well. I shall never date again until I find that magic combination, and I think it might not exist in my world. I like being single and prefer it over a myriad of bad dates going nowhere. I never had a real relationship where a guy called me up and we went to the ocean to watch the waves, or he just wanted to get together so we could make dinner and watch TV. Sorry, but I am not interested in pretend relationships, and find so much beauty and happiness in being single. I doubt there is a man out there who is addicted to my conversation, and actually attracted to me, and if he is, he sure has a weird way of making himself known to me.

"The Mountains" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble

2011-09-01T22:50:00.000-07:00

"The Mountains" Greeting Cards & Postcards by Bearie23 | RedBubble:

Here is a card I designed with a picture from the San Bernardino Mountains.

"Rocks On The Forest Trail" by Bearie23 | RedBubble

2011-08-31T22:59:00.000-07:00

"Rocks On The Forest Trail" by Bearie23 | RedBubble:

Here is a picture I took of small rocks on a forest trail up in the San Bernardino Mountains.

Do Not Buy Into The Soul-Mate Mythology

2011-07-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

Groups of women can be very judging and toxic to unattached women, or even unattached men. If you are not married, or just dating, people who are married can be a little disdainful, even if that is not their intent. For instance, if a woman is posting about her marriage, she might not realize some of her comments might be a little disparaging of her single friends. It is wonderful if you are getting married and happy, but sometimes people say things about how they are the luckiest and happiest woman in the world because she found this amazing guy, but then might tell a friend dating a certain guy that if she had better "judgment," well she would be walking down the aisle, too.

This is part of the reason I never understood the allure of big weddings anyway. If you grew up in a church and having a church ceremony is important to you, I suppose that would be an exciting moment. Even a church ceremony can be small though, and it is all about how you plan it. However, if you just love someone and want to get married, it might just be better to have a private and small ceremony anyway. Is there a point to wasting thousands of dollars on just one day in your life? Why do days have to be quantified, and only the wedding day the happiest day?

There is still a lot of intolerance towards unmarried people being told they have to date, and have to get out there. Books tell single people what is wrong with them, and how they could be married if they changed this or that. Honestly, I find such books, and comments to just be condescending. People who are married are not any different, better, or more self-aware than single people, and often they just happened to meet the "one" when he or she was ready to get married. If married people were actually more self-aware than single people, then there would be fewer divorces, and much less marriage counseling.

What you need to remember is the marriage and dating industry are businesses where people make money, and they want to promote that you will be more fulfilled once you meet that hot guy on the blind date, or don that wedding veil down the aisle. Or even a mainstream dating site that will tell a guy how he will win women over with "secret tips". It is better to view such advice not as end alls and be alls to happiness and fulfillment. It is possible to be 100% happy, and to not believe in soul mates. There are many people you could possibly date or marry, but these individuals will not always fall into the soul-mate descriptions. I believe you can date and get married without the large wedding day, and actually be more fulfilled than someone who spent $100,000 dollars on it. If you really love someone, you do not need to make that big of a declaration anyway, and the private moments will count far more. Be happy in the now and every day, and stop dreaming of that day when you think you might be happy. Listen to the birds outside, and witness the beauty of the cerulean sky. Why do we always need something, what about the beauty of the world we live in?

Tomato Plants In Late June

2011-06-30T07:54:00.001-07:00

In late June the tomato plants are growing quite tall in their planters. In the early morning sunlight streams down on their foliage, creating many beautiful shadows.

Tomato Plants In The Sunlight by ~Bearie23 on deviant ART

Creating A Snowman

2011-04-25T12:15:00.001-07:00

It is always a fun and happy memory to think of all the snowmen you have created. You can even make a snow cat or dog!

Snowman-4 by ~Bearie23 on deviant ART

Tree With The San Bernardino Mountains In The Background

2011-04-22T22:35:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture I took with a tree, and the San Bernardino Mountains in the background.

Picture of A Tree by ~Bearie23 on deviant ART

Another Picture of A Tree

2011-04-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of another tree I took back in November 2011.

Gazing At The Trees-2 by ~Bearie23 on deviant ART

The Picture of A Tree

2011-04-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of a tree I took back in November of 2010.

Gazing At A Tree by ~Bearie23 on deviant ART

The Giraffe Shirt For Men

2011-04-14T21:36:00.000-07:00

I designed a giraffe shirt for men based on a sketch I made back in late January.

The Manly Giraffe Shirt by Bearie23
Create customized tee shirts using zazzle

RedGage Makes Me Happy

2011-04-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

RedGage makes me happy because it allows me to share my blog with a larger audience. I especially enjoy being able to share pictures I take of Southern California over on that site. Here is a picture I took of Southern California, which is similar to the ones I share on RedGage.

Picture I took out at the Pinnacles in April of 2010.

Picture I took out at the Pinnacles on January 1, 1988. It used to be a New Year's Tradition to hike to the top of the Pinnacles in the San Bernardino Mountains

Picture I took of Grass Valley Lake in November of 2007