For me, the answer is all of them.

Many women SAY they want a “nice” guy…but if you ask her how long she dated the last nice guy she met, she’ll usually say “3 or 4 dates…”

But ask how her how long she dated the last “jerk”, and she’ll often say years… or… “I’m still dating him now!”

Something about these guys leads women to do crazy things. I’ve seen women leave family, friends and careers behind to follow a “jerk” across the country… shutting out everyone who tells her to move on… even her closest friends.

It’s no secret – Jerks are like junk food to women… with “nice” guys being more like health food…

Women try to eat healthy… they want to eat healthy… but when they go to the store they end up leaving with the junk.

So what is it about these guys that makes women so crazy for them?

How do these guys draw women to them… get women to choose them over other guys who seem to be better for them… and make women so addicted to them… and be such dicks at the same time?

Well, here’s the good news:

It isn’t simply the fact that these guys are jerks that draws women their way…

It’s a combination of several important traits and behaviors… and the really good news is that you can learn them and use them to attract women like crazy yourself… without having to be a “jerk” to do it.

I get a lot of emails from guys who read my newsletter that say things like…

“I’m sure what you’re saying is right, but I don’t want to be a jerk or an a**hole to women…”

…or…

“I have seen what you’re talking about happen all my life, but I’m a ‘nice guy’ and I want women to like me for me…”

…and…

“This doesn’t make sense…”

For most of my life, I was the nice guy of nice guys. As a matter of fact, when I first made the decision to learn how to be successful with women, this actually created an obstacle for me.

Let me explain…

Because I believed that “being a nice guy” must be the way to success with women, I ACTUALLY COULDN’T EVEN PERCEIVE ANY OTHER WAY.

In other words, I could see a situation where a woman was attracted to a mean, abusive guy and think to myself that either she must be screwed up in the head, or THAT THE GUY MUST BE REALLY NICE TO HER THE REST OF THE TIME.

As you probably know, it’s hard to convince a person to believe something when they already have a belief about the topic. The person that you’re trying to convince just uses whatever you say to convince themselves that they’re actually right…and you’re wrong.

I did the exact same thing.

No matter how much evidence I found to the contrary, I still somehow believed that being a “nice” guy, buying women flowers and gifts, taking them out, and generally letting them be in control of the relationship HAD to be the way to attract them.

Well, after continuing along the same path and getting the same results, I realized something that literally changed everything for me.

I realized that jerks  do, in fact, attract hot women.

Selfish behavior, as unhealthy as this might sound, often makes women feel attracted to you.

Sarcasm, ball busting, playing hard to get and all kinds of other “illogical” things really do work when it comes to attracting women.

But, then I had a dilemma…

I love the idea of being successful with women but, I hate the idea of mistreating people, being mean to them, lying and being misleading, etc.

Deep down, I wanted to be a good guy.

I decided that there must be a way to make this work, and to attract women without being abusive.

The good news is that there is a way.

But, it requires that you put aside your current ideas for just long enough to entertain some new ones.

First, let me say that I believe I’ve found a way to take the things that jerks do to attract women and use them without the abuse. When you learn to do this, you can really have the best of both worlds… you can be nice to women on your own terms, and give them what they really want, and what really attracts them.

So, WHY DO WOMEN BECOME ATTRACTED TO JERKS?

The short answer is that they don’t CHOOSE it, it’s something that just happens.

ATTRACTION ISN’T A CHOICE.

It’s an emotional response to certain things.

Women don’t choose to feel the emotion called attraction for jerks any more than you choose to feel the emotion called attraction for young, beautiful, hard bodied women.

Nature has preprogrammed men with a mechanism that works like this:

SEE HOT WOMEN —> FEEL ATTRACTION

Well, women have a similar mechanism. But I think that the female version is more complex.

Yes, women do feel attraction for extremely handsome men… but they feel a MUCH STRONGER ATTRACTION for certain PERSONALITY TRAITS and BEHAVIORS than they do for physical looks alone.

So, again the short answer is that it’s just something that “happens” inside of a women. She doesn’t “choose” it.

So, what is it about the “jerk” that creates this powerful, uncontrollable attraction inside of women?

Let me answer first by telling you what it’s not:

It’s not the abuse (not usually anyway). I don’t believe that women are attracted to that abusive, mean, negative part of the “jerk personality”.

I think that jerks just happen to also possess several attractive qualities that are so powerful that that they literally make women blind to the abuse… women will rationalize and excuse the abusive behavior because they are so attracted to these other qualities.

Here’s a partial list of what creates that attraction:

- Unpredictable

- Uncontrollable

- Challenging

- Dominant

Of course, there are many more, but this will get us started for this discussion.

The qualities I’ve listed above, when presented correctly, trigger the natural “attraction mechanism” inside of women.

Jerks have taken natural qualities that are attractive to women a little “too far”.

But because they’re still there, the qualities trigger the attraction anyway.

So, what does this mean to you?

Well, the most important thing is that it means you can still be a good guy and attract women at the same time.

You’re probably going to have to learn how to flirt in a different way, become a little more comfortable being challenging to women, etc. But, in the end, you’ll find that this will get you what you want and still allow you to treat women well… all on your own terms.

It also means that instead of being the guy who women talk to about their relationship problems and how their mean jerk boyfriend is being abusive again… you can be the guy who they’re dating and sleeping with!

Yes!

Even though “jerks” and “bad boys” don’t treat women well, doesn’t mean that women don’t feel attraction for them.

In fact, women often report feeling incredibly attracted to these kinds of men… so powerfully, in fact, that they can’t control these feelings…

As I was learning these interesting and “counter intuitive” lessons, I also began documenting the specific things that the guys who were “naturals” with women did…in order to attract women.

One of my biggest realizations was that literally any guy can attract women… if he just understands how attraction works.

And any guy can use the secrets that “jerks” and “bad boys” have discovered and used… without being abusive or mean.

In fact, if you leave out the meanness or abuse, a woman will be far more likely to stay around.

Now, I’d like you to take time to think about what I’ve said here in this newsletter.

Think about how you can cultivate the qualities that I’ve mentioned above into your personality.

See if you can be a little less predictable.

Don’t let outside events or women control you.

Be more of a challenge.

Stop being submissive… and get in touch with that side of you that is more dominant (I said “dominant”, not “domineering”).

This will give you a great head start.

Alright now. If you haven’t downloaded your copy of my eBook, then get to it…

You’ll learn more in a few hours of studying my materials than most guys will learn in their whole lives about how to attract women.

It comes with an “offer you can’t refuse” and I’m serious…

You can try them at zero cost… nothing.

If you’re not thrilled and you don’t meet more women, you don’t have to pay a dime.

You can download the eBook here right now:

Free Dating Tips For Men

I’ll talk to you again in a couple of days.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

If you recall, one of the concepts that I teach goes something like this:

* ATTRACTION isn’t something that is logically chosen.

* ATTRACTION is basically an EMOTIONAL RESPONSE to certain cues and behaviors.

One of the things I’ve isolated that seems to cause women to feel this magical ATTRACTION to men is the idea that I call being “Cocky & Funny.”

This is simply using an arrogant style of humor when you’re dealing with attractive women that leads to them feeling the emotion of ATTRACTION for you.

At the seminars I teach, I realized that several of the guys were having trouble getting the idea that a woman could feel an emotion like ATTRACTION in response to something as seemingly unrelated as making arrogant jokes (especially about her) and making her laugh.

I mean, how COULD this possibly work?

I thought I’d take this newsletter and talk a bit about why I think that something so illogical could help you to create ATTRACTION, and some specifics about how to do it.

FIRST THE “WHY”…

Remember, women feel ATTRACTION for a very different set of reasons than men do.

Where men focus more on LOOKS, women focus more on PERSONALITY, SELF ESTEEM, POWER, and several other more “intangible” qualities.

Women also love men who can make them laugh.

And by watching a lot of guys who are VERY good at attracting women, I’ve noticed a common pattern.

Most of these guys use a common way of communicating with women that communicates the above qualities WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING TO SAY THAT THEY HAVE THEM.

I call this way of communicating “Cocky & Funny,” and it’s one of the cornerstones of attracting women.

I believe that when a man is Cocky & Funny, he triggers a primal response inside of a woman that creates an instant emotional ATTRACTION.

This is because women come “pre-wired” with an internal template of what comprises a desirable mate, and a set of emotional trigger buttons that, when pushed, create that powerful emotional response called ATTRACTION that compels her to mate with the man who triggers it.

Most men have no idea that this mechanism exists or how to trigger it, so they do traditional “nice guy” things like buying dinners, gifts, and flowers… and giving women compliments… and calling them all the time (which usually have the OPPOSITE of the desired effect when used too much, and too early on).

As I got to know more and more guys who were REALLY GOOD with women, I started to see that they weren’t afraid to make fun of attractive women, bust on them, and even challenge them… but it was always done in a VERY FUNNY, even charming way.

At first I just assumed that it was the fact that this pattern was just a technique that my friends were using to make conversation.

Only after really paying attention, trying out this technique myself quite a bit, and LOOKING CLOSELY AT THE ACTUAL RESPONSES I WAS GETTING did I begin to realize the UNBELIEVABLY POWERFUL EMOTIONAL RESPONSES  that this one concept was generating.

And after working on it, testing it, refining it, and studying the finer points about women, men, and the whole “mating process” did I begin to really understand how well this worked.

Here’s the basic formula:

1. Take an arrogant comment.

2. Add humor to make it funny.

3. Feel free to use this combination when poking fun at the woman you’re dealing with.

Here’s a simple example:

Let’s say you’re walking down the street with a woman and she says, “Wow, I really like those shoes in the window” and you answer, “You would”.

Here’s another one:

Let’s say you’re talking to a woman who’s wearing a pair of shoes with four inch heels, and you say, “So what, are you about four feet tall without the shoes?”

Get it?

You’re saying things that are FUNNY while at the same time A BIT ARROGANT.

An added bonus that these two examples demonstrate is that neither one is quite clear.

It’s obvious that you’re making fun of her, but it’s not exactly clear what you mean.

When you communicate like this, you communicate:

1. That you’re confident.

2. That you’re comfortable.

3. That you’re intelligent.

4. That you’re funny.

…which, of course, are all qualities that lead to a woman feeling ATTRACTION.

Of course, most men wouldn’t even THINK about saying things like this to a woman that they find attractive because they fear REJECTION.

Most men would also say that I must be CRAZY for thinking that these kinds of comments would trigger an EMOTIONAL response of ATTRACTION inside of a woman.

I can understand this because when I first saw guys being Cocky & Funny with women, I PERSONALLY couldn’t believe that it was what was creating the ATTRACTION.

But the fact is that IT DOES CREATE ATTRACTION.

And as illogical as it seems, if you learn how to cultivate the skill of being Cocky & Funny, you’ll notice an AMAZING difference in the way that women respond to you.

You’ll find that the more you refine and perfect the technique, the more women will want to talk to you, be around you, and feel the uncontrollable urges associated with ATTRACTION.

So here’s the formula again: When you’re in a situation with a woman, say things that are both Cocky & Funny.

Let’s say you’re talking to a woman, and she says, “Here, let me buy this round of drinks.”

You might respond by saying, “Look, don’t think that just because you buy me a drink that I’m going to go home with you. I’m not that easy….”

Or maybe she mentions that she just started working as a waitress… and you say, “Well, that’s a deal breaker for me, because I need a woman who makes enough to support the both of us so I can pursue my life-long goal of being a house husband.”

Are you with me?

These are all FUNNY and at the same time ARROGANT.

One of the exercises that I recommend is to take some time and come up with a whole bunch of Cocky & Funny comments that YOU can use in the most common “real world” situations you find yourself meeting women in… and then mentally rehearse them so you have them ready in your mind to use.

When you use this magical way of communicating with women, you’ll find that it often sparks an INSTANT sexual tension, and sets up a perfect interaction between you and the woman you’re talking to.

It creates a wonderful, entertaining CHALLENGE that women just LOVE to engage in…

It not only sets you apart from other men, but as I mentioned, it also triggers that wonderful emotion called ATTRACTION at the same time.

Double Bonus!

Of course, this is one part of a much bigger picture of how to use your personality to create sexual tension and ATTRACTION from the VERY BEGINNING of your interactions with women.

And if you’re reading this right now and you haven’t taken the time to download my online eBook, then you need to go and do that RIGHT NOW. You can download it and be reading it within a few minutes. Go get it here:

Free Dating Tips For Men

I’ll talk to you soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

i love your news letter and i have been reading it for almost a year. i have been with the same girl for nine months because of you dave! i used to the same way about chics, buying them dinners, etc. but once i started applying your techniques i met the love of my life. i drive a piece of crap and i am a broke college student. i played like i didnt care when my girl and i first met before i know it she’s giving me lots of great sex, money, dvd player, clothes, etc. i was cocky and funny but also threw in a little sweetness to catch her off gaurd. Ladies get bored with the same old dates,etc. I did OUTRAGEOUS THINGS IN AND OUT OF THE BEDROOM AND NOW WE ARE PROBABLY GOING TO GET MARRIED LATER ON WHEN I GET OUT OF COLLEGE!

THANKS DAVE! -C   FROM TX

>>>MY COMMENTS:

What’s this you say?

You have a great girl buying YOU things… including clothes, and even DVD players?

Very powerful stuff.

You know, in your letter you mentioned throwing in a “little sweetness” to “catch her off guard.”

I would like to share a little profound revelation:

It’s OK to be sweet.

Yes, I know, sounds a little weird coming from me.

But, it is OK to be sweet to women.

The problem is that most guys do it TOO MUCH, and TOO SOON. And they come across as needy Wuss Boys who are trying to use “niceness” to manipulate.

When you meet a girl you really like and decide that you want to take things to a “relationship” level, it’s actually great to be sweet.

Just don’t do it before date #10! lol…

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Hi Dave,

I recently had a very serious conversation with my boyfriend of two years about threesomes.   I know this isn’t really a dating question, but I want to get some input about this situation in relationships in general and I thought you and your newsletter would be a good place to start. I am aware that as far as every guy in the world is concerned a threesome is the best thing that could happen in a relationship because he gets to have twice as much fun as normal.   But could most guys actually go through with it?Could they really have sex (or whatever else) with a girl while being in a serious relationship with another? Does this stuff even go through the mind of the average male?

I am also aware that guys like two girl and one guy threesomes and not the other way around. would a guy think about the situation more if it were their girlfriend having sex with another guy? Also, how often do threesome ideas make it out of the minds of men and into the bedroom?

hope you can answer some of my questions

es canada

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You’re right about this not being a dating question, but who cares… it’s a question about all men’s favorite fantasy, so I’ll allow it.

Now, what the heck are you doing asking, “Would a guy think about the situation more if it were their girlfriend having sex with another guy?”

Who cares! No guys do. They only want to know what you’d look like kissing your best friend.

LOL!

And yes, your boyfriend could “have sex (or whatever else)” with a girl while being in a serious relationship with another.

Hey, you’re the one who opened up the barn door by having the “very serious conversation” with him.

Let me know if it happens. We’re all on the edge of our seats here.

***QUESTION***

You know what David, you were right, and I feel sick to my stomach right now. I met this woman, went out a few times, nailed her the first night and all that. I bought her some flowers for Valentine’s Day, mostly because she complained like 3 times since I’ve known her (only a couple weeks) that she never gets flowers on Valentine’s Day, so I wanted to surprise her.

So I took great care to sneak around her while she wasn’t looking, and plant them where she’d find them. Well she did, and here’s what she said, “Oh, that’s a really nice gesture, but next time just leave them in my car okay? I don’t want the other students giving me a hard time or making faces at me (this was at karate class)”,   In one quick moment, my heart sank right to the floor, and I felt WORSE about myself than before I bought her the flowers! NEVER AGAIN am I wasting money on this bullsh** holiday unless I’ve been with someone for a year or more.

I can’t believe I actually feel LESS close, and like I have LESS power with this woman than I did before I did something nice for her. You better believe I won’t make this mistake again. If you’re willing, please share this story with your readers so that at least the other guys can benefit from my ignorance, and learn a lesson from it too.   J

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Hey, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

I’d offer a hug, but what YOU need is to be slapped up side the head for being a JACKASS!

You bought something for a woman because she COMPLAINED?

Here, do this:

Go in the bathroom.

Find the mirror.

Take a big black sharpie pen, and write the following on your forehead (backwards, so you can read it):

“STOP BEING A DUMBASS!”

Try that.

If you’re still with this girl in a YEAR, then buy her some flowers.

But, will you leave them in her car this time?

Thanks for contributing… you’ve probably saved many guys from a similar fate.

***QUESTION From A WOMAN***

David,

First of all, I would like to say that I really enjoy reading your newsletters. A male friend of mine started receiving them, and he now has me reading them too. Now, thanks to you, we have both adopted a “NO WUSS” policy..he’s going to stop being one, and I’m going to stop dating them. :)

I have a question that I would like your insight on.. perhaps I should set the stage with a sample online conversation… (After the usual initial blah blah and silly comments on my part, he asked and I sent him a pic)

him: yep, cute

him: how tall are u

me: 5′10″

(insert cricket sound effects and silence)

me: helloooooooooo

him: later.. need to go work on a paper the end.

Me to the cricket: well, at least he didn’t ask if I play basketball.

My question is this.. are most men really intimidated by taller women? If so, why? I have actually dated a couple of people who were obviously uncomfortable with my being taller than they are. One even asked if I would mind not wearing heels when we’re out together, because it made him feel weird. Needless to say, he got the boot. (ha) If this is a silly concern, feel free to hit “delete” or tell me to consult the pages of Cosmo. I can take it! :) I’d just like to know if there’s anything I can do to make these guys feel more at ease.

Thanks a lot!

BL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yes, a lot of guys are intimidated by tall women.

No, I’m not.

Yes, send me your number and picture.

By the way, I fit your “No Wussy” policy. I’m your man.

***FOLLOW UP COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Hi Dave,

You are a Brat. I wanted to clarify something from my letter which seemed to set you off. That part about school/marraige/fairness: To be fair, if he invested in my education, as my husband, he would more likely get a return on that investment than if he were just a boyfriend I was living with. It is my opinion that people who live together have all these committed ties, but one foot out the door. Kinda like playing house. Personally, I don’t like doing things that half-a**ed, and would prefer to eventually make a home–with the right guy.

You are right on about him needing your material, but if I sent him your e-book, it would be insulting, don’t cha think? I do get bored if a guy doesn’t keep me on my toes, I know that about myself. And, after awhile, it’s a bore being the only one pointing up to the sky.

What’s the deal with you, anyway? Are you just shopping? What happens to a guy who has all the lines? Maybe this forum your path to personal enlightenment. So, how’s that going?   SC from Sac

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ohhhh, well thanks for clarifying.

I understand now.

If he supports you and pays for you to go to school when you’re MARRIED, then “he would more likely get a return on that investment than if he were a boyfriend I was living with”…

Powerful.

More likely.

Return on investment.

I feel ya.

That changes everything and makes it completely fair.

Oh, and I didn’t recommend that you buy him my eBook. I recommended that you buy him my ADVANCED MATERIAL. He needs serious help, dear.

And what’s the deal with ME?

Am I “just shopping”?

“What happens to a guy who has all the lines?”

What do you mean “What happens?”

You make it sound like I should be going through some empty feeling of superficial accomplishment followed by a depressing realization of unfulfillment… now that I know the secrets of how to make women feel attracted to me.

Sorry, can’t help you there.

Knowing what makes women “tick” kicks ass!

***QUESTION***

Hi David,

this is a letter from one of your italian fans….after having received your newsletter for several months now, im really thinking to purchase your e-book… i was specially impressed by the “cocky&funny” attitude which attracts women in a great way! and damn! this stuff works!!!

the interesting thing i want you to know is that i have been a horrible wussy for several years! i did almost everything on your wussy list! like being nice to everyone….and so on…(; fortunately (at the age of 20, now im 22)   i had the luck to meet a guy of 27 years who was very successfull and experienced in approaching and “getting fisical” with girls…he taught me a lot about psicology of women and other very intresting stuff you already should know…(; almost each weekend we went out he got to know new girls, specially american students here in rome and other really good looking italian beautys…i analyzed what he did, his behaviour and so on…

and now we ask ourselves…why was he so successfull? and the answer is that he was almost all the time cocky and funny! always making fun of the girls! and he wasnt even goodlooking, just medium…i began to imitate his behaviour and since then i had an incredible success with girls which surprised myself and all my friends because i was dating one really hot girl after another….so if you want to get interesting or “attractive” you gotta be special, unique, full of selfesteem, funny, unpredictable and all the other stuff you teach us! thats the way how it works…sure there are thousands of other things to do…i dont need to tell you…

now i got a very important question for you, i think that this should be a big help for almost everyone receiving your newsletters or already owning your e-book. my biggest problem is the first contact…how to behave afterwards and how to get fisical later is much easier in my opinion…lets take this example, im in a pub with a friend of mine, close to us are, lets say 3 goodlooking girls on a table and two of them seem to be interested because they keep on looking to us…they smile at us, look in our eyes for a few seconds and play with their hair, showing you their “delicious” neck , talk with a loud voice to take your attention and so on ( some of the signs women usually make)…

my problem is now how to go on! they seem to be interested but nobody is outgoing enough to walk over to the other table to start a conversation in order to establish a first contact.. you always teach us that the content of the conversation is not so important as the way you say it right?   but what can i tell them? (fear of rejection i know) . how would you react or behave? walking by, what would you tell them? ( i think just asking them if they want to sit down with us on our table is very wussy)… try to give us concrete examples of the first “cocky&funny” contact in a pub or other tipical places… that would be great…

thanks for helping the wussyfied planet…(;

M.M.   Rome, Italy

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know, I’m glad to hear that you met a guy who was successful with women, and learned from him.

OF COURSE he was Cocky & Funny.

I learned most of my best ideas about how to meet women from guys who were successful with women, and I found that they all did basically the SAME things… even though they didn’t “realize” that they were doing anything at all, for the most part.

Meeting and hanging out with “naturals” is one of the very best things you can do to learn how to be more successful with women (the other is to study the materials that I’ve put together at the same time, so you can have the advantage of having it all explained to you).

Now, to answer your question about approaching women in “a pub.”

I think the issue that you’re PROBABLY dealing with is REJECTION.

You’re probably afraid to go start a conversation because you don’t want to be rejected by women.

Once you can face this reality and start to deal with it, then you’ll start making more progress.

My experience starting conversations with groups of more than one woman in bars is that your ENERGY makes a huge impact.

In other words, if you walk over and act nervous and stilted, the women will get nervous and act cold.

If you act like you’re having a good time, you think they look like some fun people to talk to, and you start on that note, they’ll be FAR more likely to be friendly and open.

Now, I know a lot of guys who are GREAT at meeting women in bars. Some of them use rather interesting and complex techniques that range from “pick up lines” all the way to magic and psychic readings.

Try this:

Pick up your drink, walk over to the table, think of the funniest moment of your life so you have a smile on your face and say, “What, are you girls shy or something?”

When they say, “NO, why?”

Answer, “Because I’ve been sitting at the next table for at least a half hour and you haven’t come over to say hi to me!”

I have about 3 different friends who all use variations of this opening… and it works great (if you’re having fun when you say it).

You need to get over your FEAR. Once you stop caring what women think of you, then you’ll make a LOT more progress.

***COMMENT***

Hey, I got your eBook a month or so ago. Great stuff. I write a comment to you because of one of your letters, the one from “M. Missouri”, specifically. He described starting his marriage with the C&F and losing his touch. My advise: hit the book, bud. My marriage was the typical story of the wife with all the power. This last month, the whole deal has turned on its head. We’re celebrating our 10th anniversary next year, and my use of your eBook has moved the power from her to at least shared (it’ll be all mine soon enough).

The posture advise, and slowed deliberate, confident movements, and, of course, the “like I give a F” attitude all have brought this about. Thanks David, and to the guy who’s losing his edge, take it from someone that had no edge and is getting all of the control: you’ve let the book sit unstudied for too long. If I can change over 8 years of bad history, you can reel your situation back in.

P in Portland

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Great job, man.

Too many guys have this ideal or fantasy in their minds of “being equals” with a woman, etc.

Ain’t gonna happen.

Attractive woman aren’t interested in an EQUAL.

They’re NEVER attracted to guys who are EQUALS.

Attractive women want a guy who is a LEADER. One who takes charge, keeps them on their toes, is unpredictable, Cocky & Funny, etc.

Thanks for the letter.

***BREAKTHROUGH***

David, this might seem usual but I owe you $40. See I purchased your ebook about a year ago but asked for a refund because “it didn’t work for me”. I realize now that it wasn’t your material rather my own issues that I had to deal with. During that time frame I still read your newsletters and gained more understanding of the mindset of one who “Gets it”. I’m still working on that but as you said, some are quicker learners than others.

Another factor in this was the other day when this hottie that I was chatting up was saying how she would hold out longer if the guy was “relationship material” than if she wanted a booty call. (A great time for a quick C&Fcomeback) A light clicked on and I remembered where I’d read that before. The clincher was when a buddy of mine let me listen to some of your advanced material.   All I can say is that I’m getting my own copy as soon as I can. So where do I send you your money?

Thanks, E.S. in San Diego.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I admire you for coming back a year later and admitting that you were the issue, not the material.

SO YOU’RE THE GUY WHO ASKED FOR A REFUND, HUH!?

lol… hey, it’s OK.

Yes, women do “hold out” longer if a guy is “relationship material”… that is, if they are in CONTROL of the situation they do.

And yes, at that point you should have shot back:

“So that’s how you think of me… as just a BOOTY CALL? How romantic.”

You know, sometimes I even find it hard to believe that all this strange stuff is true about women and dating.

But, it is…

***COMMENT FROM A WOMAN***

Dave

What are you doing?   Wait I’ll answer that, YOU are   taking away ALL of the fun we get to have! Ok I’ll admit you’re right about most, ok all, of it, but there is still at least ONE thing that I know you have never answered.   If we put a guy into your so called “Friends” category even YOU don’t know how to get him out of it!

JB -Canada

P.S. I recommend you stop selling your books and “advanced tactics” before you do something serious.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, I’m really in danger now, huh?

And you’re right… once a guy is in the “friends” category it’s not easy to get out.

In fact, I tell guys to just walk away and forget about it, because it’s such a pain to try to change.

But, there’s GREAT NEWS!

There are SO MANY women running around on this planet that it DOESN’T MATTER.

Next!

The ironic part is that when you do take the “Next!” attitude and stop treating a woman, who only likes you as a friend, like she’s special, she’ll often change her mind and start liking you.

Go figure.

***COMMENT***

First off, I am an avid reader of your material and I employ it often.   It works – well.   I bought your ebook about a year ago and it was worth every penny. Anyway, enough ass-kissing.   I have a general comment about the whole gift-buying, dinner-buying kissing a woman’s ass concept.   You say that doing such things to win over a woman’s attention are foolish.   I agree wholeheartedly. However, I am in a relationship now with a woman that I really like, and sometimes I want to buy her things or take her out, etc. This isn’t because I feel I have to, but it is because I want to treat her well.   I don’t feel that if I don’t do this, she will leave me.

Therein lies the difference between being foolish and needy about it, and doing it by your own decision.   It is the INTENT behind what you do that is important.   If you do something for a woman because you feel you have to or you will possibly lose her, she can more than likely sense that, and will have limitless amounts of power over you.   If you do something because you want to, then she will sense the apparent confidence in you, and will not necessarily have power over you because of it. Besides, like you say, a woman should want you for YOU – your personality – not what you can buy her or where you can take her. NOTE: I agree that gift-giving, etc. is a somewhat bad idea in the beginning of a relationship for the same reasons you don’t like it.   It makes you appear needy and insecure, and no (emotionally stable) woman wants that in a man.

P.S.   It was your material that helped give me the mentality to get with the girl I am dating currently. Good work fella!

J from Philly

>>>MY COMMENTS:

YES!

You get it!

It’s the intent behind what you’re doing.

I have a little secret that I’m going to share with you. But lean in close, so I can whisper. I don’t want anyone else to hear…

I actually have guy friends who are REALLY good with women who take women to dinner, buy them drinks, etc. when they first meet.

What, you say?

How can this be?

Well, the big difference is that these guys are NOT doing this stuff to GET THE WOMAN’S APPROVAL.

And since EVERYTHING ELSE they’re doing clearly communicates the RIGHT things, they can actually do whatever they want, and still not screw things up.

In other words, if you don’t understand how ATTRACTION works, and you don’t know how to communicate with women in a way that makes them feel it for YOU, then buying drinks and dinner, and giving compliments, and all the other things most guys do will only BACKFIRE.

On the other hand, once you totally understand how and why women feel ATTRACTION, you can do whatever you want.

And later on, when you find a girl that you really like and you’re enjoying a relationship, of course it’s nice to do nice things for her.

Just remember, be very careful.

It’s easy to be lured back to the dark side… and to try to get women to like you by paying for things and taking them places… which it will never do.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

I just finished reading your latest newsletter and I had a thought that I wanted to share. You talked a lot about guys chasing women and showering them with gifts to buy their love.   Well, I have a common sense point to make to any of your readers that may be on the fence about buying your materials.

Before I purchased your book, I had doubts because I wasn’t sure it would be worth the money.   To put it into perspective, I thought about all the girls I dated in the past.   Then I roughly added up all the money I had spent on each for dinner, gifts, etc.   (Yes, I know, that was wussy behavior). Well, after totaling up the money, I realized I could have bought all your materials (book, CD and DVD series) for myself and five of my close friends and still had money left over (Yes, I spent that much money on women in the past.   I know, that was bad). Point is, to any guy (or girl) out there, take the money you’re wasting chasing some girl and buy Dave’s book or CD/DVD series.   It’s worth it.

Now to my question.   I know this is getting long but I gave you a plug so you owe me.   Have you taken any courses or read any books on conversation skills? Can you recommend any books on the subject and also on the subject of body language? Thanks,

AG in PA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You’re right-on about one thing…

If most guys added up all the money they’ve WASTED on women, they’d realize what a BAD investment they’ve made (and what a great investment my stuff is! I like your idea… I’m going to tell every guy to get my materials for them and all their friends from now on. Nice!)

The best books I’ve ever read on conversation skills are COMEDY books. I like the book “Comedy Writing Secrets” by Helitzer.

And as far as body language books go, I haven’t found any that I can recommend. The book “Body Language” by Fast, has some interesting stuff in it… but most of it is hard to really grasp.

One of the biggest problems I ran into when I was first learning how to meet women was that things didn’t make sense… and things that “should” work DIDN’T work.

When it comes to women and ATTRACTION the normal rules don’t apply anymore. This area of life is VERY DIFFERENT from other areas, and when you try to apply ideas and techniques from other areas (like conversation skills), you’ll find that they often don’t work AT ALL.

You can walk into a room full of 100 people, and start walking around meeting them.

For 99 of them, walking over and saying, “Hi, how do you know everyone here?” and “So, what do you do?” will work just fine.

But when you find that ONE attractive woman in the room that you’d like to meet, and you want to start an interaction that leads to ATTRACTION, you must do something TOTALLY different.

It’s more than the words you say… it’s a total understanding of what that woman is looking for on a deep, primal, subconscious level… and then to BE that man.

***COMMENT***

Dave,

Sometimes I have to just stop in the middle of your newsletters and take a break because the stuff you deliver is so good that I feel a little overwhelmed… killer stuff!   I love the ebook and CD collection.   I will send some details later.

You really do more good in the lives you touch then you know.   I hope you can truly appreciate that statement and all that it means.   We should all be so fortunate to have such a positive impact on a single life… let alone the many that you influence.

Best regards, E. Chicago, IL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yes, someone give me a trophy… or a medal or something.

I really am a wonderful guy, huh?

Trust me, if you had this much fun doing what I’m doing, you’d do it, too…

***QUESTION***

Hi Dave

I’ve been receiving your free newsletter for a few months now and just wanted to say that I’ve found much of what you’ve written   to be helpful, insightful, and most of all funny!   Like a lot of other guys I’ve spent a LOT of time trying to learn how to impress and have success with women, and I like to think that I’ve come quite a long way from the needy, desperate wussy-man I used to be   (and still am on occasion, admittedly).

My question involves one of the ‘testing’ behaviors you described in a previous newsletter. You said that one way women often test men is by canceling plans at the last minute, or by flaking out altogether with little or no notice.   I’ve had this happen to me numerous times and I always assumed these girls were just being careless or inconsiderate… or worse yet, ignoring me in the hopes that I would “get the message” and walk away, without them having to go thru the awkwardness of outright rejecting me!

It never occurred to me that they might be doing it intentionally, and then taking note of my response in order to see if I passed some kind of test.   Is that really what’s going on?   And if so, how do I pass the test?   What is a woman looking for in this type of situation?

Thanks, T

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, it is true that women use things like this to test men… but it’s ALSO true that women do things like this because they want to AVOID CONFRONTATION.

In other words, a woman will sometimes make plans with a guy just to avoid saying “no” in the moment.

But later, she’ll flake or cancel because “something came up”… when she never intended to show up in the first place.

If women are flaking out on you a lot, it’s probably something that YOU’RE doing up front.

In any case, try this:

Next time you’re talking to a woman on the phone and making plans to get together for tea say, “Let me ask you a quick question. Do you ever flake out on things?”

She’ll say, “Not usually” (or some other non-committal thing, most likely).

Say, “Good, because it’s one of those things that I really can’t deal with… people that can’t keep their word…and there are a lot of flaky people in this world.”

That might help.

And if she DOES flake at the last minute, don’t accept it.

If she calls and says, “Oh, something came up…” just answer back, “You know, I was just starting to think you were DIFFERENT from all the flaky women I’ve met”…

Make it clear to women that it is NOT OK to waste your time and they’ll waste it less.

But, if you act nice and sweet and accommodating… and you transmit the message that it’s OK to flake because you’re a nice guy and won’t care, then it will happen to you all the time.

***QUESTION***

hey dave,

i need an answer to a question that has confused the hell out of me. well, i received a bunch of red roses for valentines day from my girlfriend of about 2 months now. i gave her 2 roses, a small teddy bear thing and a short card with a bit of c+f talk. i figured that i had made a bit of a mistake by buying her this much, but when i gave it all to her she looked so happy and told me that SHE owed ME bigtime for what i had done. the rest of the day i had no problems with kissing her or anything else. my question is, why havent i been seen as a wuss to her? i know that in most other scenarios, buying this much stuff would have got me nowhere.

by the way, your research and advice is all spot on. its helped me to attract loads of girls, including my current girlfriend. thanks and keep up the great work mate.

S, AUSTRALIA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah!

The reason she said that she “owes you big time” is because of the WAY you did it.

When you incorporate the attitude into all of your communication with women, it has a HUGE impact.

The fact that you:

1) Did something thoughtful (the card, two flowers, etc.)

2) AND you said Cocky & Funny things in the card

…clearly communicated that you were NOT doing this because you wanted to kiss up to her and get her approval.

One of the greatest things you can do is EVERY time you do something nice for a girl and she THANKS you for it say, “Yeah, you owe me” in a sarcastic tone.

Then, later, get her to pay up.

Personally, I like massages.

There’s something magical about always putting a high value on yourself, your time, and your attention. If you put a high value on it, women will too.

…and a couple of final thoughts…

There are two KEY aspects of learning how to be successful with women and dating:

1) The Inner Game

2) The Outer Game

The INNER GAME is all about learning how to THINK and how to manage your thoughts and emotions. It’s also about understanding how and why attractive women feel that amazing emotion called ATTRACTION for some men and not for MOST men.

The OUTER GAME is all of the techniques, what to say and such.

Which is more important?

Well, they’re BOTH important.

But what I notice is that most guys want to learn the OUTER GAME first.

In other words, they want the pick up lines, the fancy tricks, and other things.

I can remember when I first started learning this stuff.

I had this idea in my mind that if I could learn how to get women to give me their numbers that I’d be the MAN.

Well, I learned that. I can get just about any woman’s phone number in just a few minutes.

But guess what?

Once I learned how to get women’s phone numbers, I ran into a much BIGGER issue… the women usually flaked out on me, didn’t show up, etc.

And the ones that DID show up were difficult.

Nothing happened.

I realized that there had to be more.

And, as it turns out, there is. A LOT more, in fact.

The REASON that the “Inner Game” is so important is that attractive women don’t judge you on your “pick up lines”.

And just because a woman gives you her phone number or email address DOES NOT mean that she FEELS anything inside (like ATTRACTION).

Women don’t DECIDE to feel ATTRACTION for a man.

ATTRACTION is something that happens on its own, for its own reasons.

Attraction Isn’t A Choice!

The way to cause women to feel ATTRACTION for you is to UNDERSTAND how and why it works, and then communicate in a way that makes it happen.

And, if you haven’t had a chance to download my eBook Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Womenthen you need to do that now. You can download it and be reading it within a few minutes…

Free Dating Tips For Men

If you’ve tried all kinds of techniques, and nothing seems to “work”, then you need to work on your Inner Game. When you get the inner game together, everything will start to work a LOT better…

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

Dear Dave,

You are an awesome teacher. Since using your material (the e-book and the CDs) I have increase my dating life by many-folds. It has become a lot easier to be Cocky and funny; it feels like second nature at this time and a part of my personality.

I have two questions: One, where can I find old newsletters? I save all your newsletters but I accidentally erased about ten of them from my e-mail account. I really would like to re-read some of them but I cannot find them anywhere on the web.

The second question is: What do you do in a situation where you have set up a coffee date with a woman and she blows you off by not showing up? The problem specifically is how do you react when you see this woman again. I work out in a local gym and had asked one of the personal trainers to coffee. However, I was stood up and I see her everyday. Would you respond by ignoring her (which seems childish and behaving in the immature manner she treated me by not respecting me and my time) or by talking to her ( and thereby acting like a spineless wimp) ? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Disciple in D.C.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I want to answer your question FIRST with another question:

WHOSE PROBLEM IS IT THAT SHE BLEW YOU OFF AND FLAKED?

Hmm.

It all depends on your perspective.

When a woman flakes out on me, I see it as a HUGE mistake that SHE made.

So, if/when I see her again, I shake my head in disappointment and say, “Well, you sure missed out on a good time.”

And then, regardless of what she says (unless her mom died or she lost a leg in a car accident), I just give her the “You’re a flaky woman with no integrity” disappointed look and walk away.

Again I ask you: WHOSE PROBLEM IS IT?

Do you really want to go out with a woman who is flaky?

Don’t let it bother you. Just move on. Many women are flakes.

And to answer your second question about where to find my past newsletters:

Nowhere. You must stay tuned!

***QUESTION***

Dave i just have to say that your CD Audio Series kicks some major ASS!! there IS a god, and in this case it’s you man! i haven’t EVER gotten so much out of any help program such as this one. i absolutely love it and anyone who purchases it will NEVER want their money back! however, i have a question concerning gift ideas for those involved in relationships. i am desperate for gift ideas for my girlfriend that I’ve been dating for 7 months now.

of course, there are also other times that couples should exchange gifts: birthdays, valentine’s day, and the BIG ONE… the one year anniversary! i desperately need help with these as well. what have u gotten your long- term girlfriends for Christmas? their birthday? on valentine’s day? the one year anniversary? I’m the type of guy who just HATES to spend a ton of money but i want to make everything perfect for this girl because we love each other so any ideas on gifts would be greatly appreciated. thanks a million and keep up the good work!

-R.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, as I have to mention EVERY time I answer a “relationship” type question, I DON’T USUALLY DO THIS.

But, you can be my monthly exception…

The reason I like your question is because it calls up another BIGGER ISSUE… and that issue is when and if it becomes appropriate to start doing all the things that I try to get guys NOT to do in the beginning with women (take them out, buy them gifts, give them flowers, etc.).

As it turns out, most men that I know (and most men that I meet and talk to who order my eBook and other products) really WANT TO BE GENEROUS.

In other words, I think that deep down, most of us really want to treat women VERY WELL.

We WANT to do nice, thoughtful things for a special woman, and have her do nice, thoughtful things in return.

Amen?

The problem comes when we go overboard and start using gifts and favors TOO MUCH, and start communicating to the woman that WE ARE OWNED BY HER.

If you’re going to do wonderful things for a woman that you care about, make sure that you do things that MAKE AN IMPACT. And make sure that they AREN’T PREDICTABLE.

If you want to give her a nice gift that doesn’t cost a lot of money then cook her a meal, then give her a massage, and finally wrap up with feeding her fruit in bed… etc.

Women want things that communicate THOUGHTFULNESS. Not that they don’t enjoy diamonds… lol. But if you do something that
says, “I was thinking about you, and I wanted you to have a great experience”, it will make FAR more of an impact than an expensive gift that wasn’t chosen with care.

But, as I mentioned, don’t OVERDO the gifts and favors… don’t ever become PREDICTABLE.

And, interestingly enough, this can be a great test to see how a woman can handle extra-nice treatment. If she starts acting overly demanding and spoiled after you give her a gift of thoughtful experience, then you might have a damaged woman on your hands. Pay attention.

OK, that’s it for my non- relationship relationship ideas.

***QUESTION***

Before you hand me my award for wussiness, know I wasn’t always this way. In fact, I used to date several girls at a time, who were supposed to be prude, and were religious, and managed to get them obsessed with me. My problem is that my ex spent 1.5 years wussifying me. I’m trying to break out of it, but I have so much free time, and so few friends. I started going to the gym, and taking guitar lessons, but I don’t know what else to do!

Every time I get a girl interested, I panic. I’m taking a girl out to lunch Monday before our Accounting final. She is actually a good example. Every time I showed interest in her she got annoyed. I blew her off a few days ago when she walked with me and my friend, Wednesday she was all over me. When I asked her to lunch she already started to seem to lose interest. What do I do? How do I get her to like me in a way that’s not very noticeable? What should I do on Monday?

JC Beverly Hills, CA

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, well I’m still going to hand you the Big Wuss award for this week, man.

What did I hear you say?

That your “Ex” spent 1.5 years wussifying YOU?

No no noooooo…

IT WAS YOU that spent 1.5 years HAPPILY BEING TRAINED AS A WORLD CLASS WUSSY.

You… you… you did it!

Now that we’re back to reality and accepting responsibility for our own behavior, let’s talk about what to do about it.

What the hell are you doing “asking a woman to lunch”?

Haven’t you been paying attention to anything I say?

lol… no, obviously not.

When you “ask a woman out on a date”, you’re basically saying, “Hi, I’m interested in you in a romantic way, and I’d like to buy you some food so you’ll think of me as a wonderful provider, and then maybe we can go out on some more dates that I’ll pay for and then get into a relationship… if I’m lucky and you’ll accept me”.

Duh.

Instead of asking a woman out to lunch tell her, “Hey, I’m going to get a cup of tea. Come along and entertain me. And I don’t mean with that usual boring stuff that you talk about.”

It sounds to me like you’re probably LEANING into women and putting STRANGE EMOTIONAL PRESSURE on them in a very subtle way when you’re “asking them out”.

Stop that!

Lean back, and use what you’re learning here from me.

Your “inner wuss” needs to be evicted!

***QUESTION***

Dave, I’ve been receiving your newsletters for sometime now and have to say a lot of the stuff I read is very useful. Now you need to help me please !!! I’m having real trouble with the whole (spur of the moment) thing. By the time I think of a good thing to say in that particular situation, the moments passed. Here come the examples. About a week ago I was at a club which was quite packed, now im just standing there when I feel someone grab me round the waist, I turn around to see a stunning brunette standing behind me smiling, and what did I say to her, absolutely nothing !!!! Now this is the one im really kicking myself about.

Yesterday I went my barbers only to see that a new girl had started. Stunning blond about 17, you know the type. Anyway, first I caught here looking at me more than a few times, then we exchanged a few smiles. There was quite a long wait to be seen, then the next thing I know she brings me a coffee with a sexy smile, none of the other 10 lads who were in there waiting get one and they all looked quite surprised. I kept on thinking to myself, “im gonna ask her out in a minute” the next thing I know I’ve been done and walking out having not said a word.

I guess your now gonna tell me I need a good hard slap and my head seeing to …. lol But what I need to know is, is it to late to phone up and ask her out, and if I did could I use any of the things that happened, to my advantage using the C&F routine ???

Thanks in advance, keep up the good work !!! P uk

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I have to be honest with you.

You are a dork.

But, the good news is that you’re not alone. I have been in the situations you just mentioned a bazillion times in my past, and I missed probably hundreds of opportunities.

So, this dork virus that you have isn’t terminal.

Here’s exactly what to do next time these things happen:

Say, “Hey, what’s your name?”

Then, after they give it to you say, “Do you have email?”

…and if the answer is “Yes”, then give her a pen and have her write it down!

It’s that easy.

Really.

***QUESTION***

So I’ve tested it, and it works like I wouldn’t have believed. My ex-girlfriend that I’m back with again can’t do much about it…recently, she said with a real smile: “You made fun of me from day one!” with kind of a hint! hint! attitude of “and please do more of that”. If a woman wants to tell you she’s really into you, she’ll normally say ANYTHING but “I really like you” or so. More like “You’re so funny” or “You’re so nasty”, all with a smile. Almost always something in the “You’re so…” category.

Then there’s something else I’ve noticed…

When you talked about how mothers raise boys to be wussies, I gave the “why” a little thought…ever said something fresh or wisecrackish to mom? Generally, you unleash the fire of the dragon about how you’d better never, ever do that again.

How come mothers (and teachers, for that matter) respond so negatively when their sons behave C&F when other girls love it? Well…C&F is disarming and hits women in a spot where they can feel their power over you diminish to zero. And no mother wants a kid who subtly communicates “I don’t give a damn about what you think of me” and such, let alone have a kid who has power over her. No way! As long as he’s the wussy (and not the other way round!), we can play happy family.

Greetings, LM from Liechtenstein

>>>MY COMMENTS:

STOP RIGHT NOW AND REREAD THE ABOVE!

NOW READ IT ONE MORE TIME.

OK, this is good stuff.

Many of us were raised by mom to be nice, sweet, kind, respectful and ASS KISSING to women.

What does this get us?

I don’t need to answer that question because you know as well as I do what it gets us.

Be nice to mom, but don’t treat a woman that you’re interested in the same way you treat her!

***QUESTION***

Hi David,

I’ve read your book, and decided to test the ideas last weekend. I went to a bar with a friend, and pretty soon we were in the company of three women, so I started being cocky and funny and busting their balls. At first it seemed they liked it, but as the night progressed, they started to say ‘you are too much’ or, when another girl came up to us and I advanced to use your tactics on her, they told her ‘watch out’. One girl even called me annoying (never happened to me before). Only one of them, who had a bad girl look, seemed to totally enjoy what I was doing, but on the other hand I didn’t get to talk much to her because first I busted her balls, and when she wanted to smoke, I ordered her to move to the opposite end of the table. She gave me a hug later.

So my conclusion is that being cocky and funny nonstop 100% of the time is overkill. I guess I need to follow some kind of normal conversation, sometimes spicing it up with cocky and funny remarks. Whatdayathink? Thank you,

Nick P. Tallahassee, FL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, the comedy of it all.

So, you went out ONCE and talked to a total of FOUR women… and got some pretty positive overall results…and you’re questioning the entire process.

I’ll tell you what.

Go out 10 times, and talk to 10 women each time you go out. Do this over the next 2-4 weeks, and then report back at the end.

You can’t go out ONCE and then know all there is to know about how women will respond to Cocky & Funny.

You have to practice. You have to get used to it. You have to talk to a bunch of women to see how they all respond differently.

This stuff isn’t magic, but it often works almost as well.

And what were you doing “in the company of three women” for long enough that the night “progressed”?

Why didn’t you just ask all of them for their emails and numbers when you first met them… and then moved on to the next group?

If your answer is, “Well, I wanted to take one of them home with me that night” that’s OK, but I recommend that if you’re not skilled enough to do that on a predictable basis that you GET THE DIGITS AND MOVE ON… you’ll have better overall success that way.

***QUESTION***

David,

Your ebook completely changed the way I have always believed how a man should act when approaching women in order to get her attracted. I used to try so hard to treat women nicely but at the end I turned myself into a big wuss and ended up going nowhere. Sometimes, even now, I am still wondering why the C&F stuff attracts women because I feel like somehow it’s just simply another way of being arrogant except that it’s a little more subtle. I guess it’s just like what you said, things don’t always make sense. As long as it works and gets the result, who cares whether it makes sense or not?

The reason why I am writing you today is because I have two questions that I would like to ask and any advice would be appreciated. The SECOND QUESTION maybe sensitive to some of the readers out there and therefore you may just want to respond privately.

1) Through my experience, I have realized that once a woman has categorized me into the “no” group, it’s impossible to get out of it. Basically I mean the first impression is EXTREMELY important. If I can’t show her my C&F side in the beginning and once I am considered a provider but not a lover, there is NO WAY OUT. I have found that getting a second chance to redeem myself extremely difficult. Is there a way to change a woman’s mind if this is the case?

2) I came from the Far East and I have been living in the U.S. for over 10 years. I noticed that women in this country would date their own men, Hispanics, Europeans and those from the Middle East. However, I rarely, I mean really rarely see an Asian guy dating an American woman over the last so many years. I thought a lot about it and think that this is because many of these people fall into the “Lover” groups you mentioned in one of your books – the Adventurers, Seducers, Artists and Bad Boys.

Meanwhile, my believe is that Asians are typically considered nice guys which means providers. Our culture has been traditionally emphasized on “keep the harmony, don’t be arrogant, give compliments, don’t rock the boat, etc.” and therefore I feel that many us may find the C&F idea difficult to follow due to what we have been taught.

Let’s just say that we get rid of this problem and finally learn how to be C&F, the problem is now how to convince a woman not to stereotype me as a provider before I even open my mouth and have a chance to prove myself. I fear that most of the women out there automatically put me into the “no” or provider category as soon as they see me.

Dave, TX

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, to answer your first question…

I get a TON of email from guys who are looking for the answer to the magic question, “How do I get a woman who I’ve convinced not to like me to give me a second chance?”

The answer is: DON’T. JUST MOVE ON.

It’s not worth the time, effort, and energy.

The best thing you can do is stop calling her, start dating other women, and if you can, make sure she finds out that you’ve moved on.

Get on with your life. And, ironically, that will give you the best chances of her feeling attracted to you again.

To answer your second point…

I have friends of all races, colors, sizes, ages, etc. and I’ve found that looks are SECONDARY.

All other things being equal, a six-foot three guy who is 21 years old, a multi-millionaire, drives a Ferrari, and is famous, will have an easier time meeting women…

But, I have one friend who is about 5′4″ tall, ASIAN, and has an average income who is UNREAL when it comes to meeting women. He’s always surrounded by a group of hot young women who love him.

Why? Because he GETS IT!

And I believe that you can to, no matter what your looks, age, race, etc.

***QUESTION***

So far I’ve read a lot of good advice on how to handle some of the most common situations with women. But one thing still remains a mystery for me: I have the most trouble initiating a conversation and namely one that will lead to getting her number or setting up a date etc. If i see a woman walking down the hall of my college or maybe even at the store, how do I approach her and start a conversation without seeming like just another “jerk” guy who is trying to get her into bed. I would like to meet women and have them be actually attracted to me not just have encounters. I never know what to say, I mean sure I could introduce myself but then what?

And also once the conversation has started, when is a good time to ask for a number? How much conversation is a good amount or what type of “level” should a conversation reach so that she will feel comfortable about giving her number out? Generally I like having friends introduce me to someone because it gives me a good starting point and we both have something in common to talk about: a mutual friend.

And once it gets rolling I have no problems, even though I am not the best looking guy. As you said in your last letter even regular guys benefit from this and its true I am average at about everything but I have my share of women. Initiating conversations with women I don’t know or any of my friends know is the toughest for me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and keep up the good work!

JS Chicago, IL

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Good question.

This is a question that is top- of-mind for just about every single adult male on the planet, by the way.

So, first I have to pick apart the WAY you asked the question.

Then I’ll give you some ideas…

I noticed that you wrote:

“…how do I approach her and start a conversation without seeming like just another “jerk” guy who is trying to get her into bed…”

Do you think that most women are approached a lot in the hall or at stores by “jerk guys who are trying to get them into bed”?

And it also sounds to me like you have the concepts of “jerk” and “wanting to get her into bed” linked together in your mind.

In my experience, a woman won’t think of you as a “jerk” unless either:

1. She’s dating you, you’re abusive, and she can’t figure out why she can’t bring herself to break up with you.

2. You’re the kind of guy that OBVIOUSLY has no game at all whatsoever, but you’re trying to talk to her in a sexually suggestive way.

Are you with me here?

Women don’t automatically think of regular guys who stop them in the hall or at the bookstore as “jerks”.

And this is ESPECIALLY true if you’re interesting, charming, and comfortable with yourself.

You feel me?

So the first thing you need to do is STOP USING YOUR WONDERFUL, CREATIVE IMAGINATION TO LIMIT YOURSELF!

I know MANY guys that approach women all the time… in the hall, in the store, at clubs, on the Internet, and every other place on the planet… and I’ve heard of VERY, VERY few instances where something bad came of it.

And, in fact, the worst I’ve EVER heard of is having a drink thrown in your face or a slap.

I’ve never heard of:

1. Permanent bodily injury

2. Death

3. Irreparable damage to self esteem

(Although I’m sure that some dumb-ass somewhere on the planet has figured out a way to have one of these things happen to him as a result of approaching a woman… and he probably deserved it, at that.)

The point is that if you start a conversation with a woman, IT’S GOING TO BE OK.

And, if you do it in an interesting, charming way there’s a VERY good chance that a woman will give you her name and email/number.

And, if you DON’T start talking to her, then the chances are very close to ZERO that you’ll get her email/number.

Here, try this:

Next time you walk by a girl in the hall, look her right in the eye and give her a slight smile.

Then say, “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

When she stops and says, “Sure”, say:

“Are you single?”

If she asks, “Why?” say:

“Well, I know someone who I think would REALLY find you attractive. He’s nice, funny, interesting… and I think you might like him.” And smile in a knowing way as you say all of this, hinting that you might be talking about yourself.

Then ask, “Do you have email?”

If she asks if you’re talking about yourself, just look at her and say, “Maybe”.

Get her email and say, “I’ll have him email you”. Then walk away.

This is a fun way to start a conversation, and the direct “Are you single?” question really throws women off balance for a moment.

There are an unlimited number of ways to start conversations with women, and I recommend that you check out some of my products for more great info.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

I just have one simple question for you. Since women are not attracted to wussies…why the hell do our mothers raise us to act this way and tell us that this is what girls want in a man?

MCH

Detroit, MI

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, as we discussed in an earlier Q&A, your mom wasn’t ATTRACTED to you, dude.

At least I hope not.

Whatever.

LISTEN: Your mom probably can’t even REMEMBER what it’s like to feel a GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for a man, and even if she CAN remember it, she’s not going to be able to EXPLAIN TO YOU HOW TO DO IT.

Moms have experience.

They know that guys who arouse sexual passions in a woman are usually BAD NEWS, and they don’t want you to turn out that way.

Moms universally give HORRIBLE advice to sons on how to make women feel ATTRACTION for them.

I could go on, but I think you get my point.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Hey Dave, *bowing “We’re Not WORTHY !! * :-)

I have always had a good funny streak, but was always Mr. Chivalry and then wondering why I had so many “friends” but no “dates”. They “say” thats what they “want”, but now I know better!! Plus I was always down on myself because I have a hereditary skin condition that sometimes flares and looks really bad. (but I have since found out, using this material, they really don’t care once they find out it isn’t contagious !! :-) ).

Been getting your newsletters for a couple months now. I don’t know which one of my buddies signed me up for them, but if I ever find out, Ill buy him a round!! They must have known this was EXACTLY what I NEEDED!! :-) Mucho Grassyass to both You and whoever it was that signed me up!! I have been putting to good use what info comes out of the newsletters, and I’ve gone from sitting at home on Friday and Saturday nights to forgetting that I had 2 or 3 lined up on the same night and having to cancel one or more. Ooops ! I’m just not used to having to “schedule” women :-)

I thought I would write in on how knowing how to “recognize” BEING A WUSS does have its advantages!

A few weeks ago I started dating this one gal – a 6, maybe 7, but an 8 personality. She started to get all clingy and calling all the time, but I don’t have time to sit on the phone with non-customers (not getting paid) all day. She was starting to get annoying. But I don’t have a mean bone in my body, enough to tell her to scram.

I had a slow week coming up, I remembered everything from the newsletters, and decided to use it OPPOSITE of the intended purpose. I started calling HER all the time, stopping by her work bringing her lunch, would call and ask if I could come over in the evenings, etc. When we did go out, I would purposely act like I didn’t care where we went, and made her decide.

Basically, to quote words of THE master, “THE ULTIMATE WUSS BAG” !! I mean, I poured it on worse than before I started getting the newsletters, because I NOW KNEW what to do and HOW to do it!

Well, Dave (and anyone else reading), it worked like a charm!! She started saying how different we were and that maybe I should date other women as well. When I heard that line, I knew I was on my way to FREEDOM!! :-) Another day or so of it, to make sure it “took hold”, and haven’t talked to her since. And I’m betting she is not upset in the least.

Now I’m back to my same old problem though: I have 3 women – maybe a 4th (an ex GF from a few months ago, who basically dumped me cuz I was a wus, has started calling again…roflmao) lined up for this Saturday. But as the old adage goes – “Better to have too much than not enough”, right? :-) (I think Ill cancel the ex’s, just to show her what “she got rid of”..lol )

I do think I need to invest in a PDA, though, before I get your CD’s/DVD’s and REALLY get myself into serious trouble :-)

Thanks for all the great stuff! KTF Austin, TX

P.S. I told my one buddy your line “Give her the gift of missing you”, and Im pretty sure he has now signed up and may be getting your book soon! :-) Cheers!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!

My friends and I make jokes about doing this all the time… but you actually did it!

This is totally out of control.

Of course, as soon as you started acting like a total Wussy, she stopped liking you.

What else would she do?

lol… this great stuff. Thanks for the letter.

***QUESTION***

Sup Dave..

I’ve been getting your newsletter for a couple of months now, and I must admit the material is 100 proof. I’ve always been pretty decent with women, but never consistent. It wasn’t till I started reading your stuff, that I realized there’s a formula to this.

OK, quick question. Thanks to your material, I’ve stepped up my game and hooked up with a 9.5 (physically)… who actually “gets it”. I mean this girl can go toe to toe with the best at c&f…and this makes for an unbelievable connection. I almost lost her several times, due to that wuss urge…but thanks to your material I’ve always recovered and managed to stay pretty much in control of things.

My question is..now that things are going good, how do I get her to show more initiative. She’s willing to do pretty much anything I suggest, but getting her to initiate plans is a rarity. Same goes with physical contact, she’s down for whatever.. but I’m always the one to get it started. Don’t get me wrong, by no means am I overwhelming her with date proposals, or affection…but I’m at a point where I want her to “stroke my ego” a little by making the first move, and making a brother feel desired. I’m sure plenty of readers out there can relate (hopefully I’m not the only one). I’m not asking for a magic word or anything, but there has to be some solution here.. this girl has definitely got long term potential (I know, not your area)..but this nonchalant thing is working my last nerves. An answer to this question would take my game to the next level. What say you??

N. Roms Brooklyn, NY

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, if things are going so well, then who cares about “her showing initiative”?

It’s attractive to women when a man leads, so if it’s working for you, then keep it up.

Just don’t overdo it!

Lean back, and give her space in between.

Remember, if she’s a “9.5″, then she gets offers ALL THE TIME from men, and she is completely used to the idea of men offering her things, calling her, etc.

It might just be that her model of the world revolves around this idea.

Just keep doing what works!

***QUESTION***

David-

Soon after I began receiving your mailbags (6 months ago) I purchased your ebook. I was inspired to buy it after having success with the tips in the mailbags. You have absolutely changed the way I view women and dating. I was completely blown away by the success I had after integrating your theories about the concept of attraction into my lifestyle.

I used to be nervous and timid (a wuss bag) around women, but with your help I have learned to interact with women on a level that I never thought possible. I have found that when I interact with women in this way (C/F, confident, etc.), they go through a few stages: First, THEY are the ones who become nervous, etc., as if this is something that they have NEVER experienced before.

After this first “shock” stage, they become VERY intrigued. Naturally following this, attraction sets in. From here, I decide whether or not I would like to intensify the attraction (is this a woman I would like to date, or is she just good practice?). If I decide that yes, I am interested in this woman, I lead them into “stage three”, wherein I continue to use your techniques and they continue to feel attraction for me. Using this formula, I attracted a woman that I decided was worth dating.

We are now in a relationship, and I am very much into her (she is emotionally stable, always honest with me, and not to mention stunningly beautiful) but I have a couple problems. Often times, she gives me signals that she does not feel secure in the relationship, as if I am about to drop her at any moment for another girl. Perhaps this is because I don’t at all hang on her, and I talk about other women. Although I do these things, part of me wants to tell her that I love her and I absolutely do not want out of the relationship. How can I relay this to her without

A) looking like a wussie, or B) giving her power in the relationship?

Also, should I continue to talk about other women around her, which makes her jealous, or am I being manipulative? I have found this to be very effective, but I do not always feel good about it. I realize that you do not often talk about relationships, but any insights you have would be very much appreciated. You truly are a pioneer in this field.

-T, minnesota

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, I’m going to address this one because it’s also relevant to guys who have only gone out with a woman a few times and the woman is acting this way (insecure, etc.).

A few observations:

1. INSECURITY is a problem that SHE ALREADY HAS. It just so happens that your behaviors are allowing you to see it sooner than most guys would.

2. It’s ALMOST ALWAYS good when the woman you’re dating knows that other women are attracted to you.

3. You should not change your behavior to suit a woman. In other words, if it’s natural for you to talk to women, then talk to them. If you’re ONLY doing it to make her jealous, then this is probably an insecure behavior on YOUR part.

I’ve personally found that if I start to tell a woman, “Oh, baby, you’re the only one for me and I want to be with you forever and ever, and you should feel secure in the relationship no matter what” that the only thing it accomplishes is her seeing me as a Wuss Bag.

If she isn’t secure in herself, then she’s not going to be secure in the relationship… and there’s probably not much you can do about that except hope that she grows out of it.

I think that most of us KNOW where the line is between “reassuring the woman we love that we’re in this for the long term” and “giving up our power”.

Just don’t cross the line.

***COMMENT***

Dave,

I am in the process of purchasing your book but I can tell you before hand that this stuff works. I’m buying because I haven’t been as successful as I would like. I’ll give you two quick examples attesting that your system works. The 1st is happened in a jazz club I would frequent when I lived in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. I started talking to a girl at the bar & was my usual C&F self. I was giving her a real rash of s..t. & she was returning it.

After about an hour, because I felt I was being too tough on her I said, “Let’s start over. Hi. My name is ….. What’s yours”. I knew I had made a mistake when she looked at me strange & said, “And I was just getting to like you”. Then mumbled something about how she was ready to cook me dinner. I ended up flunking the test.

The second time was with a girl that worked in my off. I worked days, her on the night shift. The boss told me how great looking she was so I decided to stay late one night & find out. He was right. She was gorgeous with a awesome bod. However, she came in one night wearing a huge pear shaped diamond on her wedding ring finger so I assumed that meant, “I’m taken”.

The next night, no ring, & blouse unbuttoned more than I expected giving me a wonderful sight. She finally agreed to see an outdoor jazz concert & I was my usual sarcastic self. On the 3rd date she told me she said how she hated me the 1st time we dated because I was so sarcastic but the more we dated the more she liked me but then said, “but I’m not ready to go to bed”. I said, “Have I been pressuring you”? She said, “No. You’re different & besides that , you make me laugh”. Problem, I thought my position was secure & I turned into Mr. Wus. & lost out. This is a girl I never would have asked out normally because she was so good looking & sexy. We’re not kids either. I was 49, her 42. It took me years to see what I have been doing wrong, & no matter what women say, they don’t want a “NICE” guy. Now with your help I will be able to improve my strategy.

Thanks R. C. Houston, TX

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Oh, good choice getting my book.

I’ll tell you – women LOVE it when you’re challenging, funny, and charming… and they don’t quite know what’s happening.

When you do the old “I just want to tell you seriously that all this Cocky & Funny stuff is just play and I actually like you and want to take you out” thing, you INSTANTLY kill the sexual tension in the situation.

This is another way of communicating. You can’t all-of-a-sudden stop and say, “Let’s start over. Hi, my name is Mr. Wussy, what’s yours?”

Oh, and NEVER ask, “Have I been pressuring you?” That REALLY makes you sound like a world-class Girly Man.

When you find something that works, KEEP DOING IT!

***QUESTION***

David:

I just purchased your Advanced Series; I can’t wait to listen to it.

I recently saw firsthand what being cocky around a woman can do. I was at a party with some people from my work, and I started talking with this one girl (Actually, she started talking to me). Anyway, she was telling me how she had to wear a different dress because the zipper got stuck on the other one. A friend of mine who will say anything to anyone at anytime then asked her “Why, because your ass is too big?” Now, I would never think of saying such a thing, and she seemed a bit appalled at first, but guess who she proceeded to talk to the rest of the night? Oh, by the way, he also told her he liked “the dye in her hair.”

I have one question for you: I met a girl at a party on a Halloween weekend. I made a joke about her costume, she played along with it, then when I told her I was leaving she voluntarily gave me her number. I called her twice, but she didn’t return my calls. In the meantime, I was trying to set up a date with another girl who promptly answered my calls, but let’s just say she looked a lot better at the club with the lights down low. So now I want to call the hot one, but I don’t want to look stupid because I waited so long. What do you think?

Thanks, J San Diego

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ha!

I have to say, it takes game to look a woman right in the eye and ask, “Why, because your ass is too big?” LOL!

I’ve done similar things, but you’d better make sure that it’s funny.

Not for the weak of heart!

And to answer your question about calling the cute girl back.

Look, in the book, “The Rules” (the one that teaches women how to play games to get a man to marry them), the authors recommend that women NOT call men, and RARELY return their calls.

So, don’t worry about it.

Some guys don’t like to call women more than once or twice, but I ask you this:

What is there to lose?

If you have to call her once a week for five weeks until you get a hold of her, what have you wasted?

Five extra minutes dialing the phone?

So what?

Now, if you’re feeling like a needy little puppy, and you’re calling her five times A DAY trying to get a hold of her, that’s a different story.

As long as you’re getting on with your life, keeping busy, and dating other women, then keep trying until you reach her.

I’ll personally keep calling a woman until either:

1. She tells me to stop calling her (which has never happened)

2. I get too busy to care anymore (which happens all the time)

3. I set up a meeting with her

You’re getting this stuff down, so keep at it!

And if you’re reading this right now and thinking to yourself “Wow, It’s REALLY time that I got this area of my life together… and learned how to be more successful with women and dating…” then I have five words for you:

YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT IT IS.

OK, technically that might be six words.

Here’s what I recommend:

FIRST, go and download yourself a copy of my online eBook Double Your Dating.

Inside Double Your Dating I’m going to introduce you to all of the main ideas and key techniques that I learned and developed over several YEARS of working to figure this stuff out for MYSELF.

The new Second Edition has been updated and improved, and now has “Action Step Chapter Summaries” at the end of each chapter… so you can review quickly once you’ve read the book. Think about it this way: You can review a couple of chapters worth of main concepts in just a few minutes… before going out, before a date, etc. Very valuable.

You can go and download it to your computer RIGHT NOW and be reading it within a few minutes. It’s here:

Free Dating Tips For Men

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

Hi Dave,

I just bought the advanced CD series & it’s amazing what a difference they make over the book. Being able to listen on the way to work, whilst out doing chores, etc. is cool. I can feel the confidence building inside me, it’s like my own personal coach.

The C&F doesn’t come naturally to me at present so I’ve taken your advice and am using the internet as a ‘woman simulator’ in order to practice. I’ve had mixed results so far, I think a few took the teasing the wrong way as some of them would suddenly stop replying.

I must be better at the C&F than I thought though. The first time I went on this site I was chatting to a few girls and one of them ended up giving me her mobile and asking if we could go for coffee before I had chance to.

Anyway my question: You suggest that a date should simply be ‘tea & stimulating conversation’, which for all of the reasons you give makes perfect sense to me. But once I’ve done the tea & conversation with this girl, do you have any suggestions for other dates where I can come across as the ‘lover’ instead of the ‘provider’. The only one where I wouldn’t end up having to shell out (buy her stuff) that I can think of is a walk along the river or something, but that’s rather dependant on the weather.

Thanks for changing my life.

AIB – London, UK

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, well you’re welcome for the “changing your life” thing. Glad to help.

Now, you’re kind of mixing up a couple of concepts that I never intended to “depend” on one another…

If you want to know where to take a woman for dates, that shouldn’t be confused with whether or not you come across as a “lover” personality, and not a “provider” personality to her.

Let me ask you something… what is a “date”?

What do you think that the purpose of a “date” is?

Now, I call my material Double Your Dating, but what I DON’T mean is “take women out to dinner twice as much as you used to”.

The word “Dating” is simply a word that all of us guys understand to mean “romantic interactions with women”.

So I use it.

But if you want to have more romantic interactions with women, that does NOT mean that you need to “take women out on dates” in order to do it.

Are you with me?

I mean, what do couples do a year after they get together…?

They stay home most of the time, do normal things like go shopping, and generally behave like they did before they met.

This whole “going out to dinner” ritual is really an amazing concept.

It’s awesome how powerful it is… and how guys really believe that they need to do it (or similar things) in order to get a woman’s attention in a romantic way.

Here’s the bottom line:

If you want a woman to think of you as a “lover”, then BE ONE.

If you want her to think of you as a provider, then just BE ONE.

What you haven’t quite realized fully yet is that when you know how to trigger ATTRACTION in a woman, all the “normal” rules go away.

If a woman feels that powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you, then she’ll do ANYTHING with you… just to be in your presence and have your attention.

If you have dialed up the ATTRACTION, then all you need to say is “come over here”.

No dates required.

Now, if you buy her dinner 10 times, call her 3 times a day, and chase her around, then it will be EXPECTED that you continue this pattern… and provide for her.

NOTE: If you’re buying a woman dinner twice a week, giving her flowers, calling her every day, and basically “chasing” her, then you can be about 80% sure that there’s another guy in the picture… but guess what? He’s the one who SHE calls, and he’s the one who says “Come over later, I’m busy now”… no dates required.

If you want to be a LOVER to a woman, then DO IT.

You don’t need to wait until the third time out for coffee or tea.

You’ll learn that ATTRACTION doesn’t have a timeline.

It happens VERY QUICKLY, if you know how to trigger it… and you don’t need a lot of “date ideas” once you do.

And now that I’ve avoided your question for a page or two, let me answer with this:

I often take women to do “regular” things with me. I’ll take them to the grocery store to shop with me, out to the mall to pick things up, and down to the bookstore to buy a book.

First, start BEING the LOVER immediately.

Then, notice how women DON’T CARE what you do together, as long as she’s with you.

***SUCCESS STORY***

David, Just wanted to say that after reading your material, I experienced a mental shift. I now see situations in terms of: was I self-referenced (C & F Man) or externally referenced (wussie boy)? It is now very clear that success in anything comes to leaders not followers and women hate dealing with followers. For example look at little boys dealing with little girls when they are playing together. They boss them around, make them play by their rules and those girls grow up expecting men to lead them. Just watch any John Garfield or Lee Marvin movie. Leaders get the girl, wussies get to be used and discarded. I’ve made my choice.

Thanks David E from Chi

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Good. Now help me get the word out to the other 3 billion guys on the planet.

You’re right. Women don’t like men who are FOLLOWERS.

Women aren’t ATTRACTED to men who are FOLLOWERS.

But guess what? Most men FOLLOW anyway.

Thanks for reminding us that we need to LEAD.

Leading creates ATTRACTION. Following creates the curious dry feeling.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave– I definitely have to give it to you. You are “da shizznitt”,lol. Your DYD dvd series has really changed my entire life. I now feel like I am in control of “My World”. I was a little hesitant about buying your product… but I just said “What the Hell…What can I loose???” I am military and in my spare time I am a bartender. You know what that means… I see females out the izzass, lol. I was working one night and a female came up to one of my fellow bartenders to order something and while getting her drink… she asked told him… “all these guys are staring at me. Do you think i’m cute?”

Now normally if I were in his shoes and hadn’t learned what you taught me… I would have melted and told her that she was the finest thing to step foot on this base… case in point…that was what he said. He just bent down unzipped his pants and practically handed her his nuts. Hence, herhands being the nutcracker. I interrupted them while he was “dazed and confused” and told her “Actually they’re looking at that big pimple on your forehead. She stopped and turned towards me and laughed and hit me on the arm. Then I told her not to get mad cuz I was cuter than she. She smiled and for some odd reason… she could not keep herself away from the bar. I just pretended that she was one of my friends that I tease all the time and just called her on everything that she did. Man… I couldn’t believe that she was really eating this up!!!

The other bartender that she was talking to first, couldn’t believe that I was doing this!!! He…. for some odd reason didn’t GET what was going on… It was like jets flying over his head. And to show that his nuts belonged to her… he just kept trying to compliment her. She just glanced at him smiled and quickly turned her head to pay him no mind. I got her e-mail and number and she has been like putty in my hands for the past three months. I have to give it to you, Dave. You da man!!! I’m not a selfish person…so I gave him your e-mail address and hopefully he’ll get your system and realize what he’s been doing wrong. I should give him her e-mail address so that he can ask for his balls back,lol. But… for those who have doubts about Dave’s system… I’m living proof of success.

Thanks Dave!!! JR – Mexico

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, first of all, I think that you must have some kind of bizarre NUT OBSESSION, dude.

And it’s not right.

But hey, fortunately you’re on the right side of the “don’t hand them over” equation, so everything seems like it might be all right for you.

You’ve given some great examples of how to get an attractive woman’s attention, tease her, and play with her to “spark” that initial sexual tension and “chemistry”.

Now make sure you keep it up so you’re not writing me in 3 more months with the “She used the Trojan Horse De-Nutting Technique” on me.

***QUESTION***

Hey Man, What has happened to women’s standards? All the beautiful babes with no neck dorks! I am a good looking guy and I can’t even get a phone number. They go out with guys that weigh like 300 lbs and dress like slobs. I wear nice clothes and drive a nice car and I can’t get a single date. Maybe it is where I live. In order to get a date I will have to gain 200 lbs and have someone break my nose so I am ugly enough for some girl to date me. American girls suck! They have no taste anymore! I give up!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

No, I think that the problem is that you whine like a whipped Biatch.

Women can smell a “victim” attitude 100 miles away, and it IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.

Women’s “standards” are just fine.

The problem isn’t them, it’s YOU.

Now do yourself a favor and quit ACTING like a little girl, and DO SOMETHING about your situation.

What, do you think that all the average and ugly guys out there who have HOT girlfriends are getting them by being ugly?

The answer is “No, they’re not”.

These guys are getting the babes because they know how to make the women feel ATTRACTION.

Trust me, I know quite a few guys who are NOT exactly the picture of “handsome”… but these guys get a lot of women.

Why?

Because they KNOW HOW.

Now quit whining, and go LEARN.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dear Dr. D,

Just wanted to drop you a quick note. I am a 34 year old and divorced using your E-book to learn how to get back into the game. Since I was raised by my parents to be a nice guy, submissive, wussy, it has been a challenge to overcome these self-destructive traits—but I am gaining ground every day. Also, I don’t have any natural ability for C&F. For the most part I am quiet and reserved—-so I have needed to re-train myself in that area also. You have given me a good start by explaining attraction and what women want.

I want to stress the importance of “practice”. It’s the only way to quickly improve your inner and outer game. What has helped me is practicing on an old girlfriend. I am sure many of your students like me have a woman that just won’t let you go from an old relationship. So, I have not completely ended it for sex and companionship and she keeps me around for sex and emotional support.

Anyway—to my amazing weekend: Saturday, I went out with the old girlfriend and busted on her and challenged her on many issues all night. My old self would have shut up and zoned out—not this time. I didn’t put up with any of her nonsense. It ended at my place and we had an amazing double session. She is now hooked more than ever even though she knows I am seeing other people. She can’t help herself. I have triggered the attraction mechanism and more importantly I know what I did to accomplish that.

Sunday I spent the day with a cute girl who had responded to my internet ad. We had only been out once before. I played the game—didn’t act overly sexually interested, just enough….I used the C&F when I could, but basically kept cool. She offered to pay our lunch/cocktail bill. My old self would have foolishly denied her offer—thinking I was the man, thinking I was being chivalrous (how foolish ;). This time I accepted without hesitation. Once back at my place I used the start and stop technique. I would get her hot, then I would back off. She would stop my hand from reaching too far so I decided that I wasn’t going to push it and that tonight might not be “the night” with her so I was very relaxed.

At 10:00 she was getting ready to leave. We started making out while saying goodbye—-next thing I know , we were in the bedroom. It was amazing. The fun lasted all night. Today I am tired with a smile on my face. I know it worked out because I put the proper groundwork in place. By turning my sexual advances on and then off—–it really got to her. Acting as if I was evaluating her…the whole thing. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction, I am starting to get it!!! Literally ;)

C Fort Lauderdale, Fl

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yea, you really are starting to GET IT.

And you are RIGHT ON.

This stuff takes practice and real-world experience using it before you really “get it”.

Too many guys are just too damned overly-analytical, and want to know how to do EVERYTHING before they do ANYTHING.

I used to be this way… and it cost me a lot of time and energy.

It’s so amazing to actually get out there and SEE results right in front of your eyes. It gets you excited and willing to try more things… and it prepares you for the future… for situations that are REALLY important.

Get out there and use this stuff.

Start NOW.

***QUESTION***

Dave, What does it mean when a woman says she wants to “work on herself” before she can have a relationship?

>>>MY COMMENTS:

The literal translation for this is:

“I DON’T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU, BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU WITHOUT HURTING YOUR LITTLE WUSSY BOY GIRLIE FEELINGS.”

Any of the following:

“I need time alone right now.”

“I need to find me first.”

“Let’s just be friends for now.”

…etc. mean:

“I DON’T FEEL ATTRACTION.”

That’s the bottom line.

The problem is YOU, not HER.

Don’t be surprised if this same girl either IS or STARTS dating another guy seriously soon.

If you’re hearing this kind of thing often, then you need to take it as a sign that you’re not triggering ATTRACTION inside of women… and, more importantly, that you need to LEARN HOW.

I recommend my Advanced Dating Techniques Program.

This will help eliminate these types of comments from women once and for all.

Here, let me brag for a minute…

I’m sitting here thinking about it, and I can’t remember a woman saying one of these things to me in YEARS.

***QUESTION***

Mr. Dave!

You are the man! I have been getting your emails for about 8 months now I belive and have read your book! Just yesterday I was in the store looking at CD’s and I noticed these two beautiful girls walking around and they would constantly look over towards me. As I wandered around the store more I noticed that they seemed to always show up wherever I was. So I stopped them and asked the girl that I was more attracted to “Excuse me but i’m going to have to ask you to stop stalking me.” She looked at her friend like ‘What is this boy talking about’ and then she asked me for my name.

I immediately answered “Do you really think i’m just going to give my name out to a stalker?” once again she looked like she couldn’t believe I was talking to her this way. We talked about five more minutes and then I told her I had to go. She asked me if I wanted her number so we could continue the conversation. I pretended to think about it and then told her “I’m sorry but I’m just going to be way too busy to find time to call you. So If you promise to stop stalking me i’ll give you my number and you can try and catch me when I have a few minutes of free time to talk.” She eagerly took my number and when I got home about an hour later she had already left a message on my machine to see if I could go out with her this weekend!

I was so happy because I was curious too see if I reversed the three minute phone number to give away my number instead of getting hers would work and it did! Anyway on to my question. As I stated this girl was with a friend at the store who was also very attractive and was there the whole time I was hitting up her friend. Is there anyway in these situations where you can get both girls numbers?

AF- AK

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Nice “reverse stalker” move.

I say things like this to women all the time, and they generally love it.

To answer your question, YES, there’s an easy way to get both girls’ phone numbers.

ASK.

Then call and ask them BOTH to come join you for a cup of tea.

Kill two birds with one stone.

Then, over tea you can decide which one you like more.

I’ve had friends who have been in similar situations report back that sometimes both women will like you… and EACH OTHER as well.

I mean, what do you have to lose? 2 minutes of getting a phone number?

Look, your question was based in fear.

Fear that you’d offend one or both of the women, and then lose everything.

The fact is that you never HAD anything.

A phone number is easy to get. If you feel like asking both women for their numbers, do it. If you feel like asking them both to join you for tea, do it.

You get to make the rules.

***SUCCESS STORY***

David,

I received your DVD series about a month ago and have watched it in its entirety a few times. I’ve noticed a strange circumstance since then, similar to what Napoleon Hill says about how when you choose a definite major purpose in life, ways and means of attaining that purpose seem to magically appear to you. When I’ve been in situations where I wasn’t actually interacting with a woman and laying on the C&F, they’ve still been acting attracted to me despite the fact that I consciously did NOTHING in these situations. For example:

- A bar/restaurant I hit about once a week has a very hot waitress staff, and one in particular is a Pam Anderson clone who’s always being stared at and complimented by all the wussy guys. She’s been working at least a dozen times that I’ve been in there but has never acted like she even noticed me until the last time (since I’ve watched the DVDs) and she kept looking at me, over and over again, despite the fact that I did NOTHING ifferent. Finally I gave her the “wrinkled brow” suspicious look and she got all self- conscious, said “what?” and I came right back with “if you’re gonna be that forward and flirty with me you could’ve at least done your hair up a little better” and then it was ON!

- I met some friends for happy hour and a very hot chick was sitting at a table holding some guy’s hand. Every other guy in the place was staring at her and she was so hot that I even overheard some of the waitresses trashing her. The thing is, I had been watching the DVDs that same day and came walking in with a particularly cocky swagger and the wrinkled brow and she stared me down the whole way in. Then she would not stop looking over at me while she was holding this dude’s hand, he was obviously a Wussy since he saw what was going on and did nothing (I guess he’s the guy she uses for free dinners while she’s banging the real men). At one point she even took the long way to the bathroom to walk by me and flirt but with the Wussy watching there was no op to get the info…hopefully I run into her again.

It’s obvious that just watching the DVD series gives one an aura of confidence, since I did nothing in these situations but show up. Kinda like reading Comedy Writing Secrets then suddenly being funnier without actually thinking about it and trying. Simply watching and learning this material opens doors for you without trying!

FR Phoenix

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ah, you’re tapping into the power of the mind here.

One of the BIG benefits of learning all of the material that I teach in my programs is the changes that naturally occur inside your mind.

Once you see things differently, you begin to BEHAVE differently as well. And it will happen automatically.

Now, I don’t mean to sound new- agey here, but this is the reality of the situation.

Women can pick up on subtle body language that most men don’t even know EXISTS.

When you start “mentally rehearsing” some of the things you learn from my programs, you will automatically act differently when you’re in future situations with women.

Great job, and keep it up.

And make sure you send in some future Success Stories, as I’m sure you’re going to have many.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Hey Dave,

Blah blah blah, I shamelessly compliment you, you feel like a deity… there we’re done.

Your book would be worth it’s weight in gold, even if it were made of lead! I stumbled onto your site by accident. A month before, I was Let’s Just BeFriended for being “too nice”, and this was with an UGLY thing too! eh… I was desperate. I actually laughed at those “losers” for getting slapped on the arm and called a**hole, and later,I thought the chicks were idiots for dating them!! I’m better now. After reading your book it was like the heavens were parted and g*d HIMself bitch slapped the wuss right out of me!

Thanks.

Not only am I getting slapped, bitten, chewed on, and fought over, I am LOVING it too! Just the other day I was in a bookstore, and an old friend (read “hot chick”) of mine came in, I thought, ‘hey I am here just being my new self, lets try something’, so I walked over to her, said hi, and then said “I didn’t expect to see a beautiful young woman here” she said “aww that’s so sweet” (read “you wussy”) but then I did something that has been working really well for me, I busted on her. I said “maybe I still will” Slap on arm, AND big smile.

She was wearing this rather large skirt with ruffles, so I said “wow… I didn’t know the parachute look was still in” while obviously staring at it. Another slap on arm, this time laughing. Later she asked if I got my hair cut (I hadn’t) she said it “whatever it is, its really attractive.” There is this coffee shop in the store, so we had “stimulating conversation” a little while went by, and she asked me to go to her car with her, so she could “show me a new piece of art.” well needless to say, we are still ”appreciating art” together, and its been two months!

So the question is… Will complimenting the ladies then busting on whatever I just complimented work the same as if not complimenting at all?

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Ah, one of my favorites…

Giving a woman a compliment, then putting a backhanded twist on it.

“Wow, your shoes are cute. Did you buy them new?”

“Your hair is pretty. Did your mom do it for you?”

“Nice car. If you’re homeless.”

Pick up any modern men’s magazine and you’ll get a bunch of good ideas for this type of thing.

Cocky & Funny can be very powerful once you learn how to use it.

Great example, and thank you.

***QUESTION***

Hey Dave,

I have been reading your emails and have purchased your ebook and have read and studied from both. I would ’study’ areas I felt I was weak in or would that be wussy in, to improve, naturally, but would read everything for as much knowledge as I could absorb. Well, I have a success story but with a slight twist to it. The twist is my success was due to playing off of 2 other guys’ failures.

I went to a club in a part of town I normally do not go to. Not that it is a bad part of town I just never thought of going there. I went by myself, so on my own, no one for moral support, in a place I have never been before. Talk about giving your ideas the acid test, this was going to be it. I was looking down at the dance floor getting into the music and noticed behind me two girls sitting at a table. I then noticed 2 guys approach and one started to talk to one of the girls. The other guy was just standing there looking at girl #2 trying to get up the nerve to say something, from what I could tell, since I was that way myself in a not so distant past.

I just turned away and didn’t pay much attention but after 10 mins or so the same guy talking to girl #1 is not making any headway. Guy 2 still had his wuss game going so no change there. I decided to ask girl # 2 to dance but wanted to get her attention and interest, as well. So I leaned over and said, “While that guy is trying to hustle your friend, whom, I might he is not doing very well, would you like to dance?” Well, this girl just cracked up laughing, she did not want to dance but did want to talk more. She went on to say that there is nothing he could say or do at this point to make her want to dance or go out with him. He just doesn’t get it, she said.

I went on to say I know it is crowded and a bit loud here but one should understand NO easy enough. She agreed and went on to mention how much of a loser his friend is just standing there. I then remembered a statement someone used in an email of yours and thought I would use it myself. I said to girl #2 “what’s that smell, do you smell that?” She replies, “What smell?” I said, “The smell of desperation.” Well, Dave, that girl laughed so hard she fell out of her chair. I helped her up and when she told me she had to tell her girl friend that and when she leaned over to talk to her I just turned away and went back to looking at the people dancing.

After a bit this girl came up to me and said look at those losers they are just standing on the dance floor while people are dancing around them. They did look pretty pathetic. We talked a bit and I asked her name but I did not quite understand it since she was Latin and had a Latin name I could not make out what she said, what with all the loud music and noise. Just then some friends of hers and her girl friend’s came in and she started to talk to them so again I just turned away and watched people on the dance floor.

After a bit she came back and grabbed my arm and said come on I want to introduce you to my friends. After she introduces everyone to me I turn to her and ask what was your name again? Is it ludicrous? She just busted up laughing again and tried to tell me her name again. By now, she is holding my hand and we started dancing right there. We talked a bit and I told her she has to write her name down so I can pronounce correctly when I call her. She say’s, “Call me?” I said, “Yes, since you are writing your name down you might as well give me your number. How else am I going to call you? Oh, and if you have email you might as well give me that also.”

She said, that it was cool meeting me and gave me a hug and kiss. She then went back to her friends and I just turned away and called it a night.

It may not have been nice to use the 2 guys wuss behavior to my advantage but it worked.

N from Miami Beach

>>>MY COMMENTS:

LOL… so you went off secretly to a bar alone… hoping that no one would see you testing the materials out for yourself… lol.

Yea, sometimes it’s rough when other guys act like Wussy Jackasses…

But hey, it makes your life easier and more fun!

So what the hell, right?

I have to say, one of my personal favorite things to do with women I’ve just met is make fun of how other guys are acting.

It’s particularly fun in these bar-type situations, where you can watch one interaction after another.

Most guys suck at approaching women, and it makes for great humor and conversation.

Of course, talking about how terrible other guys are INSTANTLY separates you from the herd, and kind of puts you in the “NON-WUSS” category all by itself.

Another personal favorite of mine is to tell a girl that she should get together with one of the guys that is acting like a jackass.

“I think you and that Wuss-Boy over there would make a cute couple. He looks like he needs a mom like you to tell him what to do…” etc.

You’ve done a great job here, now keep it up.

And thanks for the great example.

Always remember in these situations that a big scoop of COCKY & FUNNY will make things go well.

And in this Mailbag you’ve also heard from a lot of guys who are using my original eBook “Double Your Dating” to improve their success with women and dating. It comes with three additional free bonus booklets, and it’s a complete introduction to my principles and techniques. Of course, it also comes with a 100% guarantee. Go download your copy here… you can be reading it in literally a few minutes from right now:

Free Dating Tips For Men

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

And I thought it might be helpful to take you “behind the scenes”, and show you what it’s like for a woman when she’s “looking” for a man.

OK, to start with, I have something important to tell you:

WOMEN ARE CRAZY.

I know, profound.

You can write me later and tell me how this new revelation has changed your life.

But please calm down, collect yourself, and let me explain.

Why do I say that women are “crazy”?

Well, BECAUSE THEY ARE, first of all. lol…

No, it’s because women do something that SEEMS crazy (especially if you’re a man).

Women like to SAY ONE THING, but when the time comes around to actually ACT, they do something TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

I could go into an essay on why this is, but for the purposes of this discussion, the most important reason has to do with EMOTIONS.

Women tend to SAY what they THINK when they’re asked a question.

But they tend to ACT on their EMOTIONS when an actual SITUATION presents itself.

Here’s an example:

You meet a woman, and get her number. You call her up. She agrees to meet you the next day for a cup of coffee. The next day comes around, and she doesn’t show up. You call her. Something came up, and she just couldn’t make it.

Ever been there?

What happened? (And doesn’t it piss you off when women ALWAYS seem to do this? Me too.)

Well, what HAPPENED is when you were talking to her on the phone, coffee the next day sounded fine.

But when the next day showed up, something else that was more interesting came up, and she didn’t FEEL like meeting you anymore.

Or maybe she just decided that she DIDN’T FEEL like meeting you when she woke up the next day.

Whatever.

But it PROBABLY had something to do with her not FEELING the same way anymore.

Now, if you’re a man, you hear something like this and say “She lied. She said she would be there, and she didn’t show up. She’s a liar.”

Or you say “Women who do this lack integrity.”

Or even “Women are FLAKY!”

Of course, ALL OF THESE ARE TRUE!

lol… no, no, no. Just kidding. Well, I’m not kidding 100%, but I’m kidding.

The point that I’m trying to make here is that when a woman says one thing, then does another, she sees that as being perfectly OK, because she’s “just following her feelings”.

But from a MAN’S point of view, if a woman says one thing, then does another, she’s either a liar, being flaky, or doesn’t have integrity.

Here’s the point:

Women aren’t going to change “how they feel” about this topic anytime soon.

So us guys are basically left with two main options in a situation like this one:

1) Keep banging our heads against the wall and expecting women to change, and start showing up when they say they will.

2) Learn how to make women FEEL like they want to actually show up for the meeting, so when they wake up the next day, they SHOW UP.

Get it?

Good.

Now let’s talk about the REAL topic of this newsletter… WHAT WOMEN LOOK FOR IN A MAN.

Of course, in my usual style, I’m going to put an interesting twist on this concept.

I’m going to argue that women will SAY that they “look for” one thing, but they actually RESPOND to something completely different.

All guys know that women seem to be “naturally” attracted to things like fame, wealth, Brad- Pitt- handsomeness, height, etc.

But I’ve now realized something that is actually pretty profound when you REALLY get it.

I now believe that women DON’T KNOW what they are ACTUALLY responding to.

In other words, these things like money and fame trigger EMOTIONS inside of women.

And if you’re NOT rich or famous or naturally handsome, you can get the same kinds of responses from women if you learn how to TRIGGER THE SAME EMOTIONS.

So, in the end, what women are REALLY “looking for” is a man who triggers their ATTRACTION.

Of course, a woman will never SAY this to you.

If you ask a woman what she’s looking for, she’ll say “I’m looking for a nice, honest guy who is successful and cute”.

But if she actually MEETS this guy, and he just happens to be a WUSSY who acts needy and clingy, then she’s NOT going to be into him.

In this case, she won’t respond to the guy that she’s “looking for” by being attracted to him. And it won’t work out.

On the other hand, if this same woman meets a guy who ISN’T what she “thinks” that she’s “looking for”, but he triggers her ATTRACTION EMOTION, then it’s all over.

It DOESN’T MATTER if he’s rich or handsome, because he’s done something that TRUMPS these things.

It has taken me a long time to actually get to the point where I BELIEVE this at a deep level. And the REASON I believe it is because I’ve never been the type of guy that women “approach”.

I have friends that are tall and handsome… and when we go out, women start conversations with them.

Before I learned what I know now, women never felt that powerful, GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for me that they do for my taller, handsome friends.

But NOW, now that I know how to use my body language and other communication to trigger the EMOTIONS in a woman, it’s COMPLETELY different.

I get responses from women that I actually considered IMPOSSIBLE before.

And it’s not because I grew 5 inches or became more handsome.

It’s because I KNOW SOMETHING that most guys just don’t know.

As you’ve read in these newsletters, there are certain techniques, like being Cocky & Funny, teasing women, never acting like a Wussy, etc. that will help you be successful as well.

Use them. Use what you learn.

There’s a BIG difference between what women are “looking for” and what they RESPOND TO. Don’t let anyone tell you any different.

AND, if you’re reading this right now, and you’re saying to yourself “OK, it’s time that I stopped wasting time screwing around, and I GOT MY BUTT IN GEAR and learned how to meet women”, then you need to do yourself a HUGE favor.

You need to TAKE ACTION, and get yourself a copy of my Double Your Dating ebook.

It’s the introduction to all of my concepts, and it’s the perfect primer to get you ready for my Advanced Dating Techniques program. Details and free samples are here:

Free Dating Tips For Men

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

You have changed my life forever, after watching the first 2 DVD’s of your advanced set 3-4 times each my entire, ENTIRE perspective on women has changed. I’m looking back on the past and SEEing where I’ve FAILED horribly and more importantly, WHY!! AND I see why others succeed where I’ve failed. Since I’ve long given up on religion your DVD set has become my new bible for life/women.

I’ve met three beautiful women this week SIMPLY by be confident, indifferent, and teasing. People I would have NEVER thought I would EVER even have a chance with now look like opportunities to me. Everything you say makes GOOD sense to me and I m really starting to GET IT after watching the DVD s over and over.

I swear to god you’re a genius, everything you say in the DVD’s comes together like an elegant puzzle once you watch them about 3-4 times each.

My favorite one I’ve used so far.

“Hey hun, that’s an interesting dress you have on” “Oh yeah, why is that?” (woman obviously trying to mature and sexy) “Because if you put your hair up into two pigtails you’d complete the “innocent little schoolgirl” look” (I walk off into the bar, but not before I get a sock in the arm, which opens up more comments about feeling a breeze nearby.)

MY GOD I LOVE YOU, If you weren’t a man I’d…well we wont get into that.

It’s fun now, not stressful work!

-B Washington

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Hey, meeting three beautiful women in one week is better than a sharp stick in the eye…

And yes, there is a lot of information in my Advanced Series.

I can appreciate what you mean when you say that it all starts to come together after you watch them a few times.

I had one guy, who came to my last L.A. Live Seminar, that had listened to the CD version 13 times!

The more you practice what you learn, then listen/watch again, then practice, then listen/watch again, the more sense it will all make.

Unlike a lot of “self help” programs that are just the same stuff re-hashed over and over again, I’ve put a lot of time, effort, energy, research, and planning into that program to make SURE that it was JAM PACKED with good information.

My goal is to have the absolute best materials available for learning how to be successful with women and dating, period.

It’s obvious that you’re really starting to “get it”, so keep reviewing and practicing.

And thanks for the email.

***SUCCESS STORY***

Dave,

Okay…what the heck are you the bomb or what? I have been getting your emails for about two and a half months now and it was amusing at first because it couldn’t have come at a better time (right after a break up). I have to say that the first few weeks had me and I went and finally got the book last week. Read it and tried some of the techniques and man I have to tell you that this must be some cosmic sh*t because it actually freakin WORKS IN THE REAL WORLD. Not only online, not only in bars, but everywhere there is a female there can be success!!!

Anyway on to my story, me and a couple of buddies of mine hang out at a local Wing House during the week and have done so before I got the book and your mail bags. Usually we would mess with the girls that work there with mild success (never any numbers or anything) and if you are familiar with Hooters girls think… hotter.

So after reading your mail bags and getting your book, I started messing and busting on this particular new girl by doing things that before reading your emails I thought would surely piss people off, she would do things like empty the ashtrays and I would put dirty napkins in them, she would be all slow at getting me refills and I would bust on her for not doing her job as good as other girls there, I would catch her looking at me occasionally and I would point at my glass like, “Hellooo…”. I was being a total annoyance the whole time!

At the end of the night I left her a nice tip and we ran into each other at the beach about three days later. She told me that when she met me she thought I was a smartass but that “it’s attractive”. I thought to myself “HOLY CRAP she just admitted to me this stuff works!! The Cocky Funny thing is the shiznit!!!” Of course I continued to bust on her even then saying that she was lucky I was in a good mood and that she has a cute smile because if it wasn’t for that, I would have not even remembered her.

So I asked her what she was doing and she said, she was going to Sea World and that I should go with her, she would treat….again, WHOAH!!! I declined and said that I had some other plans but I was wanting some wings she said for me to come by on her next shift where she would get off at 9 pm. She wanted me to come by at 9 so that we can have some drinks after her shift!!! Man I can’t say enough how easy this stuff was to implement!!! And it works like a charm. When me and my group of friends left the beach she ran up to me (looking all fine in her bikini) and gave me a big hug and a kiss on the lips…you have to understand, this chick is a 9 easy!!!! Man I had a damn “Colgate” smile all the way home that day and still do to this day.

You is the man, and you have no idea how nice it is to have this sort of confidence now, well wait, I guess you do huh? LOL.

Much Gratitude Bro!

A. from Orlando.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, you suck… and your friends hate you.

Well, so be it.

I’ll tell you something, I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about when you say that this girl told you that you were a smartass, but that “it’s attractive”.

The things that make women feel ATTRACTION are not exactly “logical” at first glance.

In fact, some of the things that can cause a woman to feel a powerful SEXUAL ATTRACTION for a man are things that most guys wouldn’t “accidentally try” in a million years.

I can clearly remember one night I was out with a good friend who was trying to show me a few things about how to meet women…

We were talking to two cute girls… and he was “taking the lead”.

I couldn’t understand WHAT he was doing.

He was acting arrogant, making fun of them, being difficult, and doing all kinds of things that I would NEVER do.

Of course, he wound up inviting the two girls back to his house… and they came along with us (and as I recall, they actually drove us home).

Again, this made ZERO sense to me.

He wasn’t being “nice” at all.

In fact, he was being rather arrogant and fussy.

But, as I was to learn later, there was SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON… and the WOMEN UNDERSTOOD IT.

There is something very powerful about demonstrating that you’re not needy, acting “too comfortable” around women, and even teasing them. It says all the right things, and it triggers something that you can’t trigger with “being nice”.

One of my favorite jokes to use with waitresses is to wait until they make a mistake, forget something, or even just say, “I’m sorry, we’re out of that tonight”.

I shoot right back, “Could we get a new waitress please? I’m afraid you’re just not going to work out tonight.”

Of course, I have a very serious face when I say this.

It’s obvious that I’m exaggerating, so it makes her laugh.

It’s arrogant, crass, and kind of rude.

But, it’s also damn funny, and it says ALL the right things.

Thanks for your email.

And remember… you suck, and your friends hate you now.

***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***

Dear David

First I would like to say that your writings are the most interestingly, funny, theories I have ever read. As being a female reader,…something has piqued my curiosity to the fullest extent. Firstly, I have noted that all whom seek advice and comments from you, address you by your first name, a very informal approach to addressing another with any type of degree in the field of psychology. Another comment of yours, that
actually piqued my curiosity is that you assist others “to develop that or their innate or natural part of themselves that is already there.”

My question is if a part of another is “innate” that means that it is a natural inborn part of them, so why would anyone need help with being whom they are?? Secondly, …being a layman, … I dont understand how one could give others advice, …on how to do anything, unless one has walked in their shoes so to speak. I would also like to know if you are certified in the field of Psychology or are you a motivational speaker, …being either, you would have to have complete knowledge of the subject, and therefore, …if you are a Dr. in the psychology field, …Wouldn’t you want to be acknowledged as such?

M.C. New York

>>>MY COMMENTS:

LOL… now this is good comedy.

OK, let’s start by making fun of your first comment…

Look, even if I had 10 Ph.D. degrees, I would still insist that everyone call me by my first name.

Hellllooooooo…

Would you prefer it if I insisted that you refer to me as “Mr. David D. Sir”?

Hey, that doesn’t sound half bad.

OK, on to making fun of more of your comments…

Let’s just reprint what you wrote, word-for-word:

“Another comment of yours, that actually piqued my curiosity is that you assist others “to develop that or their innate or natural part of themselves that is already there.” My question is if a part of another is “innate” that means that it is a natural inborn part of them, so why would anyone need help with being whom they are??”

Come on, smarty…

You don’t know the difference between “developing an innate or natural part of yourself” and “being who you are”?

Look, if you go to the gym and work out, you will develop a part of yourself (muscles, respiratory system, etc.)

Now, you can also do this while doing an impersonation of Bozo The Clown, which technically, would be developing a part of yourself while NOT “being who you are”.

I love confusing explanations like the one I just made up.

OK, let’s try another…

Dr. Stephen Pinker of MIT has written a book called “The Language Instinct”.

Now, this is a pretty smart dude. Pick up one of his books and read a few pages if you’d like to understand just how sharp he is.

He believes that humans come “pre-wired” with a an “innate” mechanism for SPEECH.

In other words, we have the wiring from birth.

Now, if you grew up in the woods with no other humans around you, and I showed up one day and tried to have a conversation with you in English, would you be able to talk to me?

Duh, no.

In other words, just because you come “pre-wired” with the ability and instinct to learn and speak a language doesn’t mean that every person will do it equally well (or even at all).

Same goes for men and their success with women.

I now believe that “we guys” come PRE-WIRED with the “INNATE” or “NATURAL PART” of us that knows how to be successful with women.

But, guess what?

Most of us grew up in the equivalent of the WOODS when it comes to LEARNING and DEVELOPING this part of ourselves.

For those of us who never learned how to use the natural talents that we were born with, we need to LEARN.

Once we LEARN how to use what we have and we LEARN how to use our body language and communication to attract women, THEN we can “be ourselves” all we want. Until then, no amount of “being yourself” is going to work.

I’d go on to make fun of you in a more detailed manner, but time’s a wastin’, and I’ve got others lined up to take verbal abuse from me…

Oh, and I HAVE walked a mile in the shoes of “no clue about women”. More like a mile a day for about 27 years of my life, to be exact.

***QUESTION***

Hi David!

I’ve bought your book only a few months ago so I’m just a beginner. I can’t give you success stories yet. I met a bisexual women on a dating site. She lives nearby (about 5 minute walk!). I started a conversation and at first she seemed interested! My strategy was to meet as soon as possible because of the short distance. I asked her if she liked to have an ice-cream in the park. She said no. I gave it a rest for a few weeks, and then started writing messages again.

I think I became too personal at some point and she responded: “I don’t know what you mean, I’m totally uninterested, leave me alone, thank you.”. After that I still had a small conversation and she wrote back a few times. She was not angry, and as a reason she said she had contacted some other guys and she wanted to do fun things with them (but I think it was something else). My question is. Could she just be saying “give me some time”? My idea is, that if she says something like that, I should leave her alone completely. But would it hurt to send a message, maybe a month or so later?

How would you get attraction going on after this?
R. from Europe

>>>MY COMMENTS:

OK, well I have a hard time believing that you’ve read my book… because you obviously need to read it AGAIN.

If I were you, I’d re-read it every few days until something changes in the way you look at these situations.

Ice cream in the park?

Huh?

Is that in “Chapter 17: How To Be A Dork”?

Maybe I forgot about that part of the book.

Look, you need to pay closer attention to what I’m saying, and quit trying to improvise with the bisexual babes on the internet.

If a woman doesn’t respond to you initially, move on.

Get over it.

Especially on internet dating sites.

There are MILLIONS of women on these sites, so just get on to the next one.

Try a few of the ideas that I mention in my book in your responses. Place an ad of your own, or several. Notice what works, and keep doing it.

And let me do a little translating for you. When a woman says:

“I don’t know what you mean, I’m totally uninterested, leave me alone, thank you.”

…what she REALLY means is:

“I don’t know what you mean, I’m totally uninterested, leave me alone, thank you.”

Thank you.

Oh, if you’re going to keep doing a lot of online dating, then check this out as well:

Meeting Women Online

***QUESTION***

What else can I say but you are the sh#@. I read your book and it changed my life. I went from almost never talking to women at all, (and when I did I would just say wussy remarks) to being the local mack daddy complete with pimp cane and feathered hat. I went to visit my cousin in OH recently and we went on a double date. Apparently he had been working on a girl for some time and she just brought a friend for me.

The whole night I was busting on both of the girls. It got to the point where the girl my cousin was with started flirting and touching me a lot along with the girl I was with. You just have to look at the situation
and find something to make fun of. Its just like when you’re a kid and you dont really care about what other people think, you just say whats on your mind. Well, anyways we went out to a movie the next day and I just kept laying the cocky and funny on her. She started touching me in the movie and stuff and long story short it ended up with me having sex with her.

And this was a girl I had only met a few days ago. The hardest part for me was overcoming the care of what other people think and situations that would probably not happen (her getting offended, etc.) I am a huge fan of your book and newsletters. It seem like whenever I have a question about something you do a newsletter on it. I’m really considering buying your Advanced series stuff. Heres my question. Does your DVD program have anything extra on it that the CD program doesn’t have beside being video of course?

Thanks for everything.

C.P. St. Louis, MO

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Yeah, well Pimp Canes and Feather Hats are optional.

They are not absolutely necessary.

Good job with the materials, you obviously GET IT.

And it’s true… one of the main things that we guys need to overcome is this whole idea of caring what other people think. It doesn’t MATTER what other people think.

The only thing that matters is what HAPPENS as a result of what you do.

To answer your question about my Advanced Series…

It’s the same material on both the CD and DVD versions.

Both are great, and I guarantee that when you watch or listen to this program, it will BLOW YOUR MIND. There is so much in that program that will help you improve… it’s amazing.

Great job, and thanks for the email.

***COMMENTS FROM A WOMAN***

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that I wish more guys would listen to your advice. I am a very attractive young lady and have guys hitting on me all the time. There is nothing intriguing about the person who immediately lets you know how happy or surprised they are that you even talked to them. If they put the girl up too high on a pedestal, it just makes the guy completely expendable because obviously the girl can “do better” (at least in the guy’s mind). Please keep giving advice and guys, please listen… It works. M.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Exactly. I like the way you explained this…

“There is nothing intriguing about the person who immediately lets you know how happy or surprised they are that you even talked to them.”

Nice.

You know, I should start a “David D. Fan club”, and only let women join.

Of course, it would be very expensive…

***QUESTION***

I have said this and I will say it again! Man, your stuff is excellent! By far the best I have ever read, or heard! I can tell why this was your calling! Today, I attained 3 emails/phone numbers from 3 very attractive girls in ONE DAY! That’s definitely a record for me! Once I listened to your lesson about creating my own reality, I feel like I can just walk up to ANY GIRL I WANT, and KNOW that I will do a good job socializing/flirting with them, whether they are responsive to it or not doesn’t mean ANYTHING to me, because it’s THEIR problem, not MINE.

This one particular case, I was with this girl that I’ve been talking to for a while, and we went down to a church hangout because I had left my bookbag in there from the night before we went down there. Well, she offers to drive me down there and I take the offer (btw – I bust on her about her car that she adores sooo much all the way down there and she loves it).

Anyway, by the time I get down there with her, I find my bookbag, and we stay down there and talk with some friends for a bit. Well, it turns out that about 2 other guys are hitting on her and flirting with her, so I just sat in the couch and started talking to another girl. Anyhoo, I notice that these guys are flirting a little bit differently from the way I do it. I almost never compliment a girl when I’m flirting with her, but these guys did. I’m wondering, does the compliment hurt or help? Various dating coaches everywhere tell me different answers, but I know yours will be the right one. So is it good to compliment girls, or is it bad?

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Nice!

Three emails and numbers in one day… that’s not too shabby, my friend.

I can remember not-too-long-ago in my life thinking that something like this would be IMPOSSIBLE.

But, as you obviously know, it’s not.

To answer your question about compliments…

If you have ZERO GAME, then showering a woman with compliments will work better than NOTHING.

But, think about it…

If you walk up to a woman and start giving her compliments left and right, what is she going to be thinking?

Right.

She’s going to think to herself, “Yeah, this guy is obviously into me big time. I own him.”

There’s no mystery, no challenge, nothing interesting at all.

It’s what EVERY guy does. And it’s usually perceived as BORING and PREDICTABLE.

Now, there are ways to give women compliments that don’t give all your power away… but giving a woman a compliment is usually a SELFISH thing to do. It’s using words to try to GET something from a woman.

Ironically, even though many of my ideas and concepts appear to be a little on the “cruel” side, they are actually all about giving women what they REALLY want.

Look, if you’re getting three numbers in a day, then you’re on the right track.

Your girl may have been smiling politely as the Wussbags were kissing up to her, but who got the three numbers that day?

***QUESTION***

Dave…

I’ve always been really shy and introverted. And, obviously, it has not exactly worked to my advantage with dating. I’ve done all sorts of things to get rid of this shyness – I took a job as a waiter, a salesperson, taken public speaking classes, read books etc.. and nothing has worked nearly as well as your e-Book and e-mails!! Thanks a ton – you’ve given me superior confidence and I owe it all to you.

Now, onto the question…

In addition to being a bit shy, I have also always been a pretty witty, sarcastic guy which really helped when developing a more CF attitude. Whenever I’m talking to girls, I ALWAYS get socked in the arm or get that “Oh no you didn’t” look. However, I can’t approach girls for the life of me. But, once I’m “in there”, I just have these girls on a string, like a marionette. What do you say?

Ciao!

DF Bloomington, IN

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, I can really appreciate where you’re coming from on this one.

Let me mention quickly that I’ve really put a lot of time and effort into making my materials “shy guy friendly” and I’ve focused on teaching things that any guy can use…even if you’re “naturally” very shy.

I’ve been there.

I can remember times in the past where I’ve sat looking at a girl for HOURS… without being able to work up enough nerve to walk over and start a conversation… and then I’d go home and think about it for DAYS. I’m with you.

I’m going to give you an idea for how to overcome your shyness and approach women, and then I’m going to give you a recommendation.

Here’s the idea first:

GET ONLINE AND START THERE.

Go download one of the free instant messengers that are available online, and spend an evening starting conversations at random with women online.

I did this quite a bit myself, and it helped me TREMENDOUSLY.

Try different things.

Say, “Hi”.

Say, “You sound like you’re probably pretty old”.

Say, “You spelled a word wrong in your profile”.

Say, “You’re exactly what I’ve been looking for. Let’s drive to Vegas and get married. Are you game?”

In other words, just play around and see what kinds of responses you get.

Of course, don’t say anything overly bizarre or vulgar… the internet cops might take away your internet connection or something spooky.

But, just learn how to deal with that initial jolt of emotion that you get when you’re starting a conversation with a woman that you don’t know.

Keep it up until:

1) You can sit down anytime and start a conversation with a woman on the internet without hesitating.

2) You’re getting positive responses. (I’m not talking about women saying, “Hey hot stuff, come over now!” I’m talking about women just responding by talking to you.)

This will help you to understand that your fear of approaching and starting conversations with women is UNFOUNDED.

In other words, you’ll SEE WITH YOUR OWN TWO EYES that nothing bad is going to happen to you if
a woman doesn’t want to talk to you.

You’ll also see that some women are busy, some are not nice people, and some are friendly and open.

Said differently, you’ll realize that it’s not about YOU when a woman doesn’t respond to you warmly… and it won’t HURT you either.

Next, get out into the real world and start making small talk with women… WITH NO INTENTION OF TAKING THINGS ANY FURTHER THAN THAT CONVERSATION.

When you start a conversation thinking “I want to get that girl’s number”, it puts HUGE PRESSURE on you… ESPECIALLY if you’re not comfortable doing things like approaching women.

So chill.

Go to the mall, and walk into EVERY store.

When a sales girl says, “Can I help you with something?” respond by saying, “I don’t think you’re qualified to give me the kind of help that I need, but thanks for the offer”.

If you wind up buying something in one of the stores, ask the girl for a 50% discount.

When she asks why, tell her that it should be obvious… it’s because she thinks you’re special.

After you’ve had fun, walk away. Leave.

Don’t worry about getting numbers or dates. Just work on starting conversations in “easy” situations (where the women are PAID to talk and be nice to you).

Do this three or four times over the course of a few weeks, and you’ll start to change how you THINK about these types of situations. You’ll SEE how women will respond, and it will change how you FEEL.

Finally, remember that it’s not NECESSARY to learn how to approach women that you don’t know…if you don’t want to.

There are PLENTY of situations that allow you to meet women without ever having to “approach”them.

Go check out some dance classes. Try swing or salsa. Imagine being able to:

1) Learn how to dance (which women think is hot)

AND…

2) Have one conversation after another as you change partners…

Now, there are all kinds of places like this where you can skip the “approaching women” step and just move right into the Cocky & Funny or getting numbers.

Put your mind to it, and do a little thinking. Look around. Opportunities like this are everywhere.

…and if you’re reading this right now and you haven’t taken the time to download your copy of my online ebook Double Your Dating, then you need to do that now. It’s the foundation of everything I teach in these newsletters, and it will help make sense of all the different things discussed here…You can download it here:

Double Your Dating

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

If you are a “nice guy” who never seems to be able to attract HOT women, or you have attractive female friends who always seem to say, “He’s really wonderful, but I just like him as a FRIEND”, then this could possibly be the single most important thing you ever read in your entire life.

And I’m not kidding… not even a little.

If I had to sum up the biggest mistake that I see men making with women (and the big mistake that I’ve made myself too many times to count), it’s being a WUSSY.

Being a WUSS comes in two main flavors:

1) Acting like a WUSSY to begin with.

2) Turning INTO a WUSSY as you get to know her.

I would venture to guess that most men either act like WUSSIES with women they’re attracted to ALL the time, or they turn into WUSSIES within a few weeks or months of meeting a woman that they REALLY like.

I know, this sounds a little strange, right?

What the heck should being a Wuss have to do with attracting women?

The answer: EVERYTHING.

Let’s review a few of the most important concepts to remember when it comes to attracting women:

1) ATTRACTION ISN’T A CHOICE. As humans, we don’t “consciously choose” who we FEEL attracted to. It just “happens” to us… BANG! And you can’t “convince” someone to FEEL this powerful emotion.

2) ATTRACTION DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. When you think about the concept of being emotionally attracted to another person, it only “makes sense” that you should feel attracted to good qualities like “niceness” and “honesty” and “loyalty”, right? Well guess what… ATTRACTION doesn’t play by those rules.

The things that we are ATTRACTED to don’t make “logical sense” when you look at them. We all know that attractive women seem to date a lot of abusive jerks… and that men often stay in relationships with unhappy, domineering women. For ATTRACTION to make “logical sense”, you must learn how it works, and get a deeper understanding of what triggers it.

3) STATUS is very important when it comes to ATTRACTION. Women are almost NEVER attracted to men of “lower status” than themselves. This is why certain stereotypes exist, such as women not liking shorter men, and women who make a lot of money being intimidating to men.

4) ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HAVE A LOT OF CHOICES. Most men have never even taken a minute of their lives to consider what it must be like to be an attractive woman. Attractive women are approached in one way or another ALL THE TIME by men who are interested in them.

For an attractive woman, every smile, every kind gesture, and every favor is in one way or another viewed as INTEREST. An attractive woman is approached in one way or another MANY times a day. It would be impossible for an attractive woman to give even a small fraction of her time to each of the men who shows interest in her.

5) MEN ARE SOOOOO UNORIGINAL. Just as most men have never given a thought to how it must feel and what it must be like to be an attractive woman, most men have never given a thought to the fact that MEN ARE PREDICTABLE BEYOND BELIEF… from an attractive woman’s point of view.

The comment or compliment that you think is so original, or the invitation to a date… or the question about her having a boyfriend… or the comment that “her boyfriend is a lucky man”… is so UNORIGINAL, PREDICTABLE… AND WORST OF ALL, BORING to an attractive woman. She gets this stuff 100 times a day! And men who are unoriginal do NOT stand out from the crowd.

6) ATTRACTIVE WOMEN HAVE WUSS-DAR! There are a few simple, unmistakable signals that men give off that say, “Hey, I’m just another WUSS, so don’t pay attention to anything else I do, because I’ll always be one”… which, of course, makes women RUN.

(As a side note, attractive women also have NON-WUSS-DAR as well. In other words, from a few simple clues, an attractive woman can quickly know if she is dealing with a man who is NOT a Wuss, and who, therefore, will be one of the few who are allowed the time and consideration for romantic interactions.)

Soooo, what is it about being a WUSS that is the big problem here?

Why is it that of all things in the world, this is the “big sin” when it comes to attracting women?

It’s taken me several years now to really figure this out, and it’s not exactly simple to explain

But, I’ll sum it up and say this:

WOMEN COME “PRE-PROGRAMMED” WITH A MENTAL IMAGE OF THE KIND OF MAN THAT THEY SHOULD FEEL ATTRACTION FOR. THIS PROGRAMMING IS BOTH GENETIC AND CULTURAL. WHEN A WOMAN MEETS THIS MAN, THINGS HAPPEN ON THEIR OWN… INSTANTLY.

Now, I personally believe that MOST of this programming is genetic. In other words, women are BORN with it.

Attraction isn’t like other things that “seem” like they should be similar.

If you want to make friends with someone, you should be nice, do them favors, be courteous, and generally act like you’re making an effort.

But, when you try to take this kind of thinking and apply it to ATTRACTION (which almost all men do), then you find yourself doing things that SHOULD work… but they don’t.

ATTRACTION is very “counter intuitive” (damn, I love it when I use big words)… which means that it’s not the way it “should” be. It’s different than it seems at first glance. It’s deceptive in a way because unless you “get” how it works, you’ll just keep beating your head up against the wall doing things that don’t work, “trying harder” when these things fail, and actually making things WORSE as a result of not understanding it.

Have you ever met a woman and given her a compliment, only to have her walk away and show no interest?

Or pursued a woman with gifts, favors, and dinners, only to have her be “confused” and need “time alone”… which eventually led to her wanting to “just be friends”?

Have you ever had an attractive female friend who liked to date abusive jerks… and then tell YOU about the abuse she was putting up with… all the while you would have done ANYTHING for a chance to be with her?

Yeah, me too.

That’s what I mean it when I say that you can actually make things WORSE by TRYING HARDER when you don’t “get” how attraction works.

If I had to sum it all up, and describe the one HUGE mistake that men make with women… the one that causes the most pain and prevents the most success, I’d have to say that it was…

BEING A WUSSY, OR TURNING INTO ONE.

For a lot of reasons, a WUSSY just doesn’t make for an interesting, romantic counterpart. Women will SETTLE for a Wuss, or even SETTLE DOWN with one (usually after the Wuss has demonstrated his TOTAL lack of self-respect, and his COMPLETE willingness to put aside all of his own needs for a woman).

Unfortunately, this often ends with the woman cheating on the Wuss, leaving him for someone else, taking everything from him (including his self esteem) etc…

I digress…

The point is, a WUSSY doesn’t trigger ATTRACTION.

Wussies are BORING. They’re needy. They lack ENERGY, act CLINGY, and make women feel TRAPPED and repulsed.

Everything about the WUSS spells “DON’T PICK ME”.

Now, the first thing most guys say when they hear this news is, “But I don’t want to be a JERK to women” or “I like the idea of being NICE” or “I’m just being MYSELF with women… what’s wrong with that?”.

I can identify.

I get it.

I spent many years of my life thinking these kinds of things.

Well, the good news is that you don’t need to be a “jerk” or treat women badly to attract them. lol…

You just need to:

1) Abandon your Wussy Ways.

2) Learn how ATTRACTION works.

3) Change how you look at relationships.

4) Learn the specific things that you need to do in each situation to meet women and make them feel that wonderful, powerful, magical, elusive emotion called ATTRACTION.

5) Never “slip”, or allow yourself to start behaving like a WUSSY as you get to know a woman.

Doesn’t sound too hard, right?

Good…

I’d like to get you started with some homework.

You have an assignment for the week.

Here it is:

1) Stop being “nice” to attractive women. This means no asking women out, no giving them lots of compliments, no putting your needs aside, no accepting manipulative behavior to please women, and no giving women special treatment or privileges just because they’re attractive. NOTE: I did NOT say to treat women BADLY. I’m just telling you to stop doing all the FAKE things you’re doing just to make women like you.

2) Stop handing women your, um, testosterone making devices on a silver platter. In other words, stop giving away your power to women. Do not communicate in ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM that you will put aside your own self respect in order to get a woman’s approval.

3) Say the word “NO” to a request from an attractive woman at least once every single day. Do NOT do this in an angry, mean, or abusive way. Just simply say, “no”. (By the way, it’s OK to say “no” in a serious tone, then DO the thing she requested after making her sweat a little. This is using sarcasm and humor, and if it’s done right it will earn you big points).

4) Pay close attention as you do these things, and notice how attractive women will seem MORE comfortable being around you, and want to spend MORE time with you… all because you’re not acting needy, clingy, and WUSS-LIKE.

And if you haven’t had a chance to download your copy of my online eBook Double Your Dating, then you need to do that IMMEDIATELY. You can download it and be reading it in just a few minutes from right now.

It’s here:

Double Your Dating

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

Hi David, Thanks-Your book and CD series have helped to change my life over the last year. I’m Jewish and really wanted to date Jewish women. They were scarce near me in the US. You say to go live where the kind of women you want to date are, so I recently came to Israel. The Israeli women are incredibly sexy and exotic.

I contacted some women before I got there via e-mail and slept with 2 of them on first dates, and made out with another seriously on the 2nd date…and more now…In fact, I have more #’s than I can keep track of between the net and now from meeting women from performing music in small clubs. COCKY and FUNNY works folks!!! I used a lot of your “lines” and techniques by the book or w/ alterations: “look if you scare me in person, I’ll be like oh, I’ve got to go…comb my camel”

Since my Hebrew is much worse than these girls’ English, I generally use English, and get to tease them about funny things that they say or their accent…I also told a woman I met who was into exploring S&M that I would be willing to keep spanking her and tying her up IF she was willing to tutor me in Hebrew…

I made a semi-mistake of getting into a program in a small, retirement town for a half year, (Ooops!) but have created an alternative existence by traveling into the bigger cities, using my own room at a Youth Hostel to “host” a woman in her own town, and staying with a woman once we are sleeping together, sometimes leaving her place to go on a date w/ another woman…(”Who am I meeting, hon? Actually, I’m going to a brothel now!”)

???In your CD series you mention a face that you can make that drives women wild that you went around practicing making and a woman started kissing you…I think you mentioned James Dean, not sure…anyways, I want to see that face…Could you point me to a picture???

Thanks!

Rocking in the Holy Land!!!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Well, it’s nice to hear that the materials are crossing all cultural and international boundaries…

“I’ve got to go comb my camel…”

You gotta love telling a woman that if you meet her and she’s scary that you’re going to leave to COMB YOUR CAMEL.

Oh, and the generous offer you made in exchange for the Hebrew lessons. Very original.

And to answer your question that you asked about the “face” that women respond to…

Check out the look that Marlon Brando has on his face on the cover of “Streetcar Named Desire”. That should give you a good idea of what I’m talking about.

Stay in touch, and keep sharing the adventures of the International Jewish Ladies Man.

***SUCCESS STORY***

David… Like magic…the use of your advice worked!

Not just one bit of advice like a magic bullet though …it is the combination of all your strategies, techniques and process understanding. It is important to get your book, read your email updates, and the CDs to put it all together and really “get it”. I can’t imagine what would happen if I came to your seminar ….sh** I would
probably be dating the next in line for Queen of England. So I read all the books you recommended to work on my “inner game”…very important and intelligent of you to figure all this out. I never could have done it on my own. You have got my ASM (Automatic Success Mechanism) as per Maxwell Maltz going so extreme that most times I don’t even need to make the first move…. attractive women notice me now. Okay let me give you and example of what I am talking about.

Just walked into a fast food restaurant and noticed a tall, striking blonde (at least a 9.5) who bent over backwards to make sure my order was perfect.. ..even took my cash up to the register for me. Well after all that extra attention I thought it must be time to say something, especially after all the “Dave Work” I have been doing. I wanted to say…”You must be an actress or a model” because she is so beautiful, but only a Wuss would say something like that.

ASM from my sub-conscience kicked in and I laid back and then casually said “…this is a fast-paced environment, do you like it?” Dave, she began telling me some of the most interesting things. To my surprise, I had to cut her off and then I just merely said….. “Do you have email?” She said wait a minute I’ll give you one of my cards. She left the very busy floor went to the employee break room (I guess) or her car and returned with a business card that she wrote her email address on the back. She then walked me partially to the door, shook my hand and wished me good luck.

Dave…if I wouldn’t have read your stuff and listed to the CDs (five times) I would have stayed there, ordered another coke, seemed needy by just hanging out and like I didn’t have a life. Her Wuss detector would have wrote me off immediately. Meeting a beautiful woman was the last thing on my mind but the aura I must have now and the abilities I now have are thanks to you. Actually, I intend to master your stuff.

Who knows maybe the Royalty circuit is just waiting for me? I set a goal three weeks ago of dating 4-5 women in six months. Well its been three weeks of studying “Dave Stuff” and I already got three new woman in my life and if this one works out that will be four! Plus, since I am not as needy I’ve got three old girlfriends calling, emailing and sending gifts like never before.

Gee…if I ever get time to actually go out and look for women, like at a night club or sporting event, I can’t imagine what will happen. I even got two women on email that are going to fly cross country at their expense to meet me and stay for the weekend. One just got a boob job and wants me to be the first to see and touch her new additions …and the other is going to work overtime for three weeks just to pay for the tickets! There is not much more of a powerful testimonial to show how effective your advice actually works for meeting women over the internet.

Sincere thanks David, L. from Denver

>>>MY COMMENTS

The Queen of England?

Dude, she’s not that hot…

Isn’t it AMAZING how differently women respond when you begin to understand and communicate with them in this way?

And the internet is SUCH a great place to apply what you’re learning and PRACTICE as well.

I learned a lot by chatting with women on instant messaging services, etc.

In fact, if it wasn’t for the internet and being able to practice in this way, it would have taken me a LOT longer to figure out a lot of the things that I now use and teach.

And, of all the places to REALLY STAND OUT… when you respond to a woman’s personal ad with a great Cocky & Funny note, it’s like a breath of fresh air.

Or when you IM a woman and say, “It says here that you’re an actress. What, you couldn’t get a real job?”…

It sets you apart INSTANTLY from all the loser guys who are saying, “Hi, you’re really pretty. Can I take you out on a date?”

I like your ideas about incorporating self help and personal development into your routine. I’ve read a lot of great self help books, and they have helped me to deal with my “personal stuff” and feel more comfortable in my own skin in general.

Great job, and congratulations on your success.

By the way, if you want to get a WORLD CLASS education on how to meet women online, just go here… and don’t forget to watch the videos:

Meeting Women Online

***QUESTION***

I look forward to reading your newsletters. As geeky as it sounds, I actually take notes on them and have filled up an entire notebook. I’m a 23-year old guy, smart, handsome, in-shape, many interests, and yet I’ve been completely clueless about women. I didn’t get my first girlfriend until I was 19, and I’ve been the quintessential wuss in most of my female interactions.

Girls usually shied away from me after meeting me, and numerous times I’ve had girls smile at me from across the room and then suddenly act disinterested as soon as I opened my mouth. All this and I notice how one of my friends who has no education, job, ambitions or nice possessions gets all the women he wants. Like you say, dating isn’t fair.

From reading your newsletters, it has helped me to adopt a different frame of mind, that of a more calm, cool, in-control dude instead of a submissive, insecure trailer. At first I didn’t like the C&F routine because I thought it went against my Christian morals, but I’ve been able to make peace with the idea as I saw it more as self-improvement and a means of obtaining better human relationships. Not just a means of getting booty. Girls are beginning to hang around me more, especially in school, although at first I had a hard time relapsing into wuss behavior.

I’ve had more dates and lined up some more promising ones.

My question is twofold. One, how does one keep from regressing into wuss behavior after initial success, and two, do you have any special deals on your ebook and CD series for poor, full-time college students who works two jobs?

Thanks, and keep inspiring wusses everywhere to be better!

>>>MY COMMENTS:

THIS IS A GREAT QUESTION!

The way to not “regress into Wuss behavior after initial success” is…

1) Have a life.

Stay busy. Spend time on your own. Do things with friends that don’t involve the woman you’re dating.

Too many guys will meet a woman, then basically say in one way or another to her: “You are my everything now, and I will do whatever I have to do to please you and spend time with you”.

Big mistake.

If you stay busy, and keep your own life going it will make you MORE attractive.

You’ve probably heard me say “Give her the gift of missing you”… and this is one good way to do it.

It also keeps your head on straight, and makes you remember that you have a life, and you can enjoy yourself any time you want without her.

2) Don’t get mushy too often.

Use romance as a spice, not a main dish. Don’t buy her things all the time (if at all).

Don’t say too many “mushy” things, either.

The key here is to only show your “sensitive” side once in awhile, and to NEVER let that side of you take over and prevent you from acting like a man. Women aren’t ATTRACTED to Wussy behavior…so don’t do it.

3) YOU be the one to end the interactions with her.

End phone calls, dates, etc. with her on a high note, and always end them a little too soon.

Most guys act clingy and keep holding on to a woman when talking, on a date, etc.

Let’s say you’re talking to her on the phone for a few minutes and you’re having a GREAT conversation.

End it.

Say “Great, I’m going to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Leave her always wanting more.

This is one way that you can continually demonstrate to yourself that you can stay in control of yourself…

AND NOT TURN INTO A WUSSY.

If you DO start acting like a Wuss, STOP IMMEDIATELY.

Old Proverb: No matter how far down the wrong road you’ve gone, TURN BACK.

But turn back before it’s too late, because once a woman has you in the Mental Wussy Slot, it’s hard to get out, and even worse, it’s REALLY hard to get a woman who once felt ATTRACTION for you to feel it again after you’ve had a Wussy Spaz Attack.

***EMAIL OF THE WEEK***

YO BIATCH! YOU STILL HAVEN’T PUT MY KICK ASS STORY IN YOUR NEWSLETTER YET!!! you better do it, cuz i nailed that hottie i wrote to you about!

t.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

What can I say?

It just had to be included.

I love the attention getting and original “Yo biatch!” and the sensitivity of “I nailed that hottie”.

You really have a way with words, man.

OK, now everyone knows that you’re a stud. Keep up the good work.

And maybe look into some “How to communicate like an adult man” courses… and stop reading all those damn Maxim and Stuff magazines and listening to Snoop so much.

…so, do I have a great job or what? I get to make fun of people and get paid for it. It’s tough being me.

I want to talk a little more about the concept of NOT BEING A WUSSY.

I’ve spent a LOT of time thinking about this, researching it, and coming up with the reasons why men act like this in the first place… and more importantly, how to recognize these things and CHANGE them when you want to.

I have gotten a lot of feedback from guys saying things like “This stuff has completely changed the way I think about women” and “Now when I interact with women, I’m the one in control because I understand what’s going on in their minds” etc.

As men, I think that MOST of our programming is BACKWARDS when it comes to women and dating. And if you haven’t taken the time to download my online eBook Double Your Dating, then you need to go and do that RIGHT NOW. You can download it to your computer and be reading it within a few minutes from RIGHT NOW. Go download it here:

Double Your Dating

I’ll talk to you again soon!

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

The idea is simple: We humans don’t want what everyone else has… we want what everyone else has AND MORE. In the context of women and dating, it goes like this:

WOMEN AREN’T ATTRACTED TO GUYS THEY PERCEIVE AS AVERAGE.

Remember, ATTRACTION doesn’t make logical sense… Women don’t say, “Oh, he’s a kind, honest, loyal type of guy from a good family… AND THAT REALLY TURNS ME ON.”

Nope.

Women say things like:

“He’s sexy”… “There’s chemistry between us”… “I really feel something for him”… etc.

And also remember: If a woman feels a strong ATTRACTION for you, then the rest of the equation isn’t as important. If she feels it, she’ll go out of her way to find good reasons to be with you… even if you’re not her “physical type”.

On the other hand, no amount of gifts, favors, dinners, kindness, or a good family will make her feel ATTRACTION… at best these things can only make her feel a more “loyal” kind of love.

So, if women don’t like “average” guys and the most important thing is to make her feel ATTRACTION towards you, then how do you do it?

I thought you’d never ask…

Let’s talk about the word “average” and what it REALLY means.

As far as women are concerned, and especially the ATTRACTIVE ones, men are EVERYWHERE. They’re like cars. Every once in awhile one stands out and makes you say, “Oh, that one is nice.”

A lot of guys take this concept too far and say “Well, I’m not rich, and I’m not famous… so, no really hot woman is going to find me attractive.”

My experience and research has shown me that women are far more ATTRACTED to things like attitude, confidence, body language, humor, etc. than looks or money. Sure, those things might INITIALLY get a woman’s attention, and there are those women that will only settle for a rich or unusually handsome guy… but, this is the extreme minority.

In fact, it’s very easy to be seen as “above average” if you know what women are looking for, and you know how to deliver.

Remember the danger: If you are perceived as “average” early on, then a switch goes off in her mind, and the game will be over before it’s even begun.

So, let’s do a little exercise…

Let’s figure out two things:

1) What most guys do that women see as “average”, and…

2) What you can do to instantly be seen as “ABOVE average” and, most importantly, ATTRACTIVE.

First, let’s talk about what most guys do in most situations (more specifically, what most guys do WRONG). Here are some of the things that I’ve seen…

If the setting is a bar or a club, most guys will either say, “Can I buy you a drink?”, “Wanna dance?”, or “Hey baby, how YOU doin’?”… or they do crass things like stare at women with wanting eyes or grab them as they walk by.

If the setting is a public place, like maybe a woman working at a clothing store, a waitress, or some other similar high-traffic situation, most guys will ask a lame question like “Do you have a boyfriend?” or “Can I take you out sometime?”

Ugh.

These kinds of approaches can only result in you being seen as another lame, average guy.

Here are a few ideas to try instead…

If you’re in a bar or club setting, try asking a woman or a group of women THEIR OPINION on something. I personally like this one:

“Hey, my friends and I were talking and we need a female perspective… What do you ladies think about this new trend of women being proud of paying their own way and buying their own things?”

Women will usually ENTHUSIASTICALLY join into a conversation like this one. (I personally like this topic because it starts off by talking about women taking care of themselves in a positive light, which sets the stage for not having to pay for a lot of things right up front!)

If you’re out in a public place, at a store where a woman is working or some other high-traffic place, you might try something like this:

After chatting about whatever business you’re doing there say, “Hey, are you single?”

I love this question! It’s such a shocker, and it says all the right things. Most guys say, “Do you have a boyfriend?” which is the usual question. “Are you single?” is much more forward, and most women have to do a double take to think for a moment.

If she pauses, I say, “I’ll take that as a YES…”, which is pretty funny and usually gets a laugh.

In either of these cases, it’s now time to get the digits and get out. You already know that I’m not a fan of standing around and trying to keep a conversation going for any longer than you have to.

So, after two or three minutes of small talk and general conversation, just go into the “3 Minute Phone Number” close that you’ve learned in an earlier newsletter or in my book…

Say, “It was nice talking to you, I’m going to get back to my friends… (or shopping, or whatever)” and as you turn away, turn back and say “Do you have email…?” etc.

These two scenarios are obviously very simple, and also very easy. I’ve had guys say to me, “Well, there’s nothing really that different about those approaches.”

Ah, but there is.

The most important difference is that you’re doing something COMPLETELY different than the other 47 guys who have approached her that day… and you also know EXACTLY what you’re going to do and say as the conversation progresses.

Of course, another thing you can do that will INSTANTLY separate you from the rest of the crowd is to use the idea of being Cocky & Funny, which I teach in my eBook  Double Your Dating.

This very unique approach has helped many of my thousands of readers to dramatically increase their success with women… and to no longer be seen as AVERAGE by women.

If you haven’t learned how to use the almost MAGICAL formula of being Cocky & Funny, or any of the literally hundreds of other techniques I teach, then you really need to get yourself a copy of my online eBook.

These two tools will DRAMATICALLY increase your success with women and dating.

You can download my online eBook here right now:

Double Your Dating

So go out this week, and DON’T BE AVERAGE ANY MORE.

Talk to you soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo