BEST Life Coaching

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real

2013-08-25T00:45:00.000-07:00

Can I share a little story with you? A story about False Evidence Appearing Real (aka FEAR)?

About a year ago, I was approaching the end of my executive life coach training program, and I hit a major wall. I was facing my biggest fear. I was basically out of money, and I had no idea where I was going to get more.

I couldn't "get clients", I couldn't find work, I was terrified I would need to quit everything, get a divorce and go live on welfare. I kept saying to myself, "even though you've always survived throughout your life, this is it! This time you won't make it."

Fast forward 15 months, and you know what, I'm still here. I'm not rolling in money, but I'm still here. I'm still going. Finding money to keep me and my family going. My friends, my wife, the Universe, have all provided.

It has all worked out.

I'm not so afraid any more.

“Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.”
General George S. Patton

FORGET BEING REALISTIC - SHOOT FOR YOUR DREAMS!!!!!

2013-08-15T00:20:00.002-07:00

As a coach I tell the people I meet that they can do ANYTHING they set their mind to. Anything. How they will actually do it may be different than they imagine, but regardless, a person can do literally anything... given enough persistence, action, and belief.

I've encountered coaches and counselors who have said, "oh you have to be realistic, I don't want to tell kids that they can do anything because they'll get these silly ideas in their head... they've gotta be realistic".

If they're open to it, I share what I believe is a more supportive stand. I say, "it's not up to you to tell somebody else what they can or cannot do. If you can't support someone's dream, get out of their way or help them find someone who will. Your own limitations don't need to become the limitations of another."

We prove it over and over again that we can do anything!!!

That's my rant -- I'm so inspired by guys like this -- the human spirit is indomitable!

The Preciousness of Anger

2013-07-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

The Preciousness of Anger

The words precious and anger don't often go together. At least for humans. With humans, there is always a layer of judgement applied to our behavior. No matter what we do, often we judge ourselves for the behavior.

But when we think of our beloved pets, there isn't a heck of a lot that they can do wrong. A dog stuffs his head in your crotch and all we do is laugh. Silly dog!

We giggle as our pal runs circles around us, as he spins in a vain attempt to grab his tail, or as he attempts to drag a 500 pound "stick" from the sea.

It's pretty hard to hold a grudge against our pets. It's pretty difficult to judge them. After all, they're just animals!

What if we were treat ourselves with the same love and forgiveness as our pets? What if, no matter what we did with our lives, no matter what anyone else said about us, we considered ourselves to be our favorite and most beloved pet?

Would it matter if we did something silly? Would we get on our own case for saying that thing to that person? Could we possibly laugh and giggle at our own ineptitude?

And when we got angry, could we see the preciousness of it? Just as we see the preciousness in our pets?

What would that be like?

Try being your own beloved pet today and report back! What did you discover?

(Video courtesy Evelyn M at localhomespot.com )

5 Tips for Teaching English as a Foreign Language

2013-06-11T22:05:00.000-07:00

5 Tips for Teaching English as a Foreign Language

I am so grateful you are here, reading this article. Because you're here, I know you care about your students, and for that I completely acknowledge you!

Whether you're just beginning your career teaching English as a foreign language, or you're a seasoned veteran, if you care about delivering great classes, I imagine you are always looking for ways to improve your teaching and your lessons. Here are 5 tips for teaching English as a foreign language that will help both new and seasoned teachers create awesome learning environments!!

5. Build Rapport

Rapport is created when people feel that they relate well with each other; in other words they are on the same wavelength. The get each other and there is mutual trust and confidence. The foundation to a teacher-student relationship is rapport. There must be trust and confidence between the teacher and student before any significant and effective learning can take place.

Think to your own past. Who is the best teacher you ever had? What was it about them that made them such a great teacher? I bet they knew what they were talking about, so you had confidence in them, but more importantly you felt you could trust them. They were on your side, they wanted you to win. So you trusted them. You let them into your head. You were willing to accept their teaching. You listened to them, and you did what they asked you to do.

I believe there are 3 keys to building rapport:

Drop the walls: be vulnerable; allow yourself to be human and make mistakes; be authentic.
Seek to partner: don't act like you know more than your students; instead, assume that your students are geniuses and just need to be guided to the skills and knowledge they are lacking; be of support.
Be committed to their success: be your student's biggest fan, and help them see that they are great; learning something new can be scary, but if you demonstrate your commitment to their success, they're more likely to accept your support.

4. Use Humour and Compassion

Connected with building rapport is the use of humour and compassion. When you are able to laugh at yourself and help the student to see the humour in situations, they will relax and be open to learning. And when you have compassion for the struggles they are facing in learning, they are more likely to trust you and be receptive.

Humour, and any strong emotion for that matter, are really effective ways to promote retention. According to the American Psychological Association, " a growing body of research suggests that, when used effectively, classroom comedy can improve student performance by reducing anxiety, boosting participation and increasing students' motivation to focus on the material. Moreover, the benefits might not be limited to students: Research suggests that students rate professors who make learning fun significantly higher than others." (http://www.apa.org/monitor/jun06/learning.aspx)

Being humourous doesn't necessarily mean doing stand-up comedy routines all class.

Rather, consider the irony and humour of what you're teaching. For example, getting sick of teaching grammar and you can see that the students are too? Make fun of the situation -- "Woh, could this get any more boring?" Or perhaps break up the lesson with a funny story or activity. I recently used this posting on Tastefully Offensive to bring some lightness to my lesson (http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/post/51255989467/9-cats-stuck-in-things-jonnovstheinternet#.Ubf0gZzV3cQ). It was both a fun and really effective way to expand my students' vocabulary and challenge their abilities to express ideas.

3. Create Choices

Sometimes when we're in the role of "teacher", we think we have to lead and control the lesson. We tell ourselves that we're the one who is responsible for delivering the lesson and "making them" learn new things. Maybe this is true in some learning environments, but when teaching adults ESL, it's a good idea to remember that they are totally capable of managing their own learning process.

Adults have a much better idea of what they like, what they don't like, of what is effective for them and what is ineffective for them. Adults also have busy lives, moods and varying interests. So rather than fight against this, it can work well to provide them with choices.

How does this work in a lesson? With higher-level learners, I find it effective to ask right at the beginning of a lesson what they want to get out of their lesson. We as teachers know that the students are going to want to work on one of four general areas (reading, writing, speaking and listening), but we don't know what is currently relevant in the learner's life. Give them a chance to get their needs met before deciding what you're going to "make them" learn.

If you want to design lessons for your students, add choice points. For example, if you're going to work through a reading, perhaps select 3 reading passages, and let the student choose which one they'd like work on.

2. Engage Senses!

Sometimes when teaching English, we fall into the habit of just teaching speaking, reading, writing and listening. We focus on the cognitive part of learning, and we forget that the student has five senses. And they also have emotions, opinions, passions, and physical needs. So why not incorporate materials into lessons that allow these different aspects of people to be expressed and utilized?

How about using interesting and colorful images and videos during your lessons, and then asking the students what they see and feel as a result? If you're meeting in person (or can find a creative alternative), bring objects for the student to touch and manipulate. And perhaps ask questions that get the student into their body. What do you feel? Where do you feel it? What's the body sensation?

By incorporating more senses in the lesson, the learner is able to build many links within their brains and therefore more solidly understand a topic.

1. Be Passionate!

I will always remember my first martial arts instructor. His English was horrible. He was pretty bad at explaining movements and their purpose. And he was kind of a jerk at times. But there was one thing about him that was so damned contagious, so inspiring, that I couldn't help but be drawn to his lessons. He was SO PASSIONATE!

He was passionate about martial arts, about Chinese culture, about healing and meditation, and most importantly I could FEEL that he absolutely cared about me learning what he was teaching.

Even if his poor explanations annoyed me, I still kept trying because I could feel his energy and drive lifting me up, motivating me, propelling me forward, and inspiring me to do better and better!

There are always ways to bring passion into what you're teaching. You can find topics that you're really interested in, you can dig for perspectives and ideas within your students that motivate you, and you can design activities that light you up!

I love speaking about and learning about purpose, meaning and inspirational topics, so often the materials I choose will inspire me, or I will incorporate conversations about purpose and meaning into discussion topics and readings.

Conclusion

With these 5 tips for teaching English as a foreign language, your lessons will certainly become more effective and more enjoyable for both you and your students. But don't take my word for it -- go out and try them out for yourself, and report back with your discoveries! Thank you for being such an amazing teacher!

5 Reasons You Should Learn English Today

2013-05-30T22:16:00.000-07:00

5 Reasons You Should Learn English Today

Your life is already great as it is. You have a job, you have friends and a family, and you have everything you need in your own country. English isn't easy to learn. English grammar is confusing, there are so many words, there are so many accents, and for sure it's going to take time and effort to learn English. So why bother learning English at all? Here are 5 reasons you should learn English today!

5. Improved Global Communication

Global communication means being able to effectively read, write, listen and speak using the English language with people around the world. When you know English, you can communicate with the majority of people in the world. English is becoming the dominant intermediary language that peoples from all over the world use to communicate with each other. One source estimates that over 80% of information found on the Internet is written in English (Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4684923).

Not being able to communicate in English creates a huge barrier to success in all areas of a person's life. However, when you know English, you can access the knowledge of the world in text, video and audio. Sir Francis Bacon said, "Knowledge is power." Further, knowledge creates possibility. And, with effective English communication skills you can share your unique ideas and perspectives with the world. You can be heard but a much larger audience.

4. Better Career Opportunities

Great English opens doors to great jobs and is the vehicle to business opportunities. English fluency can be directly related to financial reward. One study (http://www.voxeu.org/article/it-pays-speak-english) in India discovered that the hourly wages of men increased by 34% when they became fluent in English.

The types of jobs available to fluent English speakers is much more broad than for those who cannot communicate in English. Because most companies want or need to do business with English speaking countries, staff who are able to speak English are a huge asset. And in North America, great English skills immediately creates opportunities regardless of your ethnicity.

Consider also the vast opportunities to do business abroad that become available with fluent English. For example, small and large businesses around the world need web developers. A talented web developer with English fluency would no longer be dependent upon local economic conditions for business success because a world full of clients would become available. Check out www.odesk.com to see current freelance opportunities that can be done from anywhere in the world.

3. A Better Life

Improved English enables a better life for the individual who speak English as well as their family and children.

Odds are your children learning English in school -- how much more would you be able to help your children if you spoke great English? How amazing would it be to communicate with your kids and share in their new experiences that they have because of English?

With fluent English, a whole world becomes available. You can travel to new places and never worry about not being able to find your way. From ordering food to going out and enjoying sights, great English translates to an amazing travel experience!

The key benefit of having great job opportunities is a better life. More money, a more satisfying work life, and more career flexibility will all result in more contentment and fulfillment, more stimulation and more life!

2. Broader Perspectives and Better Integration

When you speak only one language, your perspective of the world, what you can know and experience, is limited. People who only have one language can also become isolated and insular.

When you know English you can see the world through the eyes of other cultures. Speaking English means more than just knowing words, it means understanding new ideas and points of view. So much is lost in translation. And you need to rely on others to do the translating and interpreting for you.

Being able to understand English has an immediate benefit -- when you want to understand world news, English fluency would enable you to read newspapers from around the world -- you would no longer be subject to the bias of your own country's media.

Having access to different ideas and opinions expands your consciousness. And the realm of possibility grows beyond what you could possibly imagine. Your understanding of the world and yourself will increase with leaps and bounds.

1. Freedom

All of these benefits can be summarized in one word: Freedom! With fluent English, you have a key to most of the doors in the world. You can go anywhere and do anything. You will become limitless.

And it's not just because you can speak a second language -- your mind changes when you learn a second language. Cognitive function has been demonstrated to improve when someone learns a new language. People have also been shown to be more creative, have increased mental flexibility and be better problem solvers. (Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4684923)

If you want to travel or study abroad, you can. If you want to apply for a better job, you can. If you want to learn more about another country or culture that doesn't speak your language, you can. And if you want to watch movies and TV, you can, without dubbing and subtitles!

With English fluency, you will be free. You will be limitless!

5 Reasons to Learn English today are Improved Global Communication, Better Career Opportunities, A Better Life, Broader Perspectives and Better Integration, and Freedom. There are so many more reasons to learn English today -- what are you waiting for?

10 Key Dimensions of Culture

2013-05-28T22:41:00.000-07:00

10 Key Dimensions of Culture

Also posted at http://www.overcomethebarrier.com/2013/05/29/10-key-dimensions-of-culture/

Our workplaces are becoming more and more globalized. It is now a reality that in our daily work our staff will encounter someone from another culture. The key to success in business is to train your staff to deal with someone who has different values and beliefs than they do. Knowing these 10 key differences between cultures will certainly help your staff work better with international clientele.

There are many differences between cultures. The following table, adapted from The Managing Diversity Survival Guide, Gardenswartz & Rowe (IRWIN.1994) by Deborah Hall of the Immigrant Welcome Centre (www.immigrantwelcome.ca), summarizes the10 Key Dimensions of Culture.

Dimensions of Culture	Western Culture	Non-Western Cultures
Sense of self and space	Informal Handshake	Formal Hugs, bows, handshakes
Communication & language	Explicit, direct communication Emphasis on content Meaning found in words	Implicit, indirect communication Emphasis on context Meaning found around words
Dress & appearance	"Dress for success" ideal Wide range in accepted dress	Dress seen as a sign of position, wealth, prestige Religious rules
Food and eating habits	Eating as necessity	Dining as a social experience Religious rules
Times & time consciousness	Linear and exact time Consciousness Value on promptness Time = money	Elastic and relative time Consciousness Time spent on enjoyment of Relationships
Relationships, family, friends	Focus on nuclear family Responsibility for self Value on youth, age seen as handicap	Focus on extended family Loyalty & responsibility to family Age given status and respect
Values and Norms	Individual orientation Independence Preference for direct Confrontation of conflict	Group orientation Conformity Preference of harmony
Beliefs and attitudes	Self directed Challenging of authority Individuals control their Destiny Gender equity	Hierarchical Respect for authority and social order Individuals accept their destiny Different roles for men and women
Mental processes and learning style	Linear, logical and sequential Problem-solving focus	Lateral, holistic, simultaneous Accepting of life's difficulties
Work habits and practices	Emphasis on tasks Rewards based on individual achievement Work has intrinsic value	Emphasis on relationships Rewards based on seniority, relationships Work is a necessity of life

Awareness of different values, beliefs and attitudes is the first step in becoming more effective at dealing with different cultures.

The second step is to have staff become aware of their own preferences and habits, as well as become aware of what habits they have a hard time dealing with. Any number of assessments can be conducted, from simply going through the above list and selecting preferences, to psychological testing (e.g. see https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/ ), to enrolling in cross-cultural training programs. Understanding our own beliefs and attitudes gives us a place to start from.

The third step is to adapt individual beliefs, attitudes and behaviors to more effective ones. This step, however, is highly dependent upon your staff's willingness and motivation to change. Certainly your staff have the option of doing nothing about themselves and demanding that their business partners adapt to their styles. In the current marketplace, however, this attitude is not likely to lead to business success.

Knowing the 10 Key Dimensions of Culture prepares your staff to be successful in the global marketplace. Different strategies can be taken to encourage staff to be interested in changing their perceptions. Regardless of the strategy that's taken, they key is to get individual buy-in. Tolerance of other cultures can't effectively be "faked" and it certainly can't be forced. However, by increasing your staff's awareness of cultural differences they will be in a better position to work in this global world.

How to Choose an English Tutor

2013-05-09T22:29:00.000-07:00

How to Choose an English Tutor

Probably the single best way to learn English is to hire an English tutor. When you're ready to hire an English tutor, there are many things to consider. Let's look at what key points you should keep in mind when looking for an English tutor to help you with learning English.

Determine Your Budget

Improving your English is an incredibly important investment to make in yourself. In this article, let's purely focus on money and forget about all the other benefits of being fluent in English (and there are many!). One study (http://www.voxeu.org/article/it-pays-speak-english) discovered that being fluent in English increases the hourly wages of men by 34% and women by 22%.
How much money would that translate to in your life? Knowing this, how much are you willing to invest in yourself today to get that increased salary? Also consider how long do you plan to study English. What is your end goal, and how much work will it take to get there? The more you can work with a tutor one-on-one, the faster your English will improve.
Knowing your budget will help you to make some important decisions about the teacher/tutor you will hire.

Native English Speaker or non-Native English Speaker?

Your budget and the amount of time needed to achieve your goals will immediately determine whether or not you will be able to work with a Native English Speaker....

Read the rest of this article on http://www.overcomethebarrier.com/2013/05/10/how-to-choose-an-english-tutor/

The Best Groups to Be Involved With in Campbell River!

2013-05-09T12:53:00.003-07:00

The Best Groups to Be Involved With in Campbell River!

Seeking out and being around positive, collaborative and forward-thinking people has been key to the success I've had so far in Campbell River. And by success I mean: being happier, more fulfilled, having so many new friends and contacts, and feeling like an active member of this community.

I've spent the last 2 years out in the community discovering where the most positive and giving people hang out. There are so many great organizations and people in this community, and all serve different demographics and missions.

If you're between the ages of 19 and 45 and want to be active in the community to grow your business networks, social networks, take part in community initiatives and develop professionally, I highly recommend you check out the Young Professionals of Campbell River. http://www.ypcampbellriver.com/

If you're a business owner or a professional and want to connect with and support (primarily) women in the community, and meet some incredible ladies, check out Business and Professional Women's Network. http://www.bpwn.org/index.php

If you're into community service and want to do this kind of work with amazing people, check out the Kinsmen http://www.campbellriverkinsmen.com/home.html and Rotary Clubs. Also, I highly recommend signing up as a volunteer at Volunteer Campbell River. http://www.volunteercr.ca/

Do you love to support immigrants? Do you love diversity? Do you want to meet and work with some of the most kind-hearted, passionate and innovative people in the community? Then consider getting involved with the Welcome Centre. http://www.immigrantwelcome.ca/

And finally, if you want to be around people who truly believe that teamwork, abundance, friendship and positivity are key to living your Dream, then you'll definitely want to check out HALO and Halo Haley Larson. As Haley aptly says, "Teamwork makes the Dream work!"
http://halo-networking.com/

If you have any questions or want to know where and when any of these groups meet, give me a call and let's chat! 250-287-0086

7 Tips for Teaching English as a Foreign Language in China

2013-05-07T22:56:00.000-07:00

7 Tips for Teaching English as a Foreign Language in China

A few years ago I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to live and teach English in China. It was an incredible experience. There is so much depth and history to this amazing country! And what better way to explore this magical country than by teaching English there?
I learned a lot in my first months in China that I wish someone would have told me before I went. As much experience as I have with Chinese culture, I’m still an outsider; I still have misunderstandings. However, I invite you to consider these points so that you can get the most of your experience teaching English as a foreign language in China!

Read the rest of my article at... http://www.overcomethebarrier.com/2013/05/08/7-tips-for-teaching-english-as-a-foreign-language-in-china/

Amy Cuddy: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are

2013-05-07T22:54:00.000-07:00

Amy Cuddy: Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are

Amy discusses how you can you significantly change the outcomes of your life by practicing simple Power Poses. Using these techniques you can become more confident, more powerful and achieve the success you dream of! Watch this fantastic TED Talk to understand the research behind this wild claim!

Be a dog with love and a cat with dreams!

2013-05-04T19:40:00.003-07:00

Be a dog with love and a cat with dreams!

White Cat Insight

Accomplishment Coaching says,

INSIGHT + ACTION = RESULTS

Only when we take action on our new insights will we get results. What action might you take on this week because of this Insight?

Want to work with Dave Brown?

Call him at 250-287-0086 to set up a Conversation of Possibility NOW!

I Accept Myself Unconditionally Right Now!

2013-05-03T23:35:00.000-07:00

I Accept Myself Unconditionally Right Now!

December 2012 I posted a practice on Facebook for others to try, and I took it on myself.

It was very straightforward--post "I accept myself unconditionally right now" on the bathroom mirror, read it at least once a day and notice what happens. This is one powerful affirmation attributed to Louise Hay (http://www.louisehay.com/)

So I took on this practice, just as instructed... and without a doubt my level of self acceptance has grown in the past months.

An inner peace that I was previously unfamiliar with has taken residence in my heart.

In every moment, when that inner critic starts jumping up and down and begins judging the crap out of you, consider repeating to yourself.. "I accept myself unconditionally right now".. and see what happens.

White Cat Action

Accomplishment Coaching says,

INSIGHT + ACTION = RESULTS

Only when we take action on our new insights will we get results. What insights might you generate if you take on this Action this week?

Want to work with Dave Brown?

Call him at 250-287-0086 to set up a Conversation of Possibility NOW!

One Step to Love Everyone

2013-05-03T22:09:00.000-07:00

One Step to Love Everyone

Different leaders and visionaries have encouraged us to love everyone. If there is only one thing that is guaranteed to get in the way of loving someone, it's judgement. Judging them. But we are judging creatures. We are designed to judge and compare and interpret.

So I believe the secret is to not to try to stop judging people; instead accept that you are judging people all the time. Let the judgements flow. Don't stop them. But find a way to express those judgements without getting them on other people. Journal. Go for a run. Paint. Sing. Write. Let the judgements flow, but direct them away from other people.

Practice this, and I believe the result will be love for everyone.

White Cat Insight

You Are Great!

2013-04-23T16:11:00.001-07:00

"Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you can't do this or that.

That's nonsense. Make up your mind, you'll never use crutches or a stick, then have a go at everything. Go to school, join in all the games you can. Go anywhere you want to. But never, never let them persuade you that things are too difficult or impossible."

- Sir Douglas Bader was a British fighter pilot who lost both legs in a flying accident, but still fought in World War Two. He was knighted for his work with the disabled, and the quote above is from his talk to a 14-year-old boy who had lost a leg in a car accident.

-- Sir Douglas Bader (1910-1982) British Aviator

Time to Play a Bigger Game!

2013-04-10T17:38:00.001-07:00

I remember a time, not long ago, when I spent my lunch hours on facebook and the internet trolling for answers... Answers to the big questions.

What's the point of my life, I asked? I'm so unhappy, but what can I do about it? Is this, this pain, all that life has to offer?

I was reading voraciously--Man's Search For Meaning, philosophy, career texts. I was listening to the Greats of Motivation--Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar. I was in therapy, working hard on healing the past... Changing my negative beliefs about myself.

But I didn't know what to replace those beliefs with. I didn't know what to do! I was so bound up in figuring it out that I was incapable of acting. I felt like crap, I hated myself and I was hating all those around me.

Then, one day, someone said to me--I see more for you. You are great! You can have whatever you want in your life. I can be your partner. We'll start with small steps, but you will get there. I promise! Are you ready to change? Are you willing?

Thank God I said Yes!

Today I sit in Seattle, having reconnected with the amazing people who helped me to get where I am today. And I'm reflecting on what I have accomplished.

Where before I saw no future for myself, today I have a new career that fulfills me. Where before I was scared and alone, now I have a whole new family who loves me. Where before I tried to solve all my problems on my own, now I have a group of people I can call and get support from any time I need.

Even more than that, my journey has taught me how to help others get what they truly want from their life! I can be with people without being overruled by my judgements of them. I can see the Greatness in them too!

And I now get to see my wife going through the same evolution... And get to see her triumphs, her breakthroughs, and see her experiencing life and joy so much more fully.

Hi, my name is Dave. I am Leader, Honour, Humanity, Play!, Wonder. My purpose is Inspiration! I am a coach and a leader, and I am so honoured to share in the journeys of so many incredible people!

Ready to live a bigger life? Willing? What are you waiting for? :)

无为 wu wei

2013-03-31T14:50:00.000-07:00

When I stand by the river, and I see how the water flows, I think of myself like that... like water.

Water is endless and never stops...

It flows from a lake to a river, to pools... it's stopped by rocks for a while, but finds a way around it... it flows to the sea... then evaporates... and comes back as rain... back to the lake...

It is always there...

I see myself as water

my form may change

but nothing will ever stop me

or take me away...

Thanks for the inspiration Mamaji Love ;)

How to Not Suck -- 5 Strategies to Create an Awesome Life!

2012-07-20T23:29:00.000-07:00

Not long ago I was living a life where everything sucked. I hated my job, I didn't get along with the people I worked with, and I was frustrated by commuting. Every day it was an absolute chore to get out of bed. It got so bad for me that I was on the edge of just not being here anymore.
Thank God, the Universe, Spirit or the Spaghetti Monster, that I never gave up believing that I could discover a way to live a meaningful life. Because today my life is awesome!!! No, it's not perfect. I still have my down days. But without a doubt my life is a whole lot better.
But what did it take? How did I go from a miserable life to one where joy, love, friendship and inspiration became the norm, not the exception?
Here are 5 strategies to create an awesome life. These 5 things made ALL the difference in my life.

Do something you might like, just for the hell of it, even if you don't think you're any good at it. For many years I couldn't answer the question "what do you like?" -- I always said "nothing!" But it was a lie. I actually liked to draw and teach. I just told myself I wasn't any good at it. One day I decided to take a drawing class. I LOVED IT. And, it turns out I was pretty good at it.
Volunteer. Serving others is one of the simplest ways to feel good about yourself. And you get to meet other caring and giving people. You don't have to use your existing skills -- many agencies just need a warm body. Check out http://volunteer.ca/ for Canadian volunteering opportunities, or google "volunteer + [your city name]" I guarantee you'll find something to try.
Listen to inspirational people. My friend Matt leant me a bunch of audios: Anthony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, Deepak Chopra. There are so many amazing speakers out there; each has a unique perspective and style that appeals to different people. I like Anthony Robbins; here's an awesome interview: Anthony Robbins on You Tube
Release your emotions. What you resist, persists. When I started letting out the emotion that I was feeling, instead of bottling it, my life started to flow. And whenever my life stops flowing, it is blocked until I release my emotion. Find your way to release; write things on rocks and throw them away; scream in a pillow; scream in your car; smash cheap plates; watch emotional movies by yourself and cry; do something physical -- run, punch a punching bag or pillows.
Hire a coach, counselor or other healer. When I was in my own miserable reality, I couldn't see outside of it. A professional, unbiased perspective got me out of the perceptions that weren't serving me. Each profession has its own function (see Coaching is..?); the most important thing is to choose someone you can relate to and feel safe and comfortable with and someone who gets you to take action in your life.

Simple Gratitude

2011-11-22T22:17:00.001-08:00

“When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears” Anthony Robbins

Insight + Action = Results

2011-11-22T08:22:00.001-08:00

I've been breaking my commitment to myself to be transparent during the process of building my coaching practice. But as I've learned in the past months, though commitment is often viewed as a single event in time, it's often more useful to think of commitment as a series of recommitments.

So I recommit to sharing my experiences. :)

The recent months have been hard for me. My teachers, teammates and coach have me considering that view -- that life is hard -- as a choice, and indeed I see that there are different choices available, yet making a different choice is far from easy. My intention in sharing is to have you know that when you hit this point in whatever it is you are doing, there is nothing right or wrong about it. It's merely an experience.

Since I began coaching in July 2010, I have coached 15 clients privately, and more as a part of my training program. Not bad, huh?

I have passed through the different stages of building a business -- I've found pro bono clients, reduced-rate/partial-pay clients, and I've secured full pay clients. Each stage was difficult for me and pushed me out of my comfort zone. But I did it. I worked through my discomfort and got the result I wanted.

And now I sit at another point of discomfort, way outside my comfort zone. I just want to work with more people -- my sincerest dream is that they will fall from the sky into my lap -- but this is not how it's going to go for me. Not because it's impossible or unrealistic as a concept, but because it's impossible and unrealistic for me at this moment.

What do I mean?

I'm tired. I'm discouraged. I'm down.

And I'm just doing all of the things I would normally do when in this state -- I'm beating myself up ("you're such a loser, who's going to hire you?"), I'm sensitive to complaining and negativity ("holy crap, do people ever stop complaining!?") and I want to isolate myself ("I don't want anyone to see me like this -- what kind of coach would I be if I showed people my stuff?")

In this state of mind and being, it is literally impossible for me to have clients fall into my lap. I simply won't allow it. In this act of writing and sharing my feelings, I believe that it will push people away from me. So it will. Now, at this moment.

But that doesn't mean that there is anything wrong or bad or valueless about me writing this.

It's just an experience. And perhaps it's the experience that you need to read to propel you forward in your life.

At a later time, (maybe even 5 seconds after I complete this article), it will be realistic for me to have clients fall from the sky, because my state of being will allow it to be possible.

Or perhaps it will inspire you to contact me and hire me as your coach...

And what is the difference between me having this run through my head and not express it versus write it on a blog for others to see?

Writing is an action that I'm taking. An action to shift myself from being an isolated, lonely, terrified person, to being a fully expressed, connected and loving man.

Insight + Action = Results.

Guest Article: Can Staying Positive Stop Cancer?

2011-11-11T10:41:00.001-08:00

Guest Article

I'm so pleased and honored to be able to share this article, written by Trevor Bradshaw,with you all. Trevor is a public health advocate dedicated to fighting cancer. He is a recent graduate of the University of Central Florida and an aspiring writer. For more articles and information about his work, feel free to email him at trevorsendeavors@gmail.com.

Can Staying Positive Stop Cancer?

Oftentimes one of the first things that a cancer patient might hear after diagnosis is “Just stay positive.” But could staying positive actually become medical advice someday soon? It’s possible. Scientists studying the new field of physchoneuroimmunology have been exploring the interactions between the nervous and immune systems of the body, including exactly what power positive thinking can have on fighting cancer.

Although an exact link between positivity and increased survival rates has yet to be uncovered, recent studies have shown a cancer mortality rate 19% higher for pessimists than optimists. Optimists have even been shown to have an increased life expectancy in cancers that are thought to be based primarily on environmental factors such as lung cancer and peritoneal mesothelioma

It’s possible however that it’s not necessarily the power of positive thinking that accounts for the gap in life expectancy and mortality rates- it might be simply that too much of the wrong kind of negative thinking can be dangerous. New research has recently proven that there is a direct correlation between too much stress and tumor growth. In particular norepinephrine, a chemical that is released in heavy amounts during stressful situations, has come under scrutiny as it has been shown to increase cancerous tumor cell growth in mice and is thought to play a role in ovarian cancer in humans as well.

While we are still quite far away from doctor’s prescribing you to stay positive as a cancer drug, it should come as no surprise that doctors are more and more adamant that cancer patients attend support groups. Because support groups are an outlet for patients or survivors to discuss their emotions and reactions with others who have been through similar experiences they often decrease the dangerous levels of stress that come with cancer. Furthermore cancer support groups often help patients to forge long-lasting relationships in a like-minded community and can have a strong positive affect on a cancer patient or survivors’ outlook. In the end, while it’s clear we don’t know enough to say for sure that staying positive can actively help patients beat cancer maybe that old advice “Just stay positive” has something to it after all.

For more articles and information about Trevor's work, please email him at: trevorsendeavors@gmail.com.

Secrets to more Joy in Life. First, it ain't what you're doin' that's the problem!

2011-11-02T22:33:00.002-07:00

Untitled Document

Doing vs Being

In this series of articles we will explore some of the discoveries I've made in creating joy in my own life. You will learn some of the core concepts and tools that I have learned that keep me expanding my passion for life.

One of the secrets to finding joy in my life has come from the understanding that what you are DOING in life is not always the problem; often the problem is how you're BEING about it.

So what exactly do I mean by this? One day I came across a concept that I will never forget. Most people live life like:

DO HAVE BE

They believe that if they do a lot of activities, they will get a lot of things and they will be happy. Or they live life like:

HAVE DO BE

They believe the more stuff they have, the more than can do and therefore the more happy they will be. I learned a very that a very simple shift in the order of the verbs will lead to a better and more harmonious way to live:

BE DO HAVE

Be who we are or want to be, do the activities that support that being, we will naturally get what we want.

Doing

What do I mean by doing? Doing. Activity. Every day we are doing. We are in activity. We get up, eat, go to work, work, eat, work some more, eat some more, work some more, go exercise, go read, go traveling, go, go, go.

Many people are always going from one thing to the next to the next. And they think that by doing lots of things, they will accomplish lots of things, and therefore they will get LOTS of results.

Can you identify with that?

Being

What do I mean by being? Being. Simply, Who we ARE at any given moment. All of us have many states of being.

We can be child: "Oooh let's play!"

We can be Head: "I observe that you are unhappy."

We can be Heart: "I feel your pain... I can't help but cry."

How might this show up when facilitating a workshop or running a meeting?

Think of the authoritarian where she speaks from a sense of authority, from a view point of giver of information, as commander: "We're going outside right now. Get up, Go downstairs right now, wait for me, don't move until I get there."

Think of the facilitator where she speaks from a position of co-creation, of equality, of teamwork. "I'd really love to go outside now – what do you think? Would that work for you? Would you like to go together?"

Problems with a doing life

In both cases she has the same objective, and she does the same thing – she communicates her need to go outside – but her way of doing it is completely different because how she is BEING about it is completely different.

Here's the thing about just doing in life: often, what a person does is automatic. She feels tired, so she grabs a coffee. Someone calls her an idiot, so she gets mad. She makes a mistake while speaking in public and she starts justifying herself.

Does this sound familiar to you?

I'm not saying that any of what we do is bad or good – just that it is often automatic.. and if someone just focuses on what they are doing in life without considering how they're being about it, the results they generate, and the experience they have in life will be completely different.

Application

So how might this idea be applied to your life, right now? Let's look at: Being at Effect and Being at Cause. Also called Being Victim and Being Responsible.

Being at Effect

Many of people feel like victims in life and by being a victim I mean: they feel powerless and helpless in some act/circumstance/condition. They are DONE to. They are at effect.

Can you think of anyone in your life who sounds like this, maybe I can call him Save me Steve:

He seeks advice, looks for rescue, he can't be who he really are because of all the stuff that's happening in his life, and the source of the problem is everywhere but himself.

There's nothing wrong with being this way, and nothing right about it either. But it's not powerful. As a victim, I cannot be the source of my life.

Being at Cause

By contrast, let's look at being At Cause.. Being Responsible. I define a being responsible as: being accountable for interpretations and behaviors. Caring mainly about the ultimate success of projects and relationships and being oriented to action and correction rather than explanation and self-protection.

Who is a model of responsibility in your life?

I think of Responsible Ross. Ross focuses on what is working and what is not working. He does not approach a relationship or project as though something is wrong, he approaches it as though something is missing. Ross is not as concerned with looking good as with having life work.

I'm not saying that being Responsible is better than being victim. It's just that by being responsible I am empowered to be the source of my own results in life, not intimated or weighed down by it as I would as Victim. Responsibility actually gives me freedom to act.

So, how do you think life would be if you were living in a state of Responsibility? Do you think you would do anything differently than if you were in a victim state of being?

Doing vs Being in sales

As a final example, let's look at how this idea might be applied to a sales person.

How many different programs are there out there to teach you how to sell?

A LOT.

And some are very effective; some less so. So knowing what to do and how to do it is important. Agreed?

But let's look at two scenarios of a seller who is very skillful at selling:

First scenario: the seller wins the lottery the night before he meets his prospect. He has $100,000,000 in his bank account, and he goes to sell something to his prospect. The seller is elated and doesn't have a care in the world. His state of being is blissful, free and joyous. How do you think he will perform?

Second scenario: the seller's house burned to the ground the night before the seller met his prospect. The seller lost everything and the prospect was his only chance at getting some money for dinner for that night. The seller is defeated, scared and on the verge of emotional breakdown. His state of being is desperation.

How do you think he will perform now? Can you think of how your performance is being affected by how you're BEING about what you're doing?

What now?

We now have the idea that how you DO something is certainly important, but how you BE about it is even MORE important! So, with this important distinction made, what do you do now?

The "simple" answer is: learn to control your states of being. But as you may already know from experience, taking control of yourself can be a very great challenge, especially in emotional situations!! The HOW of it is a whole process in and of itself, something that we'll explore in more depth in the next article.

But to get you started, I believe that the first, and easiest step to take is grow self awareness. Are things not going the way you expect or hope them to go? Consider asking yourself some questions:

What are my thoughts, feelings and body sensations?

What beliefs, interpretations or judgments am I holding?

What result am I trying to get? What do I REALLY want?

And consider taking on activities that bring you to the present such as:

Meditation.

Conscious Breathing.

Grounding exercises.

What is a Life Coach?

2011-10-31T14:02:00.002-07:00

Found a great article defining what a life coach is/does.

life coaching/personal coaching definitions and features
Life coaching and personal coaching are interchangeable terms - they mean the same.
Life coaching aims to draws out a person's potential rather than puts in aims and knowledge from outside.
It develops rather than imposes.
It reflects rather than directs.
Effective life coaching or personal coaching is a form of change facilitation - it enables people, rather than trains them.
Life coaching is reactive and flexible - it allows for personal transition on an individual basis.
Coaching of this sort makes no assumptions - it's not judgmental, nor is it prescriptive or instructional.
Empathy is central to the coaching process.
Good personal coaching seeks to help the other person's understanding of himself or herself.
Life coaching is rather like a brand or label of the life coaching industry, but it potentially covers virtually every aspect of personal development that an individual might aspire to - for career direction and development, management, executive and leadership, business start-up and entrepreneurialism, life skills, personal fulfilment, life-balance, and the aquisition of specific skills or knowledge.
Life coaching can be this adaptable because it is not concerned with delivery and specilaised training - it focuses on enablement and reflection, so that the individual decides and discovers their required progression themselves.

Read the remainder of the article at:
http://www.businessballs.com/lifecoaching.htm

Thanks to all the Angels on Earth...

2011-10-10T10:01:00.002-07:00

You read a lot of articles from me of 'positive thinking' and goal setting. Here's the reality, even if it's hard to hear.

For a decade I was stuck in a cycle of depression and suicidal thinking. Just over a year ago, I was on the edge of ending my life almost weekly.

But I made a choice to change my life. I quit my job of 5 years and career of 10 years without knowing what was next... all I knew was that there was something better for me out there. It was scary... and for a few months I was really lost. Feeling happier to be removed from the stress of doing what I hated, but still not knowing what to do next.

10 months ago I met a life coach (Tracey Pitts) and more recently began working with another (Halli McNab).

In 10 months I have found a career I am passionate about (Life Coaching), I am earning money in my new career, my family relationships have improved, my romantic relationship is so much more fulfilling, I have at least 20 new friends who I know will be there for the rest of my life, I have generated income from nothing on the internet, I have stopped needing to take anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medication, and I have created a purpose for myself and my life.

This is what Life Coaching can do for you too. I did the work, I put in the effort, but my coaches have helped reveal the way...

Talk to me if you want to see how life coaching can change your life.

On this Thanksgiving weekend, I give thanks for Life Coaching and Life Coaches around the world. You are truly angels on Earth.

The Fourth Mistake: You're Trapped by your...

2011-09-18T20:48:00.001-07:00

In this series of articles, we’ve been looking at the mistakes Professional Women Make that Keep them Feeling Bored at Work and Trapped by the Corporate Cage. So far we have discussed what happens when you do not invest in yourself, what the result of isolating yourself is, and how your decisions are being ruled by FEAR.

The fourth mistake you're making that is keeping you bored at work and trapped by the corporate cage? You are trapped by your Contexts.

What's a Context?

I see this as one of the most prevalent and least obvious barriers to anyone's success. The context that you are living within prevents you from seeing any other possible ways of living. For you, your context is Reality. There is nothing else.

The simple realization that there is another way to look at life can be mind blowing.

But as we start to see our Contexts it becomes a bit of a journey down the rabbit hole because throughout our lives we have developed so many contexts... and when we chip away at our contexts, we are chipping away at our Reality.

First, what do I mean by context? Oxford Dictionary defines context as:

The parts of something written or spoken that immediately precede and follow a word or passage and clarify its meaning.

The circumstances relevant to something under consideration.

The idea can be extended to our minds: when an event occurs, the story that we have in our minds or the circumstances we are living in, creates context for the event. And our internal context gives meaning to the event. Have you ever been to a meeting with five different people and something happens in the meeting and the five participants have five different interpretations of what happened in the meeting? The different interpretations are a result of the different contexts the five different people have.

Simply put, context is the story, framework, paradigm, filter or colored lens through which you view the world. In the expression "see the world through rose-colored glasses", the rose-colored glasses are an example of a context. If you literally put a pair of rose-colored glasses, everything in the world takes on a pink hue. In reality, the world is still the same, vibrant and multicolored world, but from your perspective, everything looks pink. There are many contexts that are common to humans:

good & bad;
valuable & not valuable;
fair & not fair;
domination & submission, and

What Tracy Goss, in The Last Word on Power, defines as the Universal Human Paradigm:

There is a way that things should be. And when they are that way, things are right. When they're not that way, there's something wrong with me (the interpreter of events), with them (other people), or with it (anything in the world).

Why should I care about Contexts?

There is nothing 'wrong' about a context--it either enables you to achieve what you want or it does not. But it is important to recognize that contexts are decisive. Contexts limit the possibilities for action. If it is my context that cats should be locked indoors at all times, this forever defines what I will be able to do and how I will interact with my cat, my guests and myself. My context limits the possibilities for the actions I (and my cat) can take. I can never play with the cat outdoors. I can never hold the door open when the cat is near it. I can never have windows wide open.

This is all fine and good, but what if my parents gave me the context that cats must stay indoors at all times. What if I was never even aware that there was another way for cats and humans to interact? My choices and possibilities have been limited and I didn't even know it!

Whether we are aware of it or not, we have a context for everything in life. And we did not choose the majority of the contexts we have in our minds. The consequences for this can be disastrous.

For example, what is your context around money? Is that context helping you where you want to get to in life? One exercise you can conduct is as follows:

Write down all the judgments, negative facts, interpretations, and truths about the topic.
Then list the strategies you use to overcome each item.

adapted from Tracy Goss' Last Word on Power and Accomplishment Coaching

When I did this I discovered my context around money was:
1. money is evil, it's unfair (some have too much, others have too little), it's painful and deprives people of things they need/want, it's an unfair measure of success...
2. I avoid making lots of it; I avoid asking for the amount of money I want or think I'm worth; I give away services for free; I speak about all the other great things I do in my life that don't involve money.

The question I need to ask myself is: does this context around money help me in my life? What does this context make impossible in my life? Obviously this kind of a context that I have about money is not going make it very easy for me to become wealthy! So since my context doesn't help, what different view would help me in my life?

How do I reveal my Contexts?

Contexts are tricky beasts because they are real to us. The context I have around money is my reality. I'm going to assert that a millionaire's context around money is quite different. The question then becomes: how do I reveal my contexts?

One way I found is to live in a foreign country. My time living in China taught me a lot about my own contexts and the contexts I was given by my western culture. While living in Asia, I saw a different way to approach things. And some ways I found to be more useful in my life. The most empowering result of being aware of my own contexts was Choice -- my choices were expand.

Another great way is to work with a therapist, life coach or other healer. Why? Because they can stand outside of you and see the reality that you're creating for yourself when you cannot.

Finally, through reading this article, I hope that I have provoked you to start asking yourself the question: what context am I in at the moment? Am I playing in a right/wrong context? Awareness is the first step to freeing yourself from automatic and unhelpful contexts.

From the series:

If you want to learn more about the contexts that are the way of your success, contact me for a free consultation. info@bestcoaching.ca

Guest Post from Murray Newlands -- 2012 Blogger's Awards

2011-09-05T22:21:00.004-07:00

The 2012 Blogger's Awards There are so many excellent bloggers and publishers doing excellent work, and those who stand out deserve to have their hard work recognized, relate with each other, and see their readerships grow. That’s why the World Media Awards exist- to recognize and reward great contributions to media from bloggers and publishers.

In my own career, I’ve learned and benefited so much from others that I wanted to help build some way to give back to an industry I love show appreciation to the up-and-coming leaders. The World Media Awards will culminate in a 1 day event in San Francisco that will celebrate the best in blogging, forums, publishing and media from around the world.

So if you are a world class blogger, why should you enter?

1. Get Recognized- You Deserve It :)

You put a lot of effort into making your blog amazing. You understand it and your readers know it. The World Media Awards is a way for you to get authoritative credit from other bloggers and industry experts. That recognition will help you build your readership, make new collaborative connections, and hopefully have great moments that make all the late nights even more worthwhile.

2. Meet Other Bloggers Who Care

Blogging, forums and most other online media is about conversation and interaction, but sometimes it’s easy to end up pecking away behind a screen in your office or home all alone. Meeting other bloggers and publishers keeps the fire lit and the conversation going. When you enter the World Media Awards, you’ll be listed alongside other bloggers and publishers who put the same level of delight, attention and effort into making their blog great.

3. Expose Yourself to New Partners

If your blog or forum is part of your organization, being part of the World Media Awards will increase your exposure by putting your name in front of countless visitors to our site and the award ceremony. That means you can find out who else is doing very good work, strut your own stuff, and expand your network of contacts and collaborators.

4. Make Yourself Irresistible to Clients

What helps your chances at being victorious that next pitch more than expanding your network? Telling that network that you are the winner of a World Media Award. Winning an award shines a light on your achievements, and it serves as an example of the commitment, engagement and exacting standards you apply to your work.

5. Be Part of the Beginning of Something Big

Because 2012 is the first year for these awards, you have the one-time benefit to be the inaugural winner and set the standard for the World Media Awards in your category. Getting in on the ground floor of these awards will open doors for you as a blogger and a publisher.

The bottom line is, the World Media Awards will shine a spotlight on the year’s most prosperous bloggers and publishers, and on the businesses and companies that serve and interact with them.

Now is your chance to be one of them.

The sponsors include Growmap, Pace Lattin, VigLink and Trancos. World Media Award judges include Steve Hall, Sarah Austin, Chang Kim, Julie Wohlberg, Pierre Zarokian, Ivka Adam, Cheryl Contee, Krystyl Baldwin, Adrian Harris, Jeremy Wright, Rob Bloggeries, Dave Duarte, Tanya Alvarez, Dana Oshiro, Tom Foremski, and Judith Lewis.

hashtag #wmads on Twitter.

Media partners include Adrants, Bloggeries, MediaVision, The Affiliate Marketing Awards, Read Write Web, My Blog Guest, Web Traffic Control and FeedBlitz.

Murray Newlands is author of How to Make a Blog Book and Online Marketing; a User Guide. He is also founder of the Affiliate Marketing Awards. Born in the UK, he now spends his time in San Francisco and New York. Murray works for Audience Mindshare and consults for Trancos Ins as well as being an advisor for VigLink. Actually he is working on his new book: The Email Marketing Book.