Riding the Tiger: Life Lessons From an HIV-Positive Therapist

Flashback: Diana Ross in Central Park

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Fri, 17 May 2013 13:21:00 GMT

She arrived on the stage covered in colorful braids amid stylized African dancers. Drums played exotic rhythms as she unveiled herself before 800,000 people -- the largest in the history of Central Park. Dressed in a glittering orange suit with billowing fabric, Diana Ross welcomed the cheering masses as an ominous summer storm darkened the sky. She created a magic spell with song and, at one point, implored the audience to "make a wish and let it go." As dusk fell the winds picked up and sweeping veils of rain moved in over the park. Television cameras captured her soaked hair and face. Oblivious to the torrential downpour, she became one with the crowd.

The Dark Side of "Poz Envy"

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 06:10:00 GMT

It began rather insignificantly but quickly escalated. The group which I had facilitated for several years consisted of ten to twelve gay men of all ages, most of whom were HIV negative. That night I mentioned a new service for people living with HIV and one man asked, "Why do the positive guys get everything? What about us negative guys?" Another group member spoke up about poz friends who were eligible for all kinds of support. He was indignant that he had been laid off, was struggling and, unlike "them," lacked access to community services such as food banks and housing assistance. Someone else expressed annoyance, and a fourth growled his protest. A strong and divisive vein of anger within the gay community had been exposed.

Living With HIV: Are We "Damaged Goods"?

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 14:56:00 GMT

Todd sat slumped on the sofa in my office. He avoided eye contact and described a particularly painful experience with stigma. He had recently come around the corner at his part-time job and heard several co-workers speaking about him and his HIV positive status. More specifically, they were discussing how he might have acquired the virus by speculating about the nature and frequency of his sexual activities. It was meant as a cheap laugh among themselves, but for Todd it meant much more. Although he made no effort to hide his HIV status and was "out" at the office about being gay, hearing his co-workers making disparaging remarks about his sex life and his health status in such explicit terms felt like a strong punch in his gut. He had a brief flash of anger, telling them to shut up, and then stormed out, pulling inward and automatically falling into the old habit of numbing himself by detaching from the emotional pain.

Names on a Quilt

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Fri, 3 Aug 2012 14:50:00 GMT

Oppressive temperatures were hitting the century mark, adding to the surreal scenery surrounding me. The air was thick with dust and it was unnervingly still, portending the violent storm that would sweep through in just hours. Before me, in the bright afternoon sun, was a sea of AIDS Memorial Quilt panels carefully assembled on the mall in Washington. They seemed to stretch forever. In the distance the dome of the Capitol rose above the colorful sea of fabric. Behind me, a volunteer somberly read the unending list of individuals claimed by HIV/AIDS.

Positive Living 15: Connecting Hearts and Minds

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 15:29:00 GMT

Several attendees drove fifteen hours from St. Louis. Others came by caravan from Atlanta. In the hotel lobby there were happy reunions of friends who hadn't seen each other since last year. Overall nearly four hundred and fifty people made their way from 22 states to the white sandy beaches of the Florida panhandle in early March. It was spring break, but their purpose was much more a matter of life and death. They were gathering for Positive Living 15, the largest conference in the nation specifically for people living with HIV.

Pain, Drugs and the Risks of Self-Medication

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:21:00 GMT

Even the bed sheet touching my skin was intolerable. The sharp pain was centered in my toes and had kept me sleepless for three nights in a row. It was the worst neuropathy I had ever experienced and I was near despair. My only relief was to lower my feet and sit up in a chair trying to sleep. That was my situation last year when, for some unknown reason, my neuropathic pain suddenly escalated. Over the years I had been relatively lucky. I had become accustomed to numb and tingly feet but I had rarely experienced such severe discomfort. Only on one other occasion, when I broke a toe, had the nerves in my feet rebelled with excruciating stinging which had lasted for months.

Creating a Vision for 2012

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 07:45:00 GMT

As the old year rolls over it's natural to review how well our lives have functioned during the past 12 months. Many of us take the opportunity to make resolutions about changing our behavior. These often concern diet, getting to the gym, or cutting back on other things that might not contribute to our health. This well-intentioned exercise often collapses, falling away within weeks (or even days) as our resolve and the routines of daily living once again intrude into our hope that this year will be different.

Under The Radar: Mental Health and HIV Risk

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 11:00:00 GMT

Getting the level of new infections down to zero will require breakthroughs not only in medications and improved interventions, but also a broadening of our understanding about the underlying causes of high-risk behaviors which can increase vulnerability for HIV, specifically, mental health concerns.

"Supersized Alcopops": The Dangers of Excessive Alcohol Consumption for People Living With HIV

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 10:13:00 GMT

Public apprehension about recreational drugs, especially those that impact HIV, seems to come in waves that swell with increasing alarm and then peak and fade away, always to be replaced by the next "drug du jour." Heroin, cocaine, and methamphetamine, each with a well-deserved reputation for putting people at risk for HIV or, if HIV positive, for interfering with their ability to properly manage their health, have all gained notoriety in recent years.

"Let Them Die"? The Dangers of Losing Compassion

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Fri, 30 Sep 2011 17:23:00 GMT

Several widely-televised incidents recently exemplified the harsh and frightening polarization we are experiencing in our society. The first was at the Republican debate at the Reagan Presidential Library where the audience spontaneously clapped and cheered when Governor Rick Perry's record of 234 executions was discussed. The second was a clear shout from the audience of "let them die" when Representative Ron Paul was asked hypothetically if he would treat an uninsured individual who required medical attention. For me, these were stunning moments of disbelief.

Volunteering Can Make You Healthy and Happy

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 16:10:00 GMT

Did you know that giving your time and effort on behalf of someone else can actually improve your mood and overall health? Although it sounds too good to be true, that is the conclusion of a number of studies on a variety of populations from around the world. Scientists are still unraveling the specifics, but there are some intriguing clues documenting the health benefits of volunteering.

Living Longer by Living With Purpose

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Wed, 6 Jul 2011 19:15:00 GMT

Some years ago a friend of mine sold his successful veterinary practice in the Midwest, bought a van, and headed to California to pursue his lifelong dream of writing music. People no doubt thought he had lost his mind, or at least regressed from being a responsible adult to a frivolous adolescent searching for himself. Years later, he has had some success with his music, but most of all, he has experienced the thrilling notion that he followed his heart.

Not all of us, of course, have the opportunity to drop out of our lives and begin anew, but we all certainly have the chance to discover what gives our life meaning and follow it to our best ability. The daily satisfaction is enormous, and so are the health benefits. A study at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago found that people who followed their life's purpose were only about half as likely to die over the follow-up period as compared to people who expressed less sense of purpose. These findings have been replicated in other studies: following your dreams is a protective factor for your health.

Gay Pride Is an Inside Job

davidfawcett@earthlink.net (David Fawcett, Ph.D., L.C.S.W.) — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 19:15:00 GMT

During my sophomore year in college I was as far from gay and proud as I could be. It was the mid-1970s and, despite a relaxed campus atmosphere, I felt wildly out of place among other students enjoying their first taste of adulthood. I had a deeply-buried secret: I was a homosexual. My attraction to other men went back as far as I could remember, although I had never acted on those urges or dared to verbalize them out loud. They were deeply buried under shame and stigma, and it was about to get worse.

One glorious autumn day I arrived for a sociology class I was taking called "Social Deviance." We had already covered various aspects of criminal behavior, including sex crimes. A huge pit opened in my stomach when the professor announced that on that day we would be discussing yet another category of social deviance: homosexuality. I know my face flushed and my heart began beating wildly. Would any of the students sitting around me realize there was a deviant among them? That day the professor even invited several "real" homosexuals to speak to the class in an attempt to humanize their struggle. But for me, discussing homosexuality in the context of social deviance confirmed my deepest belief that what I felt was so wrong I could never reveal it with another soul.