Riding the Tiger: Life Lessons From an HIV-Positive Therapist

Riding the Tiger: Life Lessons From an HIV-Positive Therapist http://www.thebody.com/content/62777/riding-the-tiger-life-lessons-from-an-hiv-positive.html A blog by David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W., at TheBody.com. http://img.thebody.com/images/mugs/david_blogbox.gif David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W. http://www.thebody.com/content/62777/riding-the-tiger-life-lessons-from-an-hiv-positive.html 115 145 For HIV and Addiction, the Time to Act Is Now http://www.thebody.com/content/76726/for-hiv-and-addiction-the-time-to-act-is-now.html These are exciting times for those of us working and living with HIV. There are promising new treatments in development, PrEP has added a significant additional resource to our prevention arsenal, and there is talk of seeing the end of the epidemic in our lifetimes. This optimism is reflected in major worldwide goals. UNAIDS, for example, has endorsed 90-90-90. That is, by 2020 at least 90% of people will know their status, 90% will receive sustained antiretroviral medication, and 90% will achieve a suppressed viral load. Policy reforms such as the National HIV/AIDS Policy acknowledge the role of stigma, mental health concerns, and health disparities.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/76726/for-hiv-and-addiction-the-time-to-act-is-now.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Tue, 24 Nov 2015 12:00:00 GMT A Healing Circle of Men: North Florida Manreach 2015 http://www.thebody.com/content/75780/a-healing-circle-of-men-north-florida-manreach-201.html The ball of string came flying through the air toward me. I caught it awkwardly, stated my name, said something about myself and then held on to my section of twine while tossing it to someone else across the room. Thirty-five men, many strangers to each other, sat around the circle at this weekend retreat in the woods. The recipient of my toss announced his name and gripped the string before throwing it back across the circle. Gradually a web of twine formed to connect all thirty-five men. It was a beautifully intricate pattern of geometric shapes that graphically exhibited the interconnectedness of the men who came together for this gathering.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/75780/a-healing-circle-of-men-north-florida-manreach-201.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Fri, 1 May 2015 10:14:00 GMT Stigma "Lite": The FDA's Revised Ban on Gay Blood Donors http://www.thebody.com/content/75358/stigma-lite-the-fdas-revised-ban-on-gay-blood-dono.html The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently revised its decades-old policy on a lifetime prohibition of gay men donating blood. This ban, rooted in the early days of the HIV epidemic when transmission was poorly understood and (full-blown crazy) levels of stigma and discrimination abounded, has long needed to change. For me, the revised guidelines represent minimal progress because they exclude any gay man who has had sex with another man in the last year.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/75358/stigma-lite-the-fdas-revised-ban-on-gay-blood-dono.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Mon, 5 Jan 2015 17:02:00 GMT The Grief That Keeps on Giving: Thoughts on HIV, Loss, and an Opportunity to Heal http://www.thebodypro.com/content/74897/the-grief-that-keeps-on-giving-thoughts-on-hiv-los.html I first heard the news that Malaysian Airlines flight 17 had been shot out of the sky at a stopover in Sydney, en route to the International AIDS Conference in Melbourne. I stared at the television in disbelief as the initial (and incorrect) coverage reported that as many as 100 conference delegates had been onboard. I felt numb even as the number of attendees on board dropped over the next few days to fifty and then, finally, to six, among them one of the world's leading HIV researchers from the Netherlands and an official of the World Health Organization.

]]> http://www.thebodypro.com/content/74897/the-grief-that-keeps-on-giving-thoughts-on-hiv-los.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Mon, 25 Aug 2014 17:24:00 GMT Aging (Gracefully?) With HIV: I Never Saw This Coming http://www.thebody.com/content/62777/riding-the-tiger-life-lessons-from-an-hiv-positive.html I recently passed a major milestone: a big, round-numbered birthday that, frankly, I never expected to reach. It was odd to arrive at this point in my life because, having lived with HIV for over thirty years, I had good reason to suspect that I would not celebrate this passage, or for that matter, birthdays that occurred decades earlier.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/62777/riding-the-tiger-life-lessons-from-an-hiv-positive.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Mon, 28 Apr 2014 01:15:00 GMT The Other HIV Stigma: An Inside Job http://www.thebody.com/content/73305/the-other-hiv-stigma-an-inside-job.html On World AIDS Day 2013, it is gratifying to see increased attention paid to stigma, which has a devastating impact on prevention, testing and treatment. Creative and thoughtful campaigns utilizing social media and other venues are beginning to make a difference. Some anti-stigma programs are even being mandated as part of international aid. While many programs don't yet effectively address institutional, governmental and religious power structures that perpetuate stigma, they are impacting education and skills to build empathy, each of which is extremely important.

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]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/73305/the-other-hiv-stigma-an-inside-job.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Tue, 26 Nov 2013 00:22:00 GMT This Again? New Opportunities to Disclose My HIV Status (or Not) http://www.thebody.com/content/73107/this-again-new-opportunities-to-disclose-my-hiv-st.html I have lived with HIV for so many years that the whole issue of disclosure seems moot. Every important person in my life knows my status, as do my colleagues, clients, and for that matter, anyone who comes across my postings on TheBody.com and The BodyPRO.com. I am well aware of the complexities of disclosure and work with others to address their concerns, but it has been a long time since I experienced the issue.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/73107/this-again-new-opportunities-to-disclose-my-hiv-st.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Tue, 29 Oct 2013 20:18:00 GMT Lessons Learned When the Labs Go Awry http://www.thebody.com/content/72635/lessons-learned-when-the-labs-go-awry.html It began simply enough. My doctor's office called to say that he wanted to speak with me directly about follow-up lab results. When pressed, the staff said he would not discuss anything over the phone. We scheduled an office visit for the next available appointment, several days away. Over the years I have received the same summons many times. They begin with a call stating that the doctor needs to see me in person. Memories of those calls came flooding back, along with an uncomfortable heavy sensation in my stomach. Some of those calls have been devastating (cancer), others were non-events. I hung up the phone, closed my eyes and tried to center myself, with little success.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/72635/lessons-learned-when-the-labs-go-awry.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Mon, 9 Sep 2013 11:39:00 GMT Flashback: Diana Ross in Central Park http://www.thebody.com/content/71539/flashback-diana-ross-in-central-park.html She arrived on the stage covered in colorful braids amid stylized African dancers. Drums played exotic rhythms as she unveiled herself before 800,000 people -- the largest in the history of Central Park. Dressed in a glittering orange suit with billowing fabric, Diana Ross welcomed the cheering masses as an ominous summer storm darkened the sky. She created a magic spell with song and, at one point, implored the audience to "make a wish and let it go." As dusk fell the winds picked up and sweeping veils of rain moved in over the park. Television cameras captured her soaked hair and face. Oblivious to the torrential downpour, she became one with the crowd.

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]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/71539/flashback-diana-ross-in-central-park.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Fri, 17 May 2013 13:21:00 GMT The Dark Side of "Poz Envy" http://www.thebody.com/content/69079/the-dark-side-of-poz-envy.html It began rather insignificantly but quickly escalated. The group which I had facilitated for several years consisted of ten to twelve gay men of all ages, most of whom were HIV negative. That night I mentioned a new service for people living with HIV and one man asked, "Why do the positive guys get everything? What about us negative guys?" Another group member spoke up about poz friends who were eligible for all kinds of support. He was indignant that he had been laid off, was struggling and, unlike "them," lacked access to community services such as food banks and housing assistance. Someone else expressed annoyance, and a fourth growled his protest. A strong and divisive vein of anger within the gay community had been exposed.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/69079/the-dark-side-of-poz-envy.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:10:00 GMT Living With HIV: Are We "Damaged Goods"? http://www.thebody.com/content/68755/living-with-hiv-are-we-damaged-goods.html Todd sat slumped on the sofa in my office. He avoided eye contact and described a particularly painful experience with stigma. He had recently come around the corner at his part-time job and heard several co-workers speaking about him and his HIV positive status. More specifically, they were discussing how he might have acquired the virus by speculating about the nature and frequency of his sexual activities. It was meant as a cheap laugh among themselves, but for Todd it meant much more. Although he made no effort to hide his HIV status and was "out" at the office about being gay, hearing his co-workers making disparaging remarks about his sex life and his health status in such explicit terms felt like a strong punch in his gut. He had a brief flash of anger, telling them to shut up, and then stormed out, pulling inward and automatically falling into the old habit of numbing himself by detaching from the emotional pain.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/68755/living-with-hiv-are-we-damaged-goods.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Wed, 15 Aug 2012 14:56:00 GMT Names on a Quilt http://www.thebody.com/content/68510/names-on-a-quilt.html Oppressive temperatures were hitting the century mark, adding to the surreal scenery surrounding me. The air was thick with dust and it was unnervingly still, portending the violent storm that would sweep through in just hours. Before me, in the bright afternoon sun, was a sea of AIDS Memorial Quilt panels carefully assembled on the mall in Washington. They seemed to stretch forever. In the distance the dome of the Capitol rose above the colorful sea of fabric. Behind me, a volunteer somberly read the unending list of individuals claimed by HIV/AIDS.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/68510/names-on-a-quilt.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Fri, 3 Aug 2012 14:50:00 GMT Positive Living 15: Connecting Hearts and Minds http://www.thebody.com/content/66400/positive-living-15-connecting-hearts-and-minds.html Several attendees drove fifteen hours from St. Louis. Others came by caravan from Atlanta. In the hotel lobby there were happy reunions of friends who hadn't seen each other since last year. Overall nearly four hundred and fifty people made their way from 22 states to the white sandy beaches of the Florida panhandle in early March. It was spring break, but their purpose was much more a matter of life and death. They were gathering for Positive Living 15, the largest conference in the nation specifically for people living with HIV.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/66400/positive-living-15-connecting-hearts-and-minds.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Mon, 26 Mar 2012 15:29:00 GMT Pain, Drugs and the Risks of Self-Medication http://www.thebody.com/content/65740/pain-drugs-and-the-risks-of-self-medication.html Even the bed sheet touching my skin was intolerable. The sharp pain was centered in my toes and had kept me sleepless for three nights in a row. It was the worst neuropathy I had ever experienced and I was near despair. My only relief was to lower my feet and sit up in a chair trying to sleep. That was my situation last year when, for some unknown reason, my neuropathic pain suddenly escalated. Over the years I had been relatively lucky. I had become accustomed to numb and tingly feet but I had rarely experienced such severe discomfort. Only on one other occasion, when I broke a toe, had the nerves in my feet rebelled with excruciating stinging which had lasted for months.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/65740/pain-drugs-and-the-risks-of-self-medication.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:21:00 GMT Creating a Vision for 2012 http://www.thebody.com/content/65377/creating-a-vision-for-2012.html As the old year rolls over it's natural to review how well our lives have functioned during the past 12 months. Many of us take the opportunity to make resolutions about changing our behavior. These often concern diet, getting to the gym, or cutting back on other things that might not contribute to our health. This well-intentioned exercise often collapses, falling away within weeks (or even days) as our resolve and the routines of daily living once again intrude into our hope that this year will be different.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/65377/creating-a-vision-for-2012.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Thu, 12 Jan 2012 07:45:00 GMT Under The Radar: Mental Health and HIV Risk http://www.thebody.com/content/64830/under-the-radar-mental-health-and-hiv-risk.html Getting the level of new infections down to zero will require breakthroughs not only in medications and improved interventions, but also a broadening of our understanding about the underlying causes of high-risk behaviors which can increase vulnerability for HIV, specifically, mental health concerns.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/64830/under-the-radar-mental-health-and-hiv-risk.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Mon, 21 Nov 2011 11:00:00 GMT "Supersized Alcopops": The Dangers of Excessive Alcohol Consumption for People Living With HIV http://www.thebody.com/content/64566/supersized-alcopops-the-dangers-of-excessive-alcoh.html Public apprehension about recreational drugs, especially those that impact HIV, seems to come in waves that swell with increasing alarm and then peak and fade away, always to be replaced by the next "drug du jour." Heroin, cocaine, and methamphetamine, each with a well-deserved reputation for putting people at risk for HIV or, if HIV positive, for interfering with their ability to properly manage their health, have all gained notoriety in recent years.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/64566/supersized-alcopops-the-dangers-of-excessive-alcoh.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:13:00 GMT "Let Them Die"? The Dangers of Losing Compassion http://www.thebody.com/content/64212/let-them-die-the-dangers-of-losing-compassion.html Several widely-televised incidents recently exemplified the harsh and frightening polarization we are experiencing in our society. The first was at the Republican debate at the Reagan Presidential Library where the audience spontaneously clapped and cheered when Governor Rick Perry's record of 234 executions was discussed. The second was a clear shout from the audience of "let them die" when Representative Ron Paul was asked hypothetically if he would treat an uninsured individual who required medical attention. For me, these were stunning moments of disbelief.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/64212/let-them-die-the-dangers-of-losing-compassion.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Fri, 30 Sep 2011 17:23:00 GMT Volunteering Can Make You Healthy and Happy http://www.thebody.com/content/63070/volunteering-can-make-you-healthy-and-happy.html Did you know that giving your time and effort on behalf of someone else can actually improve your mood and overall health? Although it sounds too good to be true, that is the conclusion of a number of studies on a variety of populations from around the world. Scientists are still unraveling the specifics, but there are some intriguing clues documenting the health benefits of volunteering.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/63070/volunteering-can-make-you-healthy-and-happy.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Wed, 20 Jul 2011 16:10:00 GMT Living Longer by Living With Purpose http://www.thebody.com/content/62776/living-longer-by-living-with-purpose.html Some years ago a friend of mine sold his successful veterinary practice in the Midwest, bought a van, and headed to California to pursue his lifelong dream of writing music. People no doubt thought he had lost his mind, or at least regressed from being a responsible adult to a frivolous adolescent searching for himself. Years later, he has had some success with his music, but most of all, he has experienced the thrilling notion that he followed his heart.

Not all of us, of course, have the opportunity to drop out of our lives and begin anew, but we all certainly have the chance to discover what gives our life meaning and follow it to our best ability. The daily satisfaction is enormous, and so are the health benefits. A study at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago found that people who followed their life's purpose were only about half as likely to die over the follow-up period as compared to people who expressed less sense of purpose. These findings have been replicated in other studies: following your dreams is a protective factor for your health.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/62776/living-longer-by-living-with-purpose.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Wed, 6 Jul 2011 19:15:00 GMT Gay Pride Is an Inside Job http://www.thebody.com/content/62532/gay-pride-is-an-inside-job.html During my sophomore year in college I was as far from gay and proud as I could be. It was the mid-1970s and, despite a relaxed campus atmosphere, I felt wildly out of place among other students enjoying their first taste of adulthood. I had a deeply-buried secret: I was a homosexual. My attraction to other men went back as far as I could remember, although I had never acted on those urges or dared to verbalize them out loud. They were deeply buried under shame and stigma, and it was about to get worse.

One glorious autumn day I arrived for a sociology class I was taking called "Social Deviance." We had already covered various aspects of criminal behavior, including sex crimes. A huge pit opened in my stomach when the professor announced that on that day we would be discussing yet another category of social deviance: homosexuality. I know my face flushed and my heart began beating wildly. Would any of the students sitting around me realize there was a deviant among them? That day the professor even invited several "real" homosexuals to speak to the class in an attempt to humanize their struggle. But for me, discussing homosexuality in the context of social deviance confirmed my deepest belief that what I felt was so wrong I could never reveal it with another soul.

]]> http://www.thebody.com/content/62532/gay-pride-is-an-inside-job.html davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) Tue, 14 Jun 2011 19:15:00 GMT