The best weapons a woman can use in her flirting arsenal include a smile, a touch, a laugh, saying his name, hugging him, and she can even make certain comments that are designed to let him know you’re interested.

These concepts are probably nothing new to you. After all, everyone knows to smile and laugh, and touch the other person in order to flirt, right? Not necessarily. There are many people who have no idea how to flirt, and even more are completely unaware of how to tell whether or not your flirting is reciprocated. Or, in other words, they’re unaware of whether or not the other person is flirting back with them.

For this reason, we’ll create an imaginary couple that go by the names Janet and Steve. Janet and Steve are classmates in a college course and they’re sitting outside between classes because their first class let out early. Janet likes Steve but she’s not sure if Steve likes her. So, Janet decides to flirt with him.

The first thing she should do is walk over and introduce herself. She does and they shake hands. She asks about the class and smiles as she does so. He says something and she laughs and touches his arm. Then she leans in and says they should study together sometime.

Steve is very nervous and laughs only a few times. When she touched him, he didn’t touch her back. Janet begins to think that Steve just isn’t interested. The truth is, however, that Steve is completely interested and wants desperately to ask Janet out but he’s not sure how.

This part is very frustrating for women. Janet has done everything she can to let him know that she likes him, and he hasn’t given her one signal back. This makes her feel as though she’s wasting her time and she goes to leave.

But Janet shouldn’t leave. Instead, she should touch him even more when she talks, she should lean into him and laugh and she should ask him questions that will let her know if he likes her or not. These include asking him if he has a girlfriend, if he’s dating anyone, or even if he likes someone. This may seem terrifying to ask a man, but if you word it the right way it will come out as a natural means of getting to know someone better.

The bottom line is that Janet needs to use her smiles, her laughs, her touches and her words as a way of letting Steve know she’s interested in him, while at the same time making him wonder whether or not she’s just being nice. In other words, she should never just throw herself at him. She should wait for him to ask her out.

If Steve doesn’t ask her out, she can make it easy for him. She could say something like, “My friends and I are going to play pool tonight. It’s really fun.” That way, it’s an easy transition to ask him if he wants to come along.

So, as a woman, to flirt correctly, you must send the proper signals and then kick your efforts up a notch, or take them down a notch depending on the response you get. Soon you’ll be able to gauge the proper levels of flirtation so that you can actually mould any man’s behavior just by flirting a little more or a little less. That’s just how much power a woman’s flirting can have over men. Use your power wisely.

When it comes to men and their levels of attraction, they are based on a few factors:

• Physical attraction
• Mental attraction
• Social attraction
• Physical attraction

No, that’s not a typo. Physical attraction is mentioned twice on purpose, but we’ll get to that later. First, let’s look at physical attraction in general. Men are biologically made to notice a woman’s appearance. It’s no coincidence that beautiful women sell magazines and why movies depicting beautiful women sell out at the box office. Sex sells and beauty sells, and it’s all because of biology. Men’s DNA is designed to go after the most biologically viable female. That means he is looking for a woman who will make healthy babies.

While that may sound animalistic and impersonal, it’s a biological fact. Therefore, it’s no wonder why you, as a woman, dress up before you go out. You’ll shave your legs, wax your eyebrows, use special bras to push your boobs together, put make up on your face, do your hair and wear lots of great smelling perfume. Why do you do this? You do it to attract a man. Because you know a man is always going to be attracted to the physical first.

However, the physical isn’t the only thing that attracts a man. If you’re not the best looking woman on the planet, and you don’t have the best body, you can still attract men. You can do it by playing on their mental attraction levels. This is where you constantly keep him guessing and you never let him onto to how you truly feel about him.

Building and maintaining mental attraction can best be accomplished by teasing him, flirting with him and then ignoring him, making a date with him and then cancelling or postponing that date, etc. If he’s constantly put off balance, he will go crazy for you and will pursue you more than ever. You must keep him hooked, however, which is done by showing him attention, flirting with him and even turning him on, then pulling away. This trick works like a charm and even if he’s not that physically attracted to you. Of course there must be at least some physical attraction for this to work, but even if it’s only a little he will go crazy with desire when you play on his mental attraction levels.

Social attraction is where you always have something going on. When he calls, tell him you were busy with a club you attend, or you were out with friends. A man never wants to know that you’re just home sitting by the phone waiting for him to call. He wants to know that you’re desired by other men. He wants to know that you have friends and that you go out with those friends. The thing is that most men don’t know they want this. But if you can make it appear as though your calendar is always full, and that you don’t have a lot of time for him, he will go crazy with desire. He’ll make it his personal goal to implant himself into your social life. Your job is just to give him attention and then pull away because you’re too busy. Create the right balance, and you’ll have him eating out of the palm of your hand.

Finally, there’s physical attraction again. It’s included twice on the list because it’s so important when it comes to men and attraction levels. So if you want to get that man you’ve got your sights on, make sure you’re what he’s looking for physically. That doesn’t mean you have to look like a model. It just means taking care of yourself and making yourself look desirable. If you can accomplish that, you’ll be able to create attraction in any man you have your eye on.

If you have no idea whether or not he is ready for a relationship, as in he’s never brought it up or asked you to be his girlfriend, you will need to hint about it if you want it to happen. Some men are very forthcoming about wanting you to be their girlfriend. They’ll ask you right away without hesitation. Some men don’t say it so freely, even if they want it. They may not want to ruin a good thing, or they not be completely sure that they’re ready for a relationship, etc. They need a little urging. Therefore, you’re going to have to come up with a good way to hint that you want to go from casual to committed without being so obvious.

A good way to do this is to wait until the two of you agree on something. When you do, say something like the two of you are so great together. Then say, of course you’re the smart one so that you mix a little humor into it. That will at least lay the seed so that you can bring it up later on. Now, if he says, “We are great together,” then that’s a great time to bring it up. But if he doesn’t say anything like that, it’s best to leave it at a hint so that you can mention it again.

Another good way to get him to go from casual to committed is to make sure he’s not seeing anyone else. You might want to ask him if he’s seeing another person. If he’s not very forthcoming, then there may be someone else and he may not want to commit to you. That very well could happen and you must prepare yourself for it when you ask that type of question.

If he’s not seeing anyone else, and it’s been a while since you two have been going out, it’s ok at that point to ask about becoming committed. There’s also no rule about whether the man or the woman should ask the other to commit to them, but that person will just know it when the time is right.

If he says no, but that he still wants to date you, you have to decide then and there whether you want to continue with the relationship. Sometimes, breaking up with someone will make them realize how important you were to them. But the bottom line is that if you want a committed relationship, and that person doesn’t, by staying in that relationship you are wasting your time. The more time you stay in that relationship, the less time you’ll get to spend in a relationship that fulfils you. So consider whether or not the relationship is worth continuing for your own happiness.

But the more you hint that you want to go from casual to committed, and the more you gauge how he feels about you so that you know the time is right, the closer you’ll be to a fulfilling relationship with the man you love.

The first complaint most women have when it comes to relationships is that the man is ignoring her. This is a cue that can be misinterpreted in many ways. Many women think that when a man is ignoring her, he no longer loves her or no longer finds her attractive. That’s not true. Of course, it could be true, but more than likely it means he’s just comfortable having you around. When men are comfortable, they don’t feel as though they have to work as hard to gain your affection. So they stop bringing you flowers and telling you how pretty you are, etc. They don’t do it purposely, they are only responding to how their brains work. Therefore, you have to do a little urging so that you can get him to tell you exactly what you want.

You must tell your man that the two of you have to talk. Now, be careful. Men hate those words, “We have to talk.” To them, it usually means they’re about to get yelled at. And they’re usually right. So instead of telling them that you two have to talk, tell them that you want to ask them something. Make sure you get his full attention. Do not pick the middle of the game, or whatever else he’s engrossed in, to make the announcement. If there’s tension already, doing that won’t help a thing and you’ll only end up causing him to shut down. Instead, choose a time that’s quiet and where two can be alone to talk. Even if you have to wait for several days, this is important because the time has to be exactly right if you hope to turn him around.

When talking to him, if he’s unable to look you in the eye, he may be hiding something. You can usually gauge how he feels about you by the way he looks at you. However, he could be tired or stressed, too. You can’t cancel those types of things out. So look into his eyes and judge how he’s feeling. Then ask him about these things.

Men aren’t used to talking but talking is very cathartic. He’ll instantly feel better if you can get him to talk, and the two of you will be closer because of it, too.

If he completely shuts down, then something is really bothering him. This would only be cause for concern if he was never like that before. If he was always kind of an internal type person, then having him go internal during your relationship isn’t necessarily a red flag. However, if he used to adore you and now he hardly says two words to you, that’s a serious problem.

This could mean that he’s angry at you for something, or it could mean that he has his mind on someone else. Only you will be able to gauge this by talking to him.

It’s important to note that you should never, at any time during your talk, yell or accuse him of anything. This talk is all about sharing. It’s not about fighting. Try and have a good talk, get him to talk about what’s bothering him, and then have lots of makeup sex. That’s great advice for building a strong relationship, whether things have been hectic or they’re been great. A relationship is all about communication and any relationship without communication isn’t worth saving.

If He’s Dating Other Women

If the man is seeing other women, you should never ask about them or bring them up so that you can show them that they don’t bother you. Because the fact is they will bother you. In fact, they’ll be all you’re thinking about whenever you and your man aren’t in the same room together. Instead, you let him think that you’re dating other people. You don’t have to talk about it, but if he’s dating other women he should never think you’re not dating anyone else. That way, he’ll know he’s got some competition.

If you don’t want lie, you don’t have to. Just tell him that you don’t want to talk about. However, you can’t say that you’re seeing other men and then go out with this man every weekend. You must suddenly busy up your schedule. You must suddenly become unavailable, even if he’s used to you being there all the time. What this does is it creates a sense of urgency. That’s the best way to get him to commit.

Sense of Urgency

When you tell the man you don’t want to talk about it, and then you suddenly become unavailable, this will drive him crazy because he’ll see there’s actually a chance he may lose you. Now, for this to be extra effective, you must double up on the attraction whenever you do spend time with him. Really tease him mentally and sexually and let that tension build. Then he won’t be able to wait to see you again, only to have to wait because you’re making him wait. This is very effective and he will commit to you before you know it.

A sense of urgency is similar to the home shopping network commercials that tell customers they only have thirty nine seconds left to call! When he thinks he may lose his chance, he’ll really pursue you.

Taking it to the Next Level

If he’s not seeing anyone else, or if he is and you’ve created that sense of urgency, you can take things to the next level simply by asking. Or, you can even get him to say it by putting the ideas in his head. By telling him how great the two of you are together, and about how good the two of you look as a couple, he’ll start to think it, too. Then, even if he doesn’t bring it up, he’ll be very open to the idea.

Then, all you’ll have to do tell him you think you should take it to the next level. You can word it any way that sounds naturally for you. But if you’re prepared him correctly, he’ll undoubtedly say yes and then you’ll be able to enter into the fulfilling relationship you hoped for.

1.      If you feel that all men looking for a date online are weirdos who can’t get a date any other way, then what are you doing online in the first place? Let’s be realistic. The Internet has become one of the main ways people communicate nowadays and with the hectic lifestyles we all lead, if it weren’t for the net we probably wouldn’t ever meet anyone new… ever! If you print in big bold letters that you think all guys online are strange, what do you think the chances of anyone approaching you are?

2.      Are you looking for a date or an employee? Too many women seem to think that their profile is the place to post a job advert. Listing all the qualities you are looking for in a guy, including his financial status, may seem like a great way to narrow the playing field but all you are doing is turning men off, including the few that may live up to your list. Why? Simple. Who wants to date a gold digger – which is how you will come across – or someone who is so self-absorbed that they can’t see beyond their own needs and desires? Would you?

3.      Ladies, don’t reveal your whole life story in your profile. If your profile looks more like a novel than a short presentation you are hurting yourself twice. First, men have a very short attention span and aren’t going to sit there and read the next Great American Novel. That’s not what they are there for. They want to find a date, not reading material. Secondly, if you reveal everything about yourself in your profile, you take all the fun out of the discovery process at the beginning of a potential relationship. Men like a little mystery, so don’t put all of yourself out there even before you meet the guy.

4.      Playing hard to get may seem like a great way to bag the guy, but you will likely find that waiting five days to answer his message is definitely not the way to go. Not unless you are looking for a guy who is only interested in getting you into bed. A regular guy who wants to build something for the future is not going to take your delayed answer as a challenge, he will just thing you aren’t into him and then move on. So, by time you send your email he may already be connecting with someone else.

5.      Are you being less than truthful with your age and appearance? While the Internet may allow us quite a bit of anonymity and we think it’s a great way for someone to get to know us before they judge based on age and appearance, this strategy always backfires. Why? Well, simply because if you do find someone you connect with and want to meet him, how can he trust you when you have been lying all along about your looks.

If you want to truly find someone to connect with online, then you need to be open and honest, yet at the same time keep enough back so he can discover the mystery that you are. Putting everything out there all at once only makes you appear desperate. Just relax and be yourself.

Despite how much society has progressed over the last century in terms of women’s rights, it still is quite a man’s world out there, even if it’s a subject that is not openly discussed. This often means that if women want to stand a chance of getting ahead in their careers, then they have to be as masculine as the men they are competing against. In many cases they have to come across as even stronger because of their gender.

The problem, though, is that many women bring this attitude home with them. It becomes so ingrained that they act they same way with men in all areas of their life, including their personal life. While being masculine with your best guy friend is great, trying to compete and do battle with a man you want to date will simply lead to disaster.

There is a reason men go out with women and want to have a relationship with them and it certainly isn’t because they want to feel as if they are on a battlefield all the time. You know you are a strong woman, you don’t have to project it by intimidating him and showing him you don’t need him from the start, when oftentimes quite the opposite is true.

However much you want to say that you are fine on your own and don’t need a man to look after you, we know that isn’t exactly true. After all, we are all hardwired to need a partner, someone to share our lives with. On the other hand, society has been teaching women that, essentially, femininity is a weakness and many women take it to the extreme because if they show weakness in their career then they will never be able to compete with their counterparts.

You need to ask yourself, though, what you really want. Are you looking for a partner, someone who will support you when you need it or comfort you when it all gets too much? Or are you looking for another adversary? You most likely don’t realize you do it, but try to take a step back and analyze yourself and your actions. Do you dress in your power suit that you use as a shield at work? Are you grilling him on your first date and trying to intimidate him with your accomplishments?

If you are, then you need to put the brakes on and let the woman inside you come out to play while you are with him. Remember that being feminine in your personal life is not a weakness, it is a strength. A men will do anything to make you happy because seeing you happy makes him feel fulfilled. Most men will tell you there is nothing sexier to them than a smile on the face of the woman they love that they put there.

But if you don’t let him see your feminine side and keep competing with him, then why should he want to date you? He might as well go out with his mates for a couple of beers and few games of pool, the result will be the same. However, if you are sexy and flirt with him, if you allow him to be a man by letting the part of you that wants to be taken care of shine through, you will be even sexier to him. Simply because he knows you are strong and independent but he will feel on top of the world that you are entrusting him with your care, and your heart.

These women don’t have a mysterious animal magnetism or a strange kind of magic happening. They just understand the signals men look for when they’re out to find a partner and know how to put them to good use.

Any woman on the planet can use subtle body language signals to entice any man she wants over to her. It makes no difference whether you’re short or tall, young or old, thin or cuddly; men are attracted to certain attitudes within women.

What’s Your Attitude?

Men love to be around confident, positive, happy women. These types of women make them feel good when they’re in their company. A woman who is able to exude this kind of confident happiness is showing him that she’s got a grasp on her life and is doing what makes her feel great.

When you’re out at a party or a club or with friends, men seem instantly drawn to the woman who isn’t seeking approval from anyone, but who is quite sure of who she is and where she fits into her own place in the crowd.

Unfortunately, men are also able to spot desperation in moments. While there are some predator-types out there willing to prey on these women, you can be sure their intentions aren’t always of the long-lasting kind.

If you’re inwardly worried that a man might think you’re too fat or too short or too old, this insecurity about your physical appearance will display itself in your body language. When you’re having a conversation, he’ll also be listening for any negative comments or signs of complaining.

A man is able to tell by a woman’s posture, movements and first few sentences whether she’s confident, positive and happy or whether she’s negative, insecure and likely to complain about things. He is also able to quickly determine whether you’re out trying to meet someone out of desperation or fear of being alone.

Reality Check

It’s a well-known fact that most women feel insecure about something on themselves. Even the most gorgeous, toned, naturally beautiful women have parts of their bodies they’re not happy about. Women are their own worst critics.

The truth is, you’re much more physically attractive than you give yourself credit for. It’s also important to realize that you probably don’t see yourself in the same way as how the rest of the world views you.

The key to building the right attitude is to accept yourself for who you are and be proud to be you. If you can achieve this, looks, size and age simply don’t matter. Men will be drawn to that indescribable quality within you that makes them want to be around you.

Know How to Flirt

Men are naturally attracted to women who know how to use subtle flirting techniques to their advantage. It drives them wild. Flirting is all about being playful, a little bit mischievous and letting him know that you’re interested in him as more than just a friend.

The vast majority of flirting takes place silently, using body language and subtle signals that both men and women pick up on quickly. While there are specific signs and signals you can learn, successful flirting is all about confidence and attitude.

For example, if you’re trying to attract the attention of that good looking guy across the room, don’t fold your arms, or hunch your shoulders, or fidget with your fingernails.

Instead, offer him a cheeky little smile and raise an eyebrow in invitation at him. He’ll pick up on your cues quickly.

Who knows? He may have already been waiting for your invitation to come over and say hi.

Women don’t realize exactly how much weight body language carries when they are trying to show a man they are interested. Men are very visual creatures and even if your voice is saying “yes, I am interested” they will still take your body language into account and it often carries more weight than what you are saying.

Why? Simply because most women won’t come straight out and say that they are interested in a man. They will skirt the issue and hope that he will catch on to various signals that, usually, are the wrong ones. This confuses men and he will sit there wondering if he should listen to what you vocalizing or what your body is saying.

The problem is that women are still rather subservient in our society, even if it is a subject that is avoided in an attempt to be politically correct. This means that most women are still seeking approval from everyone around them which often makes them extremely nervous when talking to men. However, most men are not so in tune with women that they understand she is simply nervous. They take her different postures and actions as being a sign that she isn’t interested.

So, if you catch yourself doing the following things, even if it’s simply because you are nervous, you need to quell your nerves if you ever want to get further than “hello.”

1.      Do you look away? Is your nervousness making you look everywhere except at him? Most men will simply take this as a sign that you are not interested. It will never cross their minds that you are simply shy or nervous about making a good impression.

You need to be open and look at him. If you look straight at him and make eye contact you will be projecting your interest silently. This is a great way to also show a man you like that you are open to him coming over and talking to you. So, if you want to attract a man then you need to show him your interest by looking at him more than once. One look means that you may be interested, two or more will let him know that you are definitely open to him coming over and striking up a conversation.

2.      Check your posture. When people are nervous they tend to sit or stand with their arms folded across their chest. You need to open up your body posture and not give the impression you are about to flee. Few men will realize this has anything to do with your insecurity. They will simply believe they are boring you to tears and you can’t wait to get away, or that you simply aren’t interested.

3.      Fidgeting is also a killer. Even if you are fidgeting because you are simply nervous or intimidated, he will just think that you are bored and would love nothing better than to escape his company. Yes, even if you absolutely adore him and can’t believe he is actually talking to you. Remember that men have their own insecurities and need to be encouraged.

Fidgeting will only make him doubt himself and your interest in him. However, if you give him your undivided attention, no matter how nervous you may be, your body language will be in line with what you are thinking, namely that you are really enjoying his company.

You need to realize how important body language is and how a small gesture can be the difference between being asked out on a date and being ignored. After all, men, just like women, don’t want to embarrass themselves by being shot down by someone they may be interested in. So, if you don’t show him you are open to him then he won’t approach you.

Some women seem to have a natural magnetism that draws men to them and makes men want to seek out their attention. Unfortunately, other women can’t seem to find a way to make men even notice they exist.

This huge disparity between how successful women can be with men while others aren’t makes us believe that we might not be pretty enough, or we’re not thin enough, or that we have the wrong colored hair or our bra size is inadequate, or a myriad of other things. Each of these things is a form of insecurity about something we perceive about ourselves that could be repelling men and making it harder to meet the right guy.

So how do those man-magnets do it? How do they really attract that kind of attention from men, even when they’re not so pretty or thin or young or special?

When you ask men what they look for, they might give you a list of physical attributes as long as their arm, but in reality the types of women they chase often don’t have these things. They have an allure that is much deeper than physical appearance and it’s something all women can learn.

Here are the top four things you can do to attract men to you:

Confidence

A self-confident woman is happy with who she is and exudes an air of positivity that men adore. The key to showing confidence is learning to accept that you are uniquely you. Nobody else gets the right to be you, and that’s something to be proud of.

Unfortunately, when you look in the mirror, you see a skewed version of yourself that isn’t the same as how other people see you. In fact, you probably have no idea how attractive you really are.

When you’re out in a crowd, stand tall and be proud to be you. Don’t hunch your shoulders or fold your arms over your chest. Smile and realize that confidence is attractive all by itself.

Smile

The power of a smile should never be underestimated. When you smile, your entire face can change to show a happier version of you. You become more approachable and you become more appealing to men.

Men find happy women very attractive. A happy, good-natured woman is far less likely to complain or to find fault in everything he does or to blame him for how badly she’s feeling that day.

Find ways to include activities in your life that make you feel good and keep you feeling happy about your life. Your happy feelings will begin to show in your attitude and you’ll become more attractive to men as a result.

Look Your Best

Despite the fact that men seem to say they prefer specific physical traits in women, did you know that they really don’t care how tall you are or what color your hair is or how thin you are?

What they do care about is that you are looking after what you have. It shows you have pride in your appearance, which is a form of confidence all on its own.

When you go out, take a little time to get your hair looking right. Wear clothes that flatter you and ignore silly fashions or colors that just don’t fit your body shape.

Besides, when you’ve made an effort to look good, you’ll automatically feel good too, and this will show in your body language to anyone who’s watching.

Body Language

Always be aware of your body language. There are so many subtle cues you can send out with your body that can either attract a man to come right up to you, or send him running in the opposite direction.

Smiling is a great start, as it makes you more approachable and more appealing instantly. Simple little actions, like playing with your necklace or your hair, might seem harmless, but they can actually send subliminal messages out to men that tell him you want him to come over and say hi.

Another great body language tip is to make eye contact with a man who interests you. Your eyes have the power to invite him over, give him a subtle hint that you’re interested too or let him know you’re terrified and want to run away and hide.

The next time you go out and see an attractive man you’d love to meet, keep these simple tips in mind. You’ll be surprised at how easy it can be to attract men to you when you know what they’re really looking at.