Daughter of the Empire : Book 2

Please note:

2008-03-10T09:30:00.004+01:00

This is the 2nd book in the Star Wars fan fiction trilogy Daughter of the Empire. This is a Imperial side novel set in the time of the Empire. You will find the complete story, as well as the ebook, kindle and PDF files of Books 1,2 & 3 here. There are also extras and short stories to be enjoyed.

Daughter of the Empire 3

Please adjust your links accordingly if you link to this page.

Thank you

Please Note

2008-02-19T14:35:00.000+01:00

This is the 2nd book in the trilogy. You will find the current story, as well as the PDF files of Books one and two here,

Daughter of the Empire 3

Please adjust your links accordingly if you link to this page.

Thank you

Please update your Links

2007-08-20T11:40:00.000+02:00

This part of the project has ended and the next book is being posted here

http://dote3.blogspot.com/

Please udate your links accordingly, thank you

cheers,
Merly

To be continued

2007-05-07T08:01:00.000+02:00

This is the end of book 2 in the trilogy Daughter of the Empire.

Book 3 can be found here.

Thank you all for your support, readership and all the comments which are so very welcome. It makes writing this story a joy!

cheers and have a great summer!
-merlyn

The Wrong Side of Right 12

2007-05-03T21:20:00.000+02:00

According to the data Parck had given me, Thrawn and his fleet were at least thirty-six hours away from Nirauan at the shuttle’s top hyper-speed. With the co-ordinates for the beacon drop punched into the nav computer and the automated pilot there wasn’t much else for me to do. Falling back on old patterns I spent a lot of time in the engine room. I was nervous about being on a ship I was unfamiliar with and the only way I knew how to deal with that was to get to know her from top to bottom. It also kept me busy and being busy kept me from thinking too much about what had happened.

The worse moments came when I found myself idle, when I was making something to eat or trying to sleep. Most of the time, when the memories would flood back, my hunger would vanish and the sight of what ever I had cooked made me sick. I found it odd that I couldn’t cry. There was a giant knot in my gut waiting for some trigger, some escape but there was no release. There was just felt a terrible emptiness that gnawed at my soul the way hunger ate at my belly. Sleep, when it came, was fitful and filled with dreams of things I couldn’t decipher. Gone was the gentle guiding voice of Qui Gon Jinn, almost as if he had never existed. All I remembered when I woke up frightened and sweat soaked, were vague images of things I did not understand and the Emperor’s dreadful laughter.

Time seemed to move the same way the hyperspace field did, strangely in whorls of light and shifting matter. I lost track of it. I lost track of myself and spent a lot of time just sitting in the cockpit staring out into hyperspace. It was terrible loneliness here to be but I didn’t care.

Many people could not travel in space alone. It made them go crazy. All that empty blackness, some people just couldn’t handle it. There were stories about ghost ships and haunted moons, dead zones where, if you flew in, you would never come out. I had heard them all as a kid at the docking bay, listening with rapt attention to the stories the spacers told, sometimes paying the price with terrible dreams of lost souls and scary monsters. As with most childhood demons these passed when I grew older but the fascination with space did not.

I had never flown out beyond the Outer Rim before; the furthest away from the Core I had ever been was to Hjal and then Nirauan. This was different. I was in uncharted territory now. There were no official maps of this part of space only what Thrawn and his people had charted and those maps were basic and sparse because, while Thrawn liked to do a thorough job, his fleet was not large enough or set up to do a proper surveillance and cartography. Still I studied the charts Parck had given me carefully. So much uncharted territory, a few planets dotted here and there along with an occasional marked anomaly.

I wished I had brought Thrawn’s letters with me. I desperately needed his voice, his words but instead, at his insistence, I had left them behind as I now felt I had left my life behind. I didn’t know what to do. The minutes passed like hours and hours moved like months. The space around me was endless and empty, even in the swirls of hyperspace I knew there was nothing out there except more space and for the first time in my life I was afraid of it. So, I sat in the pilot’s chair of a ship that I didn’t feel at home in and stared out of the cockpit window, unable to cry, unable to mourn, unable to let go.

When I finally dropped out of hyperspace into the area Parck had given me as the designated communication zone, I was beyond tired and I couldn’t recall the last time I had actually eaten something solid. Despite the good store of provisions Parck’s quartermaster had laid in I had no appetite. I slowed down the impulse engines and came to an idling stop in the specified coordinates.

It was vast, this area of space. The pin pricks of light indicating stars and maybe solar systems were very far and few between. It almost seemed as though someone had spilled a giant bottle of black ink but it had not quite covered everything. I shivered. I checked the long ranger sensor but there was nothing else out there, at least nothing that could be picked up. I was utterly alone. I set the long range transmitter to the frequency Parck has given me and put it on repeat. There wasn’t much else to do except deploy the booster beacon and to do that I had to get it ready to drop from the cargo bay which was a manual job.

The beacon booster was small and unlike anything I had ever seen before. Different technology, Parck has explained, which Thrawn had ‘borrowed’ and tinkered with. Parck had shown me how to activate and deploy it, not a difficult procedure but fiddly. I was just setting it in the drop cradle when the proximity alarm stated beeping loudly. It scared the sand jiggers out of me, but I figured, I hoped it was actually Thrawn’s fleet. Despite Parck’s warning it never occurred to me to think other wise. I set the beacon in the cradle and closed it up. Maybe if I had been less tired, less self absorbed, thinking more clearly I would have sensed what was coming next but as It was I didn’t and it took me utterly by surprise.

I was half way back to the cockpit when the first blast struck. I was flung hard into the bulkhead, smashing my head violently against the durasteel. For a moment I saw blackness and a burst of stars, accompanied by a shard of pain so sharp it sucked my breath away. I stood trying to find my balance, one hand braced against the bulkhead the other holding my head. I could feel blood ooze between my fingers.

Before I had time to consider the consequences of what had just happened, a second blast hit and the shuttle rocked violently again, more alarms began to scream at me. Without thinking about it, I ran then because I hadn’t put the ship’s shields up. Shields drew a lot of power and I hadn’t thought I needed them here, the sensors had said I was alone. I had not been thinking at all and now, through a haze of pain, I was cursing my stupidity. I had truly thought there was nothing out here, just me and a whole lot of space. Rebels, I whispered to myself but in truth I wasn’t so sure. Parck’s words about pirates and scavengers were coming back to haunt me.

By the time I was seated in the cockpit who ever had been firing had done so again. I didn’t think they wanted to blow this ship up because they were targeting mostly non essential areas but I wasn’t used to being fired on. I had never been trained as a combat pilot and my heart was racing. My anxiety changed to fear when I tried to activate the shields but couldn’t, the second blast had been well aimed and the shield generator had gone down. The Aeolian didn’t have a back up. I flipped switches and revved the sublight engine up to full power because my attacker was two steps ahead. The targeting computer showed me where the enemy was and I strapped myself in bringing the weapons on line. I could not recall ever being so afraid or feeling so alone before. In that single moment I knew despair.

Use the force...

The voice suddenly washed over me so clear, so close that I thought for a second someone else was standing in the cockpit behind me, whispering in my ear. I must have banged my head harder than I though. I was hearing voices now. The voice sounded similar and I gasped at its touch, which was both reassuring and painful. I looked around me to make certain but there was no one else, other than me here along with an awful lot of empty space and someone trying to blow me up. I was over tired and jumped up on adrenaline plus I had more pressing things to worry about than hearing voices or seeing ghosts.

I swung the Shuttle about, following the blip on the targeting computer to try and face my opponent. When it came into view, I was breathless. It was a design unlike anything I had ever seen and I understood then that this was a species I had never come across before; they were not part of the Emperor’s galaxy. I targeted the ship and fired. Parck had not been kidding when he had said the weapons had been upgraded and who ever had been firing at me was not expecting my ship to have teeth. But they still had a shield and mine was down.

We danced, a waltz done with ships against a backdrop of darkness with silence without music. We swung around each other, firing our weapons, hitting and missing, only to back off and then reengage. At some point I stopped being scared, there was no time to be scared, no time to consider what might happen there was only the now. I stopped trying and simply did. The sensation of being watched was stronger than ever and for the second time I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

Merlyn, use the force….

I felt a subtle nudge and I stopped thinking.

The shuttle took hard hit to the portside and I knew before the dash board began to light up that something vital had been damaged, I could hear it in the sound of the engines. Alarms screamed at me but I didn’t hear them. I drew a very deep breath and found the stillness. In the last weeks that I had spent training with Lord Vader, reaching that core and finding that part of me connected to the force had become easier. Everything I had ever been taught was coming into play, right here, right now. I saw in my mind’s eye the ship that was attacking me swing around to disable the engines and I knew they wanted my ship more or less whole, they didn’t care about the beings inside, they were trying to disable the shuttle not blow her up. Pirates or scavengers, I didn’t know. I didn’t care. I was beyond tired.

Merlyn…

I closed my eyes just as the ship fired at me again, sparks exploded from the consol. The Aeolian shuddered terribly and spun out of control. I battled with her and brought her back into line just as another shot hit me. The main engines began to fail. There was a back up hyperdrive but I couldn’t access it, something on the main consol had shorted out in the last volley of fire. I swore violently as the ship that was after me began to swing around to make its final move.

Now girl, now…!

Whose voice whispered in my ear I didn’t know but it held an urgency I couldn’t ignore. I didn’t think, I didn’t breathe I just fired. I had hit the unknown ship many times during this skirmish, and because the Aeolian’s guns were just better I had weakened my opponent’s shields. The voice in my head guided me even as I fought to keep my ship steady, the terrible scream of engines about to blow sounding louder to me than anything else I had ever heard. Just a little more, old girl, I whispered, just hang on a few seconds more… Without looking I knew I was dead on target and I fired again. Guided by an unseen hand, my aim was true. I hit the one weak spot my enemy had. The explosion was huge and momentarily blinded me.

The Aeolian was tossed about, a grain of sand in a storm. I just gritted my teeth and shut my eyes tightly, holding on to the steering control for dear life. I felt it as the main engine failed and the ship spun aimlessly, uselessly. I felt the momentary lurch as the gravity plating lost power then reversed as the back up generator kicked in but even from the cock pit I could tell it wasn’t functioning right either. The screaming of alarms, the stench of burning cables and wires brought me back to reality sharply. When I shook off the shock of what had just happened I realised that my troubles were only just beginning.

My head throbbed savagely, all the jerking and spinning about had not helped. As a wave of nausea swept through me I wondered if maybe I had a concussion but there wasn’t much time to do anything about it. I stumbled down to the engine room, bracing myself along the bulkhead because the shuttle was listing badly. My worst fears were confirmed when I began to assess the damage. The main engine was a mess, and the shield generator had been completely fried. Main life support was failing and the back up generator wasn’t in good shape. Who ever it was that had been attacking me had known exactly where to strike. My guess was that they had either attacked lambda class ships before or had scanned me without me knowing about it. Either way, it didn’t matter any more, what mattered now was getting power back on line, without it I was dead in space relying solely on battery back up and that had a very limited life span.

After half an hour I knew. No amount of tinkering or fixing would sort out the main engine and the back up was failing fast. A vital part had been badly damaged and there was no way for me to repair or jury rig a new part. I was so frustrated I screamed out loud. I had spare parts onboard of the Sigiri but I had not thought to bring any with me. I never occurred to me I would need them and I was going to pay for that now. I was well and truly screwed.

I turned my attention from fixing the engine and the generator to seeing how best to conserve what power I did have left so that at the very least I had breathable air and some warmth. Space was very cold and with minimal internal heating the ship would turn into a giant freezer, not something I looked forward to. I didn’t deal well with cold.

I knew the moment the back up generator died. It spluttered spewing sparks all over the place and the gravity plating went offline again until the battery back up kicked in. All I could do was hold on and pray. My head ached and my guts churned but when I tried to throw up there was nothing in my stomach so there was no mess but it didn’t make feel any better. Low gravity came back online, enough to give me weight. I knelt on the engine room floor, my head down to try and stop the dizziness and suddenly remembered I had not deployed the booster beacon. At least I thought ruefully I could still do that and whispered a silent thankful prayer that the manual release still worked.

I shut down as many non essential systems as I could, anything that I did not require I took off-line until the only things left were heat and life support. I turned the heat down as far as I dared and closed off as much of the unused areas of the shuttle that I could. What didn’t need to be heated wasn’t. The batteries had an approximate life span of six or seven hours and I hoped I could increase that to ten. When I had done all I could do in the engine room I made my way back to the cockpit, picking up a bottle of water and some blankets on the way. Already the shuttle was cooling down and I shivered. In a few hours it would be very cold, not enough to kill but more than enough to make me uncomfortable. I grabbed the med kit and scavenged it for pain killers. My head throbbed violently now and it was making me miserable.

Once in the cockpit I settled into the pilot’s chair hoping no more strange ships or pirates showed up, if they did I was dead. I double checked that the signal I was broadcasting on the frequency Parck had given me was still being sent out, noted that the booster beacon was also online and then because there was nothing else I could do I waited.

I flitted in and out of a doze and time passed slowly, oddly. Memories and dreams jumbled together as I sat huddled under the blankets, cold enough to reconsider my decision to drop the heat but I knew I had made the right choice. I could live without heat for longer than I could live without air but I wished I had brought my Dantassi clothes, especially the warm ones Navaari had given me on Hjal.

Thinking about Navaari made me sad. It occurred to me in this moment that I might not actually survive this. I had no idea where Thrawn and his fleet really were, as Parck had said it could take them up to three standard days to reach the signal point if they were on the outer limits of its range. I didn’t have days; I had hours. So I began to record letters. I wanted the people I loved to at least know what had happened. I should have felt fear even anger or sorrow at this but I didn’t, instead I felt nothing. As I spoke my words to my family I wondered how they would take it. It didn’t seem right somehow to die so far away, so alone but it was somehow fitting.

I spoke to my father as though he were with me, telling him how much I truly loved him and how sorry I was for all the fights, all the pain I know I had caused. I addressed Bel and Bedi as well. I left a similar but shorter version for my uncle but it did not seem like enough. What was there to say? I didn’t really know so I babbled a little and then said a quiet goodbye. As the pain in my head grew worse, it became a struggle to concentrate.

With the letter to my family done I began to dictate my letter to Thrawn. I spoke in his native language because what I had to say to him I didn’t want anyone else knowing. I told him what had happened at Endor, everything I could remember from the moment I had been summoned to the Emperor’s chamber on the battle station to escaping the blast from its destruction. I tried to be clear and clinical about it but I wasn’t sure how I came across. I kept forgetting what I had said and had to back track to pick up the thread of it. My mind was having trouble focusing and the cold was starting to get to me. When I had nothing more to report on that incident I started a second letter, a personal one but I didn’t know how to tell him what I felt for him, I couldn’t utter the words I carried in my heart because it seemed to me that if I did, then I really would die and in that moment I knew I didn’t want to. Not like this, all alone in a region of space so far away from my home that I could not even see the planet on the chart. I decided then, that if I could not tell him what I felt in my heart to his face, I would not speak the words at all. Silent unwanted tears pricked my eyes, rolled down my cheeks and splashed on the broken consol. These tears brought no relief and did nothing to ease the terrible pain I still felt inside, they only made it worse.

In the end I gave up trying so all that was on the data recorder for him to hear was that I was sorry, my voice a trembling whisper as I spoke. I didn’t know what to say. How could I express the extraordinary grace his gifts of passion, and caring had given to me? All that he was to me could never be spoken in words. In my mind I could see his smile, sense his warmth and remember the power of his touch. His voice was a caress in my soul I would carry with me until the moment I died, I clung to its memory, but it wasn’t enough. I am bound to you… he had said and the memory of his words made me ache with sorrow.

Here, now all alone on this broken ship I could not show him what he meant to me, I could not even speak it. I wished at that moment that the force or what ever this gift was that I had would allow me to pour these sensations into the data chip so that when he touched it he would know, there was only him and no one else but I knew this was useless effort. In the end all I could hope for was that Thrawn would understand because he always understood. When I was done I put the data recorder where it would be found, the messages were protected by an Imperial code which only he would know. I had every faith that he would find me, just not that he would come in time.

I closed my eyes. I was so tired and my head hurt so much that all I wanted to do was get away from the pain. None of the meds I had taken seemed to work and the cold was making me sleepy. In the back of my mind I knew this was wrong, that falling asleep was the very worst thing I could do but I no longer cared. A part of me had died at Endor, when Lord Vader had severed the tie between us something within me had broken.

He had been a terrible ruin of a man who had done unspeakable things in the name of an Emperor, in the name of a master who had twisted his soul. But at one point he had been a person who had loved, who had given freely and cared deeply about those around him. He had not been born evil he had been made that way, betrayed by the one man he had admired and looked up to above all others, betrayed right up until the bitter end. How I hated Palpatine for this. Lord Vader would forever be reviled through out the galaxy, even though it was the Emperor’s evil that had made him what he was. No matter what lay behind it all, Darth Vader was the symbol of all that was terrible.

But I ached for a loss that I couldn’t comprehend. As much as I had feared him, had been frustrated with him and hurt by him I understood that part of me had also loved him and now he was gone. It hurt more deeply than I could have ever imagined. I did not understand the thing that had wound our two lives together and neither had he or anyone else. Not even the Emperor could sever it and he himself had said as much. I remembered his words clearly… I sense that you have formed a bond with him that will be difficult to break…well, now it was broken. And so, it seemed, was I.

I was certain the rest of the galaxy would rejoice Vader’s loss and they had a right to for all that he had been. But I would mourn his passing. I would probably be the only one. I was one of the only people who knew who he had been before the dark times. I had seen when he had been the hero of the galaxy, their beacon of hope in a terrible war. I had seen him love unabashedly, willing to die in order to preserve what he held dearest. As he had hated so he had loved. If he had one true fault it was that he was passionate, too much so and it had ruled and ruined him. No one would remember him as a hero only as a vile demon who had done terrible, terrible things but I had known him better and the pain of it broke my heart. I didn’t try to stop the terrible sob that broke free from my chest. I simply buried my head in my hands and wept.

When the crying stopped, my head ached so fiercely that I wondered briefly, if this was punishment for caring so much about a fallen man. Sick to my stomach, I closed my eyes and began to drift into a deadly sleep. I felt it creep up on me warm and seductive and I welcomed it. As the world of troubles around me began to slip away I could have sworn I heard a voice, a man’s voice whisper in my ear. Telling me to breathe deeply, to concentrate and find my center.

“Meditate and find peace there….” He said gently.

I remembered similar words from a recent lesson. It seemed strange to hear the same advice from an unfamiliar voice, a kind voice. I whimpered, sorrow and fear creeping into my consciousness. I could have sworn I felt the subtle brush of someone’s hand warm and gentle on my cheek but I opened my eyes there was no one there. I was hallucinating or dreaming or both.

“Become the stillness, girl… you are not finished yet…”

I did as I was told. I drew deep steadying breaths and meditated. I found that center, that quiet place deep within and it was there I settled my mind. Nothing else existed, only this place, only this warmth, only this strange sense of calm. If this was death then, unafraid, I was happy to accept it. I no longer felt the throbbing ache of my head, the nausea or the terrible sorrow of my heart. I slowed my breathing right down, as I had been taught, becoming the stillness. Everything around me melted away and as I drifted further into the darkness that called to me I knew only peace and nothing more.

End of book 2.

The Wrong Side of Right 11

2007-04-30T08:50:00.000+02:00

The Sigiri came out of hyperspace shuddering violently. I woke from my doze disoriented and confused. I had been dreaming but the images in my head made no sense to me. For a second I had no idea where I was and then everything came flooding back. The emptiness I felt in the pit of my gut was so physically painful that I had to fight the urge to throw up. I would have cried if there had been time but alarms were screaming at me. My sorrow could wait and I shoved it deep down inside of me.

The Sigiri’s engines had over heated and there had been more damage done by the shock wave from the Death Star’s explosion than I had thought. I wasn’t sure if I could fix it but I was pretty sure I could nurse the hyperdrive until I reached a safe place to set down and get repairs. I patched up the engine as much as I could then I consulted the star charts to see where I was, grateful the nav system was functioning properly.

I had flown quite far and according to the charts I was somewhere out on the edge of the Mid Rim past a planet called Rakata Prime. I didn’t know much about this planet and there was very little in the database so I made the decision to avoid it. I had no desire to find myself on a rebel friendly planet in an Imperial shuttle. I sighed as I ran through the data-base looking for Imperial friendly planets and found a name I knew. Nirauan.

I sat back in the pilot’s chair with a sigh. Thrawn, I thought. He had told me about this planet, he had built a secret base of operations on it. I wondered where he was and if news of what had happened had already made its way out to the Unknown Regions. I had tried to contact any Imperial ships who would have been close on the emergency frequency but there was nothing but static. Long range communications in that region of space were unreliable because the HoloNet system was not fully set up so far away from the core. I punched the coordinates to Nirauan into the nav computer and prayed the engines would hold until I got there.

I was truly tired but I couldn’t sleep. I should have tried but every time I closed me eyes all I saw was the Executor as it crashed into the Death Star and the sensation of being torn apart from the inside out as Lord Vader had died. I couldn’t bear it so I buried it and spent much of my time in the engine room babysitting the engine and the hyperdrive. I was grateful for the small mercy that I was at least on a ship I knew well and had spent many hours in. I forced myself to think rationally and concentrate on what I would tell Thrawn when I finally found him. I wasn’t sure he would be at the base on Nirauan but I had to try. It never even occurred to me to go back to Coruscant or to make contact with any of the other ships in the fleet. I had been so torn apart by the Emperor’s planned betrayal of Lord Vader that I had not thought about anything else. When the hyperdrive alarm peeped to let me know I was entering normal space I was curled up on the engine room floor, numb and exhausted.

Nirauan was a small arboreal planet, the second of three, which orbited a weak red star. Thrawn had spoken of its strange terrain, beautiful vegetation and natural lakes. The base itself had been built over an existing structure and vaguely resembled an outstretched hand. They call it the hand of Thrawn, he had said jokingly as he told me about some of the people who he had stationed there. As I approached the planet I broadcast my Imperial security clearance codes on the Imperial emergency channel. It did not take long to get a reply. I was asked for more identification and I gave it, after a moment’s pause I was given landing instructions. I followed them to the letter not wishing to make what I was sure would be a difficult meeting any harder.

As I styled the shuttle to land I could see why the place had been nicknamed the Hand of Thrawn, there were five towers which reached up out of the base. It did, from a certain angle, resemble like a hand. All they needed to do to make it perfect, I thought wryly, was paint it blue.

Once the Sigiri had touched down, her engines shut off and the boarding ramp lowered I gathered my courage and went to meet who ever was waiting for me. I was shocked to see a friendly face and even more so to see no armed guards or angry troopers waiting for me.

“Miss Gabriel? This is a pleasant surprise, did Lord Vader send you?” Voss Parck stepped forward to meet me, motioning the two Chiss at his side to relax. His smile was genuine but he could not hide the puzzlement he felt.

“Commander Parck….” I began but suddenly lost the ability to speak. Emotion swept through me like blast fire and I had to cover my mouth to stop the sob that threatened to spill out. I fought to calm myself and stay steady on my feet.

“Are you okay? You are as white as a snow lilly.” He asked taking me gently by the arm and leading me out of the landing bay into the facility itself.

I shook my head. “No, no not really.”

“Your shuttle shows signs of damage, there’s a lot of carbon scoring, were you in a fight, some sort of skirmish or an ambush?”

“Endor.” I whispered.

He gave me a quizzical look and a slight shake of his head. “Endor?”

“Have you not heard?” I couldn’t believe that he did not know.

He shook his head. “There has been no news from the Core for the last twenty-six hours, apparently the Holonet is having technical difficulties. We have been in a long range comm blackout and the secondary channels are all silent. Has something happened?”

I choked back a strange urge to giggle and glanced at the two Chiss who eyed me with suspicion. “I think we had better speak in private.” I said.

He did not argue against it and led me to a small meeting room, his hand on the small of my back. His familiarity was comforting despite being a breech of decorum. I sat down hard on the nearest chair, grateful for the solidity of the conference table. With my elbows on the table I buried my face in my hands. Park turned to the two Chiss and asked them to leave. One of them went to argue but Park held up his hand. “Miss Gabriel is Lord Vader’s personal assistant. Grand Admiral Thrawn trusts her, so should you. Please wait outside.”

They didn’t like it but they did as they were asked.

“Now,” He said, “First things first, you look awful can I get you something to drink, to eat?”

I shook my head and drew a deep breath. “Where’s Thrawn?” I asked, getting to the point.

Parck shook his head. “We don’t exactly know. He goes out into the Unknown Regions and he’s out of contact range. We are still trying to establish solid Holonet links but there are pirates and traders, as well as several alien species that disapprove of this technology have a tendency to destroy the emitters. Communications at long range out here are difficult. The Admiral generally goes out for two months and unless there is a serious emergency we don’t hear from him until he returns.” He said. “Miss Gabriel, if I may ask, what is going on? Why are you here?”

I drew a deep steadying breath and said, “They’re dead, Voss.”

He stared at me blankly, not understanding.

“The Emperor and Lord Vader, they are both dead. The Executor was destroyed. It crashed into the battle station.” I was amazed at how steady my voice sounded while I told him the news.

He paled visibly and sat down in the chair beside me. He leaned towards me, his face hard and angry. “If this is a joke, it’s in very poor taste.” He said.

Tears welled up in my eyes and I had to fight from breaking down. “Joke?” I asked, now my voice did tremble. “You think I flew all the way out here in a damaged shuttle to joke with you about this?”

“Forgive me, but this news, it’s difficult to believe.”

I just nodded, blinked away the tears. “I know. I was there, I saw it with my own eyes and I still don’t believe it. Download the Sigiri’s logs; you’ll see it to be true.”

“The Emperor is dead? How do you know, did you see him die?” He was still trying to process the unthinkable.

I shook my head. “I felt it. His presence in the force vanished, violently. It was the same for Lord Vader…when he died... they are both dead. They were on the battle station when it exploded. There was no way anyone could have survived that.”

“The battle Station? The new battle station? It was destroyed? How is that possible?” He ran a hand through his hair, visibly distraught by the news.

“The Emperor laid a plan to trap the rebels and destroy them by feeding them the technical data to the battle station, he hoped to lure them to Endor and wipe them all out but something went wrong…,” I stopped to steady myself. “Something went dreadfully wrong.” I hid my trembling hands under the table.

“What happened?” He asked gently.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I have no idea.” I said. “I was not on the Executor or the battle station at the time, I had been doing a…a job for the Emperor and I was on the Sanctuary Moon, waiting.” I didn’t think he needed to know the whole story. I wondered if he would even believe it if I were to tell him. “By the time I was in the air to return to the Executor all hell had broken loose. I was about half way to the station when I saw the flag ship plunge into it. After that word came down to clear the area because it was about to blow up. The Sigiri was caught in the shockwave when the death star blew. I didn’t stick around to be captured by rebels; I just got the hell out of there. I don’t know what happened to the fleet or anything. I don’t know any more than this, the Emperor is gone, everything has changed.” The words caught like hooks in my throat and I clenched my teeth tightly to the sob that wanted to escape from doing so.

“I just don't know how to believe this, I don't know what to do, …I ….”

I looked up at him so sharply he stopped mid sentence. “The Emperor is dead and so is Lord Vader. Nothing, no one could have survived that explosion.” I said. “I have to tell him, I have to tell Thrawn! He’s the only one who can sort this out; he’s the only one who can make sense of it!” I could feel the hysteria rising in my voice and fought hard to back it down.

Parck leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest. “The only way to get a message to him is to go to a rendezvous point where they will still be within standard long range comm distance, drop a booster beacon and wait for them to hear the signal.”

“Give me the coordinates. I’ll find him.” I said firmly. I had it in my head that Thrawn could fix this terrible mess and I was not going to be dissuaded from this. That perhaps Sate Pestage, who was technically now in charge of the Empire, would have a back up plan for just this scenario had not even occurred to me.

He gave me a thin smile. “Merlyn, you look as though you are running on vapours, your shuttle is badly damaged and you are in no shape to go anywhere….”

I waved my hand at him and stopped him from speaking. “There is no one else who can tell him what I know. I have to find him and every minute I sit here talking about it is a minute wasted that the rebels gain. Thrawn has to know, I need to find him. Please, Voss, you know I am right.” I could have pushed with the force but I didn’t, I didn’t need to. He could see by my expression that I would not back down. I didn't give him time to reconsider either. “Please....”

I knew he wasn’t happy but that he had no counter argument. I had won. “Okay, but you will take a different shuttle, one that isn’t damaged, with an escort.”

I shook my head. “No, no escort. I do this on my own. I’ll accept a different shuttle, that way if there are rebels out here and I get caught I can lie about who I am, say that I stole the ship to escape. I won’t compromise your work out here and an escort of Imperial pilots will do exactly that. It would raise too many questions if I were to get caught. This place needs to stay a secret. You need to trust me, I am a good pilot and I know what I am doing. I won’t risk anyone else’s life for this, there has been far too much death already!”

He didn’t like this but he wasn’t going to argue either. If the news I had told him was correct, then I was right and Thrawn had to know but the secrecy of this base had to be maintained.

“Well, I guess we should get ready then but I insist you get a decent meal and at least an hour’s rest. It will take that long to prep a ship and copy over the data from the Sigiri. One hour will not make much of a difference now.” I knew from the tone of his voice that he would not budge on this so I nodded, oddly grateful.

He got up and opened the door, spoke to one of the Chiss guards and then motioned for me to follow. “Kshar will show you to guest quarters, I’ll have the quarter master send you clean clothes, and toiletries. I’ll arrange a wake up call in an hour and then you and I will share a warm meal.”

I wanted to throw my arms around him then and hug him for his open kindness and for taking me seriously. Instead I just nodded and followed the Chiss Parck had called Kshar. It was a short silent walk and the small guest area was sparse but serviceable. I thanked Kshar in basic, not wanting to give it away that I spoke his native tongue. A few moments later a knock at the door told me the clothes and toiletries Parck had promised were delivered. I took the pile gratefully and then locked the door. I lay down on the bed and let go of the breath I had been holding for what seemed like forever. I didn’t think I would sleep, but I did. An hour later a knock on the door woke me up.

Showered and wearing clean, unmarked coveralls, I sat at the table in the small Officer’s mess eating the first warm meal I had in ages. I had no idea what I was eating but it was filling and hot. As I soon as I had finished my meal, Parck explained how their communications system worked, showed me on a small data pad where I was heading and the codes I would need to activate the enhancement beacon.

“It’s a very bad area of space though, I would feel better if you were not going alone.” He said as he handed me the datapad. “We have had trouble with hit and run attacks from unknowns.”

I shook my head. “You know I’m right. I stand a better chance on my own.” I did not want to have to worry about someone else. I did not want to be responsible for anyone else. I needed to do this alone. “Did you get the data off the Sigiri?”

He nodded. “Yes, and just so you know, your hyperdrive motivator is shot among many other things, it’s a miracle you made it here alive. The gods must smile on you, I think.”

I wasn’t so sure about any smiling gods that but I wasn’t going to argue with him. “Did you read through the data?”

His business like expression changed to one of sorrow. “Yes. We are trying to establish communications with the Core now, to see how bad things really are but I suspect that who ever was left in charge initiated a total HoloNet lock down and placed Coruscant under martial law until some of this mess can be sorted out. I hope we’ll know more in the next forty eight hours or so.”

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “This is such a terrible mess.”

“Well, if anyone can sort it all out the Grand Admiral can.” He said optimistically. “I’ve had the crews ready a lambda class shuttle called the Aeolian. She’s a solid little ship, used to be an ambassadorial shuttle so she’s more comfortable than the transport shuttles but Thrawn had all the older ships’ weapons upgraded, as well as their nav systems and star charts. She may look like an old girl but she’s feistier than she appears. She’s also unmarked and has a set of fake ident markers if you need to run under the radar, so to speak. The chief mechanic assures me she is in excellent running condition.”

“I need to get a few things off my ship and then, if everything is set, I will leave.” I said getting up. Time was running out, I felt it even though the unimaginable had already happened. I needed to find Thrawn.

Parck nodded. “I’ve had the quartermaster stock the Aeolian fully and added couple of changes of clothes for you; I don’t know how long it will take the Grand Admiral to respond to the signal, could be anywhere from an hour to three days so I thought it best to be prepared. Come on, I’ll escort you.”

On impulse, before he could open the door, I leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

He blushed furiously. “I think you just did. I just hope that I haven’t signed your death warrant by letting you do this.” He said a little gruffly. He had deep misgivings about letting me go on my own and there was no way for me to alleviate them. I wasn’t sure that he was wrong either but the drive to tell Thrawn was stronger than my common sense and I was far from thinking clearly.

The Aeolian had seen better days but Parck was as good as his word and she was a solid ship that had been well taken care of. I took my tool kit and my satchel off the Sigiri, when I had flown from the Executor I had not exactly planned on what had happened next so I didn’t have much in the way of belongings on board her.

“Take good care of my shuttle!” I said to Parck as I turned to board the Aeolian, “She saved my life.”

“I will see to it myself.” He said. “You have all you need? All the data and codes? How to activate the signal booster beacon? And you know what to do if you need help from me or you run into trouble?”

I nodded to each of his questions feeling a little like a kid heading out on her first trip alone. “Voss, I’ll be fine. I’ll find him and tell him what has happened and he’ll come back and fix this mess. It will be fine.” I spoke the words calmly but on the inside I wasn’t so sure. What had happened at Endor had shaken me to the core and what I was about to do made the hair on the back of my neck prickle and stand on end.

“I don’t have to tell you I don’t like this one bit. The area of space you are heading into is known to be a hunting ground for scavengers and pirates.” He frowned. “If anything happens to you Thrawn will have my hide.” He said almost whispering. The worry in his voice spilled out into his features. “He’s not a man to speak of his private life but I know him well enough to understand you are someone precious to him. I do not want to be the one who let you go to your death.”

I nodded. “Well, I will just have to make sure nothing bad happens then.” I said more firmly, more confidently than I actually felt. “A little trust, Commander.” I said. Thrawn’s words not mine and I didn’t really believe them but I didn’t know what else to say. Parck nodded and I knew he had also heard these words before. I turned to leave.

“Good luck, Miss Gabriel.” He said softly. I turned around and looked back at him. I nodded and then shivered as Navaari's words echoed through my mind. It is bad luck to look back.

The Wrong Side of Right 10

2007-04-26T09:34:00.000+02:00

The shuttle came down on the small landing pad with a rough bump. The officer at the helm did not have an easy touch with her. I sighed as I watched him shut the engine down and then add a landing lock code on the consol computer. It made me smile a little, Jyrki had taught me all about basic locking codes and the one the Imperials generally used were simple to undo.

I unbuckled myself from the seat and stood up, pushing the blaster that the pinch faced officer still held to my head away from my face with the back of my hand.

“Relax; I am not going any where.” I said coldly. I augmented this with a not so subtle force suggestion that he might want to put the gun away before it blew up in his face. It seemed to work and he holstered the weapon slowly, as if in a dream.

“How long do you intend to keep me here?” I asked calmly.

“Until my orders state other wise, little girl.” He spat. He wasn’t happy about being on guard duty.

“Well then, can I at least get something to drink?” I asked, ignoring his insult. “I’m not going anyplace and you have the gun.”

The man looked at his companion, who simply shrugged. “She’s just a girl what can she do, like she said, Sijac, you’re the one with the blaster.” He said and unbuckled the straps as he got up from the pilot’s seat. “I could use a drink myself.” He added glaring at me, “Babysitting is thirsty work.”

We left the cockpit and made for the small galley. On the way I feigned nausea and begged to open the main ramp for fresh air. I planted a subtle suggestion in both men’s minds that being covered in my vomit would not make the Emperor happy. Fifteen minutes later, a cup of tea in hand I sat on the bottom of the Sigiri’s ramp watching the sky above. The guard named Sijac was pacing restlessly on the ground in front of me. He did not like waiting and he was unhappy with this particular assignment. The other, whose name was Egann, was calmer, more stoic and like me had taken a seat to drink his tea.

I sat with my hands cupped around the mug staring out at the view. This moon was lush and green, beautiful in an untouched sort of way. It was completely different to my own home world but there was something oddly familiar, as though I had been here before. As I tried to understand why this was, I suddenly had to fight from choking on the mouthful of tea I had taken as I gasped in surprise. I had felt a tremor in the force, a very subtle shifting of power. It rippled about the galaxy the way wind plays with a gauzy curtain and felt for all the world like a cold caress on the back of my neck. I shivered and wished I could see what was happening above the moon on the space station. What ever it was it didn’t feel good.

The beta site was several kilometres away from the alpha post and was little more than a small secondary landing site with an automated monitoring station. We had landed on the further most landing pad, on top of a small hill which allowed me to look over the valley below. There wasn’t much to see, except forest and over in the distance the generator dish that kept the Battle station’s shield in place. I could hear scattered shots of blaster fire off in the distance. The fighting had begun. I sighed as I stood up. The sensation that I had been here before nagged at the edge of my mind and I couldn’t shake it but I could not place it either.

“There is supposed to be a big space battle, do you mind if I turn on the comm to hear the chatter?” I asked.

Neither men objected, nor, as I had hoped did they follow me into the shuttle. I was reasonably sure that Egann, the one who had piloted us down and put the lock code on the console had no idea of my pilot and slicer skills. He wasn’t worried about me trying to take off without them because he was certain I couldn’t. It made me smile when people underestimated me.

Once in the cockpit I dug out my satchel from under the pilot’s seat and slung it over my shoulder. I also took a few minutes to get a look at what kind of land lock I was dealing with. I smiled at the simplicity of it but left it in place. I didn’t want to give either of the two men a reason to distrust me or want to either lock me up in a cabin or secure me somehow. Undoing Egann’s work would take only a few minutes once I had dealt with the two of them. I turned on the comm to listen to the chatter, loud enough that the two officers could hear it from outside. There was surprisingly little being said. It was as if the entire fleet were holding its breath waiting for a signal, the Emperor’s signal. His plan was to give the rebels enough rope to hang themselves then pull the noose even tighter laughing as he did so.

I desperately wanted to reach Lord Vader but even calm and clear headed I could not break through his silence. He knew I was there, reaching out to him but he was busy, his mind was elsewhere. There was nothing else to do except wait. I just did not know what I was waiting for. After a few minutes I went back outside, with the wrap slung about my shoulders my satchel was hidden. Both men glanced at me, they were bored, if they noticed anything different about me they didn’t mark it as unusual.

I went back to sitting on the ramp.

“So, you hear anything?” Egann asked.

I shook my head. “The comm is quiet. I guess the Emperor ordered radio silence.” I replied.

“Gonna be a slaughter for the rebs!” Sijac snorted. “Good thing too!”

I simply nodded. Each death was like a pinprick on my soul, I was glad I wasn’t close enough to feel it or see it happen. Our heads turned when blaster fire sounded closer now. I could hear shouting and the sounds of AT STs and AT ATs tromping about the forest below. There were screams not all of them human. I shivered and pulled my wrap closer about my shoulders.

In my lessons with Master Kjestyll we had often discussed fighting and battle techniques. One of the questions that had been first and foremost on my mind was timing. How did one know when the time was right to strike? I had asked.

“Some people never know, they do not tend to live long.” He had replied, “But others, like you have an instinct. You listen to your inner voice and you simply know. It is a moment when everything aligns and you see the path before you clearly, you see the moment to act. It is then you either do or do not. In that singular point in time and space all is decided, life or death. You will know.” He had reassured, then added with a sly grin, “Or you will die. Either way, the choice is made and the outcome known. It is the waiting that drives men mad.”

I didn’t mind the waiting part as much as I probably should have. I had refilled my cup on the way out the shuttle and for all appearances seemed calm, content to sit and sip tea while all around us a battle waged. It was very surreal. I knew that Egann did not mind being here with me too much, but his companion, who was impatient and angry, itched to be in the thick of things and resented the task he had been given of watching over a stupid girl. I ignored him and spoke to Egann instead, engaging him in light conversation, asking about his life. Most people are only too happy to talk about themselves and he was no exception. In the half an hour that we sat there I learned he had a wife and two daughters. That he enjoyed his job and was content to make his way slowly through the ranks until he retired. He had trained as a TIE pilot but his eyesight was not perfect and so he had been placed elsewhere.

Through him and Sijac’s interruptions I learned enough to know who I needed to take out first now all I needed was the perfect moment in time. It came when the shield generator blew up, the explosion rocking the ground around us. None of us had been expecting this but I took advantage of it and slipped my lightsaber from my satchel. I would only get one chance so it had to be perfect. As the fighting in the distance drew closer, both of the men, sent to watch over me, forgot I was there and had turned their attentions to the forest.

“We should go down and see what’s going on!” Sijac said.

“And do what?” Egann had asked.

I got up quietly and walked to where they stood, at the edge of the landing pad trying to se the battle below. They didn’t notice me move, Master Kjestyll had trained me well. I struck Sijac first, hitting him hard at the base of the skull with the butt of my lightsaber. I heard bone crack and I wasn’t sure if I had actually killed him but I didn’t have time to see because Egann had turned around, whipped out his blaster and had it trained on me. What stopped him from simply shooting first and asking questions later I will never know, but in that split second hesitation he had lost. In the seconds between his hesitation and then action, I ignited the lightsaber and deflected the blaster bolt that came at me back to him without even thinking about it. It hit him squarely on the right shoulder and he went down in agony. It was almost too easy. I stood over him and put my foot on his chest.

“You have a family; do you think they want to see you dead?” I asked as I pointed the lightsaber’s tip near Egann’s throat. He gritted his teeth against the pain of the blaster burn and shook his head. He didn’t need to be told to toss away his gun.

“I’m leaving now.” I told Egann. “I expect that eventually someone will find you both or you can go and get help, but the rebels blew up the Death Star’s shield generator so some part of the plan to trap them has gone very wrong. If I were you I’d start thinking up a story, one that uses the word rebel rather than little girl.”

“Who are you?” Egann asked.

I just smiled. “Lord Vader’s personal assistant.”

He gave me a look of utter disbelief and grunted in pain. The blaster burn to his shoulder was bad but not life threatening. I reached over and, as my uncle had once shown me, put pressure on a certain spot on his neck.

“Wha…?” Egann began but his eyes rolled backwards into his head before he could ask his question and he lost consciousness. I reasoned it was better to have him unconcious than to leave him lying in pain and this way I didn’t have to worry about him trying to stop me while I undid his handy work.

I bent down to Sijac’s side and touched my fingers to his neck, there was a pulse. Some small part of me was grateful I had not killed but another part of me, the part that was still angry and wanted revenge, wasn’t. I didn’t need to kill, I just needed to get away.

I went inside the Sigiri, hitting the ramp switch to close and made my way to the cockpit. If Egann had thought his lock out would stop me he was wrong. In a matter of moments I had helm control and as the engines began to whine in warm up I strapped myself in. Though it only took a few minutes before I was lifting the shuttle off the landing pad, it felt like an eternity. I flew away from where the bulk of the fighting seemed to be taking place and set the ship’s shields to maximum. The last thing I wanted was to be blown out of the sky by stray fire, enemy or friendly. I set course for the Death Star.

Darth Vader had to be warned about the Emperor’s treachery and since I could not reach him through our usual, unconventional communication channels I would go the conventional route and show up in person.

As I began to clear the moon’s surface, sweeping low over the beta command post I could see the flashes of battle being fought on the ground below. I set my system and adjusted the instrument panel so that I could see the battle which h was being waged in the space above me as well. It was strangely contained. The rebellion had moved in close to where the fleet was stationed and the dog fighting was tight between x-wings and TIEs. I frowned when I realised that none of the command ships were firing at all but when a sudden burst of brilliant green light shot from the battle station I understood why. They did not need to fire their weapons; the Death Star would do that for them. I was still too far away to see any live details, but the blips of light that vanished on my screen as ships exploded caught my breath and made me queasy.

Despite her fast engines and all my extra tinkering, no prayers or wishing would make the Sigiri faster than she was, trying gain altitude and break from the clutches of the moon’s gravitational pull. She rattled and shook as she flew through the upper atmosphere and only when a sudden silence engulfed me did I know that I was flying free in space. When I saw the battle and how uneven it was, even from as far away as I was, I gasped. The Emperor’s plan was a bold one and I shivered involuntarily. He had not meant to simply beat the rebellion at their own game he meant to wipe them all out. I caught my breath and fought to stay calm. I needed to reach Lord Vader and warn him. I opened my self up to the force, feeling its strange warmth flow through me, around me and in its wake I felt Lord Vader’s presence, mingled with that of the Emperor’s and a third touch which I could only assume was Luke Skywalker’s. It was a strange thing to feel their presence and know that up on that terrible unfinished ball of destruction someone’s life hung in the balance. I mentally called to Lord Vader but either I was just too far away to be heard or he was deliberately blocking me.

All around I felt conflict and agony. As I drew closer I began to see the shape of things and I felt that shift in the force again, this time not so subtle. I also felt surprise ripple through me but the surprise was not my own. I didn’t understand it but I knew urgency when I felt it and cursed the fact that no matter how hard I pushed her, the Sigiri was not going to be any faster.

It has been said that a single misstep can change the fate of a man from fortuitous to disastrous and so it was in this instance. Even though I did not see what happened, I sensed it. A great wave of sorrow washed over me and something else, anger hatred and a sudden release of fear. There was an astonishing shift in power as though a great spring which had been pushed as tightly as it could go had suddenly snapped back shattering everything in its path as it did so. Something in the force broke. I clutched at my chest and gasped at the pain of it, an invisible shockwave spun out all around us with the battle station at its epicentre. Something had happened, something in the force had shattered, something that would change the face of the Empire forever. The terrible ever present power of the Emperor had suddenly vanished.

I had to force myself to take a deep breath, willing my nerves to be steady. Even at my ship's top speed I was too far away from the battle station to make any difference so when the Executor plunged into the battle station I was dumbfounded by the sight of it. Still heading toward the Death Star some part of my shocked brain registered what I was seeing and I changed course. At that very moment I felt a presence touch my mind.

Lord Vader. I whispered both out loud and in my head.

I had never felt him so strongly before and something had changed. There was no more anger.

Go! He said telepathically. Go now!

My Lord, it’s a trap… the Emperor…

Too late for warnings now, girl. His words echoed in my head, sounding strange almost calm.

My lord, I can help, I am coming!

I felt his smile even from such a distance, I felt it. I release you from my service, Merlyn Gabriel; now go before you also die here, go! His voice in my head was full of peace but before I could say anything back to him I felt him sever the tie that had bound us for over four years.

I felt his life force ebb and then vanish. In that moment I understood he was dead but I could not comprehend it. There was a terrible tearing of my soul, a physical pain that hurt as nothing else ever had. I know I screamed in denial but my voice was drowned as the comm channel exploded with frantic voices screaming that the battle station was about to explode. Rebels and Imperials alike scrambled to clear the immediate area and I was no exception.

I swung the shuttle around, heading away from the Death Star so that when it blew up I was mostly ready for it and half the calculations for a hyperspace jump had already been computed. The blast and the light from the explosion were beyond anything I had ever seen, but I didn’t feel that. What I felt was death, the Emperor’s, Lord Vader’s and a part of my soul. The Sigiri lurched and rocked violently, if I had not been strapped in, I would have been flung across the cockpit. My instrument panel went wild and alarms screamed at me. Years of training took over and I numbly went through the motions to fix the problems and sort out the damage the explosion’s shock wave had done to my ship. As fast as I could, I got out of the planet’s gravity well and hit the hyperspace jump switch. I had no idea where I was headed I only knew I had to leave.

Go! Lord Vader had said. It was the last order he would ever give me and because there was nothing else for me to do, I obeyed him one final time.

The Wrong Side of Right 9

2007-04-22T19:08:00.000+02:00

The room, although huge felt claustrophobic to me. I shivered. I knew or felt that Lord Vader had been here recently. I opened up my senses and searched for him but all that lingered was a vague ripple of his presence along with someone else and nothing more. I took a deep, steadying breath and walked from the turbo lift to where the stairs which led up to where the Emperor was seated. His throne was very much like the one he had in the Imperial palace and it seemed to swallow him whole.

“Yes, my apprentice was here, child. I see your talents are growing stronger.” He murmured but his voice sounded too loud in the darkness. I tried to shut out the sensation of spiders crawling across my brain but I couldn’t. He was far too powerful for that. I shivered and surrendered to his force touch. When I reached the bottom of the steps I genuflected and bowed my head, waiting for his permission to move, to look up. I felt rather than saw his smile. He let me wait for what seemed a very long time before he told me to rise.

“You wished to see me your Excellency?” I asked as I stood, my voice sounded small and child like in the vast room.

“Yes.” He said. “So tell me, what do you think of this new battle station?”

I shifted my stance and placed my hands behind my back. “It’s very … big, your Highness.”

He laughed. He actually threw back his head and laughed. I shuddered. “Yes, child it is, but that is merely a description of how it looks, I asked you what you thought of it.”

“I don’t know what to think.” I told him quietly. “It’s designed for massive amounts of destruction. It could annihilate a planet in the blink of an eye. It scares me to death. That’s how I feel about it.” I was angry without any real reason. This room, this place was making me edgy and nervous.

“And so it should, child.” He said satisfied. “Come, I wish you to see this.” His hand waved at me to come forward. As if pulled by some invisible rope I climbed the steps until I was standing near him, near the throne.

“Look out of the window what do you see?” He asked, waving his hand vaguely in the direction of the large viewport.

I did as he asked. “The fleet, stars…space.” I said. “But people are going to die out there aren’t they?”

He nodded and sat back against the throne, melding once more into the shadows. “You have witnessed space battles before have you not?” He asked.

I turned to look at him, the cowl of his cloak hid most of his face but his eyes seemed to glow with a light of their own. They frightened me. “I have, Excellency.”

“And you feel them do you not? You feel the deaths?”

I swallowed and nodded.

“Lord Vader should have taken better care with you.” He said softly, “For that matter, perhaps so should I. You have many talents you have kept well hidden from us, from me.”

I looked away. I wondered how much deeper he would dig into my soul. You have a strong, stubborn will which amuses my master but make no mistake you will be broken and then you will be his obedient and compliant servant. And what is more, you will be powerless to stop it from happening. Lord Vader’s words echoed through my mind. I wondered what it was the Emperor wanted of me but now I was scared to ask. I used the quiet moments to find my center, to breathe and find strength.

“Come closer child.” He beckoned. I did as he asked and came to stand before him.

“Sit.” He said, motioning to the space on the floor at his feet.

I moved as though in a dream, doing as he commanded without thinking about it. I sank to the cold stone floor, one knee tucked under the other which was pressed close to my chest. Without even realising it I was echoing the position of the little statue he had allowed me to see. I watched as he pushed a button on the armrest of his throne, a small compartment opened up and he withdrew something from it. In the dim light I saw the glint of silver, a slender cylindrical object. I knew what it was right away and I looked up at him puzzled, I had already read a lightsaber for him once and I couldn’t tell if this was the same one as before.

“You did so well with the last one Lord Vader brought me…,” The Emperor purred as his fingertips caressed the lightsaber as though he were stroking a kitten, “I thought I would share this one with you as well.”

I could feel my pulse quicken and the knot in my gut tighten as fear shot through me. I knew without asking what he wanted just as I knew this was not the same weapon he had handed me after Bespin on Wayland, deep in the mountain complex. I held my breath without realising it. When he leaned forward to hand it to me, I hesitated, shrinking back from him. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a flash of red, a Royal Guardsman had shifted ever so slightly ready to make certain that I obeyed. Palpatine made an almost imperceptible gesture with his free hand and the guard sank back into the shadows.

“The young lady knows her place; she will do as she is told.” The Emperor said in a quiet voice as hard as durasteel.

I shut my eyes tightly for a second, drew a deep breath then looked up into his face. I had been trained to get past this fear, Master Kjestyll’s words echoed in my head almost as if he were at my side. I gave a slight nod and the Emperor’s eyes seemed to glow. I did not like what I saw in the expression on his face, glee, satisfaction, and triumph. It reminded me so sharply of Venthan Chassu’s last painting that I had to look twice at the throne to make sure it was not made from bones.

“No disobedience, child. You work for me.” His reprimand was sharp edged and left a bitter taste in my mouth.

When I reached out to him my fingers were trembling visibly. With a soft chuckle he placed the weapon into my outstretched hand.

“Tell me what you see,” He commanded, “As you see it. I know you can do this now. Do not hold anything back as you did the last time.”

I bit my lip. How he had known I had not spoken of every detail was beyond me. I was certain the Emperor could not read minds but he always seemed to know, his ability to read people was uncanny. I nodded and held the lightsaber in both hands tightly, opening myself up to its memories.

At first I wasn’t sure what to think. These memories were new, just like the weapon. I watched them unfold, like the way Thrawn undressed me, slowly, carefully, bit by bit. I watched as Luke put the weapon together, and then as he tried it out, feeling his trepidation then triumph and relief. I saw as he made his plans to get back his friend, to rescue Han Solo, slipping the weapon into the little R2 unit. The memories jolt forward to a battle on Jabba’s sail barge. Jumbled, chaotic. I saw flashes of imagery, Boba Fett falling into the pit of Carkoon. I know I gasped out loud. Boba Fett was part of my life and being fed to the Sarlacc was one of Jabba’s favourite punishments but Fett’s fall was an accident. I gasped for breath as the fight continued until the sail barge was destroyed taking Jabba with it. After that were only snippets, faces and a space journey to a planet I had never seen before. There was a terrible sense of sorrow then. Luke had lost someone he had loved and admired but I couldn’t tell who it was. I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks as I spoke of what I was seeing out loud to the Emperor. He was right, I had learned some measure of control and despite the overwhelming sensations that accompanied the memories I could describe them almost as they unfolded in my mind. It was like describing a holo-drama to a blind man.

I saw the journey to Endor, vague flashes mostly of fear of getting caught, worry about his friends. Something in Luke had changed from brash young boy to thoughtful young man, bound and determined to right a wrong. He knew that Lord Vader was his father and had accepted it, more or less. He had also known that Lord Vader had sensed his presence. I’m endangering the mission, he had said, I shouldn’t have come… but he had come anyway because he believed he could turn his father back towards the light, that somewhere deep inside Lord Vader’s soul there was still good, and because it was his destiny which he could no more back away from it than I could let go of his lightsaber. I took a breath and gathered my thoughts trying to sort out the jumble in my mind. What happened next was confusing, small furry creatures, the Ewoks, had taken them hostage. The images were unclear because Luke’s own mind had been on something else, something more serious, more frightening, confronting Darth Vader. I felt it, the moment Luke decided to give himself up and perhaps save his friends. His naïveté and his arrogance were astonishing to me. Even as I said this out loud I heard the Emperor’s soft reply.

“That was the failing of all the Jedi.” He said. “What else do you see?”

Lord Vader had known. He had felt Luke’s presence and there had been no surprise when the young man had shown up, turning himself into the guard at the Alpha base on the Sanctuary Moon. For the first time Father and son faced each other in a quiet sort of calm. When the guard had handed Lord Vader Luke’s lightsaber I felt the flash of pride as sharply as though I had been struck across the face. Your skills are complete, you are as powerful as the Emperor has foreseen… Lord Vader had said when he had ignited the weapon. It shone with a brilliant green light. For a moment the two men regarded one another, Luke looking for the good in the man he stood before, the father he had never known but had yearned for and Lord Vader contemplating the past, watching, his own emotions in turmoil, as the guards had taken Luke away for the final confrontation. Dawn was slowly beginning to break. For a few moments Lord Vader was torn and then he moved, ready to present his son to the Emperor on the Death Star. His loyalties decided, his path chosen, his downfall complete.

I sat on the floor, my breathing coming to me in short gasps, the lightsaber still clasped in both of my hands. I looked up at the Emperor to tell him I was done when suddenly a new set of memories flashed through me making me whimper. Lord Vader had passed Luke’s weapon to the Emperor. I had not expected to see this and what came next shook me to the core. I did not speak the memories that came to me, short and crystal clear. When they were finished I trembled violently but not out of fear, out of anger.

I scrambled to my feet suddenly. I felt the Royal Guardsmen move, a subtle shift in stance. I had a weapon in my hands and I was unpredictable. The Emperor laughed softly. He knew exactly what I had seen; he knew because this was what he had truly wanted me to see. I backed away from him, my knuckles white from gripping Luke’s lightsaber so hard.

“Yes.” He said, nodding. The word came out as a long slow hissing caress.

“How could you?” I asked so quietly I wasn’t sure I had spoken the words out loud.

“It is the way of things, young Merlyn, surely you must understand that.” He explained to me the way a father would explain to a small child that fire burns.

“You can’t…! Not after all he has done for you; after all you have done to him!” I shouted. The guards behind me tensed, shifted their stance and readied their weapons.

The Emperor laughed. “Anakin Skywalker would have been the most powerful sith in the galaxy had he not let his pride, his fury better him. He lost power when he lost his limbs, he is imperfect.” Palpatine hissed, leaning forward to emphasise his words. “His son is stronger, almost whole and primed to take his father’s place. Lord Vader knows this to be true.”

That was a lie. Lord Vader did not expect this betrayal. Lord Vader thought the object of this game was to turn Luke so that he might serve them both. Vader had no idea that the Emperor was planning to replace him.

“No!” I screamed defiant, angry. This was so unfair that I had no words to express what I felt.

Palpatine sat back in his throne and laughed. “Now you see the way of things, little one. Oh I have such plans for you.” His voice was a sigh, “Your talents make you valuable, your gift of psychometry is so rare. Honed to perfection, what a weapon you will be, reader of things, keeper of secrets….”

“I will never work for you, ever!” I spat out defiantly.

The Emperor chuckled softly. “Oh I think that you will. I think that you would not want to see your adoptive family hurt because you refuse to do as I ask.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “You leave my family alone they have done nothing to you!”

His hand waved in a dismissive manner. “On the contrary my dear, shall I reveal your father’s controversial smuggler’s past to you? Tell you of some of his less appealing qualities? He should have been arrested and executed long ago for the crimes he has committed and continues to commit against this Empire. And do not think I do not know about the Tze’yusha’Jin Akosh, his actions during the clone wars alone merit my wrath. If you wish to protect them you will serve me.”

“So you use my love for my family just as you used Vader’s love for Padmé.” My voice was low and cold. Hatred for this man who sat before me coursed through my veins.

“Vader’s passion made him easily pliable but he has become old, useless to me. He defies me to suit his own needs. His son will replace him as my apprentice and stand at my side as I bring order to this galaxy and crush this ridiculous rebellion once and for all! You will comply because you do not wish to see the people you care for hurt. You are not quite as easily manipulated as I had hoped but I do believe you can be coerced and perhaps this will actually have the desired effect.” His words were a snarl competing with my anger which buzzed in my brain like angry hornets. I saw his hand twitch and felt the Guardsman closest to me move. “You may go now, we will speak later. I have much for you to do and you have much to learn about being in my service, girl, first of all, obedience and compliance. I shall enjoy watching you take these lessons to heart.”

I didn’t think then, I simply acted out of rage, out of desperation and whirled about igniting the weapon in my hand. Green flashed through the air as I swung out at the guardsman behind me but before I could even strike the lightsaber was swept from my hands by Palpatine’s force pull. His laughter filled the room.

“Yes, your anger is a powerful thing. How your Jedi mother would weep to see her daughter turning to the dark side. In time you will make a fine addition to my stable, but not yet, I think. You still have too much defiance but we will break you of that when the time is right….” He told me, patting the weapon he now held in his hands.

I was so angry I was shaking. Somewhere inside of my head a voice I knew from dreams was shouting at me to calm down, to think but I ignored it. Fury raged through me, a blinding storm of terrible emotion that would eat my soul whole if I let it. “I hate you.” I hissed and I meant it.

“Yes, I know,” He replied almost tenderly, “And I will use that emotion wisely, I can assure you.”

“He will never forgive you for this.” I hissed through clenched teeth. Neither will I, I thought.

“His forgiveness is not sought nor will it matter. He will be dead and I will have a new apprentice at my side, a more powerful apprentice.” He replied softly.

Bereft of words I simply shook my head slowly. I had not expected this; I had not thought him capable of such betrayal. As deeply as I loathed him in that moment a tiny part of me deep inside sensed he was wrong but I was too stunned, too angry to voice it. He just smiled at me then, almost lovingly, the way a master will smile at a trained pet which has finally learnt the lesson being taught.

“Escort Miss Gabriel to her shuttle, see that she arrives safely at the beta landing pad. She is of value to me, keep her from harm… until it is over.” Palpatine said as two uniformed guards stepped out of the shadows. They both gave curt precise military bows and the Royal Guard who had come up behind me gasped my arm tightly.

I have never liked being taken by force and the Royal Guard’s touch shoved me over the edge. I struggled wildly, screaming at the Emperor, berating him for what he was about to do, hating him for the betrayal of Lord Vader, hating him for what I knew he wanted to do to me. I was beside myself with fury and utterly out of control. I wondered briefly if this is what it felt like to go mad. Somewhere in the bottom of the darkness a gentle voice pleaded with me to find calm, to back down and while part of me ignored this voice another part listened. Slowly I came back to some semblance of sanity. The Guardsman who held me was very strong and I could feel his fingers digging into the flesh of my arm but the pain helped to clear my head. No matter how hard I struggled I knew I didn’t stand a chance against these men or the Emperor and there was nothing I could to do prevent what came next but it didn’t stop me from railing against it.

I was all but dragged to a second turbo lift, struggling all the way. I could feel Lord Vader’s presence so close it was as if he were standing next to me but I could not reach out to him with the force, there was something blocking me, he was shutting me out. It’s a trap! I screamed at him with my mind but my mental warning fell on deaf ears. In the scope of his world I was no longer important, all that mattered to Lord Vader was turning his son and pleasing his Master. For the first time in a very long time I felt very small and very alone. It was only the vague hint of Qui Gon Jinn’s ghostly presence in my mind that brought me back from the brink of utter despair. I stopped struggling then and the Guardsman released my arm when we reached the docking bay where my shuttle was.

The two officers followed me onto the Sigiri. I was shoved into the co pilot’s chair, a blaster held tightly to my head by the shorter of the two men while the other piloted the shuttle off the Battle Station to the beta site on the Endor moon. Neither of them spoke a word to me. I could feel their disdain and dislike of me coming off in waves. Had it not been for the Emperor’s words to take care that I was not harmed, I wasn’t at all certain what else they would have done to me. I had seen looks like they gave me before and it made my skin crawl. As it was they did nothing except maintain guard. The trip took no more than thirty minutes and in that time I had formulated my plan. I drew a deep shuddering breath and began the process of calming down to find my center. Be the stillness you seek…. I would need all of my wits about me if what I wanted to do when we landed was going to work.

The Wrong Side of Right 8

2007-04-19T14:10:00.000+02:00

I stood at the window in my office on board the Executor and gazed out at the planet we were orbiting. Endor was a huge gas giant with nine satellites including the life sustaining forested moon, known as the Sanctuary Moon because it had once been a protected nature reserve during the time of the Galactic Republic. During the rule of the Empire the Sanctuary Moon had been surveyed many times with mixed results.

The moon itself was home to several indigenous species of sentient life including Ewoks, yuzzums and Duloks. While the reports had down played any dangers any of these species posed I had heard rumours that on one expedition the Ewoks had managed to run circles around the first scouting party that had been sent down to explore the moon yet there had been nothing noted about this in the official reports. It would not be the first time that Imperial surveys had completely discounted the intelligence of the local species and I was certain it would not be the last.

Thrawn often spoke of the arrogance rampant in the Empire leading to the silly belief that humans were far superior to all other sentient species in the galaxy. One of these days this misguided belief will come back to haunt the Empire, believe me. It is very unwise to underestimate a species simply because they are physically and mentally different. He had said and I guessed he aught to know as he had experienced this first hand, being alien himself.

Still, as I had looked at the image of the furry little creatures called ewoks I could see how people, particularly Imperial men would be quick to dismiss them as harmless. They reminded me of small bears and they were more cute than threatening. Still, visitors to Tatooine often thought that wamp-rats were cute in their own way and soon found out the hard way this was as far from the truth as possible.

From where I stood I could also see the new battle station which was still under construction. I had not been allowed to accompany Lord Vader when ever he went over to converse with the Emperor so I had no idea just how far along the construction actually was. I found it strange that no one would even speak about it and when I had asked Lord Vader about all the secrecy he had been less than kind in his answer so I left it alone. In the end, I didn’t actually care.

Two days after I arrived, the rest of the fleet began to amass and by then I was busy enough with work for Lord Vader that it didn’t occur to me to ask questions. The Executor was the command ship for the fleet so every operation was run from her bridge. I lost count of the number of drills that occurred and eventually learned to tune out the ear splitting alarm that shattered the peace and quiet. I was pretty certain that what ever the rebels were preparing for it wasn’t this and they would be outnumbered and out gunned beyond their wildest dreams.

It was a good thing that I had brought my lightsaber because in the small pockets of down time, in between the drills and the work Lord Vader had decided that I was the perfect distraction. Despite the fact that his battle droids were an infinitely better challenge than I was, he seemed to enjoy sparring with a live being and I know he enjoyed teaching even though he would never in a thousand years admit to that. For my part I was also grateful for the distraction. If I was trying to concentrate on not losing any limbs and keeping out of the way of his evil little remotes I was not thinking about the up and coming carnage that was sure to happen. It was going to be a slaughter if it worked out the way the Emperor had planned it. The waiting drove me mad. When it ended it was almost a relief.

We were in the middle of a lesson when Lord Vader was suddenly summoned to the bridge. I knew that this was the beginning, the signal he had also been waiting for, but there was something else. He had felt something, a ripple in the force. I had felt it too. Like a slight caress to the back of my neck, making all the hair on my arms stand on end.

“What was tha…?” I started to ask.

“My son.” He spoke with a quiet hush. This was what he had been waiting for even though he had never voiced it.

“He’s here?” I asked. It seemed so surreal to me that this Luke Skywalker would deliberately walk into a situation that would surely mean his death.

Lord Vader suddenly looked at me as though seeing me for the first time. I could have sworn he was smiling. “Of course.” There was such pride in his voice that I suddenly hated Luke Skywalker but I bit it down.

He didn’t say anything else and swept out of the room as though I no longer existed. With nothing else to do and the desire to continue my own workout gone I went back to my quarters, showered and then wandered down to see if Jorae was working.

I lounged in the extra seat beside Jorae who was busy at his work station. I had brought him a cup of stimcaf and his grin had been worth it.

“So what’s going on?” I asked impatient for news, bored and frustrated all at the same time.

He took off his head set, sipped his ‘caf and drew a deep breath. “Well if I understand it right they just let a shuttle go through the blockade to the moon.”

I made a face. “That’s news?”

He nodded. “Yeah because they were using a really old pass code, probably one of the ones the Emperor let slip. We think it’s them.” He said dropping his voice to a low whisper.

I arched an eye brow doing a good Thrawn imitation and said, “Them?”

Jorae grinned. “You know, rebels.” He said. “Probably the scouting party, you know, come to check out the lay of the land and report back to their control.”

“You’ve been watching too many holo war dramas!” I told him with a laugh.

“Do you think they know this is a trap?” Jorae asked looking at me.

I shook my head. “No, I am fairly sure they don’t. I am fairly certain they have no idea what is waiting for them.”

He looked at me then. “You sound like you feel sorry for them!” He could not keep the incredulity out of his voice.

“A little. It will be a slaughter. A lot of people are going to die and for what?”

He shrugged. “They are the ones stupid enough to want to try and take down the government and the Emperor.” He said.

I nodded. “I know but it doesn’t change the fact that a lot of people are going to die.” I said, “That includes a lot of Imperial pilots and ground troops.”

Jorae made a face. “Boy, you sure know how to ruin the mood, don’t you.” He said and slipped his headset back on. “I gotta get back to work, you should go and get some sleep or something, you look like hell.”

He was right and I could not disagree with him. “Yeah, sleep sounds like a good thing.” I actually could not recall the last time I had a good night’s sleep. My nights had been filled with strange dreams full of mixed messages I could not decipher and nightmares that had me waking up screaming blue murder. The images were so jumbled that upon waking I usually had no clear memory of what I had dreamt but the lingering fear of something awful about to happen remained.

“I’ll ping you if something happens.” He said cheerfully as I got up to leave.

“Thanks.” I said and gave him a little wave, leaving him to his work.

As I wandered through the corridors of the Executor I was clear that the tension level on the ship had risen up several notches. Everyone was waiting and it was driving me crazy. Nothing seemed to ease it. I could have exercised until I dropped from exhaustion and still I would have felt the stress.

Restless and frustrated I resorted to the one thing I knew would keep my mind occupied. I went down into the hanger bay where the shuttles were docked and asked the deck officer if he minded if I worked on the Sigiri which had been unofficially dubbed my ship because I used it so much.

“Be my guest, Miss Gabriel.” He said. Preoccupied with other problems the last thing he wanted was to deal with me whining at him, which I would have given half a chance.

I often spent time tinkering with the Sigiri’s engines and ship board systems. It was the one place I felt truly at ease and out of the way. When Lord Vader was busy and did not need my services, there wasn’t much else for me to do on board the Executor. So one day, in the throes of absolute boredom, I had begged the deck officer on duty at the time to give me some mechanic work. I was certified and had papers so it wasn’t as if I wasn’t actually qualified to touch a ship’s engine. It had taken some convincing and only when I had complained about it all enough to Lord Vader had I actually been granted clearance to go into the pits and work. I didn’t get to do it very often but when I could it was a relief. No matter what else was going on in the Empire, ships engines always needed looking after.

I had started seriously looking after the Sigiri after the trip with Thrawn. This had not gone unnoticed by Lord Vader who essentially had the shuttle signed off to me exclusively unless no other was available. I had been so delighted by this I had almost hugged him, but thankfully had managed to restrain myself from this impulse at the last minute. The bad thing about this arrangement was that because the Sigiri wasn’t really mine, other people used her when I was not around which was often enough. The good thing about this was that afterwards there was always something for me to do because despite of the fact that the Empire hired good mechanics, the shuttles were the least cared for. It was the TIEs and the rest of the fleet’s ships that got the brunt of mechanical attention. Only the Emperor’s and Lord Vader’s personal shuttle received such good care, the rest were given a cursory once over to make sure things were working and that was that.

I changed into the coveralls I kept on board the shuttle and vanished into the engine room. As I had feared the last person to use Sigiri had left a mess and before long I was cheerfully up to my elbows in hydraulic fluid and engine bits.

Time always passed differently when I was working on engines. It seemed that while the rest of the galaxy continued on at it’s own pace, my world sped up. I could spend hours tinkering on a ship and never notice how late it had gotten. I could not count the number of times that my father or Jyrki had had to almost physically haul me away to eat supper or go to bed because time had just spun away from me.

By the time I was satisfied that the Sigiri was in peak running order again, nearly six hours had passed and I was actually exhausted. It struck me as odd, when I cleaned off the grime in the shower that fixing engines would tire me out even more so than a stressful physical workout with Lord Vader but I didn’t question it. With a sigh of relief I slipped into bed and fell asleep. If only my dreams were as peaceful as working on a ship’s engines were.

Qui Gon Jinn stood at my side. We were both standing on a hill with a landing pad someplace I had never been before. It was not a world I recognized but this was a dream so that did not mean very much.

“There will be much change.” He said.

“Change?”

“All things change in their time, young Merlyn.” He said gently.

“Where are we?” I asked changing the subject.

“At the beginning. At the end.” He replied cryptically.

“That is not helpful!”

He laughed. “You always want the straight answers where there are none.” His tone of voice was kind, not chiding.

“Why are you here?” I asked, impatience leaking into my voice.

“I see much potential in you but like Anakin you have a wild streak, you will need to watch that. The Darkside is seductive and you are at a turning point.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Be mindful of your emotions. Be mindful of the living force, let it be your guide not your fear or your anger.” He paused for a moment then added, “You cannot go where he is going; you cannot follow in his footsteps.” Qui Gon said gently, laying his hand on my shoulder.

I frowned. “I don’t understand what you are telling me, as usual!” I snapped.

“I can only serve as a guide, nothing more.” He laughed and then drew a deep breath. “Everything is going to change.” He said and then shimmered into nothingness. “Remember all you have learned, it will save your life.”

I shivered as the air suddenly grew cold and the sky dark. I looked up expecting to see storm clouds but instead saw the Executor plunging down towards where I stood. I opened my mouth to scream but no sound came out. Instead I suddenly found myself in an EV suit out in the vacuum of space. It was the strangest sensation and as the stars whirled about me I felt my stomach churn. I knew I was going to be sick if I didn’t get out of the suit but when I tried to move around to catch my tether line I realised there was none and I was free floating in space and there was nothing else around me, no ship, no safety line nothing. I was utterly alone. The panic I felt swelling in my chest was so great I thought for certain the entire galaxy could hear my heart beating. I had no idea what to do and just when I though it could not get any worse a loud alarm started to sound in my helmet. I looked at the gauges on my wrist and saw I was running out of oxygen. When I opened my mouth to scream I realised I could not breathe, the alarm in my helmet sounding louder than anything else I had ever known. As the stars spun around me all I could think of was Thrawn and that I did not want to die.

I woke up nauseated and gasping for breath, soaked in sweat and shivering. The alarm in my dream was the comm by my bed and when I answered it I was anything but polite. The young voice on the other end sounded non-plussed and bored as he told me that I was to take the Sigiri to the Battle Station. The Emperor wished to speak with me.

I wasn’t sure what was worse. The dream I had just had or going to see the Emperor. With a sigh I got out of bed, showered and dressed. I grabbed my satchel with my lightsaber, my ident cards, and a couple of books tucked in it, threw a shawl across my shoulders and made my way to the landing bay. I shivered, despite the warmer clothes I was wearing, as I sat down in the pilot’s chair and started the engine warm up sequence.

I had not been to the Battle station before so the docking procedure was interesting. As I navigated my way around the superstructure I could see where it was still unfinished and under construction, but I was certain this was just for show and that the station itself was more than battle ready. It was an awesome sight. I might have spent longer staring at the technological wonder except traffic control broke into my thoughts requesting clearance codes then giving me my landing instructions.

Once the ship had touched down on the incredibly shiny floor and I had shut the engines down, I slipped my ident cards over my head but left my satchel onboard the shuttle in the cockpit under the pilot’s seat. I didn’t think it was a good idea to visit the Emperor with a lightsaber tucked away on my person. I was so nervous that sandjiggers squirmed in my gut. I had to work hard to calm myself down. I was sure that whatever it was the Emperor wanted from me, it was not good, nothing he did was good. When I walked down the ramp, two stone faced officers were waiting for me. I was a little surprised when they requested to see my identity tags because usually no one bothered but they were not taking any chances.

When I asked what was going on I was given no answer only a filthy look. Once my tags had been cleared I was told to follow them, so I did. I had a terrible sense of foreboding in my gut and the nausea I had experienced in my dream became very real. I had to fight to keep my breathing steady and remain calm. My palms were sweating and cold shivers ran the length of my spine. I wondered if everyone felt this terrible sense of doom when ever they were summoned before the Emperor or if it was just me being paranoid.

To distract me from the sense of impending doom, I concentrated on remembering the way I had come from the docking bay and the land marks along the way. The battle station was indeed huge and full of people as well, most of whom did not even bother to glance up as I passed by. We entered a turbo lift which was so fast I thought that my stomach had fallen out of my belly. When we reached the top and the doors opened I knew a real sense of fear without any reason. At one of the Officer’s insistence I got off first, they followed close behind me.

One of the Royal Guardsmen who was standing at the side of the closed entrance moved slightly and the officer on my left said. “The Emperor will see you now.”

The doorway to the Emperor’s observation chamber opened and I walked into almost darkness. I stood for a few moments while my eyes adjusted. The pause was enough to allow me to see the vastness of the area I was in and take stock of the astonishing view that was being afforded by the huge round picture window.

“Come closer, young Merlyn.” The Emperor’s voice drifted out of the darkness. “I have something I wish you to see.”

The Wrong Side of Right 7

2007-04-16T08:06:00.000+02:00

Thrawn sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, his face resting in his hands. I stroked his bare back with my finger tips.

“Are you really alright?” I asked.

He turned his head to glance at me. “Yes, I am just exhausted, sj’iu tekari. This has been a difficult campaign.” He said.

“So he’s finally dead?” I asked, getting up to curl about his back, pressing my cheek against his skin. When I kissed him on the shoulder he reached back and caressed my hair then continued to undress.

“Yes.” His reply sounded so weary it almost broke my heart.

“I am so glad you’re home.” I told him quietly.

I hadn’t seen him in what seemed like forever and even though the boys in the spook room had done their best to let me know what was going on the details were greatly lacking. I got snippets of information mostly with the tag line – he’s alright- tacked on for good measure. Sometimes, when he was actually on planet Lord Vader would tell me more but mainly the time together, which did not involve work, was spent with him teaching me.

It became a pattern of his to roust me out of bed and send for me to meet him at his Coruscant home. Most of the time he would instruct me in methods he had learned from his masters long before the mask and the anger, often we would spar and sometimes we would talk. It was a strange time and there was an odd sense of limbo, of waiting for something to happen. The strange restlessness that had permeated the Imperial Palace seeped its way into daily Coruscant life. Despite his annoying habit of waking me up at odd hours, I didn’t mind, especially since Lord Vader never did this when Thrawn was on planet only when he was away.

Oddly enough, I welcomed Lord Vader’s presence and the peculiar hours he kept didn’t really bother me, I was used to them. If he felt the same for me he never said, he was not a person to speak over how he felt but I got the impression he was happy to have someone to wake up in the small hours of the night, to keep him company. Loneliness comes in many guises, who was I to question this? I suppose it was a compliment that he allowed me such a place in his private life. I knew more about him than almost anyone else, while I could never condone the terrible things he did, I understood, maybe just a little better than most, why he was the way he was. He also understood about fear, about worry for someone else.

Despite the fact that I tried to keep my feelings about Thrawn and what he was doing to myself, Lord Vader knew anyway, how could he not? So he would impart knowledge of Thrawn’s work in small careful nuggets for which I was grateful. He knew things no on eels would tell me. I supposed it served his own purpose to keep me informed and up to date. Worried, I was not much use to him and my work suffered, my studies suffered. Much of the news I heard never made it to public channels so I was glad I had my own resources. Still, when the conflict with Zaarin was finally over I was relieved beyond belief. I knew that Thrawn was on his way back to Coruscant because Lord Vader had let me know.

It had been just past three in the morning when Thrawn had finally returned home. I had not been sleeping well so when the door to the flat opened I had woken up instantly. I had turned on the small side lamp to let him know I was awake and that there was no need for stealth. I had not been prepared for how worn out he looked when he had walked in the bedroom. He had motioned for me not to get out of bed and had begun to undress right away; stripping out of his uniform, stripping away the vestiges of the battle he had been instrumental in winning. I was glad he had returned safely.

“Do you want a cup of tea.” I asked as he got up from the bed, moving away from my embrace to go to the refresher.

“No, but a brandy would not be unwelcome.” He said before he closed the door. “I’ll join you in a few minutes.”

I got up, pulled on a robe and padded, barefoot, to the kitchen. Two glasses of brandy in hand I went into the living room, set the glasses on the table and lit a couple of candles. I could hear when he finished showering and I smiled when he joined me, wearing the long robe I had bought for him to replace the one I had stolen from him, the scent of his damp hair and soap filling the air.

“I suppose you will want to hear all about it then?” He asked touching is glass to mine.

“At least the Daily Digest version.” I replied. “But I don’t really need all the gory details and only if you want to talk about it.”

He nodded and caressed the side of my face gently. “How much do you know?” He asked sipping his drink slowly.

“Well, after Zaarin’s kidnapping attempt failed he vanished and then there were reports that he had begun to rain Imperial facilities, I am guessing he wanted to slow production of the TIE advanced. I heard that the battles were pretty vicious. I also heard there were rebels adding to the mix and that Zaarin actually used an interdictor against you while you were on board the Sceltor. I heard that your ship took heavy damage but everyone I talked with went to great pains to let me know you were okay.”

He smiled. “I see your friends in Intel have been keeping you informed.”

“They said you had come back to the Core but it was a quick turn around.” I told him.

He nodded. “That is true, though I stayed onboard while we were in space dock to supervise the repairs. I did send you a message to let you know that I was alright.”

I smiled at that memory, a bouquet of white Corellian roses mixed with pale blue lilies and tiny bright red poppet-blossoms. “I got it.” He had sent me flowers, much as he had once before letting me know that he was not so easy to kill, still I had been a bit freaked out. “But seeing you alive in person would have been nice.” I added. “I was worried.”

“Duty comes first, tekari.” He chided gently.

I rolled my eyes at him. “I know that.” I said and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

“So do you know that when we returned to go after Zaarin he was trying to destroy the TIE Defender project?”

I nodded. “Yes, but didn’t you get a couple of prototypes out before he destroyed the place?”

“Three in total,” he said, “Which we shipped in separate corvettes to Coruscant but one was stolen by pirates while en route.”

I gave a short, mirthless laugh, “I heard about that, the pirates tried to auction it off to the highest bidder, which turned out to be the Emperor.” I said. “I suppose it’s a good thing the Emperor is so wealthy he can buy back his own technology.” I added. “And didn’t Zaarin have some involvement with the pirates?”

Thrawn drew a deep breath. “Yes. He used everything available to him to try and keep us from finding and using the prototypes. It got very messy.” He said quietly. “I lost an ISD and a lot of good people. Fighting Zaarin was sometimes like fighting a ghost. It was very challenging and sometimes very frustrating.”

“Bet you almost wish I had done away with him when I had the chance!”

He just gave me a hard look and did not dignify my question with an answer “It was a jax and mouse game for a while and most intriguing to do battle against someone with such a keen mind.”

“They announced your promotion, by the way.” I said when he stopped to take a sip of his drink.

“Yes, there was another ceremony done out in the Eva-T system; you know how the Emperor likes things done properly.” He said with a touch of disdain. “However, I felt it was inappropriate given the circumstances.”

“The Emperor could afford to let everyone know I suppose, after all it was official that Zaarin was a traitor and you would probably win.” I did not bother to hid the bitterness I felt.

Thrawn arched an eyebrow at me. “So you figured out Palpatine’s game then? Clever girl.” He said softly.

“He really is evil.”

Thrawn simply shrugged.

“Well at least now I get to call you Grand Admiral for real.” My words made him smile. “So what finally happened?” I asked.

“We attacked his convoys based on information from prisoners, it was mostly a success except when Zaarin ambushed us and we lost the ISD. After this we used missile boats to lure him out of hiding. I suppose he must have begun to feel desperate because it ended up that he stole the corvette with the cloaking device. He thought he could use it to escape but he did not realise there was a major design flaw. When he tried to make the jump into hyperspace the cloak became unstable and exploded. He was killed instantly.”

“Well, I can’t say I am sorry to hear that he is finally dead.”

Thrawn looked at me for a moment. “Nor can I, tekari, nor can I.”

“What about the cloaking technology?”

“Gone. The Emperor decided that it was too unstable to continue with the project for now and he has his mind on other things these days.”

I made a face. “Right, the new battle station and his nefarious plan to trap the rebels.”

“You disagree with this plan?” he asked mildly in that manner which let me know I wasn’t the only one and that he was just interested in knowing why.

“I think it is stupid.” I snapped crossly, echoing Lord Vader’s sentiments. “He’s underestimated the rebels before and look at what happened.”

Thrawn nodded. “He is taking a risk, I agree, but the rebellion’s fleet is limited as is their technology. If the battle station’s weapon is fully operational which is the plan, the rebels won’t stand much of a chance.”

I sighed as I swished the last of my brandy around in the glass. “You said so yourself, the rebels have nothing to lose, they will fight like cornered animals and the Emperor is too sure this plan will work. Lord Vader on the other hand….”

“I know how Vader feels, believe me I have heard plenty about it. He even asked me to speak to the Emperor on the subject, which I tried to do but was told on no certain terms to leave it alone. The Emperor does not like to be told he is wrong and I have done that one too many times it seems.” Thrawn said softly. “I was not part of the planning for this particular trap so I don’t know all the details and I also have my reservations but I cannot argue against the amount fire power the Empire has.”

“As I recall, that is what everyone thought the last time one of these huge battle stations was built and look at what happened to that one!” Vader’s words echoed in my head. I told them that ridiculous weapon was nothing in comparison to the power of the force but they just laughed. Never underestimate the power of the force and never underestimate a force user. He had said.

Thrawn merely nodded and changed the subject. “So, my dear, how have you been?” I knew better than to try and fight him when he did this. If there was more to say about the episode with Zaarin, when he was ready, he would tell me. I had meant what I had said, the details were not important I was just glad Zaarin was dead and Thrawn was home.

“Busy, mostly even though Lord Vader left a week ago to go and over see the lagging construction on the new battle station. He keeps me on my toes with all the stuff he needs done. And when he is in space his schedule is non existent so he wakes me up at the weirdest times to get stuff sorted for him. I am kind of surprised he hasn’t asked me to come out and join him on board the Executor yet, to be honest, not that I mind.” I said. “Oh and I had an interesting run with Mara Jade a few days ago.” I shrugged. “Mostly I just work and that has been insane especially since the death of Xizor, you heard about that right?”

He nodded. “I did, bad news travels faster than light speed. Although I cannot say I am sad to see the back of him. If I understood the story correctly all his plotting was to get revenge for something Lord Vader had done years ago.” He said.

I nodded and filled him in on the details.

“I can understand Xizor’s wrath and I have to say I am impressed by his patience and planning but once again it seems everyone underestimated young Skywalker.”

“Yep and Xizor underestimated Lord Vader. He thought that Vader’s fear of the Emperor’s wrath would keep him safe enough. I wish I could have seen the look on Xizor’s face when he realised that was not the case.”

“Was Vader punished?”

I shook my head. “Not that I know of. I personally think the Emperor found it all very amusing and couldn’t really care a wamp rat’s ass if Xizor lived or died. I think he just enjoy baiting Lord Vader.”

“That guess is probably more truth than any of us will know.” Thrawn replied. “What happened with Mara Jade?”

“Oh, well I was in the training room trying to work on a particular move Lord Vader was teaching me when she came in. I haven’t seen her around much to be honest. I just figured she was off saving the galaxy from evil doers or something along those lines so I was kind of surprised. Anyway, she didn’t waste much time in getting to the point and wanted to know what working as a dancer for Jabba the Hutt was like.”

I smiled at the reaction on Thrawn’s face. “Really?”

I nodded. “It was a little odd, but since she asked I told her what I knew. Then she started asking me about the palace and the people who worked there and dancing there. Her questions were pretty pointed so I knew she was on a fact finding mission. I haven’t worked there in a while but things with Jabba don’t change a lot. I am pretty sure it’s same old same old, if you know what I mean.”

He nodded. “Do you know what she needed the information for?”

“No. She likes to gather intel not give it out. Although, I did get the distinct impression that asking me had not exactly been her idea. I suspect the Emperor had a hand in that and he knows well enough where I worked before I came here.” I replied. “It could mean anything from the Emperor wanting to blow up Jabba’s palace and sending her to do it or she’s fed up with working for the Empire and wants to try her hand at another profession. I really don’t know. She didn’t lie to me about anything but she didn’t give much away either but what ever she is doing it made her a little nervous so it must be big.” I shrugged. “I wasn’t going to press her either because to be honest, Za’ar, I just don’t care. She is just another one of the Emperor’s pawns and I have no desire to get tangled in her business.”

“That was probably wise, tekari. The Emperor does like to play his games.” Thrawn said with a sigh, quietly, drinking the last of his brandy, setting the empty glass back on the table. “I guess we will know what he was up to when we see how it all plays out.” He said getting to his feet, offering me a hand up.

“So now what?” I asked as he tugged me up out of my seat, wrapped his arms about my waist and pulled me in to hold me tightly. When I looked up into his face I could see the fatigue etched on it. I suppose he read the concern in my eyes because he smiled then and kissed me lightly on the forehead.

“Now, we go to bed.” He said quietly, caressing my face with his beautiful hands. I was not about to argue with him on this at all. I looked at him for a moment and felt my heart suddenly skip. I know he noticed. He could see it in my eyes, the flush on my cheeks, he always noticed. Despite the fact we were both tired, the desire between us blossomed and he smiled that smile. He moved my hair aside to kiss the side of my neck.

“I thought you were tired?” I murmured. I could sense his own waking need. I had tuned into that a very long time ago, and now I could feel it almost before he could.

His hands swept the robe off my body and then grazed up under the shirt top. I gasped.

“I am,” He said. He lifted the top over my head and my bare skin prickled as nothing but air brushed against it.

“I was wearing that.” I whispered.

He gave me a feral smile. “Not anymore.” And before I could argue he swept me up and carried me to the bedroom. “Sometimes, tekari, even I need to lose myself in the good to forget about the bad.” He said as he laid me on the bed. He disrobed and I smiled. His own interest was more than apparent.

“Well, welcome home.” I whispered in his ear when he lay down in the space I made for him as I moved my legs. Any more words spoken were lost in the urgency of his mouth meeting mine and after that the conversation was of a vastly different nature. How I treasured these bedroom discussions.

I was not at all surprised when two days after his return Thrawn told me he had been ordered back to the Unknown Regions to continue the task he had started. Unspoken but implied the Emperor’s command was telling him to stay away from Endor. It also did not surprise me that the day he gave me this news Lord Vader summoned me to join him on board the Executor.

Luckily for me, I had enough time to pack carefully but this time I decided on leaving almost everything I usually dragged with me, including his letters and gifts, behind. Mostly it had been his doing. I had been sitting on the bed in the room that was mine agonizing over what to bring when he had come in to ask if I wanted tea and then just stared at me with that raised eyebrow look.

“Why do you do this every time you get called off world?” He had asked.

“I hate leaving my things behind.”

“They are safer here than anywhere else, tekari.” He had said. “Especially the letters, I will write more, you know.”

I sighed. “I know, it’s just that I just miss you, I miss …well I miss home… and the letters are like having a part of you with me. Great sarlacc that sounds so sappy.” I had said with a shrug, the fact that I caressed the letters which lay on the bed with trembling finger tips had not gone unnoticed.

His expression had softened then and he had sat down beside me on the bed. “Leave these things here, take only what you need. This flat is safe, your treasures are safe. I would not like to know what would happen if these letters should end up in the wrong hands.” He said.

“No one can read them!” I said, “At least most of them anyway, they are in Cheunh.”

He had looked at me then, “Are you willing to take that chance?” his voice soft, dangerous.

He was of course right. “No.” I had said, making a face. It touched him, I think, that I dragged these things around with me every time I went off world. That his letters meant so much to me, of course he had mine hidden away as well. So in the end we were as bad as each other.

“I promise, I’ll write and send books enough to keep that curious mind of your busy.” His finger tips grazed through my hair. “I doubt you’ll be away for that long anyway. After all Coruscant is the seat of power and once this latest battle is over with hopefully there will be some semblance of peace. You won’t be gone long enough to miss me.” He had said with a smile. He had meant his words to be reassuring but they sent a shiver down my spine.

In the end, I had taken his advice and packed up my little treasures in the box I kept them in and tucked them away in the back of the closet under a pile of blankets. This amused Thrawn to no end who just watched me shaking his head in silent laughter. How could I explain to him that if I had found Jyrki’s secret hidden away in the Jedi Temple that I was sure someone, if they tried hard enough, could find mine. Call me paranoid but I wasn’t taking chances.

I had not realised that I had made a home in his flat on Coruscant. But when I thought about it, it seemed silly to keep dragging my stuff everywhere I went. The Executor was not my home, there was no need to try and make it into one. The only thing I hesitated over was the lightsaber and in the end I reasoned that I could tuck it in my satchel and carry it with me along with my ident cards and my datacard reader.

“Don’t spend all night in here sorting out the past, tekari; I just opened a rather nice bottle of wine.” He had said, cupping my face to kiss me. His smile had told me all I had needed to know and he caught the blush that coloured my cheeks. “I want to spend the last evening we’ll have together for a while … together.”

The rest of the evening and night had been filled with enough pleasurable memories to last a life time. Chiss, he had once said, have amazing stamina, and this was true but I had been well trained in the Bunduki martial arts and so did I. We teased and played each other in way I suspect would make his people squirm. In between the passion were pockets of subtle and gentle affection, words and stories, memory and thought. I knew as I lay in the safe circle of his arms that as he had been the first man to truly love me, to bed me, he would also be the last.

I hadn’t lied before when I had told him, there was no other. If I had known what was to come, know how things were going to change I would have told him truly how I felt, that which I kept so close to my heart, words we never ever spoke for what was between us. As it was, I was certain he knew anyway, how could he not, but I would wish I had told him. Our passion for one another could have rivalled the fire from the twin suns of Tatooine but some how passion is never enough when everything else around you is broken.

With our goodbyes said quietly and in private, once again I left Coruscant on board a shuttle headed for the Outer Rim Territories to the Endor system. I sat as a passenger this time and was oddly grateful for it.

The journey was long and quiet; the shuttle was mostly empty save for a couple of Imperial Intel officers who ignored me completely. I was glad of the large selection of electronic books Thrawn had given me before I left but for much of the journey I could not actually concentrate on reading, instead I spent the time either staring out into the hyperspace lane, absently playing with the necklace I always wore, the small round ma’arilite stone with the hidden star in it, or sitting on my own in the tiny galley drinking tea.

So much had happened in what seemed to be such a short time that I had barely had time to put it all together. Xizor was dead, Zaarin was dead, two men who had caused so much trouble for such a long time suddenly gone. I wasn’t unhappy about their deaths but it all seemed so surreal.

Thrawn had spoken sparingly about the details in the drawn out battles Zaarin had caused. I knew better than to push him. He was angry with himself for losing an ISD, for losing so many men and women and decent pilots. He was also angry with himself for not seeing everything play out the way he usually could. I had to remind him that it was he who had told me often enough of Zaarin’s intelligence and tactical genius. That in spite of Zaarin’s intelligence Thrawn had still managed to out-think him on more than one occasion. It had not helped to ease his mind.

Like Xizor, Zaarin had had an axe to grind and his hatred of the Emperor as well as Thrawn had burned deeply inside of him driving him to do what he did. I didn’t understand why he had loathed the Emperor so much. I knew why I hated Palpatine but Zaarin had no obvious reason to and the only thing I could put it all down to was Zaarin’s lust for power. In the end it was his own greed that did him in, that and the fact that Thrawn knew something he did not. My uncle had once told me that in the end everything always came down to details. When I had repeated this to Thrawn he had just laughed bitterly. I toyed with the pendant around my throat and sighed. In the end I closed my eyes and dozed fitfully until we landed on board the Executor.

The Wrong Side of Right 6

2007-04-12T15:26:00.000+02:00

Despite the fact that I had known Zaarin was up to something when news of the Emperor’s abduction and the attempted coup by the Grand Admiral hit I was still shocked into a dull sort of numbness.

En route to Coruscant, the Emperor’s shuttle had been intercepted and the Emperor had been kidnapped. Lord Vader had moved swiftly the moment the news of this reached him. It was lucky that he was already off world at the time and could deal with directly. I was just grateful that I had not been hauled off world with him. By the time news of the attempted coup reached the public’s ears Coruscant was already locked down, a curfew had already been imposed and extra security had been set in place to avoid any problems that might arise from people who might take advantage of the situation. It was a mess and the News Nets were in a frantic panic trying to get any information at all. My contact with Lord Vader since all hell had broken loose was limited. He would not be back on planet until the mess was sorted out, he said and that I should cancel all meetings and appointments until other wise notified. When I pressed him for details he had simply replied.

“That moron Zaarin thinks he can rule the galaxy! He has no idea what the Emperor is capable of and he’s not the first idiot to kidnap Palpatine either. I’ll be back when this is over in the mean time I expect you to deal with your work and continue the studies I have set for you!”

I simply nodded. He had been trying to teach me more control over my force powers and neither of us were having a lot of success over this. At wit’s end, he had requested that Master Kjestyll teach me more about the art of control through meditation as he seemed to have better luck with me on this subject than Lord Vader had. I did not think that it was a matter of control but rather more about master Kjestyll’s ability to instil calm in me not anger or fear as was usually the case with Lord Vader. No matter what the reasons, my lessons with Master Kjestyll had gone from being combat related to control related and had done nothing to ease my sense of frustration. I was not a very good student in the art of being patient and calm.

It was a dark time for everyone working at the palace. Security was on high alert and anyone not wearing their identity badges was in for a nasty shock. I was glad to work in the quiet part of the palace and I wasn’t the only one. More often than not Shiv and sometimes Ynyth would come and join me, to hang out under the guise of being on official business. We mostly sat watching the HoloNet news, amazed at the level of disinformation that was given out on the public broad-wave, comparing our own news to that from the HoloNet.

There was nothing we could do except watch the story unfold, taking bits and pieces of news from every source we could. Luckily for us, as palace workers with good clearance and a lot of friends with even better clearance the story unravelled itself pretty swiftly once the information began to flow.

The kidnapping attempt of the Emperor had not been as successful as first believed. Someone named Arden Lyn had actually been the one to capture the Emperor’s shuttle and was in the process of bringing it to Zaarin’s Flagship the Glory. I knew when Lord Vader had engaged in battle because Jorae had sent me a quick priority message telling me. In the all too frustratingly infrequent updates that followed I learned that, despite the fight which had ensued, Zaarin and most of his fleet had escaped.

Shiv and I had sat in my office glued to the in-house reports, cups of tea growing cold in our hands as we watched and waited for more news. As much as I feared the Emperor, I could not imagine a galaxy without him and along with many others whispered quiet prayers for his safe return. There was a silent sigh of relief when the official News cast finally announced that the coup had failed, that Lord Vader had recovered the Emperor’s shuttle with the Emperor still on board and that he was safe and well. When the Emperor returned to Coruscant it was a quiet affair. There was no parade and no large celebratory festivities.

I knew that all was more or less back to normal when Lord Vader summoned me to meet him in the office in his home in the middle of the night. The driver who came to pick me up was quiet and terse. I sat in the back of the speeder, wrapped in a heavy shawl. It was late, I had been asleep and I was not happy about being hauled out of bed.

The sentry on duty merely nodded to me as I passed through the great doors. I was expected. “He’s waiting for you in the small library.” He said.

I merely nodded and drew a deep breath. The small library was probably, next to my office, the most inviting room that I had seen in his home. It was situated on one of the upper floors and had a stunning view over the city. Despite the fact that he had filled the library with enough reading material to last me a life time, it was a room he rarely used and a room I was not often permitted to enter without his express permission. I knocked on the door and it opened on its own.

“Come in girl.” His voice seemed too loud in the quiet of the night.

I did as he had asked and shut the door behind me. He was standing with his back to the door, staring out over the night skyline of the city.

“Is his Excellency alright?” I asked quietly, unable to gauge his mood.

There was no sound except the rhythmic in- out of the mechanical breathing and I did not know what to do, if I should approach or stay put.

“Yes, he was never in any real danger.” Lord Vader replied.

I nodded. “What can I do for you, my lord?” I asked. It was late, I was tired and I wanted him to get to the point so that I could go back home to bed.

“Thrawn has gone after Zaarin and his fleet.” He said simply.

I drew a deep breath and let it go slowly. This was not news I wanted to hear though it was not really a surprise either. I just stared at his back wondering why had he called me all the way out to his barren home to tell me this news that he could have given me at any time, could have given me in the morning so why here? Why now?

“Well, I am certain that if anyone can catch Zaarin it will be Thrawn, my lord.” I said carefully.

“Your faith in your lover is commendable.” Lord Vader said more to himself than to me. His words lacked their usual bite but they annoyed me anyway.

“Why am I here?” I asked crossly. I was irritated. I was tired. I was cold.

He turned around to regard me carefully. “I thought you would want to know what is happening before it gets blown out of proportion by the News Net.” There was truth in the words he spoke but also a lie behind them.

“Thank you my lord.” I said, puzzled by his demeanour. I couldn’t read him tonight although I tried.

“Master Kjestyll has informed me that you are finding your currents studies with him difficult.” He replied, utterly changing the subject.

“You’ve been speaking with him recently?” I was surprised.

“He keeps me informed of your progress, or lack thereof.” He said vaguely, gesturing for me to sit on the floor. I was grateful this room was carpeted. I sat down, cross legged; my hands folded one into the other in my lap and waited.

“Why did you ask the Emperor about learning more control over your talents?” He asked.

Ah, I thought, now we get to the point. He was angry that I had talked to the Emperor about my training, about wanting more than I was getting yet Lord Vader did not seem angry to me, he seemed resigned.

I sighed as I answered him. “I don’t know. He asked a question and I answered it but it’s the truth.” I said. “I have this power but I don’t understand it. I feel as though I am missing something. I’ve read about the Jedi being able to do amazing things, how they could run faster, jump higher. I have even heard it said that they could even meditate so deeply that they could put themselves into trances which could help them heal. I didn’t think it would be prudent to talk about learning Jedi abilities with the Emperor so all I told him was I thought I needed to learn more control, which is also the truth. When it comes to the Force I feel as though I am just running around in circles and I have no idea what I am doing.”

“That would be because you don’t know what you are doing.” He shot back. I just glared at him.

The silence between us was long and hard I wasn’t certain if he was going to get angry and stalk off or turn violent, he did neither.

“Why control?” he asked staring out of the window once again.

I shrugged. “I didn’t really know what else to say. He scares me when he talks to me about what I want because it always comes with a price.” I said. It was the first time I had ever said that out loud to Lord Vader even though I was certain he already knew this.

“Of course it does. The Emperor always has a motive.” He retorted, “But that still does not answer my question.”

I sighed. “I feel I need it. Maybe if I fight Jyrki again it would help me beat him, we are so evenly matched and he knows me too well.” I said. It wasn’t exactly the truth and I wondered if for a moment he had figured that out. Lord Vader was many things but he was not stupid and after nearly four years of working with me he knew me too well.

“He knows the girl you once were, not who you have become. I have told you before you give him too much power.”

“Yes, you have but that still doesn’t change the fact I need to learn control or that it might be useful to know how to do more than just move coffee cups across a table.”

“These abilities require years and years of training. You are too old for this now.” He replied casually.

“Then why teach me at all?” I countered, my anger surfacing. I was too tired and cranky to care about whether or not I was being rude.

“I have been asking myself that question for several years now,” Came his terse reply. “But the Emperor’s will is not to be questioned.”

I sighed. “My lord, why did you call me here in the middle of the night?”

“You knew what Zaarin was planning didn’t you.” It was not a question. He did not bother to answer mine.

“I had an idea he wanted to take over the government but nothing concrete.” I told him. “The night he attacked me, he let his ambitions slip, but I didn’t know that he had planned to kidnap the Emperor. If I had I would have told someone,” I said and then I looked up at him, “I would have told you.”

He stood still and stared out of the window. “Admiral Thrawn mentioned that he thought Zaarin might try something to harm the Emperor. When I spoke of this to my Master he had simply smiled. He said everything was going according to his plan.”

I swear that in that single moment I knew a hatred of the Emperor like I had never known before. “Did he mean for this to happen? Did he know what Zaarin had planned?” I asked. “Did the Emperor plan this all along?”

Lord Vader shook his head slightly. “I have no idea but it would not be the first time he has put
such a plan in motion to serve his own needs. Zaarin was becoming a problem but to remove him would have been … difficult.” He paused for a second. “Demetrius Zaarin has powerful friends, enough of them who could make things annoyingly difficult for my Master.”

“So the Emperor set this up. He knew?” I pushed. I could not keep the bitterness or anger out of my voice.

“I believe he put certain events in motion.” Lord Vader agreed.

Suddenly I understood. A piece of puzzle fell into place. I felt my mouth go dry. “The Emperor made Thrawn a Grand Admiral but he didn’t tell anyone because he has no idea who will come out of this alive does?” I said through clenched teeth.

“No.” Lord Vader replied. The word sounded terrible to my ears. “The Emperor can see many things, predict many things but not everything and both Zaarin and Thrawn are evenly matched.”

I hissed and looked up at Darth Vader who had turned to look back at me. “I hate him.” I said very softly.

Lord Vader nodded. “I know.” Was all he replied. There was so much bitter emotion laced in those two words that I didn’t know what else to say. He knew better than anyone what games the Emperor played. Perhaps more so than anyone else in the entire galaxy, he had reason to loath Palpatine. I just brought my knees to my chest and hugged them, my chin resting on them while I looked up at Lord Vader.

“So now what?” I asked. “We just wait until someone wins?” I was furious.

“There is nothing else you can do.” He said simply. “Except your work, your training.” He added with a growl.

“If Thrawn dies….” I began.

“If Thrawn dies you will know heartache and sorrow which the Emperor will use.” Lord Vader said simply, cutting me off. “You have a strong, stubborn will which amuses my master but make no mistake you will be broken and then you will be his obedient and compliant servant.” There was a sorrow deep in his voice which he could not hide but I wasn’t sure the reason for it. “And what is more, you will be powerless to stop it from happening.”

“Why does he do these things?” I asked suddenly.

Lord Vader simply shook his head. “Because he can.” I was certain he had been asking himself this same question for as long as he could remember. “He manipulates people into doing his will all the while thinking they are doing it all on their own.”

“He did the same thing to you!” I blurted out suddenly, anger ruling over common sense.

“Of course. He wanted an apprentice who was powerful in the force so that he would have the strength to overthrow the government.”

“He did more than that to you; he twisted everything you loved into something he could use. How can you still serve him after what he did?”

The air rippled slightly. “What do you mean?”

“He toyed with you, lied to you!” I snapped. “He used how you felt for Padmé and he twisted it all around into something terrible and ugly!”

For a moment I was certain he would lash out and strike me. Usually any mention of his long dead wife brought about a sudden and violent anger. This time he held himself in check. “He did not kill her, I did.” He said bitterly.

I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”

That caught his attention. “Explain yourself!”

I told him about what I had seen at the compound of Wayland, what his lightsaber had shown me, the terrible fight with Obi Wan, his own anger at Padmé. As I spoke I could feel the room charge with his terrible sorrow and self loathing but before he could lash out I said. “But she wasn’t dead when Obi Wan left that planet.”

Vader whirled around so suddenly I flinched back from him in reflex. “My master told me she was dead, he told me I had killed her!”

I drew a deep breath. “That maybe part of the truth but it wasn’t your force choke that killed her. She gave birth to your son afterwards, so how could she have been dead on that terrible planet?”

The galaxy seemed to hold its breath. He had never thought on this before, he had been so utterly convinced he had killed his wife that he had never questioned it. What he had thought in that moment I could never have said. He had a son and Padmé had been alive to deliver that child, she had to have been. I had seen in the lightsaber’s memories, because Obi Wan had held it in his hand while he boarded her ship to leave Mustapha, that when he had taken off she was still living. He must have put the weapon away after that because this was the only secrets of this nature it had revealed to me and I had kept them hidden, not daring to tell to Emperor what I knew of his lies.

There was a long silence and I pulled my shawl closer around my shoulders. The library was cold and not well lit, the one light that was on was mainly for my benefit. I wondered if I should get up, go home. I had no idea what it was I was actually doing here. When Lord Vader summoned me I did not refuse but usually he had work for me to do, especially when it was this late at night. This odd conversation was unusual and unnerving. He turned his back on me once again and stared out of the window. The air was heavy between us.

I wondered, then, if he also got tired of Palpatine’s manipulations and found some small solace in my company. As far as I know I was the only person in his life who did not judge him or try to play him and while I feared his anger and his temper I was not afraid of him the way most everyone else in the galaxy was. I would never ask him about these things, so I doubted I would ever know but in all the time I had known Lord Vader, I had never felt closer to him that at this moment. It was a peculiar sensation considering who he was, given all that he had done but it was not discomforting. So, I just sat and looked up at him.

“My lord?” I asked in a voice that sounded very small to my ears.

He stayed statue still and I wondered at that moment if he would kill me for the sheer audacity of speaking my mind. He hated to be reminded of the past but it was a false past, created memories built upon lies from a man who wanted to own him and manipulate him like a puppet. I tried to get a sense of his thoughts through the force but he shut me out so hard it hurt. Still there was a bond between us, something that had been created from almost the first moment I had begun working for him and that was hard to break away from. I could sense on the edge of things his terrible burning anger and hate but now there was something else, something I could not define. It felt as if some of the weight he had been carrying around since the moment he had turned to the dark side shifted and I felt his rage recede.

I realised while sitting on the floor of his awful castle that I had given him some tiny measure of reprieve as well as something new to think about. I have said it before, he was not a stupid man but sometimes he was an awfully linear thinker and he had been so focused recently on his son he had forgotten the woman who had given birth to the boy. For a long time we stayed like that, he staring out of the window lost in thought and I seated on the floor looking up at him.

It was he who eventually broke the dreadful stillness. “You mentioned the Jedi skills, deep meditation. This is what you really wish to learn is it not.” It was not a question. He knew me enough to pick through my words and find the truth of things. The tie between us was strong, I didn’t understand it but I could not fight it either. Neither, it seemed, could he.

I nodded when he turned to look at me. “Yes, I think it is important.”

Surprisingly enough to me he did not argue with me or offer up and sarcasm. “Very well, I will tell you what I know, but you will not learn this technique in one night, it takes years to perfect.”

“Thank you.” I said relieved without knowing why.

“Master Kjestyll has taught you to center, to meditate?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Then do so and listen to what I have to tell you.”

“Yes, my lord.” I said. “But before we start can I ask you a question?”

“If you must.”

“Why am I really here?”

He looked at me for a moment. “Because I wished it.” He said simply. It was the truth, although not the entire explanation. I doubted I would ever really know the whole of it but the answer satisfied me enough to leave it alone.

“Now, are you ready to learn or do you wish to return home and wait for news of Thrawn’s fate on your own?”

I had no desire to return to the flat I shared with Thrawn and wait alone, awake all night to hear if he lived or died trying hunt down the man the Emperor had deliberately set up. I sighed and nodded and with that gave myself over to the meditation techniques that I had been taught, listening to Vader’s voice as he began to instruct me on a long forgotten ancient art. I wasn’t sure why I felt a driving need to delve deeper into these Jedi techniques but something in the back of my mind told me it was important. So far that nagging voice had not steered me wrong so I wasn’t about to stop listening to it now. I drew a deep breath and began to find my center. It wasn’t as difficult as one might think, given the current circumstances.

The Wrong Side of Right 5

2007-04-05T09:04:00.000+02:00

Time seemed to both drag and fly by all at the same time. I had no idea how such a thing was possible but it was. It had been nearly three weeks since the Emperor had left and a week since Thrawn had gone off planet in a hurry. His presence failed greatly. I had become spoiled with having him around so much. While I had made no complaint about his assignment he had known I was sad to see him leave. We had not spoken about it, after all what was there to say? It was his job, his duty and it came first above all else. I knew this but it did not make it any easier to let him go.

He had gone early in the morning, long before the sun had come up. I had lain curled up in the warmth of the bed we shared, aware of his quiet movements around the bedroom. He had woken me gently, whispering in my ear, kissing me lightly on the cheek as he made to leave. I was grateful for the dream like quality his going in the night always left. Good byes were not our forte and we didn’t make a big fuss. It was just easier this way.

I wasn’t sure what part of the galaxy he was being sent to but I knew it had something to do with Zaarin, although he had not actually said anything about it. We had been together long enough that I had learned to read him well enough and sometimes Thrawn told me more by what he didn’t say than the information he chose to give out. I wasn’t happy about this latest assignment. I did not think there was a single man who hated Thrawn more than Demetrius Zaarin. I wasn’t certain exactly how Thrawn felt about the Grand Admiral. He wasn’t a man to lay his feelings out in the open but I was reasonable sure the feelings Thrawn did have did not run towards the side of being friends. My last words to him before he had slipped out of the bedroom had simply been ‘Be careful.’

‘Always, tekari, always.’ Had been his soft reply.

Lord Vader concerned himself with the daily business of being on Coruscant without the Emperor’s presence. He was restless and easily irritated. I stayed out of his way as much as I was able to and ducked when I had to. The only thing that seemed to cheer him up was news that came from the investigator I had hired for him. What the nature of that news had been Lord Vader never said but after the dour faced investigator had left, the mood had eased considerably. I for one was grateful because I had just about all the Vader bad temper I could deal with.

For the most part Coruscant was its usual bustling self. The day to day business of palace intrigue and courtier life made life less dull and the gossip columns ran wild with speculation about Xizor and his new love. I might have shown more interest in what he was doing had I actually cared but Prince Xizor was someone I hoped would vanish off the face of the planet or better yet the universe. He was more often than not the cause Lord Vader’s foul moods and thus also mine. It astounded me how much this one man upset Lord Vader. Even worse was the fact that Lord Vader allowed this to happen. I spent my days divided between working from my palace office and working from Lord Vader’s home. It didn’t really matter where I worked, Lord Vader’s mood didn’t change. Life at the Imperial Palace went on as usual until the day Prince Xizor’s luck suddenly changed.

I was working from my office in the Palace, in the middle of answering a letter when a large resounding boom shattered the peace and quiet. It wasn’t unusual to hear such sounds as kids, joy riding low in their parent’s ships would skim the atmosphere at supersonic speeds, causing sonic booms to happen. The booms rattled windows and annoyed the people who lived in the upper parts of the city but were for the most part harmless. I didn’t think much about them to tell the truth but that changed when ten minutes later Shiv burst into the office nearly giving me a heart attack in the process.

“Damn it Shiv, why can’t you knock like everyone else!” I hissed irritated. “You scared the sandjiggers out of me!”

He completely ignored me, bounced over to the holo caster and turned it on. “You have to see what’s happening!” he said. “You’ll never believe it!”

I sighed as the News Net flickered on. I was about to tell Shiv I didn’t have time for this when I suddenly understood why he was in such a fluster.

The holo vid showed scenes of massive destruction and chaos. Black smoke billowed into the air and people were running around like confused eopies during a mass stampede. At first I wasn’t sure where this was being filmed but then it dawned on me I knew the area well, because it was very close to where Lord Vader’s castle was and not that far away from here.

“Almighty sarlacc, what the hell happened?” I asked, still staring at the images being shown. The palace Prince Xizor had called home had exploded. The area was a wreck, a lot of people had been killed and even more injured. The city was in an uproar. The last time something of this nature had happened, so the reporter said, was during the Clone Wars. There was an area wide lock down and people were being to be advised to stay home.

Shiv shook his head. “No idea.” He said. “I was watching the morning show when they broke in with a special announcement that there had been a massive explosion. It’s only now coming through that it is Xizor’s place.” He looked at me then sat down. “You don’t suppose that Vader did this do you?” He asked very quietly.

I shook my head. “Not his style.” I said. The images shown of the area where Xizor had once lived were beyond recognition. It must have been some explosion and then I remembered the large boom I had felt and heard

Shiv laughed. “He has a style?”

“Yep, that sneaky force choke you to death thing, definitely his style. He wouldn’t kill Xizor like this, too much work, too much planning.” How could I explain to Shiv that it just didn’t feel like Vader’s touch? This was something else. “Does anyone know if Xizor was in the building when it blew up? Anyone know if he is still alive?”

Shiv shrugged and we turned our attention back to the news hoping, like the rest of the planet, to hear more. While Prince Xizor was not the best loved member of the Imperial Court he was certainly one of the most prominent, his death would set the whole court buzzing. I wasn’t sure how the Royal court or the planet would react if it was discovered he was dead. Even worse I wasn’t sure how Lord Vader would react if it was discovered that he was still alive. For a moment I contemplated trying to get in touch with him at his home to tell him but I was certain he already knew. He had enough people spying on Xizor he didn’t need me for that and besides if he hadn’t been told he had certainly felt the blast.

The rest of the day passed in a bit of a blur. The HoloNet had gone mad with news casts, speculation and misinformation. Shiv and I ordered food in and spent the last of the afternoon glued to the holo screen. When I went home it was earlier than usual, to an empty flat. My head was still reeling from the news and when I switched on the holonet, the news was still stuck on the same subject. I sighed as I sat in the living room eating left over lunch and drinking a glass of nice wine. I had tried to reach Lord Vader before I had left the office but he had suddenly gone off planet. I suspected it had something to do with the whole Xizor affair but the man I spoke to was not terribly forthcoming about any information and I wasn’t really in the mood to care or push. I figured that I would eventually learn what I needed to, so I sat and just watched the news.

I suppose it should not have come as a surprise that what ever was going on with Xizor was not over yet. Once the initial fervour of reporting had died down and some semblance of normalcy returned to the programming, I curled up on the couch and watched a re-run of Wild Banthas. It was a very bad show about settlers trying to make a living on Tatooine when a special new bulletin broke into the show alleviating my tedium. I was suddenly wide awake.

-We interrupt this programme to bring you this special bulletin. We have just received word that Prince Xizor’s skyhook has been destroyed. There has been no official word yet if the Prince was on board his Skyhook but it is believed he may have been as his ship, The Virago, was seen in the immediate area. It is not know at this time if the persons responsible for this are the same as the group believed to be responsible for the destruction of Prince Xizor’s Coruscant home which was destroyed earlier today in a massive explosion. Coruscant Fire Patrol has issued a statement, that there is no danger from falling debris but people in the area are being told to stay indoors for their own safety... –

The reporter continued but I stopped listening. It was two in the morning but I called Shiv anyway. He wasn’t asleep.

“Are you seeing the news?” I asked before he had a chance to say anything.

“What the heck is going on?” He asked.

I shook my head. “I wish I knew.” I answered.

“Do you think he’s dead?” Shiv asked.

“I have no idea but he’d be lucky to survive two explosions in one day wouldn’t he?”

Shiv just nodded glumly. “This planet is going to hell!” he said a bit crossly.

“I don’t disagree.” I said as my work comm peeped. “I gotta go, see you tomorrow.” And I disconnected.

I answered my comm and the shimmering image of Lord Vader appeared on the holo emitter.

“Lord Vader, what can I do for you?”

“I take you have seen the news?” He growled.

“I have.”

“When is the Emperor expected to return?”

I dug out my datapad and looked up the date. “In three days, my lord, depending on his whim.” Lord Vader already knew this but I suspect he mostly wanted to gloat over Xizor’s misfortune. I had to ask. “Is the Prince dead?”

“I hope so, for his sake!” Lord Vader’s reply was terse but satisfied.

I had no idea how to answer this but I couldn’t say I would be sorry if it turned out that Xizor really was dead. He was a giant pain in the ass. “What can I do for you milord?” I asked again, knowing he had not gotten in touch with me simply to talk about Xizor.

“Cancel all my appointments for the next two weeks!” He said.

“Yes, my lord, is there anything else?”

“No. I shall advise you of any further changes tomorrow. You will work from my residence, do not be tardy!” He said and disconnected.

I sighed as I sat back on the couch. What a fun day tomorrow was going to be, I thought and with that I decided I should probably get some sleep.

The next day I went to work prepared to deal with Lord Vader’s general ire only to be pleasantly surprised, he was actually more or less cheerful.

When I asked what had happened with Xizor I did not really expect an answer but he told me all that he knew. It was quite a tale and I sat at my desk, my cold hands cupped around my mug of stimcaf listening while he recounted everything he knew.

It seemed that he had been right all along and Prince Xizor’s reasons for trying to worm his way into the upper echelons of the Imperial court were not just for personal gain and power but also for revenge. Many years ago Lord Vader had been involved in a project on the Falleen home world that deal with biological weapons. There had been an accident in one of the labs causing the release of a flesh eating bacterial toxin. In order to contain this outbreak Lord Vader had ordered the area destroyed. The city which had been included in this destruction had been home to all of Prince Xizor’s family and they had all been killed.

As Lord Vader told this story I shivered. He spoke coldly and without remorse. He had only been concerned with covering up the mess that had been made and not particularly concerned with the loss of life that resulted.

Prince Xizor had been off world at the time and had learned of the destruction too late to do anything about it so he had plotted his revenge. In order to hide his true identity he had had all records of his family wiped out and created for himself a new world, a new life as the secret head of Black Sun and in the open the owner of several shipping companies among other things. He had gained favour at the Imperial court and curried a place at the Emperor’s side with his cunning and guile. If the Emperor knew of Xizor’s true past and reasons for gaining favour at court he never once gave any hint of it away.

Lord Vader had been right all along in suspecting that the Prince had ulterior motives for his integration into the Emperor’s inner circle but that it revolved around revenge was a bit of a surprise. All this had been discovered only in the last couple of weeks when the investigator I had found him had unearthed the truth. It was then that Lord Vader put two and two together and fully understood that Xizor not only meant to destroy him, take his place at the Emperor’s side but also meant to take away his family by killing his son Luke.

Vader’s voice shook with rage as he told me the last part and there was a deep sense of smug satisfaction when he told me how Xizor had truly believed right up until the last second that fear of the Emperor’s wrath would stay Vader’s hand.

I smiled grimly at these words because I knew that as I pushed Vader, Vader also knew how far he could push the Emperor and some things were worth the punishment. It had been the Executor, on Vader’s command that had obliterated the prince’s skyhook. As to who had destroyed the prince’s palatial home Vader could only speculate. I felt the pride in his words when he murmured Luke Skywalker’s name.

“The Emperor will not be happy about this when he returns, my lord.” I said cautiously when he had finished speaking.

“I will deal with that. Xizor was a menace and my master is no fool but sometimes he does not see the world as I do.” Lord Vader growled. “Xizor paid for his pride and we are better off without the likes of him cluttering up the Imperial Court.”

I could only nod. I didn’t disagree. “What about Black Sun?”

Lord Vader regarded me for a moment and I swear I could sense his slow smile from underneath his mask. “There is always a bigger fish waiting in the shadows.” He replied. “A new leader will appear, mark my words. Now, girl enough babble. I have much to do and so do you!”

And with that my work day began. I hoped that things would calm down a bit now that Xizor was out of the way but that was just wishful thinking. All bad things seem to happen in threes so when the next bit of peace shattering news interrupted daily life, I wasn’t as surprised as maybe l should have been.

The Wrong Side of Right 4

2007-04-05T09:03:00.000+02:00

Sitting on the floor of the training room in Lord Vader’s home watching him practice was something I usually enjoyed but this evening I was tired. He had worked me hard and I ached all over. I leaned with my back against the wall and closed my eyes. In my mind I could see the lightsaber’s motion to match its sound and the slight sizzle as it sliced through the metal of the droids. I knew how he moved, I had watched him practice more times than I could count, and even with my eyes closed I knew his grace and dance.

He had forgotten I was there. I knew that because it happened almost all of the time, some part of his mind shut off as he worked himself against the droids he had design and everything else around him melted away. I let my thoughts drift back to the night I had bumped into the Emperor at the Jedi Temple. I wondered, as I sat in the dimly lit training room, what it was the Emperor truly wanted from the galaxy he ruled.

The Emperor had bade me follow him and I had done so, walking as was protocol, slightly behind him. He was alone but somewhere in the shadows had skulked at least two members of his Royal Guard, I had not see them but I had sensed their presence. He had walked slowly, the gnarled walking stick which he had leaned on had made rhythmic tap tap sounds as it struck the marble floor. His way back to the Palace was over ground via his personal transportation, not skulking through hidden tunnels. I had not opened my mouth to say a word nor had he. He had sat across from me with his eyes closed. I had stared out at the passing city, my emotions in a turmoil I could not quell, my head full of questions I could not ask out loud. When we stopped he had gestured for me to exit first. I took the hand of the young guard that offered to help me out without thinking and stood waiting as the Emperor had unfolded himself from the vehicle to continue walking.

“Come along child.” He had said.

I had followed him without question. It was a part of the palace I had never been in before and I marvelled at its beauty. I knew the style to be much older than even the part I was used to being in. He had modernised much of the palace but this place he had left alone. It was breath taking.

“Not many are permitted here.” He had said as we walked through the silent hallways. “This place has been left as it was at the very beginning of the Old Republic. I have always loved the architecture but it is impractical for our times, still a small part of history should remain, do you not agree, young Merlyn?”

“Yes, your Highness.” I had replied. It would have been a shame to lose all of the history left behind but, I wondered, what good is keeping it when only one person ever got to see it?

He had smiled and continued to walk until he came to a set of doors, ornate and hand carved from a beautiful dark wood. When he had opened the door and stepped back I had gasped.

“Yes,” he had crooned softly. “You may enter.” And so I had.

I had gazed about me like a small child at a pallie stand. This was one of the Emperor’s private collection rooms. I had heard he possessed such places, filled with treasures from across the Galaxy but I had never dreamed to even see one. I had looked about then, taking each piece that was being displayed, each a treasure, some I had known of some I had not but in the end it had been the piece displayed on a pedestal in the center of the large room that had held my gaze.

“Yes, I told you it had not been destroyed.” He had startled me with his words making me jump. I turned to look at him standing so close I could almost feel the heat from his stare.

I had only nodded dumbly then turned my gaze back to the little statue. The Waiting Dancer.

“Well, child would you squander your only chance? Move closer, look at it.”

I had done as he had said and stepped, hesitantly to the center of the room. The piece was quite small, but exquisite in its detail. The Maquette was no more than a hand or so tall. The little girl was seated on the floor, her hands clasped over her bent knee, upon which her chin rested, her other leg tucked underneath. She looked small and vulnerable, curled into herself until one looked at the face. It was the face of a young pupil staring up at a master she adored, waiting for instruction, waiting to be shown a move, waiting to be shown how to fly. Everything lay in Tarka-Null’s ability to sculpt expression. I leaned in to look at her face and saw my mother as she had been as a child. I had studied this piece from books and holograms all of my childhood life. I had dreamed of being a dancer, whisked away to fame by the Alderaan Dance Academy. A little girl’s dream, nothing more, but for many years my mother had lived it. A valued pupil of that once famous school prized and pampered until a fall had ended her career long before my father had stolen her heart.

She had told me the story of sitting for Tarka-Null many, many times because I had begged her to. Divulging her secret and urging me to keep it. I had begged her for every tiny detail she could remember, in some way living through her words this small moment of time. I knew why her hair had been styled the way it had, and what colour her dance tunic had been. I knew that the constricting shoes she wore which helped her stand upon the very tips of her toes had been new and had pinched even though she had never danced in them.

I had gazed upon the small replica of the woman who had raised me and the world around me vanished. I was not even aware that I was crying. I longed to touch it but dared not. Only when the Emperor spoke, his voice so soft it was almost a whisper that I might do as I so longed did I remembered where I was, and who I was with. For a moment I had paused, mid motion wondering what his price would be for this gift he was giving, then decided it did not matter.

If he had known, he had not said. I had reached and stroked the cool metal the statue had been cast from and welcomed the shock of images it had brought. Only when the statue finished telling me her side of the story did I break contact and step away. No wonder my mothered had always smiled when ever she had told this story. I had smiled then as well.

I had turned and looked into the eyes of the Emperor and meaning every word I had uttered, I thanked him.

“You are a creature of astonishing passions.” He said softly, “In a different age you would have made a great dark side adept.”

I swallowed and glanced away from his piercing gaze, looking back at the small work of art that had made my heart ache.

There had been a moment’s silence and then he had asked. “You knew who the model was?”

I nodded dumbly.

“Who was she to you?”

This puzzled me as I was sure he had known, but I had found no lie hidden in his words only idle curiosity. So I had answered him.

“She was my mother, the woman who raised me and taught me everything good and beautiful.”

“I always wondered who had modeled, it is not written anywhere and Tarka himself never spoke of her name.” He had said. “He would only smile when asked and comment about not revealing his muse.”

“I didn’t know.” And that was the truth. While my mother had said not many people knew about the truth of it, I had never fully taken her at face value. My mother had been full of such mischiefs and we had had plenty of secrets between us.

“Did you learn what you wanted to?” The Emperor’s voice had broken into my thoughts. Underneath his words I tasted longing. He really wanted to know.

So I had unfolded her story to him then, including some of the stories the statue had passed on to me, but not all of them. He listened with a slight smile.

“He had chosen her in secret.” I said. “He wanted the statue to be about the pose not the girl. She had modeled for him in a place of his choosing, his country estate. No one had known and she had lied to her parents about it. She took great delight in having this secret. Tarka-Null had given her a gift for her troubles and time, he had fashioned a tiny necklace for her, a small flower, which she wore until the day she was killed. Who the model had been had been the school’s greatest mystery, but I had not known it was also the galaxy’s.”

“I see you have been learning to better control your gift.” He said.

“Practice makes perfect.” I nodded reciting master Kjestyll’s words without thinking.

The Emperor had chuckled. “You are indeed every bit as fascinating as my favourite tactician finds you to be. No wonder he bridles whenever I mention your name. Such a distraction, I think, even he could not resist. It is an interesting weakness for such a strong willed man.”

Now, I had thought, we come to the truth of the matter. Thrawn. I had waited for more but surprisingly enough there was none. The Emperor regarded me for a few moments and I burned under the heat of his scrutiny, then in the blink of an eye he had seemed to grow weary.

“It is late, child, I am fatigued and I see sleep lurking behind your eyes. I will request that Lord Vader see to your training and when I return from my visit to the over see the new space station perhaps you and I will speak some more of art.”

“As you wish, your Highness.” I had said and because I hadn’t known what else to do I curtsied which made him chuckle.

“Yes, the woman who raised you taught you well. You may leave now and return home, he is waiting for you.” He had said. Somehow he had signalled for his guard who had entered the room crimson and silent. “Escort Miss Gabriel to the South entrance and see she is taken home safely.” And with those words he had dismissed me, turning his back to me to let his fingertips graze the small statue fondly. I had given him a gift; I had given him the answer to a long unanswered question. The Emperor did not like mysteries and he never left anything undone. When I had returned home, I found the Emperor had once again been right, and Thrawn had returned early. Still awake, he had waited up for me to come home. That reunion had been sweet.

Now, half asleep on the floor of Lord Vader’s training room I pondered this small piece of knowledge. Thrawn was just such a mystery and it occurred to me then that perhaps the Emperor was hoping I would be the key to unravel it but I knew he was wrong. Thrawn was too many things, I knew only a small part of them, only a small part of him and even then I would not betray him, I would rather die. If I was Thrawn’s weakness then he was my strength. It was at that moment, in the quiet of Lord Vader’s training room I understood how deep my feelings for Thrawn went. The realization was daunting.

I yawned and stirred. The sound of lightsaber and droids had st0pped. Lord Vader towered above me and nudged me with his boot.

“Get up, girl and go home. You are no good to me tired and I won’t have you littering up my floors like common street trash.” He said. “We will have plenty of work to do tomorrow, and I have no time to waste pandering to your fatigue.”

I got to my feet stiffly and did as he had ordered. I went home.

The Wrong Side of Right 3

2007-04-01T21:33:00.000+02:00

“I need an investigator!” Darth Vader snapped as he all but flew into my office.

I glanced up at him from my desk. “Imperial or private?”

“Private, the best there is. Do a complete records check!” He replied. He stalked to the window and stared out over the city. He stood statue still with his hands clasped behind his back. The sound of his breathing filled my office, which was a huge room, making it seem tiny and claustrophobic.

“Yes, my lord.” I said and began to access the Coruscant Business Listings Database. “Did the Emperor’s shuttle leave on time?”

“It did, he should return in three weeks.” He replied.

I scanned the listings and highlighted several names then began to cross check names through the Imperial database. “Will the new battle station be ready on time?” I asked as I fitted the small earpiece and microphone to my head.

“No, most likely not. The project is ambitious and the crews working on it are not living up to their full potential.”

I nodded to let him know I was listening to him and opened a line to the Intel office. “Hi, Kaytal, it’s Merlyn from Lord Vader’s office. Yes, I am sending over a list for complete background checks. I need the information as soon as possible.” I said to the young man on the other end. “Yep, the works. Hey, listen this will be the first of several lists, you okay with this?” Lord Vader turned around and looked at me, I ignored him, “Yes, it’s very important and yes he’ll have my head if it doesn’t get done in the next hour.” There was a moment’s pause then I heard what I wanted, “Excellent, you are amazing and I owe you one. Thanks.” I took off the headset and went back to scanning the listings.

“Impressive. You make people actually want to work for me.” He remarked.

“Well, actually they do it for me and I don’t make them do anything.” I told him as I sent Kaytal a second list.

“You work for me so they also are working for me.” He said firmly.

“Yes, my lord.” I grinned. I wasn’t about to shatter his illusions. He was in a good mood; I guessed that being left in charge of Coruscant made him happy. “So when I find the appropriate candidate what do I tell him?”

“I will meet with him in my castle.” He said. “That is all you need to know.”

I nodded. My computer flashed as Intel began to send information back. It always amazed me how fast Intel was with their background checks and how many people they had red flagged.

“I heard a rumour about you and Grand Admiral Zaarin.” Vader said. He had gone back to staring out of the window again.

“And which rumour would that be, because the last time I heard any gossip there were about five different stories circulating.”

“The one about you damaging him.”

“Ah, well he thought he could bed me without my permission and I showed him how difficult that would be with a painful a groin injury, among other things.”

To my surprise Vader just laughed. “Serves him right.”

I didn’t say anything and just kept on working but I couldn’t help the smile that snuck across my lips. “I suppose the Emperor told you this?” I asked.

“No but he did hint that something had occurred and that I should be more careful about who I allow you to play with.” He replied. “It appears you are of some value to him despite your short comings.”

“Well, if the Emperor’s boys played fair I wouldn’t have to damage them, they need to learn to take no for an answer. Good to know I am still of some worth, I guess. It’s nice to be needed.” I shot back before thinking.

“Speaking of need, I expect to see you for lightsaber practice tonight.” He said. “I have new combat remotes I wish to see in action and you need the practice.”

“Where?” I asked not looking at him, but concentrating on the work at hand.

“My castle training room is better suited for the havoc you usually wreck when you attempt to beat the remotes.” He said. “Maintenance complained about the mess you left last time in the main palace training hall, I had to pay for the damages.”

I had to stifle a giggle. I remembered that. The sprung wooden floor had not taken too kindly to my lightsaber skills or lack thereof and I had managed to put pretty decent scorch marks on a wall when I had attempted to practice the saber throw technique. The pesky remotes got smarter every time. More files flashed on my screen, I discarded all of them except the ones with the double green flag. There were not many so it narrowed the field down considerably. “Male or female?” I asked.

“Male.”

“Human or non human?” already knowing the answer. In general Lord Vader did not really have anything against aliens but he did not like working closely with them, and this dislike had only increased since the competition between he and Prince Xizor had gotten out of hand.

“Human.”

That narrowed my choices down to three. I read him the names and the specs and he chose the one I figured he would.

“Contact him and arrange a meeting as soon as possible.” He said. He did not move so I knew he wanted results here and now. It was not often that he waited in my office to get information or results but it did happen sometimes. It didn’t bother me the way it had the first few times he had done this, it just meant he was either hiding from the world in general and liked the peace and quiet in my office or he just wanted company. Whatever his reasons I took them as a compliment.

I slipped on the tiny earpiece again and got in touch with the investigator of Vader’s choice. The man was cold, professional and very polite. It took less than five minutes to set up the meeting.

“He will be at your home in an hour.” I said, sending all the details to a small datachip. He used the force to lift it from my fingers.

“You have done well.” He said. “Perhaps we will forego saber practice this evening, so if you have other plans you may….”

“I have no other plans, my lord and I could use the practice.” I cut him off, surprising him. I really wanted to learn the method of throwing a lit lightsaber and retrieving it. So far all my attempts at this technique had failed miserably. It was a lot harder to do than it looked. I still preferred to fight with a combat stave but Lord Vader had insisted that I continue learning to use my lightsaber. I was convinced he took a perverse sense of joy in watching me struggle with something he constantly told me small children had learned easily. I really didn’t have plans, my lesson with Master Kjestyll had been cancelled and Thrawn had gone off planet early in the morning. I had no idea when he was due to return, neither did he.

“As you wish.” He said with a slight shrug, “Be there promptly at eighteen hundred hours then, do not be late.” He replied and then he swept out of the room.

I would never know what it was that Lord Vader had asked the investigator to uncover but he was pleased with the man’s work. When I arrived, ready to train he had told me as much in his usual terse manner. Without much ado we sparred, dancing around the large airy room with the scent of burnt dust and the never ending thrum of the lightsabers heavy in the air. I both loved and hated this weapon but there was a subtle elegance to it that no other weapon I had ever seen had.

He was trying to teach me a complicated move that involved letting the lightsaber almost fly out of my hand as I spun it around. I was not getting the hang on it and it was frustrating me.

“You grip too hard, I have told you before. You need to trust the Force to guide you.” He said for the umpteenth time.

I made a face. This was easier said than done but I tried again, and again failing to execute the move to his desired perfection.

“Enough!” He finally snapped. “You can watch and learn now. Tomorrow I will teach you how to submerge yourself in the force, and some measure of control, as my Master has ordered me to.”

I was grateful for this, the three straight hours of rigorous training had taken their toll. I sat on the floor, and watched as he tried to show me what he could not teach me. I followed his movements and eventually saw where my mistake was, that didn’t mean I would be able to correct it but now I understood what he had meant. After this he ignored me and went about practicing on his own against the latest combat droids until he had forgotten I was there. Watching him wield his lightsaber never ceased to astonish me but in the dim light of the practice chamber my thoughts drifted to his comments about the Force.

I had been spending a great deal of time with my birth mother’s diary. Listening to her speak about all she had learned but there was some subtle mystery to the force that eluded me. As if I had learnt to sing a song in a foreign tongue well enough to pass for native speaker but had no idea what the words meant, thereby losing the meaning of the song. So it was with the force. I understood that I had a power and I even knew how to use some of it most of the time, but I was missing something, some basic element of training that perhaps would have made me a better student than I was. She had spoken of many force gifts, some, like the healing trance and force hibernation I had never heard of from Lord Vader. I had wanted to ask him but never found the right time. Instead I had decided to take investigative matters into my own hands and after searching the little library that the Emperor had afforded me and found nothing, I had gone then, frustrated and curious, to the Jedi Temple. I had not been prepared for what I had found.

A couple of days before the Emperor was due to leave, Lord Vader had been in a tizzy trying to get his meeting schedule sorted out. This meant it had been a very late, very frustrating, night for me. Thrawn was away on a short fact finding mission of some sorts and was not due back until the next day. When my work day had ended I was too tired to even bother going back home and had decided to crash at the palace flat instead but this bed was now strange to me and without Thrawn’s presence at my side or his scent lingering in the air I found myself restless and edgy.

Sleep would not come so I got up and made my way to the little library. It had been some time since I had been there. I had intended to read something but instead I had found myself inexplicable drawn to the secret passage way and before I had even realised what I was doing I had opened and it was already well on my way down the never ending stairs. I was half way there before it occurred to me that this might not be the greatest idea in the galaxy.

The Temple was quiet, not that I had expected anything else, but it had seemed to me that even the ghosts were hiding as if something had frightened them into submission and not the other way around. I had made my way through the labyrinth of corridors to the great library only to be stopped dead in my tracks once I was there.

It had been gutted. Utterly and completely. All the books, the holo books, the access terminals, everything was gone. All that had remained was dust and empty shelves. It had taken me a few moments to understand what I had seen and only when the realisation had finally taken root in my brain did my heart thump wildly in my chest. Dry mouthed and scared I had made my way to the small records room, activated the lock and opened the door. The room was dark and I had not needed light to tell what I had already known. This room had also been completely emptied of all its contents.

From somewhere deep inside of me a memory surfaced. I had dreamt this very scene and it scared me to the bone. There were no more answers to be found here and the urgent need to get out had never been stronger. I had left the little room quietly, quickly, watching my feet not where I was going and had bumped into someone before I had known they were standing there, waiting for me. To my good grace, I had managed not to scream and found the wits to drop to a curtsy as soon as I had figured out who it was.

“Get up child, there is no need of court formalities here.” The Emperor’s soft voice echoed about the empty library.

“Your Highness.” I had whispered, my voice sounded small and scared to my ears. I had done as he had asked and stood up.

“You come here often, do you not.” It was not really a question but I had answered him any way.

“Sometimes, yes though not often.”

“What is it you seek here?” He had asked beginning to walk in the direction opposite to the main entrance.

“Answers.” I had blurted out before I could think about what I really wanted to say.

“Answers,” He had smiled, “But what are your questions? This I think you do not know.”

It was true. I had come looking for answers but I really didn’t know what I was asking any more. I knew who I was, I knew who my birth parents were and I knew the history of this place, the terrible tragedy that had unfolded here. What more could there be to learn from this place? Why had I come back? I had not known.

“All the books and records,” I had said instead of answering him, “Everything is gone.”

I had felt his smile rather than seen it. “Yes, I had everything moved to a more secure place. You know this building is condemned. It is not safe here and I would hate to think of such valuable information falling into the wrong hands.” I had been about to speak but he had continued, “Not that I fear you would do anything wrong, my child, but there are many who would. Not everyone is as loyal to me or my empire as you.”

He had answered my question before I even had a chance to ask it.

“So tell me, what has brought you here to this place in the middle of the night?” he asked.

“I keep hoping to find out more about who I am, I guess.” It had been an easy lie because it was mostly the truth.

“Ah yes, daughter of a Jedi and a clone. What do you wish to know?”

I had shivered then, he had known as I had suspected, where I had come from. “Well, I would like to learn how to use the force better than I do. I have heard tales about the Jedi being able to do amazing things, like fall into trances that could heal them of wounds and illnesses, to see into the future and even come back from the dead”

“And you would learn these tricks?” He had asked softly.

There was a catch in his voice and I had not liked how it had made me feel, the cold goose bumps that prickled up and down my spine made my answer cautious. “I would learn control.” I had replied and the tension in the room had eased, letting me know it had been the right answer to give. “I know I have some small talent but it’s wild and unpredictable.”

“The Jedi robbed cradles to train their kind young.” Palpatine’s voice was full of disgust as he spoke of the Jedi.

I didn’t have anything to say to this so I simply nodded. He continued but the sharp edge had gone from his words.

“You are far too old to begin any such training now, but control could be learned if you were willing to work hard.”

I had glanced at him, he had stopped walking and had looked at me with that penetrating stare which always made my brain itch. “I am always willing to work hard, your Highness.”

He had smiled that terrible, broken smile of his and nodded. “Then I will have Vader instruct you on matters of control, perhaps in doing so he will remember some of his own lessons learned from before. His control over his desires has been a little lacking of late.”

I had not answered this. I would not be forced to speak ill of Lord Vader no matter what I felt, especially to the man who had twisted Vader what he was today. This amused the Emperor to no end.

“Are you not tired child?” Palpatine had asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between us.

“A little but sometimes I just can’t sleep.” And that was the truth.

“Ah yes, and Thrawn is away.” He had said more to himself than to me. I had felt a stab of loathing shoot through me. What did Palpatine know of love and longing? I was certain the man had never loved anything except power in his life. It irked me to hear him speak Thrawn’s name in such a way and Thrawn’s absence was not the cause of my lack of sleep. Wisely, I had held my tongue and the Emperor had continued, “Well then, now would be as good a time as any to bring out that rare smile of yours, come with me.” He had said. “I have something to show you.”

The Wrong Side of Right 2

2007-03-29T11:20:00.000+02:00

“When did you get back?” I asked, turning around to see him come in the training room. I could not contain my pleasure at seeing Thrawn’s face, when his eyes met mine he, too, smiled. He had been off world long enough that I had missed him.

“About three hours ago.”

“How long are you staying?”

He ran his fingers through his hair; he hadn’t had it cut in a while and I thought it looked good. “I am not sure, a few days perhaps. It depends on the Emperor and how the meetings and planning sessions I must attend develop.”

I grinned. “Well, I won’t complain.” I said. I was sitting on the wooden floor bathed in the sunlight which shone through the windows. “How did you know I was in here?”

“I passed Taisto Kjestyll on my way to your office. He said, “And I quote, she is exercising some demons, you might want to tread lightly. But it seems to me that you are just doing your bearded-jax imitation and finding the sunniest spot in the room to bask in.”

I grinned as I lay back on the floor and stretched out as fully as I could. It felt so good that I never wanted to stop. “When Master Kjestyll says I was exercising demons what he really means is that he spent two hours straight kicking my ass. I get the feeling that the turn Merlyn into a deadly fighting machine isn’t going as well as everyone planned. I’m just not that good.” I said when I sat up.

Thrawn squatted down beside me, his elbows resting on his knees. “The people you get compared to have been in hard training most of their lives. You have only been at this a few years and even then only part time. Besides, when you need to, you can be quite … formidable.”

“Why are you here anyway?” I asked, looking up at him with a grin. “I would have thought you’d have gone home. I’d be there soon enough.” I reached over for my feet and stretched out over my legs.

“My presence has been requested at an exclusive art exhibition tonight by the Emperor. He suggested I bring you. I thought you might like some lead time to get ready; it is a dress up affair. I was not sure if you had other plans or if you’d be working late so I had no idea when you would be home and your comm is off.”

“Oh, didn’t the Emperor go off world to oversee the construction of that new toy of his like the rumours are saying?” The Emperor had become somewhat reclusive and no one had actually seen him for a while. The whispers were that he was unwell and maybe even dying but I knew better. I had known that he planned to go to the new battle Station and sort out the lagging mess the construction had become but no one knew when he was leaving or if he had already left.

“Apparently not yet.” He said with a slight shrug, “Has Lord Vader returned to the Core? I must discuss some issues with him.”

“He was here briefly after his trip out to the Kothlis system but then he left again almost right afterwards. The Emperor gave him permission to go search for Skywalker. I don’t know when he’ll be back.”

“I see.” He said. “So, I suppose this means that things have been relatively peaceful while I have been gone?”

“Are you asking for gossip?”

He arched an eyebrow and smiled. “Not intentionally.”

“Well, lets see… Grand Admiral Zaarin has pretty much vanished from Imperial court life. The rumour now is that he has closed out all communications and no one knows what is going on with the SRD. Lord Vader wanted to send out agents to investigate this but the Emperor told him not to; needless to say he wasn’t thrilled with this. He thinks that Zaarin is up to something big but doesn’t know what. And no, I didn’t say anything, before you ask. I figured it was none of my business and I want to stay out of it. I am a bit scared that if Vader thinks I know something he’ll send me out to spy on Zaarin under the guise of delivering a message or something.” I said with a sigh. “Of course, Lord Vader is his usual unhappy self. He came back from the trip out to Kothlis furious! Luke had escaped, and no one could find him and he had no one to really blame as somehow there were pirates or mercenaries or some such bad guys involved. He wasn’t too specific. He also thinks that Xizor is behind it all, as usual. I don’t want to be in Xizor’s shoes if that’s really the case, because if it is, Lord Vader won’t give a Jawa’s damn about upsetting the Emperor by eliminating Xizor. I suppose this war between them would be funny by now if it weren’t so damned annoying. I am just getting tired of hearing Lord Vader bitch about Xizor all the time, you’d think the second most powerful man in the galaxy would just deal with it and not simply keep complaining about it. Xizor, on the other hand seems to relish all the backstabbing snarkiness. You should hear how polite he can be now, it’s like being polite has become the new way of being rude. Oh and on top of it all he is rumoured to have a new love interest but no one knows who it…”

He put up a hand to stop me, unable to hide his amusement. “I get the picture, so about the exhibition tonight?”

“Whose work is being showcased?” I asked.

“Tarka-Null.”

That got my attention. “The sculptor?”

He nodded. “Are you interested?”

I was but I made a face. “Does it matter? Usually if the Emperor suggests something it’s more of a polite order than a suggestion.” I sat back with my palms flat on the floor. “I just think he likes making us come to these things as a couple to paint big shiny targets on our backs for the Daily Digest. I feel like we are his entertainment sometimes.”

Thrawn gave me a slight smile that never quite met his eyes and then he stood up. “As you say, does it matter?” his voice held that crispness of distaste in it that I knew meant he didn’t want to discuss the Emperor’s whims or wishes. “It will be an evening out and a chance to see some of the best sculptures in the galaxy.”

He was right, what did the reasons behind it matter? “Will The Waiting Dancer be among the collection?” I asked offering my hand so he could help me up.

“I don’t know.” He told me, pulling me to my feet. “I have not seen the collection’s datalogue, but it is one of his most well known yes mysterious pieces so chances are good it will be there. Is it a piece you like?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

I grinned knowing he would find my answer funny. “Because it always reminds me of me when I was six or so and desperately wanted to be a fluttery little dancer.” I made dancer like motions with my hands.

His eyebrow arched. “Indeed?”

“You don’t like it?” I asked as I stripped off my sweat soaked things and changed into dry clothes. I’d shower when I got home.

“I find it lacks some of the more delicate quality of his later works.” He turned his back to me while I changed and looked out of the window. “But I have never seen the original, only holos of it.”

“You know it isn’t really considered a sculpture. It was actually a Maquette for a commissioned piece.” I said, picking up my things and putting them in my bag.

“Really? No, I actually did not know that.” He said as we walked out of the training room. “That would explain the lesser detailing then.”

“My mother told me about it. He was supposed to complete a life sized version for the Alderaan Dance Academy, but it never happened and only the study exists.”

“I have never read this information in any of the literature about him. How do you know this?”

I grinned as we left the palace, “Because my mother was the girl who posed for the piece, she told me all about it.”

He chuckled. “Your family is just full of surprises.”

“What time are we expected this evening?” I asked, waiting while he unlocked his speeder.

“At twenty-two hundred hours.” He said. I just grimaced as we pulled out into Coruscanti traffic.

“Great, I have an hour to get something to eat, shower and make myself look like one of Coruscant’s elite and beautiful. You realise you’re asking for miracles, don’t you.”

He chuckled. “I have the food part taken care of, your ability to shower in under ten minutes has astounded me before and as for turning into Miss Coruscant, well you can work wonders under pressure, I know I’ve seen you do it.”

I just shook my head. There was no competing with his logic and, of course he was more or less right. By the time I had showered, he had a light, quick meal ready to eat, after which I vanished into the bedroom to turn from Rim-Girl to beauty queen, no easy task.

It was not unusual for the Emperor to arrange private collections shows, usually as fundraisers. The wealthy and elite of Coruscant were more than happy to shower money on these endeavours if it got them the chance to rub shoulders with other rich and famous as well as be seen in the company of the Emperor. It was an old game, buying favour and power with wealth.

These venues were always interesting and often unusual. This one was no exception, being held in an old power plant that had been converted into expensive offices and studios in the area known as The Works. I was glad that Thrawn knew where he was going because I found The Works a total maze to navigate.

The gallery space was large and airy, typical for a remodelled production plant. The new design had cleverly incorporated the aspects that made these sorts of building special while modernizing it so that the space was comfortable to be in. The reception itself was much larger than I had thought it would be and the despite the room’s vast size it was very crowded.

We walked through the crowd and mingled politely. It was easy to keep quiet as no one really spoke directly to me. Part of being palace fluff was being seen but not heard. I smiled a lot and sipped at the odd orange drink that I had been handed by the waiter. It tasted like a mixture of melon fruit, kiki berries and saqui liquor. It was potent and prickled on my tongue. I thought it was cute how they had decorated the glass with tabjio flowers.

I walked around the room beside Thrawn as he made polite small talk with various dignitaries and their wives or female companion and looked at the sculptures that were displayed around the room. Most of the works were from Tarka-Null’s later years and the one piece I had hoped to see was not amongst the collection.

I was lost in thought when Thrawn nudged my arm and I looked up to see the Emperor approaching. I suppressed the urge to shiver and smiled as I curtsied. The Emperor acknowledged Thrawn with a slight wave of his hand and turned to address me.

“You look lovely this evening my dear.” He said as he gestured for me to get up.

“Thank-you, your Highness.”

“And how do you like this exhibition.” He asked me.

“It’s a stunning collection of his works.” I said honestly. “I had no idea how beautiful some of these pieces were until I was able to see them with my own eyes.”

“But you sound a little disappointed.” He remarked.

I smiled to cover up my surprise. “Not at all, your Highness. I feel very lucky to have been able to view these pieces. Tarka-Null was one of the galaxy’s greatest artists.”

He chuckled. “Yes he was.” He had begun to walk and had gestured for me to walk with him. Thrawn, who had not been included in this conversation, remained where he was and continued to banter with the couple he had been speaking with. “You are familiar with his works then?”

“Yes, my mother was very fond of him and she passed that love of his art on to me. We have many books on his works at home on Tatooine.”

“Indeed.” He said. “But I still sense you hoped for something more?” The Emperor asked as we stopped to look at one of the larger more abstract pieces.

“Your Excellency does not miss much.” I said quietly. I could feel him digging, a subtle brush of his mind against mine. It felt like meat grubs boring into my brain.

The Emperor smiled slowly, “You, my dear child, are an open book to me.” He said. “So tell me, what piece is missing that you wished to see?”

“The Waiting Dancer.” I said. “Though technically it isn’t actually considered a sculpture the way the others are. I had heard it was not on Alderaan when the planet was destroyed. So I thought it might be showcased here. ”

He nodded and seemed to sigh. “Ah yes, that is an exquisite little piece.” He said, “And no I don’t believe it was destroyed in that unfortunate accident. Why are you so interested in it? It is, as you say, not considered a sculpture but rather simply a study for one that was never completed. ”

“It reminds of me when I was small. I had wanted to be a dancer. I suppose it also reminds me of my mother.” I told him. It was the truth it just wasn’t the whole truth.

“Well, in that case we shall have to arrange for you to view the piece you so obviously adore.” He said kindly.

I glanced at him, surprised. “That would be lovely.”

His expression turned to amusement. “If it would make you smile like that for me, then I shall most definitely arrange it.” He spoke in that avuncular tone which made my skin crawl. “Are you feeling better?” He asked.

“Your Highness?” he had caught me off guard with his question. My surprise was not feigned.

“I heard that you left the reception for the new assembly wing early. Siavaan mentioned you were taken ill. I remember you said you had had an accident, I hope it was nothing serious.”

I glanced at him. “I tripped, banged my head and ended up with a headache.” I lied and I suspected he knew that.

“Perhaps you were coming down with the same thing that afflicted Grand Admiral Zaarin, he was also not feeling so well when he attended the reception.”

“Oh, really? I am sorry to hear that.” I said carefully. “I hope that he recovers.” Actually I was sort of hoping he’d rot in the nine Corellian Hells but that was another matter.

“Yes, I’m sure you do, my dear.” The Emperor chuckled. “I would not trouble myself over his health if I were you; Grand Admiral Zaarin has a strong constitution. I am sure it would take more than a little run in with some minor health issues to bring him down.” He glanced at me and smiled. “You have had quite the effect on my Imperial officers; he also seems quite taken with you.”

I feigned shyness and looked away. “I was under the impression that the Grand Admiral wasn’t really interested in anything other than his career.”

Palpatine’s soft laugh gave me goose bumps. “Yes, his ambitions do seem to want to get the better of him some days. Still he is a valuable part of the Empire, as are all employees under my care. I would be most displeased should any serious harm come to those I need and have use. Zaarin plays his part in the Empire, as do you, my dear. ” He stopped walking for a moment and paused to look at me. His words were pleasant and the tone of his conversation light but the reproach and warning behind it all did not escape me. I got the message. I wasn’t sure quite how to react so I just gave him a smile and I made it reach my eyes.

“I can’t imagine anyone wanting to displease you, your Highness.” I said after a moment’s silence.

“Of course not, child,” He said patting my arm. “Now, why don’t you run along and rejoin Admiral Thrawn. I know how much he enjoys your delightful companionship and how precious your time with him is. I should attend to my guests but we will speak again soon enough.”

“As you wish, your Highness.” I dropped a polite curtsy and stepped back to let him pass. Then meandered back to where Thrawn stood.

The wife of the man he was speaking to turned to me and smiled. I exchanged my empty drink glass with a full one from a passing waiter and took a healthy gulp. Thrawn watched me for a moment carefully and I knew he had noticed my trembling hands. The woman standing next to her husband began to chatter to me about how wonderful the collection was, how pretty my dress was and how wonderful it was to see the Emperor in such fine form. While I was grateful for the distraction, I wondered if she ever stopped talking long enough to breathe. For the most part I just stood quietly and nodded politely. Out of the corner of my eye I caught Thrawn’s slight, sly smile as he covertly watched me hide my bored annoyance. The rest of the evening was completely uneventful and I was grateful when we were able to leave.

We drove back to the flat in silence and I was more than happy to get out of the dress up finery when we were finally home. It felt like shedding a mask or a costume. When I joined Thrawn in the living room he was sitting in a chair, having changed from his uniform to sleepwear he looked less austere and tense. He had poured me a brandy. I took it from his hand and sat across from him.

He had made it clear on the way back to the flat he wanted to know what had happened after Bespin, wanted to know what the Emperor had done to me to make me even more scared of him than I previously had been. I had told him I did not want to talk about it but Thrawn was insistent and he wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He, perhaps better than anyone else, knew how well I bottled things up inside and what that did to me. For reasons I didn’t understand he had made it his mission to draw out the poisons which damaged my soul. I never knew whether or not to be grateful or resentful, even though after talking about these things that worried at me, helped.

In truth, it was almost a relief to be able to speak of the unspeakable. To unfold the story that had been told to me by the lightsaber Luke had held. My hands shook and sometimes I had to fight to find the right words to try and describe what I had seen. Thrawn was well aware of what my talent for reading the memories of objects did to me and was patient. Once before, I had actually shared my gift with him, physically showing him the same images I had seen and it had shaken him to the core. Thrawn listened quietly without interruption until I was done. For what seemed like forever he remained silent and thoughtful. I could not tell if he was angry, upset about or just contemplating what I had told him. I swirled the brandy around in the glass, waiting for him to break the silence because I had nothing else to say.

“Did Vader tell him about this nasty little talent of yours?” He finally asked watching me closely, cupping his brandy glass in his hand.

I glanced at him. “No, in fact he suggested it was you who did that.”

He let out a slow, deep breath and sat back in the chair. His expression was unreadable but his eyes, which had never left my face, turned cold and hard. “What do you believe?” he asked.

“I believe that the Emperor found out somehow, but really how he did doesn’t really matter. I was the one who confirmed it for him. I don’t believe that the information came from you or Lord Vader. The Emperor has eyes and ears everywhere; it was bound to happen sooner or later. It’s possible he’s known for a really long time but never had anything he wished to test me on before.” I sipped my brandy slowly. “In the end it doesn’t matter. He knows what I can do and when he needs to he’ll use it.”

He nodded slowly. “He did not learn this information from me, tekari.” There was a sadness in his voice which I didn’t like hearing.

I had not thought this the case but I was glad to hear him confirm it. Still, something else nagged at me. “Did you mention to anyone about what happened between Zaarin and me?”

“No. Why?”

“I get the feeling that the he knew what had happened, just something about how he talked about the Admiral. You know how the Emperor can be sometimes, always some subtle message underneath the spoken words.”

“That would not surprise me.” He said. “Zaarin has caught the eye of the Emperor as of late with some of his more unorthodox methods of work. It is no secret that he had an interest in you just as your distaste for him was fairly obvious. The Emperor is not a stupid man; he could have put two and two together given how you were both behaving at the reception.” He said. “I am certain that he is watching his entire High Command staff very carefully. There are a lot of undercurrents going on within the Imperial ranks at the moment. Admiral Harkov’s defection was more damaging than first suspected.”

“Why do you think he did it?”

“Harkov?”

I nodded.

“Who can really say? He stopped believing in the system? Perhaps it was the arrest and execution of his nephew that was the final trigger but I suspect he had been planning betraying the Empire for some time.” He said. “What would make a man turn against everything he has known? You would have to ask him this question, not me.”

“Has it always been like this?”

“Like what?” He asked.

“Complicated and mixed up with all this suspicion and lies, all the back stabbing and double dealing.” We had had this conversation before but somehow I could not wrap my head around it all.

“For as long as I have been a part of this Empire there have been these games.” He replied. “But this is normal. I know of no society that does not have some aspect of this dance. Surely you must have seen something similar when you worked at Jabba’s Palace?”

“I was aware of it but most of the time it didn’t affect me, at least not until it landed me a job working for lord Vader. I just tried to avoid it all as much as possible.” I said. “Why does this happen? Why aren’t people just happy with what they have?”

He smiled slightly and looked at the brandy left in his glass, swirling it around in lazy circles. “I have no answer for that question. The lust for power does odd things to sentient beings. Fear, greed, ambition all set that drive for more. The easy answer is that it is our base nature for survival. He who has more, is stronger, has the biggest army, the most food survives longer.”

“It reminds me of scyks fighting over a carcass.” I said.

“An apt description.” He agreed.

“What about you?” I asked. “You also play these games.”

He regarded me for a moment. “I do.” He said slowly, “Because they are a means to an end. I am here doing the work that I do because my own people would not allow me the freedom to accomplish certain things at home. Power and a high rank, having the commands I do as well as the favour of the Emperor allow me to better prepare for any eventualities which may come.”

“You’ve mentioned this before but you don’t elaborate. You hint at threats but you never say what they are.”

He nodded. “This galaxy is full of dangers most beings, especially humans never even dream of. They feel safe, protected by the Empire, tucked away behind the security of a well armed navy. And while a little more thought should be given to these dangers which lurk out there it is more likely an invasion will come from outside our own galaxy.” He said, “Living beyond the borders of unknown space, beyond the boundary that defines this galaxy, is an enemy so ferocious that fighting it will take all of our collective minds and strengths to even contemplate defeating them.” He paused. “My people have had contact with these beings and judging by the ferocity with which the small reconnaissance force fought the Chiss, to come up against an invasion of these beings would be an unthinkable disaster were the worlds of this galaxy not allied and working together as one. Under the Empire the armed forces are strong and organised.”

“Does the Emperor know about this potential enemy?”

“He is aware of the threat.” He conceded after a moment’s silence. There was something in his voice I didn’t much like.

“This enemy, these beings, they worry you a little don’t they?”

“That would be an understatement, my dear. These far outsiders, as they have been called, are of great concern to me. I am aware of what one small recon force was able to do to a highly trained military response team. The Chiss military is one of the best there is and they were hard put to deal with this enemy. Believe me when I say I do not wish to see any more of these beings cross into this galaxy but I fear that will be inevitable.”

Knowing that he felt this way did nothing to comfort me at all. I always thought of him as fearless. I sighed and sipped at my brandy. In light of the conversation we had just had, my own problems did not seem so important any more.

He read that in my face and gestured for me to come to him. “These are worries we can leave for another day and preparations are being made to deal with the possibility of an invasion.” He said as he set his glass down on the table.

“You sound pretty sure of yourself.” I said taking the hand he offered, not resisting when he pulled me onto his lap.

“I, along with others, am doing all I can to ensure the safety of the galaxy is in hand.” He said gently. “A little trust, my dear.”

It was a phrase I was used to hearing from him and it always managed to make me smile and shake my head at the same time. It was also his way of gently telling me that he didn’t wish to speak about politics or our jobs any more. I could not blame him, he dealt with these subjects day in day out, coming home was a respite he welcomed. Sometimes, he had told me, what he needed the most was quiet and calm away from the daily machinations of the Emperor and his empire. That he found solace in my presence had touched me deeply. I didn’t push when he changed or shut down the topic of work.

I thought about what he had said, a little trust… but trusting him was not the issue, I did trust him more than I ever wanted to say, it was almost everyone else who worked around the Emperor that I worried about. It was a lot to think about and my mind buzzed as I rested my head against his shoulder. He didn’t say anything else, he didn’t have to. His hands were warm upon the skin of my back and I shivered when he nuzzled my neck, kissing that sensitive place below my ear which always made my skin prickle and me gasp. It was an effective way to direct my thoughts in another direction. Sometimes, I thought ruefully, he knew me just a little too well.

Later, as we lay curled about each other in bed; it seemed to me that even in the quiet of the night there was no peace. My fingers traced up and down his bare chest idly because I was restless but in difference to his usual methods to try and lull me into sleep this time he absently stroked my hair and we lay together in silence. His earlier words had troubled me; his own worry infected my thoughts. In light of what we had spoken of, the Emperor’s seemingly endless plots and plans did not seem quite so evil minded. This didn’t mean I liked him any better or feared him any less but it did paint a different image of what he was attempting to do, if what Thrawn had said was true. I suppose the conversation and these concerns also weighed on Thrawn’s mind as well, because he, too, was wide awake, troubled and lost in thought.

The Wrong Side of Right 1

2007-03-26T08:30:00.000+02:00

As I had suspected there were no repercussions from Zaarin’s attack. I had gone back to work as though everything was normal and no one was the wiser. Aside from Thrawn, the only other person I told about the incident was Shiv. He had been horrified but not surprised and his only comment about it all had been; “Remind me never to piss you off, kiddo.”

Grand Admiral Zaarin had vanished back off to where ever it was he had been stationed without a word. I was grateful for that; I didn’t really want to face him again although I was sure the feeling was probably mutual. Not only had I hurt him physically but it had been a pretty major blow to his ego. Most men, it had been my experience, didn’t like getting their asses kicked by a girl.

Lord Vader came and went as his missions dictated occasionally I accompanied him but more often than not I was left behind which I mostly didn’t mind. His focus was on catching his son but the Emperor kept holding him back, sending him on other missions that often had lots to do with Prince Xizor. This did nothing to improve his already bad mood. Occasionally, I got a call to ferry something out to him or meet him somewhere in the galaxy. Sometimes I used a lambda class shuttle, if one was available, and sometimes I used my own ship. While it wrecked havoc on my schedule I didn’t mind. It was good for my piloting skills and helped me keep up the mandatory hours I needed to maintain my pilot’s papers. The last trip I had made out to meet him had also been one of the weirdest.

Lord Vader had been campaigning in the Outer Rim, near Shalyvane. Rebels had discovered the Emperor’s desire to capture a strange, mythical creature called a teezl which was supposed to be a non-sentiment, creature that could be used as a natural hyperspace communications amplifier. It had sounded like a bunch of bantha poodoo to me when I had heard about it and Lord Vader was also sceptical but the Emperor had been quite insistent one of these things be found and captured, much to my surprise this had actually been done. During the skirmish between the rebels and the Imperials that had ensued over this galactic oddity many pilots had been injured or killed because the rebels had somehow managed to get a hold of TIE codes and the chaos that caused was incredible. The pilot casualty list had been greater than usual and the atmosphere on board the flag ship had not been good. Lord Vader had been fairly insistent that I stay out of the way, he was busy enough, he had said without me being under foot as well. That was fine with me; he had been driving me crazy anyway.

Shortly after the battle over the teezl, we had ended up in a huge argument that had started over a mixed up delivery but had ended with him pointing out all my flaws as a student to the darkside. He had not been very impressed when I had pointed out that he could either have me as a student or as an assistant but there wasn’t enough time in the galaxy for me to be both and it wasn’t my fault that he wasn’t the best teacher in the galaxy. Needless to say, after this he had ranted at great length about why I was such a terrible student and that he did not know why he ever put up with me. The discussion had escalated into a true yelling match, the air between us fairly crackled ended with him storming out of my office and me being riled up enough to throw the nearest datalogue at him, after he had gone and the door had closed.

I had been so annoyed and angry that sitting down and getting back to work had been impossible so instead I had decided to go and work off some energy but I instead of ending up in the training room, I had wandered into a small secret medical facility. I had been so cross that I had taken a wrong turn, had not noticed where I was and had high enough clearance that the door opened for me.

I had known I was not supposed to be in the med lab the moment I had entered. It had that kind of feel to it, but the medical droids who had been fussing about the bacta tank had merely glanced at me briefly and then gone back to their work, monitoring the patient within.

Inside of the bacta tank had been a young woman. When I’d stopped and stared at her I had realised with a sudden knot in my gut that, despite the terrible injuries, I knew her face from an image I had seen while talking to Jorae. She had been an Imperial agent named Shira Brie. I could feel her strength as she fought for her life. She was a very powerful force user and I wondered if it had been that energy which had drawn me to find her there.

I don’t recall how long I had stood there and watched her. I would never be sure if she had been aware of what had happened to her or not, but I had hoped not, I had hoped that Lord Vader had allowed her to be sedated and on pain meds unlike when the Emperor had taken care of him. In a bacta tank one was doped up pretty good and her condition was critical. She had been horribly burned and had lost limbs in the space battle. Part of me had felt sorry for her and part of me had been morbidly fascinated about what would happen to her next. I had been deep in thought when Lord Vader came in to check on her. He had not been pleased to see me there and I had felt the ripple of his anger keenly but I had ignored it and had chosen to let my own curiosity override my need to get out of shouting distance.

“Will she live?” I had asked him before he could chastise me for being in a place I wasn’t supposed to be.

He had glared at me then went back to staring at the girl in the bacta tank, his thumbs hooked into his belt, his annoyance at me more or less contained. “Yes.” He answered after a lengthy silence.

“She’s a force user, isn’t she?”

He had seemed to sigh. “Yes she is.” He’d said, “Quite powerful, far more so than you are.”

I had ignored his barb. “What will happen to her?”

A moment of silence passed then he had answered. “She will be returned to Coruscant and have reconstructive surgery, cybernetic implants and then she will be retrained.”

I had shivered. “Retrained?”

My questions and my presence in this secret little medical lab had not been welcome and he grew impatient with my questions. When he’d answered me it was not friendly. “She is everything you are not.” He had said snarkily. “Her force potential is great and her will to work hard and learn all that I and my master can teach is great, unlike you, she does not question every single little thing that happens to her and she thirsts for knowledge. Despite her injuries she will become a great student of the dark side of the force. She will be a powerful agent for the Empire.” As he spoke I could feel the pride in his voice. He admired her for her strengths, for her ability to survive her catastrophic injuries and the student she might become. “Her ambitions will make her great, unlike like you….” He had not bothered to finish his sentence. I knew he felt I was a bit of a failure when it came to developing my force abilities. Although, his words had stung, as I had stood there looking at the damaged body of the woman he planned on reshaping in his own image, I had realised that what she was, I never, ever wanted to be and if that meant disappointing Lord Vader then that had been okay with me.

I had been grateful when we had returned to the Core and I could resume my normal routines and work. Shira Brie had been transferred to the special medical facility for rehabilitation and cybernetic augmentations. I had no idea what had become of her afterwards but assumed she had recovered and was undergoing training. She would be, I had guessed, just one of the many secret agents Lord Vader and the Emperor had at their disposal and while Thrawn had often urged me to broaden my horizons and become more than just an office girl, I was glad I hadn’t listened to him. I was rather attached to my limbs and it had seemed to me that seriously becoming a dark side adept had meant giving some of them up.

I liked the job I had, I was good at it and it was the one area where Lord Vader did not have too many complaints about. It was also, relatively speaking, safe. I didn’t want to be an Emperor’s Hand. It had never been my goal to run around the galaxy doing the Emperor’s dirty work and I was extremely glad that neither he nor Lord Vader seemed intent on pushing this point at the moment. While I had some talents with the force, my best skill was also the most unpleasant and I wasn’t terribly keen on using it. I was grateful that with the rising insurgence from the rebels, the construction of the second Death Star, and the additions of two new classes of Star Destroyers also in the works, the two men had more than enough to worry about without concerning themselves about the training of a single, insignificant girl from the Outer Rim who was not particularly compliant. As long as I did my job and stayed out of everyone’s way, I was mostly left to my own devices, which was fine with me.

I was in the middle of confirming the latest order for more duelling droids when Lord Vader, who had recently returned to the Core, stormed into the office I occupied in his Coruscant home. He was furious. He had been ordered to go to the Kothlis Sector by the Emperor to retrieve Luke who had been captured by pirates. I thought he would be happy to finally have permission to go after his son instead of being sent on missions he considered beneath him, but that was not exactly the case.

“What is he thinking?” He snarled while pacing back and forth in front of my desk so savagely that his cloak, flaring out behind him, disturbed the air enough that I had to rescue several flimsies from flying off my desk.

I watched him stalk back and forth with my eyes. I didn’t dare speak for fear of upsetting him further, when he was in this sort of mood, someone usually got hurt, someone usually me. He stopped for a second to glance at me. I just raised my eyebrows. I had no idea what he was talking about. He went back to pacing.

“Was it not bad enough that the first Battle Station was destroyed due to the plans falling into rebel hands that he has to actually hand them the plans to the second one as well?” He yelled. “It is the stupidest thing I have heard of yet! I cannot believe that my master would actually listen to the advice of that Falleen thug!”

I opened my mouth to say something but realised there was nothing to say. If what Lord Vader was telling me was true, then I had to agree with him. It sounded like a pretty stupid plan to me.

“Now I have to go out to Kothlis and pretend to care about getting the plans back! To make it all look real! It is a ridiculous waste of my time!” He ranted.

“Will I be accompanying you on this mission, my lord?” I asked.

He stopped mid stride and looked at me as though he were seeing me for the first time and had only just realised I was there. “No. I want you here to keep an eye on things; to let me know should that so called Prince tries anything else.”

“I am quite sure your personal informants will do a much better job of that than I can.” I replied carefully. I wasn’t a spy and I didn’t like being used as one, the last time I had tried to play that game the results had been mixed and I had ended up fighting with Thrawn over it.

He folded his arms across his chest. “Yes, they but you have a knack for getting information they cannot. I want you on Coruscant, is that clear?”

I nodded. “Crystal.” I said.

While I was not happy about the reasons, I was happy to comply with his order. The thought of being cooped up on the Executor with him while he hunted down his son and put on a show for the rebels, was not my idea of fun. It didn’t help that the rumours that Zaarin had become difficult to get in touch with, reclusive and secretive the TIE defender project was now the subject of hushed whispers and concern. Something was going on but no one knew what. This all made Lord Vader very unhappy. He was hard enough to live with at the best of times and these were not the best of times.

He stormed out of my office and went to destroy some droids, venting a little of his anger before he headed back into space. I was grateful when I finished up my work for the day and could go home where I planned on soaking in a tub full of hot bubbly water with a glass of very good wine. All the scheming and plotting which was currently going on was making my head spin.

In the City that never sleeps 14

2007-03-22T11:34:00.000+01:00

Sand swirled about my bare feet but when I looked up I found myself in the Jedi Temple not the desert. A young woman grabbed my hand and began to pull me through the sunlit hallways. I knew her face, A’kali L’uanna as a girl.

“Come on, they’re here!” She said and all but dragged me to a place where we had a clear view of a wide entrance. She pointed to the people arriving, specifically at a small blond haired boy.

“Who is that?”

“He’s the Chosen One.” She whispered. There was no mistaking the reverence in her voice.

I turned back to took at the boy not noticing that A’kali had slipped away. He looked frightened and lost. I sensed a great sorrow around him and the people he was with. It pierced my heart with its intensity.

“He mourns my death.” Said a new voice at my side. I looked up into the face of Qui Gon Jinn. “He has too much attachment, it will be hard for him to let go. This was our first mistake.” His words puzzled me.

I looked back at Anakin only to have him stare up into my face. “You.” He mouthed but I didn’t understand. For a moment our eyes met then everything around me morphed into something else.

I found myself still in the Temple but in the great Library. All around me was chaos, while I could not see anything I heard the screams and knew what night it was. The night the five oh first came, following Anakin who had turned to the darker side of his passions. The five oh first would forever be known as Vader’s fist after this, the terrible Fist of a man who would kill children to serve his own needs. I often wondered how those cloned soldiers had felt following the duty that Vader had tasked them with.

I didn’t understand this dream but I couldn’t get away from it either. I shut my eyes tightly and covered my ears with my hands hoping to block out the screams and sounds of blaster fire and lightsaber’s slice. Only when someone touched me on the shoulder did I open myself back up. The silence was more deafening that the sound of the furious slaughter. I glanced at the shimmering image of Qui Gon and then followed his own gaze. I shuddered at the sight.

“You have done well, my young apprentice.” I heard the terrible voice of Palpatine say. His words echoed through the stillness.

Anakin, a young man torn by grief, anger and the knowledge that he had betrayed everything, knelt on the floor before his master’s feet. What went through his mind I did not know but I could guess. I wished I could have saved him, turned back time and stopped it all from happening. I had to choke back a sob that threatened to engulf me.

“He doesn’t understand. He never understood.” Qui Gon told me. “Neither did we.” The sorrow in his voice was heart breaking. I watched as the scene once again shimmered and changed.

“Why do you show me these things?” I asked. I knew I was crying but I didn’t bother to wipe away my tears.

“So that you might know.”

“But why?”

“Because someone has to, because you see beyond the mask.” He said cryptically. Before I could ask another question he faded away leaving me in the empty library. I looked about and realised that it was completely bare. Everything that had been in it had been stripped away.

I walked about the room trying to find a trace of the history it had once held but there was nothing at all. The place was finally dead. It didn’t make me sad, it was a relief. I could touch things but felt nothing.

“You often come here, don’t you my child.” Palpatine’s soft voice whispered from behind me, making me jump in fright.

“Your Highness.” I said and began to kneel but he made a gesture with his hand and I remained standing.

“What do you hope to find in this place?” he asked gently.

“I don’t know.” It was the truth. “I never know.”

“There are no more answers here.” Palpatine said.

“I don’t understand any of this.”

Palpatine smiled. “Exactly, neither did he … until it was too late.”

I looked at the Emperor trying to decipher the hidden meanings underneath his words, but this was a dream and nothing made sense.

“You should not come here any more.” He said in that avuncular manner, as though I were a favoured niece not one of his pawns. “You should return home now.”

The room shifted and I found myself in a med lab but not one I was familiar with. This one was dark and intimidating. It smelled like charred flesh and metal. When I heard a scream I turned around and at first could not understand what I was seeing.

Medical droids bustled around the terribly burnt body, stripping off charred clothing, strips of flesh, in some places down to the bone and the man on the medical bed was still aware, still awake and screaming in agony. The droids seemed oblivious to his pain. They busied themselves with the artificial limbs which would take the place of the ones Obi Wan had severed.

“Suffering will make you strong, Anakin.” A voice behind me chided. “Use your anger and rise above the pain!”

I shuddered. Suddenly I felt sick. The Emperor had done this to him. No anaesthetic, nothing to dull the terrible pain. The med-droids began their terrible work, attaching metal to flesh, making Anakin whole again. No wonder Anakin hated the Emperor so much. No wonder Lord Vader was the way he was. How could one man endure so much pain and anger? I tried to turn away from the sight only to find someone holding my arm. When I looked to see who it was I found myself staring into Anakin’s charred face, his eyes had turned a dreadful colour of fire. I couldn’t bear to look at him but I couldn’t turn away.

“Wipe them all out!” He screamed. “Cut them all down! Traitors all of them! Even you, you betrayed me!” He stared straight at me but he wasn’t seeing me, he was seeing someone else. Ghosts…I was surrounded by them.

I snatched my hand from the metal claw that held me and backed away. I bumped into Palpatine who, with his hands on my shoulders, spun me around to face him. “You see, little one, there is no escape, eventually everyone becomes mine. I have plans for you and your talents, but not just yet.” He caressed my face with the backs of his fingers. I shivered. His smile was grotesque, as though a thousand years of malignancy had eaten away his flesh. “Go home now, he’s waiting for you.” He said, propelling me towards a door I had not noticed. It opened onto nothing and before I could do anything he had pushed me through it into the void where I fell, screaming.

I woke up with my cries still echoing in my head, gasping for breath and disoriented. This was not the bed I was used to and for a moment I wasn’t sure I really had woken up. When the reality of what room I was in hit and the memory of everything that had happened flooded back I knew I was not sleeping any more and got up. The chrono said it was just after two am.

I stumbled into the bathroom and cleaned up then headed for the kitchen to make a cup of tea. While the water heated up I went to the balcony to get some fresh air. At first I didn’t see Thrawn, standing in the darkness staring into the night, the lights from the city illuminated his skin softly but when I did my heart gave a little jolt. I stood very still thinking he had not noticed me, that I could just go back inside and not have to face any more of his angry accusations but then he spoke.

“Are you alright?” He asked without turning to look at me. “I heard you cry out.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you, I’m sorry.” I said and turned to leave.

“You did not wake me.” He said turning to face me, “and you didn’t answer my question.”

“It was just a dream.” I said, “A bad one, but just a dream, I don’t think it meant anything. I’m fine, I’m just … I’m fine.”

“Does this have to do with what happened after Bespin?” He asked.

I shook my head. We had not talked about that and although he knew something terrible had occurred, something that gave me nightmares so bad I was often afraid to go back to sleep afterwards, he had not pushed for information yet. “No. It was just a bad dream and it didn’t make any sense. If it had any meaning I don’t know it.”

We stared at each other for a moment. Then he broke the stillness between us when he stretched out his hand to me, gesturing that I should come to him. I did so hesitantly.

He reached out and caressed the side of my face with the backs of his fingers. “I’m sorry.” He said.

I blinked up at him in disbelief. “You’re apologising?”

“Yes,” He said, “I had no right to speak to you the way I did. You sound surprised.”

“It’s been my experience that men don’t usually say sorry for anything, right or wrong.”

That earned me a smile. “Well perhaps you have been keeping company with the wrong men.” He said. “When I am wrong, I will admit it.”

“Oh,” I said as I looked up into his face. This was the last thing I expected him to do or say. His eyes, which glowed with an eerie reddish light, held concern and something else I couldn’t read. “And here I was thinking that you were partly right about some of the things you said.” I was grateful that I had wrapped a warm shawl about my shoulders, the night air was cool.

His eyebrow arched. “Oh, I was.” He replied, “But that does not excuse the way I behaved.”

I nodded. “Okay.” I said slowly. “Were you going to just stand out here all night then or had you planned on coming in and telling me this?”

“When I went in to talk to you earlier you were sound asleep, I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Ah.” I said quietly, turning away from his intense stare. “I kind of wish you had.”

“I’ll be honest with you, A’myshk’a, you drive me to distraction.” He said plainly. “Never in my life have I come across anyone quite like you. Nor have I ever experienced the wide range of emotions you seem to delight in putting me through. This relationship of ours is problematic at best and at worst, wrecks constant havoc on my well laid order and plans.”

I held my breath and my heart thumped in my chest as I readied myself for the we should stop seeing each other speech which I was sure was coming. I opened my mouth to say something but he shut me up by placing his forefinger gently on my lips and continued to speak. “I have never thought of myself as a man with a jealous nature. I am ambitious and probably also proud, but not jealous. Tonight’s little incident proved me wrong and I handled it very poorly. I took my anger at what Zaarin did out on you. It was not my intent to raise my voice or imply the things I did.”

I looked up at him puzzled. That had not been what I had expected. I took a deep breath. “Well, as disagreements go, this was a pretty normal one, if you ask me.” I said slowly. “Tame in comparison to some of the fights I used to have with papa.”

He nodded. “The Chiss do not fight. Nor do we have loud, angry arguments about anything. We are taught from very early on to contain our feelings and choose a logical not an emotional course of action. Humans are utterly chaotic in this respect. It is a wonder to me sometimes how anything in this galaxy ever gets accomplished.” He paused. “Having an orderly discussion with you on a topic that you are emotionally involved in is nearly impossible.” He said. “I am unused to this method of conflict on such a personal level. You make things not calm, not logical. Sometimes it is like living with a never ending, wild and unpredictable storm.”

“Well,” I said quietly, “At least it’s not boring.”

He gave a short laugh. “No, you are anything but dull, my dear.”

“The Sand People have a saying. Without the wild winds there would be no beautiful dunes.” I told him.

“Yes, there is a Dantassi saying much like that only it has to do with snow not sand.”

For a moment we were quiet, just looking at one another. Then I asked a little uncertainly. “So…I won’t have to pack my things and move back to the palace?”

He opened his mouth then shut it again and gave me a look which said remind me which planet are you from again? “What in Da’hajn’s name made you think that?”

“I tend to assume the worst these days.” I said with a little shrug. “You were very angry.”

He smiled. “You do have a knack for stirring me up, as it were.” He said, I just looked up at him and sighed.

“I don’t mean to, most of the time.” I replied. “So, I don’t have to leave then?” I gave him a little grin to hide the fact that I really needed to hear him say it.

“No.” he said then added, “I have told you before, I am bound to you.”

“What exactly does that mean?” I asked.

“That I won’t be breaking up with you over something that was not entirely your fault to begin with.” he replied.

“That’s not really an answer.”

“Yes it is, just not one you were expecting.” He countered. “How is your face?”

I touched the place where Zaarin had backhanded me, the swelling on my lip had gone down and if he had not mentioned it I would have forgotten about the bruise. “It’s fine.”

He said, “So it won’t hurt if I do this.” His hand cupped the back of my head, his fingers snaking under my hair as he drew my face up to his. He kissed me slowly, tenderly. Relief washed through me as I kissed him back. When the kettle peeped to let me know the water had boiled, he broke from me to ask, “Do you still want to make tea?”

“Uhm, not really.” I breathed.

“Good.”

“Why?”

“We have a conversation to finish.”

“I thought we were done fighting.” I frowned.

“We are.” He said. “I am speaking of the discussion we began before you left the flat this evening.”

“Oh.” I replied. “I guess arguing with me wasn’t on your list of fun things to do this evening?”

“No. It was not.” He said and he began to show me what was on his list of fun things to do.

The culmination slow and elegant seduction through our letters, the verbal foreplay from before the evening’s events coupled with our anger at what had happened was so powerful I felt as though we would implode from it. Fighting, it seemed, built up a lot of passion and all that energy had to go somewhere; I liked his current solution better than the one from earlier on.

Thrawn was fierce and dominant, stirring me up like sand dancing in a windstorm. With his mouth, his hands and his body he marked the territory of what he had claimed was his. I didn’t argue about ownership rights and I matched his intensity with my own, untamed and wild. I, too, had teeth and nails. The Chiss prided themselves on their cool logic, and had done their very best to train their kind to eschew all public displays of emotion but I knew better than to believe this all went bone deep. Thrawn was a man of intense passions, though well schooled by his people in the art of playing it cool, he allowed himself, on occasion, to be free of the constraints his lineage demanded. Ice to my fire, he melted and in doing so quenched the heat that threatened to incinerate me from the inside out. If I could have physically burned his name on the inside of my soul I would have. I wondered briefly if such passions as these would eventually die off and if so, what would be left in their place but these tiny doubts were soon forgotten as he made sure he my full attention.

In the quiet of the bedroom we moved like light on water. Our bodies rippled together as I sat astride his lap, riding upon him. His hands rested on my hips, holding me as he leaned against the headboard of the antique bed which I gripped tightly, trapping him within the circle of my arms. This was one of his favourite positions and when I had once asked him why this was, he had simply replied because it is one of the few times we see eye to eye. I had thought he was playing with words, just a joke answer but that was not the case. I had not really understood what he had meant.

There was so much power in our coupling that it sometimes amazed me we didn’t spontaneously combust from it. He had taught me well in the art of giving him pleasure just as he had learned how well to please me. I had come a long way from the first night he had taken me to his bed, wounded and nervous. I enjoyed giving as much as I received. It was the one place where I did not feel as though he were constantly trying to teach me a lesson in politics or tactics of some sort and occasionally I was able to surprise him. I wondered, for a moment, if it was possible for two separate beings to meld into one because that’s what it felt like, that’s what I wished for. As the world boiled around us and when the energy between us finally exploded, I felt as though I had shattered into a billion pieces.

I could feel his heart pounding in his chest as I shuddered against his body, now holding onto him tightly, my legs around his, thigh to thigh and my fingers digging into his back. Our laboured breathing was in perfect synch. For a singular point in time it really seemed as though we had become one, but that tiny moment passed in the wink of an eye.

In the wash of serenity that followed the manic passion, still wrapped about his body, I inhaled his scent deeply and, sighing contentedly, I rested my head upon his shoulder. He mistook it for a sigh of something else.

“Contrary to what you often seem to feel, the weight of the galaxy does not rest on your shoulders you know. That would be the Emperor’s job, tekari.” His fingers ran through my hair.

“I know that.” I said indignantly but his words made me smile, which had been his intent. I looked into his eyes. It awed me how much I felt for this man, the ache it gauging a great hole in the pit of my being. Too much, a little voice in the back of my mind whispered but I ignored it as I touched his face with the tips of my fingers, taking in the shape of his bones, the surface of his skin which was all shadowy lines in the bedroom’s dim light. For a moment we simply looked at each other. Then, drawing my face with both hands, to meet his, he kissed me before I could speak. I wondered, not for the first time, how a kiss could be so tender and yet at the same time so incredibly possessive. I did my best to return it in kind.

“Peyla’mer a’mal’yn.” He whispered in my ear. You belong to me.

“Zav’niaask nen kahden.” I murmured back without hesitation. Forever and always.

“Yes.” He growled so fiercely and so protectively that I looked up at him for an explanation. He gave none. I was his and that was that. It had never occurred to me before to ask if it worked the other way around. There was something unsettlingly familiar about these words and how they were said but I couldn’t place it.

“But you are also mine, aren’t you?” I asked, trying to shake the sense of having lived this scene already.

He studied my face carefully and nodded slowly. “Yes, bound by word and ritual.” He said very softly.

There was more going on here, underneath the surface of the words he spoke, but I could not decipher them. I felt the same weird electricity now as I had during the middle of the unmasking ceremony on Hjal. Some deeply meaningful thing being observed without me knowing or really understanding it. I looked him in the eyes and asked, “So this means that I am bound to you as well?”

I could not read the expression on his face. “Yes, in a manner of speaking, if that is your wish. Although it is not formally binding.”

“What does that mean, exactly?”

He caressed my face with the backs of his fingers. “There are some things which must be spoken aloud, witnessed and marked.” He said gently.

“This is some weird Dantassi thing you won’t explain to me and I will have to badger Navaari to tell me what it all means, isn’t it?”

“Something along those lines.” He said with a smile. “But for that to happen we must visit Hjal.”

“I’m game for that. Navaari’s always telling you to bring me and besides,” I grinned, “I miss him.”

“As he misses you.” He replied. He moved slightly so that he could see my eyes. I watched his face but I couldn’t read it. “A binding pledge is not given lightly and words spoken in the heat of passion can often be recanted or even regretted.” He said.

I just looked at him. “There is no one else, now or ever. I am yours. I don’t regret this, so deal with it.”

He laughed and kissed my forehead. “Such are my trials.” He smiled and I knew that this was all I would get from him on this topic but something in his tone of voice said my answer had greatly pleased him and some little missing puzzle piece had fallen into place between us. Goosebumps rippled down my arms and I shivered.

With the passion receding and the affection between us a quiet thing, I was cold now with no clothes on in spite of the warmth from his body. We moved apart then, one becoming two, and he pulled me down to lie beside him, tugging the covers up over us both. His long fingers traced the contour of my body, shoulder to hip and back. I would have though that in the aftermath of our coupling we would have been sleepy but that was not the case. Instead we lay thoughtful as though there were unfinished business to deal with.

“You know, the Empire is going to all nine Corellian hells and back.” I said, breaking the silence as I nestled into his body.

He moved to accommodate me and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Things have not been running as smoothly as they should lately, that is true.”

I snorted. “It seems to me this entire galaxy is coming apart at the seams.”

“I suppose it must feel like that on occasion but really when one puts it all into some sort of perspective, what is going on is very small compared to the entirety of the galaxy.”

“So these defections that have been occurring lately are normal?”

There was a moment’s pause and I glanced up at him so I could see his face better. “Perhaps not so many in so short a time, but given the number of people who work for the Empire both from a military stand point as well as civilian, I don’t think it is so unheard of. It is however, unacceptable.” Thrawn replied. There was anger in his voice. Loyalty was one of the things he prized above all else.

“How did your little private promotion thing go?” I asked, changing the subject, there had been enough anger for one night.

He looked at me. “It was small and fairly unremarkable.” He said. “Attended by the Emperor, a few of his most trusted advisors, Lord Vader and a certain young lady he seems to hold in high esteem.”

That caught my attention.

“You know her as Lianna, I believe.”

“But that’s not her real name.” I said pointedly.

Now I had his attention. “I’m listening.”

“Her name is Mara Jade; she’s one of the Emperor’s agents.”

“Yes, I learned this tonight. She is an Emperor’s Hand, although I was under the distinct impression that she thinks she is the only one.” He said.

“Why would she think that? The Emperor has many agents.”

“Yes, you and I both know that. I suspect it is his way of controlling her, manipulating her.” He said.

“So why was she there anyway?” I asked failing to keep the sudden pang of jealousy I felt out of my voice.

Thrawn glanced at me, and caressed my face gently, lifting up my chin so that I knew what he had to say next he meant for me to pay close attention to. “Envy is not an emotion that you wear well, tekari. Put your claws away, you have no reason to feel threatened by her. She works for the Empire, as do you. She was there because the Emperor felt it was necessary I learn her true identity. You should feel sorry for her, not envious of her.”

I gave him my ‘what do you mean’ look. He continued. “She was taken from her family at a very young age and raised by Palpatine as his ward, raised by the Empire as it were. She has been bent and shaped to his will her whole life. She has never had what you had, a family who loved her or a proper childhood. She lives only to please Palpatine and do her duty. She has never known anything else. You have nothing to be jealous of and she has every reason to envy you.”

I just glanced at him. “Well I guess that would explain why she doesn’t like it when the Emperor shows favour on others.”

“She has never been allowed the luxury of friends. I am also certain that under Palpatine’s hand she has learned far more about distrust and disfavour in her young life than you ever will. Palpatine is a master at manipulation when it comes to bending others, something you have also experienced.”

I just nodded. I got the message and changed the subject back to the original topic. “Is it true that the Council of Twelve isn’t aware that you are one of them?”

“Yes, this is true.” He said.

“Why is that?”

“You would have to ask the Emperor that question.” He said with a slight shrug.

“I think I’ll pass.” I said, “So how long will your promotion be kept a secret?” I asked.

“Until the time is right to make it public and that is up to Palpatine. He has his reasons for all the secrecy.”

“He always does.” I said a little crossly.

He shifted, leaning up on elbow to stare at my face. “Do not underestimate the Emperor in anything he does, tekari, and do not assume to know the way of things. Not everything with Palpatine is as it appears to be. He is a man capable of such manipulations and machinations; I have never seen anyone as skilled in this art as he is.” He chided gently but underneath the softness of tone was an edge of cold steel.

“So why doesn’t he want anyone to know you are a Grand Admiral?” I asked.

He sighed as he lay back down, allowing me to reassert my territorial claim over his shoulder. “The quick answer is because he has stated there would only ever be twelve. I make thirteen. He wishes it to be a secret so it stays that way. The truth is, my dear, I don’t know who does know and who doesn’t. I only know that the Emperor has his reasons and I did not care to argue with him on them for the time being.”

“You think it has something to do with what ever is going on with Zaarin?”

I felt him smile as he stroked a lock of hair from my face. “That possibility had occurred to me. The Emperor has a disturbing knack for seeing the future of things.”

“That’s a force trick.” I told him. “But it isn’t always right or even accurate.”

“Have you ever seen into the future?”

I sighed. “I have had visions on a few occasions but I don’t know what they mean. Without context there is no way to discern meaning.”

“Give me an example.”

“I had one of you once. At the gallery show where we saw the Bernau pieces, do you remember?”

That caught his interest. “I remember you went as white as a Csillian snow field. You had claimed to have not eaten enough but that was a lie.”

I nodded. “It was a flash, really nothing more but so real, as if I had been some how transported into a different time and place. I saw you seated on some sort of command chair on a star destroyer, dressed in white, a Grand Admiral’s uniform. You were clutching your chest. There was blood running over your hands. What ever had happened had surprised you. You were not expecting it.” I shuddered involuntarily at this memory.

“Well, as you can see I am very much alive.” He said thoughtfully.

“I have no idea what it all means, when it will happen or even if it will ever happen. But I can tell you this, it had that feel to it. I know when I get a real vision because there is a quality to it that is just unlike anything else, not a dream or a memory. The only time anything I have seen has come true was when I was on Rothana but I read it wrong. I thought it meant that Lian…I mean Mara Jade would be killed, instead she was just wounded. So you see, without context there is no way to know meaning. And if it is the future, it can change because the future is fluid and relies on the past. It’s all terribly confusing.”

He was quiet for a log moment then he said, “So the skill is in actually learning how to read these visions then and not just having them?”

I nodded. “I guess so. I don’t know much about how it works and I don’t talk to Lord Vader about this subject any more because he got tetchy and violent the last time I tried. I don’t dare ask the Emperor because Sarlacc knows what he might do if he knew I had this ability as well.”

“Do you not think that the Emperor would have the experience and the skill to more accurately read visions of the future than you would?” He asked.

“I am sure he does, but would you not agree that even the Emperor is not perfect and could make mistakes?”

“Yes.”

“And if he is wrong about something important, something that could affect the entire balance of power?”

Thrawn drew a deep breath. “Well,” he said slowly, “that will be an interesting moment in time.”

“I think it would be terrible and chaotic. If he relies on this power to see ahead but misses some small detail or doesn’t account for some tiny element of surprise then everything could collapse.” I shivered at this thought. “I mean can you imagine a galaxy without the rule of the Emperor?”

“I imagine it would be messy.” He said quietly.

I glanced up at his face. “Not if you were around to step in and take over.”

He laughed a little. “Your faith in my abilities as a leader is overwhelming, sj’iu tekari.”

“People would follow you.” I said and I meant it.

“Only if they overcame their fear of my differences first.” He replied in a voice that said no more talk of this.

I sighed. “Are you sure you don’t want to just retire to Hjal, father my children and go hunting with Navaari?”

He smiled with a sigh. “That idea has such sweet appeal but I am duty bound to serve the Empire and my duty comes first. However, there is nothing stopping you from leaving Lord Vader’s employ and heading out to Hjal if you wanted.” He was teasing.

“Yes there is.” I said, poking him in the chest.

He wrapped his hand around mine. “And that would be?”

“You.” I said. “It’s too damned cold there and who would keep me warm at night?”

“Who indeed?” He murmured in my ear, sleep creeping into his voice.

I just nodded and sighed comfortably. He completed a part of my world I had never even known was lacking. What it was he got from me, I didn’t know but I hoped it was enough. We lay drowsy until just before dawn but we also did not speak. There were no more words. When I woke up it was late and he was gone.

The note he had left for me on the Kitchen counter said;

Mia tekari,
I hope that you slept well. There is stimcaf ready to go in the pot and fresh scones in the warmer. You were so fast asleep I thought it best to let you rest. Lord Vader has been called off world. He did not say how long he would be gone for. You officially have the day off. Given the events of yesterday I do not think you will complain. Shiv left a message asking if you were alright and he will try to get a hold of you later on this afternoon. I am sure that will entail lunch and you explaining a great deal.
I am not certain when I will be home but it should not be terribly late. I have dinner taken care of and plan on not letting you out of my sight this evening so for the sake of peace and quiet, will you please try to stay out of trouble between now and then?
Za’ar

I just stared at the note and waited for the stimcaf to brew. I grabbed the latest news flimsy, warmed up the scones he had left for me and sat down to read. I could not think of a better way to start my day. It was the last truly peaceful day and night I would know for a very long time.

In the City that never sleeps 13

2007-03-18T18:56:00.000+01:00

I was sitting out on the balcony when Thrawn returned. I had bathedd, scrubbing my skin so hard it had almost glowed pink, and changed into comfortable clothes. I had a Dantassi blanket wrapped around my shoulders against the cool of the night and was nursing a large brandy. My face ached dully despite the pain-killers and the bruising by my swollen lip was a pretty shade of reddish purple. I did not move as he went through his usual routine. Once he had changed out of his dress uniform, washed up and gotten something to drink he joined me. I sat in one of the balcony chairs with my feet up against the railing; he came to stand with his back against the same balustrade, facing me. For a very long time neither of us said anything we sipped our brandy in silence.

Finally he broke the stillness. “So, do you care to explain what happened this evening without being cryptic?” He asked. He was tense and I could feel his annoyance and anger underneath his calm facade. This would not be a happy conversation.

I drew a deep breath and I told him. I kept it simple and as close to just the facts as I could. He listened without interruption or comment and when I was done it was his turn to take a deep steadying breath.

“Are you certain you did not misinterpret his intentions?” Thrawn asked carefully.

“He had his hand all over my breasts, he slapped my face when I told him to piss off and he ripped my dress, so I would say that me misunderstanding his intentions is a definite no.” I retorted hotly. I wasn’t exactly happy with what had had happened but I was certain I had not instigated it nor misread the situation at hand.

“Why did you let it get that far? Why did you not simply evade him?”

“Evade him? Like how? It’s my office not his and I did ask him to leave. Things didn’t get interesting until after he’d backed me up against the wall” I said. I didn’t tell Thrawn that I had kind of let that happen in the first place. “He was the one who said he was tired of hearing me say no to him. He was the one who decided to push.”

“So you just decided to play his game instead of getting away from him or calling for help?”

I scowled at him. Call for help, I thought? Who the hell would have come running at that time of night in a deserted part of the palace. Instead I said, “That’s complicated,” which was entirely the wrong thing to say.

“Well, un-complicate it for me. I want to know why you let it get that far.” He said dryly.

“It didn’t get that far at all.” I snapped.

“He tore your dress, he touched you in an inappropriate manner and he hit you. I’d call that far enough.” His voice had gone stone cold.

I sighed. “I wanted to stop him once and for all. I wanted to make it clear I am not part of the palace stable of pretty girls free for his taking.” I sipped my brandy. “If I had not made my stance there and then he would have just tried again some other time, maybe when he would have had more of an advantage over me. He made the mistake of thinking he was stronger than me and that fear of him would keep me in line. It didn’t even occur to him that I would fight back in the way I did, much less hurt him.” I said calmly. “Besides, I thought it would be a good opportunity.”

“A what?” He asked, clearly puzzled by this. I had momentarily stunned him. “The man wanted to physically assault you and you thought this was a good thing?” He hissed through clenched teeth.

“Well, yes, sort of.”

“Care to enlighten me on this particular line of thought because your logic escapes me.”

I drew a deep breath knowing he was not going to like what I said next at all. “Lord Vader wanted me to read him.” I said. “I thought that while he was distracted with other things Zaarin might let something slip.”

I could feel Thrawn’s anger swirl about him as he tried to contain it. “And did he?” he asked coldly.

I made a face. “Sort of, I got the impression he is planning some sort of overthrow of the government. A coup, maybe. He kept hinting at how different things would be after the Emperor was gone. That the Emperor’s rule would not last forever and I should make plans for a job change. For sure, he wants to get rid of the Emperor and wants to take his place. I got the distinct impression that what ever he has planned, he is very sure it will succeed and that it will happen sooner rather than later.”

Thrawn arched an eyebrow. “I don’t suppose you managed to seduce any actual details for these particular plans out of him, did you?” he asked, his voice still cool but now it carried a nasty edge I had never heard from him before.

I stared at him for a moment. His attitude was starting to piss me off. I drained my glass in one gulp. “No, and for the record I did not plan on seducing him at all. In fact I tried to stay the hell away from him but he had other ideas!” I said crossly. “I simply took advantage of an existing situation.”

“Yes,” He nodded, “an existing situation. His attentions to you at the dedication ceremony did not escape my attention. I should have thought that alone would have made you think twice about engaging him in any sort of conversation in private.”

“Engage him… in private…?” I didn’t know how to respond so I resorted to girl logic, “You’re making it sound as though I invited him to meet me in my office for exactly that purpose!” I said hotly. “If I had known he was following me I’d have gone someplace where he could not find me! I thought it was Shiv who was at the door when he knocked so I opened it. It didn’t occur to me that it would be Zaarin.”

Thrawn ignored my statement. “He was making a play for you at the dedication ceremony. The drink he handed you this evening was full of glow spice.”

“Yes and he knew exactly what it would do to me if I actually drank it.”

There was moment’s pause while Thrawn took in my words. “He lied about his knowledge of your allergy, then.” It wasn’t a question. We both knew that it had been Zaarin who had arranged the glow-spice laced cake which had damn near killed me.

I nodded.

“So, while he knows about your allergy he does not know about your force talents for reading truth from lie then.”

That hadn’t occurred to me. “I guess not.” I said with a little shrug. “I was hoping to maybe get something out of him that I could report to Lord Vader, something concrete not just a vague sense of ill will.”

“Instead you got attacked and he knows a whole lot more about you than he did several hours ago.”

“Would you rather that I’d played the victim and let him have his way with me?” I asked snarkily.

“I would rather none of this had happened at all! I told you to stay away from him!” He said sharply, losing some of his eerie façade of calm.

“Well, you failed to tell him to stay away from me!” I shouted.

“I am beginning to wonder if you deliberately manage to get yourself into these situations just to see how angry you can make me!”

“What?” I exploded, “This is not about you!”

“You court danger the way most people eat fruit.” His eyes were hard as he glared at me.

“Oh, for Sarlacc’s sake!” I exploded. “Zaarin wasn’t a threat to me! He’s an old man with grandiose ideas and a libido to match his ego!” I got up from my chair. Now I was cross. “He’s lucky I didn’t permanently damage him, which I could have and probably should have!”

“You didn’t report this did you?” Thrawn asked completely ignoring my outburst.

I made a noise of disgust. “Just how stupid do you think I am? Do you really think anyone would believe the truth? He is one of the Empire’s highest ranking, most respected officers and while you and a couple of other people know I am a tad more than palace fluff that’s not what would come across in an investigation. I am certain that no matter what the truth was, the reality of the situation would be distorted so that he was the victim and I was the one leading him on. I don’t want that, I don’t want my life, my relationships and everything I am dragged through the muck. No one really cares about the attempted rape of a ‘palace girl’; it happens all the time and gets ignored. Imperial men seem to think they can do what ever they please. I’ve heard enough horror stories from Shiv about this that I know no matter how much in the right I am it would never be presented that way. If I have learned anything by working here it is that sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all. I’ll bide my time, sooner or later Zaarin will get what he deserves.”

I took the long pause that followed for agreement. “Have you spoken to anyone else what you gleaned from your little foray into the world of seductive espionage?” He asked.

I shook my head. “No. I was going to tell Lord Vader when I see him next.”

“Don’t.” He commanded.

“What? Why not?”

“Because I asked.” He said in a tone of voice that said this was anything but a request. “Because I would rather let Zaarin think you had decided to forget the whole incident and say nothing about what he did.”

“Now who is playing games?” I shot back.

“Merlyn, stop it!” He raised his voice. He was finally angry, I had pushed enough. “It’s bad enough you land yourself in hospitals when you tangle with your friend from Tatooine but you make it far worse when play the spy for Lord Vader and get mixed up in things you have no idea about. You meddle in affairs better left alone. You have absolutely no idea what is going on so stay out of it!”

“I do not set these situations up!” I shouted at him. “Why are you making this so complicated?”

“I am not the one who makes things complex, my dear.” He said icily.

I stared at him for a moment. “What is really pissing you off here? Is it the fact that I didn’t do as you asked and stay away from Zaarin, even though he was the one chasing me or the fact that he tried to take by force what I give to you freely?” If Thrawn had been even remotely inclined to violence chances are good he would have slapped me after that statement instead a deadly stillness crawled over him. I would have welcomed violence in contrast to his unreadable calm.

“Have a care with how you speak to me on this incident.” He said softly. “Under Dantassi law this would be a very serious matter.”

For a moment he had floored me then I said, “Dantassi law has nothing to do with this!”

“I am your ta’kasta’cariad.” He replied. “I am required by our Dantassi laws to protect you, to keep you from harm.” That was not the whole truth of it but I didn’t think this was the right time to ask for clarity.

“Oh, like you kept me from harm by dragging me to Myrkr?” I asked as I hiked up my skirt and pointed to the large white scar on my thigh, reminding him of the injuries I had sustained on that planet. Technically this was unfair as he had taken me to Myrkr before he had taken on his Dantassi role in my life. His jaw clenched and his body language said he had not expected me to throw that back in his face. It was entirely the wrong button to push but I couldn’t help it. “And none of this has anything to do with the current situation!” I wondered, briefly, how far I could wind him up and push him before he would explode at me. I decided I wasn’t sure I wanted to experiment with this right and bit my tongue to keep from saying anything else that might dig the hole deeper.

“It has everything to do with this situation.” He countered. “You are a chaotic menace to order and careful planning in every single way possible.”

I blinked at him for a second then let my mouth get the better of me. “Oh, I’m sorry, am I stepping on your toes? Have I stumbled on some plan or nefarious scheme I wasn’t supposed to? Do you actually know what is going on with Zaarin?”

He drew a deep breath, trying to keep his temper in check. “It’s no secret to me and a few others that Zaarin wants more power. It is also no secret that he does not appreciate the Emperor’s method of ruling. I have been studying his moves at great length for some time now and I believe I know him well enough to gain some insight into what he will do but you are making this job difficult.”

“I am making your job difficult?” I almost exploded. “How can I make your job difficult when I don’t even know what that is?” I asked. “May I remind you that Zaarin is the one who came after me! I just went to my office to get some bloody work done. I did not ask him to show up uninvited and prove how big of a man he is!” I yelled. “You make it sound as though I deliberately enticed him to come after me!”

“Did you?” He asked frostily.

I didn’t think about it I just flung my empty brandy glass at him. When he actually caught it in his hand it infuriated me to the point of being irrational.

“I’ll take that as a no.” He said calmly as he set my glass down on the floor.

“Is it so unbelievable that he would actually come after me without me doing anything to encourage him?” I asked. “Or do you, along with everyone else in this Sarlacc forsaken galaxy, think I am just a cheap palace whore?”

He jaw tightened and he drew a deep breath, “I did not think Zaarin would be so desperate to prove his manhood that he would chance coming after you like this. It would appear I underestimated his libido and the bruising his ego has taken at your hand.” He said tartly. “Never speak of yourself in that manner again. You dishonour me, you dishonour Kirja’navaar’inkjerii and most of all you dishonour yourself. This I will not have.” We stared at each other for a moment. We had never fought like this before and I didn’t know how to untangle the mess we were making.

“So what you are really saying is you underestimated me.” I stated flatly.

His answer held a nasty edge to it. “I only underestimate how well you seem to manage getting into ridiculous situations that land you in a med lab!”

I shook my head and stormed back inside the flat. He was making me cross, this conversation was making me cross and what had happened earlier on in the evening made me cross as well. It was not a very good way to end an evening. I heard him follow me in, closing the door behind him. He caught my arm and pulled me around to face him. I didn’t fight his grip but he let go of me as soon as he saw my expression. I was fed up of being man handled and some of that must have shown on my face. The air between us crackled. I folded my arms across my chest defiantly and waited for the lecture I knew was coming.

“What you did tonight was foolish. Brave on some level maybe, but truly foolish and Vader has no right to ask you to spy on Zaarin, force talents or not.” He said firmly. “Zaarin thinks that he is unobserved and free to do as he wishes. If he even suspects his plans are discovered he’ll change them and make it that much harder to deal with when the time comes. He may come off like a stupid middle aged man whose desire for a young palace girl clouds his judgement but let me tell you he is far more intelligent than you seem to give him credit for. I am assuming that he thought you would be an easy target tonight due to all the rumours that were flying around you and me. Perhaps he had a little too much port at dinner or something and once he came after you, I strongly suspect you helped him out in the desire department hoping to egg him on in a misguided attempt to lure some information from him. Now he has a real reason to hate you and he knows just how sharp your teeth are. He won’t underestimate you again. You had just better hope he doesn’t think you’ve figured out something of his plans because he will stop at nothing to make sure he eliminates any threats to his power. This includes you. While you have a place of some small importance in the Imperial court, make no mistake, you can be replaced. Aside, perhaps, from the Emperor, everyone in this galaxy is expendable.”

I knew he was mostly right but I hated to admit it so I didn’t say anything. Thrawn took my silence for stubbornness and pressed his point. With my arms folded, I gritted my teeth and glared at him. He stared back at me. Neither of us was backing down.

“Stay away from Zaarin. I am not asking you. I am telling you.” I knew this tone of voice and it was non negotiable.

Petulance made me snarky, “Fine!” I snapped.

“Then we have an understanding.” He said in a manner which told me he thought everything was settled.

“No, I don’t think we do!” I said crossly. “I don’t understand you at all!” I yelled at him. “And you sure as hell do not understand me!” My outburst puzzled him but I wasn’t about to try and explain why I was now so pissed off because I wasn’t sure I knew myself. It was probably a girl thing.

We stared at each other for a moment then I turned around and stormed away from him, into the spare bedroom and slammed the door as hard as I possibly could. I could not ever recall a time when both of us had been so angry or said so many unpleasant things to each other before and I had no idea how to undo it all. I stood with the door at my back and swallowed down my anger, letting out the breath I felt I had been holding since the evening had begun. It occurred to me that I did not have the upper hand in this situation, and by locking myself into the small bedroom I had essentially backed myself into a corner. With a snort, I went and flung myself down on the bed. I wondered if my world was crashing down around me, if I should pack my things and go back to living in the palace and never see Thrawn again but somewhere in the back of my addled brain I knew this was over reacting.

My father and I had often fought, especially after the death of my mother. The shouting matches in the house had been spectacular and usually ended with me storming off. Unlike Thrawn, my father had a temper that matched my own and I used to wonder why we didn’t cause lightening to crash inside the house when we sparked against each other, usually over something stupid I had done. At least fighting with my father had been satisfying somehow, as though airing the anger and frustration between us somehow cleansed the spirit. Fighting with Thrawn was like fighting a great wall of impenetrable silence. I did not know how to battle his calculating logic and icy calm and I had really wanted to make him mad, to get him shouting at me because that the only way I knew how to fight. Loud, emotional and with sparks flying I could deal with, unnerving quiet calm put me completely off balance.

As I lay on the bed with my arms folded crossly over my chest it occurred to me that just maybe Thrawn was not so wrong in his over all assessment of what had happened. It had probably not been the brightest move to allow things to play out as they had and now instead of Zaarin just being an annoying pest, he had become an enemy. I closed my eyes and sighed. I was suddenly very tired. It had been a long, awful evening and I just wanted it to go away. Despite my anger, curiously enough, I fell asleep almost instantly.

In the City that never sleeps 12

2007-03-15T16:13:00.000+01:00

By the time I had finished changing and sorting my self out, the reception was well underway. As I entered the hall, I looked around but didn’t see the Emperor or Thrawn. I did see Shiv and Ynyth who along with Bobbyn were waving like mad at me to get my attention. As I made my way through the crowd to meet them I stopped one of the waiters handing out drinks.

“Do you have anything besides that fizzy stuff?” I asked.

“Yes miss, whatever you like, I can get you form the bar.” He replied politely.

“In that case I’d really like a Corellian double brandy kiss.” I said and with a nod he vanished to fulfill my drink wish.

Shiv was the first to comment. “There you are, we were about to send out a search party.” He said.

I grinned. “No need. I’m here. What did I miss?” I asked.

“Not much. It would appear that all the important people have vanished on some secret meeting and left us to fend for ourselves.” He said in a mock whisper. “What about you, what happened?”

“A little accident. I was not watching where I was going.” I said with a small shrug.

“Well, good that you keep extra clothes here, I guess.” Shiv said as he gave me the once up and down. “But the other dress fit you better.”

I nodded. “I know, but I kinda like the blue and all that pink does tend to make me feel like a china doll.”

“Did you hit your face?” Ynyth asked suddenly, the light catching the bruising starting show under the make up.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I feel dumb enough as it is.” I had hoped no one would really notice but my friends always did.

She looked at me and nodded. I could see by the expression in her eyes that she, like the others, thought Lord Vader had done this. He had hurt me often enough and left his mark on my face that it was an easy thing to assume. I did not correct them but something about my hesitation had alerted Shiv and he would not let the matter drop.

“It’s not like you to be clumsy; in fact you are one of the most graceful people I know. You wouldn’t be lying to me would you?” He said quietly, taking me aside.

“If I was would you understand that if something else had happened this is neither the time nor the place to speak of it?”

He drew a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, but you better fill me in later or else.” He waggled his finger at me. I just nodded and when the waiter came with my drink I took it from him gratefully and drank a large steadying gulp.

We kept the conversation light, laughed at the silliness we saw around us, made fun of guests and courtiers alike but if I had been asked what had been said I couldn’t have answered. It was a blur.

The reception was surprisingly well attended which meant that Shiv and Ynyth were busy making small talk with whomever came over and joined our little circle. Neither Bobbyn nor I minded being left to our own devices and for the most part we were quite content to just watch the crowd in silence. Bobbyn was always the quiet one but ever since Antygra’s arrest and execution he had withdrawn even further in to his shell. I never knew if he blamed me for what had happened to Tygs or if it was just that with Tygs gone the group dynamics had changed. I had been accepted as one of them only through Shiv’s insistence, Ynyth as his mate had backed him up and somewhere along the line we had also become friends after a fashion but I was Vader’s handmaiden, and no one really trusted me despite what appearances they gave. I didn’t mind not having many friends, it meant less hurt when one of them betrayed me.

It was easy to tell when the Emperor had entered the hall because the electrified quiet that washed over us made me shiver. I looked to the entrance and saw Lord Vader follow in his master’s footsteps. The hushed awe that had settled over the room receded slowly and soon the noise level was back to where it had been before the Emperor and his second in command walked in surrounded by a sea of red from the Royal Guard and the gaggle of colourful courtiers.

I was surprised to see Lord Vader in attendance because he had told me he would not come. I guessed that the Emperor had ordered him to show his face, so to speak, and this meant that Lord Vader would be in a foul mood. I made a mental not to stay away from him because the two of us in a mood was never a good combination. Despite the cheery happy face I was putting on underneath all the fancy dress and finery what I really wanted to do was hurt something. The last thing I needed was a reason and someone to goad me into it. Lord Vader had a knack for picking up my moods and he always knew how to needle me. I didn’t want him to try that in public, bad mood or not.

The Emperor, on the other hand, must have been a great mood because he was actually mingling, something he rarely did any more. There had been many rumours about this failing health. In the few public appearances he had made where I had been present I had noticed he seemed older, shrunken somehow, as though the use of the Force was consuming him from the inside out. I had often wondered what toll using the force as he did must take. I knew from my own small experiences that after it I was very weary. Everything was energy and all that energy had to go some where, my uncle had once said to me. The Force is energy, using it takes its toll, be careful how you wield your power lei’lei. I watched the Emperor carefully, looking for signs of illness or weakness but I saw neither and the power that radiated from him was as strong if not stronger than it had ever been. He moved through the crowd with exquisite grace, Lord Vader at his side a towering, clumsy nightmare, dressed in black to scare. I wondered how many would be scared of him if they knew what he had been before the mask? A reckless hero, desperate for the recognition and love of those too haughty, too blinded by pride, to give it to him. In many ways, I thought, he was still like this, looking to Palpatine for acknowledgement and praise. Despite all the evil he had done, I did not hate Lord Vader, the same could not be said for the shrunken old man at his side.

I was lost in thought when Thrawn, speaking with one of the Emperor’s advisors, made his way gracefully down the stairs that led from the entrance. He was elegance personified and I could not take my eyes off him. I was not alone; other heads turned to look at the blue skinned, red eyed alien whose favour came and went at the Emperor’s whim. I wondered what the courtiers would say if they ever learned the truth. They thought Thrawn was a puppet, a distraction of the Emperor's whose grace at court was tolerated only because he was good at battle tactics. I wondered if the Emperor even knew how deep Thrawn’s brilliance went, and who it was that was manipulating who. He moved with a languid ease through the crowd and my heart raced at the sight of him, though I did my absolute best not to show it. I watched him until he made eye contact with me, and wove his way to where I was standing. Shiv and the others decided that now would be a good time to give me a little space and drifted off into the direction of the buffet table.

Thrawn smiled when he reached me but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I distinctly recall you wearing pink when you left the flat earlier this evening, my dear.” He said quietly.

I nodded, returning smile with one of my own. “And as always, your memory would be perfectly correct.” I sipped my very strong drink.

He gave me a curious glance, the tone of my voice let him know that something wasn’t quite right. “Is everything in order?” He asked quietly.

“If we are talking about the pink dress rule, then yes.” I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Zaarin had finally made his entrance. He was too proud to retreat and it would have looked very bad for him, not showing up as all the other members of the Council of twelve were there and had been long before I had arrived. He didn’t look so well. I was glad.

Thrawn followed my gaze, watching me watch Zaarin. “The pink dress rule?” he asked, his eyebrow lifting slightly.

“Every time I wear a pink dress something bad happens to me.” I said lightly, glancing at Zaarin again from over the rim of my glass. His hand went to his throat often which made me smile.

Thrawn gave me a look which said ‘Explain!’

I turned my attention back to him. “I want you to do something for me.”

He nodded. “If I can.”

“I want you to smile and nod as though the conversation we are about to have is light and fluffy.”

“Merlyn, what is going on?” He asked, frowning slightly.

“Smile.” I urged and glanced around quickly to see where Zaarin was now then turned my attention back to Thrawn. “We are having a lovely time at this wonderful event but I will be heading home soon.” I said through clenched teeth. The flirtatious tilt of my head did not quite match the venom in my voice.

“Are you ill?” he asked.

“No, but I am angry. If I stay here all evening I might do or say something that won’t make anyone very happy. ” I chattered gaily. Then once again looked about to see where Zaarin was heading. Thrawn’s gaze followed mine and for a moment we stood in silence. Then I said. “This event is well attended, don’t you think? All the Grand Admirals are here, even Zaarin.”

“Indeed, although I am surprised to see him arrive so late.” Thrawn said. “I thought he would already be here, there was no Council of Twelve meeting before hand and he is neurotic about punctuality.”

“Well, maybe some fluffy distraction detained him.” I said cheerfully.

Something in my voice made Thrawn study me carefully. “What really happened to your dress?” He asked coldly.

“The dress was unfortunately damaged beyond repair.” I answered. It was the truth.

I watched the muscle in Thrawn’s jaw twitch as he clenched his teeth. “How?”

“Delicate fabric doesn’t tend to do well against brute strength.” I replied.

I knew when he had noticed the bruising I had tried to hide under the makeup because he frowned ever so slightly, his eyes narrowing, and reached over, moving my chin with the tip of his finger to see it better. I felt a ripple of anger from him. “Did you and Vader have a disagreement?” His voice was hard but he kept his expression neutral.

“I will answer that question of yours with a no.” I giggled, sipped my drink and glanced in Zaarin’s direction. “The Grand Admiral doesn’t look so well this evening, does he?”

Thrawn watched where I was looking but said nothing. From under dark lashes he studied the Admiral’s demeanor carefully then looked back at me. “Is he limping?”

“It would appear he has some sort of groin injury judging by his walk. Perhaps he pulled it trying out a new sport, a one on one sport that requires aggression and submission to work properly.” I bantered lightly.

Thrawn stared at me for a moment. It didn’t take him long to put it all together.

“Something happened between you and Zaarin.” His voice had gone flat.

I tilted my head to one side, “Nothing a good knee to his groin couldn’t solve.” I smiled sweetly.

“Merlyn, did he…?” He began.

“He tried.” I answered, cutting him off quickly from voicing his thoughts. I sipped at my drink.

I watched as Thrawn worked to maintain his calm. “Are you….?”

“I’m fine. I am a big girl and I can take care of myself against the likes of him. I’ll have some bruises on my face but nothing worth writing home about.” I said with a casual shrug. “Believe me, he didn’t get what he bargained for and he won’t try it again. He’ll be having… performance issues for a while.”

Thrawn turned away from me. I felt his anger came off him in waves. I watched as he drew a deep breath under the guise of flagging down a waiter. When he turned back to face me he had his emotions under control. I didn’t think that anyone else in the room would even notice that he was upset. He hid his feelings so well that even I would have not seen it unless I had known exactly what to look for.

“Shall I take you home?” He asked coldly as he touched his glass to mine and pretended to sip at his drink.

“No. I need to show him he didn’t win, which is why you need to smile at me.” I told him.

He did one better. Not only did he smile but he reached over and caressed the side of my face tenderly as though we were simply flirting with one another not discussing Zaarin’s attempted assault. It was a gesture that did not go unnoticed. I hoped that it would quell some of the negative rumours and maybe give the gossips something to talk about that did not lead in a Merlyn - Zaarin direction. I did not think it would be prudent for anyone to even imagine anything had happened between he and I, especially not the truth.

Thrawn’s hand slipped behind my hair, around the back of my neck and he drew me close to him, his grip unyielding, so that he could whisper in my ear. “You had better damned well be prepared to enlighten me in full when I return home.” He said, his voice was whip sharp and ice cold. “Now, Miss Gabriel, I do believe it is your turn to pretend everything is light and fluffy.” I had never know him so angry but he hid it remarkably well.

I pulled back from him and turned away shyly and pretended to smile even though his quiet fury had unnerved me. “You should mingle now, otherwise people will talk.” I told him nibbling on my pinkie finger.

He glanced at my trembling hands and said, “People will talk anyway. This evening appears to be rife with rumour, particularly about you and me. I did not know we had such an interesting private life both together and apart.” He replied with such disdain that for a moment I let go of the part I was playing to stare at him, hurt and angry.

“Remember where you are, A’myshk’a.” He spoke softly in Cheunh.

I drew a deep breath and found my smile but it made my jaw ache. “The Imperial Court does love its intrigue.” I said in Basic. “But this keeps the gossips from digging up the real news from behind the scenes, so I don’t mind. Perhaps we can swap stories later on?”

He nodded. “Certainly I shall wish to hear yours.” He replied with a cold smile that went nowhere near his eyes.

I gave him a sweet, girly giggle. The strong drink I was slowly sipping helped me play the coquette. “Enjoy the rest of the evening.” I told him quietly and then I walked away from him without looking back.

I found my way to where Shiv was standing, laughing at something Ynyth had said. I joined in their conversation for about half an hour then I told Shiv I was going home because I wasn’t feeling so well.

“You do look a bit pale. Maybe that accident you had some more damage than you thought? You could stop by the med-lab on your way. ” He said.

“No, I’m fine really, it’s just a headache and I am quite tired.”

“Do you want me to run you home?”

I shook my head. “No, thanks you stay and enjoy the party. I’ll get one of the palace drivers to drop me off.”

“Okay, kiddo. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.” He said and we all went through the kiss-kiss ritual.

I handed my still half full glass to the nearest waiter and meandered through the crowd to leave.

I was almost to the entrance when the Emperor intercepted me. Standing at his side was Grand Admiral Zaarin and several royal guards.

“There you are my dear,” He said. “I was hoping to see you here.”

I curtsied. “Your Highness. The dedication you gave earlier was lovely. The new wing is quite spectacular.” I babbled. I had hoped to avoid seeing Zaarin again so close, so soon.

“Thank you my dear.” He said. “You know Demetrius Zaarin, don’t you?” he asked, gesturing to Zaarin at his side.

I smiled as genuinely as I could. “Yes, we are acquainted with each other.” I said looking at the Grand Admiral. He stared back at me, his eyes were as cold as the smile he managed to give me. I could feet the hate coming off him in waves and knew that if I could sense it so could the Emperor. I shivered involuntarily.

“I was just telling Demetrius about your Bunduki skills and how well you carried yourself at the trials you last took.”

My smile stayed exactly as it was but my anger grew. “Is that so? I didn’t know the Admiral was interested in that sort of thing.”

The Emperor smiled. “Demetri commented on what a delicate little thing you are. I merely told him that looks could be deceiving, you are quite talented.” He said.

“As always, your Highness is very kind with his praise.” I said demurely.

“Oh come now, child, you have done very well in your training. Your skills in defense are to be admired and spoken of.” The Emperor smiled. Then he turned to Zaarin and added. “She was challenged to a death match and killed her opponent, even though she had a punctured lung and a dislocated shoulder. Our Miss Gabriel is really quite lethal, you know.” He said, “Goodness knows what she would do if her fury was truly unleashed.”

Zaarin glanced at the Emperor. “Oh really?” he asked. His voice was still a little hoarse. “One would never suspect such a thing of a simple office girl.”

“Indeed, as I said, looks can be terribly deceiving.” The Emperor said, with a wide, toothy grin.

Zaarin wouldn’t look at me directly and that made me smile a little more. “I have excellent teachers.” I said. “I owe everything I have learned to your kindness, your Highness.” I wondered what he would say if I suddenly dropped the bomb that the Grand Admiral at his side really wanted to kill him and take over his place as ruler of the galactic empire. Then I wondered if that was something the Emperor already knew. It certainly wouldn’t surprise me in the least; he seemed to know everything else.

The Emperor chuckled. “Indeed, child.” He said. “Oh and speaking of looks, what happened to the pretty dress you were wearing earlier? I rather liked the pink, it suited you.”

“I had a little accident and the dress was unfortunately torn.” I said. It was the truth, sort of.

“Oh I do hope that it wasn’t anything serious.” He commented. “Did you hurt your face at the same time?”

I glanced at Zaarin before I could stop myself. He had the good grace to flush and look away. I smiled and then shook my head. “Your Highness’s concern is most touching but really I am fine, I tripped and stumbled, nothing to worry about.”

The Emperor patted my arm. “Then I am glad to hear it. I should be distressed if anything were to happen to you. I do so enjoy your company and your unique talents make you a valuable asset to my court.”

I could feel Zaarin's discomfort coming off him in waves and I was almost certain that the Emperor knew something of what had happened. I feigned embarrassment and glanced away shyly. “Your Highness is very kind.” I said.

“Well, child, I have other guests I must attend to, enjoy your evening. I make certain we have further opportunities to talk when I have more time. I shall let you know.”

“I would be honoured, your Highness.” I dropped another curtsey and smiled waited until he had left, with Zaarin at his side, then as quickly as I could I got out of the reception hall. I could not get home fast enough and the driver had broken several speed limits for me when I had threatened to sic Lord Vader on him.

In the quiet of the flat, I wondered as I stripped off the finery and ran a bath, why I didn’t just get on the nearest transport and get the hell off this planet. It was a question I had no answer for.

In the City that never sleeps 11

2007-03-11T13:39:00.000+01:00

The palace was very quiet. I liked it when it was this way. I walked through the dimly lit hallways quickly, the sound of my high heeled shoes echoing loudly off the marble. I knew two of the guards on security duty and told them they hadn’t missed much when they asked about the ceremony. It would be holo-cast later on anyway; the HoloNet News team had been all over the place.

My office was a refuge of peace and tranquility. I turned on the small corner lamp, filled the kettle up and turned it on and then I went to stand at the window to watch the never ending movement of lights as the traffic flew around the city. When the kettle boiled I made a pot of white chaya leaf tea, poured a cup which I cradled in my hands for warmth then went back to staring out of the window ignoring the work I had intended to do.

This city, this planet which never stopped moving, never slept amazed me almost as much as it repulsed me. Technically, it was a wonder such a place even existed at all but that was more spectacular mechanical engineering than anything else. It was a sort of jungle made from duracrete and metals, life forms of all sorts and processing plants which scrubbed the atmosphere, cleaned the water and provided never ending power. I wondered how many of the millions of beings who lived here really cared about whom was actually in charge. Did it matter who actually ran the government as long as essential services kept working, and salaries got paid, public transportation ran on time. Did the average citizen worry about the inner political workings at all? I didn’t really think so. All most beings cared about was how they would feed, house and clothe themselves and their families, what they would watch on the HoloNet when they got home from work and how much they hated or loved their jobs.

These questions led me to think about the pursuit of power. I wasn’t sure I understood that either. What was the purpose of more power, more fame and more money? Surely there must be a point at which too much was just too much. Greed was a concept I didn’t really get, I had never lusted after material wealth or things. How much junk could a person have in their lives? All the clothes, books, expensive jewels and so on didn’t make one a better person, it just weighed one down. Living on and off of ships had taught me that too much stuff was a burden not a good thing. The less one owned the more freedom one had. I supposed, as I thought about it, that my desires and wants lay in different directions, I just wasn’t sure exactly what they were. I sighed. It hurt my head to think about this topic.

I sipped my tea quietly, enjoying the peace that my office provided. I was so lost in my own thoughts that a knock on the door made me jump. I smiled, thinking Shiv must have driven his speeder like a mad thing to get back so quickly and I used the force to unlock and open the door, a trick he usually made fun of but never tired of seeing it.

“You guys must have broken all the speed limi…” I started but by the time I had turned around I realised that it wasn’t Shiv and Ynyth standing in the doorway it was Grand Admiral Zaarin.

“Good evening, Miss Gabriel.” He said as the door behind him. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.”

There was a pause in time while I assessed this situation. He had a look on his face which said he had made up his mind about something and I probably wasn’t going to like it much.

I kept my voice light. “Grand Admiral Zaarin, what can I do for you at this late hour?”

“I thought you and I might have that little chat about my work now and perhaps I could get to know you a little better.” He said. “I saw you leave the assembly hall and wanted to make sure that you were alright so I followed you. It hasn’t been safe lately to wander around the palace alone. Did you not hear what happened to Prince Xizor?”

I walked over to my desk, put my cup down and turned on the small desk lamp to add more light to the dim room. “Yes, but I am quite sure that was an isolated incident. I’m fine, so there is no need for you to concern yourself with my well being.”

“On the contrary Miss Gabriel, I am quite concerned for you. You don’t seem to understand the sort of trouble a young lady such as yourself might attract.” He casually walked towards the desk, picking up a book then laying it back down again. There was something in his voice that made me look at him carefully.

“I think you underestimate my ability to take care of myself, really I’m fine. You should return to the great hall and enjoy the event.” I said.

He looked at me. “I think I would prefer to enjoy the pleasure of your company in private.”

“That is very flattering but I afraid you will find me quite dull.”

“I doubt that Miss Gabriel.” He said “I rather find you quite fascinating.”

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. This was beginning to sound like a bad Holloway script. “Then I would be happy to chat with you at the reception later but right now, it would be best if you allowed me to return to my work. I am rather busy and Lord Vader is unforgiving if I am not on top of things.” I told him putting a little edge in my own voice.

“You didn’t look terribly busy to me,” He said in a casual manner, “staring out of the window drinking tea.”

I sighed, dropping my I’m being nice face. “Okay seeing as how being polite doesn’t work what about this? Please leave.” I moved so that the desk was between us, making him have to come around it to come to stand in front of me. I wanted my desk and the office door at his back. He took a step forward forcing me to step backwards to avoid closer contact with him.

“You know, Miss Gabriel, I am getting rather tired of being turned away and told ‘no’ by you.” Now we were getting to the truth of the matter.

“Then maybe you should stop asking me for things you can’t have.” I replied. Anger, lust and something I could not quite define rippled through the air. I took another step away from him, wondering how far he would go and how far I should let him. I was not scared. I didn’t think he was a threat to me in any real physical sense and in the back of my mind I saw an opportunity to accomplish what Lord Vader had requested, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t feeling the adrenaline rush through my body.

“There is nothing here I cannot have.” He said casually as he backed me slowly and carefully against the wall behind the desk. Now he was facing me and the wall, he could not see my desk or the entrance to the office.

“I am willing to bet the Emperor would see things a little differently.” I replied, keeping my voice light. We could have been talking about tea instead of what he really wanted.

“The Emperor has no say in how I conduct my private affairs.” He snarled.

“Really?” I asked a little more tartly than I meant to. “I was under the impression that the Emperor rules this galaxy so I would assume he actually does have a say in the affairs of those who work for him.”

He said. “Well, maybe for now that is the case but it won’t always be that way.”

“Oh?”

He moved in front of me, caging me in place with his arms on either side of my body. He was taller than me so I had to look up at him to meet his stare. “Have you considered what would happen to you if the Emperor were no longer in power?” He asked.

I shook my head. “No.” I said. “Why would I ever even imagine such a thing?”

“The Emperor is human.” He said as if that explained it all.

I shrugged. “Well if something ever were to happen to him, I imagine that, as second in command, Lord Vader would take up the slack and I work for him so I don’t think my life would change very much.” I said.

He didn’t like that answer much. His eyes had become cold and hard. He hadn’t done anything yet to make me defend myself so I didn’t have a reason to hit him but I itched to do so. My skin crawled at his closeness. The sour scent of recently drunk champagne on his breath, which was warm on my face, as he spoke to me made me queasy. I didn’t want to provoke him into violence because I hoped to avoid that but he was making me cross. I doubted that if he was on the receiving end of my Bunduki training he would be very chatty about his nefarious plans, if he even had any. I wasn’t entirely sure that Lord Vader was just over-reacting to Zaarin’s ambitions.

Zaarin’s voice was icy as he spoke, “Lord Vader is obsessed with finding one rebel. He is consumed by anger and hatred. His leadership skills are next to non existent. His ridiculous notions cost this Empire precious time, credits and man power! Do not think for a moment that he would take the Emperor’s place. He is a lackey, dressed to put fear into the minions who live only to serve.”

“I am not so sure that he would see it this way.” I commented dryly, not liking how he spoke about the man I worked for.

This clearly puzzled him. “Do you not wish to better your station? Are you not tired of working for a man who does not appreciate your talents?” He asked. His voice was suddenly soft and coercive, but I had heard this speech before, although last time it had been from a man I actually liked and respected. Zaarin’s words did nothing except stir up the spark of anger in my gut.

“I like the work I do, Grand Admiral Zaarin. I also enjoy working for Lord Vader and I have no desire to change that any time soon.”

When he caressed the side of my face I pulled up some of my own power, took the lust I felt from him and showered it back. I knew he felt it because his pupils dilated and he gasped slightly. I hoped it would put him off balance but he just smiled.

“I could make you so much more than you are now, you could be at my side and have everything you ever desired.”

“How would you do that? I don’t think Lord Vader would let me switch jobs and work for you.” I asked not bothering to even tell him I had everything I desired already.

“You would not be working for me, dear, you would be my companion.”

“Oh really.” I said flatly. “Well, I don’t think that would work out.” and then added before I could censor myself, “I already have companionship.” I didn’t miss the flash of anger in his eyes, “Besides the Emperor has made it clear how he feels on relationships between palace girls and members of the Imperial Navy.” I added.

“That rule has not seemed to hamper you any when it comes to Imperial men. I’ve seen how you and that red eyed abomination carry on and I’ve heard the rumours about your … exploits. You have no problems ignoring the rules when it suits your purpose.” He said sharply.

“You really believe all the gossip you hear about me?” I asked.

He ignored me and continued, “There will come a time when the Emperor will not have a say in such things at all.” I caught a flash of hatred. He was not lying, he truly believed that soon enough the Emperor would not be around to dictate any longer. I tried to read more from his words but my skills for that were not very strong. I tried a different tack.

“How do you know this?” I asked. “Is the Emperor ill or something?”

He gave me a predator’s smile and leaned even closer against me. “The Emperor’s health has been failing for many years now. Nothing lasts forever, even stars eventually die.” He said. “It is good to be prepared for all eventualities.”

“I see, so what exactly is it you want of me?” I asked. I was getting tired of this.

“The same thing you apparently give every other man who asks.” He toyed with my hair, tugging one of the Zenji sticks out. “You are quite versed in the art of seduction, I hear. You have Thrawn and Vader seemingly wrapped around your little finger, so I think you already know the answer to that.”

I sighed. “Ah, you think, like everyone else, that I can read your mind?”

“You have a sharp tongue, Miss Gabriel. Not a very attractive trait in a woman.” He said as he pulled out the second Zenji stick and my hair tumbled down about my shoulders. The air around me was suddenly filled with the scent of my shampoo and perfume. He tossed my hair sticks on the floor and ran his fingers through my hair. I winced as he caught a knot and pulled through it.

“Did you come here to chastise me for my lack of manners?” I asked crossly, “Or just play with my hair?”

He smirked. “You’re a feisty little thing, I’ll give you that. I can see why someone like Thrawn would find you fun to play with. I believe he enjoys breaking down difficult challenges. How often did you say no to him before you let him seduce you?”

“What makes you think I ever told him no?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing in the galaxy to say but I didn’t care. I was getting annoyed with him touching me. I was beginning to feel like one of the slave girls at Jabba’s and I didn’t like it very much.

His expression turned ugly. He grasped my jaw roughly, forcing my head back against the wall with a dull thud. For a split second anger flared through me and all I wanted to do was kill him. I bit this back in favour of baiting him just a little more. “Hurting me won’t win you my affections.” I told him.

“I do not wish your affection!” He smiled. He said as he began to touch me in a manner that made me want to vomit on him. His lust was powerful and I used it the same way I had on Myrkr when Thrawn had used my talents to seduce Ormante and his men. Desire clouded men’s judgement and made then loose tongued and dopey. I hoped it would work here as well because if it didn’t I was going to have to end this before it got utterly out of hand.

“Brute strength won’t get you what you want either. Not even the Emperor who is more powerful than you are and rules this Galaxy could force me to do what you want.” I said.

“The Emperor’s power is fleeting.”

“I don’t think so.”

I tried not to wince as Zaarin continued to hold my jaw in a vice like grip and fondle me. He was not gentle. “You are as naive as you are lovely.” He said. “There are always ways in which to bring a tyrant down. Would you not rather be on the winning side?” he asked.

It crossed my mind briefly that the way in which he was man-handling me was how most people tested fruit in the market to see if it was ripe or not. I wondered how any of the women who slept with him put up with it. He had the romantic skills of a rancor. When he pinched me hard enough to hurt I pushed his hand off my breast.

“This behaviour is inappropriate.” I told him. “And you are talking about treason. I won’t be a part of this. I am loyal to the Emperor and I am not yours to touch!”

His eyes narrowed to thin slits. “Did you think you could just tell me to go away and I would? I always get what I want and that includes you, little girl.” He brought his face close to mine and whispered in my ear. “Just because you work for Vader doesn’t make you special. You seem to think you are too good for anyone else but that’s not the case. I know exactly what you are.” His breath was sour and the sudden flashback I had of being in a similar situation when I was younger caused a tiny flash of panic, it lasted only a moment but he had not missed it and I felt his sense of triumph as he pinned me against the wall with one hand.

“You know nothing about me, you repulsive snake, and you never will.” I hissed between clenched teeth.

He backhanded me violently across face. “Oh really, we’ll see about that. By the time I am done with you not even the dregs of Coruscant will want to touch you.”

“You disgust me!” I spat at him, my temper now getting the better of me.

“You need to learn respect, Miss Gabriel.” He said tightly, hitting me a second time. I let my head roll with it this time. When I brought my face back to meet his eyes there was no mistaking the hatred I felt for him in my expression.

“Respect needs to be earned.” I replied and just stared at him. I suppose he read the defiance in my eyes because he suddenly tore the bodice of my dress with both hands. I was glad this dress had allowed me to wear a bra. I shivered as the cool air hit my skin. He leered at me and suddenly the lacy lingerie I had on didn’t seem to cover enough. Of course, I hadn’t worn it with him in mind. “And tearing my clothes won’t earn you mine. It just pisses me off.” I told him.

“You are prideful for Outer Rim trash.” He said. His eyes narrowed when he caught sight of the tiny ma’arilite pendant around my neck. He picked it up between his thumb and forefinger. Something in my expression alerted him that this meant something to me. “What’s this? A gift from the Emperor’s pet?” He spat. “Payment for services rendered? There is another thing I shall get rid of when I am in charge of this Empire. There is no place for freaks like Thrawn.”

So that was what he was planning to do, a coup of some sort. When I didn’t answer he yanked on the chain hard, breaking it and flung the necklace behind him spitefully. I heard it clatter across the desk. I had to swallow my fury but the hate that was boiling away in my belly was starting to get the better of me. Zaarin smiled and ran his finger along the edge of my collar bone. I shuddered. This had nothing to do with sex; this had everything to do with power. I wondered how much longer I should let this continue. His wandering hands decided that for me.

“You are really very pretty; it is too bad that alien has spoilt you for the rest of us. I might have considered making you my wife but I won’t keep tainted goods.”

I drew a deep breath and concentrated. As he pawed at me, I made my first move carefully and used the force to send my tea cup flying across the room where it smashed against the opposite wall loudly. The noise startled him and he turned around to see what it was, worried about getting caught in a compromising situation. The momentary distraction was just enough that I could move. I grasped the hand he had planted on my breast and I twisted it using pressure points causing him pain. He gasped in surprise, pulled his hand free allowing me to shove him further away from me, giving me just enough room to strike.

With a move Boba Fett had taught me called the serpent’s kiss I struck him. It required a little concentration and a lot of accuracy. The hand held straight and stiff, so that the energy from the sudden jab, quick and sharp, flowed through the arm and out of the fingertips like a lightening strike. I hit him just below his Adam’s apple and he stumbled back from me gasping and clutching his throat. It wasn’t as intimidating as Lord Vader’s force choke, but it had the same effect. It was painful and it would feel like dying although it wasn’t fatal. Chances were good that it probably wouldn’t even leave a mark. While he stood trying to breathe I went on the offensive. Using the same technique, I found a second point of pain just under his collar bone and he grunted as his left shoulder and arm went numb. There was a little nerve there that hurt like hell when enough force on exactly the right place was applied.

I knew exactly how painful this was because, when he had been teaching me about pressure and pain points, my uncle had made sure I knew what everything felt like. “So that you know the right points to hit at the right times lei-lei.” He had said. My arm had tingled for at least an hour afterwards and I had been furious with him for doing that to me, but now I was grateful. I wanted Zaarin to suffer and I knew he would.

The surprised expression on Zaarin’s face told me he had not expected this outcome. He had come here with the full intention of taking from me what he thought would be easy to get. To him I was just someone who had said no one too many times. He had wanted to hurt Thrawn and maybe even Lord Vader by hurting me. He had not bargained on me being able to fight back in a way that was not exciting for him. I stared at him in disgust. He was a pathetic, unattractive, older man who was grasping for power that was never his to have. I didn’t care what Thrawn had said, I thought Zaarin was a moron.

He tried to straighten up and for a split second I debated what I should do next, how best to really hurt him because that is what I wanted to do. I wanted to damage him beyond repair and this desire rippled through me like wildfire. I had to fight the urge to let my powers loose and simply attack him without thought at all. Killing him would have been surprisingly easy but would land me in no end of trouble, besides Thrawn had repeatedly told me not to and the last thing I wanted to do was make Thrawn angry at me. I took a deep breath and forced myself to get a grip on the silent rage that flowed through me. I felt the wall of white noise recede and went to turn away from Zaarin but then he opened his mouth.

“You little bitch,” He croaked, his voice was horse with pain. “You’re nothing but Outer Rim trash and that damned alien’s dirty little whore. You should be….” Before he could finish his next insult my anger got the better of me and I smashed my knee up into his groin as hard as I could. I felt rather than heard the rush of air he involuntarily exhaled. Groaning, he sank to his knees with a thud, his face utterly contorted in the white hot agony. I bent down beside him so I could whisper in his ear.

“If you ever touch me again Demetri, I will kill you and I’ll do it in such a way that you will experience the most pain you have ever known in your life. When I am done I will dispose of your body so that no one, not even the Tze’yusha’Jin, will ever find you afterwards. Do we have an understanding? Nod if we do.”

He nodded, his face red from pain and anger.

“You owe me a dress. I’ll be sending you the bill, make sure you pay it.”

I stood up and left the office as quickly as I could. Holding the pieces of torn bodice together, I made my way through the quiet halls to my old flat and let myself in. It had been a while since I had come in here at night. For a single moment I thought I saw something in the shadows move and imagined I heard the whisper of Jyrki’s voice but when I turned on the lights the flat was empty. Ghosts, nothing more. I let out the breath I had been holding and went inside, locking the door behind me. A wave of shock shot through me and I was suddenly shivering and cold. I made my way to the ‘fresher to clean up, washing my face with ice cold water hoping it would clear away some of the shakes. As I stood in front of the small bathroom mirror, stared at my reflection and sighed. My face and jaw were beginning to ache and my hair was a mess. I went into the bedroom to find something to wear. I had pretty much moved everything I owned into Thrawn’s flat but I still kept enough clothes here in case of emergencies. I found a dress that was both suitable and pretty.

The deep cerulean blue set off my eyes. I studied my reflection in the mirror, feeling glad I had left a couple of formal dresses here just in case. I kicked off the pink shoes and slipped my feet in to the strappy little sandals that matched the dress I was now wearing. It was more revealing than the pink dress Zaarin had ruined and because I had lost some weight after it had been made, it was a little loose, but I didn’t think anyone would care too much. It came with a matching shawl which I was grateful for because now in the aftermath of the adrenaline rush, I was cold.

I touched up my make up, taking special care to try and hide the slowly blossoming bruises Zaarin had left. It would not be the first time I had attended a public function with marks like this and everyone would put it down to Lord Vader’s brutality. Still I hid them as best I could. I brushed the tangles from my hair and decided to leave it long and loose. Once I had managed to make a passable job of makeup, I then went into the kitchen to see if there was anything decent left to drink. I was in the process of pouring brandy into a glass when my comm peeped. It was Shiv.

“Hey Rim-Girl, the reception is starting. Where are you?”

“In my old flat, I had a bit of an accident and needed a change of clothes.”

“What sort of accident? Are you okay? You sound a bit odd.”

“I tripped on that stupid rug in my office and tore my dress, I’m fine. I’ll be there shortly.”

“Okay, see you soon.” He said sounding concerned. I could tell he wanted to ask more but I switched my comm off before he could and before anyone else could message me.

I sipped the brandy thoughtfully, going over in my head what had happened. Zaarin had not been very forthright about concrete information on his plans. I would have liked to have learned more but I was certain that he would never have told me, not even if I had slept with him voluntarily. Still, I thought as I let the brandy wash over my tongue, I had an idea of what he wanted to do. He wanted to get rid of the Emperor and take his place. Zaarin wanted to rule the galaxy. I just had no idea how he was going to go about trying to make that happen. It seemed to me, as I sat in the dimly lit kitchen that men like Zaarin just did not understand that nothing taken by force ever lasted. I swore silently to myself that the next man who ever tried that with me would just die. No more playing around. I was not a piece of merchandise to be manhandled and pawed at. With a sigh I drained the glass and made my way to the reception. The evening was off to an interesting start, I hoped that no one else tried anything with me because I was definitely in the mood to kill.

In the City that never sleeps 10

2007-03-08T12:40:00.000+01:00

Lord Vader stood statue still, with his hands behind his back, watching the crowd. I stood at his side and waited quietly. He liked to make a dramatic entrance so he always paused before entering a crowded room. The buzz of voices in the great audience hall died to a dull whisper when he swept down the stairs to the grand foyer with me in tow, desperately trying not to step on his billowing cloak.

Lord Vader was many things but the life of the party was not one of them. As he passed through the crowd, people stepped back from him, giving him room to move through the crowd. He paid no attention to the hush and once the shock of seeing him had passed the conversation level rose back to normal. I watched as the momentary stillness was broken by elegant wait staff winding their way through the throng. They did not even stop doing their jobs for a moment. I was tempted to snatch a glass of what ever it was they were serving but decided not to. The drinks had that tell tale sparkle which let me know they had been laced with glow spice.

As he stalked through the room, with me trailing in his wake, several people stopped to speak with him, mostly Grand Moffs and members of the Admiralty. The conversations were dull and I stayed in the Dark Lord’s shadow, letting my mind drift. I nearly jumped out of my skin with fright when someone touched my shoulder from behind. I turned around to stare in to Grand Admiral Zaarin’s face.

“My apologies, I did not mean to startle you, Miss Gabriel.” He said with a pleasant smile.

“Good evening, Grand Admiral Zaarin,” I smiled back at him.

“Please Miss Gabriel, call me Demetri.”

We’d been through this dance before. I just nodded and smiled. “As you wish.”

“Will you be watching the ceremony from here or from the balcony with Lord Vader?” He asked.

“That depends on Lord Vader’s wishes.” I answered. “What about you?”

“As a member of the Council of Twelve I shall be with the Emperor as he gives his speech. It would, of course, be made all the more pleasant by your presence.” He punctuated his statement with a casual caress of my forearm. I moved so that the contact was broken. His smile slipped a little.

“I must admit I am surprised to see you here, I thought that you would be busy with your engineering projects.” I said. “I understand they are quite time consuming.”

“Ah yes, well the Emperor wished all twelve of his Grand Admirals be present for the dedication ceremony.” He said casually, “and of course we live to serve.”

“Of course.” I smiled. There was a lie underneath his words and he was not at all happy to be here. “So your projects are going well?” I asked again.

He gave me a tight smile. “The last time we spoke you did not seem terribly interested in me or my work.”

“On the contrary, as I recall, you discussed your work at great length ruining several fine linen napkins in the process. I am very interested in the newest technology the Empire is creating.” I said. I am just not interested in you, I thought.

“Ah yes, of course. Well, the designs I spoke of with you have been finalised and many new ones in various test phases.” He said.

“I heard a rumour that you were working on trying to cloak ships, that sounds very exciting.”

He paused for a second but I just gave him a smile. “It has been a project in the planning stages for a while but there is no real project to speak of, plenty of ideas and plenty of problems.” He said. I didn’t have to dig to even feel the lie underneath the words.

“So there is no prototype yet?” I asked.

“Not yet, but the conceptual designs are worth looking at. It is quite exciting actually; perhaps if Lord Vader is so inclined you would be permitted to visit the facility and you could see them for yourself, I understand your clearance would allow that, if not I am sure I could find a way to have an exception made.”

“I’ll try to catch him on a good day and ask.” I replied with a light smile.

He paused for a moment and studied my face then said, “You know you might want to consider changing jobs and working for a less … difficult member of the Imperial Navy.” He spoke casually but underneath his words was an anger I couldn’t quite place. “I am certain the Emperor would permit you to transfer to assist another officer, or department.”

“Oh, I don’t think I’d want to transfer. I like my job, it is always interesting.” I said sweetly.

As he leaned in closer to me, he said. “You seem genuinely interested in my work, you have the engineering skills to make you a useful assistant to me and I would enjoy working closely to you. Surely your skills are being wasted under Lord Vader?”

“Well, I think you would have to ask him about that, I cannot judge if he wastes my talents but I think he might disagree with you.”

He simply smiled. “I could provide you with an interesting job and I guarantee you it would not be so dangerous.”

I moved back from him just a step and gave him a polite smile. “Oh, I don’t know about that, believe it or not my job is extremely interesting and,” I said, “I imagine you can be quite dangerous when you wish to be.”

A shadow crossed his face as he sorted out the meaning behind my words but he hid it well. “I shall take that as a compliment, Miss Gabriel.”

I played with a lock of my hair and smiled coyly but before I could say anything else Lord Vader came to stand beside me and engaged Zaarin in conversation. While the two men spoke I listened with that strange inner sense but despite the impression Zaarin was hiding something, I could not tell much at all. He was very strong willed and not easily bent to the force. It was frustrating.

“Merlyn!” Lord Vader suddenly snapped in my mind.

I blinked up at him then realised that Zaarin had been speaking to me directly.

“Oh I’m sorry Grand Admiral, you were saying?”

Demetrius Zaarin smiled tightly. “I was just telling Lord Vader of your interest in my work and then I commented that you look quite radiant this evening.”

“Uhm, Thank-you. I have to give the credit to my dress maker, Cati, she really does create miracles.” I said, a little taken aback by his sudden compliment.

Zaarin watched us for a moment and then continued to speak to me. “I noticed that you did not accompany with Admiral Thrawn, although I saw that he arrived shortly after you did. I did not realise he had returned to Coruscant and I am surprised he did not require your company for this event.” He was fishing.

I shrugged, “Admiral Thrawn does not require my company for anything.” I answered coolly. I did not like the ripple of hatred that had slipped into the words Zaarin spoke.

“So you are here on your own?”

I smiled. “No, I am with Lord Vader.” The dark lord glanced at me but said nothing.

“Ah, yes, of course. Will your delightful assistant be accompanying you to the balcony to watch the Emperor’s speech?” He asked Lord Vader.

“I suppose she may join us and watch the festivities.” He replied. I hated it when men spoke about me as though I were not standing right in front of them.

“That’s kind of you, my lord.” I said a tad more tartly than I had meant to. Lord Vader said nothing but I felt the tiny Force nudge to behave. I knew that he wanted me to read Zaarin and if that meant forcing me to be near the Grand Admiral, Vader would play that game. I bit my tongue, I could get away with being a smart mouth with lord Vader in private but never in public.

Zaarin’s smile widened just a little. “Perhaps after the official ceremony is over we shall have more time to discuss my work.” He punctuated this statement with a brush of his hand on my arm.

“Perhaps.” I said lightly, moving back from his reach. I did not like that he kept touching me as though suddenly I was his property.

“Then I shall look forward to later on.” He said.

I was saved from having to answer by the announcement that the ceremony was about to begin. The speeches and the actual dedication would take place out on the huge balcony which over looked the main palazzo allowing the general public, who waited eagerly beyond the barriers set up by security, to see and hear the words of the Emperor. I followed Lord Vader up the stairs to the balcony where seating had been arranged. I felt the glances and heard the whispers that swirled about as the crowd moved back in to fill the space we had made. I wasn’t sure what the buzz was for this time and the attention I was being shown was a little more than I usually got but I didn’t mind. I was more than used to being the topic of people’s idle chatter and the subject of their gossip.

The new Assembly wing had been in construction for just over a year and contained a very large theatre style auditorium, a set of new conference rooms, a new daycare center for palace workers and a public access library. A great deal of fuss had been made about the new wing because it had been incredibly expensive to build and there had been several nasty articles on the HoloNet about the waste of tax payer’s money. The writers of these articles had all met with surprising and sudden accidental deaths.

The Emperor arrived with all his usual fanfare and entourage, including six royal guards. The guards never ceased to amaze me, they moved like red ghosts, silent and eerie. Standing in semi circle around the Emperor as he sat on the chair provided for him. Along with the guards were his advisors, pale, pinch faced men with beady eyes and a lust for power so great they seemed swallowed whole by it, and the beautiful courtesans who adorned the Emperor’s entourage like the pretty jewels they all wore. I noticed that Mara Jade was among them and sat close to her master. A great hush washed over the masses of people and while I was never sure quite how the Emperor managed to inspire such awe I was certain his use of the Force had a great deal to do with it.

Lord Vader, being who he was, did not sit but instead chose to stand directly behind me, freeing up a chair which Grand Admiral Zaarin decided he could take instead. I glanced at him and he gave me a sly smile. I sighed, wondering if my plan of using Lord Vader as a shield had backfired a little bit. I glanced around and saw that the entire council of twelve were present, but of Thrawn there was no sign. I guessed he had not been invited up to the balcony, after all, in theory, he was still in disgrace.

‘How long will this take, do you think?’ I asked Lord Vader silently.

‘How should I know?’ Came his cross reply. He hated these functions even more than I did and he was very unhappy that attendance for this one had been mandatory. ‘No more than half an hour, the Emperor has other things to deal with tonight.’

I turned around to look up at him. ‘Oh?’

I felt his scowl as he looked down at me. ‘For Sarlacc’s sake, girl, mind your own business, stay out of things that do not concern you!’

I turned back to sit straight and gaze out over the crowd of people. While the overall mood seemed festive enough the under currents were anything but. Recent battle at Hoth, general unrest and small skirmishes out on the Outer Rim had people in the core concerned. The Core worlds, which enjoyed the most Imperial protection, did not like disruptions in the shipping lanes and the effects of what had happened to Alderaan still lingered in people’s minds.

The Emperor stood as he began to speak; loudspeakers amplified his voice for all to hear. His speech contained a lot of words like great and glorious. He was an excellent public speaker, I suppose that came from his days as chancellor of the senate but as I sat with my hands clasped on my lap; one leg crossed over the other, I mostly tuned him out. I had heard a variation of this speech many times and I no longer believed it.

My thoughts turned to what Thrawn had talked about earlier. The Emperor’s dirty secret, he had said. I didn’t understand what he had meant by that. I had always been under the impression that Palpatine liked having Thrawn around and that the two worked closely together, conspiring to bring the vast Empire under tighter control but after our conversation I was not so sure any more. I was so deep in my thoughts that when Zaarin put his hand on my thigh I jumped in fright. He leaned over and whispered a comment about how glorious the new wing was.

I turned to look at him. The hand on my thigh moved in a slight caress. Even though there were people seated in front of us blocking any view of what he was doing I didn’t think causing a scene would be the smartest move. I took his hand in mine gently and gave him a sweet smile. He returned the smile with one of his own and I could feel his surprise. He was about to be surprised further. I let my fingers run over his hand until I found that tender spot between the thumb and palm and then I applied enough pressure to cause pain. Zaarin snatched his hand away with a hiss that made Lord Vader stir behind me. I felt the dark lord’s subtle warning to behave.

“He’s being a nerf herder, can’t you force choke him or something?” I asked by way of explanation.

“No.”

‘If he touches me again, I’ll have to seriously hurt him.’ I told him.

‘Behave yourself or I will deal with you!’ Came the terse reply. I was on my own with this latest problem.

I didn’t have time to reply because the Emperor had finished his speech and we were all expected to stand and applaud while he turned his back on the crowd, swallowed up by his royal guardsmen and was whisked away to the safety of some inner sanctum.

With a sigh I followed Lord Vader out, Zaarin walking behind me decided to push his luck by placing his hand on my back, a few centimetres too low to be polite but not low enough to be down right improper. I gritted my teeth as we left the balcony and used the force to shift one of the chairs we walked past just enough so that he stumbled on the leg. I quickened my pace to put enough distance between us so he couldn’t touch me again. It was a relief to reach the main hall and even more so when Shiv found me standing beside Lord Vader.

“Lord Vader, good to see you, sir.” Shiv said politely. “I trust you are well?”

I watched as Lord Vader regarded Shiv for a moment and then gave him a slight nod. “Yes.” He said pointedly and then walked off to speak with a Moff, whose name I didn’t know.

“He’s in a chatty mood, isn’t he?” Shiv said with cheerful sarcasm.

“Don’t be a Hutt-head.” I smiled.

“Listen, I have to go pick up Ynyth and Bobbyn. Do you want to come with me?” There was almost an hour to go before the private reception started.

I shook my head. “Not really, I was thinking that I’d go to my office, finish up some work and have a cup of tea.” The thought of negotiating Coruscant traffic with Shiv driving made me inwardly cringe. He was not the best driver I had ever seen and usually I spent any trip I made with him with my eyes half closed.

“Work?”

“I always have work to do.” I said. “But there is a last minute project Lord Vader wants done as soon as possible. I thought I would take advantage of the quiet time to get a start on it.”

“He’s such a slave driver.” Shiv said. “Hey, I see your Admiral is back on planet.” He commented nodding over in the direction of the main entrance.

I looked up and saw Thrawn speaking with one of the Emperor’s advisors. “Yes, he came in late last night.”

Shiv grinned at me. “Oh?”

“No ‘oh’ just good to have him back for a while.” I told him. Then I asked, “Why didn’t Ynyth come with you for the public part of this shindig? I thought we all had to be here?”

“Mandatory is just the Empire’s way of making sure some people come to these functions. No one really cares. She couldn’t be bothered to sit through all the speeches; it’s not as if we haven’t heard them before. No one important misses us minions at these things but they will probably ask about her at the reception so I told her I’d pick her up after the public dedication.”

“True enough. I wish I could have avoided coming though.” I said ruefully, glancing around to see Grand Admiral Zaarin staring at me in a way that reminded me of how scyks looked at prey. I glanced away from his gaze.

“Do you want us to stop by your office and pick you up or shall we all just gather at the reception?” Shiv asked.

“Oh at the reception is fine. Things won’t get going for a while anyway so take your time. You can comm me if you need to.” I said stifling a yawn.

Shiv grinned. “No sleep last night?”

I shook my head. “It will surprise you but actually, I slept the whole night through. The Admiral came back very late so it’s not what you think. This event is just dull.”

He nodded. “Well, you could go talk to Zaarin, I’ve noticed him giving you the eye.” Shiv teased.

I made a face. “Ugh don’t talk to me about that slimo. He’s all hands on tonight; I don’t know what’s gotten into him. It’s as if someone gave him the go ahead to feel me up at every opportunity.”

“Well, maybe the rumour that you and Thrawn broke up might have something to do with that.” Shiv said studying his nails.

That raised my eyebrows. “What? Where did that one come from?”

“He’s here, you’re here but you didn’t arrive together, you haven’t said a word to each other in public and I suppose someone figured he’d dumped you. It’s been a while since anyone saw you two actually together at an official function. It’s not as if you advertise your relationship with one another in the first place. That’s how rumours start and they spread like wild fire. So far in the last hour I have heard three variations on exactly how he dumped you. It was very dramatic and you are devastated by the way. There are two accounts on how you cheated on him with someone. No one is sure who it was you cheated with but good money is, of course, on Zaarin. According to one of the courtesans I spoke to, Thrawn is so heart broken he cannot even bear to look at you. And lastly, one very odd story about you being pregnant with Thrawn’s love child which he refuses to acknowledge. According to my source, you should start showing in a couple of months and it’s a boy.”

I shook my head. “I do so love this crazy place and its penchant for insane gossip, but that would explain why Zaarin suddenly thinks I am free for the taking and has been pawing at me since I arrived. Guess I am going to have to educate him on the error of his ways.”

Shiv smiled. “I take it that none of those rumours are true then?”

“Not even close.” I told him. “Things on the home front are good, I think. He’s only been back since late last night so we haven’t had much time to catch up yet, but so far things are fine.”

“Glad to hear it, you two are my faith in romance.”

“Oh, like you and Ynyth aren’t a solid, albeit secretive, couple.” I teased him.

Shiv just smiled. “Speaking of Ynyth, I suppose I’d better go so that I get back here in time to enjoy the wonderful canapés and dull conversation. The traffic will be hell with everyone who was watching the speeches trying to get back home from here.”

“Yep, not good to keep her waiting and you know how Bobbyn gets if he thinks he will be late.”

Shiv laughed. “And people think I’m neurotic.” He gave me a kiss on each side of my cheek. “Okay kiddo, we’ll see at the reception. If we get back before the doors open we’ll stop by your office.”

“Drive safely.” I waggled my fingers at him and watched as he sauntered out of the hall. I glanced at the chrono on the wall; I had about an hour before the private reception in the Tarkin room began. I turned to leave only to come face to face with Zaarin holding two glasses of some sparkly drink.

“I took the opportunity to fetch you a drink.” He said with a smile. “I thought you might be thirsty.”

I looked at the glass and shook my head. “That’s very kind of you, but I am afraid I cannot drink that.”

“Oh?” He asked. “Why is that? Is the drink not to your liking?”

I was about to answer when Thrawn suddenly appeared at my side. He saluted Zaarin who had to hand one of the glasses he had been holding to me so that he could return Thrawn’s salute. I had to fight the urge to giggle. The two men may have despised one another but that did not mean they did not observe proper courtesy.

“Miss Gabriel is allergic to glow spice.” Thrawn said as he removed the glass from my hand to place it on the tray of a passing waiter in one fluid, elegant motion.

Zaarin looked at us both but neither Thrawn’s nor my body language was telling him anything other than we knew one another. Thrawn was his usual cool, reserved self and I made sure I did not show my delight and relief at his sudden presence by my side.

“Oh, I see.” Zaarin said after a moment. “I was not aware of this. Is it a serious allergy?”

The lie in his words was so strong it felt like a slap. I simply nodded at him. “It can be.” I said simply. I didn’t need to go into details. He knew them intimately despite his words to the contrary.

“And how is it that you are aware of this Admiral?” Zaarin asked Thrawn coolly.

“I remember her telling a waiter of this fact at the Grand ball several years ago.” Thrawn replied in an offhand almost bored. “It was an usual allergy so it stuck in my mind, causes severe headaches if I recall correctly” He added looking at me. I nodded in agreement.

Zaarin nodded and sipped his drink. “Yes, that is unusual.” He said. “You have my apologies, Miss Gabriel, shall I order you something else not so detrimental to your health?”

I opened my mouth to say no but Thrawn interrupted. “I must apologise for being impolite but I would be grateful if I could have a few moments of your time alone, Grand Admiral. There are some items I would very much like to discuss with you. I have a meeting I must attend to in a few moments and I have no idea how long it will take, so I am afraid I must intrude upon your time here and now.”

Zaarin looked at Thrawn for a moment and then nodded, “Of course, Admiral. Miss Gabriel, if you would excuse us?” he said politely dismissing me.

I was only too happy to comply. “Gentlemen.” I said with a little nod of my head and turned to vanish into the crowd which was beginning to thin out. With the public dedication finished and some time until the private reception began people had either decided to go home in between or sit and wait in small groups, chatting quietly. I glanced about looking for familiar faces but there was no one I knew well enough to chat with and although a few people stopped me as I meandered through the crowd to make polite small talk I was, for the most part, left alone.

I glanced at the chrono on the wall and figured out that I had just enough time to go to my office, make myself a cup of tea and finish up on some things I had to do. As I took one last glance around the room I saw that Lord Vader and a few other key figures had left the main hall. I caught sight of Lianna, who was really called Mara Jade, coming to stand beside Sate Pestage. Their conversation looked tense.

As usual, she looked lovely and I wondered what Pestage was saying to her because surprise and suspicion crossed her face for a second. I watched them converse for a few moments longer and then she nodded at something Pestage had said and turned gracefully to leave the hall. I watched as Pestage walked to where Thrawn and Zaarin were having their discussion, interrupting them. As Pestage spoke, Thrawn glanced around the room, his eyes caught mine, I went to give him a little wave but an almost imperceptible movement of his head made me change my mind. He held my gaze for a few seconds longer than necessary and then at Pestage’s urging he too left the hall. I glanced back briefly to where Thrawn had been standing only to find Zaarin staring at me. I pretended I had not noticed and left for the solace of my office.

In the City that never sleeps 9

2007-03-04T19:12:00.000+01:00

In difference to Cati’s advice I did not put rosebuds in my hair. While the idea sounded lovely it was a little too cute for my tastes. I tied it up with a set of bone Zenji sticks, nice and simple, with ringlets to frame my face. I studied my reflection in the full length mirror in the hall. I had told Cati that if she wanted to make me a pink dress, it couldn’t be strapless, it needed to be comfortable and above all it needed to be something I could kick someone’s teeth in while wearing it, if I had to. The last pink dress I had worn had been a hindrance in a situation where teeth kicking would have been useful. I sighed at the reflection of the person in the mirror. There were days when I didn’t recognize myself any more.

“That was a terribly big sigh.” Thrawn said as he walked out of the bedroom.

“Just thinking.” I said as I moved aside to let him use the mirror.

“About?” He straightened his jacket and brushed off some non existent dust from his left arm.

“The girl I used to be and the one I am now.”

He glanced at me as I leaned against the wall. “Are the two so very different?” He asked moving aside.

“Yes, maybe, I don’t know. Some days it feels as though I only just arrived here from Tatooine and other days it is as if my life there almost never happened.” I just shrugged and went back to standing in front of the mirror so that I could put on my necklace. “And I was just thinking that if this stupid reception wasn’t considered mandatory I’d be curled up in my favourite chair reading a book.”

“If this reception was not mandatory I would be whisking you away to a dark corner, no reading just conversation.” Thrawn purred in my ear as he stood behind me. “We have not yet had a chance to …talk since my return.”

On any other night his teasing would have been enjoyable but right now it was just annoying. “You can steal me away afterwards.” I told him tartly, getting frustrated as I fussed with the pendant I was trying clasp around my neck.

“Here, allow me.” He took the pendant from my fingers. I had decided to wear the very first one he had given me, the tiny delicate one. It matched the dress better and I figured no one would ask questions about it. He kissed the nape of my neck when he was finished, and despite my mood, goose bumps prickle up and down my arms.

“You look lovely, my dear. That dress suits you very well.” He brushed the backs of his fingers along the sides of my bare arms.

“Cati does work miracles.” I said with a shiver.

He nuzzled the side of my neck, “Your perfume is intoxicating.”

“Of course it is, you bought it for me.” I told him moving away from his affectionate play.

I felt him smile. “I thought it would suit you.” He whispered in my ear. “And I was right.” My heart thumped painfully in my chest. While my mind wasn’t on seduction, my body sure was. I sighed again.

“If you keep that up I’ll be late and you will have to explain to Lord Vader why.”

“It could be worth it.” He said, enjoying the game he was playing. He knew I wasn’t really in the mood for his seduction but sometimes he liked to push anyway.

I turned around to face him. His dress uniform had been pristinely cleaned and pressed, his hair had been recently cut and he also smelled wonderful. “I seem to recall you saying something about me not ending up in a med lab.” I told him. “Something about having plans? But if you tick Lord Vader off I will be the one who suffers for it, so behave!” I poked him in the chest to let him know I wasn’t kidding.

He arched an eyebrow and caught my hand in his before I could jab at him again. “Why are you so cross? Usually you enjoy these functions.”

I made a face. “Usually I am not expected to play human lie detector for Imperial officers.” I snapped.

There was a flash of anger in his eyes. “Ah, Lord Vader is requiring you to be pleasant to a certain Grand Admiral again?”

“In a manner of speaking, he thinks Zaarin is up to something, or better to say lying about his work.” I said.

“Everyone in the Empire lies about their work, it comes with the territory.” Thrawn said coolly.

“Well, Lord Vader doesn’t seem to trust Zaarin any more. I don’t trust him either but for completely different reasons.”

“Understandable, my dear, I would prefer you not engage in spy games with Zaarin, the Empire has people trained for this job but I suppose simply trying to sift out truth from lie while conversing with the man at a public event could not hurt.”

“No, probably not but if he tries to hurt me, or touch me again I’ll hurt him, I swear it.”

That comment made Thrawn clench his jaw. “That would not be an advisable action. Zaarin still has the Emperor’s favour and is a valued member of the Imperial Navy. Do not get yourself into something you cannot get out of. Please be careful.” I wasn’t sure what irked him more, the thought of Zaarin putting his hands on me or me putting mine around Zaarin’s neck.

“I’m always careful.”

He shook his head and smiled. “No you are not, what you are is lucky. There is a difference.”

“Puh!” was the only thing I could think of in reply. He smiled at that and caressed my face gently.

“Stop worrying so much about things you have no control over. Zaarin is not your concern.” He said.

“Lord Vader makes it my concern. Zaarin’s attentions make him my concern.” I shot back.

“If you are not careful I shall start to worry about this other man you spend so much time obsessing over.” He said.

“Jealous?” I asked.

“Cautious.” He countered.

“Why? Are you afraid I’ll suddenly run off with the Grand Admiral?”

“Is that something you feel you are likely to do, sj’iu tekari?” His fingers moved from my face to stroke the back of my neck. I glared at him, doing my best to mask the desire that he was creating. The look he gave me in return was pointed and intense. The massive seismic charge which exploded in my gut made me drop my gaze from his. I just sighed and shook my head.

“No. The thought of him anywhere near me is repulsive.” I shot back.

He gave me a grin. “That is good to know.” He said. “I should hate to think I could be replaced.”

“I haven’t had time to find anyone else.” I shot back. “Besides I rather enjoy your company, when you are around.”

“We do have some catching up to do, don’t we.” He smiled.

“I thought that’s what we were doing now?”

He gave a small shake of his head. “Right now I am doing my best to dissuade you from doing something foolish.” He said. I made a spitey face but he continued speaking before I could say anything to counter this statement, “I would much prefer our intimate conversation not include thoughts over this other man whom neither of us particularly likes.”

I glanced up at him. “Well, if you’d let me deal with him then I wouldn’t have to think about him.” I drew a finger across my neck.

He smirked. “Yes, and that would present you with a whole other set of new problems. While Zaarin maybe distasteful to you he is still a valued member of the Imperial Navy not some renegade turned rebel.” His fingertips played up and down the nape of my neck. “Let Palpatine deal with the Grand Admiral and allow me to deal with you.” He leaned in and murmured in my ear. His breath was warm. I closed my eyes, drawing a deep breath to take in his scent of soap, spice and something I could never define but made me shivery and achy.

“Well, don’t start something you can’t finish now.” I grumbled, my palms flat against his chest.

He lifted my chin upwards with the tip of his forefinger. His smile was charming. His kiss was teasing, slow, and made my knees tremble. When he pulled away from me I was both cross and aroused.

“That was so not fair.” I said when I found my voice.

“Of course not, but tactically it was the best way to distract you.” He brushed his cheek against mine, “A little reminder of my prowess in the art of non verbal warfare.” He murmured. His skin felt cool against the blush of my own.

“I can hurt you, you know, with my hands not my tongue.” I told him without any real conviction.

He smiled slowly, “Promises, promises,” he said, which earned him a smack on the arm.

“I have to get ready; the driver will be here soon.” I said. “This little extra curricular activity you may or may not be a part of after the public reception better not tire you out too much!” As soon as the words were out of my mouth the mood between us changed from playful to serious.

He lifted an eyebrow and gave me a cool look. “It would be wise not to even think about mentioning that outside of this flat, tekari.” He said. “You are not supposed to know about this.”

“This is a really big deal isn’t it?” I asked.

His answer was taciturn. “Yes.”

“Then why so hush-hush?” I asked.

“Because I am the Emperor’s dirty secret.” He said stepping back from me.

I looked at him in puzzlement. Sometimes the games that went on in Palpatine’s inner circle were utterly perplexing. “What is that supposed to mean?”

He drew a deep breath and made that face I had come to associate with lengthy and unsatisfying answers. “It is a very complicated real life game of dejarik. There are a lot of things going on right now, none of which I am at liberty to talk about and none which I want you involved in. I don’t want you to be any more of a target than you already have been.” He caressed my face with his fingertips. The teasing tone from earlier had vanished.

I cocked my head to one side, put my hands on my hips and stepped back from his touch. “Do you think I am too stupid to understand the complicated game of internal intrigue?” I couldn’t keep the annoyance I felt out of my voice. I was tired of being kept at arm’s length when it came to his political affairs, especially when they somehow managed to involve me.

His jaw tightened. “On the contrary,” He said coldly, “I keep you out of this side of my business because if I have to worry about you, on top of everything else, I may lose my concentration. You are the one element in my life I cannot seem to predict. You make things chaotic. This is a very dangerous game I am playing and I need to know you are not in the line of fire.” He played with one of the strands of hair which curled by my cheek. “Leave this alone. Tonight just play along and be pretty palace decoration because while I know what you are capable of, know how strong you are and how dangerous you can be when pushed in the right direction, most of the people who have power out there don’t. At the moment you are not a threat to any of the major players. I would prefer it stays that way. Zaarin happens to be one of those players and believe me when I say this; he is far more dangerous than you like to think. As with so many others in this Empire he plays his role to perfection. He may come off as a lecherous bastard but I am certain this is just a ruse for something else, something bigger and not pleasant.”

“So he’s not actually interested in me?” I asked, not bothering to keep the bite of sarcasm out of my voice, “and all his attentions are just for show?”

Thrawn smiled slowly. “Oh, tekari I have no doubts that he would bed you in a heartbeat if you gave him the slightest chance but there is more to his advances than meets the eye. It is not like him to be so persistent in his pursuit of a woman who clearly does not want him. In all my time in the Empire and for as long as I have known him, he has never been so single minded about a female before. This leads me to conclude there is more to his desire to have you than simply satisfying his lust. You are, after all, the one person, aside from the Emperor who knows Lord Vader better than anyone else. Such knowledge would be invaluable to a man like Zaarin.”

“You make it sound so sinister.” I said with a scowl.

“That would be because it is sinister, my dear. Zaarin is intelligent, powerful and dangerous. He has tried to kill me and he has tried to kill you. He is not what he appears to be and Vader should know better than to place you in the middle of it all.” He said sharply. He stared at me making sure I got he message he was trying to send. When I didn’t answer, he sighed. “A’myshk’a, the very last thing I planned for was having someone I truly cared for in my life, you know this. Yet here you are, exactly the distraction I don’t need while I am engaged in these political campaigns. Eventually you will know everything, so please back down; this isn’t a contest of wills between you and me, don’t turn it into one just because you don’t get your own way.” He spoke earnestly; the concern in his voice outweighed the frustration of arguing with me. I knew two things for sure. He wasn’t lying and he was a little worried, the latter was very unsettling. For a moment we just stared at each other and then I gave way.

“If you insist.” I said giving him a slight, tight smile.

“I do.” He replied. He cupped my face with both hands, making me look up at him.

“Okay, for you I’ll do the palace fluff thing tonight but you’ll owe me for it.” I didn’t bother to hide my annoyance and frustration. I was getting tired of these games.

His smile turned wolf like. “That is a debt I am certain I will enjoy repaying then.”

I just rolled my eyes. The door chime rang letting me know the driver was here. “I have to go.”

“Best not to keep Lord Vader waiting then, he’s not the most patient man in the galaxy.” He nodded, handing me my wrap.

I planted a quick kiss on his cheek, grabbed my purse and left. He would not be far behind me and although we would not be attending this event as a couple, I took a lot of solace in knowing he would be there.

In the City that never sleeps 8

2007-03-01T07:31:00.000+01:00

Like Prince Xizor, Lord Vader had a large extravagant castle near the Imperial Palace. Unlike the Prince or the Emperor, Lord Vader did not bother himself with interior design and décor. His home was sparsely furnished and the walls were mostly bare. For the most part I found it incredibly gloomy and despite the glowing write up it had been given in the Coruscant lifestyle magazine, Famous Homes and Famous People, it was anything but warm and welcoming, although the description of minimalist was pretty much spot on. Even so, Lord Vader preferred to spend his time here whenever possible. He said there were fewer distractions which, for him, was mostly true.

From my office at the Imperial Palace to my work space in his home it should have taken about a twenty minute walk but that was never the case. Usually it took closer to forty minutes to an hour depending on how cranky security was feeling. Despite the fact that pretty much everyone on his staff knew me, the rigorous screening and security checks that everyone had to go through in order to be granted access were mandatory and the guys delighted in stopping me at every single turn. Mostly, I didn’t mind because it was more an excuse on their part to hear any gossip that was going on in the palace than out of spite. Sitting at a check point all day guarding the entrances to Lord Vader’s home and the Imperial Palace was not the most exciting job in the world and I usually had some tidbit of gossip to keep them happy. It was a decent excuse to procrastinate getting there. I hated it when he wanted me to work from his home.

For the longest time it had meant sitting in the depressingly cold room he called a study with bad lighting and uncomfortable greel wood furniture. Even worse than the freezing cold gloom was that there was no place to make tea or have lunch unless I found my way through the palatial labyrinth of corridors to the servants’ quarters and swipe stuff from them. Needless to say they were not pleased about my intrusion on their space and a little war of wills had ensued.

After a while my complaints must have annoyed him into action because he eventually had the study renovated into a warm, bright office with an adjoining small kitchen and refresher that was more or less solely mine. It didn’t mean I liked working from his home any more but at least it was more comfortable than it had been. Located in the west wing, near his training rooms and the room with the hyperbaric chamber it was usually a quiet place, but not always.
I was in the middle of making stimcaf when I felt rather than heard someone behind me.

“He’ll be cross that you bypassed his security again.” I said when I figured out who it was.

The man standing behind me laughed. “How do you always know?”

“Well this time it would be because you smell like a dying bantha, Jix.” I turned around and gave him a look. “What did you do run through the waste management plant?”

He grinned. “Aw come on, darlin’ you like my manly scent.”

“Uh huh. That’s why I’m wrinkling my nose in disgust and walking away.” I sipped my stimcaf, “Why are you breaking into his home this time?” I asked as I went back into my office.

“He called a meeting, sent his boys to come and remind me.” He said with a shrug. “I like to beat ‘em at their own game.”

“You like to piss off Lord Vader by breaking into his house.” I said. “I don’t know why he keeps you around.”

He smiled. “Could ask the same thing about you, you know, you’re a lousy secretary; you didn’t even offer me a refreshing beverage.”

“That would be because I am not his secretary, I am his personal assistant, not yours and you snuck in uninvited.”

“I didn’t scare you like last time though.” He grinned.

“Last time you didn’t stink so much.” I told him. “And I was in the middle of a shouting match with one of Lord Vader’s droid suppliers.”

“Yeah, right I remember that.” He laughed. “So, will you go tell him I’m here or shall I just sneak into his egg chamber thing room again?”

I shuddered. The last time he had done that Lord Vader had been furious and the fallout had been lengthy and unpleasant. “Wait here and don’t touch anything!” I waggled my finger at him.

He just smirked and planted himself down on the couch near the desk, putting his feet up on the small table. “I’ll just make myself comfy then!”

I sighed as I left for the training room. I didn’t need to comm him to know where he was I could hear it. The door to the training room was open. The sound of the lightsaber’s hum was marred briefly by the sound of broken droid parts crashing to the floor. The combat droids were supposed to be the best in the galaxy but Lord Vader swept through them like a Hutt eating kreetle eggs. He knew I was there, standing just inside the entrance to the training room but he ignored me. Until he acknowledged my presence I kept my mouth shut. I liked watching him at play which amused him to no end. I didn’t mind waiting.

“What is it girl?” he asked after the third droid went down in a hail of glowing metal bits.

“Wrenga Jixton is here to see you.” I told him. “I found him loitering in my kitchen.” I said. “Maybe you could ask him to sneak through the servant’s area next time? Or better yet use the main entrance like everyone else has to?”

There was a moment’s pause while Lord Vader digested this information. He decided to ignore it and said, “Send him in then and get back to your work, I need those figures and the information I requested today not when you feel like it!”

“Yes, my lord.” I nodded and left the room, the scent of molten metal, lightsaber and ozone following me out as I went.

By the time I made it back to my office Jix had helped himself to stimcaf and cookies. He looked perfectly at home. Despite his scruffiness and roughness around the edges, I liked Jix. He had an easy manner that was familiar to me. He was a tall, well built man with very long brown hair which he always kept tied back. He almost always dressed in faded brown utility pants, well worn standard issue boots, a soft hide vest, his riding gloves and a pair of swoop goggles which permanently sat around his neck. Shirts did not seem to be a part of his wardrobe, but the two blasters he carried slung cross-wise low on his hips were. He liked to carry himself off as a tough guy and I was certain he was not someone I wanted as an enemy but there was something more to him than met the eye, a kindness he kept well hidden but I felt it sometimes. He routinely broke into Lord Vader’s home, just because he could and he didn’t seem to be afraid of anything or anyone. He had been instrumental in saving Lord Vader’s life once. He had also struck some sort of a deal which had indentured him to the Dark Lord’s service forever, no questions asked. I liked him but I didn’t need to let him know that.

He looked up at me as I walked into the office. “You make a mean stimcaf, darlin’.”

“Did you eat my lunch as well?” I asked.

He grinned, finishing what was left in his cup. “No, I hate salads, but thanks anyway. When you get some real food maybe I’ll join you for a meal next time.”

“Huh, who said I’d even invite you to lunch, let alone share?”

“Awww I love it when you flirt with me!” He gave me the once up and down. “But I thought you were seeing someone.”

“I am.” I told him. “And it’s none of your business.”

“Too bad, I like red heads!” he gave me a grin. “They’re sassy!”

“Yeah, you and every other man in the Empire!” I snorted. “As much as I’d love to stand here and banter with you all day, Lord Vader will see you now.” I said when he raised his chin a notch.

“Maybe I aught to avail myself of your facilities and pretty myself up first.” he said with a grin.

I gave him a look, “Lord Vader breaths filtered air, he won’t care that you smell like a Hutt.”

“You always say the sweetest things!” He smirked. “Should I go find him myself or are you holding my hand?”

“The nice gentlemen in pretty white suits will lead you.” I said waving the two stormtroopers in who had been waiting to take Jix to see Lord Vader.

“Hey, babysitters, how thoughtful.” He said.

“Play nice!”

“Next time I’ll bring you flowers!” He said with a wink.

“He’s in a mood, so mind your manners!” I called after him as he walked out the office. His answer was a wave and a chuckle.

I shook my head and went back to work. Vader liked having Jix around because he was useful but he didn’t always tolerate Jix’s rudeness. I think it mostly annoyed him that Jix wasn’t scared of him the way almost everyone else was and he also hated the fact that Jix had once saved his life. Lord Vader wasn’t really big on owing anyone anything

I was just about to sit at my desk when the comm buzzed. “Yes?”

“Er Miss Gabriel, erm…Prince Xizor is here to see Lord Vader, what shall we do?” A nervous young man’s voice told me.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. Xizor! He had a scheduled appointment and Jix had been uninvited. Well, I thought, I had already made the trip down the hall once.

“Well for goodness sakes go and tell Lord Vader then, he’s in his large training room.” I snapped at the young man.

“Yes ma’am.” He said and I switched the comm off. I looked at the dirty dishes Jix had left on the small couch table and sighed. How the hell was I supposed to get any work done in this place with all these interruptions? This was why I hated working from Lord Vader’s home.

I got up and went to greet the Prince.

He was waiting in the main foyer with his usual and unnecessarily large entourage. He looked both regal and bored all at the same time.

“Prince Xizor, if you would please follow me.” I said politely.

The Falleen looked at me and gave me a smile that never reached his eyes. “Miss Gabriel, how delightful to see you again.” He spoke casually as I led him and his people to the conference room Lord Vader had requested be used.

There was no conversation as we walked down the hallway to the meeting room. Xizor had long since lost any interest he might have had in baiting me. He was frostily polite and I was happy with that. Thanks to Shiv I knew what his trick was when it came to enticing females into his bed but knowing what it was and being able to fight against the lure of his pheromones were two different things. I wasn’t anxious to test my ability to resist him should he ever wish to try this again.

The Conference room was large, comfortable in a utilitarian sort of way but devoid of decorations. This specially designed room that was so full of surveillance equipment that one could almost here the hum from the circuitry. Xizor was as paranoid as he was powerful so I knew that he would also have some sort of surveillance equipment with him. He and Lord Vader never seemed to tire of playing spy verses spy.

One of the servants had already made certain that refreshments had been laid out but I knew nothing would be touched. Lord Vader did not drink or eat in public and the prince would be worried about poison. However, this game that was being played also consisted of who could out polite who. The Emperor prized courtesy and there had been repercussions in the past for Lord Vader when he had been especially rude to the Prince.

“Please, your highness, make your self comfortable. Lord Vader will be with you shortly.” I said.

That irked Xizor, who did not like to be kept waiting. “I have a busy schedule, Miss Gabriel. I do not have time to waste.”

I gave him one of my best smiles. “Yes, your Highness.” And with that I left him to sit and work out where all the hidden spy equipment was.

I wondered how anyone could go through life the way the Falleen prince did. Always scheming and plotting. He was ruthless and calculating, not to mention ugly. All my force senses told me he was dangerous in every way possible. I hated being in the same room with him. He made my skin crawl.

His business with Lord Vader, on the surface was nothing more than standard negotiations about ships and equipment but really he was after something bigger; Lord Vader suspected that he was after Luke Skywalker. If that was the case it would not have surprised me, although how the Prince knew that Luke was Vader’s son was a bit of a mystery. I didn’t think it was a coincidence that both Jix and then Xizor showed up on the same day within thirty minutes of each other.

I went back to work and salvaged what was left of my day. By the end of it I had accomplished most of the tasks I was supposed to, resorted out Lord Vader’s schedule for the sixth time, dealt with the droid dealers and given him the results he wished for.

He read the data when I handed it to him and nodded. “This will suffice.” He said, then changing subjects asked, “I suppose you will be attending the reception after the dedication ceremony with Admiral Thrawn?

I shook my head. “No, I decided in the interest of not being gossip fodder I’d go on my own. Why, do you need a date?” I asked cheerfully, knowing this would probably annoy him more than amuse him.

He turned around and I could feel the glare from behind the mask. “I take it you are actually avoiding Zaarin’s attentions as well as the media?”

“Zaarin is a pompous idiot who doesn’t get the hint!” I retorted. Zaarin had become a touchy subject and he liked to push that particular button. It amused him, although I had no idea why.

“In some respects yes, he is. However he has expressed great interest in you, perhaps I should order you to attend with him anyway. You can find out what has been on his mind. His reports from his various projects have been somewhat thin as of late.”

I sighed. “You could but it wouldn’t accomplish much. Zaarin’s mind is very strong and I can’t read much from him. If he is lying about his work, I never pick it up.”

“Interesting how that works. I would have thought, if you put your will to it you could entice information out of him.”

I glared at him and for a moment we just stared at each other, although really it was like staring at a mirror because all I saw in his mask was my reflection. I looked away first.

“If you actually forced me to do this you’d have to find another personal assistant because I’d rather jump in the Great Pit of Carkoon than be intimate with that man.”

He chuckled. “I believe you would at that.” He said. “However, that might be amusing to watch.”

I shook my head; there was no suitable retort to this statement. “I could accompany you and quietly try to read him while you talk with him.” I suggested.

“Yes, perhaps, although I will only plan on attending the actual dedication ceremony. I will not be attending the function afterwards, unless my Master demands it. I have better things to do with my time.” He said. “Still, you will have plenty of opportunities at the reception to read him and perhaps after a few glasses of the Emperor’s champagne he will be more open to suggestion.”

“Perhaps.” I said. “I will see what I can do, but I am not playing doxy for you, he has enough courtesans who like to bed with him, I won’t be one more.”

He chuckled and then said, “A driver will pick you up promptly at eighteen-thirty hundred hours. Be ready. I will not be kept waiting.”

“As you wish, my lord.”

“You may leave now.” He flapped his hand at me in that all too familiar dismissive gesture and turned his back to me once more.

“Yes, my lord.” And before he could change his mind or say anything else I swirled around and left to go home.

In the City that never sleeps 7

2007-02-25T11:21:00.000+01:00

I was instantly awake. It was that weird state of hyper awareness that comes when you wake up cold in the middle of the night knowing something isn’t right. My hand snaked under my pillow and curled around the lightsaber I been keeping there. I lay as still as I could and listened. I could hear nothing, but I knew that someone was in the flat; I felt a presence as sure as I felt the weapon I was clutching. I fought to slow my racing heart and opened myself up to the force which flowed around me like sand across the ground in a storm. I searched the flat with my mind and when I found the reason I had woken up I let out a silent sigh of relief.

Thrawn moved through his own home as though he were the intruder not the owner. He walked so quietly I would have had no idea where he was if I could not sense him through the force. When he reached the bedroom I was no longer holding my lightsaber.

“You can turn on the light, I’m not asleep.” I said as he walked silently across the wooden floor. He had taken his shoes off, it made me smile. He didn’t turn the bedroom light on, instead he switched on the one in the bathroom so that it illuminated the bedroom just enough for him not to bang into the bed the way I always did but not enough to make me squint. He didn’t actually need to turn any lights on, so I was pretty sure this was for my benefit.

“I didn’t want to wake you.” He told me as he came to the edge of the bed and undressed.

I looked up at him; he had his back to me. “That happened the moment you entered the flat.”

“I should have known, I suppose.” He said. “You really are quite scary, you know.” He teased but he sounded tired. The light from the bathroom was soft, illuminating the outline his body as he stripped off his clothes. I longed to reach out and touch him but the sharp state of being awake had shifted back into a warm doziness and I couldn’t be bothered to move. I yawned.

He got up, went to the bathroom, closed the door and the room was plunged back into the usual darkness. I rolled back over onto my side and curled around the bantha toy. I heard Thrawn come out of the bathroom, but he had turned off the light before he opened the door. I felt him pull aside the covers and get into bed. He spooned himself around me, my back to his front, his arm curled around my waist, stopping when his hand touched synthetic fur.

“Is there something you want to tell me, sj’iu tekari?” he murmured in my ear.

“That’s Runi’.” I answered. “Shiv and the gang’s birthday gift to me.” I said. I rolled over onto my back making him do the same. I pulled Runi’ out from under the sheets and dumped him on Thrawn’s chest. He gave a little laugh as he took the toy and looked at him.

“A very accurate likeness of a Bantha.” He said, appreciatively.

“It’s too dark to see him that clearly.”

I felt him look at me and I felt his eyebrow go up. “My dear, I keep telling you, Chiss have excellent night vision.”

I stuck my tongue out at him and he chuckled. “I saw that as well.” He said. “I take it he was my substitute while I was gone?” He added.

“I wasn’t sleeping well.” I told him by way of answer, settling down again. He was quiet for a long moment, staring at the Bantha balanced on his chest.

“As in nightmares or as in working too much or maybe just staying up far too late with Shiv watching too much HoloNet?”

“Nightmares.”

“This has to do with what happened after Bespin?” He asked. “I sensed there was something you were not telling me in your last letter.”

I nodded. “It was bad.” I said.

He shifted a little to look at me. He patted the bantha on his chest. “Can I put your little friend here on the floor?” He asked. “Or will he be offended?”

“Banthas generally don’t like being cooped up, so he’ll probably be happier on the floor.” I said as I shifted so that one leg slung across his hips and my arm across his chest. I rested my head in the hollow his shoulder made for me, feeling him move as he put Runi’ down beside the bed. Then he wrapped the arms around me. I breathed him in deeply, hardly believing that he was here. He smelled like spice and soap. He ran his fingers through my hair.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“The Emperor found out about my talent for reading objects.” I said bluntly and quickly, as though saying fast would make it go away.

He let out a slow breath. A ripple of anger flashed through him and I could feel it when he clenched his jaw. “What did he use to test you?” There was a strange tightness in his voice.

“Something terrible and if it’s okay with you I’d rather not talk about it in the dark.”

He pulled me closer to him as if that could protect me from what had already happened. “When you are ready, I will listen.”

“I am so glad you are back.” I told him looking up at him.

“I know you are.” He answered quietly. Something in his voice made me look up at him. I could see his eyes, a soft red glow in the dimly lit bedroom. He kissed me on the forehead in that wonderful manner he had which said, you are mine, I am here so you are safe, and I am quite tired so can we please just go to sleep now? I just closed my eyes and for the first time since returning from Wayland I slept the rest of the whole night through.

I woke up late, sunlight streamed into the bedroom, dancing through the gauzy white curtains which shifted in the little breeze coming through the open window. I was alone in the bed except for the stuffed bantha which occupied the side of the bed Thrawn slept on. It made me smile. I got up, slipped on a robe and made my way to the kitchen where I was handed a cup of creamy stimcaf with a smile that made my heart speed up more than the stimcaf ever could.

“You were so fast asleep that I didn’t want to wake you.” He said by way of explanation. He was already showered and dressed.

“Thank-you.”

“No nightmares?” He asked, pushing a plate of warm, buttered scones in my direction.

I sipped the hot stimcaf gratefully. “No nightmares.” I confirmed.

He simply nodded and went back to his own drink, reading the latest news flimsy that had been delivered.

“I see Xizor has dumped his latest girlfriend.” He commented.

The corner of my mouth curled up in a smile. “Are you reading the gossip column?”

“No, it made the headlines.” He snorted with distaste. “She is, apparently, devastated.”

“Oh.” I knelt up on the kitchen stool and leaned on the counter to read the flimsy with him.

“Oooh, Lord Vader’s offensive at Vergesso Prime was successful.” I commented, reading the headline ‘Imperials Win Again!’ “Of course you know that he went out here on a tip from the Prince. He’ll be so cross that Xizor was right.”

“Well, I would wait until Lord Vader returns and tells you what really happened before I’d believe what was written here.”

“And maybe he’ll tell me about Harkov as well!” I said. “The Admiral was executed wasn’t he? The reports don’t say much, it’s all very hush hush.”

“A very bad business that.” Thrawn commented with a nod. “Do you recall that young pilot I wrote you about?”

“Stele?” I nodded.

“Well apparently he, along with a couple of others, had a lot to do with helping in that capture. They managed to get Harkov but the fleet he commanded is still out there, presumably acting on Harkov’s behalf, and has also turned rebel.” He said. “Vader deal with Harkov personally, so you know the end result there.”

I just looked at him. “A whole fleet defected? That wasn’t in any of the reports I read. I am surprised that even after three weeks nothing has really been mentioned, it’s even fairly quiet over all the official channels.”

“Of course it is, my dear. It is bad enough that an admiral of the Imperial navy turned traitor but an entire fleet? Well, you can imagine if news of that got out.”

“This rebel thing is getting out of hand.” I said flatly.

Thrawn nodded. “Indeed.” He said. “More ‘caf?” He asked and then went back to reading the morning’s news. Something caught my eye and without thinking I pulled the flimsy to my side of the counter. This earned me a raised eyebrow and an annoyed look.

“Oh my!” I exclaimed.

“What is it?” Asked Thrawn.

“Agaddi ren’Nor is dead.” I said as I quickly read through the short obituary.

“Who is that?”

“He was one of the Emperor’s best horticulturalists; he recently went to work for Prince Xizor. It says here that before he could even start his new job he was found dead. Apparently some freak accident with a lift. There’s an investigation but they don’t suspect foul play. How sad, I kind of liked him.” I handed the flimsy back to Thrawn who skimmed the small text quickly.

Thrawn shook his head and snorted. “No foul play indeed. The Emperor does not like to give up his best people, especially to someone like Prince Xizor.”

“You don’t think it was an accident?”

He just arched an eyebrow at me. “No.” he replied.

“Speaking of accidents, did you hear about the attack on Xizor?”

He shook his head.

“Happened a little while ago now, some moon-brain managed to get past all Palace security and attacked the Prince after he had a meeting there. Wanted revenge, blamed Xizor for the death of his family or some such thing. Now you have to wear your ID tags visible at all times, no exceptions. Security keeps arresting people for no ID tags. It’s very silly.”

“How did this assailant avoid security in the first place?”

I gave Thrawn a look. “How do you think?”

Thrawn shook his head in disgust. “It doesn’t become Vader to play these stupid, bickering games, you know.”

I just shrugged. “I think he just gets bored sometimes.”

That remark earned me a smile. “They mention the public ceremony for the new wing dedication tonight; they expect a lot of people to come.” He said. “Did you get a new dress for the reception afterwards?” He remarked, switching topics deftly.

“I did.” I said with a grin.

“Has Cati performed her usual magic?”

“She has.”

“Do I get to see it?”

“Only if you’re planning on attending.” I told him coyly.

“I’d say that chances are good I will be there.” He replied as he refilled my stimcaf. For a moment our eyes met and that world shattering sensation flashed through me like a seismic charge. I swallowed, bit my lip, blushed and looked away. He smirked.

I sipped my drink. “I told Zaarin I was attending alone when he asked if I would be his date a couple of days ago. He figured that since you were not around I would be easy prey.”

Thrawn’s eyebrow shot up. “Oh?” he said. “I imagine he did not enjoy being told ‘no’ yet again. He’s quite persistent with you, I’ll give him that. Most men would have walked away by now.”

“He’s not persistent, he’s just stupid. Most men would have taken the hint by now.” I scowled. “He’s an arrogant Imperial male who thinks he can have what he wants at the snap of his fingers. ‘Getting me’ has become a personal mission, I think. He won’t win; he’s just too stubborn to figure that out!” I made a face. “I told him I was tired of being gossip fodder by way of an excuse, he said if that were really the case I should probably not be shacking up with you.”

Thrawn had to work hard not to spray the mouthful of stimcaf he had just taken all over the counter. “He actually said that?”

“Yes, he actually said that.” I confirmed.

“I am all ears as to your response, my dear.”

My shrug was nonchalant. “I just smiled at him and told him he shouldn’t believe the all the gossip.”

“Really?” He did that annoying eyebrow thing. “I see some of my lessons on diplomacy are rubbing off on you.”

“More like I can’t be bothered to deal with him, it’s tedious and besides, he tried to kill me. If he wanted me to go out on a date with him he should have thought about that before he tried to poison me and blow you up.” I said crossly. “Smiling at him confuses him.” I added. “One of these days I shall be smiling when I throttle him with my bare hands. Which I could do quite easily, you know!” I made wringing motions with my hands to make my point.

He shook his head in mock despair. “I can see that some of Vader’s tactics have also rubbed off on you.”

“Hardly! I don’t go around force choking everyone who pisses me off.”

He smiled. “No, you shower us unsuspecting males with enough desire to drown an entire battalion.”

Our eyes locked a second time and another seismic charge exploded in my belly. “Neither you nor he can complain if I am being polite.” I said. “Frosty smiles are about as nice as I get these days. I’ve run out of patience and I’m all out of nice. It doesn’t get me anywhere anyway. I could still do him in though.”

“I would much rather you were frosty and polite to him than you took matters into your own hands and eliminated him.” He said with a hint of reproach. “Removing him from the galaxy is not your job and I doubt it would make the Emperor very happy if you were to attempt it.”

“Puh! You don’t let me have any fun!” I told him, taking a scone to munch on. “And the Emperor is….”

“…never happy, I know.” He finished for me. “Speaking of fun, I take it your wish to attend this thing solo means that I cannot ask you to be my date for the event?” He was teasing.

“You can ask, but you’d get the same answer Zaarin did.” I said with a shrug. “In light of self interest and self preservation I think it’s best that I go unattached or shadow Lord Vader if he will be there. He got back to the core a day ago but he’s been pretty busy with meetings with the Emperor so I have not really seen a whole lot of him. You are supposed to be in disgrace. I am supposed to be trying to keep a low profile. Besides, I am getting tired of having my face splashed on the Daily Digest flimsies and the HoloNet entertainment nightly shows just because the gossip mongers have nothing better to write about. ”

He laughed. “So you mean you actually plan behaving at this event?”

I made a face. “I always behave.” I told him crossly. “I can’t help it that trouble finds me.”

I glared at him when his eyebrow shot up. “I seem to recall the last time you attended an official function it ended rather disastrously.” He remarked tartly. “And that particular trouble was self inflicted.”

“You will never let me forget about that, will you?”

“You are very funny when you are inebriated.” He said with a little grin. “I really wonder if it is at all safe to let you loose without a chaperone.”

“You know, just because I don’t feel the need to fuel the fires that already circulate around you, me and our odd little relationship doesn’t mean I won’t behave myself at this stupid event. Last time, as I recall, it was because I got pecked at by the powers that be I ended up going off the deep end. If I hadn’t been drinking I would have hurt someone.” I told him hotly, all the while watching him try very hard not to laugh. “Anyway, you don’t have to worry; Shiv has taken it upon himself to act as the big-brother watch dog this time around. He was pretty ticked at me for getting so drunk at the last event and he blames you. He wasn’t happy about your inability to keep an eye on me. I told him it was hardly your fault, after all, it’s not as if anyone actually instructed you to baby-sit me, you didn’t force feed me the bubbly and I could have and should have just gone home. Ugh, I don’t want to even think about fizzy champagne let alone drink any.” I shuddered.

Thrawn laughed and caressed the side of my face with a brush of his fingers. “Why is Shiv even complaining? He wasn’t the one picking up the pieces the day after, I was.”

I sighed. “I can move back to the palace, you know!”

He just continued to smile. “That is an empty threat, you like my bed too much and I like having you in it.” He said. “But if you must have an answer to the unasked question behind that statement, I think I’d prefer you stay here where I can keep an eye on you.” He punctuated this statement with a light kiss on the top of my head.

I didn’t know how to reply to that so I just nodded and sipped my drink. The silence between us was so utterly comfortable that I didn’t want to break it.

“I noticed your speeder isn’t here. Do you want a ride to work?” He asked after he had finished reading and drained his cup.

“Sure.”

“Then I suggest you get yourself ready, my dear, I have to leave soon. I have meetings all day and I probably should not be late.”

It occurred to me, while I showered, that this must be what having a normal life felt like, that billions of beings all around the galaxy lived this way, every single day. It was magical. As I dressed for work, I felt a touch of regret that it couldn’t stay this way forever.

In the City that never sleeps 6

2007-02-22T08:16:00.000+01:00

I loved B’schu’le’s and so it seemed did the rest of Coruscant. The restaurant was very crowded when we walked in and I was thankful that Shiv had thought ahead to reserve us a table.

I ordered a big salad and a noodle dish. When he ordered wine with the meal I knew we weren’t going back to work afterwards which was okay by me. Now I understood why we had taken a taxi to Cati’s instead of his air-speeder.

“Are you going to talk about what’s been bothering you?” he asked as I stabbed my fork through leafy salad.

I glanced up at him, “I told you the last time you asked. I don’t sleep very well.”

He looked at me for a moment. “The palace doc could fix you up with something that would help with that.”

“I’m not going to start taking sleeping aides, it will pass. It’s just bad dreams and I get them sometimes.”

“See, I’d normally believe you but you’ve had this scary death warmed over thing going ever since you got back after Hoth and it reminds me a lot of how you looked after Jyrki, well you know… kidnapped you.”

I made a face. “I had bad dreams then too.” I said with a mouthful of salad. “It will pass; you need to trust me on that.”

For a moment I saw him hesitate, the decision of whether or not to push me wavered across his face. He was worried. “It’s not like you to lie to me.” He said a bit sadly. He had decided to push.

“I’m not lying. I don’t sleep well, I wake up with really terrible nightmares most of which I don’t remember and I can’t get back to sleep afterwards. It’s not like I have the luxury of being able to nap in the afternoon, you know.” I frowned. “Do you really want the absolute truth?”

He nodded.

“I hate sleeping alone when I am on this planet.”

That made him smile and for the first time all afternoon he actually seemed to relax. “I knew there had to be another reason.” He grinned. “You’re pining for the man you love.”

I sighed. “See, this is exactly why I don’t tell you things!” I said crossly, mutilating the last bits of defenceless salad on my plate so loudly that people sitting one table over looked at me. I glared right back at them and they returned their attention to their own plates so fast I thought they might get whiplash. “I am not pining!”

He just shrugged. “Whatever.” He leaned over to reach the shopping bag; a glossy red dura-paper thing with little string handles and shoved it over to me. “I thought that you might want some company in bed, seeing as how you get lonely….” He let his sentence trail off with a knowing wink.

I sighed and shook my head. “Honestly Shiv, you’re as bad as the gossip girls from HR.”

The waitress came and cleared away our empty salad plates and replaced them with the main course. Shiv had some sort of thinly sliced reddish meat, rizzoles, and vegetables all drizzled with a creamy looking sauce. It smelled wonderful. My pasta was covered with a chunky sauce made from a red fruit and was heavily spiced, just the way I liked it. While the waitress hovered around us, refilling our glasses and smiling, I held my tongue. As soon as she left I pulled the bag to me and peeked inside. Underneath a layer of delicate tissue was the largest stuffed toy bantha I had ever seen. Despite the fact that we were sitting in a good restaurant I hauled him out of the bag with a squeal of delight. He was perfect, with soft, long shaggy fur and horns made from some sort of roughed up leather. The detailing on him was astonishing, even his glittery eyes seemed real.

“I am way too old for cuddle toys Shiv, but he’s gorgeous…where did you find a bantha toy on this planet?” I said as I slipped him back in the bag and grinned.

Shiv beamed. “We special ordered him from Ji-Ji’s, really he’s for your birthday, I mean, birthdays. He’s from me , Ynyth, Bobbyn, Maxxi and Cati and I wasn’t supposed to give him to you until your other birthday but goodness knows if you’ll be here for that and I figured you could use the company at night. I got the call this morning that he was done, so it seemed like the right time all around.”

I shook my head. I didn’t know what to say. I had never really talked to Shiv about my love affair with Banthas yet somehow he had known. My guess was that maybe Thrawn had given something of that away but I was pretty sure no one would admit to anything.

“Eat your lunch before it gets cold.” He waved his fork at me. “I have to tell Cati that I saw you finish a meal with my own two eyes.”

I did as he asked, not because I had to but because I really was, for the first time in ages, very hungry. Like most things, my bouts of anxiety and sleeplessness came and went. The regular routine of being back on a planet again helped a lot. That Lord Vader was more often away than on Coruscant helped even more. The best of all was that the Emperor had not been around much either. Slowly the nightmare I had lived through on Wayland was receding, relegated to the same strange part of my life that Jyrki’s treatment had been and I tried not to think about the moral implications of working for the Empire. My on going training sessions with Master Kjestyll were helping to re-ground me and for a while I could forget about the Force and all of its sides, light dark and in between.

“What are you doing after this?” I asked him.

“I am coming back to your place and we are going to watch some of the latest season of Smuggler’s Run, which I happen to know you just picked up and then I am going home and you will get a decent night’s sleep.” He said, “Unless you have a lesson or something?”

I shook my head. “Nope no lessons tonight, so we’ll go with your plan.” I agreed and went back to finishing my pasta. By the time we had done with the main meal we decided to get desert to go because while B’schu’le’s made the best cakes in the galaxy, their ‘caf was awful.

Smuggler’s Run was a brilliant drama about a band of rag-tag nobodies, in a galaxy very far away but amazingly similar to ours. It was a funny, campy show with a great cast of characters. The brilliant but broken captain who is trying to get away from his past, the crazy alien mechanic who could fix anything, twin brothers who were mercenaries and finished each other sentences, the weapons expert who just happens to be a hot chick and the stowaway kid, who everyone except the mechanic thought was a guy but who was really a girl. They lived by their wits on their ship which loosely resembled an old Corellian tub and was always falling apart. They usually ended up helping people instead of actually doing anything terribly illegal. It was hilarious but also sometimes sad and touching.

We ate our delicious deserts, sipped excellent spiced coffee and then topped it all off with a glass of Thrawn’s thirty year old Corellian brandy. I was stuffed and my sides hurt from laughing so much.

Once we had eaten I had hauled the large bantha toy out of the bag and slouching on the couch with my feet on the coffee table I had it balanced on my lap, face to face. He was the cutest thing I ever saw next to a real bantha baby. He had been made to perfection and I had fallen in love with him.

Shiv poked me in the ribs. “How can you see the screen?” He asked.

“I see fine over his head!”

“His?”

I looked up at Shiv and nodded. “Yeah, he’s a he.”

“How can you tell?”

“The shape and thickness of the horns.” I said tracing my finger around the loop of the sueded leather. “Females horns never grow to more than one circle and the ridges aren’t as pronounced. I love banthas.”

Shiv grinned. “I know.”

“Who told you that, because I’m sure it wasn’t me?”

“I am sworn to secrecy.” He said. I opened my mouth to say more but he waggled a finger at me. “Shut up, not another word, just watch the show!”

I smirked at settled back down, cuddling the huge stuffed toy, watching the ‘net with one of my very best friends.

“What are you going to call him?” Shiv asked after five minutes of silence.

“I’ll have to think about it. Naming a bantha is a big deal.”

“Will you tell me what you name him then?”

“I promise, now will you shut up?”

He laughed and grabbed the remote to backtrack so we could catch up on what we missed.

It was late when he left and despite his advice of letting the dishes sit until the morning I just couldn’t. Thrawn did not like clutter and chaos in the house and some of that had rubbed off on me, besides I couldn’t stand the sight of dirty dishes when I first got up and ever worse was a messy kitchen, I was never awake enough to deal with that first thing. Once everything was tidy I took my bantha toy and went to bed. I hadn’t slept with a stuffed cuddle toy in bed since I was a very small child. I sighed when I slipped under the beautiful linen sheets, wearing one of Thrawn’s pyjama tops and wrapped my arm around the bantha to snuggle it. A small piece of furry comfort in the darkness the night had become. Unfortunately its presence didn’t stop the nightmares but it was something to grip on to when I felt as though I were drowning.

The nightmares had become indefinable night terrors involving faceless attackers and endless chases through never ending labyrinths which usually ended up with me falling into the molten lava on the planet the Emperor had called Mustafar. It was not a particularly great way to wake up. Going back to sleep after such a nightmare was usually impossible so I would get up, make myself tea and use the portable computer terminal to get some work done. This way I could sit in the living room and have the HoloNet on in the background. While I was wading through the latest barrage of inter-office mail the late night programme that was currently on was interrupted.

The news anchor was shaken as he read out the latest report of fighting between the Empire and the Rebels. While these kinds of reports were not really new the disclosure that someone from the Imperial side had defected to the rebels was. The news programme did not have a name and details were sketchy at best which was typical.

With my portable computer terminal, I quickly logged into the palace network and began to scan through the internal imperial bulletin boards that I had access to via Lord Vader. The traitor was Admiral Harkov. It shouldn’t have surprised me, but it did and I could not help wondering how many more so called loyal Imperials were not exactly as they seemed.