1. Recognize .

When you are worried or stressed out or unable to concentrate, pause.  Identify what’s really wrong.  (e.g. “I’m worried that….X, Y, Z.”)

2.  Identify the real fear underlying your apparent concerns.

When you stop and think about, what are you really afraid of here?  Keep asking “why?” until you get to the real reason (Hint:  it is likely to come down to a fear of loss of love, security, and/or status).

4.  Challenge this fear.  Do you know for a fact this is true?

For example, if you are fearful that

What would you like to do with 2027?

Some people like to set specific goals for the New Year.  Others prefer to give some general attention to a particular area of their life.  Keith’s priority in 2027 is to focus on his health.  Maria’s is to relax.  Maybe you’d like to travel.  Or learn.  Or create.  Or do good deeds.  Perhaps you’d like this to be the “Year of Fun”.  Maybe you’ve been overly career driven and this is the year you’ve like to give more attention to your home life.

It’s entirely up to you:  What would you like to experience this year?  What’s important to you?  What would you like to explore or learn?  What would you like to accomplish, acquire, or complete?

The beginning of a New Year is a terrific time to pause and ask yourself these questions.  New Year’s Eve is more than just a festive excuse to party…it’s a chance for a fresh start.  Kinda like pressing a personal “re-start button.”  If you choose to do so, you can use the opportunity to look back at the preceding year and take stock of your present circumstances.  You can identify what’s working well for you and what’s not.  You can make thoughtful, purposeful decisions about how to live the next twelve months.  With a little forethought, New Year’s Eve can be a pivot point to do more of what you love and less of what you don’t.

If this sounds appealing, I’ve developed a workbook to guide you through a process to make the most of the coming year.  It’s completely up to you:  What would you like to do, experience, explore, learn, accomplish, acquire, or complete in 2027?

Note the emphasis on you.  You.  Not what your Mom or your boss or your childhood chum might want.  What kind of year would you like 2027 to be?  What matters to you at this point in your life?

What would it mean to you if you made the most of 2027?

Whatever your desires for 2027, I can help.  I’m an author, life coach, and Ph.D. in Psychology who has spent the past twenty years helping people get things done, get organized, and get more out of life.  I’ve coached individuals, facilitated groups, and taught inventive workshops on four continents.

I’ve designed this book so you can get the most out of 2026.  Think of it as a personal seminar with a recognized expert, tailored to your unique circumstances and preferences.  Inside this workbook are proven tools you can work through at your own pace to foster whatever is important to you.

That’s what makes this book special.  It’s a flexible guide that will elicit different responses in everyone who uses it.  It’s up to you to apply your distinctive perspective to create and implement a plan suitable to your particular circumstances.

Think of it as a Self-Guided Workshop you can work through at your own pace to:

• understand and appreciate 2026
• generate ideas for all areas of your life
• identify your true top priorities for 2027
• make achievable plans for 2027
• keep yourself on track all year

A Word About “Resolutions”

The way most people do traditional “New Year’s Resolutions” is not very effective.  They tend to be overblown “To Do” lists that become a source of unnecessary frustration.  They can be overwhelming or intimidating.  They often become abandoned which can cause guilt, shame, and a sense of failure.

The alternative is to create a prudent plan that can be reasonably implemented, given your specific circumstances.  That’s the purpose of this workbook.

If you’ve been disappointed by past attempts at “New Year’s Resolutions”, let me reassure you.  As a life coach, I’ve developed proven techniques for you to figure out what you want and then devise achievable plans to make that happen.

Maybe you’d like to set some specific goals.  Perhaps you’d like to solve a problem.  Or participate in some key activities to enhance your life.  Or establish new habits or practices that are uniquely gratifying to you.  It could be that you have an unfulfilled dream or an unfinished project on which you are yearning to make some progress.  Maybe you’d like to reduce or eliminate an unhelpful or unhealthy habit.

It’s up to you.  Using this workbook as a guide, you have the opportunity to figure out what’s right for you, right now, to make the most of 2027 — then devise achievable plans suitable to your particular circumstances. 

Give yourself — or someone else — the give of a wonderful 2027!  Hardcover, paperback & eBook formats available here: https://bit.ly/MakeTheMostOf2027

By André Karwath aka Aka [CC BY-SA 2.5 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], from Wikimedia Commons

If you want to do more, do less.

It doesn’t matter how massive or complicated your creative project is. At a given instant, you can only focus on one aspect of it.

It doesn’t matter how many projects, activities and ideas you are juggling. At a given instant, you can only do one thing.

“Oh no, not me,” you may insist. “I’m a multi-tasker. Right now, while I’m reading this, I’m also composing a song, thinking about a terrific new product line and texting my mom.”

No, you’re not. You may be toggling among those different activities every second . . . but at a given instant you are doing only one of them. And by toggling so quickly among them, you’re not doing any of them particularly well.

Frankly, you’re being unnecessarily hard on yourself. It’s much easier to focus on one thing at a time. And here’s the good news:  when you stop trying to do everything at the same instant — when you focus on just one activity at a time, you will get more done, more easily, with less stress.

Let me repeat that — on the off chance you’re, say, Zooming with a client, weaving a tapestry, and watching a DVD while you’re reading this.

Benefits of Focusing on One Thing at a Time

1.  It’s easy.

2.  You’ll get more done.

3.  You’ll get things done more easily.

4.  You’ll reduce stress.

5.  You’ll feel better.

6.  You’ll be more pleasant to be around.

How to Focus

1.  Identify and remove distractions. 

What interrupts your focus?  Be candid. Is it email?  The phone? Internet surfing?  The piles of half done projects piled around you?  Your ‘to do’ list(s)? Social media? Apps on your phone?  Other people?

Take a moment to write down what tends to interfere with you sticking to one thing at time. Now, brainstorm ways to remove or reduce those temptations.

Block out specific times to deal with whatever needs to be done (e.g. check your email, return phone calls, etc.)

2.  Pick something to do. 

What’s your top priority right now?

3.  Set a timer for 50 minutes.

Devote the next 50 minutes to doing only your top priority.  If something else comes up during this interval — let’s say you get a great idea, make note of it quickly, then get right back to the task at hand.

4.  Give yourself a break.

Take five or ten minutes to do whatever you need to do — rest, eat, jump up and down, stretch, feed your pet, stuff a load of laundry in the washer, read, listen to a great song — whatever.

5.  Reset your timer.

Focus on your top priority for another fifty minutes.  This might be the same task you were working on in the previous focus session — or it might be a new priority. You choose what makes sense for you do work on for this next fifty minutes.

6.  Take a break.

7.  Repeat. 

Try this “Focus” approach this week and see how it works for you.

***

Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Susan [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Without breaking stride, I scooped up one up and headed directly to the cash, rationalizing as I went.  Hey, I enjoy living in a clean and tidy house….even better when I don’t have to do the cleaning.  This was a logical, labor-free way to maintain my floors and to keep the dog dander at bay.

As it turns out, I’ve been pleased with my purchase. This appliance makes floor maintenance an easy, daily practice. It entertains my dogs as it does so. What I didn’t expect was this appliance demonstrates numerous lessons about the creative process. For example:

1.  Start when you’ve got plenty of energy.

Before Roomba can work, its batteries need to be charged. Same goes for any smart, creative person. You do yourself a disservice whenever you begin a creative project or activity when you’re fatigued. Those first few hours of the morning when you are fresh and well-rested are best invested in whatever is most important to you.

2.  Start before you have everything figured out.

You can plunk Roomba anywhere and push the ‘start’ button. It doesn’t know the size or shape of the room to be vacuumed but it begins anyway. It doesn’t hesitate or procrastinate or bury itself in research — it just starts working. You can too. It doesn’t matter where you start the creative process, so long as you do start.

3.  Figure things out, as you go.

As Roomba cleans, it maps the room, keeping track of where it’s been and where it hasn’t. You can too. Map your creative project as you go. Keep track of what’s working well and what isn’t.  very day, identify the next few steps you can take.  ou don’t have to figure out every detail beforehand — it’s much easier to figure things out as you proceed.

4.  Enthusiasm helps.

When Roomba starts to vacuum, it trumpets a happy song that, to me, sounds like “I’m here to clean!” This is preferable to the human equivalent in a similar situation which is apt to be a groan like “Oh, God! I have to clean. Again!”  Which sounds better to you? Which is going to have the better impact on your creativity? Which is more motivating to the creative process? Strive to begin every session of your creative work with enthusiasm. “Yay! I get to write/paint/sculpt/code!” rather than “Ugh! I’ve gotta do this now.”

5.  Focus!

Roomba does one thing at a time. It vacuums. It doesn’t clean while talking on the phone while checking its email while doing the laundry while composing an opera. You will get more done and do it better, with less stress if you avoid distractions and focus on doing only one thing at a time.

6.  Ask for help when you need it.

When Roomba gets stuck in a corner, it literally asks for assistance. It emits a sad tone and a very clear message like “Please clean brushes” or “Move Roomba to a new location.” You can do the same with your creative projects. When you encounter obstacles to your creative process, enlist the help of relevant others.

7.  Keep your batteries charged.

When Roomba’s batteries are depleted, it emits some ominous tones and the request, “Please charge Roomba”.

When you’re feeling your energy dip significantly, it’s important to your creativity to rest and recharge.  An over-fatigued person doesn’t create much. Take good care of your body, mind, and spirit. Ideally, spend time in nature every week as an easy way to re-energize.

Equally vital to the creative process:   you must seek creative input on a regular basis.  It’s vital to your creative expression.

8.  Dump your garbage.  Regularly.

Roomba collects debris in a small garbage container that needs to be emptied after every use.  If only we did the same.  The sooner you jettison whatever garbage you’re carrying — like regrets, disappointments and perceived ‘mistakes’ — the better your creative work will be.

9.  Keep going.

Assuming it has sufficient charge, Roomba keeps operating until it’s finished cleaning a room. This kind of persistence is critical to the creative process, especially on long-term projects. Especially for multi-talented people who have no shortage of things to do.  The greatest challenge for us DaVincis is to keep going until a project is complete — especially that last five or ten percent.

10.  Celebrate your success.

When Roomba completes cleaning a room, it emits a joyous tune that, to me, sounds like “And now that I am done here, I will sing my song!”  To keep your creative juices flowing, its important to honor key milestones and accomplishments.  If you don’t pat yourself on the back for your good work, its unreasonable to expect anyone else will do so.

***

For more tips and techniques, check out my workbook  BE MORE CREATIVE:  101 Activities to Unleash and Grow Your Creativity

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

The most common complaint I hear from DaVincis — smart, creative people juggling too many talents, projects and ideas — is that ‘there are not enough hours in the day’.  (“I’ve got way too much to do and am not making progress on any of it!”)

If that sounds like you, let me reassure you:  Yes, your life is full. Yes you have a lot going on. And yes there ARE enough hours in the day…at least there is enough time each day to make progress on whatever is important to you.

If you’re like most DaVincis, you may be acutely aware of what’s NOT getting done — while you simultaneously downplay whatever you do accomplish. The net result is that you feel lousy no matter what you do. You often feel angst or guilt or frustration about the undone things on your ‘to do’ list. You are sentencing yourself to a state of chronic dissatisfaction.

There is also a tendency to blow things up — to overgeneralize to the point of despair.  (“Nothing’s getting done!”) Let’s start by disputing your statement with the truth:   Unless you are lying comatose 24/7, SOMETHING is getting done. Maybe not as much as you would like, but you are engaging in activities throughout the day. Maybe it’s time to pay attention to what you ARE doing, rather than fretting about what you aren’t.

Try this practice, from creativity guru Julia Cameron:  Every night, write out your ‘Ta Da’ list. Chronicle everything you did, big and small. The idea is to train yourself to shift focus to what you ARE accomplishing and to appreciate what you ARE getting done. The more you do, the better you’ll feel about yourself and your accomplishments . . . and the more you’re likely to do, going forward.

Another issue is that DaVincis tend to set unrealistic expectations of what can be accomplished during a particular time frame. There’s a tendency to over-schedule which means some things don’t get done. You may have crossed twenty things off your ‘to do’ list today . . .but there are thirty items outstanding, which seems like failure.

If this sounds like you, try adjusting your expectations by choosing minimal daily goals. Each morning, ask:  What one or two things do I want to accomplish today?

That’s your new daily ‘to do’ list.  Yes, you can do more — just do these one or two things first.  At the end of the day, make sure you got them done. Anything else is gravy.  The idea here is that, when you consistently get your minimal daily goals done, you’ll feel better and you’ll be more likely to get more done.

Once you start to shift your perspective to set achievable goals and to acknowledge what you ARE getting done, you will begin to see that there ARE enough hours in the day.  Once you believe that, the next step is to do prioritize what you do with the time you have available:  Make that one or two things you set out to do IMPORTANT. Ask yourself:  What are the one or two most important things I could do today?

It might be a matter of starting. More likely, you need to continue. Perhaps there’s something that needs finishing. What’s one step can you take today on whatever is most important to you?

At the end of the week, reflect back on what you got done.  If you’re like most of my coaching clients, you’ll feel much more satisfied with your accomplishments and with your present life balance. It won’t be perfect.  (Spoiler alert:  It will never be *perfect*). But it will be ‘better’.

Anytime you begin to think, “There aren’t enough hours in the day,” consider this from author Mike Dooley: “There’s so much time in a day. You could have breakfast, lunch, and dinner on 3 different continents. You could outline the book you’re going to write, start the screenplay adaptation, and watch “Gone With The Wind,” before the sun even sets. Spend a day at work, and still have 16 hours left over . . . Hey, the record for climbing Mt. Everest is under 9 hours, leaving 15 to nap and go Yeti searching. There’s so much time in a day. So much. . . .”

***

Activity:  What one or two important things would you like to do today?

Bonus Activity:  Do them.

***

For more, check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

 

***

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In the luxury of an open schedule, rituals or daily habits or regimes give us anchors.

Caution #1:  don’t pile everything at the same time of day – spread your regimes throughout the day for maximum benefit.  Perhaps you meditate in the morning and late afternoon.  Perhaps you refert to your reminder cards first thing.  Maybe you do your gratitude exercise at night.

It’s easy enough to generate a list of the things we’d really like to do on a daily basis.  It’s harder to implement successfully.

Option 1:  add new habits one at a time.  Do it for a month, monitoring your progress.  Then add the next thing

Option 2:  implement it all – but making sure you’re starting w/ minimus

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

Jim analogy

I’m talking about those bad boys you love — your own talents and ideas.

You’ve committed to finish writing that book by the end of the month. But it’s hard to concentrate when your other ideas are having a party want you to come. It looks like a lot more fun where they are, free as the wind, than the tough slog you’re going through right now.

But beware…that kind of “fun” is how you wake up in your underwear in a strange hotel married to the stranger next to you. Um, figuratively.

Or crowded Starbucks, noisy airport — totally engrossed

when you hate what you are doing, no environenmt is conducive

When you love it, anyplace will do

Good test for whether or not you are on the right path – T exercise (link to other post)

Or, how could you make yourself love what you are doing, if you have to do it anyway?

1. just get started. Often just plain resisitance is all that needs handling and once you are immersed you are fine, and may even be having fun

2. visualize the positive outcome — the feeling of accomplishment, the pleasure of your client if it is work for someone else, or the reaction from your adoring fans

3. use pomodoro — you only have to do it 30 min at a time

Explain the T exercise

It’s not just for whole professions you do and don’t like but also aspects of it

example – in my current work I hate sales calls — but I love speaking. When i speak clients come to me — so no selling. And when I sell from the stage, I celebrate the 20% who do buy, and don’t notice the people who don’t buy. So that gives me guidance

give yourself permission to do less of what you don’t like. Delegate it or find another way to achieve the goal, or give it up

I discovered that the problem is that there is more than one of me.

In my work as a copywriter, I do some freelancing for a company called EMyth. EMyth is a coaching company for owners of businesses $10M and above that sprang from the classic book on entrepreneurship, The EMyth Revisited.

One of the main principles covered in the book is that every business owner has three personalities:  The Entrepreneur who is the visionary and the leader, the Manager who organizes the people and resources to execute on the vision, and the Technician who does the work. In this scenario, the Entrepreneur is the owner of a chain of bakeries, the Manager is in charge of the stores, the employees and ordering flour, etc. and the Technicians actually bake the pies.

According to the book, all three personalities are necessary at one time or another. The problem comes when you’re wearing the wrong hat for the wrong job.

As DaVincis, we fall into a couple of categories. Most of us love to be visionaries and creative thinkers, which makes us natural Entrepreneurs. Others just want to be Technicians and be left alone to make things. But in many cases — and in my case, I found I was definitely missing the Manager.

The Three Personalities: Are You Missing One?

My personalities include someone I call Limitless Lisa. Limitless Lisa has a million ideas and loves thinking about possibilities. She’s the one who’s tapped into the creative wellpring of the Universe. She’s also confident that she can succeed, and has visions of the impact her work can have on the wider world.

But there’s also Little Lisa. Little Lisa is the worker bee, and she has a totally different personality. She’s the writer, the artist and the freelancer. She’s got a lot of talent but she doesn’t always believe in it. She’s desperate to be liked, so sometimes she doesn’t charge enough… then resents having to work so hard for so little. She’s fearful there won’t be enough work or enough money. She puts things off because she’s fearful she won’t be able to do them perfectly, or simply because she doesn’t “feel like” doing them right now. She has no idea how to manage her time. To be honest, sometimes she cuts corners because she’s run out of time. However, when she applies herself, she always produces great work.

So if I had a Manager in between Limitless Lisa and Little Lisa (let’s call her Let’s Get ‘er Done Lisa) she’d know how to manage Little Lisa to get the best results. She wouldn’t be a scold or a slave driver, because she’s practical, not mean, and she knows that wouldn’t work anyway.

Instead, she’d remind Little Lisa of all the things she’s already accomplished and that she has what it takes to do a great job. She’d give her clear tasks and a schedule on the calendar for when the work needed to get done. She’d check in often to see how it’s going and make sure Little Lisa’s staying on track and not getting lost in distractions and worries. But she’d also recognize that Little Lisa needs praise and acknowledgement and give it to her at every opportunity. She’d notice that Little Lisa likes things to be fun and not boring, so she’d come up with ways to make the work less onerous, more interesting and give her permission to take healthy breaks. And she’d remind Little Lisa how even the small (and sometimes tedious) things she’s doing every day are contributing to the big vision of the company.

Now, I know many people advocate hiring project managers who are NOT you to handle these things in your business. I actually have a virtual assistant who does some work for me. But no matter who else I hire, the three Lisas still need to be operating at their best, and be staying in their lanes.

So, I’ve decided to hire Let’s Get ‘er Done Lisa full time. The three of us are going to have regular meetings — at least weekly; maybe even daily to start. The hope is that everyone gets to be their best selves, appreciates one another’s unique talents and accepts each other as they are. I look forward to doing great things together!

Can I make an edit and save it now that I have updated WordPress?

Are you still getting it?

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• Are you paying attention to what you are experiencing?

It doesn’t make much sense fussing over a meal if you don’t actually taste it. Shoveling food into your gullet while simultaneoulsy watching TV, surfing the ‘net, and managing your family

As multi-talented people juggling too many projects and ideas, we’ve learned (the hard way) that we can only focus on one thing at a time.

• Do you practice mindfulness?

Meditation is one of the simplest ways to improve your health, reduce stress and restore balance to your life.

• Are you learning, growing, developing?
• Are you listening to music?
• Are you creating?
• Are you playing? (are you enjoying)
• Are you resting and relaxing?

***

Check out my workbook: YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE:  A Workbook to Become the Person You Want to Be. Available here: http://bit.ly/ChangeYourLifeWorkbook

***

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

1.  It gives you purpose.
2. Creating is gratifyig.
3. Creating allows you to explore yourself, your life and your world — in unexpected wyas
4. Creativity fosters novel, diverse solutions to problems and situations
5. There are health benefits
6. It is a fundamental human need.
7. It makes you more interesting.
8. It can foster deeper bonds with others.
9. It’s a natural high.
10. it uses your brain.
11. it allows you to learn
12. it allows you to acquire and hone skills
13. it may have value to others
14. It can enrich your life
15. Vivid dreams
16. Unexpected adventures
17. can channel energy into more productive ways (break a bbad habit, eg)

The dangers of creativity

1. Fear is inherent in the process
2. Tough to separate the generative elements from the evaluating/judging of things as they emerge
3. Likely mood swings
4. Tendency to indulge in self-medicating in unhealthy ways

Duchovny’s first novel, Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale, was released February 3, 2015 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

Now he’s turning his attention to music, and will be releasing his first album later this year.

http://www.billboard.com/articles/news/6517077/x-files-star-david-duchovny-announces-debut-album-hell-or-highwater

Given human nature, then, test again

Ed Yourdon [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

If you said, “I don’t have the energy.”

All the more reason to take better care of yourself. As you improve your health, you’ll have the energy to do a great deal.

If you said, “I don’t have time”:

Find the time.  Here’s how.

Besides, being healthy doesn’t have to take a great deal of time.  Here are ten health tips:

Ten Simple, Easy, Quick Things You Can To Improve Your Health

1.  Drink Water.

Humans are at least 60% water. Our brains are 70% water. Every bodily system requires water to function properly. The simplest, easiest thing you can to do improve your health is to add a glass of water to your mealtimes and break times.

Don’t like the taste of plain water? Try adding a splash of juice or a slice of cucumber or a sprig of mint.  Herbal tea also counts as water — and there are dozens of flavors available. Try a few and find some you like.

2.  Aim for 7 Hours of Sleep a Night

Research has shown that seven hours is the optimum amount of sleep for the human body. If you sleep more or less than seven hours, you’re not operating at your peak performance. To improve your health, shift towards the ideal of seven hours by increasing (or decreasing) your sleep time by 15 minutes this week, 15 minutes more next week and so on until you’ve gradually changed to a seven hour pattern.

3.  Eat mindfully.

Rather than shoveling food in your gullet while you’re driving, working or watching television, make meal times a real break in the day. Sit down when you eat and do nothing else but focus on your meal.  Slow down. Breathe. Put your fork down between mouthfuls. (If you’d like more ideas about mindful eating, check out my book: https://bit.ly/OvercomeEmotionalEatingBook)

4.  Eat well.

You know if you’re eating junk or not. Your body needs protein, fiber, fruits and vegetables. The farther down the food chain, the better something is for you. Locally grown ingredients are more nutritious than items that have been trucked across the country.

You know if you’re overeating or not. Look at yourself. Are you pleased with your physique? If you’re overweight, studies have proven that there is only one effective way to change things:  by eating less. Cut your portions by 10% and improve your health considerably.

5.  Imbibe responsibly.

If you’re overdoing your libations, do your body and your brain a favor by cutting down.

6. Take a 5 Minute Stretch Break at least once a day.

Need some instruction?  Here are some basic stretches to try.

7.  Strengthen Your Body

Just eight minutes a day of simple strength exercises can have a huge impact on your health, including your bone density. If you’re not sure how to start, browse some beginner YouTube videos.

8.  Move your body

If you’re not a gym-rat, look for fun, easy ways to get more active. Is there a dance or fitness class that appeals?  o you like hiking or biking or rollerblading? At a minimum, try walking around the block, at least once a day.  Even better:  get a pedometer and work your way up to 7,000 steps a day.

9.  Schedule regular dental and medical check-ups.

You take your car in for regular oil changes, right? Your annual medical exam plus two dental appointments a year are basic maintenance for your carcass. By monitoring your health, you can quickly address any health issues that arise.

10.  Reduce your stress.

Stress is a major cause of physical ailments.  If you notice you’re feeling tense, take steps to reduce it.  We’ll discuss specific stress-busters for DaVincis in a future post.

*****

Activity: Re-read the ten tips.  Pick one and implement it this week.

*****

*****

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

By Jonas Bergsten [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

I don’t know who started the myth and frankly I hope I never figure that out because they’ve caused untold unnecessary pain in creative people.

So today, let’s stop the abuse and debunk the lie you’ve been told. Repeat after me: “I have more than one purpose or passion. I’m on this planet to do many, many things. Many activities give me pleasure and meaning.”

Recognizing there is more than one purpose to any life, let’s investigate yours.

Activity: Clear an uninterrupted hour for some deep reflection.

1.  List the other major events of your life so far. (For example, phases, key relationships, jobs, places you lived, etc). Delineate the major chapters of your life in a way that makes sense for you. (For example, you might parse your life into ‘Childhood,’ ‘High School,’ ‘University Years,’ ‘First Job,’ ‘First Significant Relationship,’ ‘Living in a New City,’ and so forth).

2.  For each life segment that’s significant for you, answer the following questions:

• What were your purpose(s) in life then?
• What were your natural affinities?
• What gave your life both pleasure and meaning?

3. What are your purpose(s) in life right now? What are your natural affinities today? What gives your life pleasure and meaning these days? What roles do you play?

4. Imagine yourself in the future. What life purpose(s) would you like to pursue in the future?

5. Now take a deeper view. What are the primary purposes of all humans? (For example, to survive, to thrive, to connect with other humans, etc.) How does this manifest in you?

6. Review your answers thus far. Is there anything you are not doing at this time in your life that you would like to do? How could you incorporate this in your present life?

7. Select the life purposes you’d like to pursue right now. Write them down. Capture them in a way that’s meaningful for you — for example in a painting, sculpture, collage, meditation shrine and/or business plan.

*****

This activity is designed to foster an appreciation for all the things you do. You have many more than one purpose. I encourage you to pursue as many purposes as you’d like.

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish.  Available here in hardcover, paperback, and e-book formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb: Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

By Oldbeeg [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

Let’s try an experiment:  What if I told you to stop what you’re doing RIGHT NOW and put yourself first. What would be your reaction? Relief (Gosh, you mean I can?) — Incredulity (You must be joking!  I can’t possibly!) — Anger (How dare you even suggest it?)  — Frustration (I’d really like to but there’s no way I can) — Fear (If I do, everything might fall apart!) — Guilt (That would be selfish) — or something else?

Why do you think you responded that way? Whose voice(s) do you hear in your head? What unhelpful beliefs are interfering with putting yourself first? Take a few moments and write them down.  For example, “If I don’t work myself to the bone and struggle with ever fiber of my being, I won’t earn my success.”  “Nice people put others first.”  “A good parent/spouse/colleague puts themselves last.” “I don’t have time to read/exercise/meditate.”  “There aren’t enough hours in the day to attend to all aspects of my life properly.”

Once you’ve identified the nature of the unhelpful beliefs interfering with your life balance, you can address them. For each, look for evidence to the contrary.  “Well, come to think of it, there is no law that one must struggle to succeed. I tend to do much better when I’m enjoying what I do, actually. And when I look around at my friends who are doing well —  and even my role models — they’re not stressed out, pushing. They’re not being martyrs. In fact I think my martyrdom has hurt some relationships, if I were truthful.”

Now:  ask yourself what are the costs of NOT putting yourself first.  Your first clue is probably in how you reacted to my first question — anger, resentment, fear, negativity, pessimism. It ain’t pretty. Have you ever experienced a lopsided relationship (personal or professional) — or muted your ideas or creativity unnecessarily — or otherwise played the Doormat Role?  I’m sure your intentions have been noble. You’re probably a People Pleaser. It’s one thing to be kind, respectful and helpful . . . it’s quite another when you allow others to take advantage of you . . .or get swept away in their plans, losing sight of your own.

So how to start operating differently?  How can you put yourself first?

1. Make a conscious decision to honor your own needs.

What’s important to you? What makes you happy? Fulfilled? Write them down. Remind yourself of these priorities every day. (It may seem silly but without deliberate daily reminders, we quickly slip back into old habits).

2.  Give yourself time.

How much ‘YOU’ time do you have each day? Each week? How can you give yourself more time? If you’re not sure, take stock of how you are currently spending your time. There is probably something that you are spending more time on than you really need or want to. Take some of that time and redirect it to more satisfying purposes.

3.  Nourish your ideas.

Your ideas are your greatest asset. Tend them with care. Be their advocate:  Support them and protect them from being trampled unnecessarily.

4.  Develop your voice.

As a multi-talented person, your reason for being is to create in many media. Finding and cultivating your own unique voice — in each of your talents — allows your creativity to take flight.

5.  Listen to your body.

Your body always knows what you need. It detects when you’re hungry or thirsty or sleepy or in danger.  Being attentive to our biological needs is a fundamental part of putting yourself first. If you’re feeling stressed or achy or fatigued, take a break. Ask your body what you need:  it might be a walk in nature or a nap or an apple . . . or a week in Fiji.

As well, your body can cut through the confusion of too many ideas, too many projects and too many talents. Our brains can hijack our actions and attention in a million directions, built on a thousand random rationales. But a ‘gut feeling’ is infallible. If you listen to your gut, it will reveal which is the best idea, which path is crazy making and which is a delight, which person is dangerous or draining and which is a kindred spirit. If you find yourself overthinking things, try listening to your gut instinct.

6. Treat yourself well.

How do you treat your friends and loved ones? Do you speak to them kindly? Do you support their endeavors?  Do you buy them gifts or do special things for them or take them interesting places?  NOW:  how do you treat yourself? How do you talk to yourself? What’s your tone like? Do you call yourself names or berate yourself needlessly? Do you support or sabotage your creative efforts?  Do you get yourself the support you need? Do you take good care of yourself — physically, psychologically and/or spiritually? Do you buy yourself presents or do special things for yourself or take yourself interesting places? Why not?

7.  Reward yourself.

When you accomplish something, do you do anything to acknowledge it . . . or do you plow right onto the next thing? By rewarding yourself for the things you do, you’ll be happier and so much more productive.

*****

Activity: Clear at least 30 uninterrupted minutes.  Use this article as a mini-coaching session: go through all the questions and write down your answers. Be as candid as possible. What patterns do you notice?  What actions can you take, going forward, to put yourself first?

*****

*****

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

By User:Vassil (File:Sépulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12.jpg) [CC BY 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

As anyone who’s ever felt The Blues can attest, there is a natural, knee-jerk reaction when this occurs:  panic.  “Oh no! I’m going down! Man the alarms! This ship is sinking!”

When this happens:  Stop. Breathe. It’s natural for us to go up and down. We’re creative people. We feel everything pretty acutely.

Remember:  Everyone has an off day, from time to time.

If it feels more serious than that — if your mood has been plummeting for days — it’s time to take some action.

Here are 30 proven ways to Beat the Blues:

1. Get outside.  You need natural daylight and you need it stat.  The Blues dissipates in daylight.
2. Move your body – walk, dance, do yoga or tai chi. Anything!  Any kind of physical activity can elevate your mood.
3. Fast as you can, write a list of 50 things for which you are grateful. Research in Positive Psychology has shown how gratitude makes us happier.
4. Call your most positive friend(s) for a chat. Ask them about what’s happening in their life. Allow yourself to get swept up in their joy.
5. Go to your music collection. Select and play songs that make you happy – or that represent a joyful time in your life. Sing along. Dance!
6. Watch or read something funny. Look up your favorite comic on YouTube. Or re-read a funny book you enjoy.
7. Lay off the booze. If you simply refrain from drinking for a few weeks, your mood will rise. Alcohol is a depressant and those nightly nightcaps can take a huge toll on creative minds and spirits.
8. Eat a small amount of good quality chocolate – the highest percentage of cocoa that you can handle. Real chocolate (not the junk version stuffed with fat and sugar) is a natural neurochemical mood lifter.
9. Lay off the news. Whether on TV or the internet, the news is bound to depress you.  Take an “Information Vacation.” Don’t worry.  If anything really important happens in the world, you’ll hear about it.
10. Take a day off. Rest. Replenish. Refresh.
11. Pamper yourself (in a healthy, positive way).
12. Play a game – a board game, a card game – something fun and engaging. It’s hard to feel blah when you’re having fun. (Note:  avoid any activities you find addictive).
13. Treat yourself to a play date – alone (if you spend most of your time with people) or with someone (if you spend a lot of time alone). Do something fun – purely for the pleasure of it.
14. Volunteer – give your time or money to a good cause.  Again, research has shown that volunteering is a terrific way to beat The Blues.
15. Press the reset button. Decide to be happier. Declare today ‘happier’ day and act that way. Even if you have to pretend at first, once you start “acting” happy, your mood is likely to lift.
16. Identify one thing in your life you adore. Meditate on it.
17. Smile. Hold you face in a smile for at least 30 seconds. Repeat once an hour. Research shows that holding your face in the ‘smiling’ position, actually makes you *feel* happier.
18. Think of a time and place you were really happy. Set a timer for (at least) ten minutes. Close your eyes and imagine you’re in that lovely time and place. When other thoughts intervene, push them gently aside and resume imagining.  Focus on the details.  ee if you can recreate those happy feelings, here and now.
19. Commit three random acts of kindness. It’s hard to feel blah when you’re bringing joy to others.
20. What’s the funniest film you’ve ever seen? Watch it again.
21. Invite a positive person for a walk or tea or meal. Get out of your headspace and into theirs.
22. Help someone else. Think of someone who could use your support right now. Offer it. Research shows that helping others provides profound, persistent joy.
23. Spend time in nature.
24. Focus on the now, on this particular moment.
25. Try a meditation app.
26. Put a thick elastic band around your wrist. Snap yourself whenever you utter or think something negative. It sounds trite but you can actually train yourself to refrain from negative thoughts – which goes a long way to improving your mood.
27. Avoid contact with anyone and anything that is negative. Unsure? What does your gut say? If your gut contracts when you think of a certain person, consider minimizing contact with them. If your shoulders cave in thinking about a particular task or idea, it’s negative. Avoid it.
28. Do something new. Go to a new place or try a new food. Novel experiences bust the blues and make life much less blah.
29. Often, a lot is going well except for the few things that hijack our psyches with some kind of dreadful doom. To the extent possible, take objective stock of your situation. What’s going well?  What’s not? What 20% of your life are causing 80% of the problems? Eliminate them.  Solve them.  Do everything you can to focus on the 80% of your life that’s going tickety-boo.
30. What’s the most important thing in your life – the thing you love most?  How much attention are you giving it? Give it more. It’s amazing how many writers haven’t written in a month . . . and then wonder why they’re feeling blue or blah. You know what your talents are – do them!

*****

Activity: what helps raise your spirits when you’re feeling The Blues?  Which of the above 30 techniques have you tried?

Activity: Of the ones you haven’t tried, which seem most appealing?  Make a list.  Write yourself a note:  the next time I’m feeling blue, I’m going to try *these* proven Blues Busters.

***

Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

***

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

By User:Vassil (File:Sépulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12.jpg) [CC BY 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Here’s how:

1. Compose a new affirmation for each day.

Each day, take a moment to write a simple, declarative positive sentence that represents a thought you’d really like to believe. For example, “I am living a wonderful life.”  “I find joy in every moment.”  “I am a kick-ass juggler.”  Whatever floats your boat on that particular day. Write your affirmation down on an index card. Repeat it out loud a few times, with feeling. Make it your screen-saver message for the day or put it on a Post-It where you’ll see it and read it several times over your waking hours. On the following day, compose a new affirmation. Write it on a new index card. Make it come to life for you. Replace yesterday’s screen-saver or Post-It with a new one.

2.  Select one affirmation and process it more deeply.

When you get bored writing new affirmations, you can rifle through your previously written index cards and pick one at random.  Write answers to the following questions:
(a) How do I know this to be true? When and where have I seen evidence of this in my life?
(b) What obstacles interfere with this?
(c) How can I overcome these obstacles?

By processing your earlier affirmation at a deeper level, you’ll gain new insights and give the affirmation more power. For today, anyway. But that’s all we’re seeking.

3. Focus on the “Blurt”.

This time-tested method pioneered by creativity guru Julia Cameron can help DaVinci’s deep dive into their core beliefs:
1. Choose an affirmation. For example, “I am a successful sousaphone player.”
2. Write it down on a sheet of paper that has plenty o’ extra space.
3. Wait for that little voice in your head that balks at your affirmation.  It might say something like “Successful? Ha! If you’re so successful, why haven’t you won any sousaphone awards? Why aren’t you living in a waterfront mansion, paid for by sousaphone royalties?” Or something like that.
4.  Whatever that nasty voice ‘blurts’ out, write it down.
5.  Dispute the blurt. For example, “There are plenty fine sousaphone players who haven’t won awards or live in mansions.  Those are unrealistic goals.  I know I’m an adept player because people applaud when I play and …” At this point, the nasty voice will blurt out something like, “They’re only being polite!” at which point, you can contest that, too.  If you allow yourself to do so, you can engage in a rather vivid, hilarious conversation with the nasty voice.  The more you do so, the deeper you can get to what’s really the core issue…self-worth or self-love or something similar.  Whatever you discover, this process is an extremely active and engaging way to use affirmations.

***

Activity: this week try all three methods to make your affirmations more effective. See which works best for you.

***

Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

***

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

Want to amp up your creativity?  One of the best, most effective — and most enjoyable — ways to inspire and hone your own imagination is to experience the creative work of other people. It doesn’t matter if you are a mathematician or a musician or an entrepreneur or an visual artist:  you can fuel your own creativity by experiencing the work of talented others in your field.  It’s a way to replenish your ideas, shift your perspective, and spark new insights and innovations. It can inspire you to stretch in new or different directions. It can illuminate new skills or techniques…or prompt you to figure novel solutions to the task at hand.

Begin with the people you admire in your chosen field. Who’s work do you love? Make a point of keeping up to date. It’s funny how we can have a favorite author or musician….and yet manage to miss the release of some of their titles. Maybe there are some hidden gems before they made it big. Perhaps you had a busy year and missed their most recent releases. The same thing happens with architects we admire, dancers we adore, and enterpreneurs we wish to emulate:  unless we make a point of tabs on them, we might be missing some inspiring examples of their creativity.

***

Activity:  Make a list of your favorite creators in your field(s). Now spend a few minutes googling each name: what have they done that you don’t know about?  Make a list.

Bonus activity: This year, make a point of catching up on anything you’ve missed.

***

Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own efforts, we neglect those of others. Sometimes, life intervenes.  Our schedule is packed. Our plate is full.  We have other priorities.

Of course. And to the extent we can include a regular stream of creative input into our lives, the more our creativity will benefit. Maybe it’s just a little: perhaps listening to music while we commute or exercise.  Perhaps it’s keeping an ebook loaded so that when unexpected time gaps occur in our day, we can read a paragraph or two.

Or maybe you have more flexibility in your schedule to add more creative input from multiple sources. Perhaps you’re able to spend an hour  a day on YouTube or Pinterest or podcasts for inspiration. Or maybe you make it a point to get to a gallery or museum once a week.

What works for you, given your current situation? Ask yourself what habits you can put in place to ensure you have a regular stream of creative input fueling your creativity? You are no doubt doing some of this already but here is an opportunity to take stock and ensure that you aren’t missing out on what is important to you.

***

Activity: What creative input is important to you? Make a list.

Activity: Brainstorm ways to ensure each of these things is a part of your life on a regular basis.

***

Now as much as you can profit from soaking up the innovations of heroes in your field(s), you can benefit even more when you experience creativity in other fields. This is especially true for DaVinics — creative people juggling several talents, projects and ideas — because our skill sets tend to be broader. We can see how something might enhance work and spark innovations in numerous projects. We are accustomed to cross-pollinating techniques and ideas across fields. A painting might inspire a song lyric that gives us an idea for a workshop that sparks a concept for a new product.

Start with the creative endeavors you admire, but don’t participate in. If you’re not that strong on the business side of things, for example, check out what successful entrepreneurs are doing. There are no shortage of YouTube videos, books, workshops, and teleconferences through which you can learn.  If you are not a gifted singer, listening to those who are can give you insights into story-telling, performance skills, and more.

***

Activity:  Make a list. What creative fields are you drawn to?

Activity: For each item on your list, start to make new lists. As you hear of creative people or products, add them to your list.  Going forward, when you are seeking creative input, check out someone or something on your list.

***

Many of us keep ‘to read’ lists. As we hear about books of interest, we jot them down. Ditto for ‘to view’ lists of movies, television series, and documentaries — or ‘to listen’ lists of music. When it’s time to indulge in creative input, we can easily and efficiently remind ourselves.  It’s easy enough to expand this practice to include whatever creative work we want to sample more of.

What do to with all these lists?  Keep them handy, for reference. Make a point of using them. Keep adding to them.

The simple act of beginning a list increases the likelihood you will treat yourself to more creative inputs.  The more options you add, the more diverse these ideas are likely to be. The more diverse your creative exposure, the more innovative you are likely to be.

The more creativity you experience, the more ideas you will have.  The more creative ideas you generate, the more will flow.

***

For more tips and techniques, check out my workbook  BE MORE CREATIVE:  101 Activities to Unleash and Grow Your Creativity

Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats:

http://bit.ly/BeMoreCreativeBook

 ***

CCO creative commons image via pixabay 

Do you have a negative little voice in your head?  Do you harbor an internal critic that tells you something you’re doing isn’t good enough or calls you nasty names or fans your deeper fears? It’s not pleasant and it doesn’t play fair.  It tends to kick us when we’re at our most vulnerable. It’s natural to have some fears and doubts but when they run amuck, it can harm our health and well-being. They can squelch our creativity and kill our productivity.  It is vital that we learn to detect and quell our Inner Critic when it arises.

Here’s how:

1.  Understand the purpose of your Inner Critic.

As harsh as your Inner Critic may be, know that it’s actually trying to help you. It’s your brain trying to protect you from unknown perils. It uses fears and doubts to prevent you from taking risks. It’s an ancient part of our biology that developed to prevent us from tangling with predators or consuming possible poisons or wandering away from safety.

In modern life, however, it can be problematic. It can get triggered by emotional stress that has little to do with our physical well-being. When it perceives pressure — to do well, for example — can initiate “fight or flight” biochemical responses, fears, and doubts. If you don’t recognize what’s happening, this internal danger-detector may cause you to walk away from an exciting opportunity or self-sabotage yourself on a challenging project.

That’s why it’s so important to pay attention. When you detect fears and doubts, pause.  Ask:  is this my Inner Critic?

 2.  Recognize your Inner Critic.

Pay careful attention to what’s going on in your head. To what extent are your thoughts and feelings appropriate for what’s going on?

Our Inner Critics tend to be divas so be on the lookout for exaggerated reactions and thoughts of impending doom:  If you are feeling inexplicably negative about your progress or project, it might not be valid. Your criticisms and concerns might just be your Inner Critic running amuck. (Danger!  Danger!  She’s trying something new! We might crash and burn!)

Once you detect it, listen to it:  What does your Inner Critic tend to say?  With what tone?  Does this inner voice sound like anyone in particular?  A parent perhaps or a disapproving teacher or boss?

Of what is your Inner Critic afraid?  Failure?  Success?  Embarrassment?  Dismemberment by wolves?

Also be aware of which situations tend to triggers your Inner Critic.  Under what circumstances is it more likely to arise?  When you are most vulnerable to it?

3.  Understand its impact on you.

How do you respond to your Inner Critic?  Does it paralyze you or spark you into action?  Does it make you sad or hopeless?  Does it frustrate or enrage you? How does it affect your stress level?  Your health and well-being?

For that matter, how does it affect others around you?

4.  Name your Inner Critic.

If you literally give a name to your Inner Critic, you can call it out — and laugh at it — when it arises.

I call my own inner voice Picky McStrict.  Picky is the one who shouts “Idiot!” when she finds a typo in a Facebook post I’ve written.  Picky is the one muttering “you are lousy at this” when I’m doing something for the first time.  Picky has very strict rules about the Herculean struggle and toil required before one can “earn” success.

Picky means well — and frankly, she’s helped me accomplish a lot — but she’s really more of a hindrance.  She makes me doubt myself. She sucks the enjoyment out of the task at hand. She applies unhelpful stress to me and those around me.

I’ve learned to recognize her not-so-dulcet tones and dismiss them, accordingly. Okay, sometimes I have to give her a stern talking to . . . but the point is she is no longer driving the bus.  I am.

My clients use names like “Sir Harps-a-lot”, “Ursula”, “Poopyhead”, “Nick the Dick”, “Lady Gwendolyn”, “El Stupido,” and “Mr. Dibbs my Grade 2 teacher” to address their own inner voices. I encourage you to find an appropriate name for your inner nemesis — and to practice recognizing it when it arises.

5.  Challenge your Inner Critic.

Dispute the fears and doubts as soon as you detect them.

It’s helpful to actually write out whatever your Inner Critic is saying, then analyze each statement. Is it valid?  What evidence is there to the contrary? Might the opposite be true?

Should you choose to engage this voice in conversation, you can expose just how ludicrously harsh it is — and put it in its place. Use two different pens to actually write out the conversation.  Be candid — and have fun with it.

For example:

 Sir Harps-a-lot:  This is not nearly good enough.

 You:  Aha!  I know that voice!  I hear you, Sir Harps-a-lot.

 Sir H:  Well, I’m concerned for your professional reputation.  Your work isn’t up to snuff.

You:  “Up to snuff.”  You sound like my sixth grade teacher.  The one who marked up my homework with red ink.

 Sir H.:  He and I go way back.  We don’t want you embarrass yourself with a sub-par performance on this project.

 You:  What I’m doing is better than what 99% of people on the planet could be doing, under the same circumstances.

 Sir H.:  You could do better than you are.

 You:  Possibly.  But not without making myself sick and/or making my colleagues sick of me.  As it is, I catch them cringing when I ask them to make adjustments.

 Sir H.:  See, the project is tanking and your co-workers know it.

 You:  Wow.  Harsh, much?  The project is not tanking.  We just have to work out some kinks and we haven’t yet found solutions.

 Sir H.:  See?  You’re failing.  You’re not good enough to do this project.

 You:  I am plenty good enough for this project.  I am a well-trained, competent person doing the best I can, given the time frame and resources I’ve been given.

 Sir H.:  What if your work isn’t good enough?  What if you lose your job and nobody else will hire you?

 You:  First, I’m not going to lose my job.  Second, if I did, there are other jobs out there.  Or I could start my own business.  This project does not define me or my career.  It does not determine my future.

Sir H.:  I’m just trying to help.

 You:  Thanks but you’re not helping.  You’re making me doubt myself and my abilities.

 Sir H.: Gosh, I didn’t mean to. I just want you to be safe and happy.  Um.  I’m sure your project will turn out fine. 

 You:  Yes, it will.  Now please go away.

***

Activity:  Do yourself a favor and take a few moments to write out answers to the following questions:

1.  What kinds of things does your Inner Critic tend to say?

2.  What tone does your Inner Critic use?

3.  Who does your Inner Critic sound like?

4.  Of what is your Inner Critic afraid?

5.  What situations tend to trigger your Inner Critic?

6.  Name your Inner Critic so you can call it out — and laugh at it — when you hear it.

Henceforth, I shall call my Inner Critic_________________

7.  Going forward, be on the lookout for your Inner Critic.  When it arises, pause.  Write out what it’s saying.  Refute each statement with facts and evidence to the contrary.

***            

*****

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Dennis Murphy [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

Here are Five Ways a Timer Can Help You and Your Talents:

1.  Overcome procrastination.  (In other words:  Help you Get Started).

The next time you find yourself procrastinating, set your timer for ten minutes.  Commit to doing as much as possible during those ten minutes.  Whatever you get done is enough.

Bonus #1: You will also avoid distractions.  Somehow, when the timer is ticking, it helps foster focus.

Bonus #2:  You will be surprised how much you can accomplished when you give yourself a ten minute time limit.  There’s something about the time pressure that motivates you to you get things done.

Bonus #3:  Odds are, when the timer goes off, you won’t want to stop.  A body in motion stays in motion – sometimes we just need a little nudge to break out of our inertia.

2. Improving the quality of your work. (“Work” meaning whatever it is you’re doing – your job, your talents, your domestic chores or something else).

Want to get things done?  Clear one hour and select the task you’d like to do.  Commit to completing fifty focused, uninterrupted minutes on your task.  Before you begin, take what steps are necessary to ensure you won’t be interrupted — for example, close the door, unplug the phone, disable your internet connection, etc.  Now, set your timer for fifty minutes and begin.

If, while you’re working, you think of something critical that needs doing, write it down as a reminder so you can do it AFTER the fifty minutes has passed.  When the timer goes, set it to ten minutes.  During this period, do whatever would be a fitting reward — walk around the block, call a friend, check your email, snuggle your pet, stretch your body — whatever you like.

Using this method, you will find that your work is more focused and of higher quality.

Bonus #1:  Built-in rewards for a job well done.  This is highly motivating.

Bonus #2: Using this technique multiple times a day or week can increase your productivity tremendously.

3.  Establish a new (helpful) habit.

Think about an action that would improve your life if you did more of it – especially on a daily basis.  Something that you really, really want to do more.  Something you know will be very beneficial to your well-being.  For example, walking, exercising, writing, practicing an instrument, journalling, spending time with your kids, etc.  Now think about your ideal goal:  let’s use the example of walking at least 30 minutes a day, at least five days a week.

Now:  think about an initial commitment that you can EASILY achieve.  In our example, let’s say we’ll walk five minutes a day, at least three times a week.

What’s that you say?  How can a five minute walk possibly make any difference to your life?  It’s not the AMOUNT of the activity that’s important.  What’s important is ESTABLISHING THE HABIT.

Now:  honor your initial commitment.  Using your timer to keep you honest, walk five minutes a day, at least three times this week.  Keep track.  You can walk more if you’d like.  Doesn’t matter.  What does matter is that you walk AT LEAST five minutes, at least three times during the week.

If you do walk at least five minutes at least three days a week, congratulations!  You’re well on your way to establishing your new habit.

If you find, at the end of the week, that you didn’t keep your commitment, don’t beat yourself up.  Simply ask:  “Hmm, why didn’t I do this?”  Either the new habit isn’t really something you’d like to establish and/or you’re experiencing [resistance that needs to be dealt with].

Once you are successful in establishing your initial commitment (let’s say a month of walking at least five minutes, at least three times a week), you can increase the amount of time per session.  Note:  better to take your time doing this, rather than trying to do too much, too fast which will lead to breaking your commitments, frustration and failure.

Here’s a sample schedule to establish a lifelong habit:

Month One:  Walk at least 5 minutes at least 3 times a week.

Month Two:  Walk at least 10 minutes at least 3 times a week.

Month Three:  Walk at least 15 minutes at least 3 times a week.

Month Four:  Walk at least 20 minutes at least 3 times a week.

Month Five:  Walk at least 25 minutes at least 3 times a week.

Month Six:  Walk at least 30 minutes at least 3 times a week.

Month Seven:  Walk at least 30 minutes at least 4 times a week.

Month Eight:  Walk at least 30 minutes at least 5 times a week.

4. Meditate.

Especially for those new to meditation or impatient with it, the timer is invaluable.  According to Yougey Mingyur Rinphoche, it is best to meditate for short periods of time (like 2- 3 minutes) throughout the day.

Whenever you think about it – once an hour if you’d like – set your timer for two minutes, sit upright and clear your mind.

Many Bonuses: studies show that people who meditate – even beginners—are healthier, happier and less stressed than those who don’t.

5. Beat unhealthy cravings

If there’s something you are trying to do less of – snacking, surfing the internet, watching television, smoking, drinking alcohol, etc. – your timer can help.  Let’s use the example of snacking.

First, generate a list of healthy things you’d rather do for fifteen minutes.  In our case, let’s say, instead of snacking, we’d rather walk around the block, listen to some music, paint, knit, call a friend to chat, have a bath, cuddle your pet, read a good book or mediate.

Now, when the craving hits, set your timer for fifteen minutes and commit to not give into your craving for that period of time.  Then, refer to your list and do the first thing that jumps out at you.

Example:  I find myself wandering into the kitchen, seeking something/anything to munch.  “Oh no!” I say.  “This is a craving.”  I deftly set my timer for 15 minutes and quickly refer to my List of Alternative Activities.  “Around the block we go!”

Bonus #1:  you will be doing more of what you prefer to do

Bonus #2:  you are likely to find that, fifteen minutes later, not only has the craving passed, you’ve completely forgotten about it.

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in hardcover, paperback or eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

© Jorge Royan / http://www.royan.com.ar via wikimedia.commons.org

How comfortable are you being a DaVinci — someone juggling many talents, projects and ideas? Some people love being multi-hyphenates.  My Latin Dance teacher proudly labels herself as a singer/dancer/actor.  (“I’m a triple threat, honey”). Others find themselves feeling scattered or overwhelmed or confused.  The more they can do, the less adequate they feel. (“I’m Jack-of-all-Trades and master of none.”)

The first challenge for DaVincis is to find a comfortable way to juggle different talents and roles. To what extent do you find it fun or easy to flex different skill sets as you juggle different projects? What works for you? Do you like to mix it up, willy nilly, or do you prefer to compartmentalize different activities?

There’s no one ‘right’ way. It’ll depend on your own, unique personality, preferences, experiences, and circumstances. The important thing if for you to find a way to be comfortable and at ease, no matter which hat(s) you are wearing.

For me personally, I find it easier to compartmentalize my time and focus such that I have one priority for a given block of time…while toggling between different projects and roles throughout the week.  At this particular moment, I’m a writer. This evening I will be a metalsmith.  Tomorrow I’ll be a coach in the morning and a teacher in the afternoon…although odds are high that I’ll be wearing both hats at the same time, on and off throughout the day.

This approach might seem way too structured to you.  Or otherwise unappealing. Or impossible to set up, given the demands on you, personally and professionally.

Other people might find what I do confusing and overwhelming. They might be more comfortable focusing on one talent or project for longer periods of time. They may prefer to devoting one week (or more) to one thing before switching priorities. Or maybe they devote weekdays to one main project and delegate some weeknights or weekends to other activities.

If you know what works for you, great. If not, experiment. Give yourself permission to try new approaches until you find a way to participate in the projects, activities, and skill sets that are important to you in a way that feels gratifying and comfortable.

Another aspect of finding comfort wearing different hats is to consider the how you think about yourself. Are you  proud to be a multi-hyphenate like my Latin dance teacher…or do multiple labels make you feel like a dilettante/ flake/jack-of-all-trades, master of none?  If the latter sounds like you, try this:  reverse any negative term you attach to yourself.  For example:  Instead of “flake” you might think of yourself as “multi-talented”.  Instead of labeling yourself’ “ADHD”, you might think of yourself as “interested in many things”. Play around with different terms and phrases until you find a way to frame what you do in a way that feels better.

Extending this a titch:  how do you market yourself, to whom?

“What am I supposed to call myself,” wailed one multi-talented coaching client recently.  “How am I supposed to market all the things I do under one comprehensive umbrella?”  “Maybe you shouldn’t. If it doesn’t come naturally, then it might make more sense to try a more segmented approach by promoting particular skills to each relevant market.”

You have the same choice.  You can market ‘you’ and your unique voice.  Or you can promote yourself in different ways to different audiences.

Here’s a test:  When you meet someone new, how do you describe yourself?  What is your typical answer? To what extent does that change, depending on the circumstances?  How do you label yourself if you’re meeting someone at a PTA meeting versus a party versus an industry event?

If you tend to present yourself the same way, regardless of setting, then it would make sense to market yourself that way — as a general brand to all audiences. If you tend to compartmentalize and segment your talents, then it would be more efficient and effective to do the same with your marketing plans by tailoring your promotions to present specific skills to specific audiences.

There is more than one way to be a DaVinci — to be comfortable wearing different hats and marketing yourself to others. You need to find what works for you, given your own unique preferences, experiences, and circumstances.

***

Check out my workbook  SELF-WORTH ESSENTIALS

Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/SelfWorthEssentials

***

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Many of us live sedentary lives, tethered to our computers or work benches.  Sitting hurts our health.  Besides making us fat, it increases our likelihood of  getting cancer — and doubles our risk of cardiovascular disease.  The more we sit, the less long we live.  (If you want the gory details, here’s a vivid infographic with some relevant research.)

Standing desks are an option but may be impractical or uncomfortable.

Thankfully, recent research has revealed a simple, easy, effective way to overcome the problems caused by excessive sitting.   The solution is to take five-minute movement breaks throughout the day.

In this study, researchers compared what happened when office workers spent the day sitting versus those who walked on a treadmill for 30 minutes a day.  It didn’t matter if they walked for thirty minutes straight or if they walked for five minutes, six times during the day.  Those who spent time moving during the day had more energy, less fatigue, an improved mood, and reduced food cravings than those who just sat.

Think about it:  assuming you are able-bodied and uninjured, walking for five minutes is easy to do.  If you work in an office you can walk to the rest room, the break room, the mail room, the photocopier, a co-worker’s desk.  If stairs are available, you can walk up and down a flight or two.  If you work at home you can walk around your home inside or out.  You can scamper about with your pets or put on a song and dance, if you feel so inclined.  Poof!  Five minutes go quickly.  And the benefits are many:  When you return to your desk, you’ve given your back, neck and shoulders a break from the hunched over computer position we all sink into.  You’ve got your blood pumping a wee bit, which gives you energy and lifts your mood.  You’ve given your brain a break.  Taking a few minutes away from the task at hand allows your creativity to burble on the back burner, inviting spontaneous ideas and solutions to erupt.

A five-minute movement break is easy to do and can yield many benefits — so why not try it?  If you take a mini movement break a few times a day, you’re counteracting the damage of sitting and you’re probably giving your spirits a lift as well. [Note:  If you are disabled or injured, a five-minute break of any kind has benefits.  To the extent you can stretch or shift your body, do so.  To the extent you can alter your physical location briefly, do so.  Look for creative ways to insert variety into what would otherwise be long stretches of sameness.]

Remember in high school?  At the conclusion of one class, a bell would ring denoting a few minutes to walk to your next class.  It probably felt good to stand up and move your body after sitting for an hour.  It was a visual break.  Possibly a social one in which you could greet friends in the hall or chat with a pal en route.  This walking break functioned like a mini reset button:  no matter what happened in the class before, there was a built in “refresh” process between classes.  It may have even kept you thinner.

When I began testing these mini movement breaks, I noticed a couple of unexpected benefits.  For one thing, my dogs love it.  They get extra attention and activity every hour on the hour.  For another, I saw a marked uptick in my productivity.  That’s because I melded the mini movement breaks with my Magic Hour Method to make progress on multiple priorities in a given day.  What emerged was a flexible strategy by which one can toggle among projects, alternating 55 minute focused work sessions with five-minute movement breaks in between.

Somehow, the five-minute movement breaks supercharged my work sessions.  Walking around for just five minutes between work sessions gave me fresh energy and a mental “reset” such that I found myself getting more done, more efficiently, with more ease.  I’m calling it Magic Hour Method 2.0

***The Magic Hour Method 2.0***

What follows is a technique to make progress on multiple projects while taking better care of your body.  It is designed to be flexible so you can adapt it to suit your own unique circumstances and preferences.

Step One:  Identify your priorities

What are your top priorities for the week?  Let’s say you want to spend time on work project #1, work project #2, marketing, and research.  (If you work at home, you may wish to add some personal projects or domestic responsibilities to the mix.)  Do what makes sense for you.

Step Two:  Choose an easy way to track your progress

The easier the better.  A low-tech approach is to assign a color to each priority.  (For example project #1 is blue, project #2 is pink, marketing is green, and research is orange).  Going forward, every time you spend 55 minutes of quality time on that activity, give yourself a colored star on your calendar.

If you prefer, use your phone, tablet, or computer to track what you do.

Step Three:  Apply the Magic Hour Method and Mini Movement Breaks to the mix.

When you sit down to work:

1. Remove or reduce likely distractions.
2. Identify your top priority at that moment.
3. Set a timer for 55 minutes.
4. Spend this time engaged in quality, focused progress on your chosen priority.
5. When the timer goes off, put a star on your calendar to record your progress.
6. Set the timer for five minutes.  During this time, move your body.  Walk.  Stroll around.  If there are stairs handy, walk up and down them once or twice.
7.  When the timer goes off, identify your top priority at that moment.  This might be to continue what you did in step one, or it might be something else.
8. Repeat steps 2 – 7.  Do this as much as many times as make sense, given your particular circumstances.

Adapt this formula to suit your needs and to accommodate rest breaks, meals, interruptions, and “things that arise that require your attention”.  You may wish to insert a shorter period to attend to smaller tasks (e.g. phone calls, answering your email) — or to time box things that tend to swell (like internet surfing and social media).  If you have the flexibility to do so, you might insert two minute meditation or stretch breaks as needed, for example.

What’s with the colored stars?

There’s something about chronicling your progress that is intrisically rewarding.  At the end of the day, you can see what you’ve accomplished.  It’s also a visual way to monitor balance.  By looking at the ratio of colors, you can assess, at a glance, what adjustments are needed going forward.  Maybe,  when you look at the stars at the end of the week, you see that “marketing” got short shrift.  You can give it more attention next week.

If you expand this approach to include personal priorities, you can easily detect your work-life ratio and make adjustments, accordingly.

***

However you choose to adapt and apply this technique, it’s possible to make real, discernible progress on your top priorities, while taking better care of your health.  Try it and see for yourself.

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

By photo taken by flickr user *Micky* (flickr) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Tim Ferriss, author of The Four Hour Work Week, advocates minimizing electronic assaults by taking an Information Vacation. No checking email.  No web surfing.  No Twittering or Facebooking or watching the news.  No laptop activities of any kind.  No PDA.  No TV either.  Worried about missing some important new story?  You won’t.  Hey, you even have an automatic conversation aid when talking with people:  “I’ve been away from the internet — what’s going on in the world?”

Some groups have been practicing a regular, weekly ‘down time’ for millennia.  An Orthodox friend told me how grateful she is for her religion’s practice of taking 24 hour ‘time outs’ once a week.  It’s how she copes with this mad, electronic age.  She doubts she could manage her work, parenting, community service and everything else she juggles without stopping each and every week to unplug and re-energize.

You don’t need to join a religious group to reap the same benefits.

Why Take an Information Vacation?

1.  To relax.

If you’re a multi-talented person, you’ve got an awful lot going on.  If you’re also battling information addiction, you’re putting yourself under even more stress.  Your mind and body need some high quality relaxation.  Once refreshed, you’ll be better able to tackle the many things on your creative plate.

2.  To take a break from negativity.

A lot of news and current events are horrible and depressing.  (If it bleeds — or grosses out — or titillates — or infuriates — it leads).  You owe it to your many talents to take a break from all that.  Particularly if you’re feeling blue or blah or otherwise out of sorts.  An Information Vacation is an effective Rx for many mood ailments.

3.  To refill your creative well.

Sure, you can get some ideas from the internet and television and your Facebook news feed.  But once your creative cup is full, all the extra data is just sloshing over the rim, making a mess.  By taking an Information Vacation, you can push aside all those outside voices and let your own creative ideas burble back up.  When you’re unplugged, you can simply daydream and let your creative spirit play.  Ah…isn’t that better?

4.  To re-energize.

At the risk of repeating the point, creative people are susceptible to the nefarious forces of many electronic media.  Information addiction saps our strength and drains us of creative energy.  When we silence the media cacophony, we allow our minds, bodies and spirits to re-energize.  If you’ve been feeling fatigued or exhausted with no real reason, try taking an Information Vacation.  Odds are high, you’ll regain your former verve.

5.  To reward yourself.

Many DaVincis are far too hard on themselves.  They rarely reward themselves and they don’t indulge in nearly enough fun. Ideally, an Information Vacation can be a guilt-free treat for all the good works you’re doing.  It’s a well-earned treat to do the unplugged things you love.

6.  To reconnect with people (and pets).

Information addiction can isolate you from the world. The more time you spend online the less you’re spending interacting with your friends, family and community members.  Socializing is a basic human need.  An Information Vacation allows us to reconnect with the people (and animals) who give our life meaning.

7.   To improve your health.

Reducing stress improves every bodily function.  An easy, effective way to enhance your well-being is to remove yourself for the stream of stressors known as the information highway.  Give your body a treat by unplugging, at least temporarily, from the electronic world.

How to Take an Information Vacation

Ideally for a whole day (or even for the whole weekend!) but if that’s out of the question, then at least pick one evening to unplug.  No checking email.  No web surfing.  No Twittering or Facebooking or watching the news.  No laptop activities of any kind.  No PDA.  No TV either.  Take some time to do ANYTHING else.  Read a book, have a nap, play a board game, listen to some music, make something, take a walk, meditate, try a yoga pose or two, make a nice meal & eat mindfully, catch up with your household members, go to a concert or play — the sky’s the limit.

Activity: List ten unplugged activities you enjoy

Activity: Select an evening or a full day (or two!) to unplug.  Schedule it. Prevent/avoid anything that would break or disrupt your appointment.  During your scheduled time, avoid your computer, TV, PDA — anything electronic. Instead, do any of the unplugged activities you enjoy.

***

Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

By User:Vassil (File:Sépulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12.jpg) [CC BY 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

1. Recognize that everyone has some regrets in life – and see how they handle them.

You are not alone.  Look at how the people you know handle their regrets.  Of those, who would you like to emulate?  Uncle Biff who’s never ever gotten over that missed baseball in Little League – or Aunt Buffy who made and lost a million bucks and laughed her way through the process of making her subsequent million?

Look for inspiration in celebrities, too.  Growing up, Mel Brooks studied drums with the drumming legend Buddy Rich. Rich thought young Mel was a prodigy and was grooming him to follow in his footsteps. When Mel heard the siren song of comedy writing, Rich warned him he was making the mistake of his life giving up a promising career in music to mess around telling a bunch of stupid jokes. Brooks says that although Rich never forgave him, he never regretted the path he took.

2. Apply a statute of limitations.

What is it that’s got you stuck in Coulda Woulda Shoulda thinking? Write it down.  When did this event occur?  (Wait, how many years ago?!)  How much longer do you intend to brood over it?  Do yourself a favor by placing a limit on how long you let yourself dwell on what happened (or what didn’t happen).    (“Okay, I’ve felt badly about this for four years now.  That’s plenty.  Time to move on.”)

3. Do a reality check.

Most Coulda Woulda Shoulda thinking involves the implicit assumption that IF I would’ve done X (or not done Y), my life would now be much better, if not perfect.  The fact is, however, that’s not necessarily so.  If you would’ve done X (or not done Y), it’s not clear that you would have been successful.  Odds are slim that every single thing would have unfolded perfectly.  You don’t know what challenges or calamities may have befallen you along that untaken path.

Consider the notion that you made the very best decision and took the very best course of action available to you at the time, under those circumstances.

4. Appreciate your present circumstances.

Whatever’s going well for you now might not have been possible, had you taken that other path way back when.  List five things that are in your life now — or experiences you’ve had that you value – that you would NOT have if your Coulda Woulda Shoulda situation had turned out differently.  For example, a colleague was talking to me about a ‘golden opportunity’ she had — but didn’t take — to become a TV writer when she was 24.  She had been thinking of it as a regret…until she realized that had she taken that path, she wouldn’t have had her ten year corporate career, the experience of living in Europe for a decade, her current wonderful marriage and a host of other elements that make her a better writer and a better person today.

5. What lesson(s) can be learned?

Think about your Coulda Woulda Shoulda experience.  What happened?  What might you do differently in the same circumstances?  If you could go back in time and coach yourself through whatever happened, what advice would you give yourself? In what ways have you repeated your Coulda Woulda Shoulda experience?  For example, did fear stop you?  In what way are you still doing this today?  Does your Coulda Woulda Shoulda represent an obstacle with which you’re still grappling? What alternative solutions are there?

6. Revisit your dreams.

If you’re still brooding over something, odds are it involved an important dream – one that probably got deferred.  Ask yourself: is this still a dream or goal to which you aspire?  If so, how can you take steps towards achieving that dream, starting now?   If the dream is less attractive to you now, then give yourself permission to stop mourning what didn’t happen.  It could well be that you didn’t REALLY want what you thought you did.  For example, it could be that your earlier goal was something you (or someone close to you) believed you ‘Should’ do, rather than a true passion.  For example, maybe you didn’t get into Medical School…and maybe that’s a good thing.  The blood and gore and educational costs and long hours and lawsuits just aren’t that appealing.  Perhaps you didn’t get that movie role and now you’re grateful you have the privacy that you would have lost and that you now cherish, working behind the scenes.

Or it could be that you weren’t (and aren’t) willing to put in the effort required to make your dream come true.  Maybe it’s more of a it’s more of a fantasy than a life goal.  (Sure, I’d love to be a size zero…but I’m not prepared to undertake the chronic starvation, oppressive exercise schedule and probably surgery required to achieve that particular physique.)

*****

Activity:

1. Write down your Coulda Woulda Shoulda experience.
2. How long ago did it occur?
3. Have you brooded over it long enough?
4. What lessons can you learn from what happened then? If you could got back in time and coach yourself through what happened, what advice would you give yourself?
5. Ask others for advice.  Present the situation as an anonymous hypothetical.  Ask what they would do under those circumstances. Odds are, they may come up with new ideas, suggestions or perspectives.
6. List five things that are in your life now — or experiences you’ve had that you value – that you would NOT have if your Coulda Woulda Shoulda situation had turned out differently.
7. Is this still a dream or goal to which you aspire?  If so, how can you take steps towards achieving that dream, starting now?   If the dream is less attractive to you now, then give yourself permission to stop mourning what didn’t happen.

*****

For more, check out my book “GET OVER It:   Overcome Regret, Disappointment and Past Mistakes”. 

Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats:  http://bit.ly/GetOverItNow

*****

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/

By User:Vassil (File:Sépulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12.jpg) [CC BY 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

I’m not talking about things you’ve done for which you need to apologize and make amends.  If there’s something you can do to address what happened in the past, by all means do so.  Instead, today’s topic refers to those decisions or actions you’ve made in the past about which you can do nothing to ‘fix’ the situation.

There are two main types of Coulda Woulda Shoulda situations – those involving things you did (decisions you made, actions you took, opportunities you attempted, your perceived ‘mistakes’, etc. – “if only I wouldn’t have done X…”) and those you didn’t do (missed opportunities, paths you didn’t follow, things you didn’t say when you had the chance, and so forth – “if only I would have done Y…”).  No matter what has occurred in the past, any Coulda Woulda Shoulda thinking about it takes a hefty toll on you and those around you.

Costs of Coulda Woulda Shoulda

1. Wasted time, energy, emotion & attention.

You can’t change the past so anything you spend dwelling on it is squandered.  Period.

2. Creates a “victim” or “blame” mentality.

Whether you are blaming yourself or others, you’re fostering a ‘victim’ mentality that is unpleasant and often painful.

3. Devalues all that you have now.

The more you’re focused on the past, the more you’re missing the present…and the opportunities to improve things now.

4. Makes you more negative.

The more you beat yourself up for what you did or didn’t do in the past, the more you kvetch about what might have been, the more negative you’re being in the here and now.

5. Hurts your relationships.

Do you enjoy listening to others bemoan the past?   No one else does either.  The more you express ‘Coulda Woulda Shoulda’ to others, the less delighted they are.  It’s especially frustrating for people who care about you – they are helpless to make you feel better. The more you dwell on things no one can change, the worse they feel.

Yet a lot of creative people engage in Coulda Woulda Shoulda thinking…so they must be getting some apparent benefits from it…

Apparent Benefits of Coulda Woulda Shoulda

1. It’s easy.

Coulda Woulda Shoulda means you are reliving the past, over and over – which is much easier than (a) trying to learn from what happened or (b) trying new approaches to those situations.

2. Saves you from taking risks (or any actions) today.

“Oh sure I *could* submit that article/reel/painting/proposal to X…but it didn’t work out last time I tried, so what’s the point of trying again?” Coulda Woulda Shoulda thinking is a false justification for succumbing to fear or pessimism or laziness.  It can paralyze your actions, squash your creativity and stifle your progress.

3. Protects you from further harm or disappointments.

The helpful part of your psyche uses Coulda Woulda Shoulda thinking to spare you repeating past painful experiences…yet by interfering with your current activities it is disrupting your present success and happiness.

4. Self-punishment

Do you believe that if you make yourself feel bad enough about what happened for long enough, that you will be absolved somehow?  It’s true that only you can forgive yourself.  And that you need to forgive yourself to move on.  You can do so now…or you can do so after twenty years of Coulda Would Shoulda self-flagellation.  The only difference will be twenty years of feeling miserable…unnecessarily.

5. Backhanded way of bragging about your abilities, while never (again) putting them to test.

“I coulda been a contendah!”  “I was rejected by Spielberg!” “The Random House editor loved my book but the bean-counters on the editorial committee nixed the offer.” This lets you and others see that you have been very, very close to greatness…once upon a time.

*****

Coulda Woulda Shoulda thinking can be very damaging to creative people.  We’ll discuss ways to overcome it in tomorrow’s post.

*****

Activity:

1. What causes you Coulda Woulda Shoulda thinking?  What regrets have you been holding onto for a long time?
2. What does Coulda Woulda Shoulda cost you?
3. What apparent benefits do you get from Coulda Woulda Shoulda thinking?  What are their hidden costs?
4. Check out my book “GET OVER It:   Overcome Regret, Disappointment and Past Mistakes”.  Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats:  http://bit.ly/GetOverItNow

*****

What about you?  What costs and apparent benefits have you experienced in Coulda Woulda Shoulda thinking? Please tell us about your experiences in the comment box below.

*****

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

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Growth is good.  It doesn’t matter if you are a novice or a wizened expert, you have the opportunity to deepen and broaden your talents.  You can refine and hone your skills.  You can broaden your knowledge and your perspective.  You can collect new experiences in new situations.  You can blossom through new opportunities.

To the extent that you focus your attention on growing your talents:

• you will inject new energy into your enterprises
• you are likely to improve or ease your efforts
• you may have fun
• you might find new approaches, solutions, or connections
• you could proceed in new, unforeseen directions
• you may cross-pollinate different projects, talents, and ideas

How to Grow Your Talents

This depends on your unique preferences and circumstances. How do you like to learn? What has worked well for you in the past?

If you enjoy more structured learning, the easiest, funnest way to grow is to sign up for a class or workshop.  Committing to a class means that you have a pre-determined time at during which you are devoted to learning. Whether in person or online, classes and workshops also provide the opportunity to interact with other people drawn to the same experience.

A similar approach might be to gather with people to share what you know and teach each other.  This might be once in a while or fairly regularly.  For example, I was part of an Artful Women’s Group that grew out of a metalsmithing class. We all loved working with metal…and, being DaVincis, we all enjoyed other creative endeavors as well — origami, textiles, painting, sculpture, you name it. We gathered once a month as an erstwhile Creativity Club.  Sometimes, we each worked on our own projects.  More often, we took turns teaching each other different skills and techniques. Occasionally, we’d make a day of visiting galleries together. No matter what we did, we had fun and our talents grew.

It worked well for us but would not for someone who prefers to learn solo.  If you prefer to teach yourself, or to learn from books, or to spend time researching things online, watching YouTube videos and/or otherwise figuring out things for yourself, then clearly these would be more pleasant and successful ways for you to grow your talents.

Whatever your interests, whatever your talents, there is a wealth of information and examples online — and countless opportunities to learn and grow.

My husband pursues photography buy finding ways online to keep growing, learning, and engaged. For example, he’s part of an online community that has weekly photography contests using specific assignments. Those who wish to post entries receive votes and feedback from others. It’s a fun, way to learn from others and provides regular challenges to grow in new directions.

You owe it to yourself to hone your talents. What would be the easiest, funnest most appealing ways to do so?

***

Activity:  Take a few moments to consider the easiest, more appealing ways you can grow your talents.

Activity: Take a further few moments to make commitments to develop and grow your talents, going forward:  Sign up for a class or workshop.  Find an online or local group of people who share your interests.  See if there are books in the library or videos on YouTube or local events or exhibitions.  Make a regular appointment with yourself for the purpose of honing your talents.

***

For more tips and techniques, check out my workbook  BE MORE CREATIVE:  101 Activities to Unleash and Grow Your Creativity

***

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You know yourself best.  Which of the following sound familiar?

The Fear Monger

Anything new is scary to our inner protector. Any change — even a good change — is regarded with anxiety and caution. On the plus side, The Fear Monger keeps us physically safe and prevent us from taking wild risks. On the down side, The Fear Monger keeps us riddled with doubts and insecurities. It keeps us questioning our talents, rather than enjoying them. The Fear Monger sucks all the joy out of the creative process. It keeps us paralyzed, fearing the future, rather than taking concrete actions today. The Fear Monger is particularly concerned about “them” and what “they” will say. (What will the critics say? I can’t write *that*! What will my mother say? What if my play bombs?  I’ll be a laughing stock. I’ll never work again.)  Also, the Fear Monger makes us demand constant reassurance from our friends, families, and colleagues:  this makes us draining and unpleasant to be around.

The Delayer

Perhaps the cleverest inner saboteur, the Delayer can find untold impediments to block our progress.  Symptoms may include a sudden urge to do chores. Or eat. Or nap. Or do more research. Or walk the dogs. Or surf the ‘net. Or consult with someone. Or check Facebook. The Delayer impedes our decision making:  we find ourselves hesitating to commit to a particular choice or option, let alone take action along a particular path. The less we do, sadly, the more frustrated and unhappy we become. We beat ourselves up, feel weak and ineffective and otherwise think poorly of ourselves.  This is heartbreaking for people who care about us.  For others in our lives — especially coworkers — The Delayer makes us undependable, annoying, and difficult to work with.

The Judge

The Judge is rarely satisfied. No matter what we do, our inner Judge knows we could have done it better. It’s the voice in our heads intoning, “This is not good enough.”  Ironically, we tend to do excellent work.  Because the Judge is picky with sky high standards, we tend to be conscientious, hard-working, and brilliant.  The downside is that we do so by putting tremendous stress on ourselves and those around us. We work frantically and joylessly, and seldom pause to acknowledge our accomplishments.  We assess every situation, every person, every thing we experience. The people around us find it uncomfortable to share with us, knowing that we are apt to assess and critique them.

The Distractor

This inner saboteur is adept at finding bright, shiny objects to dangle in front of us. We just get going on a project when suddenly, we are made aware something new that hooks our interest. The Distractor is a master at scattering our efforts in random directions so we don’t make sufficient progress in any one direction. The Distractor keeps us very, very busy — our lives are interesting and full — yet we don’t seem to be getting anything done and we always seem to be running late. Our friends, families, and colleagues get fatigued trying to keep abreast of whatever’s captured our fancy today.

The Quitter

You’re chipping away at something when you hit a roadblock. Before you can seek or implement solutions, The Quitter wails in despair, “We’re doomed! We’re done! We can’t go on!” We end up walking away from a perfectly viable project…or delaying it’s progress unduly. While the Quitter may make our lives easier in the short term, it dooms us to longer term dissatisfaction and unhappiness. The Quitter interferes with our efforts on things we actually yearn to do.  When we don’t do them, we can’t help but feel like failures.  We emit that ‘loser’ energy few people want to be around.

***

If one or more of these Inner Enemies is sabotaging your thoughts, work, or relationships, take heart:  You are not alone.  Many people face the same inner demons.  There are proven way to overcome each of them. Step One is to

1.  Recognize what’s happening.

Given the sneaky nature of these inner saboteurs, job one is to detect them. (Hmmm. Why haven’t I picked up my banjo in a month? Good grief! The Delayer strikes again).

Once you are aware that an Inner Enemy is operating, dig deeper. Be specific:  what messages is the saboteur broadcasting in your brain? What actions are you taking because of it? What actions are you avoiding? What impact are you having on the people around you, personally and professionally?

***

Activity:  Begin with the Inner Enemy that is causing you the most disruption right now. Clear 5 – 10 uninterrupted minutes to write out (or type out) answers to the following questions.

– Name your Inner Enemy.

– What messages is it broadcasting?  What thoughts is it generating? (If in doubt, scan your mind for any negative, painful statements about yourself that you can latch onto).

– What actions are you taking because of this Inner Enemy?

– What actions are you avoiding because of it?

– What impact is this Inner Enemy having on your personal relationships?

– What impact is this Inner Enemy having on your professional relationships?

***

2. Look for effective countermeasures.

To fight The Fear Monger, try these techniques.

To defeat The Delayer, try these approaches.

If you are in the clutches of The Judge, try this book.

To disrupt The Distractor, try these techniques.

The best way to conquer The Quitter is to take action. Pick something — anything — to do and move forward. Here’s how.

***

The goal is to get into the swing of recognizing and countering your saboteurs as they arise.  When you get adept at this, you may even laugh at them.  “Oh, there’s ol’ Distractor tempting me with another bright, shiny project.  Nice try, D, but I’m going to finish the thing I’m working on first.”

**

*****

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So what’s a DaVinci to do?

We can train ourselves to focus on one thing at a time.

It’s helpful to corral our ideas. Otherwise, we can be at the mercy of random, ever-changing thoughts. We can train ourselves to take charge of our minds in a couple of ways.

First, we can practice controlling our thoughts through meditation. This can be as simple as pausing a few times a day to close your eyes and ‘be’ for three minutes. Clear your mind. Breathe. As thoughts pop up, gently push them aside.  When you can reliably take control of your brain during these brief mini-meditations, you are taming your ‘monkey mind’. You are learning how to be the master of your thoughts, rather than at their mercy.

Second, we can use structure to focus our ideas on specific tasks.

One way to apply structure is to prioritize.  Rather than doing random things in a random order, be deliberate. What is most important right now?  Choose something on which to focus right now.

The next step is to select a period of time for this priority.  You could choose to focus on it for fifteen minutes.  Or an hour.  Or all day. Or all week. The duration will depend on your unique circumstances — just how important is this priority? What else is competing for your attention? What would be a realistic, achievable commitment, given what’s going on in your life? A particular creative project may be our top priority but we can only give it an hour a day. So give it an hour a day. Actually spend an hour a day on it.

Now, consider your second highest priority. How much time can you spend on it?  Fifteen minutes a day, three times a week? Great. Do so.

If you are reacting to this approach with skepticism — perhaps you doubt the utility of fifteen minutes commitments, for example –I encourage you to try it. Odds are you can get more done in fifteen minutes than you expect. Certainly, you can get more done in fifteen minutes than if you spend zero time on something. Fifteen minutes, three times a week gives you 45 minutes of progress.

What works best among my coaching clients is to select minimum time commitments that they absolutely, positively know they can accomplish. It’s an achievable promise to themselves that is gratifying to accomplish. If they do more than the minimum, that’s a happy bonus.

As DaVinci’s we have more than one thing going on.  The challenge is to find the right combination of priorities and time commitments that work for our personal and professional lives.

Think of these time commitments a ‘time boxes’: precious gifts you give yourself (and your priorities) on a regular basis.  Once your top priority ‘time boxes’ are established, you’ll make steady progress on what’s important to you AND you’ll have the have freedom to juggle other projects, tasks, and activities as needed.

For example, my own top priorities these days are writing, making jewelry, working out, and walking my dogs.  I’ve worked out a pattern of time boxes so that these things happen regularly throughout the week. (I also commit to fifteen minutes a day of domestic duties because, alas, my household isn’t going to run itself).  Once all these time boxes are in place, my schedule still has lots of gaps for professional and personal activities — and the flexibility to do whatever needs doing at a particular time.

It’s the flexibility of this approach that makes it effective for DaVincis.  Once you establish your time boxes, you can adjust them to accommodate whatever else is going on in your life.

Let’s say you commit to thirty minutes of practicing guitar every day. Let’s say you have a day job with rigid hours. What will work best for you? Practicing before work, after work, at lunchtime or some combination of the three?  Likely you’ll figure out the pattern that works best for you by trial and error.

For example, I know I’m going to write for at least an hour today. I like to write in the morning but I don’t have to.  If, say, a client calls with an urgent issue, I can attend to that when it arises, then defer my writing hour to the afternoon.

The other essential step in this approach is to monitor your progress. There’s something intrinsically gratifying about crossing a commitment off your list as ‘done’ or giving your calendar color-coded star for different activities. It acknowledges your progress and motivates you to continue the practice. It reinforces that you are doing more of what you want (and, by extension, less of what you don’t).  Bonus points if you reward yourself for your accomplishments.

If you jot down some specifics about what you’ve done , you can save yourself time doing similar things in the future.  For example, I keep a log documenting things like the gauge of wire and the diameters of mandrels I use in making particular jewelry pieces. (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to look up my notes to fabricate something I was SURE I would remember. Yes, I could figure it out again but it’s much faster and less irksome to simply flip back a few pages and read what I did before).

Perhaps more importantly, when you make a regular practice of monitoring your progress, it makes it clear when things are not getting done. An absence of colored stars on your calendar or a dearth of notes in your documentation logs makes it much harder for things to slide of the rails. Without monitoring, distractions have a way of kidnapping your attention and efforts such that a month later you find yourself asking, “Um, when was the last time I did X?” and/or “Why did I stop?”  Instead, ask yourself proactively: how can I easily keep track of my progress on my time boxes?  Start monitoring your activities and, should you notice any lapses, take action to correct your course.

If doesn’t matter how much you’ve got going on:  you CAN make focused progress on what’s important to you. If you find your thoughts or efforts are scattered, pause and regroup. Focus your thoughts.  Prioritize.  Figure a way to time box your efforts, given your circumstances. Monitor your progress. Acknowledge your accomplishments and make adjustments as you go.

***

By Peter Wadsworth (Flickr) [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

To what extent do YOU play? A surprising number of DaVincis don’t play very much at all. We are juggling so many projects, ideas, and life demands that we don’t allow ourselves much, if any, playtime. If that sounds like you, please read on.

Play is important. It’s fun. It gives us energy. It sparks ideas. It enhances creativity. It gives us joy.  Every young mammal plays. It’s part of being alive. Of interacting with others. Of learning new behaviors.

What happens among people, however, is that many of us are told, at some point to “grow up”. To “get serious”. To “stop playing around”.  Most of us bow to societal pressure. Some of us impose restrictions on ourselves — limiting our playtime or doling it out it a miserly fashion, perhaps as a reward for certain achievements.  At some point, many of us just don’t play any more.

How about you?

First, what do you consider “play”. What’s fun for you? What are your favorite ways to play?  My client Janet loves to dance.  Hank adores computer games. James likes flying kites. Kim enjoys surfing.  I get a kick out of playing hide and seek with my dogs.

Take a moment to create your personalized “Play List”:  What are your favorite ways to play? What’s fun for you? Make a list.

Now: go thought your list and, beside each item, write down the last time you did it.

Review your list. Consider the patterns you see. Would you benefit from more play in your life?

If you start to balk — if you’re reaction is along the line of, “I can’t possibly” or “I have too much to do” or “I’ll play when I’m retired” — consider the benefits of regular play.

1. Play gives you energy.

If you feel sluggish or stressed out or or otherwise “icky”, odds are you need more play in your life. Once you give yourself the gift of regular playtime, you will have more energy to tackle your personal and professional responsibilities.

2. Play gives you ideas.

If you are stuck or slogging through a project, some playtime can create a shift in perspective to get you moving or spark a fresh approach.

3. Play enhances your creativity.

The more you play, the more innovative you can be.

4. Play improves your relationships.

Play makes you happy. When you are happier, your personal and professional interactions are more positive. You are easier to be with.

5.  Play is an antidote for procrastination.

If you are avoiding doing something, it’s because you’ve made the task into something onerous or Very Important or otherwise terrifying. No wonder you are hesitating to being. To the extent you can shift your attitude to “Okay let me just play around with this a bit,” you can nudge yourself into moving forward. Play lets you take action from a more positive, less fearful place.

6.  Play is an antidote for perfectionism.

If you tend to be hard on yourself — if you tend to set high expectations of yourself and others — you know the pain of perfectionism. You sit down expecting to make “something excellent”. This sets up a dynamic so that whatever you are trying to create is being judged at its very genesis. This is crazy-making. It’s impossible to simultaneously generate new thoughts — and keep them coming — if you are jumping all over them, judging them as soon as they emerge.

A different approach is to compartmentalize. First, allow yourself some playtime to generate — without judgment. Go ahead and slap one some paint, jot down that first draft. Just get it out there. Play around with whatever tickles your fancy. Enjoy your creativity!  Have fun with it. Then, when the generation phases concludes, revisit your project to assess and hone as needed.

***

Whether or not you believe in the value and benefits of play, why not give it a try? Try to add some playtime to your week this week. See what happens.

***

Activity: This week, make a point of playing every day. If this is a challenge for you, commit to play at least five minutes every day.

Bonus Activity: If there is something on your ‘play list’ you haven’t done for a while, make a point of doing it this week.

***

Now let’s say, it’s a week from today and, somehow you didn’t play. At all.  For whatever reason, you didn’t give yourself even five minutes of playtime.

What interfered?  What stopped you?

Take a moment and answer honestly.

Maybe life intervened.  Perhaps you had way too much going on. Hmm. I’d like to challenge you on that. Surely there were ways to inject some play into the tasks at hand. Certainly you could give yourself five minutes to play a bit of Wii Golf or a round of backgammon or to try doing a cartwheel in the backyard.

Maybe it’s guilt?  Do you need permission to play?  Do you feel that you haven’t yet ‘earned’ your playtime? Allow me to help:  Because you’ve read this far, you have absolutely earned at least five minutes of play every day for the next week (and beyond).

Let’s try the activity again:

***

Activity: This week, make a point of playing every day. If this is a challenge for you, commit to play at least five minutes every day.

Bonus Activity: Play at least five minutes a day, every day, for the next year.  See what happens.

***

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Kaushik.chug [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

Perhaps you’ve found that taking short breaks throughout the day improves your focus and reduces your stress.  Maybe you’ve discovered the mental and physical benefits of daily meditation. Perhaps you’ve found that, if you don’t get to the gym in the morning, you won’t exercise all day. Maybe you’ve found a way to motivate yourself using quotas or particular time management techniques.

Now ask yourself:  How many of these things have you done today?  This week?  This month?

One of the great ironies of being a human being is that we find things that work for us — practices or habits that make us happy or healthy or productive — and then we don’t do them.

We start off great guns, say, drinking an extra glass of water before each meal.  We find that we feel better.  We snack less.  Our skin looks better.  We commit to making this a regular daily practice.  And for a time we do.  Then, a couple of months later, we feel parched and cranky and we realize it’s been weeks since we’ve done this very simple thing that we know works for us.

It doesn’t really matter why we do this to ourselves, so long as we implement some tools to short-circuit this tendency.  It can be as quick and easy as making a list of what works well for us, keeping it handy and reviewing this list on a regular basis — daily, weekly and/or monthly — whatever schedule is effective for you.

Bonus points if you reward yourself for doing the things on your list.  Why not?  You’ve earned it.  Plus it’ll reinforce the likelihood you’ll keep doing what works well for you, going forward.

Similarly, it’s helpful to remind ourselves about what we know from experience does NOT work for us.  Perhaps you’ve noticed that  whenever you succumb to the siren calls of social media first thing in the morning, you tend to get hijacked by distractions . . . whereas if you defer email and social media until later in the day, you get a solid block of productive work done.  Maybe you know that you’re apt to snack excessively when under stress . . . which doesn’t do anything other than make you cross with yourself.

It’s not rocket science, but it works:  if you list those things you want to avoid doing, review these items regularly, and hold yourself accountable, you’ll be more effective, more productive and more content.

There’s also a benefit to reminding yourself of your own personal quirks and patterns — especially when it comes to creative projects.  For example, among us there are ‘plodders’ and there are ‘bursters’. Plodders chip away at projects methodically, at a reasonable pace, generating regular, steady output.  They work well with quotas — aiming to get so many things done per day or per week.  Bursters, on the other hand, tend to need a dormant ‘percolation period’ (which is really more of a teeth gnashing, popcorn munching, garment rending frenzy of seemingly non-relevant activities) before finally (usually at the last moment), generating an extraordinary amount of work, boom boom boom, in short order.   Bursters thrive on adrenaline and riding those creative roller coasters. A ‘plodder’ is might a blog post every day, five days a week.  A burster might also write five blog posts during the same week…but they’ll spend four days doing god knows what and then boom! create and publish all five on Friday.

(Note that you are not wed to either category exclusively.  You may be a plodder in some activities and a burster in others.)

The point of this is that once you are aware of how you tend to operate, you can schedule things accordingly.  You can do what works well for you without stress or guilt or shame.  “Yes, I’m a burster and that’s okay. It’s fine if ‘my process’ means I need to do random activities for a bit.  There’s no need to freak out about that.  I know whatever needs to get done will get done by deadline.”

Here’s an opportunity to play anthropologist with yourself as a subject:  Observe yourself over a week or a month and take notes on what you notice.  What are your unique behavioral patterns as you go through different activities in your life. Go beyond the plodder/burster tendency:  When do you have the most energy? Under what circumstances are you happiest and most productive?   What makes things easier for you?  What can you simply not avoid doing? What causes you undue stress?

Why bother?  The better you know yourself, the easier it is to be happy, healthy and productive. Know what works well for you and what doesn’t.  Remind yourself of these items regularly.  Hold yourself accountable. Find ways to do more of what you love, in ways that are gratifying — and to avoid those patterns that are unhealthy, unhelpful or unpleasant.

***

Activity:  Jot down your typical patterns of behavior when working on a creative project. What is your typical approach? What challenges do you have to overcome repeatedly?  Are you a plodder or a burster?

Activity:  Make a list of what works well for you.  What increases your contentment, productivity and well-being?

Activity:  Make a list of what you know does NOT work well for you.  What’s unhealthy or unhelpful?  What causes undue stress, distractions, squandered energy or opportunities?

Activity:  Make an appointment to review your lists regularly on a suitable schedule — daily, weekly, monthly or quarterly.

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

CCO creative commons image via pixabay

Sometimes we get stuck, creatively.  We reach an impasse or a seemingly impossible obstacle or challenge.   Here are some ways to blast through those creative blocks:

1.  Be a troubled teen. 

Consider a sulky, sullen, hormone-ravaged, limit-testing teenager.  How would they approach the project?

If you don’t have handy access to a teen, re-awaken your past:  Think about aspects of your teenage life.  What were your favorite foods?  Clothes?  Friends?  Activities?  What did you like best and least about school?  What were your favorite books, music, films and television programs? What did you wear?

Ideally, jot down everything you can remember about your teen years.  What gave you joy at that time?  What issues did you face?  What was your personality like? What was a typical school day like?  What was a typical summer day for you?  Describe your home. Your neighborhood. Your goals and ambitions.

To enrich your recollections, ask a friend or family member what kind of teen you were.  Inquire about things they recall from your adolescence.

Again, to the extent you can replicate experiences from your youth, the better.  Listen to some music you loved at that time. Don clothes reminiscent of what you wore in your teen years.

Once you’ve revived your inner teenager, take a fresh look at your project.  How would your adolescent self proceed?

2.  Travel

Travel provides new sights, hear new sounds, taste new tastes, smell new scents, feel new energy while meeting new people, locations and cultures.

It can take the form of an afternoon spent exploring a new neighborhood or a daytrip to a nearby forest or a vacation in a new country. The more different the destination is from your experience thus far, the greater the impact on your creativity. Yet even a walk around the block can disrupt a creative block.

Now it’s most effective to travel in person but sometimes that’s not practical or possible.  (It would amazing to witness the view from the top of Mount Everest but few of us have the physical stamina and the financial means to make that happen).

Thanks to technology, we can explore much of the world easily, efficiently and economically. We can watch foreign films, travel television shows and documentaries.  We can survey the world’s heritage sites and major art collections online.

3. Ask someone.

Tell a trusted friend or colleague about your creative project and your current block.  Ask how they would proceed.

Note the encouragement to be selective here.  Be prudent in your choice of confident.  Only consult with people who you completely trust — people who inspire you and make your heart sing.  People who truly love you unconditionally.

Avoid mentioning your block to anyone who might have any ulterior motive in advising you. A stranger on social media.  A possible competitor.  A family member who is trying to ‘protect’ you from ending up in the gutter, heartbroken and destitute so you might as well pack in this particular project and get a nice, safe office job, honey.  (To pick a random example.)

4.  Consult a hero.

Who are your creative heroes — living and not?  Whom do you most admire, personally and professionally?

If you could consult with *anyone*, whose brain would you most want to pick?  With whom would you love to discuss your project?

If the person is living, you do have the option of reaching out to them.  Thanks to today’s technology and social media, it’s possible to communicate with just about anyone.  It doesn’t hurt to ask.

If your creative hero is not reachable — or not inclined to answer — you can still ask for their advice in absentia.  Ask yourself:  How would my hero proceed with my project?  If so-and-so was in this situation, what would they do?

5.  Take a walk.

Research has proven that taking a brief walk boosts creativity.  It doesn’t matter if you walk inside or outside, oddly.  An eight minute walk anywhere is enough to significantly increase your creative juices and ideas.

***

Creative blocks can be annoying, frustrating and concerning — but they are also temporary and solvable.  Try any of the preceding techniques to see what works for you.

***

For more tips and techniques, check out my workbook  BE MORE CREATIVE:  101 Activities to Unleash and Grow Your Creativity

***

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By AndrewHorne [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

One problem:  it’s easy for our Monkey Minds to hop around erratically from thought to thought, from project to project, from ‘the task at hand’ to any number of procrastinating activities. This can disrupt our focus and our progress by scattering our efforts in random ways.

Another cost of over-thinking: we can over-complicate things. It’s ridiculously easy for us to create great drama out of simple situations. We can generate a thousand ‘what if’s’ and complications for any scenario…none of which are very likely or relevant. We can think of convoluted rationalizations to talk ourselves into — or out of — things we shouldn’t. We can see problems where there really aren’t any. We can get sucked into a never-ending loop of activity, aiming for an unrealistic level of perfection.

And then there’s the impact our overthinking has on others. The way our brains function can be bewildering, or intimidating, or annoying to those around us.  We can introduce new information or options at a time when it doesn’t seem relevant to the task at hand. We can ‘download’ and share too many ideas at once, making others confused or uncomfortable or confused. We can inadvertently squash other people’s ideas because they assume we’ve already thought of it.

Without meaning to, we can push people away. They may not want to disturb us or challenge us in the midst of a brainstorm. We can give off a negative vibe. Women who think too much risk “Resting Bitch Face” — looking angry when we’re really not. This occurs when the wheels are turning happily in our brains and we’re not aware of the position of our facial muscles. It’s not fair, but our society is such that if your face looks tense or serious or the corners of your mouth aren’t up, people may assume you are unhappy or negative or unpleasant and interact with you, accordingly.

Alas, there are costs to our oh-so-active minds. So what’s an overthinking DaVinci to do?

1. Be aware.

Be attentive to what you are experiencing. If something feels unnecessarily fraught or difficult or complicated, pause and take stock. Ask yourself: Am I overthinking this?

2.  When possible, simplify.

There are many, many roads to Rome.  If something seems over-complicated — if you’re mired in too many details and options — ask: Is there a simpler or easier way forward?

3.  Train your Monkey Mind.

You don’t have to be held hostage by the thought pinging around your brain. You can learn to control and manage your thoughts through techniques such as meditation.  It can be as quick and easy as pausing two or three times a day for less than five minutes to simply “be.”

4. Capture and manage your ideas.

What are simple, easy ways you can capture your thoughts and ideas as you go through your day? On paper — in a small notebook, index cards or post-its? Digitally — in your computer, tablet, organizer or phone? Tape recorders and voice mailboxes also work great – and are especially useful for musicians, singers and composers to capture auditory ideas. When you get in the habit of capturing and saving your ideas, you know they are safe — and you tend to generate more and better ideas.

If you are working on something and new thoughts arise, you can capture them, then ‘park’ them for later so you’re not distracted from the task at hand.

5.  Watch for cues from others.

Be attentive to the impact of your Monkey Mind on people around you. They may well love your contributions…but there’s a probably a limit. Reel in the need to express every thought, idea, and option that crosses your cranium. Edit what you share and how you share it.

6.  Help like-minded others.

When you notice someone else is over-thinking or over-complicating things, ask if there’s an easier or simpler alternative. Together, your Monkey Minds can no doubt generate countless other options.

***

Question:  What do you notice when your Monkey Mind is active? What kinds of things do you do? What triggers you to over-think things? What kinds of things do you do or experience when you overthink things? What do you notice in the people around you when you over-think or over-complicate things?

Question:  Think of a specific instance when you over-complicated a situation. What happened? How did you feel? What were the consequences?

Thinking back on it now, what might have been a simpler way forward?

Question: What are the simple, easy ways you can capture and manage your ideas on a regular, ongoing manner?

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here for only $3.99: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

CCO creative commons image via pexels.com

Are you stuck? Is motivating yourself a challenge? Are you procrastinating or wasting time or otherwise NOT doing what you intend?  Maybe you are chipping away at some task…but doing so unproductively or less effectively than you’d like. If you haven’t done so recently, you may wish to revisit the notion of “quotas” — of assigning yourself a minimum amount of tasks to be completed within a given amount of time.

For example, many writers commit to a daily minimum of words or page written. Business people may aim for a certain number of cold calls or new clients per week or per month. Dancers, musicians, and athletes may set goals for certain amounts of specified training or practice on each day of each week.

One reason quotas can be especially effective for DaVincis – smart, creative people juggling several talents, projects and ideas — is that quotas provide a very light structure to support and enhance creativity. It’s simple guiding notion — rather than a complex, oppressive, 9-to-5 prison.

Quotas can motivate you do get things done — while still providing you with flexibility in how or when you do so. For example, if I commit to write (at least) four articles a week, I can do them whenever I want, fitting them in among whatever else my week holds. It doesn’t matter what arises in work or any other life domain . . . as long as a minimum of four pieces are filed by end of day Friday.

Besides flexibility, another upside is that quotas tend to specific a ‘minimum’. Once you accomplish your intended goal, it’s intrinsically gratifying. As a bonus, if you choose to, you can do more, which can feel even better. In fact, my coaching clients often find it more motivating to assign a conservative quota that it is relatively easy…and oh so pleasant…to achieve, in part because it often stimulates them to do more — to exceed their minimum target.

Quotas have other benefits as well.

They can ensure you are actually participating in the things you wish to do. Just as they work for professional activities, they also can work for other areas of life. If you are looking to improve your nutrition, you could make a point of eating a salad every day. If you love to read, why not aim to read a book a week or a month (or whatever rate make sense your life situation)?  If you love being outdoors but notice it’s been weeks since you did so, establishing a minimum ‘time outside’ target can ensure you don’t let this simple pleasure slip get forgotten amid everything else you’re doing.

It’s up to you to decide what’s important.

***

Activity:  What would you like to be doing more of? What are you not doing enough of? Make a list. Now, for each item on your list, ask yourself: what would be an appropriate target quota to aim for, given your life circumstances these days?

***

Also consider that quotas can motivate you to tackle activities that are less enjoyable but necessary.  For example, if you don’t like housework, you could set a minimum amount of time per day or per week to your chores. It’s surprising what you can get done in even fifteen minutes a day. Alternatively, you could create a realistic list of minimum ‘to do’ tasks for the week.

When tackling things you don’t enjoy doing, it’s important to choose the smallest, easiest, more conservative quota possible. If your target is too ambitious, you won’t do it and you’ll feel worse about it. If in doubt, aim for less.

***

Activity:  What necessary activities do you find it difficult to make yourself do? Make a list. Now, for each item on your list, ask yourself: what would be the smallest, easiest, most conservative target quota you could aim for, given your life?

***

Along the same lines, quotas are great for starting new healthy habits.

For best results, being with laughably small targets. For example, let’s say you don’t like to exercise but would like to start. Rather than beginning by committing to run for thirty minutes every day, why not start with something you KNOW you can do — and that you know you WILL do — such a walking at least six minutes a day. Start with that. When you do this reliably for, say, a week, you might replace one minute of your walking with one minute of running. Gradually, as you experience success meeting a particular quota, you could increase the challenge a titch. If you did so, it wouldn’t take that long before you were, actually, running for thirty minutes a day, three times a week.

***

Activity:  What healthy habits would you like to start? Make a list. Pick whichever of these is most important or most interesting for you right now. Now, ask yourself: what would be a laughably easy way to begin?

***

Quotas can also curtail unhelpful or unhealthy behaviors.

If you are an internet junkie, for example, you can use quotas to help you shift your habit.  You could limit your internet surfing to, say, 30 minutes per day. This gives you permission to indulge but prevents you from over-indulging.

***

Activity:  What unhealthy or unhelpful habits do you have? What would you like to be doing less of? Make a list. Pick whichever of these is most important or most detrimental for you right now. Now, ask yourself: what would be reasonable new limit on this activity?  What target quotas can you commit to?

***

Quotas can be reinforced and enhanced with rewards.

While meeting quotas in intrinsically gratifying, you can solidify your preferred behavioral patterns by rewarding yourself whenever you meet your quotas.  This is especially true if you are using quotas to curtail an unwanted behavior:  I strongly suggest you reward yourself for each and every successful accomplishment along the way.

The challenge with rewards, however, is that many of us have a hard time actually treating ourselves. It’s up to you to identify what are fitting, pleasant, reasonable, do-able rewards for meeting your target. It doesn’t work if you promise yourself a massage a week for exercising if you don’t then actually enjoy a massage for each week you exercise.

It’s up to you to actually treat yourself. It’s up to you to set up your rewards so they really happen when you meet your goals.

***

Activity: What is a quota you’d like to establish?  What would be a pleasant and fitting and do-able reward you would enjoy for meeting your goals?  How can you put this in place so it actually happens?

***

Will quotas work for you?

It depends on the nature of your creative work, your personality, your situation, and your personal preference.

Reflect for a moment:  Have quotas worked well for you in the past? Are you using them currently? If not, might it be an opportunity to reinstate them? Do they need any tweaking?

If quotas have not worked well for you in the past, ask yourself why not?  Were you overly ambitious in your targets or time frames?  Were your targets too complex or numerous for your schedule?  If so, would a more conservative approach work better for you?

If you haven’t yet tried using quotas as a motivational technique, give them a try. See to what extent they can help you get more done with less procrastination and stress along the way.

***

By Lyn Lomasi [CC0], from Wikimedia Commons

Guess what?

* If you’re emails, tweets & Facebook posts are free of spelling mistakes, you just might be a perfectionist.

* If you noticed the typo in the previous sentence, you might just be a perfectionist.

* If you get frustrated fast when you are learning a new skill and haven’t quite got the hang of it yet, you just might be a perfectionist.

* If you have a wonderful dinner party . . . and you find yourself beating yourself up after your guests leave when you realize you forgot to serve the grapes with the hand-dipped chocolates . . . you just might be a perfectionist.

* If you ignore a dozen terrific reviews to fret about the one lousy writeup you got, you just might be a perfectionist.

* If your loved ones are hesitant to show you their creations, you just might be a perfectionist.

* If you score 96% on something…and yet you feel a tad disappointed, you just might be a perfectionist.

What’s in a label?

No-one likes to be labeled.  Nobody enjoys thinking of themselves as anything but their unique self. In this case, however, the value of the label “perfectionist” is that it alerts you to patterns of behavior that are (a) hurting yourself and (b) affecting others around you.  The label per se isn’t important — but what is key is that you are aware of how this concept is affecting you.

How does Perfectionism affect you?

1.  It generates excessive stress.

If you’re picky, hard on yourself or have high standards, you’re putting yourself under excessive stress.  You’re probably toiling, rather than working. You’re making life much more difficult than it needs to be.

2.   It puts those around you under excessive stress.

I promise you that if you are stressing over something, you are not doing so solo, in a vacuum.  You are leaking stress onto everyone with whom you come in contact — your colleagues, your friends, your family, your pets and innocent passersby as well.  Think of the family member you snapped at or the slow cashier you stomped away from.  When you’re stressed out, you leave few in your wake unscathed.

3.  It makes you judgmental.

You may think you are open to experience, tolerant of others and otherwise Zen.  And perhaps you’re all of those things to some extent.  But part of being perfectionistic is a process of constantly evaluating yourself.  And others.  And how things are done — or should be done.  You frequently make judgments– especially when things unfold differently from your expectations.

5.  Fear and anxiety are your constant companions.

You fret.  You worry.  You’re afraid of how things are unfolding.  This takes its toll physically,  psychologically, professionally and socially.  Think of the ‘nervous Nellies’ you know.  How healthy are they?  How pleasant to be around?  Think of them as mirrors.

6.  You tend to be a pessimist.

You tend to expecting the worse (I’ll never finish and if even if I do, this is going to be terrible).  When negative events do happen, you tend to extrapolate and exaggerate them. (See?  I didn’t get the part.  I’m a lousy actor.  I’m a complete failure.  My whole life is a waste.  I’m worthless.)

7.  You’re a control freak.

You are detail-oriented to a fault.  You expend a lot of energy trying to control outcomes, regardless of whether or not you actually have any power to affect how things unfold.  Part of fretting or worrying, for example, is a false way of attempting to control the future.  It’s as if your subconscious believes that if you pay your dues by worrying enough about it, it’ll turn out alright.  I promise you, it’s going to turn out the way it’s going to turn out . . . regardless of how much you worry or don’t worry.

8.  Contentment is rare and fleeting.

You are rarely satisfied with yourself and with circumstances.  Even when things turn out magnificently, your happiness is brief.

So what’s a perfectionist to do?

I’ve written a comprehensive book on how to Overcome your Perfectionism.  If the preceding points ring true for you, I hope you’ll check it out.  In the meantime, here are some basic steps you can take to begin to curtail your perfectionism:

1.  Be aware.

Monitor yourself for signs of stress, fear, anxiety and pessimism.  Notice when you judge yourself or others.  Realize when you are trying to control the situation…or others.  Observe your effect on others.

2.  Interrupt perfectionistic behaviors.

When you catch yourself judging or controlling or fretting…stop.  Pat yourself on the back for recognizing your perfectionism when it happens.

3.  Aim for ‘good enough‘ rather than perfect.

Life is imperfect.  It’s impossible for everything to be ideal in every moment in every life domain.  Learn to loosen your very high standards so that you are content with ‘good enough’ rather than making yourself crazy striving for perfection.

4.  Practice acceptance.

Learn how to accept your situation as it is, accept others as they are…and also to accept yourself especially when you feel you’re falling short in some way.

5.  Learn to relax.

By learning  meditation and relaxation techniques, you will disrupt the stress and fear that underlies perfectionistic behaviors.

6.  Be kind to yourself.

Perfectionists are notorious for beating themselves up — for being hard on themselves.  Counter this by treating yourself well.   Try the carrot instead of the stick to motivate yourself.  Savor frequent simple pleasures. Ensure your life is well balanced.  Live healthfully.

*****

Activity: Answer the following questions:

What do you do that indicates that you might just be a perfectionist?

How does your perfectionism affect you?

How does your perfectionism affect others?

What can you do to reduce your perfectionism?

*****
For a comprehensive approach to Overcoming Perfectionism, check out my book, available in hardcover, paperback & eBook formats here: http://bit.ly/PerfectionismSolutions

*****

How about you?  In the comment box below, please tell us how you know you’re a perfectionist…and/or what’s helped you deal with it.

*****

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By Saffron Blaze [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

Let’s begin by taking stock of your current situation.

Self-Assessment: How Balanced is your Life?

1. How satisfied are you with your life?

Let’s begin by creating a  picture of your present life.  Literally.  First, make a list of the life domains that are important to you (e.g. health/fitness, homelife, social, career/professional, learning/education, spiritual, creative expression, travel/adventure/fun, community service, etc.) — this will be different for everyone so select and label the categories to suit your own unique circumstances. Once you’ve created your personalized list of Important Life Domains, rate your satisfaction with each on a scale of 0 – 10 (where ‘0’ means ‘completely dissatisfied’ and ’10’ means ‘extremely satisfied’.

Next, draw a circle.  Divide the circle into equal segments, each representing your personalized list of Important Life Domains. It should look like a perfectly portioned pie.  Now, draw a line from the middle of the circle to to the top.  Divide the line into equal spaces, numbered 0 – 10.  The center of the circle represents ‘0’ while the outer perimeter represents ’10’.  Half way is ‘5’ and so on.  Using this line as a guide, plot your satisfaction scores for each segment.  For a clear image of your current life balance, draw a line to join the plot points. If it looks like a circle, your life is beautifully balanced.  If it looks lopsided, some Important Life Domains are getting shortchanged.  What’s happening in your circle?  Which Important Life Domains need some attention?

2.  How much time do you give yourself each day?  Each week?

(This is meant to be a general, off-the-cuff estimate… however if you feel compelled to do a detailed analysis of your time use, here’s how).

The point is to be honest:  Are you giving yourself short shrift?  If so, you’re not alone:  in coaching corporate executives and successful artists, it’s astonishing how many clients burst into tears when I asked them if they could give themselves twenty minutes a day.  Here’s the thing:  if you’re not attending to your own needs, you’re not being effective in meeting the needs of everyone else who depends on you.

3.  How much time do you spend growing or nurturing your mind each day?  Each week?

Your creativity springs from your vibrant imagination.  If you’re not attending to your brain, you are curtailing your creativity.  Ditto if you are engaging in behaviors known to harm your brain — like overindulging in alcohol.

4.  How healthy are you?  How much time do invest in maintaining or strengthening your body each day?

The goal is not to look like an airbrushed magazine cover.  The goal is health.  This is another fundamental ingredient in life balance.  When you take good, basic care of your body, you create the energy to do everything else.

5.  To what extent do you engage in your preferred spiritual practices?

Whatever the nature of your spiritual beliefs, it’s essential to incorporate the practices you find fulfilling and soothing.  It doesn’t matter if it’s a weekly walk in nature or stopping once a day to meditate or observing particular rituals or simply taking a moment to express appreciation for the blessings in your life.  To what extent are you finding time and space to nourish your spirit?

6.  How well do you sleep?  Do you experience any sleep disturbances?

Studies show that optimum sleep patterns for adults is seven hours a night.  DaVincis often have so many thoughts pinging around their brains, they often find it tough to fall asleep.  Sometimes they wake up in the middle of the night bursting with ideas.  When creative people find their mood dipping down, it can trigger over-sleep and unusual difficulty waking up in the morning. Sometimes multi-talented people deprive themselves of sufficient sleep as a way of trying to gain more productive hours in the day.  If this becomes a established pattern, it can have long-term consequences  for your physical and mental health.

7.  In what shape are your finances?

Are you managing your money effectively?  How do you feel about money in general — Fear? Anger? Joy? Avoidance?  What are your beliefs about wealth?  About wealthy people?  Financial concerns and beliefs are enormously important in developing a contented, creative life.   How are you faring in this aspect of life?

8. How stressed are you?

On a scale of 0 – 10, how stressed are you on an average day?  (Where zero means “I’m a human noodle, completely stress-free” and ten means “I’m shaking, frothing and my hair is about to combust”).  Stress is inversely proportional to life balance.

9. To what extent are your ideas being heard and developed?

A key element of life balance is making meaningful contributions to each of your Important Life Domains.  For each, ask to what extent your ideas are being heard and developed.  You may find that your ideas are flourishing at work but that your thoughts at home are being squelched, silenced or otherwise curtailed.  To what extent are you giving yourself the time and space to develop your creative ideas?

10.  How well do you treat yourself?  How do you reward yourself?

These are two different but equally important questions. How you treat yourself determines how others treat you.  How you reward yourself (or don’t) affects your motivation and effectiveness.

*****

Activity:   Clear some private, uninterrupted time to go through this self-assessment.  Answer each of the 10 questions.  In which respects are you balanced?  In which are you not? Make a list of what’s working well and what isn’t.

*****

*****

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

CCO creative commons image via pixabay

For a while there, I was quite worried about my husband’s health. He was not eating healthfully, exercising, or sleeping well. He was stressed out, sedentary, and generally not delighted. I was concerned.

Then, out of the blue, he got back into photography. This was once a happy passion of his — but one, sadly, he had shelved for the past few years.  Thankfully, as soon as he started taking photos again, his whole energy changed. He happily planned local excursions to shoot new material. He deep-dived into researching new technology and techniques for shooting, editing, and printing.  He shifted his schedule to include some photography time every day.  His smile reappeared, as did a spring in his step.  His transformation reminded me just how important creativity is to our health and well-being.

You’ve probably seen in it your own life:  when you are create, you are healthier. You have more physical and mental energy. Your mind works faster. Your mood is elevated.  You sleep better.  You take better care of yourself. Compare this to how you feel when you are not creating:  your energy is lower. You are more sluggish in mind and body.  You are probably crankier and more pessimistic. Your sleep is likely to be disrupted. You may self-medicate with booze or junk food or random chemicals.

Research supports our anecdotal experiences.  Creativity can lower heart rate, blood pressure and levels of stress hormone. Scientific studies have proven the therapeutic effects of crafting in managing pain, alleviating stress, reducing depression, and enhancing cognitive functioning. This literature review summarizes the research that has chronicled many mental and physical benefits of expressing creativity through music, visual arts, movement, and writing.

These studies reinforce what many of us have experienced: Creativity elevates our mood and reduces stress.  When we create, we take better care of ourselves. Let’s dive deeper.

Creativity elevates our mood and reduces stress.

First and foremost, creative expression is an instant mood lifter. It’s fun. It feels good.  It makes us happy.  When we get in ‘the zone’, our minds and bodies relax.  Our neurons emit happy endorphins producing euphoria and blocking pain. (How do dancers dance on broken toes?  Endorphins.)

Let’s compare that to what happens when stress hormones such as cortisol are emitted by our cells. In the short term, stress hormones are very helpful and essential to our nature. They allow us the physical capacity for ‘fight or flight’ on the spot.  They instantly amp up our fear.  They divert energy towards our limbs and circulation while suppressing immune, digestive, reproductive and growth systems.  This is wonderfully helpful if we need to, say, fight off a shark attack or run away from a bear.

These biological responses are also triggered by modern day stresses like the bosses’ random demands, commuting, paying bills, and so forth. The body detects our stress and tries to help. The problem is that, unlike shark attacks which are relatively brief, modern stressors persist. When stress persists, our biological responses persist, too. Our fear remains amped up. Our immune, digestive, reproductive and growth systems remain suppressed. The longer this state persists, the greater the damage to our bodies and our health.

One way to curtail the ravages of stress hormones is by meditation.  Taking a few 3-4 minute meditation breaks in the day can be enough to disrupt and offset stress.

Much as I enjoy and appreciate meditation, it can be challenging to commit to a regular meditation practice.  And frankly, it’s not exactly exciting. A more fun way to offset stress is to create.

The more time we spend creating, the more endorphins we release, the happier we are and the less stress hormones we emit.

But here’s a caveat: if you create for a living, you may find your creative process has been infiltrated by all kinds of stress-producing elements. The budget!  The stakeholders!  The critics!  All these pressures can curtail the health benefits of your creative endeavors.

To the extent you can focus on the creative aspects of your job, rather than the practical, the healthier you will be.

To do this, you need to first, monitor your stress level i.e,. pause and take note, several times a day. Second, you need to take action accordingly.  If you are feeling happy and relaxed, carry on. If, however, you are stressed or brooding or unhappy, pause and problem solve:  Do you need a break? Do you need help?  Do you need a different approach?  What is REALLY the problem:  the situation or your fears or feelings about it?  What is solvable?

What can you put in place to monitor and curtail your stress level?  Some people find it helpful to wear a FitBit or other bio-monitoring device. Some prefer to pause a few times a day to check their mood and stress level, and then take action accordingly. Some make a point of inserting stress-reducing activities into their day.

***

Activity:  How can you monitor your stress level, several times a day?  Take a moment to think about what will work for you, given your unique circumstances and preferences. Make a list. Pick (at least) one. Now make a point of implementing it this week.

***

Alternatively, what creative expression do you enjoy, outside of work? This is where DaVincis — multi-talented people — have a real advantage in life. Most of us have many creative pursuits, some of which are caught up in our identify and livelihood, and some of which are not. The latter can heal the stress induced by the former.

For example, as much as I love writing, it is woven up in practical factors such as my career and my identity as an author. I do adore making silver jewelry but I sometimes fret about the commercial appeal and distribution of my creations.  In contrast, I feel no such tangles with other creative pursuits I enjoy such as making tapestries or crafting birthday cards or mucking about with acrylic paints.  These are happy diversions done simply for the fun of it.

***

Activity:  What creative pursuits do you enjoy just for fun?  (Ideally these would be activities that have little or no connection to your personal identity or to your livelihood). Make a list. Of these, which are easy and fun for you to engage in most days? If you don’t already, make a point of indulging in some purely fun creative activities this week.  Even a half hour a day, several times a week can give you a huge mood boost.

***

The important thing here is to start.  To establish a habit of inserting stress-free creative expression into your regular week. Another way to do this is to sign up for a class.  You could learn a new skill or hone existing talents.  The advantage of a class is that it is a regular appointment with you and your talents. As well, it’s a change to connect with like-minded others. Or maybe you prefer to teach a class.  Or to set up a self-directed study via the internet. Whatever works for you to establish a routine of regular creativity.

Once you have regular opportunities for creativity in your life, your mood will life and your stress will decrease.  And you will gain other health benefits pretty easily:

When we create, we tend to take better care of ourselves.

We eat better. We give our body some attention. We lay off the booze or potato chips or chemical forms of self-medication.

Take a moment to think about what easy things you could do to improve your health.  Make a list.  (If you want some ideas, here are some).  Now, pick one thing to implement this week.  Once that becomes a regular habit, go back to your list and choose another idea. Implement it.

Why bother?

The healthier you are, the more you will fuel your creativity. The more creative you are, the healthier you will be.

***

Check out my workbook: BE MORE CREATIVE: 101 Activities to Unleash & Grow Your Creativity

Available here in hardcover, paperback & eBook formats: http://bit.ly/BeMoreCreativeBook

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people athttp://www.davincidilemma.com/.

By PeterPan23 [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

This is one of the stickiest challenges faced by a DaVinci — someone juggling many talents, projects, and ideas:  How to enjoy, develop, and succeed in multiple arenas, regardless of others’ reactions.

If you have more than one skill, you’ve no doubt experienced a range of reactions to your talents.  Sure, some people are appreciative and supportive. Yet others might be uncomfortable.

It doesn’t make logical sense: whatever you’re doing should have no bearing on how others view themselves. But it often does. Most notably among those prone to jealousy or competitiveness or self-doubt.  A scathing review may have more to do with the author’s own issue of self-worth than what you’ve actually done.

Now it’s one thing to receive a cold shoulder or some polite distance or a hurtful review. (Or worse, a mediocre review.  “Meh. It’s okay, I guess”).  These negative reactions can be especially challenging when expressed by someone is close to you. I’ve coached countless DaVincis who have suppressed or avoided talents, lest they overshadow a sibling or parent or spouse. What a sad irony! To miss out on something you love to avoid ‘hurting’ someone you love.

Now some will say — “Hey, if they really love you, they’ll want you to express your talents.” Sure, at some level. But at other — probably subconscious — levels, they may be exuding pain or disappointment in themselves and it’s natural for you to want to spare them that.

For example, you may end up focusing on other skills that the person doesn’t share, so there’s no implicit comparison or inadvertent competition.  One of my clients is very musical but he specifically avoided learning the instrument his older sister played.

So what’s a Triple Threat to do?

1. Be aware.

As a Triple Threat, know that you can irritate or scare others. Be sensitive to your impact on others. Be kind. Avoid trying to impress others. Avoid undue pride, arrogance, or obnoxiousness.

Be prudent in how you share your talents, under what circumstances, with whom. Just as you don’t tell strangers your entire life story, nor does it make sense to blurt out descriptions of your every skill, project, and accomplishment in one fell swoop. Allow different aspects of yourself to be revealed, as makes sense under the circumstances.

Let passion be your motivator, rather than external validation:  Come from a place of ‘This is what I love to do’ instead of ‘This is going to knock their socks off!’.

2.  Recognize what’s happening.

Understand that people are going to respond to your talents in random ways that may have very little to do with you. Their reactions might be more indicative of their own self-worth or comfort in their own skin or even the kind of day they’ve had.

3.  Savor the positive.

When you do receive true appreciation or support for your talents, be grateful.  It’s rare.

4. Minimize the negative.

Haters gonna hate. Trolls are gonna troll. Jealous people are gonna be jealous. Competitive people are going to see gauntlets everywhere they look.  There is NOTHING you can do to prevent these reactions.  What you CAN do is minimize the impact they have on you.

Is there any worthwhile kernel of helpful feedback in what they are saying? If so, accept it. If not, put it aside and move on.

5. Involve people you care about.

If you are experiencing a negative reaction from someone important to you, see if there’s a way to comfortably involve them in what you’re doing. Does it make sense to ask for their input? Is there some role they can play? Is there a way they can contribute to your endeavors? Alas, this isn’t always possible but when it is, proven way to transform negative vibes into something much more positive. Maybe even helpful.

One challenge of being a DaVinci is finding ways to share your talents comfortably with others — and managing negative reactions when they arise.  What’s worked well for you in the past? What hasn’t? What else might you try going forward? How can you use your creativity to devise new ways to manage the ‘threat’ that sometimes comes with being a ‘triple threat’?

*****

*****

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By Garry Knight from London, England (Gentle Exercise) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

What is Fulfillment?

Based on my fifteen years coaching people and groups, I’ve developed a model of fulfillment. It consists of three overlapping components:

1. Doing something of value. Something meaningful. Making a contribution to the world, to your family, to your company, and/or to yourself.
2. Being satisfied, content, gratified. Doing something that makes you happy or brings you joy.
3. Getting things done. Completion. Accomplishment. Achievement.

When something gives us two of these elements, it feels that much better. When something gives us all three, it is fully fulfilling.

***

Activity: Take a few moments to make three lists:

* What makes you happy?

* What gives you meaning?

* What are you accomplishing?

Circle any item that you’ve put on all three lists: this is the key to your fulfillment.

***

We are aware of our fulfillment at different levels:

* in life in general

* in our professional activities

* in our personal life (domestic, social, romantic, physical/fitness, learning/education/personal growth, spiritual)

* in our creative endeavors

Self-Assessment

Complete the following chart. On a scale of 1 – 10, to what extent are you:

What patterns do you see?

What implications are there for your present fulfillment?

What insights are there for your future fulfillment?

Your highest numbers indicate those aspects of your life that give you the most fulfillment. Your lowest numbers indicate areas that offer opportunities to feel more fulfilled, going forward.

For example, imagine if your work is meaningful to yourself and others and gives you joy…but you’re not accomplishing much. Any efforts you can put into figuring ways to get things done will enhance the fulfillment you feel.

If your personal life is rich and happy but your professional life is not satisfying, then what opportunities are there to enrich your professional life?

Once you have a snapshot of what gives you meaning, joy, and accomplishment in your life — and what doesn’t — you can take steps, accordingly. You can give more attention to those things you find meaningful or gratifying. You can get more done. You can give less attention to things that are unimportant or unpleasant or unproductive. You can nudge yourself towards a more fulfilled life.

*****

*****

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By Burty1 at en.wikipedia [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

Step One:  Sit.

By ‘sit’ I mean, “situate yourself as if you were about to begin”.  You might be sitting, you might be standing there amid your welding gear or trotting down the street, flagging a taxi to an important meeting.  Put yourself in whatever position you need to be to commence whatever it is you want to do.

Step Two:  Stay.

Okay, actually this is a multi-part step. First, decide on what would be a reasonable, do-able period of time to commit your focus to the task at hand — and ONLY the task at hand. This might be fifteen minutes of housecleaning or twenty minutes of making follow-up calls or thirty minutes walking on a treadmill or fifty minutes of writing or an hour of studying.  What sounds like a good time frame, given whatever it is you want to do? Note:  If in doubt, pick a shorter length of time.

Now: remove all distractions, to the extent possible.  Commit to focus ONLY on the task at hand for the period of time you’ve chosen.

Set a timer.

Once the timer is ticking, begin.

Keep going until the timer turns off.

Warning:  your monkey mind may try to hijack you during your period of focus.  It’s as if your brain is a naughty child who suddenly needs your attention, simply for the sake of getting your attention.  Don’t let it!  If a distraction pops up the midst of what you’re doing, defer it until the end of your chosen time period. If you suddenly think of a great idea, quickly jot it down, then resume what you were doing. If you suddenly remember you forgot to do something, defer it until the timer goes off. (Hey, you’re already late, what’s a few more minutes?).

Do whatever you have to to keep focus on your chosen task for the entire time you’ve selected. Give yourself the experience — and pleasure — of doing what you set out to do. It feels good!  Action feels much, much better than procrastination. And odds are high, you’ll keep going after that initial period.  This is because once we get moving, it’s easier to keep going.

It’s up to you:  when the timer does go off, you can either pause or keep going. You can take a break and then repeat the process. You can make it a daily practice.

This is such a simple technique and I’ve found it works with many different people trying to do myriad activities, under countless circumstances. There’s something about a timer than compels us to take action. Once we do so — once we actually start, we’ll actually make progress.

Trouble shooting: If you try this technique and don’t keep your focus on the task at hand for the entire time period, pick a shorter time period and try again. It may take a bit of trial and error to find the rhythm that words best for you.

Variation:  Sit!  Stay!  Play!

If you’d like to make this technique a regular practice, here’s a suggested enhancement:  do your activity for your chosen amount of time, then immediately reward yourself with some guilt-free play. (e.g. stretch, walk, have a cup of tea, read, listen to some music, meditate whatever  would be a good break for you).  Then repeat.

It’s up to you to find the  Sit / Stay / Play pattern that works best for you given what you’re trying to do, your circumstances, and your preferences. What periods of time for work and for play? When? How often?  Some people like to structure their days with  Sit/ Stay / Play periods scattered throughout.  Others like to distribute them throughout their week e.g. one Sit / Stay/ Play period per day, at least four times a week.

It’s also up to you to determine what “play” would be fun and rewarding — without causing other challenges.  Play might  include things like stretching, meditating, mindful eating, physical activity (yoga, jumping jacks, crunches or walking around the block), petting the dog, listening to a great song or simply lying down and resting your brain briefly.   Things that are pleasant, peaceful and a change from your major activity are ideal – and this will be unique to you and the task at hand.  Writers need to take a break from sitting at the keyboard whereas dancers need to rest their bodies.  Musicians may need some quiet time whereas actors may need to do the hokey-pokey.

Less likely to be successful as ‘play’ might things like shoveling unhealthy food into your gullet while maniacally surfing the ‘net while trimming your toenails.  Any multi-tasking, any stressful activity (like calling the cable company) or things difficult to stop after just five minutes (e.g. napping or computer Scrabble or chatting with a friend) should be avoided.  Again, this is highly individualized.   For example, ten minutes of internet surfing might be a nice ‘play’ activity after fifty minutes of writing for some people… but  not a good choice for a web info junkie who can’t stop after ten minutes.  If you find your “play” time is leaking into your Sit / Stay time, or causing other distractions, pick something else.

* * *

Activity: What would be good ‘play’ activities for you?  Make a list of ten pleasant, healthy things you could do as a 5 – 10 minute treat between blocks of focused activity.

Now:  Make a list of ten things that would NOT be ‘good play for you – things that are stressful or unhealthy or addictive i.e. likely to spill over into the next hour.

* * *

This week, try the Sit / Stay / Play method. Experiment to see what schedule or pattern works well for you.  Let us know how you do – message us or leave a comment below.

***

For more, check out my book LIFE LEVERS: Make Small Changes to Create Big Improvements in Your Life

***

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By mproopesh [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

How does that sounds to you? How do you react when you consider that you can live your life any way you want?  If you are excited about the prospects, please go do something about it right now.

If, however, you are skeptical — or fearful — or overwhelmed, please read on:

Let’s put things in context.  Once upon a time, people living in a common environment were expected to live similar lives. It made sense that people inhabiting a given location would eat similar things, dress similar ways, and behave alike.  For one thing, there were common,  often limited, resources that restricted diversity within a given group.  Over time, the group, itself, would impose overt and subtle pressures to conform to societal norms and expectations.  This created first tribal, then national, customs and traditions.

As the world continued to turn, people became exposed to varied environments, societies, and options. The more people explored, the more they became familiar with different ways other people lived — and the more options infiltrated into the cultural consciousness.  The more technology has advanced, the faster new options have been generated, the swifter they have been communicated, and the more they’ve multiplied. These days, people have an unprecedented range of possibilities available — in every area of life.

The bottom line for DaVincis is that we can use these rapid, myriad changes to our advantage.  We can pursue our multiple passions for fun and profit.  We can let our freak flag fly. We can create our own, unique version of “normal”.

Take a few moments to ask yourself:  What is fulfilling and gratifying for you?  What’s important?  What’s fun?  What’s pleasant? What makes life worth living?  How can you utilize your unique talents to create a life you love?

Once you sort out your current priorities, consider logistics:  given you your unique circumstances, preferences, and talents, how can you implement your own, unique New Normal?

Answering this may require research, creative problem solving, and trial-and-error. Keep an eye out for options and inspiration.  As you implement changes, pay attention to what works well and what doesn’t. What adjustments can you make going forward so that you are moving towards your preferred ‘New Normal’?

Next, how will you prepare yourself for the challenges that will arise?

By photo taken by flickr user *Micky* (flickr) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

We DaVincis have a tendency to set our sights on accomplishing more than we ever could during a given time period. We write such long ‘to do’ lists that whatever we do get done seems minimal compared to all there is left to so.  The tendency to over-subscribe ourselves is understandable — we are juggling multiple talents, projects, roles and ideas so yes, we have an awful lot to do.  However it’s also not particularly helpful.

Today, what is one important thing you could do for yourself? (Write it down)

Today, what is one important thing you could do for your business, profession, career or vocation? (Write it down)

What is one important thing you could do for your household today? (Write it down)

Today, focus on these three items.  Avoid  tackling other activities until these three things are completed.

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in Hardcover, paperback & eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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By Jessie Eastland [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

Now think about a really good day you’ve had. You wake up and all seems right with the world. You look forward to pleasant things unfolding during the day . . .  and, gosh . . . they do. Pleasant surprises occur to delight you. Your heart swells. People around you smile. At the end of the day, you reflect back and think about how good your life is.

How we frame our intentions for the day can have huge implications for how it unfolds. If we expect to have a good day, we do. If we don’t, we don’t.

You may well balk, saying something like, “Well it all depends on what happens during the day. I have no control over what happens.”

Yes, things happen. “Bad” things and “good” things occur every day. What differs, however, is how we process what unfolds. Ample research has shown that if we’re in a foul mood, “bad” events seem catastrophic, permanent, and a negative reflection on us, personally. If, in contrast, we’re in a positive frame of mind, “bad” events seem less severe, temporary, and external — having little to do with us, personally.

This doesn’t mean you need to be a naive PollyAnna, blithely believing that everything is hunky dory, regardless of reality. It means that, to the extent you expect to have a good day, you will. Whatever arises that is “bad”, you will process more rationally and you will deal with more effectively — without allowing it to define you as a person or otherwise ruin your life.

Even better, it’s easy to set yourself up to expect to have a good day. It’s as simple as taking a few moments early in your day to answer the question, “what would make today a good day?”. Make a list. Consider including:

* things you’d like to do — and that you expect you will do (e.g. finish that report; exercise for at least thirty minutes; listen to music). [Note: Avoid putting down a dozen ‘to do’s you have no hope of accomplishing before bedtime. Instead, only include activities you believe are do-able today].

* things you’d like to avoid (e.g. no complaining; no gossiping; no snacks between lunch and dinner)

* things you’d like to limit (e.g. a maximum of thirty minutes surfing social media; avoid checking email until noon; just one beer tonight)

Include at least one action step for whatever project or activity is your top priority or most fulfilling or most important to you.

Include at least one item devoted to your personal self-care. (e.g. eat a salad; have a nap)

Once you make your list, you have a choice:

Option 1: Keep your list with you and check off items as they occur.

Option 2: At the end of the day, review your list and check off those that manifested.

Personally, I prefer Option 1 because every time I put a checkmark beside an intention, it feels great and it gives me a little mood boost. It’s also cumulative: The more good things I see happening during the day, the more I enjoy the day, the more positive my outlook, the more pleasant my experiences, and so forth.

When I give this assignment to my coaching clients, they may be skeptical at first but as soon as they try it, they see the benefits. They feel better. They get more done. They are more pleasant to be around so they see a marked improvement in their personal and professional interactions and relationships. They look forward to the next day.

Many of the strongest skeptics become zealots for the technique, practicing it daily and encouraging others to do the same.

Try this activity tomorrow. See what happens.

***

 Activity: Tomorrow morning, make arrangements to spend five minutes first thing (or as early as you can fit into your day).

Ask yourself:  what elements would make today a good day?  Write down a list. Consider things you’d like to do — or not do. Include at least one action step for whatever project or activity is most important to you as well as at least one item of self-care.

Option 1: Keep your list with you and check off those items that manifest, as they occur.

Option 2: At the end of the day, review your list and check off those that manifested.

Bonus activity:  repeat this activity several more times this week.

***

Variation: A Very Good Day

If the Good Day technique works well for you, consider this variation: As you make your “Good Day” list, make a short list alongside it answering the question, “What would make this a VERY Good Day”. Select a few items, including:

* one activity you’d really *like* to do but doubt you’ll have time for today (e.g. an hour in my workshop/studio). [The idea here is to highlight what would be tops on your list if you find some extra time. This way, if you do manage to fit it into your day, it’ll be a happy bonus — but if it doesn’t get done, it’s not frustrating or disappointing…it just didn’t get done today].

* something pleasant but out of your control (e.g. I receive great news; a new client calls me out of the blue)

Again, you can either keep your “Good Day” and “Very Good Day” lists with you and check them off during the day or do a review of your list at the end of the day.

Now what my coaching clients and I find is that, when we actually write down a few items that would make the day “very good”, they often happen. When they do, it’s very gratifying.

Note that I use the term “Very Good Day” rather than “Perfect Day” or “Ideal Day” or “Very Special Day” because wow that’s a lot of pressure. Especially if you are making this a daily practice. However I have had a few clients who responded better to the stronger terms. It’s up to you. Use the phrasing that clicks for you, given your unique personality, preferences, experiences, and circumstances.

Which leads me to the next version of this technique.

Variation: Personalized to Your Top Priority

Another option is to tailor the daily morning question to whatever is most important for you. Think about what is your top priority and frame your daily list accordingly. For example:

      What would make this a healthy day for me?

      What would make this a productive day for me?

      What would make this a relaxing, peaceful day for me?

      What would make this a meaningful or fulfilling day for me?

      What would make this a lucrative day for me?

      What would make this a spiritual day for me?

 The possibilities are endless. However you choose to frame your day, that’s the day I wish for you.

***

Want more tips and technique for getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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By zaui/Scott Catron [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

What behaviors are you practicing?

It’s one thing to practice the things we want to hone or learn better.  Alas, many of us tend to practice things we don’t so much want to get better at.  We may find ourselves inadvertently becoming experts in unhelpful or unhealthy behaviors — such as procrastinating or fretting or stressing out or excessively surfing social media.   Again, whatever we do a lot of, we tend to get good at it.

What do you do over and over these days? What habits are you cultivating? Are you honing your talents . . . or are you getting very good at, say, procrastinating?  Are you learning new skills or are you perfecting your fretting?  Are you getting more comfortable with different audiences or situations . . . or are you finding that more and more of your day is frittering away to internet surfing or social media?

***

Question:  What behaviors are you practicing these days?  What do you do over and over?  Make a list

Of these, circle those which are unhelpful or unhealthy actions that are you would prefer to be doing less often.

Make a second list:  What would you rather be doing? What helpful or healthy behaviors you would prefer to get better at — or do more of? What would you like to be practicing?

***

What thoughts are you practicing?

The action we do most during the day is to think.  Certain thoughts tend to repeat in our heads. Again, whatever we do a lot of, we tend to get good at it:  We can be thinking healthy, helpful thoughts over and over…or we can be practicing unhelpful or unhealthy thoughts repeatedly.

***

Question:  What thoughts are you practicing these days?  What do you think over and over?  Make a list

Of these, circle those which are unhelpful or unhealthy or are otherwise thoughts you’d prefer to think less often.

How much are you practicing thoughts that give you joy?  To what extent are you practicing thoughts that give you pain?

Make a second list:  What would you rather be thinking? What helpful or healthy thoughts would you like to be practicing? How could you re-frame a negative or painful thought in a way that is healthier or more helpful?

***

What words are you practicing?

Let’s take a closer look at the thoughts you are practicing.  What words do you use over and over in your internal dialogue? How do they affect you? Are they positive, encouraging, or inspiring — or are they negative, hurtful, or otherwise unpleasant?

To what extent are you practicing words that soothe you or give you hope? To what extent are you berating yourself or expecting the worse?

What is your general tone?

Odds are high you may not realize what you’re doing until you stop and examine the actual words you use.  This is pretty common among my coaching clients. For example, Cherie came to me as a fairly tense person who was quite demanding of herself.  She couldn’t see it.  She believed she was being unconditionally positive and supportive of herself and the personal changes she wanted to make.  When I asked her what she wanted as a priority this week, she furrowed her brow and said, “I don’t want to get distracted. I don’t want to backslide. I don’t want to make more stupid mistakes.”

“Okay, you’re telling me what you don’t want. What do you want?”

I watched the insight dawn as her whole face brightened and relaxed.  “Ah,” she laughed.  “I want to be focused.  I want to be ‘in the moment’.”  She paused and shook her head. “Wow, that feels a whole lot better!”

Part of the shift she felt was from re-framing things from negative terms into positive words.  Most of it came from releasing that tense, school-marm tone (as if she was saying, “I better not make any more stupid mistakes or else!”) and being kinder with herself.

How do you speak to yourself?  To what extent are you your own best friend — or your own worst enemy?

Bottom line:  you have an opportunity, right now, to examine what you’re practicing — in thought, word and deed — and to make adjustments as needed.

***

Activity:  This week, pause at least once a day to monitor what you’re doing.  If you’re doing something unhelpful or unhealthy, stop.  Choose something from your ‘helpful & healthy’ list to do instead.

By Chris Potter (Flickr: 3D Judges Gavel) [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

In this age of social media, there has been a flaring up of vociferous online opinion-sharing. Have so-so service from a contractor? Chronicle your experience on Yelp and Angie’s List. Purchase a sub-par product? Warn others via Twitter, Facebook, and Amazon.

This is a particular danger for those of us inclined to be hard on ourselves (and/or others) — i.e. the perfectionists among us.  From my work with perfectionists over the past twenty years, I’ve found that judgment anchors and propels every aspect of perfectionism. Perfectionists are constantly evaluating everyone and everything. We judge every person, place or thing we encounter. . . everything about your past, present or future . . . everything we imagine.

Now judgment has its place. Our ancestors developed judgment as a way of protecting their bodies from physical danger. As humans evolved, we developed judgment to protect and guide ourselves in social circumstances as well as to make decisions effectively. “Good judgment” is very useful indeed.

But perfectionists take judgment to extremes. Perfectionists compare everyone and everything to a perceived ideal — a ‘perfect’ version. For example, we believe there is a ‘correct’ way to do things or a single ‘right’ way for things to turn out.

Often, we make snap decisions based on our ideal and the expectations they imply, rather than being open to surprises. For example, we might be instantly dismissive of someone with little schooling when in fact they may have innovative ideas unfettered by formal education. We may pooh-pooh a helpful approach because it came from a source we don’t respect — a source that fails to rise to our ideal standard.

Worse, our hyper-judgment establishes an unavoidable gap between our expectations and reality. Any gap between our perceived ideal and what we experience is annoying, frustrating, disappointing and/or stressful. And the sad thing is: by definition our perceived ideal is unattainable so there is always a gap between our reality and what we wish to experience. We are sentencing ourselves to a self-made purgatory.

Consider the toll on yourself and others to be under constant assessment. Consider the enormous energy required and the tremendous strain and pressure that are generated by such steady scrutiny.

To disrupt your perfectionism, it is absolutely essential that you find ways to short-circuit your natural tendency to make frequent, involuntary judgments.

Recognize Judgment

This is probably the single most effective thing you can do to change the way you’ve been operating: To the extent you can train yourself to suspend judgment, to shift from automatically judging everyone and everything to merely observing them, you are well on your way to overcoming your perfectionism.

Step one in this process is to begin to notice when you are judging.

***

Helpful Daily Practice: Notice Your Own Judgments

 The idea here is to train yourself to recognize when you are judging someone or something. Once you can recognize your judgment in the moment, you can take steps to address it.

***

Activity: Going forward, pay attention to the judgments you make in your daily life — especially snap judgments about people, places, things and activities. Some will be big and important — how you feel about your co-workers or yourself, for example. Many judgments will be more innocuous: Maybe grammatical errors on public signs irritate you. Perhaps you’re adept at finding flaws with restaurant meals.

Pretend it’s like a game and you get points every time you notice you’re making a judgmental thought. You earn bonus points when you notice in the moment. (It may sound hokey but — if you will suspend judgment and try it — rewarding yourself with points can be highly effective in facilitating personal changes).

Warning: this may be exhausting at first. Most perfectionists are staggered by the scope and frequency of their own judgments, once they start to pay attention to them. “I didn’t realize I was always, always judging every little thing I experience,” exclaimed Martine when she began the process. “I’m racking up lots and lots of points!”

***

Generate Alternative Interpretations

Consider that there are many other ways of viewing any situation. For example, if your knee-jerk thought is something like, “Wow, what an awful outfit Taylor is wearing” consider (a) Taylor is dressing the best she can, given her pocketbook and taste, (b) Taylor may be a fashion maven who is expressing herself in ways you’re not appreciating, (c) Taylor is so frazzled at work and home that she threw on whatever she had at hand and you’re lucky she remembered to don her pants at all, and/or (d) Taylor doesn’t care a hoot about how her outfit looks so why should you?

This is especially helpful when you are judging yourself. When my client Simone tried this technique, she found “Ugh! I messed up that presentation” quickly became (a) Well, that wasn’t the best I could do but it still was better than many people could do. (b) Maybe I can’t accurately assess the presentation’s true value because I can’t be objective. (c) Maybe the clients liked the presentation and were oblivious to the flaws I detected. (d) Maybe someone in the audience got something really important out of the talk so who am I to diss it? (e) This was a great opportunity for me to learn how to do a better presentation next time.

***

Key Tool: Generate (at least three) Alternative Interpretations

Going forward, whenever you notice yourself making a judgment, brainstorm a minimum of three other possible ways of re-framing your original assessment. Bonus points if you can make yourself laugh.

Again, this may be overwhelming at first as you grapple with all the judgment streaming in your head. However, once you begin the practice of generating alternative explanations, you will be able to train yourself to do so automatically. Then, when you catch yourself making a judgment, you will just as quickly counter with other options.

When practiced over time, this tool basically trains you to engage in fewer judgments. You’ll view yourself and others more charitably, which will feel so much better.

***

Activity: Practice generating alternative interpretations.

Go to a public area such as a coffee shop or shopping mall. Sit and watch people. As judgments pop into your head, generate at least three alternatives interpretations.

***

Suspend Judgment

The next level in addressing your judgment is to curtail it. You’ve done enough judging for one lifetime.  Judging hurts you…and it’s no picnic for people around you. The less you judge, the better for you and the people around you.

Here’s the truth: This situation just ‘is’.

From your limited point of view, you have no accurate way of assessing if this situation is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘scary’ or anything else. What seems like a terrific opportunity at first blush might end up, in the long term, being the worst experience in your life. Something that appears to be a massive setback might in fact be a way for you to deepen relationships and devise a better solution that ends up yielding a far more successful project.

For example, let’s say a gallery says ‘yes’ to exhibiting your work. That seems ‘good’, right? Now imagine that there’s a fire in the gallery and a lot of work your work is lost. Now your exhibition seems ‘bad’, right? But wait — because of the fire, let’s say that you now get inspired to do the best series of your life, earning you a lot of press and new commissions…well then the original ill-fated exhibition seems ‘good’. But what if you can’t handle your new-found fame, or you get swindled by unscrupulous financial managers or…you get the idea.

Sometimes ‘dreams coming true’ are really nightmares. Sometimes ‘disappointments’ are really ‘blessings in disguise’.

All you know for sure is that this situation just ‘is’. To the extent you can suspend judgment, you can allow things to unfold without the added, unnecessary energy of whatever label you’ve applied.

***

Key Tool: Suspend Judgment

 When you do notice yourself making a judgment, stop.

Avoid labeling what you are experiencing.

It’s not complicated. Simply cease judging everyone and everything. Rather than assessing, evaluating, and/or labeling, simply observe.

If you can’t suspend judgment, delay it. (“Well it seems ugly to me but let’s see what I think next month.”)

***

 Activity: Practice suspending judgment.

Go to a public area such as a coffee shop or shopping mall. Sit and watch people. Simply observe. When judgments pop into your head, push them gently but firmly aside.

***

Activity: Practice withholding your opinion.

Going forward, whenever you feel compelled to give an opinion, pause. Is this really necessary? Is it a matter of life and death for me to utter my opinion at this moment in time? If not, don’t. Give yourself points every time you avoid giving your opinion.

***

Activity: Social media challenge.

Challenge yourself: How long can you go without posting a comment online that denotes any judgment or opinion?

***

Benefits of Suspending  Judgment

Once you can suspend judgment — and once you can release your iron grip on your own opinion — you foster openness. This creates a space — a window — through which new ideas, people and possibilities can enter your life.

Going forward, pay attention to what happens as you suspend judgment. See what new opportunities arise, the more open you are. Keep notes on the new information and prospects you receive from unexpected places. See what you learn. Watch what happens with your personal and professional relationships. Chronicle the benefits as a way of reinforcing your shift away from judgment.

***

For more, check out my book Overcoming Perfectionism:  Solutions for Perfectionists available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats:  http://bit.ly/PerfectionismSolutions

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By JorgenCarlberg [CC BY 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

Once upon a time, the traditional career path was to specialize in a single arena, join a company and stay there until retirement. Now, thanks to seismic shifts in technology, communications and economics, this path is becoming increasingly rare, replaced by portfolios.

As a DaVinci — a multi-talented person juggling many activities — portfolio careers make an awful lot of sense.

Some of us have never liked being pigeon-holed as being ‘only one thing’.  We are interested in many things and have always participated in diverse activities as kids or students . . . so it’s natural to diversify our professional activities, too.

Others may take a while to figure it out.  They may begin in a traditional ‘one-job’ career only to become dissatisfied with the limited scope of their activities.  There’s a gnawing sense of ‘is this all there is?’ Maybe they yearn to try something new or pursue a secret dream. Perhaps they develop other skills, hobbies or interests outside of work, then discover they want to do one or more of these things, professionally. For this group, portfolio careers provide a way to boost their career satisfaction by diversifying their vocational activities.

A third group become DaVincis by necessity. When the economy tightens, people may lose their traditional jobs — and discover how difficult it is to be re-hired in today’s marketplace.  This is especially problematic for mid-aged or older people because more companies are seeking to fill whatever slots they’ve got — be they part-time jobs, full-time jobs or contracts — with younger, cheaper workers.

For anyone pursuing a portfolio career, the primary challenge to overcome is fear (specifically fear of failure, fear of the unknown, and fear of poverty).  Once they actually take the plunge as a multi-hyphenate, they face challenges in time management, organization, staying on task and getting things done.  It’s tough to make progress in more than one arena at the same time without becoming overwhelmed or demotivated or frustrated or stressed out. Yes, the internet offers limitless business opportunities — but it also provides infinite distractions and constant interruptions.  It’s a particular challenge to maintain life/work balance, given the inevitable complications of a portfolio career.  Procrastination and perfectionism are issues that arise for many, many people pursuing a portfolio career.

The main challenge for someone pursing a portfolio career is to find the approach and techniques that work for them in their unique circumstances.  Here on our website, Lisa Rothstein and I invite you to browse our books and articles to see what works for you.

***

Want more tips and techniques for getting things done? Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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© Nevit Dilmen [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], from Wikimedia Commons

The little voice can be annoying or anxiety-provoking.  It can be nervous or nasty or paralyzing. It seems to be most vocal when we are embarking on something new. When we commence a fresh project, or strive to hone a new talent or dabble with a novel approach, the uncharted territory seems to beg questions like “What the heck have I gotten myself into?”, “How will this turn out?” and “Is this any good?”

Creative doubts can be especially destructive for DaVincis — people juggling too many ideas, projects and talents.  First, because we’ve got a lot going on so there’s ample opportunities for inner doubts to foment.  Second, concerns about one creative activity can quash or dissipate our efforts in several other areas, simply by comparison.

So what’s a DaVinci to do?

First, remind yourself that doubts are a natural part of the creative process.  Every creative person experiences them from time to time.

Second, think of that little voice as a symptom, rather than a disease.  Any doubts that cross your mind are simply signalling that you are doing something creative and new.  It’s part of the excitement and risk of creativity.

When you hear that little voice, acknowledge it and then push it aside.  Delay it.  Defer it.  Remind yourself that you cannot give a valid, true assessment of the quality of something while you are in the process of creating it. “Okay, I don’t know how good this thing is . . . and really I don’t need to know right now.  Right now I just need to keep going.”

Third, counter Fear with Love.  Whenever you notice creative doubts, ask yourself:  what do I love about what I’m doing?  What is it about this that’s fun or joyful or energizing or gratifying?  To the extent you can focus your attention on the upsides of the creative process, the easier it is to bat aside whatever doubts may flutter across your mind from time to time.

Here’s a brief video that makes the point that (a) doubts are a natural part of the creative process and (b) the only way out is through.  Just keep practicing, keep doing, keep going.  The more you do, the more you create, the less you will doubt.

http://vimeo.com/85040589  http://vimeo.com/85040589

***

For more tips and techniques, check out my workbook  BE MORE CREATIVE:  101 Activities to Unleash and Grow Your Creativity

***

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By Andre666 at English Wikipedia [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

One approach that many of my coaching clients find helpful is this:  First things first.

This deceptively simple concept works because:

1. It focuses your priorities on what’s important.

When you have a clear understanding of what means the most to you, you can better direct your talents, time and energy.  The idea here is to ask yourself, “What’s most important?”  What would be the most fulfilling or meaningful?  Growing your business? Improving your health?  Deepening your relationships? Making money? Establishing yourself? Self-expression? Your legacy?

It’s very easy to get caught up in what’s urgent.  Or to choose less important tasks because they are less intimidating or because they’ll fit into shorter time periods. It’s much easier to reply to an email than to sit down and actually flesh out ideas for a new product . . . but to the extent you can remind yourself of your true priorities, you can make better use of your time and efforts.

2.  It focuses your actions on what you can do next.

Yes you have four dozen items on your ‘To Do lists’.  Now, of those, which makes sense to do at this point in time? Among the available options, what would have the biggest impact, were you to do it next?

Right now, is it more important for you check social media for the third time today . . . or would it make more sense to use this five minutes to call that prospective client?

3.  It encourages you to take advantage of how your brain works.

Research has shown that our brains work best right after we awaken.  Our minds are refreshed, replenished and rebooted.  The assaults of the day’s demands and interruptions have not yet commenced.  As a special bonus:  there’s a carryover from our dream-state that makes us more innovative and more creative in whatever we do first thing in the morning.

To the extent you can devote your very first activity of the day to whatever is most important to you, you can make significant strides more easily.  (This is another reason to postpone checking your email, phone messages, social media or news feeds until later in the day:  avoid those sorts of distractions until AFTER you’ve spent time doing something important to you).

As an added bonus, whatever time you can devote to your initial activity of the day — be it twenty minutes, an hour, or more — you’ve already accomplished something.  For example, if you, say, write five pages first thing, then no matter what happens for the rest of the day, you’ve written five pages!  Five pages a day adds up fast.  Five pages a day, five days a week means a script in a month or a novel in two.

If you “don’t have time” given the practical constraints of your living situation, ask yourself:  what would it mean if you could make efficient, regular progress on your top priority.  Would that be worth doing some creative problem solving to figure out how to get yourself twenty minutes first thing in the morning?

If you believe you’re not a “morning person” so there’s no point trying — consider that you may missing out on the most productive time of your day.  Your biology is such that your brain works best after its had some rejuvenating shuteye.

Merrill Markoe is an accomplished writer of television and nine books.  Recently, when she was recovering from surgery, she was pretty much forced to write first thing in the morning — a practice she’d avoided throughout her professional life.  She was astonished at the difference it made.  Gone was the stress, self-loathing angsty procrastination that had plagued her days.  It was replaced by stress-free productivity and fostered a joy through writing she hadn’t experienced before. She chronicled her discovery in this excellent, entertaining New York Times article.

4.   It requires that you focus on one thing at a time.

The other implicit element of “first things first” is that you give attention to only your top priority at a given time. As research as proven, focus is your friend.  To the extent you can channel your time, energy and attention on only one thing at a given moment, the more you will get done, faster, with higher quality and less stress.

So the next time you find yourself overwhelmed with “To Do’s” or uncertain about your priorities, remind yourself:  First things first.  Do whatever is most important.  Do it first thing every morning.  Do one thing at a time.

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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By User:Vassil (File:Sépulcre_Arc-en-Barrois_111008_12.jpg) [CC BY 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

There is nothing wrong with making mistakes . . . unless others are adversely affected.  As DaVincis juggling many projects, we are that much more likely to let people down along the way — personally and/or professionally. Maybe we forget to do something we said we would. Perhaps we do or say something that causes someone strife. Maybe our attitude or reactions are disappointing to someone expecting something else from us.

Stop for a moment and think about a time when you let someone down.  Review your memory of what happened. What did you do — or not do — that disappointed someone?  How did this come to occur?  Why did you do what you did (or didn’t) do? What were the consequences?  How did it affect the other person?  Did you acknowledge what happened to the other person or did you let it slide?  How did this experience affect your relationship?

Once you have a concrete example in mind, let’s proceed:  In an ideal world, what do you do when you let someone down?

1. Recognize that it’s happened.

This sounds trite but this is where a lot of us mess up.  We first need to realize that we have let someone down.  That our actions have affected someone else.  Sometimes this is clear from the way others are responding to us — a change in tone or warmth, for example.  Sometimes the affected others withdraw or distance themselves.  Yet sometimes it’s not so obvious.  Especially when people really care about us — or depend on us. Sometimes people hide the hurt or disappointment we’ve caused them.

If in doubt, ask.

It’s a horrible thing to let someone down. It’s worse, still, when it takes you a while to realized the impact of your actions (or inaction) on someone else. But never mind.  Better late than not at all.  Once you *do* figure it out, you have an opportunity to make it right.

2. Apologize.

Tell the person you are sorry for disappointing them.  Acknowledge what you did — or didn’t do — and note the impact it had on the other person.

Avoid the temptation to excuse or explain your behavior.  That you were busy/juggling too much/dealing with a personal issue/naive is pretty much irrelevant to the point that you let down the other person.

Keep the focus on them, not you.

3.  Make amends.

Make it right.  As a creative person, you can devise clever ways to make amends.  If you’re not sure what to do, ask.

4.  Forgive yourself.

We are all doing the best we can.  Once you’ve apologized and done your best to make amends, it doesn’t help to continue to feel badly about what happened or to beat yourself up. Forgive yourself.  Resolve to learn from the experience. Move on.

What if its not possible to apologize or make amends to the person?  What if they are no longer in contact with you or reachable or if they’ve  passed away?

One option is to write down the story of what happened in as much detail as possible — then re-write it as you wish it would have unfolded.

Another option is to write a letter to the missing person as if you could actually communicate with them.  Be candid and heartfelt. Devise a way to make amends.  Is there a way to pay it forward or benefit others on their behalf? For greater impact, read the letter out loud.

Since my mother died unexpectedly, I have become painfully aware of ways in which I let her down.  I can’t apologize or make it up to her directly.  I can move forward with enhanced sympathy, empathy and insight.  I can commit to being more vigilant about the impact of my actions on others in the future.  By encouraging other people to recognize when they let others down — and by advocating the position that it’s never too late to apologize or to try to make it right — this article is one way in which I hope to make amends.

*****

For more, check out my book “GET OVER It:   Overcome Regret, Disappointment and Past Mistakes”.  Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats:  http://bit.ly/GetOverItNow

*****

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Swaminathan from Gurgaon, India (yellow and red) [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Once upon a time, performers were required to actually reveal their talents when they performed.  There was no lip synching or Autotune or multi-media enhancements to enhance or obscure their own efforts. Back in days of yore, if someone faked it — be it the National Anthem or a Milli Vanilli pop tune — it was a scandal. Not so much any more.

Nowadays the world seems split between wanting things to be perfect — and wanting them to be real.  Some folks prefer electronically enhanced products.  Others prefer to hear their performers actually perform — warts and all. It can be thrilling to see someone with real musicianship flex their talents. Yet any real live performance involves risks or possible mistakes — a missed cue, a wayward note, a forgotten lyric.

It’s up to the artist — and the audience — to decide what’s most important to them.  Do you want to experience a ‘perfect’ packaged product — or do you want to witness what a performer can really do?

Beyonce is a well documented perfectionist.  She has a climate-controlled personal archive documenting every moment of her life and every media mention of her.  Should an unflattering photo materialize, her publicist has it yanked. She lip synched the National Anthem at President Obama’s 2012 inauguration lest any note go amiss.  Now this is someone who can actually sing…but chose to fake it to avoid the risk of imperfections.

Fellow perfectionist Barbra Streisand stopped giving concerts for YEARS for fear of flubbing the lyrics.

If you are someone with perfectionistic tendencies — if you are hard of yourself, picky, have sky-high standards — one question to ask yourself:  would you rather be ‘perfect’…or real?

What does it cost you to strive for perfection? What does it cost the people around you?  How does it affect your personal and professional relationships?

Does your audience even *want* perfection?  Would your customers be happier with something a little rougher around the edges, if they could have it more quickly or with less drama?

As DaVincis,  we’ve got a lot of projects, ideas and talents on the go.  It’s impossible to be perfect in everything we do.  Striving for perfection in multiple domains is stressful if not crazy-making.

One solution is to aim for ‘real’, rather than ‘perfect’.  To survey your talents and present them authentically.  To focus on creating something that truly reflects you — rather than a glossy product that obscures your true voice.

Perfection isn’t possible.  Instead, why not aim to communicate what’s unique about you?  Whatever you’re doing — be it a designing a book jacket or devising a business plan — you have a capacity to imbue your own perspective, experience and talents.

That’s the key:  rather than focusing on unattainable perfection, aim to reveal your real essence.

Whatever you’re working on, ask:  Am I representing or communicating what’s unique about me?  Focus on what’s real, rather than perfection.

*****

For more, check out my book Overcoming Perfectionism:  Solutions for Perfectionists.  Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/PerfectionismSolutions

*****

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By UnknownUnknown author [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Let’s say you’re starting a desirable new job — or  commencing a great relationship —  or expanding or family — or moving into a better location.  You “should” be happy, right?  Yes — and yet it’s perfectly natural to also experience a mix of random other emotions — both positive and negative.  We can find ourselves being afraid.  Or angry.  Or sad.  Or stressed beyond belief. Our inner selves can respond to change as if it’s ‘loss’ — because it often is.  A new job may mean leaving people and tasks you care about.  A new relationship can seem like a loss of your previous identity. Moving to a new location can be irksome as you navigate unfamiliar surroundings to sort out where everything is.

Whenever people experience a major transition — be it a job change, a relationship change, a change in homes or something else — it can be challenging.  For DaVincis, it can be doubly so because the more we going on, the more talents or projects will be affected by any given change.

And resistance is a tricky thing. It can be disguised as any or all of the following:

– laziness (I just don’t feel like doing this right now)

– confusion (I just don’t get this; This is too complicated)

– excessive thirst for information (I can’t start this until I do another few months of research)

– fatigue (I don’t have the energy to tackle this; I need a nap)

– deferral (I’ll get around to this later/ tomorrow/ after I do my REAL work/ someday)

– excessive busy-ness (I don’t have time to do this; I’ve got too much going on)

– self-deprecation (I’m not good enough; I don’t deserve to succeed in this; I’m too young/old/stupid/serious/goofy to do this)

– avoidance (What’s on TV? ; Hey look at this cat on YouTube)

– despair (What’s the point? I’ll never make it; I’ve missed my chance)

– perfectionism (It’s not good enough; Mine is not as good as so-and-so’s)

– self-medication (Pass the tequila; Mmm chocolate).

So what’s a DaVinci to do when embarking on a major transition?

1. Recognize that you are embarking on a major transition. 

Remind yourself of the obvious and cut yourself some slack.

2.  Use the change as an opportunity to aim for more things you love and less of what you don’t

Clear some uninterrupted time to sit down and think about what you really want — and really don’t want — in this next chapter.  A divorce can be stressful and gut-wrenching . . . and also a trigger to launch as-of-yet unlaunched dreams.  A promotion can be thrilling . . . and consuming.  Some conscious forethought can ensure some balance between your new work role and your health, your relationships and your extracurricular interests.

3. Expect random emotions to occur at random times. 

Avoid judging yourself.  Accept and understand that whatever feelings emerge — positive and negative — they are a natural reaction to change.  Notice them and move on.

4.  Be on the lookout for your favorite forms of resistance.

Review the list above.  How do you tend to resist? As you go through this transition, recognize these behaviors for what they are:  a signal that you are going through a big change.

5. Allow yourself more time than you think you need.

Getting comfortable in a new situation takes a while. Err on the side of expecting it to take longer.

6.  Above all else, be very kind to yourself.

Be your own best friend.  Anytime you’re going through a major change is a wonderful reason to treat yourself to your favorite simple pleasures.

*****

Activity:  List a few of the major transitions you’ve experienced. For each, jot down things that worked well — things that helped you get through the change smoothly.  Also write down some thing that didn’t work well.

*****

*****

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By photo taken by flickr user *Micky* (flickr) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

It doesn’t have to be like that.

Downtime can be expected or unexpected.  It can occur for brief or prolonged periods of time.  It might be self-imposed or caused by things out of our control.  Whatever the kind of downtime, let’s consider how better to use it.

Expected vs Unexpected Downtime

If you know you’re going to encounter some downtime, it’s easy enough to make the most of it.  Let’s say you have to go to the D.M.V. or the doctor’s office or somewhere else where you *know* you’re going to have to wait.  You have a choice about how to spend that time.  You can do “‘Something Productive” — make some phone calls or read or catch up on your email or attend to small, portable tasks on your “To Do” list.  You can do “Something Fun” — like people watching or doodling or playing games on your iThingy. You can do “Something Relaxing” — you can sit there, doing absolutely nothing.  Or daydreaming.  Or meditating. Or jotting down things for which you’re grateful.

How to choose what to do?  Do what makes sense for you at that moment. Do whatever you’d really love to do. If you’re tired, relax.  If you’re bored or stressed, play.  If you’re feeling a hankering to get something done, do so.

The trick is to be proactive about your choice.  It’s fine to do ‘nothing’ — as long as that is your intention.  Otherwise it won’t feel good.

The other trick is to make your decision as quickly as possible.  It’s not helpful to spend those five or ten minutes in the waiting room agonizing about what you should be doing.  Choose something — anything — and do it.

If you don’t already, make a new practice of preparing for possible down time.  When you think you might have a lull, give some thought to the best use of that time.  (Oh, I have to drop by the bank — let me grab a book to read in case there’s a queue.)

What if you find yourself with time to kill when you don’t expect it?  Prepare for it now.

Activity:  Right now, answer the following:

If I have ten or so spare minutes, what would be productive?  (List at least five things).

If I have ten or so spare minutes, what would be fun?  (List at least five things).

If I have ten or so spare minutes, what would be relaxing?  (List at least five things).

Now capture your answers on an index card or an iThingy file so you always have it handy.  The next time you find yourself with unexpected downtime, refer to your lists, take no more than five seconds to select an activity and do it.

Self-Imposed or Out of Your Control

It’s up to you to manage your downtime, however it arises.  If you are planning to take off a few minutes or an evening or a month, you can give thought to how best to use it, based on what’s going on with you. It’s helpful to consider not only what you’d like to do, but why.

Be strategic about the downtime you choose to take.  Reward yourself for good work with guilt-free play.  Use down time to get more balance in your life — to take care of your health or your family.

If you’re burned out, use down time to refresh and recharge.

If you’re stressed, use down time to relax.  To soothe yourself.

When you think about the purpose of this particular down time, it’ll narrow down which activities are most helpful at this time.  It’s just as important to consider how you don’t want to spend this time. If you’re fatigued, it’ s better to choose to nap for an hour than to spend the time frantically internet surfing or cleaning the kitchen or downing a pint of ice cream.

Of course, some down time is imposed by things out of your control. How to make better use of it depends, in part on the amount of downtime.

Brief vs Prolonged Downtime

The techniques above work particularly well with brief downtime.  Similarly, if you foresee a prolonged period of downtime, you can brainstorm your options proactively and act accordingly. Let’s say you’re planning a holiday. Why not embrace it as a chunk of  welcome, expected downtime?  Make of it whatever you wish.

Ask yourself:  How would I like this period of time to be?  What would I like to do?  (Relax.  Eat tasty treats.  Explore somewhere new, etc.) What can I learn?  What new things can I try? Equally importantly, what would I like to avoid doing?  (I choose not to fret, stress, worry.  I don’t want to think about work or situation X or person Y.  I’m putting all that on pause for the duration).

When you are deliberately taking time off, be sure to park any guilt, misgivings or other unhelpful thoughts that will disrupt your downtime.  What good is a day off if your mind is in the office?  What good is a week away when you spend it dreading whatever it is that’ll be awaiting you when you return?

It’s a little different when you find yourself in the midst of unexpected, prolonged downtime. Sometimes things happen and find ourselves amid an unproductive period.

The first step is to recognize that that is what’s going on.  Maybe your computer implodes or the power goes out or you break your arm.  (Um, guess I’m done for the next while).  Perhaps you’re affected by some personal situation or professional source or stress that is hampering your productivity. (The Jones account is in peril.  I must pause progress on what I thought was my top priority). It might be that you find yourself in a strange new situation — it may take awhile to get back up to speed.  If you lose your job or a loved one, for example, you need to allow yourself some time to react and recover.

Above all else, when you do recognize that you’re being unproductive, avoid beating yourself up about it.  “Arrgh!  I’ve don’t nothing for two days!  I’m a lazy good-for-nothing” is not helpful.  Instead, pat yourself on the back for noticing.  Better to have lost two days than three or more.  Now that you recognize what’s going on, you can move forward.

The second step is to accept the situation.  (For whatever reason, I’m experiencing prolonged downtime.  Nothing I can do about it so I might as well make the best of it).  For example, last week, I found myself managing two large renovation projects.  I had one crew jackhammering behind my building and another crew wielding nail guns right outside my window.  It was noisy.  It was stressful.  We were running over budget, over time, and in bad weather.  There was nothing I could do to change any of that.  I had to accept the situation — and to accept that these days were destined to be less productive than I’d like.

The third step is to make the best of it.   Right now, having recognized this period of downtime, what makes sense for me?  What can I reasonably accomplish?  What would be better to postpone?  Is this an opportunity to do something else?  (Okay, I’ve broken my arm.  I can’t type.  I’ve been meaning to try dictation software but never had time to get it set up.  Seems like now would be a good opportunity to do so).

Prolonged downtime — expected or not — is a wonderful opportunity to learn something new.  To try new activities ‘just for fun’, without expectation.

It’s also a way to adjust the balance in your life.  If you’ve been working too hard, it’s a chance for R & R — and to reconnect with folks you care about.  If you’ve been neglecting your health, you can give it some attention.

The point is that, once you realize you’re going to have some downtime — or if you find yourself in the middle of it — it’s better to make a choice about how you want to use the time at hand.  Be strategic.  Be kind to yourself.  Use down time as a way of giving yourself what you need at the time.

***

For more ideas on how to be productive, check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in hardcover, paperback, and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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By asenat29 [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

It’s harvest time.  Our apple orchard is overflowing with fruit, so we’ve been giving a lot away.   It’s been fascinating to see how very differently people respond.  Most people say ‘thank you’ (but not everyone, surprisingly).  Some express specific gratitude by saying what they’ll do with the apples.  “Oh, this is great — I’m going to make a pie with my grandma’s recipe!” A few take the fruit like it’s their due.  (“Cool!  See ya later!”) Some  look a gift horse in the proverbial mouth (“Has this fruit been sprayed?” “Oh, it’s got some spots.”) A couple of people have used the opportunity to ask for something else.  (“Thanks for the apples.  Can I take that pile of kindling, too?”)

My neighbor Paul did something impressive:  unsolicited, he offered something in return.  He took a very small amount of fruit and immediately offered to help us prune our dozens of trees.  He was sincere.  Sure, he’s retired and kinda bored and looking for things to do but still — his knee-jerk response to receiving something was to give something back in return.  He did so with grace and kindness and good humor.

“Wow,” I thought.  “That’s the way to do it.”  Not only do I want to give him much more fruit, I want to emulate him, going forward.

Let me be candid — and believe me, I’m cringing as I write this — I haven’t always been a good receiver. As a kid I was often disappointed, rather than elated at what lay under the giftwrap.  As a perfectionistic, driven young adult, I found myself judging and dissatisfied with many presents.  My husband became so frustrated with searching gifts that were ‘good enough’, he stopped trying altogether.  (If this sounds like you, check out my book Overcoming Perfectionism).

Thankfully, I worked through all that.  Now, when someone gives me something, I’m truly pleased.  And fully appreciative of their thoughtfulness and efforts on my behalf.  I’m a big believer in gushing praise and written thank you cards.  Yet I have a ways to go to emulate my gracious neighbor Paul.

The absolute best gift receiver I’ve met was my grad school roommate Sharon.  When you handed her a gift, her eyes literally lit up.  Odds were high she would squeal with joy.  She’d examine the gift wrap and compliment every element of it.  As she undid the wrapping, she gave into the sheer delight of receiving — she savored the moment.  By the time she actually got to the gift, you felt you’d done her an immense favor.  The present itself was always perfect, according to her reaction.  She’d spontaneously extol each of its attributes and virtues.  Sharon would express not only her appreciation and her gratitude but her sincere joy — which would culminate with a hug and, often, another squeal of delight.  Then, she would display or use or otherwise make use of whatever the thing was — and would continue to express her appreciation intermittently going forward.

Needless to say:  her reaction was very gratifying.  How wonderful she made the giver feel!  We were highly motivated to look for the next opportunity to give her something, anything.

How do you react when you receive a present?  What impact does that have on the giver?

Why am I taking about presents and gift wrap?  Because it can give us insight into how we receive other things.

Specifically, how do we receive the metaphorical gifts we are given?  The opportunities and pleasant events that come our way? Do we express true gratitude? Do we take them for granted?  Do we receive with joy or with an air of entitlement?  Do we look gift horses in the mouth? (“Sigh.  Only one of ten cold calls made a sale today.”)  Do we look right past the gift and start fretting about its implications  (“Oh crap, I’m nominated for an Emmy — now I have to hire a publicist, campaign, lose weight, tone up, and find a kickass outfit to wear”).

Beyond expressing gratitude, the actions of my neighbor Paul have reminded me:  when good things happen, there is an opportunity to give back.  When you get that new client, you can write a check to charity.  When you get that book deal, you can volunteer a few hours at the adult literacy program.  When you come home to find the stove was left on but nothing is on fire, you can makes some cookies for your local firefighters.

Responding to good events with good deeds feels great.  I also believe it’s the right thing to do.   Any good deed puts more good in the world and attracts more of the same.  Call it karma.  Or ‘law of attraction’ or ‘the golden rule’ or a ‘mitzvah’.  It all means the same thing:  doing good leads to more good.

So let’s now turn to our personal gifts.  How do we receive our talents and skills? As DaVincis, we have more talents and ideas than we know what to do with.  To what extent do we appreciate them?  Do we take then for granted?  Do we focus on their benefits or their costs? I hear different versions of ‘talent complaints’  from my coaching clients all the time:  “(Well sure, I’m an acclaimed singer and I write beautiful children’s books and am a gifted educator…but how am I supposed to juggle the three.  And damn it’s tiring. And still I”m not famous enough in any of the three areas. Sigh.”)

To the extent we can focus on our personal gifts — to truly appreciate them — the challenges they invoke become manageable details.  That’s the whole point of this website.  Discover your Talents.  Enjoy your Talents.  Having talents doesn’t have to be painful.  There are proven tools and techniques to Direct Your Talents effectively, to Work with your Talents, to get Organized and to manage whatever DaVinci challenges you encounter along the way — fear, procrastination, perfectionism, distraction, motivation issues, regrets, maintaining life balance and handling technology.

The follow-up question, compliments of my neighbor Paul:  Do we use our personal gifts, our talents and our skills to give back — to foster good in the world?

Activity: Clear some uninterrupted time to think about how you receive the gifts you’re given.

When someone hands you a present, what’s you’re typical reaction?  What do you feel inside (really)?

How do you tend to respond when you open the gift?

To what extent to you feel the need to reciprocate?  Why or why not?

What are some metaphorical gifts you’ve been given — opportunities, pleasant turn of events, etc?

How did you react?  To what extent did you express your gratitude?

Now:  think about your talents, skills and other personal gifts.

Think about each one in turn:  To what extent do you express appreciation for this talent/skill/personal gift?

What other actions could you take to honor what you’ve been given?

***

Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish.  Available here: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

Should you find yourself blocked, the first thing to do is to remain calm.  This is a temporary situation, even though it may not seem like it at the time. Next, try any of the following five proven ways to blast creative blocks:

1.  Take a break.

Do something — anything — else. Put your project on your brain’s “back burner” while you carry on with other things. You could take a *real* break to do something pleasant or soothing — have a nap, go for a walk, have a fun night out.  You could toggle to a different productive activity by shifting focus to something else on your ‘to do’ list.  You could give some attention to a new creative project…or to an area of life you’ve been neglecting.

Pick something — anything — else and do it.

What often happens is that right when you least expect it — in the middle of cleaning the kitchen or walking the dogs or driving to a business meeting — poof!  the answer to your creative block materializes.  A solution may appear in your dreams or a friend’s offhand remark or between the lines in an internet article you stumble upon.

This is one beautiful feature of the creative brain…it’s always working for us in the background. Sometimes we just need to get out of its way — to distract ourselves with something else so it can work its magic.

One caveat:  set a time limit for yourself.  Depending on your particular circumstances, it might be find to take off an hour, a day, a week or more. Only you can know how long of a break is ‘too long’.  You’ll know it instinctively.  It won’t feel comfortable.  It will feel more like avoidance or the agony of procrastination than a ‘break’.

2.  Replenish your creative well.

For the most part, DaVincis are challenged by having too many ideas.  Yet sometimes the flow of ideas dwindles.  Occasionally they might stop altogether — which is a particularly painful kind of creative block for someone with a very busy, very productive mind.

If your font of ideas evaporates, you’ll feel unusually fatigued and cranky.  You won’t feel like yourself.

Should this happen, rely on the creativity of others to rekindle your own.

Note that this is both a remedy for a creative block as well as preventative measure.  To the extent possible, it’s very helpful for DaVincis to enjoy a regular stream of creative input.

This includes not only exposure to the arts — music, books, visual media, performing arts, etc — but also to new ideas and perspectives. Watch a TED talk about innovations in a different field — ideally something you know nothing about. Go to the library or a book store and browse random topics.

To this end, creativity guru Julia Cameron recommends that we treat ourselves to weekly ‘Artist’s Dates’.  These might be a trip to a gallery . . . or an hour spent foraging in a hardware store.  It might involve a walk in the woods or a day trip to a nearby town or an hour exploring random subjects on the internet.

It doesn’t really matter what you do –just put yourself in a position to experience fresh ideas, perspectives and creativity.

3.  Be childish.

Consider an eight year old — a naive youth unaware of the vagaries of life. How would they approach the project?

If you don’t have handy access to an eight year old, re-awaken your past:  Think about aspects of your life when you were eight or so.  What were your favorite foods?  Clothes?  Friends?  Activities?  Did you have pets?  What were your favorite games or toys?  What did you like best and least about school?  What were your favorite books, music, films and television programs? What did you wear?

Ideally, jot down everything you can remember about being eight.  What gave you joy at that time?  What issues did you face?  What was your personality like? What was a typical school day like?  What was a typical summer day for you?  What about your birthday? Family gatherings? Special occasions?  Describe your home. Your neighborhood.

To enrich your recollections, ask a friend or family member what kind of kid you were.  Inquire about things they recall from your early childhood.

Bonus points if you take any actions to replicate experiences from your youth.  Prepare a favorite childhood meal (Cheese and pickle sandwich, anyone?) Watch your favorite Disney film or sit-com.  Play a round of your favorite boardgame. Ride your bicycle with no destination.

Once you’ve revived your inner eight-year old, take a fresh look at your project.  How would your eight-year old self proceed?

4.  Try something new.

When was the last time you tried something new, just for fun?

When was the last time you tasted a new food or listened to a new musical artist or went to a new location? When was that last time you learned a new skill or tried a new activity?

Our brains are wired such that any new input is processed in relation to what we already know.  Whenever we experience something new, it’s like a taser-like blast into our brains as new mental links form and spark new ideas and insights.  “New” is a de facto creativity prod.

Thankfully, there is a limitless array of new things to try.  The world is bursting with places, experiences and activities awaiting discovery. 

Activity:  Today, make a point of trying something new.

5. Be selfish.

Forget logic for the moment.  Complete the following prompts as quickly as you can, as many times as the answers keep flowing:

If there was nothing riding on this, I’d ______________

If it was only up to me, I’d _______________

If nobody cared, I’d just  ______________

If I was only thinking of myself, I’d _____________

If I was being true to myself, I’d ___________

***

Creative blocks can be annoying, frustrating and concerning — but they are also temporary and solvable.  Try any of the preceding five techniques to see what works for you.

***

For more tips and techniques, check out my workbook  BE MORE CREATIVE:  101 Activities to Unleash and Grow Your Creativity

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Mapto [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

Perhaps you have a vague, intuitive sense of your creative activities — of where you are at in a given project and what needs to happen going forward.  It might be a gut feeling of being ‘behind’ or a indistinct intention to finish ‘sometime’.  And this can be such a tenuous sort of monitoring that things fall through the cracks or are done inefficiently.

Sometimes we waste resources or time — and probably other people’s time — because of missed deadlines  or miscalculations or errors in sequencing which activities need to happen in which order.

Sometimes we can’t find work we’ve already done…so we are forced to do it again, costing us more time and effort.

Sometimes our communications are weak or ineffective because we don’t have an adequate grasp on our project.

Sometimes our progress is derailed because our understanding of our project is too vague to solve challenges or obstacles that arise.

Without adequate monitoring, our activities on a given creative project can wane or cease.

Sometimes it’s been so long since we worked on something, it takes a great deal of momentum to bring ourselves back up to speed, let alone proceed.

Sometimes entire projects become forgotten. Have you ever discovered a partially completed project…and you can’t recall starting it, nor can you fathom why or when you stopped working on it?

To the extent that you can keep good track of your major creative projects, you can avoid all these costs.  You can get more done, more efficiently with less stress and less waste.  You can put your time, efforts and creativity to good use, rather than squander it.  You can identify challenges and solve problems you encounter . You can assess and manage risks as they arise.

Effective project management involves keeping track of the Holy Trinity — the time frame, scope and resources — of our creative activities.  Time frame is straightforward: what needs to be done by when.  Scope includes the size and nature of the project — as well as it’s purpose.  Resources include not only the financial costs and necessary materials but also the people involved — the customers, colleagues, service providers and stakeholders.

If we are launching a major new creative project with foresight and purpose, it’s easy enough to give some thought to how it makes sense to monitor our progress.  Maybe there are particular milestones or deadlines or audiences to target.

But sometimes creative endeavors begin with less foresight or fanfare. We start off writing a blog post and before we know it we realize we’re four chapters and four months into drafting a new novel. Or a brainstorming session leads to some general inquiries and random conversations and poof! two years later we’re somehow filing a patent for a new product.

It doesn’t matter how or when you realize you’re working on a major new creative project, the point is that once you recognize it, you have an opportunity to manage the project more effectively.  With just a few minutes of attention, you can instigate some project management techniques and reap their benefits.

Let’s start right now.

What major creative projects are you working on these days? Make a list.

Pick your most important project.  Define its scope, including its purpose.  Describe your time line.  What are your major milestones and deadlines?  What resources are being invested in this project — financial, materials, and personnel?  How are you keeping track of your progress — your activities, your costs, your communications? How are you monitoring what you’ve done and what you have to do?

If you detect some gaps in your project management, commit to finding solutions that will work for your unique situation and personal preferences. There are all manner of apps, websites and software available to keep track of projects, if that appeals. Some prefer charts and visual representations to see ‘at a glance’ the status of different aspects of the project. It can be as simple as dedicating a computer file or journal to record of all aspects of a project — your ideas, your plans, your activities, costs and goals.  Ideally, you’re seeking a handy, easy way to capture all thoughts and ideas about the project; to make notes about what you need to ask or discuss with whom; to keep track of what you’ve pitched to whom, when.

If you are working on more than one major creative project, set up relevant systems to manage each of them. In each case, strive for something simple and easy.  The goal here is to keep yourself aware, informed and on track.  It’s not helpful if your project management is unduly taxing or stressful.

Personally, I like using hard cover journals for each project.  It may seem old school but its served me well for decades.  I can write, sketch, color code; glue in clippings and pictures, draw graphs and timelines,  log communications and meetings — all without relying on electricity or risking electronic failures.  (Having lost electronic files, have hard drives crashed and even lost all the data in an electronic organizer, I’m comfortable using Luddite methods to keep tabs on my most important projects). These journals are easy to carry around, easy to shelve and always at the ready. Tucked inside the front of each is a single piece of paper to represent the overview of the entire project — usually festooned with post-its.  “To Do Today”; “To Do This Week”; Questions; and so forth.

The other important piece here is to establish a regular review of the project.  Spend at least a few minutes on a regular basis — daily or weekly or whatever makes sense — to take stock of each of your major creative projects:  where are you at?  What’s completed?  What’s next? What’s working well?  What’s not? What adjustments need to happen going forward?

Activity:  Review the project management of your most important creative project. Commit to finding solutions to keep track of your project’s scope, including its purpose.  Describe your time line.  What are your major milestones and deadlines?  What resources are being invested in this project — financial, materials, and personnel?  How are you keeping track of your progress — your activities, your costs, your communications? How are you monitoring what you’ve done and what you have to do? What will be an easy way for you to monitor these aspects of your project going forward?  What would be an effective interval to have a regular review your your project — daily, weekly or something else?  Schedule it and make it happen.

***

Want more tips and techniques for getting things done? Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in paperback and eBook fomats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Moeez [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

Why bother?

Making a daily practice of expressing gratitude may seem childish or ‘woo-woo’ or self-indulgent . . . but this habit has a ton of practical benefits.  Taking a few moments to appreciate even small things can:

* help you feel better about your circumstances — whatever is going on

* combat frustration or a sense of being overwhelmed

* shift your focus to the here and now (rather than fretting about the future or regretting the past)

* elevate your mood

* improve your relationships,

* balance your life, and more.

This is especially true for DaVincis i.e. smart, creative people juggling many ideas, projects and talents. With so much going on, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by all that isn’t done or isn’t going well.  It helps to start each day reminding ourselves of what we *have* accomplished and what *is* working well in our lives.  It gives us firmer footing to tackle the day’s agenda.

I’ve done this for years and advise my friends, colleagues and coaching clients to do the same.

Recently, I discovered I’ve been doing it wrong.  Well, not ‘wrong’ — there’s no wrong way to express appreciation.  But I’ve found an easy, effective way to make my daily gratitude practice far more powerful.

Here’s how to super-charge your gratitude practice: 

Step 1:  Clear a few private, uninterrupted minutes for private reflection.

Step 2: Write down (at least) seven things for which you are grateful.  As you list each item you appreciate, state why.

“I’m grateful for X because…”

“I’m so thankful for Y because…”

This small alteration — the additional explanation of why we’re grateful — elevates and deepens each item exponentially.  Rather than jotting down “my home office” on a laundry list of bullet points, it’s much more powerful to specify the reasons. (“I’m grateful for my home office because it’s comfortable and well organized and pleasingly decorated and is full of books I adore plus it provides a pleasant, quiet space to accomplish my work efficiently and effectively.”)

Step 3:  Read your list out loud.

As you do so, pay attention to how you’re feeling.  (Hint:  you’re apt to feel great!)

Be sincere. To the extent that you can suspend any judgement or pride to utter your thanks aloud, the more powerful the practice and the deeper the sense of gratitude.

Step 4:  Do the preceding steps each and every day, choosing (at least) seven NEW things to appreciate.

That’s it.  Easy, efficient steps to establish a powerful, rewarding practice of daily gratitude.

Do yourself a favor.  Try it right now.  Jot down seven things for which you’re grateful — and why. Re-read your lists aloud. Note what happens.

Beyond the initial mood lift, you are apt to find gratitude seeping into more of your day. Even a mundane observation can trigger a brief burst of gratitude. (“I’m grateful for this alarm clock because I can sleep soundly knowing that I won’t be late in the morning.”

It’s a way to acknowledge and reinforce things that are working well in your life. (“I’m thankful my dogs need to be exercised daily so that I get to go for a walk every day — to move my desk-bound carcass to spend time outside, in nature, enjoying my neighborhood while keeping my dogs healthy and happy.”)

It’s also a way to re-frame things that aren’t going so well into a different, more palatable perspective.  If a day is challenging, it’s helpful to pause and think about what *is* working well before pressing the re-set button. When we go through difficult experiences, it’s helpful to mine the experience for whatever good might have come out of it. (“I’m thankful for that crazy-making client last year because he taught me to write contracts differently so I will never go through that again”).

So whether you’re already committed to a daily gratitude practice…or if the ‘laundry list’ approach doesn’t do much for you, try this new enhanced Gratitude 2.0 technique for a more effective experience and to reap profound benefits.

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish.  Available here for only $3.99: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

Some stress is good — it helps us get things done, make deadlines, be excited about a project, even develop innovative solutions to challenges.  Without a moderate amount of stress, our lives would be boring and unproductive.

However, given all we’ve got going on, DaVincis are likely to dip over the edge into excess stress.  This is a less helpful, less healthy state in which our circumstances seem overwhelming, our brains frazzle and our bodies rebel.

Step One is to recognize how you respond to excess stress.   This varies from person to person, so take a moment to reflect on your own unique responses to excess stress.

Activity: Imagine a time when you were under undue pressure.  Pretend you’re back in this situation.  Answer the following:

1.  How do you feel, physically? What parts of your body bear the burden?  Do you get headaches?  Stomach trouble?  Difficulty catching your breath? Do you experience any ‘fight or flight’ rushes of adrenaline?

2. How does your mind respond? Any repetitive thoughts?  Do you dive into problem solving or scenario building…or does your brain seem to shut down?  Does your thinking become scattered?  What happens to your concentration or focus?

3. How do your behaviors change under stress?  What actions do you take?  Is your sleep disrupted?  Are you prone to stress eating?  Do you self-medicate with booze or something else? Do you avoid what’s going on?  Do you procrastinate? Is it hard to sit still?

4.  What is the first symptom you tend to notice?  One coaching client finds himself napping for no apparent reason.  Another one feels an overwhelming need to clean and organize her workspace.  My own first tell-tale sign is an unhealthy, mindless consumption of popcorn.  Lots and lots of popcorn.

Once you recognize your own unique signs of stress, you can address it.

For most DaVincis, it’s helpful and important to include stress-reduction activities into your regular schedule.  By doing so, you can avoid or minimize the psychological and physiological consequences of excess stress.

Here are some examples that my coaching clients find effective:

* take five minute mini-breaks every 60 or 90 minutes

* get moderate exercise every day.  Make a point of standing up when possible.  Take stretch breaks.  Find ways to walk more — even fifteen minutes a day can make a difference.  A pedometer is a great way to aim for a target distance or number of steps every day.

* take 2 or 3 minute mediation breaks several times a day.

* indulge in regular simple pleasures

* take good care of your health

* spend time in nature

* indulge in good self-care.  For some this might be a weekly massage or other pampering.  For others this might mean allowing yourself to nap when needed.

* do something that makes you laugh — watch a comedy or get together with fun friends or find other things that make you laugh our loud

* socialize.  Connect with people you care about.  Express affection. Cuddle your pets.

By making regular stress-reduction a part of your week, you’ll  feel happier and healthier — and you’ll get more done.

Yet there will be times in your life when stress amps up beyond the norm.  Major changes — both good and bad — can become overwhelming.  Maybe someone close to you become injured or sick or dies.  Perhaps you experience an upheaval at work or a job loss or are thrust into a new, unfamiliar role that’s overwhelming.  It could be a relationship shift — falling in love and getting divorced can be equally disruptive.  Maybe a project implodes — or you move — or a new family member becomes part of your life.

Any of these things can cause a tsunami of stress requiring a different kind of intervention.

Here are some recommended techniques to manage excessive stress when it arises:

* recognize what’s going on — that you are in an excessively stressful situation.  To the extent possible, define the boundaries.  For example, when starting a new job or a new relationship,  allow an appropriate ‘introductory’ period when you know you’ll be in for an onslaught of information and random emotions. When challenges arise, remind yourself of the short-term impact . . . and if possible, the long-term benefits.

* understand that you will be experiencing a random mix of thoughts and emotions.  There’s no logic to it.  It just is.

* be very kind and gentle with yourself.  Be your own best friend. Treat yourself the way you would treat a loved one going through the same circumstances.

* do less . . . ideally as little as possible.  When my mother passed away, I was incapable of handling my normal ‘to do’ list.  Instead, I focused on one essential task a day — and some days it was something like ‘shower’.  If I happened to get something else done, that was a bonus.  Rather than beating yourself up, accept that it’s okay to be off-track for the short-term. As things stabilize, you can take more on.

* do what soothes you.  For some it’s exercise or time in nature.  For others it’s petting their dog or cuddling their child.  Some paint or listen to music.  For me, curling up with a book is calming and also a way to override whatever jumble of thoughts are in my head.

* understand that it’s natural for your sleep to be affected. There’s no need to panic if you experience sleep disruption.  Here’s what to do if you can’t sleep.

* get help. Under no circumstances do you need to go through uber-stressful times solo.  Tell your friends, family and colleagues what you need.  Be open to assistance that comes from unexpected places . . . and be forgiving of those who don’t step up.

* get support.  Find the community, spiritual, personal or professional help you need.  There are support groups and professional services for every conceivable challenge.

Stress is a part of human existence.  When it flares up, take good care of yourself.  When things get back to normal, look for ways to reciprocate to those who got you through.

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The challenge for most of us is that life intervenes.  We tend to get waylaid by our many projects, ideas, talents and responsibilities.  We tend to put everyone else before ourselves.

It’s important, then, to clear some uninterrupted time, every so often, to check in with yourself.  To listen to what’s going on…and to remind yourself of what’s important.

This is not rocket science.  It’s not complicated.  In fact it’s so simple and so easy, few of us do it.  We let random excuses intervene.  (“I can’t possibly sit down for five minutes to think — I’ve got to make this phone call/drive my kid/pay this bill.”) Perhaps it feels selfish or silly to give ourselves a few moments of quiet contemplation.

Just do it.  Give yourself a few uninterrupted minutes to check in with yourself.  And experience the rewards.

Activity:  Remove yourself from distractions or potential interruptions.  Close the door. Turn off your phone and all electronic devices.  The time frame is up to you — five, ten or fifteen minutes works well for most people.  Set a timer if you wish. Now, take out a pen and paper and put it beside you. Close your eyes and just breathe for a minute or two.  Relax and settle yourself.  Now: ask yourself “What’s going on?”  Wait until a thought burbles up.  If it seems valid, write it down.  If it doesn’t, gently push it aside and keep listening.  If no thoughts are forthcoming, you can try prompting yourself further with questions like ‘What’s working well?” and  “What’s not?” .  Or phrases like “I’m concerned that…” or “I’m happy that…”. Write down whatever messages seem meaningful.

When you’re done listening, read what you’ve written.  Ask yourself, “What do I need to do with this information?” Take action, accordingly.

Maybe you need to dispute unhelpful thoughts or beliefs.  Perhaps you need to remind yourself of what’s important.  Possibly there are some actions to take.

The point is that until you stop and listen to yourself, it’s difficult to address whatever’s going on.

Try this activity a few times and see what happens.  My coaching clients have found it so helpful, they’ve made this activity a daily, weekly, or monthly practice.

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CCO creative commons image via pixabay

Fear of success is puzzlingly rampant among DaVincis — i.e. multi-talented people  juggling many projects and ideas.

Occasionally it’s obvious.  But often fear of success is disguised.

Sometimes,  it manifests as a few tingling background thoughts such as “Won’t Mom be embarrassed if this gets published?”

Sometimes, it looks like procrastination.  You’re going along, great guns on a project when suddenly it comes to a screeching halt for no apparent reason.

Sometimes it hurts.  Physically.  The first time I gave a script I’d written to a major producer, I was happy.  For about two minutes.  Then an intense sensation began in my solar plexus, accompanied by a persistent shortness of breath.  This continued for two days before I consulted with a writer friend.

“Oh, that’s just fear of success,” he counseled.  “Perfectly normal.”

“But this makes no sense,” I said.  “It’s a great opportunity.  Why am I so afraid? And why is it this intense?”

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about fear of success in my own life and also from coaching smart, creative people.  If you suspect you’re experiencing fear of success, here’s what you need to know:

First, realize there are legitimate reasons to fear success.

* success may change you

* success may change expectations about you

* success may change how others view you

* success may change your relationships with others

The key word here is ‘change.’  Success may indeed lead to change.  Change is good . . . and change is also terrifying.  Especially to your brain — your mind wants to protect you from harm, so it devises clever ruses to thwart your progress.

So it’s important to recognize fear of success in it’s many disguises.  How does YOUR fear of success manifest?

Read the following list of possible symptoms of fear of success.  Which sound familiar?

– laziness (I just don’t feel like doing this right now)

– confusion (I just don’t get this; This is too complicated)

– excessive thirst for information (I can’t start this until I do another few months of research)

– fatigue (I don’t have the energy to tackle this; I need a nap)

– embarrassment (This is just a cliche/so bad/amateur; What will Grandma say when she sees what I’ve made?)

– deferral (I’ll get around to this later/ tomorrow/ after I do my REAL work/ someday)

– excessive busy-ness (I don’t have time to do this; I’ve got too much going on)

– self-deprecation (I’m not good enough; I don’t deserve to succeed in this; I’m too young/old/stupid/serious/goofy to do this)

– avoidance (What’s on TV? ; Hey look at this cat on YouTube)

– despair (What’s the point? I’ll never make it; I’ve missed my chance)

– perfectionism (It’s not good enough; Mine is not as good as so-and-so’s)

– self-medication (Pass the tequila; Mmm chocolate)

– physical pain, shortness of breath

Once you recognize what’s going on, you can take action. And that’s really what you’ve got to do:  take some action, despite the fear of success.

Approach # 1:  Feel the Fear & Do it Anyway

Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. has made a career out of helping people overcome fears.  In her many, terrific books are numerous, helpful tools to manage and reduce fear.   In a nutshell, she says EVERYONE is afraid, so it’s no biggie that you are.  Your fear will grow until you take action.  So…’feel the fear and do it anyway’.  ANY action will reduce your anxiety.  It’s better to do something/anything than wallow in helplessness.  Her recommended mantra:  “whatever happens, I’ll handle it”.

Say it aloud:  whatever happens, I’ll handle it.

 Approach #2:  Use Logic

Would you rather be unsuccessful?  If so, there’s no reason to be reading this article.

If you do want to be successful, then you need to overcome your fear of success.  Write down the reasons you want to succeed. Be as detailed as possible.

Write down at least ten reasons why you deserve to be successful.

Now:  address your symptom head on. If you’re procrastinating, stop. Take action. If you’re fatigued, get a good night’s rest and start fresh in the morning.

Approach #3:  Trick yourself

Pretend that you have already accomplished what you want.  Practice acting successful.  Act ‘as if’ you were successful.  Fake it ’til you make it.

But what if I become successful and my worse fears come true? 

Let’s say your real fear of  success is that you don’t want to deal with the negative consequences — the haters, the jealousy, people wanting things from you, people wanting to take advantage of you and so forth.

Well maybe it won’t.  The truth is you can’t predict what will happen when you become successful. It does you no good to be sabotaging your own success based on a fear of what *might* happen in the future. All you can do is carry on, best you can.  When challenges arise, deal with them.  Whatever happens, you can handle it.

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By A Química das Coisas (A Química do Amor) [CC BY 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

We can learn a lot from our friends.

Stop for a moment and think about your best friend.  What are they like?   How do they treat you, on a daily basis?  How have they helped you during difficult times?  What things have they done or said that demonstrates their friendship and affection for you?  How have they supported or appreciated your talents?

Now, think about yourself.  How do you tend to talk to yourself?  Are you your own best cheerleader or do you tend to beat yourself up?

Activity:  Take a moment to write down the messages you’d rather have in your head.  If you were your own best friend, what would you tell yourself?  Keep this list somewhere where you will see it regularly.

Activity:  Clear some  uninterrupted time.  Write yourself a letter of encouragement as if you were your best friend.

To what extent do you take good care of yourself? If you were your best friend, what would you encourage yourself to do more of?  Less of?

Activity:  List at least ten things you’ve accomplished.

Do you celebrate your accomplishments or do you gloss over them and run straight to the next thing on your list?

Activity:  Pick something you can aim to celebrate in the near future.  What upcoming project milestone or completion could you acknowledge?  Make a point of doing so.

How do you feel about your talents?  To what extent do you demonstrate your appreciation for them?  What more could you do to honor your talents?

Activity:  In the next month, seek ways to acknowledge your talents.

Activity:  This week, practice being your own best friend.

***

Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish.  Available here: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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What to do about it?  How to salvage an unproductive day — or week — or month?

First, whenever you recognize you’re stalled or spinning your wheels, pat yourself on the back.  You noticed!  Now you can do something about it.

Above all, avoid beating yourself up for the situation.  We ALL have unproductive days sometimes.  It’s human nature.  Especially for DaVincis:  we’ve got so much going on that our minds often need a wee ‘time out’ so they find clever ways of stalling us.  All of a sudden we find ourselves surfing the internet or pacing or baking brownies for no good reason.

Now, once you realize you’re stalled, ask yourself: why?

Is it fear? Are you anxious about how things are unfolding?  Are you concerned about something?

Is it fatigue?  Do you need a mental or physical break?

Are you excessively stressed?

Is it that your project isn’t going well and/or you’ve hit some vexing obstacle?

Is it that you are jumping around randomly between activities or projects without furthering any of them?  Do you need to focus?

Has the well run dry?  Are you lacking in inspiration or motivation?

Is it that you are facing other challenges in life that are affecting your productivity?  Is your life unbalanced?

Perhaps its a combination of factors.  Once you determine what’s going on, you can do what makes sense:  Face your fears, take a break, brainstorm solutions.  Take action to address whatever it is that’s going on.

The next step is to PRESS THE RESET BUTTON.

The thing is, we can’t do anything about  the time we’ve squandered up to now.  It’s gone.  But we CAN decide to change course going forward.

You have the right to a fresh start. Right now.

It doesn’t matter what time of day it is.  It doesn’t matter what day of the week it is.  It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been unproductive.  Right now, in this very moment, you can decide to change course.

Don’t believe me?  Try this.  Set a timer for ten minutes.  Spend these ten minutes doing something — ANYTHING — to address whatever’s been interfering.  Focus on one thing.  Make that scary phone call.  Brainstorms possible solutions for that obstacle.  Meditate.  Consult with a wise colleague. Remind yourself of your original motivation for doing this.  Give yourself a change of scenery.

When the timer goes off, see how you feel.  Odds are high that even just ten minutes doing something will give you relief, motivation and ideas to move forward.

It’s a three part solution that works.

1.  Recognize when you’re stalling — catch yourself when you’re being unproductive.

2. Diagnose what’s going on.

3. Press the reset button. Pivot. Make a conscious decision to change course.  Take action, accordingly.

Guess what?  You can press the re-set button more than once a day.  (Some of us even have ‘those’ days during which we’re pressing the re-set button pretty much on the hour, every hour).

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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“Stewardship” is a stodgy sounding word that can provide a breakthrough to DaVincis — to smart, creative, multi-talented people like you.   Stewardship means taking good and thoughtful care of something.  It’s a warmer, cozier, more competent way of approaching the many responsibilities in your life.  Rather than thinking ‘Oh god, I have to do X, Y and Z!’, it’s a shift to calmly managing whatever comes up for the purpose of taking good care of what’s important in your life.

Here’s how:

Step #1:  Put Yourself First

To take good care of the many projects, people and activities in your life, your top priority is to take good care of yourself. You’re not an effective steward of your career if you’re stressed out and working yourself sick.   If you’re not cultivating your talents, you’re  shortchanging yourself (and the world).

Ask yourself:  how can you take good care of yourself?  What’s working well in your self-care?  What gaps need to be addressed?  How is your health?  Your energy level?  How are you treating your body?  Your mind?  Are you treating yourself to simple pleasures you enjoy?   What can you do to take even better care of yourself?

Step #2:  Identify what’s most important to you.

What — or whom — do you want to be taking good care of?  Your family?  Your relationships — personal and professional?  Your home?  Your career?  Your finances?  Something else?

Answer thoughtfully and candidly.

Step #3:  Reframe “To Do’s” as Stewardship

Take of the important aspect of your life you identified in step #2.  Now ask, for each:  how can you take better care of this?  How can you cultivate an attitude of caring stewardship for each important life domain?

What currently seems like a burden?  How might you translate that into more positive terms?  For example, if your domestic responsibilities seem overwhelming, it might help if you reframe your chores as taking good care of your home. “Ugh. I have to clean the kitchen.  Again.” becomes “I’m making my household cleaner and safer” or “I’m taking good care of my household members.” If financial tasks make you squeamish or avoidant, try approaching them as “Taking good care of my money”.

By thinking in terms of caring stewardship of what’s important, it’s possible to remove a lot of negativity, dread and procrastination about the many things on your plate.

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]]> https://davincidilemma.com/2022/02/stewardship-taking-good-care-of-yourself-your-talents-everything-else/feed/ 0 https://davincidilemma.com/2021/11/what-do-to-when-you-cant-sleep/ https://davincidilemma.com/2021/11/what-do-to-when-you-cant-sleep/#respond Mon, 01 Nov 2021 17:21:54 +0000 http://davincidilemma.com/?p=4250

By Gaevskaya.d [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

The first thing to know is that occasional insomnia is perfectly natural and no cause for alarm.   Especially if you are under stress or grieving or are at a ‘certain time of life’, your sleep is likely to be affected.

The worse thing to do when you have trouble sleeping is to start to fret about the fact that you’re not sleeping. (“Oh no!  I’ve got this big thing tomorrow and I need to be fresh and rested to be my best and now I can’t sleep and the whole thing’s going to be a disaster!”)  If this sounds like you, the best thing you can do is to catch yourself — laugh at yourself if possible — and to remind yourself of a few truths:  First, yes, a good night’s sleep is important and yet you are perfectly able to function on less sleep from time to time.  Sure you’d prefer to be well-rested for your big event — but if you don’t, the impact of your sleep-deprived state is not likely to be detectable to anyone else.  You might be aware you’re not at your best, but others are unlikely to notice anything amiss.

Same thing goes when you wake up in the middle of the night.  Did you know that, until this century, the natural human sleep pattern was to sleep for a few hours, get up in the middle of the night for a few hours, then return to sleep until morning?  Apparently, it used to be common that people would sleep a bit, get up to tend to chores or family matters — or pray — or even socialize — then sleep some more. Here’s an article summarizing the evidence of this natural segmented sleep pattern.

Waking up in the middle of the night is not a big deal.  It’s  actually ‘normal’ for us humans.  There’s no reason to lie in bed, tossing and turning.  It’s better to get up for a while.  Personally, I look forward to middle-of-the-night insomnia . . . as an excuse to get up and curl up with whatever novel I’m reading.  The house is quiet.  The phone is not ringing.  There are no interruptions.  It’s a glorious, peaceful time.

You could do the same. If you wanted, you could use this middle of the night ‘awake’ phase as a way of having more balance in your life.  You could use it to do things you love that you have time fitting into your busy schedule.  You could use it to:

* engage in your favorite hobbies

* nourish your mind (e.g. reading, journaling, listening to music, crossword puzzles, sudoku, jigsaw puzzles)

* indulge in simple pleasures

* attend to your body (e.g. gentle stretching and physical relaxation)

* engage in your spiritual practices

* try some meditation techniques

* do some personal processing (e.g. write in your journal, make gratitude lists)

Here’s one caution, though:  If you do wake up in the middle of the night, avoid the temptation to fire up your computer or television or other bright screen.  The unnatural light source tricks your body into thinking it’s morning already and then (a) you won’t get back to sleep and (b) you’re messing with your circadian rhythms.

As well, you probably don’t want to use this period to work . . . unless you want to stay up until dawn and beyond.  Besides — don’t you spend enough of your week working?   Why not use this ‘middle of the night’ time as a treat for yourself?

One more caution: If you are having difficulty sleeping, do yourself a favor by avoiding chemical aids. It’s such a tempting option: Oh, something’s wrong so I’ll take a pill for it. But sleep medications are fraught with side effects and health risks. They are dangerous when combined with many other substances. Worse, the more you use them, the less effective sleep aids become . . . so you end up taking higher dosages with commensurately higher risks . . . while you experience less and less effective results. (How many celebrities have left us too soon, thanks to these products? Michael Jackson, Prince, Tom Petty, to name a few.) Take better care of your body by avoiding these products.

If you want to learn more about ways to improve your sleep, here are some resources.

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image via commons.wikimedia.org

How much stuff do you have?  If you’re like many DaVincis — creative people juggling many talents, projects and ideas — you are also juggling a lot of stuff pertaining to your many talents, projects and ideas.

You might not be a pack-rat.  Your living and working spaces may be free of clutter.  But look around and see what what excessive objects are occupying your space.  What are you holding onto that you don’t really need?

There is some kind of supernatural process by which stuff accumulates.  Personally, I’d rather collect interesting experiences than be weighed down by my belongings.  I sure don’t need everything I own and I bet the same is true for you.

For example:  are you holding on to supplies you might need ‘someday’ . . . but haven’t touched in years?  Have you been lugging around books that really aren’t that important to you?  Does your closet hold items that don’t fit or don’t flatter or don’t get worn in your present life?  Are you hanging onto items others have given you that you don’t really need or want . . . but you feel guilty about getting rid of them?

My family needed to move our household to a smaller home across the country. I used the opportunity to look at my belongings differently. For example, I’d been lugging thousands of books around with me for decades.  Did I really need to keep all of them? I considered each book on my shelves, one by one. I kept what I needed and what I loved. I gave away books I thought others would enjoy. I donated the rest to the library. 

Similarly, I pruned my closet, downsized my kitchen items, and winnowed my art supplies.

Doing so felt freeing and fabulous.  I was delighted to pass on objects others would use and appreciate.  I was tickled to clear space in my home.

You can too.  If you choose to, you can let go of:

* things you don’t need

* things you don’t like

* things you aren’t using

* things that make you feel guilty or otherwise icky  (such as things that remind you of something unpleasant  — or gifts others have given you that you don’t really want)

* things you’re holding onto because they might be useful ‘someday’

* things that need repair — that you haven’t repaired for the past year or longer

* clothes that don’t fit or aren’t flattering or don’t get worn your current life

* things you want to give to someone ‘someday’.  (Why not give it to them now?)

Give yourself a gift by jettisoning your excess belongings. The less you hang onto, the more space and freedom you’ll have. And the more your space will reflect the current ‘you’.

Only keep:

* things you love

* things that make you feel good

* things you use

* things in good repair (or that you commit to repair within the next month)

* things that fit you well and look good on you

Activity:  Pick the easiest possible space to purge – a desk drawer, a cupboard, the bathroom, wherever.  Remove all the contents.  As you do so, get rid of what you don’t need.  Give it away, throw it away, sell it – do what makes sense to get it out of your space.  If in doubt, you don’t need it.

Activity:  Obtain three cardboard boxes.  Mark one ‘donate’, one ‘give’ and one ‘sell’. Put them beside a large garbage can.  Now:  walk around your space. Find at least ten items that belong in these receptacles.

Activity:  Make a list of the rooms or areas of your working and/or living space that you need to prune.  Repeat the preceding two activities until you’ve worked your way through your list.  Maybe you tackle one room a month or one drawer or cupboard per week — find a schedule that works for you so that you can go through your entire living space this year.  Jettison what you don’t need.

Activity:  Set up an ongoing system by which you will keep clutter at bay.  Some people have a one in – one out rule.  (If they buy something new, they get rid of something old).  Others make a regular practice of pruning their belongings throughout the year.  Another option is to schedule an annual spring cleaning/purge to go through your entire working and living space.

***

Available here in paperback and eBook format: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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By Jared Tarbell (Flickr: sky puzzle) [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

When I plunked down at the table and I saw exactly what she was doing, my heart sank.  The puzzle depicted a baseball game . . . and what remained to be done was the crowd.  On the table were piles of hundreds of puzzle pieces depicting thousands of tiny little figures waving teeny little flags.  Each piece looked pretty much identical.

“Are you insane,” I asked . “This is impossible!”

She laughed and, as if to counter my point, positioned together some matching pieces.

I was impressed.  How was she doing this?  I futzed around with a few pieces, going through the motions of making sense of the cardboard chaos before me.

Then I found a piece that fit.  There was a quiet but satisfying “tshk’ as I pressed it into place.   With this first, small victory, I was hooked.  My friend and I kept going until about midnight, when the last cascade of pieces revealed their correct locations and the cardboard crowd materialized in front of us.  We did it!

When I returned home from my visit, a surprise awaited me. Out of the blue, a different friend had mailed me a gift.  You guessed it — a jigsaw puzzle.  A beautiful Van Gogh pastoral scene, rendered in 1000 puzzle pieces. I couldn’t wait to begin.  At the risk of sounding nerdy, it’s oddly satisfying to spend the evening listening to music and working on a jigsaw puzzle with my guy.

So why am I telling you all this?  Because, to my surprise and delight, my newest hobby has elicited numerous insights to assist creative projects:

1.  It make look daunting, but it’s not impossible.  It can be done.

When you first dump 1000 puzzle pieces out of the box, it’s hard not to despair.  Similarly, when you start a creative project it’s easy enough to get blown away by all there is to do.  First and foremost, you have to believe that the project is do-able.  It’s possible. You can do it.

2. Frame it first.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed — if you don’t know where or how to start with your creative project — begin by establishing some context.  What, exactly, are you trying to accomplish?  What’s the purpose of the project?  What boundaries do you see?  Just like you begin a puzzle by putting together the edge pieces to form the outer frame, you can sketch out the edges of your creative project so you let your imagination run rampant within this frame.

3.  Aim to do the easiest bit first.

In puzzles as in creative projects, it really doesn’t matter where you start, so why not begin with whatever is easiest?  Gather some low-lying fruit.  Chalk up some easy successes.  These intrinsic rewards will pump you up and motivate you to continue.

In fact, this is a pretty effective technique throughout the project:  if in doubt, do what’s easiest.  If you get stuck, do what’s easiest.  There is absolutely no reason to make things more difficult for yourself.  There are no extra points for being strict or harsh with yourself.   The finished puzzle is the finished puzzle — why not get there the easiest way?

4.  Have fun.

Have fun with the activity — enjoy it.  Savor it.  If you don’t enjoy jigsaw puzzles, you’re not going to do them.  If you’re not enjoying your creative project, why continue?  If it’s not fun for you, you won’t have enough energy or motivation to carry it out.

If your creative project feels like a burden, pause. Take stock. What’s going on? Have you hit a challenge that needs resolving? Brainstorm solutions with relevant, trusted others. Are you fatigued or tapped out of ideas? What can you do to replenish your creative energy? Are you bearing the weight of others’ scrutiny or some sense of competition? How can you reframe your efforts more positively?

5. Take breaks.

It’s unreasonable to expect to complete an entire 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle in one sitting.  By the same token, your creative project might take a while.  Break the work into manageable chunks — or better yet, baby steps.

Further, you’ll get more done if you punctuate any extended work session with healthy, brief breaks.

6. Ask for help.

In puzzles and in creative projects, you don’t have to do the whole thing all by your lonesome.  Gather together the support you need.  Ask for specific help.

7.  Keep going. 

Persist.  Keep chipping away at your project — or your puzzle — until you’re done.

8.  Finish well.

As your creative project concludes, it can be exciting. There may be a flurry of activity and emotions as the last few pieces come together. Enjoy it! Savor it! Celebrate it! Revel in your accomplishment a while.

*****

Activity:  Think about a favorite hobby or past-time.  What do you love about it?  How does this activity enhance or give you insights into your creative project(s)?

***

Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in paperback and eBook format: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Jessekoeckhoven [CC0], from Wikimedia Commons

The thing about the national ‘Do Not Call’ List is that it’s focused on what you DON’T want:  phone spam.  Why not take the concept and flip it around to positive ends?  One technique my coaching clients have found useful is to create the following three ‘Do Call’ lists.

‘Do Call’ List #1 — For Fun

The idea here is to have a list of folks you LOVE to talk to — in person or on the phone.  People who make you smile when you think of them.

When you have your ‘Do Call — For Fun’ list handy, you can use it

* when you need a healthy break

* when you want to reward yourself

* to make sure you’re keeping connected to important people in your life

Why not pause now to compose your list — jot down folks you LOVE to talk to — in person or on the phone.  People who make you smile when you think of them.

(Bonus points if you actually paused and composed your list).

‘Do Call’ List #2 — For Support

The concept here is to have a handy, comprehensive list of folks to call when you need an understanding ear or advice or creative brainstorming or information or other forms of support.  This might include friends, colleagues, family members . . . and possibly people you don’t actually know yet.

Why make a list up in advance?  Because when you’re in a situation when you need support, odds are you will be stressed out and not thinking clearly.  When you find yourself in trouble, it’s much easier to scan the support list you’ve composed than to have to generate solutions under duress.

To compose your ‘Do Call — For Support’ list handy, write down as many people as you can in the following categories

* those who offer a kind, listening ear

* those who offer sound advice

* those smarter than you

* those more skilled than you

* those more experienced than you

* those with whom you can invite to join you in creative brainstorming

* those who have relevant information

* mentors

* people you’d love to have mentor you

* anyone who might reasonably be able to provide you with some form of support

* relevant associations, guilds, mastermind groups or other support groups

(Why not pause now to compose your list?)

‘Do Call’ List #3 — For Profit

Okay, this one can be scary  — and is infinitely rewarding.  

Who can you call to increase your bottom line?

This might include

* potential customers or clients

* people who might know potential customers or clients . . .  or might know people who might know potential customers or clients

* potential professional partners

* actual professional partners

* potential service providers

* actual service providers

* potential subcontractors

* actual subcontractors

* potential investors

* actual investors

* people with whom you’d love to network

* successful people from whom you’d love to learn

* relevant associations, guilds, mastermind groups or other support groups

*****

Activity: List at least five people you LOVE to talk to — in person or on the phone.  People who make you smile when you think of them.  

Activity:  Call someone on your list.  Set up a time to have a chat — in person or on the phone.

***

Want more tips and techniques for getting things done? Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in paperback and eBook format: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By user:Amoruso, edited by me, user:was a bee (Image:Bear-standing-zoo-jerusalem.jpg) [CC BY-SA 2.5 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons

No really.  Stop reading and stand up. I’ll wait right here.

*****

Welcome back.  Doesn’t it feel good to simply move your body a bit?  Human beings weren’t meant to spend much time sitting.  Our biology is tailored for hunting and gathering and otherwise moving around throughout the day.

Alas, these days many of us spend a LOT of time sitting.  Instinctively, we *know* this isn’t good…and more and more research is showing just how bad this is for our bodies.

People who sit for eight or more hours a day with have the same risk of dying as people who smoke! A sedentary lifestyle slows metabolism and raises blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol levels. It increases the risk of obesity, cardiovascular disease, and cancer. The more we sit, the less long we live.

So what’s a busy DaVinci to do?   It’s challenging enough to juggle our multiple ideas, projects and talents — without also fretting about the bodily harm we’re incurring for every hour we sit.

The good news is that it’s easy enough to counteract the damage.  If you find yourself sitting for hours at a time, try any of these proven techniques:

* take short physical breaks every hour

Set a timer to go off every sixty minutes. When it goes off, this is your cue to stand up and move your body for one minute.  Stretch.  Touch your toes.  Walk down the hall and back.  Fetch a glass of water.  It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you do anything other than sitting.

If you can swing slightly longer mini-breaks, consider recent research that shows huge health benefits of interspersing six five-minute walking breaks throughout your day.

* find ways to stand while you work

If you spend a lot of time using your computer, find a way to do at least some of your work in a standing position.

Standing desks are becoming increasingly popular…but if that’s not practical for you, search your immediate environment for a shelf, counter or other surface that’s the correct height for you to work comfortably.

* assign different activities to different locations

Is there a way to separate particular activities?  If your printer is in another room, for example, then any time you print something, you’ll stretch your legs en route to fetch your output.

* stand or pace when you are on the phone

If you spend a lot of time on the phone like I do, then this is a good one:  use a headset or bluetooth device so you can be mobile — especially for long calls or phone meetings.  Make a point of standing up whenever you take or place a call — and staying on your feet for the duration. If possible, pace.

* use a stability ball instead of a chair

If you must sit, sit actively.  Sitting on a stability ball engages your core and lower body.

* walk 

This is implicit in some of the preceding posts, but the health benefits of walking can not be overstated. Walking is easy, free, and can be done indoors or out. If you can’t get outside, walk around inside.

* use your imagination

Devise creative ways to spend less and less time sitting down.   You’re a creative person — now apply your amazing brain to benefit your body.

*         *          *

By Libertinus Yomango (originally posted to Flickr as Shame) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

It can feel awful.  It can seem like you’re spinning your wheels, stuck in the same place no matter what you do.

Worse, you can find yourself stressed out and, let’s be honest, frantic — unhealthy for you and unpleasant for everyone else around you.

It can be demotivating.  What’s the point of continuing to do all this stuff?  I’m not getting anywhere with any of  it.

If this sounds like you, understand that it’s a very common challenge of multi-talented people.  We tend to be much more aware of all that we haven’t yet done or achieved, rather than what we have.

So what’s a DaVinci to do?

1. Remind yourself of what you HAVE accomplished

Right now, stop and take stock:  list at least ten of your accomplishments to date.  (No really — stop and make a list right now).

See?  You are not a ‘master of none’ — you’ve already achieved successes — accomplishments that you probably take for granted in your daily life.  And you will continue to experience more, going forward.

2.  Expand your perspective

Rare is the DaVinci who fully appreciates themselves.  If you’re feeling less than successful these days, ask some trusted others how they see you and/or your work.  Odds are that those who care about you are better able to witness your progress.

3. Give yourself some compassion.

Take a few moments to acknowledge that you are a multi-talented person pursuing several projects, wielding several talents and juggling many ideas.  Reflect on everything you’ve got going on.  Now:  pretend that you are a friend — how would you see yourself?  What would you tell yourself?

Be your own best friend:  give yourself compassion, patience and understanding.

4.  Limit your “To Do’s”.

Most DaVincis are painfully aware of the many, many things they haven’t yet done.  It might be ideas they haven’t yet implemented — or projects that are languishing — or the many, many tasks they’ve assigned themselves for today/this week/this lifetime.  Some DaVincis have so many ‘To Do’ lists, they might have difficulty locating their desk or work underneath it all.

This isn’t helpful.  It makes us feel like we’ll never catch up — because how can we?  For as many things as we’re able to cross off our To Do lists, we add more and more things to do.  It’s overwhelming and demotivating.

Rather than listing EVERYTHING you have to do today, for example, focus on the one or two most important things you’d like to accomplish.  Ask yourself:  What is my top priority today?  Concentrate on whatever’s most important.

5.  Keep track of your “Ta Dah’s”, rather than your “To Do’s”.

At the end of the day, take a moment to write down all you got done.  Give yourself credit (literally) for everything you did. Major accomplishments and minor triumphs.  Julia Cameron (author of the Artist’s Way) calls this her ‘Ta Dah’ list.

It’s highly recommended for DaVincis.  This is a daily practice guaranteed to combat ‘Master of None syndrome’ — it will shift your attention and force you to acknowledge your successes.

*****

*****

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

After you have an initial list, consider the following:

First, how are you thinking?  

Are you focused on one thing, or are your thoughts bouncing among different topics? 

To the extent that you can channel your thinking in one concentrated direction, you’ll make more progress.  Spending a set amount of time on one mental task before purposefully switching to a different cognitive activity is a powerful way to make the most out of your thinking. 

If you need to accomplish different thinking activities, toggle between them with purpose. For example:  if you’re embroiled in a brainstorming sessions, it’s not helpful to start analyzing/editing the merits of ideas — or devising implementation plans at the same time.  It’s far more effective to first focus on idea generation exclusively.  Once the ideas slow, then turn your cognitive machinery to analytical activities assessing the different options — the costs, the benefits, the consequences.  A further shift would move your mental processing into prioritizing and selecting. Then to devising implementation plans.  By channeling and directing your mental activities with purpose to focus on one task at a time, you’ll get more done, more effectively and with less stress.

How are your thoughts affecting you?

What is your current mood? What emotion(s) are you currently experiencing?

Scan your body. To what extent are you aware of any physical affects of your thoughts, e.g. a tightness in your shoulders or something else.

How are your thoughts affecting the people around you? 

What kinds of things do you spend most of your time thinking about?  What occupies your brain, for the most part?

Are you thinking primarily about your creative projects  and topics that are most important to you — or are you preoccupied with ‘to do’s’ or ‘what if’s’ or ‘coulda woulda shouldas’?

Spend a few days paying attention to whatever is on your mind. Jot down the thoughts that occur to you, when you notice them.

Then, review your list. What do you notice? Which thoughts are helpful, healthy, and/or positive? Which are not? 

What would you like to be thinking about?   On what would you prefer to be spending your mental energy?

Luckily, we humans have the choice to contemplate whatever we wish.  We can dabble in whatever topics interest us, in the privacy of our own minds. This is perhaps the greatest luxury we can give ourselves:  to spend time thinking about whatever we consider to be important.

All it requires is a shift in focus — and perhaps a daily reminder until we establish the habit of devoting mental energy to Interesting, Important Topics. 

Why not give it a try and see how it is for you? I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments section below.

*****

Activity:  For the next few days, keep track of what you think about.  When you have some private time, review your list.  What do you notice?

Activity:  Make a list:  what would you like to spend your time thinking about?  What topics are interesting and important to you?

Activity:  Each day, review your list of Interesting/Important Topics To Think About.  Make a point of spending some time, every day, thinking about at least one of them.

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in Paperback and eBook format: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Ken Teegardin from Boulder, Boulder (Piggy Bank On Pennies) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

In my coaching practice, I find most DaVincis (i.e. multi-talented people) are either ‘spenders‘ or ‘savers‘.  How you spend money  — or don’t — affects your finances, of course.  By recognizing if you are a spender or a saver, you can use proven financial tips to better manage your money.  How you spend money also affects other aspects of your life.  Knowing if you are a spender or a saver will give you insights into the state of balance in your life as well as your approach to your creative work.

First, are you more of a ‘spender’ or more of a ‘saver’?  You probably know already, but in case you don’t, consider the following descriptions.  Which one sounds more like you?

Signs you’re a Saver:

You minimize the money you spend.   Having money in the bank is important to you, so you contribute to your savings accounts faithfully.  (Yes, you probably have more than one savings account).  You live modesty, within your means.   You tend to save up for major purchases, rather than buying them before you have the money available.  You pay off your credit card bills in their entirety, every month.  Your finances are well organized.  You never pay late fees or penalties on your bills.  You clip coupons and you buy very few Groupons — just the rare ones you know you’ll actually use.   You are probably generous with your friends and family but you seldom spend money on yourself.  You rarely splurge.  Spending money makes you tense and possibly nervous.  You research like crazy before buying…and you probably subscribe to Consumer Reports.  You are susceptible to ‘buyers remorse’.  You go out rarely.  When you do eat out, you excel at bistro math — dividing up restaurant bills, including the tip, fairly and accurately.

Signs you’re a Spender:

When you get the urge, you splurge.  You don’t hesitate to purchase something you want — you buy it on the spot, whether or not you have the money available.  You might just be a shopaholic. You tend to spend more than you have in the bank.  You probably carry a balance on your credit cards from month to month.  You probably incur late fees and penalties on your bills.  Your finances would benefit from being more organized.  You buy Groupons often…and it’s not uncommon for them to expire before you have a chance to use them.  You are generous with your friends and family and also yourself.  When you’re feeling down, spending makes you feel better.  In fact, spending makes you feel very good — possibly even high. You tend to purchase on instinct, rather than research. You go out often and rarely consider the expense.  You leave the bistro math for the savers at the table and just plunk down whatever they tell you to pay.

Financial Tips for Savers:

The good news is that your finances are probably in reasonably good shape and well organized.  By definition, you no doubt have money in the bank.

One financial challenge you may have is fear.  If your frugality is rooted in anxiety about having enough money now or in the future, ask yourself why?  What is the source of your financial fears?  How realistic are they?  What events in the past have affected your beliefs about money?

A second financial challenge you may have is in actually spending money — especially on yourself.  You probably deny yourself simple pleasures and treats for no good reason.

To balance your money management, here are some financial tips for savers:

1.  Examine your beliefs about money. 

• How was money talked about when you were growing up? What words or phrases do you remember?
• To what extent is your present attitude about money and finances similar to — or different from — that when you were growing up?

• As you think about money and finances, how do you feel? Why?

2. How are you treating yourself? Are you enjoying regular simple pleasures? Are you being miserly with yourself? Are you denying yourself things you can afford? Be honest with yourself. What adjustments can you make to treat yourself better, within your budget?

3. Establish a “play” fund — a reasonable amount of money (say 10% of your after tax income) that you must spend on yourself each month.  For fun.  Guilt-free. Find ways to get play into your daily and weekly schedule.

4.  Establish an “education”  or “personal development” fund — if you haven’t already, set up a mechanism to invest in yourself.  Just as you sock away money into long-term savings as well as specific short-term savings goals (e.g. for a trip or a sofa), set up an account for your personal development.  This is money to spend on classes, courses, workshops, books, coaching, skill development, personal enrichment and so forth.

5.  If you haven’t already, set up a fund for ‘giving’ — say 5% or 10% of your after tax income.  It’s not financially healthy to save save save without circulating your money judiciously.

Financial Tips for Spenders:

The good news is that you probably treat yourself well and invest in yourself regularly.

One financial challenge you may have is in managing your money, including your financial paperwork.

Another financial challenge you may face is in moderating and balancing all the spending you’d like to do.

To balance your money management, here are some financial tips for spenders:

1.  Organize your financial paperwork.  Here’s how.

2.  Put your finances in order.  

Would you like to know how you really spend your money? If so, pull out your financial information for the past three months. Tally up how much money you have spent on what kinds of things. Tailor your assessment to make sense for your unique life situation. Create categories that make sense for you (e.g., “work,”  “home,”  “personal,”  “food,” “pets”, “entertainment,”  “learning,”  “leisure”, “health and fitness,” “travel,” “vehicle,” or whatever else is relevant). 

After you crunch the numbers, answer the following:

• What do you notice about how you’re spending your money? What patterns do you see?

• On what are you spending more money than expected?

• On what are you spending less money than expected?
• What adjustments would you like to make, going forward?

3.  Divide your after tax income into different discretionary funds so that all your financial needs are met.  Here’s an easy, proven technique to manage your money.

4.  Learn to prioritize.  When contemplating a purchase, pause to identify what it is that is really, truly, deeply important to you.  Is this a ‘need’ or a ‘want?’ What will be the consequences of this purchase? Rather than reacting to whims and random urges, try identifying what you really want, then devising and implement plans to accomplish your desires.

*****

Activity: Clear some distraction-free time to answer the following questions:

Are you a “spender” or a “saver”?

What are the benefits you get out of being this way?

What are the costs?

What can you do to balance your financial management?

*****

*****

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

Why organize your financial paperwork?

1.  You’ll reduce stress.

Financial matters are often fear-inducing on the best of days.  When tax time rolls around — or whenever you need to find a particular financial document — it can be unnerving, frustrating and extremely stressful to track down what you need.   In contrast, if your financial documents are well organized, you avoid all that needless heartburn.

2.  You’ll save time.

When your finances are organized, you can locate whatever you need within minutes — rather than losing an hour or more every time you need to find a particular invoice, receipt or financial statement.

3.  You’ll save money.

If your financial documents are a mess, then you may be missing out on income — either by not following up on invoices you are due… or by misplacing checks you’ve received.  As well, it’s more likely that you are missing bill payments and are incurring late fees and penalties.  By organizing your finances, you can avoid these unnecessary costs.

4.  You’ll be in a better position to manage your money.

Until you tame your financial paperwork, it’s pretty much impossible to establish good financial habits.  Or track your finances properly.  Or make wise investments.  It may seem trite but Step One on the road to financial freedom is to organize your financial documents.

So Let’s Take Stock

How are your finances organized?  What’s working well — and what isn’t?

If you’re using an ineffective financial filing system, ask yourself why?  How can you keep better track of your finances?  Another question is to ask yourself in what area of your life are you most organized?  Then apply whatever you’re doing in that life domain to your financial paperwork.

If you’re completely at a loss, then here are some ideas to get your finances in order.

Financial Organization 101

1.  Create your Financial ‘Central Command’.

You need one location in which you can store all your financial papers.  The easiest option is to use file folders and to store them in a filing cabinet, a bankers box or an accordian file.

Label each file folder so that you have one for every relevant financial category for that calendar year.  Tailor your files to your circumstances.  They may include things like:

PERSONAL:  ‘2021 personal expenses’, ‘2021 transportation expenses’, ‘2021 health/dental expenses’,  ‘2021 education’, ‘2021 entertainment, ‘2021 travel’, ‘coupons’

DOMESTIC:  ‘2021 rent or mortgage’, ‘2021 insurance’, ‘2012 utilities’, ‘2021 phone’

BUSINESS:  ‘2021 business expenses’,’2021 business invoices’, ‘2021 business income’

FINANCIAL:  ‘2021 investments’, ‘2021 bank accounts’, ‘2021 credit cards’, ‘2021 donations’, ‘2021 tax documents’, etc.

Consider color coding your files so you can find things even faster.  For example, you could use blue folders for personal, red for domestic, green for business, and yellow for financial files.

2.  File your financial papers.

Gather up your financial documents.  Sort them into your file folders.

3. Set up a system for regular bill payments.

Set up automatic bill payments if at all possible.  If that doesn’t work in your case, you need to find a way to pay your bills on time.  You could schedule bill payments on your calendar, for example.  You could set up file folders such as ‘pay this week’, ‘pay this month’, etc.  What’s worked well for you in the past?  What hasn’t?  What would be the easiest way for you to keep on  top of your bills?

4.  Set up a system for regular filing of your financial documents.

Many organizational experts advise you to file papers as soon as you receive them.  This seem impractical, if not laughable.  My own bias is to have a ‘filing basket’ in which paperwork accumulates for the month.  The last day of the month is filing day — whatever’s in the basket gets sorted into the file folders.  Personally, I find ‘batching’ my filing to one session a month far more efficient than sorting papers every day.  As well, using this technique, there are relatively few loose papers to search through whenever I’m looking for something.

5.  Set up an annual process for updating your files.

Every January, set up a fresh set of financial files for the new year.

*****

Activity: Time how long it takes you to find your charitable donations from 2020.  If it takes less than two minutes, pat yourself on the back.  If it takes more than two minutes, apply some of the ideas in this article to improve the organization of your finances.

*****

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish. 

http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

*****

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Brad Flickinger (student_ipad_school – 124) [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

My husband, for example, is most comfortable either learning from books or figuring it out by himself.  When he bought a motorcycle, he took it apart, down to the carcass and rebuilt it so he could understand exactly how it worked.  When he encountered challenges during this process, he consulted books and online postings to devise solutions.

In contrast, in the same situation, I would have signed up for motorcycle classes and workshops.  My preferred learning style means that I learn best when I can see someone demonstrate exactly how to do something — especially when it comes to acquiring or improving skills.  Now I suppose I could pick things up via YouTube clips — pretty much anything you can think of is demonstrated on YouTube — but then it’s up to the viewer to apply it.  That’s where courses and workshops can be helpful:  they provide the opportunity and structure so that you actually spend time developing your chosen skill and consolidating your new knowledge.  It’s also difficult to ask questions of a YouTube video. Bonuses of classwork include things like access and consultation with the expert/teacher plus the interactions with your classmates — people with whom you share common interests.  This can support your learning wonderfully and can have all kinds of unexpected consequences.  Fun fact:  I met Lisa Rothstein (friend and co-founder of The DaVinci Dilemma) at a workshop.  We didn’t attend that session expecting to find a new friend, co-author and business partner, but that’s how things unfolded.

How Do You Like to Learn?

Before we continue, take a moment to think about learning experiences you’d had.

What has worked well for you? (Make a list).

What hasn’t? (Make a list).

If you’re unsure, there are two key models of Adult Learning Styles to consider.

1. David Kolb’s Learning Style Inventory

Kolb’s classic model sorts people according to two factors:  First, do you prefer to learn more through active experimentation or through reflective observation?  Second, do you tend to like to learn more from concrete experience or from abstract conceptualization? Go ahead and ask yourself each of those two questions right now.

If you answered “active experimentation”  and “abstract conceptualization”, you would be labeled a ‘Converger’ in Kolb’s model.  You are good at making practical applications of ideas and using deductive reasoning to solve problems.

If you answered “active experimentation” and “concrete experience”, you would be labeled an “Accomodator”.  You are good at actively engaging with the world and actually doing things instead of just reading about and studying them.

If you answered “reflective observation” and “concrete experience”, you would be labeled a “Diverger”.  You are good at coming up with ideas and seeing things from different perspectives.

If you answered “reflective observation” and “abstract conceptualization”, you would be labeled an “Assimilators” and are capable of creating theoretical models by means of inductive reasoning.

In my opinion, knowing these labels per se are less important that recognizing your learning preferences.  If you learn through ‘active experimentation’, then you would be frustrated indeed taking a theory course or slogging through a theoretical treatise.   So reflect about your answers to the two questions and think about learning experiences you’d had.  What does that tell you about what to do (and what do avoid) in future learning situations?

2. Fleming’s VAK/VARK model

This model separates people into three, self-explanatory groups — visual learners, auditory learners and kinesthetic (i.e. tactile) learners.

Review your answers to the “What Works Well” question above.

If your answer included things like “powerpoint presentations”, “handouts” and “written instructions”, you’re a visual learner and the more visual you can make your educational experience, the more effective your learning.  For example, you’d do well to map out concepts, take detailed notes and make visual representations of the material.

If you answered things like “discussion groups”,  “lectures” and “verbal instructions”, you’re an auditory learner and would benefit from focusing and enhancing the aural elements when learning new things.  You may like talking out loud while you study or asking someone to read you directions while you perform the task at hand.

If your answer was focused more on “doing”  or “applying” or “making” things, you’re a tactile/kinesthetic learner so you know that very practical, hands on learning experiences are most effective for you.  Forget the handouts, just roll up your sleeves and do it.

*****

A reminder:  of course you can learn in many ways.  The purpose of this post is to explore your favorite learning  style and situations — what works best for you.  By identifying your unique learning preferences, you can enhance any educational opportunity.

*****

Activity:  Take a few moments to identify your learning style.

Activity:  Based on your learning style, what can you do to enhance future learning opportunities?

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish. 

http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Anne Norman (Flickr) [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Here are some fun ways to discover more about yourself and your talents:

1.  What were your favorite childhood books?  Write down as many as you can think of.

2.  What were your favorite movies as a youth? Write down as many as you can think of.

3.  Now, review your two lists.  What do your answers say about you? What themes do you see?

4.  Grab a bunch of magazines you are ready to recycle.  Set a timer for twenty minutes.  As fast as you can, flip through the magazines.  Rip out whatever words, phrases, and images resonate with you.  Don’t analyze or edit, just pull out whatever strikes your fancy.

Once the timer goes off, go through the clippings and sort them into piles of similar images.  What groupings do you see?  What themes? Any surprises?

In my case, for example, I was surprised to have created a pile of images depicting ‘nature’ or ‘jungle’ or ‘animals’.  I mean, sure I’m an animal lover — I foster dogs and am a lifelong vegetarian — but what was with all the exotic wildlife and safari images?  There was something there — a strong connection of which I hadn’t been aware. Maybe that was my inner Adventurer?

5.  Now, clear some time to compare the results of all these activities. What do they say about you?  Who are you, deep down?  Who are your ‘secret selves’?

Some selves won’t be so secret.  You probably already know if you’re a ‘scientist’ or a ‘stripper’ at heart.  An ‘athlete’ or an ‘artist’.

But some selves will surprise you.  Gosh, who knew I harbored an  inner nun / cowboy / nerd / fashion model?

Once you bring these lesser known, lesser expressed selves to light, you can have fun with them.  You can use them to inspire or inform your creative work.   You can depict them via different talents and different media.  You can revisit older projects with fresh eyes.  You can jump-start stalled projects.

Okay, my sci fi novel isn’t going so well.  Maybe it’s a western. What if my inner cowpoke was the main character?

This marketing copy is stale.  Maybe my inner teenage brat can breathe some fresh life into it.

One of the joys of creativity is that it is, literally, limitless.  The more you express it, the more creativity you generate.  By identifying your secret selves, you will have that many new touchstones to energize your creative work.

***

For more tips and techniques, check out my workbook  BE MORE CREATIVE:  101 Activities to Unleash and Grow Your Creativity

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Lyn Lomasi [CC0], from Wikimedia Commons

Think about what it might be like to work for Martha Stewart — or to live with her.  Think about auteur directors who reduce their cast and crew to stressed out, nervous wrecks.   If you tend to be a perfectionist, consider how your perfectionism is affecting others.

1.   It puts those around you under excessive stress.

I promise you that if you are stressing over something, you are not doing so solo, in a vacuum.  You are leaking stress onto everyone with whom you come in contact — your colleagues, your friends, your family, your pets and innocent passersby as well.  Think of the family member you snapped at or the slow cashier you stomped away from.  When you’re stressed out, you leave few in your wake unscathed.

2.  It puts others around you at the mercy of your judgment.

You may think you are open to experience, tolerant of others and otherwise Zen.  And perhaps you’re all of those things to some extent.  But part of being perfectionistic is a process of constantly evaluating what’s going on — and comparing it to your sky-high standards.  You frequently make judgments– especially when things unfold differently from your expectations.  It is daunting for others to operate around you when they are under your constant scrutiny.  It might manifest in mundane ways — like when you re-load the dishwasher because your spouse didn’t load it the way you prefer.  Or it might be more stress-inducing — like when you over-edit (or rewrite) a colleagues’ report or take over your kid’s school science project.

3.  Your anxiety is viral.

Any time you are fretting about how things might unfold, you are fomenting a wave of anxiety that ripples forth in all directions.  If you’re worried about something, the people around you are not immune.  Think of the ‘nervous Nellies’ you know.  How pleasant to be around?  Think of them as mirrors.

4.  You can be a Debbie Downer.

Perfectionists often expect the worse.  If this sounds like you, what effect does that have on others?  Do you bring them down too?  Do you expect them to try to convince you otherwise?

When negative events do happen — especially if you tend to extrapolate and exaggerate them – how does that effect your family, friends, colleagues and passersby.

“See?  I didn’t get the part.  I’m a lousy actor.  I’m a complete failure.  My whole life is a waste.  I’m worthless.”  How does that make the people who care about you feel?

5.  Your chronic dissatisfaction is a drag.

If you are rarely satisfied with yourself and with circumstances — as is the case with most perfectionists — this is a drag for everyone with whom you interact.  Even when things turn out magnificently, your happiness is brief.  This hurts people who care about you.  They want you to be happy.  They want to cheer for you.  They want you to feel better about yourself, your life and whatever’s going on.  When you’re unhappy, you’re bringing down the people who love you most.

***

The first step in improving your personal and professional relationships is to become aware of the impact you’re having on others.

Begin by taking note of the reactions of the people in your life:

* Are you causing them stress?

* Are you judging them silently (or out loud)?

* Do you expect others to do things exactly as you would do them?

* Are you spreading your worries?

* Are you bringing them down?

* Do you put others in the position of having to convince you that things aren’t as dire as you can imagine?

* Do you let the people who care about you see you happy?

* To what extent do you beat yourself up or put yourself down in front of those who care about you?

Once you start to see patterns — the reactions of others to your perfectionistic behaviors — you can learn to manage your actions to shield others from your perfectionism.

***

For more, check out my book Overcoming Perfectionism:  Solutions for Perfectionists

Available here in Paperback and eBook format: http://bit.ly/PerfectionismSolutions

***

How about you?  How have perfectionists affected you?  Or how has your perfectionism affected others?  We’d love to receive your thoughts in the comments box below.

*         *          *

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Andre666 at English Wikipedia [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

I know you don’t believe me.  Right now, odds are high that you are reading this article while developing a new product while listening to an inspirational tape while eating lunch and also planning your weekend.

Yes, it’s physically possible to do more than one thing at a time…however what you’re really doing is toggling quickly among different activities.  Doing so scatters your efforts, dilutes your impact and fosters results that are often sub-par if not more unfortunate.  Take something relatively common — like talking on the phone while driving.  You do so at your peril.  The National Safety Counsel reports that 28% of car accidents are triggered by cell phone use or texting while driving.

The science is clear.   Studies have shown — repeatedly — that humans are lousy multi-taskers.   Our brains are designed to focus on only One Thing at a Time.

Rather than resist our biology, why not use this research to your advantage?  You’ve got a lot on your plate.  To the extent you can focus your attention and your efforts on only One Thing at a Time, the more you’ll get done, with less drama and less stress.  And you’ll accrue other benefits as well.

Go ahead.  Try it.  Pick your top priority right now.  Focus on it –and only it — for at least the next thirty minutes.  Witness the uptick in your progress…and the reduction in your stress level.

At the end of the thirty minutes, you can either carry on with that task…or switch your attention to a different priority.  Whatever you choose, commit to focus on only this thing for the next thirty minutes.

If you use this technique consistently for a week, you’re apt to find yourself doing more, more effectively and more efficiently, with less stress.  Try it and see.

***

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in Paperback and eBook format: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

By Peacefulmovements [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

It’s unlikely that we’ll achieve perfect balance in every area of life on every day of our lives . . . yet we certainly can take steps to live a more balanced life.  As discussed in a previous article, we can set aside time to examine our lives and then commit to giving more attention to those aspects of life that are currently getting short shrift.

We can also make some small adjustments on a daily basis, simply by asking ourselves two key questions every morning:

Daily Question #1.  What’s one thing I can do today that would make me feel terrific?

Be candid with yourself.  Allow your internal self will tell you what you need most — whatever you’re yearning for deep down.  It might be to accomplish something that’s been weighing on your mind — to cross something specific off your ‘to do’ lists.  Then again, your inner self might be craving a walk.  Or a nap.  Or tea with a friend.  It could be that the kitchen needs attention.  Or your spouse.  Or your finances.

The phrasing of this question is key.  You’re not asking ‘What should I do today?’ or “What do I have to do today?’ or ‘What’s my priority today?’.  You’re asking yourself what would raise your spirits.  And that’s the purpose of this:  simply to feel better.  When you feel better about your life, you’ll be better equipped to deal with everything on your plate — with less stress and more contentment.

Here’s the great part:  there’s no one right answer.  Whatever springs to mind on a particular morning is perfect.

Daily question #2:  If I had an uninterrupted thirty minutes today to spend on anything I wish, how would I spend it?

This may spark a similar answer to Question #1 — or it might trigger a completely different answer.  The first question evokes a gut response while the second evokes action. Today, for example, when I asked myself the two questions, my answer to the first was “spend some time outside” while my answer to the second was “filing”.  My inner self was craving Vitamin D, while my inner neatnik was wanting to restore order to my desk.  By asking the two questions, I was able to identify two different, entirely doable activities — both of which amounted to small adjustments in my life balance.

Why thirty minutes?  It’s enough time to accomplish something — yet small enough to fit into any day.  Yes, you are worth thirty minutes a day.  (You’re actually worth more, but let’s use ‘thirty’ as a starting point).

Try this:  ask yourself the two questions every day this week.  Experience the impact that small daily adjustments can have on your life balance.

*****

*****

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By Havaysard79 (http://moneypantry.com/tip-jar/) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons

I was fortunate in taking T. Harv Eker’s Millionaire Mind workshop from the master himself.  Among the many valuable things I learned was his ‘Money Jars‘ system.  Basically, you set up labeled jars for different purposes and begin a weekly practice of depositing money into them. Initially, the amount of money doesn’t matter.  You can start with as little as $1 and divide it up into your money jars.  The important thing is to establish the habit of distributing your cash towards different, specific purposes.

So pick an amount that is comfortable for you to play with — $1, $10, $100, or more a week.

Now take six empty jars and label them as follows:

1.  Necessities — this is where you will put 50% of your money. This is earmarked for food, shelter and other fundamental domestic expenses.

2.  Financial Freedom Account: 10% will be untouchable money you will invest and grow and never spend.  In T. Harv Eker’s world, this is “the goose that will lay your golden eggs.”  He also advocates putting something into this account every day — even if it’s just a coin or two — as a way of establishing the daily habit of investing in your financial freedom.

3.  Long-term Savings Account(s): 10% will be allocated to one or two specific big ticket items.  For example, you might sock away the whole 10% in a ‘car’ account.  Or you might put 5% in a ‘vacation’ account and 5% in a different account, earmarked for a ‘dining table’.  If you don’t already have a “Contingency Account” — money you’ve set aside to cover unexpected expensive events such as illness or job loss — then it is highly recommended that you devote some or all of your Long-Term Savings Account to this purpose until you’ve socked away enough to cover four to six months of living expenses.

4.  Education/Personal Development: 10% of your money will be earmarked for courses, classes, workshops, books, coaching, skill development, personal enrichment and so forth.  This self-investment is the financial equivalent of putting yourself first.

5.  Play: 10% is for your guilt-free enjoyment.  Spend it on things that make you happy.  Eker would also advocate spending it on things that make you feel wealthy.  There is a catch here:  you MUST spend this money every month.  This won’t be an issue for some people — but those of you who are ‘savers’ — or those of you who tend to deny yourself simple pleasures — this will be a challenge.  The Play account is designed to force you to actually enjoy your money.  This is key in changing any negative deep-seated beliefs or fears you have about money or wealth.

6.  Give: 10% is for charitable donations.  Most wealth experts — folks like Eker and Suze Orman and their ilk — advocate giving as an automatic or even a spiritual practice.  Some advocate it from the perspective of the “Law of Circulation” — that giving is a way of tapping into a flow of resources — as you give, you will receive.  The point here is that part of balancing your financial activities includes giving to others.

Once you have your money jars set up, it’s a matter of making a weekly practice of dividing up your chosen amount into the jars.  As you feel more comfortable with the process — and as you have more money available — increase the amount you are investing each week.

At some point, you will have enough cash saved to create separate bank accounts for each money jar.  This is especially easy to do if you have an online banking account.  You can simply create and name different accounts “Financial Freedom”, “Vacation”, “Give”, etc.

Now the idea is that as you incur expenses, you will pay them out of the relevant money jar.  For example, you’d pay for your workshop out of your “Education/Personal Development” account.  You’d pay for groceries out of your “Necessities” account.  Eker goes so far as to pay his credit card bill with five checks instead of one — paying for each category of expenses from their corresponding accounts.  (Hey, you can call him crazy, but he’s also crazy rich).

The Money Jars Work

It seems surreally simple, but the Money Jar system works.  It’s a proven way to manage your money, to balanceyour financial activities — and it’s another great example of how small changes can have a huge impact on your life.  One broke woman began by investing a ten cents every week.  Seriously.  She took ten pennies and divided them up into her jars every week.  Within a year, she had dug herself out of considerable credit card debt, started a contingency fund and built up a Financial Freedom account which was earning her passive income.

Why The Money Jars Work

1.  They ensure you will establish good financial habits.

2.  They automatically balance your financial activities.

3.  They ensure that “spenders” will save for their long-term financial freedom as well as for short-term financial expenses.

4.  They force “savers” to spend money on things like their Education/Personal Development and Play.

5.  They help you overcome financial fears.  By taking weekly, well-balanced financial actions, all the bases are covered, and your financial anxieties dwindle.  Instead you will feel relief.

6. The “Play” account guarantees you will get enjoyment out of your money.  This is gratifying in the short term and helps disrupt any negative, deep-seated beliefs you may have about money or wealth. Until you do that, it’s pretty much impossible to put your finances in order.

7.  By definition, they put your finances in order.  You’re managing your money, despite yourself.

*****

Activity: What amount of money would you be comfortable investing in the Jars system each week?

Activity: Take empty jars and label them “Necessities”, “Financial Freedom”, “Education/Personal Development”, “Play” and “Give”.  Label your “Long-Term Savings” jar(s) with the specific thing you’re saving — “Contingency Fund”, “Car”, “Dining Table” or whatever.  Now take the amount of money you’ve selected and divide it into your jars according to Eker’s formula:  50% into “Necessities” and 10% into every other jar.  Mark your calendar for a check-in in four week’s time.

Activity: Every day, add a little something to your Financial Freedom jar.

Activity: Every week, divvy up your chosen amount into your money jars.

Activity: As your cash grows, set up specific bank accounts for each money jar.  Establish the habit of paying for things out of the relevant money jar or its corresponding bank account.

Activity: On the date you scheduled your one month check-in, take stock.  How many weeks, out of the past four have you divided cash into the money jars?  If you’ve done so four out of four weeks, congratulations!  You’re well on your way to putting your finances in order.  If you haven’t, what adjustments are needed?  Have you spent your Play money for this month?  If not, do.

*****

*****

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

We are living through the first global pandemic of modern times. It’s a time of unprecedented uncertainty, overwhelming challenges, and profound changes in our lives, our society, and the world. But while no one can control the coronavirus, you absolutely can control how you respond. There are concrete and simple steps you can take right now to better cope with the Covid-19 crisis. You can choose to thrive, no matter your circumstances.

Liisa Kyle, Ph.D. is an author and life coach who has spent the last twenty years helping people navigate challenges and times of crisis. She’s written this book so you can meet this and future crises by guiding you to:

• Tend to the basics
  • Safety
  • Self-Care
  • Fundamental needs  (physical, mental, spiritual, and social)
• Handle your emotions
  • Examine and manage strong feelings such as  sadness, grief, anger, fear, and anxiety
  • Reduce stress and cultivate calm
• Manage your mind
  • Cultivate positive thoughts
  • Counter negative thoughts
• Take action
• Make the best of the situation
  • Identify opportunities
  • Make desired changes in your life
  • Improve your relationships
  • Put things in order
• Navigate the New Normal
  • Examine lessons learned
  • Identify your values and priorities
  • Examine your personal resources and liabilities
  • Make conscious choices

Available in paperback or eBook format here: https://bit.ly/CopingWithTheCovidCrisis

By The Photographer [CC0], from Wikimedia Commons

Age isn’t the issue.  It’s how you feel about your life.  So ask yourself:  how fulfilled am I these days?  How happy?  How balanced is my life?  How much energy do I have?  What’s working well?  What’s not?

It might be that a few minor adjustments will improve your life in a big way.

If, however, it’s time for a big change, fear not.  It’s possible to start a wonderful new chapter at any age in life.

Now if you’re really ready to start a second (or third) life, I highly recommend It’s Only Too Late If You Don’t Start Now by the wonderful, wise Barbara Sher.  She gives detailed guidance as to how to transform apparent midlife crisis into a great new life chapter…and to improve your life in the process.  My purpose today is raise awareness that if there’s a second (or third) life you crave, it’s not too late.

It’s Not Too Late

History is full of examples of folks who started successful new chapters later in life:

Andrea Bocelli began singing opera seriously when he was 34.

Julia Child was almost 40 when she learned to cook and found her true passion.  It took another decade for her to publish her classic cookbook and she didn’t start her seminal TV show until she was 51.

Laura Ingalls Wilder began writing a newspaper column in her forties.  She didn’t write or publish her  Little House series until she was in her sixties.

Colonel Harland Sanders was 65 years old when he launched his Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) restaurants.

Peter Mark Roget didn’t start compiling his Thesaurus until he was 70.  It was first published when he was 73.

Grandma Moses began painting when she was 76.  She created more than a thousand paintings over the next twenty-five years.

Is there something that you’ve always wanted to do…but haven’t got around to yet?  Maybe you have childhood dream that you’ve given up on.  Perhaps there is a particular creative project you have shelved over and over again…about which you feel guilty and heartsick.  It could be that you’re yearning to develop and hone a new talent…or unearth an old talent you’ve been neglecting.  Whatever it is, if it’s important to you, it’s only ‘too late’ if you don’t start now.

***

Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

Mosaic by Liisa Kyle, Photo (c) Liisa Kyle

When was the last time you took a class or a workshop to learn a new skill?  As a multi-talented person,  you may well balk saying, ‘The last thing I need to to acquire yet another skill — I can’t manage the ones I’ve already got!”  Yet DaVincis can benefit a lot when they learn something new — which is why I often recommend doing so to my uber-talented coaching clients.

Full disclosure:  There are many ways to learn and my favorite is via school.  I loved it as a kid and I adore it even more now. I can’t decide if I prefer teaching or taking classes.  Either way, I get a certain happy tingle whenever I’m on campus.  Every semester I sign up to take one or more courses.  Most of what I take is focused on deepening my existing skill set.  But I’m also keen to learn something new, so I keep an eye peeled for those opportunities.

Recently, I signed up for a mosaic workshop.  It reminded me — again — why venturing into new terrain is so beneficial for DaVincis:

1.  It’s good to remember that you don’t know everything.

Talented as you are, there’s always more you can learn.  There are always experts who know a subject better than you.  When you learn something new, you have the opportunity to appreciate others’ skills.

I’ve made mosaics in the past. I figured, how hard can it be?  You slap down some grout, push some broken bits of pottery into it and voila!  You have a mosaic.  Well, you do have a mosaic..and the quality is apt to be iffy, if my past efforts are any indication.  It didn’t take long under the tutelage of someone who actually knew what she was doing before I realized that I’d been going at all wrong.  I had been using the wrong materials, the wrong tools and the wrong techniques.

2. Learning something new can build on and enhance the skills you’ve already got.

Acquiring new techniques can draw from your current skill set, consolidate them, and expand them.

It was easy to incorporate my design, collage, mixed media and glass working techniques into my new mosaic project.  My new mosaic project gave me an opportunity to extrapolate these older skills in the context of a new medium.

3. When you learn something new, you will make mistakes.

It is unreasonable to expect that you will be speaking fluent French after one lesson.   If you take up piano, it will require a fair bit of effort and practice before you play passably, let alone flawlessly.

It can be odd for someone who is used to doing things well to be put in a position in which their results are likely to be sub-par.  That’s why perfectionists often get very frustrated when they learning something new — they’re used to being competent and they have sky-high standards for themselves — so doing things imperfectly is unnerving.  They are self-conscious that their initial attempts to parlez francais invite an unfortunate comparison with native speakers…so decide they ‘can’t learn French’ or ‘don’t have a talent for languages’.

However, if you let it, the experience can be freeing.  Rather than getting all caught up in how you sound during your first French class, give yourself permission to make mistakes for the purpose of learning.

Rather than obsessing over the quality of my first (real) mosaic — or fretting over the quality of the final product — I halted these unhelpful thoughts by saying, “Hey, this is not a product, it’s an experiment.  It’s a chance to learn.  It doesn’t matter how it turns out or how many mistakes I make along the way — it’s my first such vessel.  The next one will be better.”

Which, when you think about it,  is a far healthier, far more helpful internal dialogue during ANY project than, say, constantly evaluating and judging your work as you do it.  If you’re constantly scrutinizing your efforts and working in fear of making mistakes, that can squelch your creativity…if not utterly paralyze it.

4.  You may discover a new talent.

It may be that you have an affinity or flair for what you’re learning.  You may find yourself with a burgeoning new talent.

I enjoyed my first (real) mosaic so much, I set up a new, properly stocked mosaic station in my studio for future such projects.

5.  You will generate more ideas.

Anytime you learn something new, it stimulates your brain.  You can’t help but conjure up many ideas — ways to improve your existing work, exciting new directions they could turn as well as plenty o’ potential new projects.

In my case, my recent mosaic workshop sparked refinements in a glass fusing project I’m doing.  It generated this blog.  And my newfound interest in mosaics plus my existing passion for welding has sparked a completely new project:  making an outside patio set.

*****

Activity: Look for classes or workshops on new topics.  Review your local college, Parks & Recreation, and/or Learning Annex offerings.   What would be a fun new skill to acquire?  What new techniques would you like to add to your creative toolbox?

***

For more tips and techniques, check out my workbook  BE MORE CREATIVE:  101 Activities to Unleash and Grow Your Creativity

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Daniel Skorodjelow [CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0) or GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html)], from Wikimedia Commons

As creative people, we have the imagination to find creative ways to deny ourselves simple pleasures.  You should hear the convoluted excuses my uber-talented coaching clients devise as to why they couldn’t possibly, say, sit outside watching clouds for half an hour.  It’d be funny if it weren’t so sad that they are denying themselves such basic human treats.

Even though I know better, sometimes I catch myself doing the same thing.  (“Oh no, I can’t go for a rollerblade this morning . . . it’s a workday!”)

Why do we do it?  Sometimes it’s guilt.  Sometimes it’s low self-esteem (a sense that you don’t ‘deserve’ a treat). Sometimes it’s because you put everyone else’s needs first.  Sometimes it’s a societal dictum or an unhealthy belief like, ‘I have to work hard and earn X before I deserve a treat.”

Whatever the reason, the truth is that not only do you deserve to treat yourself to simple pleasures – it’s essential for your health, well-being and creativity.

Right now, take a moment to list ten simple pleasures you love.  Forget about cost or time or practicalities.  What are ten simple pleasures that give you joy?

It might be particular activities like walking on the beach or reading outside.  Perhaps you’re craving certain visual treats found at an art gallery or garden center.  It could be a particular food – something from your childhood or something you just plain adore.  Maybe it would be a treat to take a few hours and daydream…or do nothing at all.    What are YOUR simple pleasures?

(If you’re completely stuck, here are some more examples).

Next question:  How often do you treat yourself to these simple pleasures?

Go down your list and write down, beside each item, the last time you indulged in this simple pleasures.

If it’s been a while, you owe it to yourself to work some simple pleasures into your life.  Starting today.

What’s that you say?  You can’t possibly.  You have too much to do.  You don’t have enough time.

I don’t believe you.

Ask yourself this:  what do you spend time doing that you really don’t enjoy – and that you really don’t have to be doing?  What isn’t particularly healthy or helpful?  What could you be doing less of, if you were honest with yourself?

Maybe you’re a workaholic spending many more hours on the job than is really required.  Perhaps you spend time worrying or stressing or complaining.  It could be you’re running errands you really don’t need to be doing. Maybe clutter is making basic tasks take twice as long as they would, if your space was more organized.  Maybe you’re wasting your evenings watching television programs you don’t really like.

Whatever your day is like, you have an opportunity to do less of what you don’t want – and more of what you do want.

So what’s stopping you?

Have you got into a rut?  Have you developed habits that need to be disrupted?

Are you being unnecessarily strict with yourself out of some need to punish yourself for something?

Do you believe you have to work hard to earn X before you deserve a treat?

Whatever’s going on I promise that if you work some simple pleasures into your day and your week, every day and every week, you’ll be happier, healthier, less stressed, more productive,  and more creative.

Now it could be you’re completely convinced and have already stopped reading to head to the beach.  (Wouldn’t that be wonderful?).

But if that’s not the case — if you’re having difficulty indulging in some simple pleasures, it may be helpful to dig deeper – to examine why you are treating yourself the way you are.  There may be unhelpful, false beliefs underlying your behavior.  Why are you being so hard on yourself?

For example, I have a coaching client who spends hours every day surfing the internet…checking her email and Facebook news feed . . . reading multiple versions of the same news.  Does she need to spend hours doing this?  No.  Does she enjoy spending hours doing this?  No.  She feels awful.  Stressed out and guilty.  Are there other things she’d rather be doing?  Yes!  She’d rather be writing or making crafts or taking classes or working out or doing twenty other things. So what’s stopping her from doing any of this?

Well for one thing, surfing the internet gives the illusion of being busy and active and worthwhile.

Digging deeper, she realizes that she is punishing herself for not making more money.  Her underlying belief is that she doesn’t deserve to have fun because she hasn’t earned it. Note the irony:  rather than devoting time to entrepreneurial activities that would actually generate income, she fritters away hours a day on an unproductive, unhealthy habit…as punishment for not earning enough.

How about you?  What’s really going on?

Whatever it is, I invite you to address it and to look for opportunities to indulge in regular simple pleasures.

*****

*****

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Regardless of how kind we try to be, each of us have been hurt by someone else  — and each of us has hurt someone else.  Just as we must apologize and ask forgiveness when we do wrong, it’s only fair that we forgive those who wrong us.

Sometimes that’s not easy.  When someone hurts us, there is a natural resistance to responding with kindness.  But forgiveness is not approval for what occurred.  Forgiveness is not ‘letting someone off the hook’.  Forgiveness is an acknowledgment that we all make mistakes.

“But you don’t understand,” you may protest.  “They were wrong!  They hurt me badly!  Why should I forgive them?”  Well, ask yourself this:  would you rather be right or would you rather be healed?  If you want to heal, you must forgive them.

Truthfully, forgiveness is letting YOU off the hook:  it’s a way to release the pain, the anger, the fear and the resentment we experience when someone hurts us.  Forgiveness gives us the opportunity to heal and move on.

The alternatives don’t work.  Lashing back or seeking revenge is never as satisfying as we imagine.  Harsh actions injure us in the long run.  Holding grudges and hard feelings against those who have harmed us hurts us much, much more than it affects them.

The longer we let resentments and regrets fester, the more we are damaging our own happiness.  It’s impossible to be happy if we are bearing burdens from the past. Who does it serve if you are walking around, bitter and seething about something that happened a decade ago…while the person who hurt you can’t even remember your name, let alone the incident?  Grudges hurt you, not them.

“But it’s too late,” you may say.  No, it isn’t.  When you hurt someone, it’s better to apologize immediately, of course.  But it’s better to apologize late than not at all.  Forgiveness works the same way.  We can be way overdue when it comes to forgiving others.  But as soon as we do, we can heal.  And we can’t move forward until we forgive.

“But I don’t even know where they are, what they’re doing, if they are even alive,” you might counter.  It doesn’t matter.  If you can forgive someone in person, it’s powerful.  But you can also forgive someone without them knowing anything about it.  It doesn’t matter where they are or what they’re doing — you have the power to forgive them, right here, right now.

Forgiveness is really a gift you give yourself.  You’ll feel the difference in your own heart when you truly forgive someone.  There’s a little shift, deep down.  It feels like relief.  It’s the first step to replacing the pain of the incident with peace and joy. Imagine what it would feel like to erase your regrets!

Now, it’s one thing to forgive someone else – it’s another to forgive yourself.   Many of us are hard on ourselves.  We expect perfection.  We punish ourselves for mistakes we’ve made.  But if we insist on carrying negative experiences and regrets from our past, we are needlessly denying ourselves happiness in the present.

We need to forgive ourselves.  We deserve being treated kindly and compassionately – even by ourselves.  As human beings, we all make mistakes.  Whatever it is, forgive yourself.  You deserve the same courtesy you would give someone else.  Imagine the relief of truly forgiving yourself!  Picture yourself laying those unnecessary burdens down…and stepping into happiness.

That is the power of forgiveness.

*****

Let’s say you’ve been wronged.  Someone did a bad thing.  Now what are you going to do about it?

1. You can stew — keep it all inside, festering.  That only hurts yourself.
2. You can play the victim. You tell everyone what a horrible thing happened to you – spread the word about what a terrible person the perpetrator of the incident is.  This only foments negativity and spreads the pain.
3. You can lash back — seek revenge or payback.  This may give you momentary satisfaction but it won’t feel nearly as satisfying as you anticipated – and it will not heal your pain.
4. You can forgive them and move on.  If you want to heal —  if you want to be happy, forgiveness is the answer.

Activity: Take a moment to make a forgiveness inventory.

1. Who do you need to forgive?  What grudges are you holding?

2. Choose someone from your initial answer

– What is it costing you to hold these resentments?  How does it make you feel?  How does it affect how you are living your life?

– What benefits might there be to forgiving them?  How would you feel?  How might it improve your life?

     – Imagine this person as a child, helpless and alone.   Could you have compassion for them in that circumstance?  Can you acknowledge that they are a fallible human being, susceptible to making mistakes?   You don’t need to justify or approve of what they did.  But can you forgive them?

3.  Forgive them. Take a moment and release the burden you’ve been carrying.

Activity: Forgive yourself.

1. What do you need to forgive yourself for?  What regrets are you holding?

2.  Select one item from your list.

– What does it cost you to carry this burden?

– What benefits would there be to forgiving yourself?  How would you feel?  How would it change how you are living your life?

– What’s stopping you from forgiving yourself?  Why are you denying yourself this relief?

– What can you do to forgive yourself?

3. Take a moment.  Acknowledge that you are a fallible human, that you make mistakes and that you deserve forgiveness for them.  View yourself with compassion and kindness.  Forgive yourself.

*****

For more, check out my book “GET OVER It:   Overcome Regret, Disappointment and Past Mistakes”.  Available here:  http://bit.ly/GetOverItNow

*****

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

This material is excerpted and adapted from my book “GET OVER It:   Overcome Regret, Disappointment and Past Mistakes”.  Available here:  http://bit.ly/GetOverItNow

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

So what’s my newest discovery?  A strong but flexible plastic box, about a foot square by 4 inches wide that buckles closed.  It has a strap for carrying — meaning that the contents are contained and portable.  Inside is a plastic accordian file — a dozen separate polymer slots for organizing their contents, each with a tab you can label.  These slots are perfect for capturing  and sorting bits of paper or files or sample materials or photos or clippings or ticket stubs or napkins with great ideas scrawled on them.  At the back of the box, there’s an empty wider space — perfect for toting bulkier items like tools, books and supplies — or more files if you prefer.  This is the kind of organizational product that would be perfect for housing photos, recipes, financial papers, etc. — not to mention the purpose for which it was designed:  scrapbooking.  For DaVincis — creative people managing many talents, ideas and projects — it could be used to organize and manage things like:

* creative ideas

* items relevant to a particular talent

* ideas, plans and resources for a particular project

* a “Balance Box” in which each section is devoted to an Important Area of Life

* a special event

When I espied this device, I actually squealed with joy, scooped up an armload and sprinted to the cashier.  Within an hour of arriving home, I’d customized one for a colleague and devoted another to my home renovations.  A third one became “Control Central” for my metal creations.  A fourth is devoted to songwriting…and that’s just the beginning.  I may well replace my hanging file folder system with a sequence of these boxes, they work so well.

Now I’m telling you about this box, not as an endorsement of a particular company or product, but rather as a way of demonstrating the delights and utility of an excellent organizational aid — it’s practical, functional and can fulfill a zillion functions.  It reduces stress, imposes order and enhances efficiency. These are but some of the benefits of being organized.

In my coaching practice, I’ve helped a lot of DaVincis get organized.  My recent discovery of the box prompted me to think about other organizational products that work well for creative people.   Here are some of my favorites:

1.  The Stationary Sorter

If you are a visual organizer — more of a ‘piler’ than a ‘filer’ — then I hope you have a stationary sorter.  This is a nest of cubbyholes into which you can stack  materials and ideas. You can have different cubbies for different talents — or different projects — or both.  This practical alternative to file folders has transformed the lives of many of my coaching clients.  There’s no law that says you must organize things into files.  Piles work just fine, assuming they are orderly piles, like those you create in a stationary sorter.

2. Book Shelves

Oh sure, you can use your bookshelves to store your books — but they’re also a highly effective way to store your projects in progress.  Think of them as huge ‘stationary sorters’.  You can use each shelf to hold materials and equipment for a given project — or you can devote each shelves to house the works, materials and tools of a particular talent.

If, like me, you don’t like the messy appearance of your project piles — or if the sight of them is a distraction for you, guess what?  You can put opaque doors on bookshelves.  When you close the doors, you hide mess and avoid the distraction.

This is a point worth emphasizing:  putting things in order is a way of reducing stress and visual chaos.  An orderly work surface is less distracting.  It’s also more efficient because you can work without first (a) locating the approximate position of your desk, (b) relocating the clutter that’s on it, (c) fighting whatever tempting distractions and new, tangential ideas that emerge as you unearth your work surface and (d) digging back through the clutter, seeking relevant materials and supplies for whatever it was you wanted to sit down and do…if only you can remember what that was.

3.  Lidded Cardboard Storage Boxes

Think of a generic version of the cardboard boxes that photocopy paper comes in:    plain cardboard boxes with built in handles and removable lids.  I usually buy mine in flat packs of ten.  They store easily until they’re needed, when it just takes a few seconds to fold the flat pieces into boxes and lids.

You can use these to hold whatever fits in an 10 ” x 12″ x 15″ space — things like files or tools or projects or supplies.

To the extent that you have the space to store them handily, I recommend you devote a separate box to every project that’s important to you — past, present and future.  Start by taking all your current projects.  Label separate boxes for each project.  Now load them up with their relevant materials.  (It’s fine if a given project requires more than one box).  Got an idea for a new opera you want to tackle next year?  Label a fresh box with its working title.  As you collect relevant ideas or materials for your opera, add it to your ‘new opera’ box.   What about that half-done novel you stopped writing five years ago?  Put your most recent draft plus any relevant files, materials or resources into it’s very own, labeled storage box.  It’s at the ready if ever you want to re-start it — and if you don’t choose to finish it, that’s fine too.  DaVincis would be sad indeed if we ‘had’ to finish everything we start.

Cardboard storage boxes work well with DaVincis who are overwhelmed or resistant to get organized.  Getting organized doesn’t have to be big deal.  Just shovel your stuff into separate, labeled boxes.  You’re done.  If you so desire, you can further organize the contents of each box — but it’s not required.  Just putting your things into relevant boxes will help tremendously.  NOW, when you need a particular tool or invoice, your don’t have to search through everything you own — your search is limited to the interior of one box.

4.  The Labeler

When I mention the labeller as an organizational product, some clients scoff.  (I scoffed myself, before I actually tried using one, so I empathize completely).  Here’s what I know:  the labeler is a magical device that will bring newfound order to your world, if you let it.

For years, I used calligraphy to make my file folders, idea books and scrapbooks neat, well organized and attractive.  Or so I thought.  Then I got a labeler and my world was rocked.  I can’t explain why but proper printer labels make all the difference.  There’s a certain peacefulness about plain type, perfectly proportioned.  It’s clear, easy to read and visually soothing.  Now I begin each year and with fresh manila folders, each plainly labeled.  My pantry items are in clear jars, each with a labeled top.  Labels grace my storage bins, project shelves, tool drawers, stationary sorter cubbies and art supplies.  I even use it in my scrapbooks to add titles or background information — so much faster than using alphabet stickers and so much neater than handwritten notes.

5.  Sticky Notes and Sticky Tabs

Keeping your activities organized doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated.  My main organizational aid during graduate school was a piece of 8″ x 11″ paper, covered with sticky notes.  One sticky note was a ‘to do’ list for one research project; another sticky note were my ‘to dos’ for a different project.  A third sticky note captured ‘Coursework’ items while a fourth listed “Teaching” tasks.  Other stickies recorded my progress on daily and weekly quotas as well as my ‘domestic to dos’.   As new projects or priorities emerged, they got their own new sticky.

What works about this ‘system’ is that it’s fast, cheap, easy, infinitely flexible, portable and visual:  you can see at a glance, everything that needs doing — but these things are contained on separate stickies, so they are orderly and manageable.  You can color code your activities if you wish, using different colored stickies for different lists.  Best of all, every day you’re guaranteed to get the little thrill inherent in literally crossing items off your ‘to do’ lists.

Sticky tabs are for more than just flagging a book passage or indicating where a signature is needed.  Sticky tabs are great for organizing idea books.  If you take any blank book and slap some sticky tabs on it to divide it into relevant sections, you can use it to simultaneously capture and organize your ideas.

*****

This is not an exhaustive list of organizational products by any means, but it does highlight some of what seems to work well with DaVincis like you.   If you are wanting to get organized, give them a try and see what you think.

*****

Activity: Think back — what organizational products have worked well with you at different times in your life?

Activity: Review this list of organizational products.  Is  there something mentioned that you haven’t tried yet?   Why not give it a spin?

Activity: The next time you’re in an office supply store or IKEA or a discount store, browse the aisles for other organizational products.

***

Want more tips and techniques for getting things done? Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in Paperback and Ebook format: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

By Clker-Free-Vector-Images on Pixabay (Pixabay) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons

If you’re a bookworm like me, you may be delighted at what, exactly, is on your bookshelves.  If you take time to review what you own, there are probably gifts or books you bought to read ‘someday’ that you haven’t got around to.  There are also old favorites that will read like new — because you’re a different person now than you were when you last read them.  Scanning your bookshelves is like browsing in our own personal bookstore — and it’s tailored to your literary tastes.

It’s kinda like a book version of ‘shopping in your own closet’. Which is another fun discovery.  There are probably some cool items hanging in your closet, unbeknownst to you. In my case, I’m the opposite of a clotheshorse. I don’t enjoy clothes shopping, so I don’t do it very often — and still somehow I’ve managed to acquire hidden treasures among my wardrobe. 

Or what about your art and craft supplies?  It can be inspiring indeed (not to mention ecologically and fiscally responsible) to identify and re-purpose what you already have.  “Hmm, what can I make out of this?” may well lead you to create something unexpected and satisfying.

And as you go through your belongings, as you identify what’s pleasing or useful to you, why not take note of what’s not? Donate or dispose of what’s not serving you.   Someone else might find your trash a welcome source of inspiration.

*****

Activity:  Go through your books.  Find something to read that you didn’t know you had.

Activity:  Re-read a favorite book you haven’t read in a long time.

Activity:  Go through your clothes.  Find at least one thing that you didn’t know you had.

Activity:  Go through your arts and crafts supplies.  Make something fun with what you’ve already got.

***

For more tips and techniques, check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in paperback and eBook formats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

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By Eviatar Bach [Public domain], from Wikimedia Commons

The most powerful words on the planet are the ones we use to describe ourselves.  We might not even be aware of what those words are — or where they came from.  As DaVincis — multi-talented people juggling many ideas and projects — we are likely to have internalized others’ complaints about our diverse activities.  “Dilettante!”  “Flake!”  “Irresponsible!”  “Unrealistic!”  “Grandiose”  “Dilly-dallier” are just a few of the brands we’re apt to have attracted.

One helpful task in Julia Cameron’s Vein of Gold is a two-part activity that addresses these negative labels we may harbor deep down.  The first part of the assignment is to identify ten of the derrogatory labels we recall from childhood.  You know — those hurtful things someone branded us when we were young — things like “dreamer” or “foolish” or “not focused”.  Those spoken syllables that chided us when we were too naive to know that such descriptors were just that person’s opinion — and probably said more about that person’s issues and personality than it did about our own.

The second step Cameron prescribes is to convert these negative labels into something more positive, helpful…and probably more accurate.  For example:  “Dilettante converts to interested in many things.  Dreamer converts to powerfully imaginative…. Eccentric converts to original.”

It takes courage to dredge up the complaints that people had about us when we were children.  For example, my father used to call me “Lady of Leisure”.  I don’t know why.  I had a ton of extracurricular activities and part-time jobs and volunteered on top of it all. Yet every time he caught me daydreaming, he’d call out, in a teasing sing-song voice, “Hello, ‘Lady of Leisure’!”  He probably meant it jokingly, but it stung every damn time he said it.

Or, I distinctly recall the afternoon when one elementary school chum, with whom I’m still pals, expressed her exasperation that I “start all these different projects and never finish any of them!”  Now the truth is that I started many different projects and I finished many of them — and the cosmic Truth is that no-one HAS to finish EVERYTHING they start.  In fact, the physical reality is that it’s absolutely impossible to do so.

It’s painful to reflect on those labels that stuck through adulthood — in my case, things like being called ‘intense’.  I don’t enjoy being branded ‘intense’.  It makes me wince.  And yet, when I think of the people in my life I would describe as being ‘intense’, I don’t mean it as a complaint.  For them, I think of ‘intense’ as a synonym for ‘passionate’ or ‘scary smart’ or ‘focused’.

Which leads nicely into the second part of the Cameron exercise:  turning, in her words, “dross into gold”.  Reframing the negative labels into something more helpful and positive.

This is a very gratifying — and beneficial — activity.

Okay, my dad implied I was ‘lazy’, but really, any downtime he witnessed was me “thinking” or “reflecting” or “imagining” or, in my own way, “trying to heal”.

My schoolchum thought I was a flake (and probably still does), but I’m perfectly content to be called “interested in many things.”  It’s true!  I am interested in many things!  I’ll shout it proudly!

When I’m slammed for being ‘intense’ in the future, I’ll translate it internally as a complement that I’m passionate, smart and/or focused.  I’m comfortable with any of those three descriptors.

And that’s the point:  when we can re-label ourselves in a more positive light, we feel better about ourselves and whatever we’re doing.  Our quirks become ‘features’.  Our ‘secret shame’ becomes a ‘hidden strength’.  THAT’s the power of words.  We can wield words to heal ourselves.

Try it yourself:  see how transformational it is to identify the negative labels you’ve internalized, to exorcise them and to transform them into more helpful, pleasant entities:

1.  write down ten negative labels you recall from childhood.

2.  convert these negative words into more helpful interpretations of your behavior.

Bonus activity:  post your ‘golden words’ places you will see them.

What about you?  What unhelpful labels have you been branded?  What’s a different way of looking at them?  What happens when you re-frame these negative words?

***

For more, check out my book “GET OVER It:   Overcome Regret, Disappointment and Past Mistakes”.  Available here for only $3.99:  http://bit.ly/GetOverItNow

***

Want to re-publish this article? Go for it – just include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/ .

By Midwich Cuckoo [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

Why Add Structure to Your Schedule?

* To reduce stress, guilt and frustration

Have you ever frittered away a morning (or a day or a week) trying to choose what, of the available million options, you should do?  The stress, guilt and frustration of this kind of indecision isn’t pleasant.  Structure gets rid of all that by pre-deciding how you’re going to spend a given time period.

* To waste less time

A structured approach means you’ll spend more time actually doing the things you want to be doing…and less time procrastinating or agonizing over options.

* To be more creative

Structure creates the time, space and opportunity to go ahead and use your talents.  The more you use your talents, the more creativity you will unleash.

*****

How to Add Structure to your Schedule

Below are some options for adding structure to your schedule.  Review this list and see what appeals the most.  Which of the following options is apt to work well, given your unique circumstances?  Commit to try it for at least seven days – and ideally thirty.   Thirty days is the recommended target to cement effective practices as long-term habits.

Option 1:  Daily Morning Decision

Upon waking, first thing each morning, set a timer for five minutes.  Use this time period to decide which talents or projects you’d like to pursue during the day.   Pick one thing to focus on during the morning.  Would you like to focus on that during the afternoon also or would you prefer to shift focus to something else?  What about during the evening?  Before the timer goes off, make your decisions and write it down.  That’s your structure for the day.

Note that  this technique requires that you must make your decision as soon as you get up.  It doesn’t help to putter around for six hours and then think, ‘Hey, let’s break out the paints’.  Well you can…but in doing so you experience six hours of unnecessary guilt and pre-creative angst.

The advantage of this approach is that it is infinitely flexible.  You can work on your novel this morning, your business plan this afternoon and practice your trombone after dinner.  Tomorrow you might get up and decide to spend the entire day felting fabric.

This technique is guaranteed to thwart needless procrastination — the kind of procrastination that looks like indecision or paralysis (and that feels like hell).

It’s also a way of sidestepping perfectionism.  There’s no benefit (and plenty of costs) to agonizing over what to do for longer than five minutes.  Whatever you decide to do before the timer goes off is ‘good enough‘.

Option 2:  Pre-plan your Week

Make a fifteen minute appointment with yourself for first thing Monday morning.  (You may wish to set a timer to keep your planning restricted to only 15 minutes).  Sketch out what you’d like to accomplish during the week.  Bearing in mind your existing responsibilities — work, domestic, relationship, health, etc. — find blocks of time for your most important projects and talents.

Caution:  avoid over-scheduling yourself.  Leave some breathing room.  The goal here is not to plan activities for every moment of your entire week.  The purpose here is to schedule time to do what’s important to you.

The trick is that you must actually keep the appointments you’ve made with yourself.  If someone wants to interfere with the time you’ve selected, you can defer and demure, politely and in full integrity by saying you have a previous appointment scheduled at that time.

To further ensure you keep you creative appointments, be sure to remove potential distractions —  turn off your phone, unplug your internet connection, close the door and focus on the task at hand.

One advantage of this technique is that it allows you to arrange a more balanced week for yourself:  you can accommodate your creative projects in the context of other life domains.

Option 3:  Quotas

If the notion of actually scheduling specific times to do specific things repels you, consider using quotas, instead.  Rather than assigning specific activities to specific times,  simply decide what tasks you want to complete during the week.  It doesn’t matter when you do them, as long as they get done. These might include  regularly recurring quotas (e.g. write X pages or Y articles, make Z  necklaces, spend at least X hours in the studio, etc) plus unique tasks for that particular week (e.g. purchase needed supplies, submit slides to that competition, etc.)

The advantage here is that your week is infinitely flexible.   It really doesn’t matter when you do the things on your list, so long as they get done.  If you so desired, you could do nothing all week, then pull an all-nighter on Thursday to complete everything.

If you’re the kind of person who likes to ‘keep ahead’, you may well find yourself exceeding your quotas, which can be quite satisfying.  The caution is that you don’t become a workaholic — addicted to that groove of getting more and more done.  It’s important to build in some regular playtime…or your creativity, well-being and relationships may suffer.

*****

Activity: Pick one of the three options and try it for the next month. Monitor your productivity and general level of satisfaction.

***

Want more tips and techniques for getting things done? Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here for only $3.99: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

***

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

By Moyan Brenn from Anzio, Italy (Meditation) [CC BY 2.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Why Meditate?

* to improve your focus

Meditation is basically training your mind to ignore distracting thoughts and to focus on the task at hand.  If distractions are a challenge for you, meditation can help you overcome them.

* to be more creative

The more you can focus your mind, the more you can marshal your thoughts and channel them in innovative ways.

* to ease your mind

Meditation is a well established remedy for low mood, depression and anxiety.

* to reduce stress

Let’s face it.  Being a DaVinci can be stressful.  Managing your many talents, projects, tasks and ideas can be overwhelming.  Meditation is a proven stress-buster.

* to be healthier

The physiological benefits of meditation are well documented and profound.  Basically every bodily system functions better when you meditate regularly.

* to be happier

Research has proven that people who meditate are happier than those who don’t.

* to be spiritual

Since the dawn of religion, meditation has been a spiritual practice that has brought solace, comfort and meaning to its practitioners.

The Meditation Myth

So given all the potential benefits of meditation, what often stops people from giving it a whirl is the misconception that meditation requires grueling (and inconvenient) 20 – 60 minute sessions — or six months in an ashram.  The truth is that you can derive all the psychological, physiological and creative benefits of meditation through very brief (2 -3 minute) sessions, sprinkled through your day.

In fact, according to meditation guru Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, it’s better to aim for more frequent very short  (2-3 minute) sessions than fewer longer sessions.

For DaVincis, this works very well:  we’ve got a lot going on.  It’s easy enough to take a 2-3 minute meditation break when we shift gears or between tasks.

Meditation Basics

The basic concept is to devote some time to quieting your mind. There is no wrong way to meditate.  Avoid beating yourself up if your mind drifts or ideas pop up when you’re meditating. Whatever happens during your meditation period is perfect.

There are a thousand different ways to meditate.  What follows are a sampling of nine basic mediation techniques.

Activity: Try one of the following meditation techniques for a week.  See how it goes.  Then try another for the next week.  Over time, you’ll find out what works best for you, under what circumstances.

9 Meditation Techniques

1. Set a timer for 2 or 3 minutes.  Sit upright.  Close your eyes and focus on your breathing.  Follow the air entering and leaving your body.  When your attention drifts, gently bring it back to your breathing.

2. Set a timer for 2 or 3 minutes.  Sit upright and close your eyes. Select a word to repeat to yourself (e.g. ‘peace’ or ‘love’ or ‘joy’ or ‘om’).  When your attention drifts, gently bring it back to your focus word.

3. Select an image on which to concentrate — for example, a beautiful landscape.  Set a timer for 2 or 3 minutes.  Sit upright in front of your chosen image and focus on it. When your attention drifts, gently bring it back to the image.

4.  Set a timer for 2 or 3 minutes.  Sit upright and close your eyes. Try to clear your mind completely.  As thoughts arise, label them as ‘thinking thinking’ or ‘judging judging’ or ‘obsessing obsessing’ and allow them to pass by – like clouds pass through the sky.

5.  Set a timer for 2 or 3 minutes.  Sit upright and close your eyes. Ask ‘What do I need to know?”, quiet your mind and listen attentively for an answer.

6.  Light a candle.  Set a timer for 2 or 3 minutes.  Sit upright and focus on the candle flame.  As thoughts occur to you, gently push them aside and re-focus on the candle flame.

7.  Set a timer for 10 minutes.  Walk slowly and purposefully, putting each foot down slowly and carefully.  Direct your attention to your movement.  When other ideas intervene, push them gently aside and re-focus on your steps.

8.  Set a timer for 20 minutes. Lie down in a comfortable position.  Direct your attention to your left foot.  Slowly move your attention to your left ankle for a moment or two. Slowly shift your focus to your left shin, then later your left knee and eventually your left thigh.  Repeat with your right leg.  Continue the process, moving your attention slowly up through your torso, down each arm, up your neck and through your face and head.

9.  Go to the library and choose some ‘guided meditation’ CDs to try.

Recommended Resources

If you’d like to learn more about meditation, here are some wonderful books:

Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn

Lovingkindness by Sharon Salzberg

Joy of Living by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche

Peace is in Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh, Arnold Kotler and H.H. The Dalai Lama

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If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

Vincent Le Moign [CC BY 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

1.  Manage your expectations.

Disappointments arise when our expectations for a creative project differ from the apparent results.  Yes, it’s important to ‘dream the dream’…while not getting caught up in how, exactly, the dream unfolds.  Many paths lead to your creative goals…to the extent that you can allow them.  If you are overly dependent on things happening in a particular way, you may be setting yourself up for heartbreak.  Yes, you want an agent to sign you…and there are  a thousand ways that can happen.  It doesn’t help if you lock onto one and only one path to get there.

2.  Focus on the process, not the product(s) or end point(s).

You have little control over much in the creative world…except for your own actions.  You can’t control trends or random acts of God.  Much as you might like to do so, you can’t control others’ reactions or decisions.  About all you can do is to keep creating, keep producing and keep taking steps to advance your work — regardless of what’s happening around you (or what seems to be happening to you).

3.  Realize that you don’t have the ‘Big Picture’.

Things just ‘are’.  Labels don’t help. Any given event could be ‘good’, ‘bad’ or ‘indifferent’…and it’s pretty much impossible to accurately determine which it is.  For example, let’s say a gallery says ‘yes’ to exhibiting your work.  That seems ‘good’, right?  Now imagine that there’s a fire in the gallery and a lot of work your work is lost.  Now your exhibition seems ‘bad’, right?  But wait — because of the fire, let’s say that you now get a lot of press and new commissions…well then the original ill-fated exhibition seems ‘good’.  But what if you can’t handle your new-found fame, or you get swindled by unscrupulous financial managers or…you get the idea.

Often ‘disappointments’ are really ‘blessings in disguise’ when viewed from a bigger perspective or a longer time frame.

4.  You are not alone.

Every creative person experiences disappointments.  Check out the biography of your creative heroes — it’s instructive to see what disappointments they overcame on their way to success.

5.  What lessons can be learned from the experience?

That being said, what can you do when you find yourself feeling overly disappointed?  One important step is to ask what lessons can be learned from whatever happened.  Is there anything you might wish to do differently in the future? Proceed accordingly.

If, however, you can’t see any apparent lessons in what happened, then carry on as you were…and pay attention.  If you notice the same pattern repeating itself, you’re missing something.  Dig deeper.  What do these repeated disappointments have in common?

6.  What alternatives are there for proceeding?

Whenever disappointments arise, you have options.  You can try again.   You can give up.  You can try doing the same thing a different way.  You can try something completely new.  What makes sense under the circumstances?  Try not to let your ego decide:  What does your gut say?

7.  Retell your story.

When looking back at a disappointment, you have a choice about how you tell what happened.  You can tell a tale of woe…or you can spin it more positively.  You can bore people by chronicling how, exactly, you were victimized…and by whom. Or you can find the funny in it.  Or the inspiration.  The producer said ‘no’ can become a side-splitting monologue…or the seeds of a production company of your own…or a helpful workshop for others.  What story would you like to be telling about what happened? “I failed” or “I learned”?  If you’d like more information about how, exactly, to do this, try Martha Beck’s chapter on ‘Truth’ in her book, The Joy Diet.

8.  Put the past in the past.

That was then.  It’s over.  If you find yourself feeling stuck in the past, take steps to change that.

9. Move on.

The most important thing is to avoid getting stuck.  Yes, you’ve had a disappointment.  Be kind to yourself…and move on.  If you need professional help to do so, get it.  If you don’t know where to start, try here.

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Activity: Think of a recent creative disappointment you experienced.  How did you react?  Have you moved on?  If not, review and apply steps #1 – #9.

Activity: Think about a particular creative goal you have right now.  Brainstorm (at least) ten different ways it could happen.

Activity: Do you have a past disappointment that still hurts?  Rewrite that story.  What’s a non-victim version of what happened?  What did you learn?  Can you view what happened through a comic lens?  What if you were to use what happened as inspiration for something positive — what would that story be like?  Write AT LEAST one new version of what happened.  In your mind, replace your former version of what happened with the new one.

Activity: Select a creative hero and research their biography.  What disappointments did they overcome?  Was there something they experienced that seemed ‘bad’ at first…but turned out to be a blessing in disguise?

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For more ideas, check out my book “GET OVER It:   Overcome Regret, Disappointment and Past Mistakes”.  Available here:  http://bit.ly/GetOverItNow

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In the comment box below, please tell us about your experiences with creative disappointments — how did you get over them?

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If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

Richard Webb / Open road, B6355, via commons.wikimedia.org

The first week on a major projects is like love — exciting and new.   Your motivation is sky high.  Maybe the second week too.  But if you’re working on a  major project over a long period of time, you are likely to find your motivation flagging at some point.  It can be difficult to chip away at a major opus for an extended period of time.  Especially when it’s hard to see much progress.  “What’s the point?” we may wail.  “I’ve been working diligently on my novel all year but it’ll be years before it’s published.”  Here’s are some proven ways to stay motivated on long-term major projects:

Tip #1:  Set Smaller Goals

It will take a while before you can check off a major project like ‘Write Opera’ on your To Do list.  It can be demoralizing looking at ‘Write Opera’ for weeks or months or years as it fades on your white board.  But what if your goal was ‘write at least one song a week’ or ‘devote at least two hours of composing per day’.  Rather than thinking about the end product of your major project — which might be years away — you can boost your motivation by focusing on what you can do in the short-term.

Note that you need to pick manageable, doable regular goals that fit your particular situation — something that’s intrinsically motivating to you.  Some people work best using quotas – targeting a particular task each day or week (e.g. I will develop and test at least three new recipes every week).  For others, it’s better to assign a minimum time period devoted to a particular activity. (e.g. I will practice piano at least an hour a day, at least five days a week).

Note that these goals use the phrase ‘at least’.  This is a way of delineating the minimum you reasonably expect to accomplish, while still inviting you to do more should you feel called to do so.  The purpose here is to stay motivated to meet (or exceed) your goals consistently over time — so you can maintain your motivation and make real, steady progress on your major project.

Tip #2:  Reward Yourself

Allow yourself a pleasant treat for every day or week you keep to your gameplan.  It doesn’t have to cost money.  It might be something like ‘go to the beach and read’ or ‘call a friend’.  Go ahead and generate a list of ‘treats’ you enjoy that fit your budget.  Now schedule them into your week, contingent on accomplishing your small goals for that week. This way, you’ll build motivation into your daily or weekly activities.

The trick here is to actually reward  yourself for doing what you set out to do that week.  And every week.  That’s an order.  If you skip the treats you’ve earned, your motivation will wither.

Tip #3:  Mark Milestones

If your major project is to ‘become a working actor’, for example, there are a lot of milestones you can identify along the way.  To the extent that you acknowledge each milestone you accomplish, the path towards your goal will be more motivating.  For example, you could earn  treats for ‘taking acting classes’, for ‘volunteering on student films’, for ‘volunteering in stage plays’, for ‘creating your reel’, for ‘querying at least five agents or managers per week’, for ‘signing with an agent or manager’, for going on at least three auditions per week’, for ‘getting a callback’ and for ‘being hired for a gig’.

Again, the trick here is to actually reward yourself for your accomplishments along the way — each time you reach or complete a milestone.  This might be difficult for those who are perfectionists or particularly driven or otherwise hard on themselves.  But without truly acknowledging and rewarding your milestones, your motivation will suffer, your progress will slow and your major project will become unpleasant, joyless and jeopardized.

Tip # 4:  Use what has motivated you in the past.

Barbara Sher advocates this technique.  Ask how have you motivated yourself on major projects in the past?  Whoever you are, you’ve accomplished some kind of long term project.  Maybe you graduated school.  Perhaps you lost some weight or learned a new skill.  Whatever you did then to stay motivated or to boost your motivation, how can you apply it to your current major project?

Some of us enjoy crossing things off our To Do list.  I’ve known University professors who gave themselves gold star stickers for every hour spent writing.  Jerry Seinfeld marks an ‘X’ on his calendar for every day he writes a joke.  His motivation comes from a fervent desire to keep the chain on ‘X’s’ intact for as long as possible — to never break the chain.

Tip #5:  Keep your Eyes on the Prize

Sometimes we need to remind ourselves about the big picture:  what are we really up to – and why are we tackling this major project anyway?

It’s also helpful to ask what practices or habits will increase your motivation over time?  Some people like making collages or collecting relevant objects into erstwhile ‘shrines’ that represent their project, then having them handy as a visual reminder.  Others like composing songs as an auditory prompt.  What would work for you?  What would you enjoy making and having handy?

Some enjoy meditating on the big picture, visualizing a successful outcome in great detail, whatever the major project might be – a book, an opera or a life as a working actor.

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Activity: Pick a major project.  Something you’d like to work towards, over the long term.
1.  What are reasonable daily or weekly goals you could reasonably accomplish on this major project?
2.  How could you reward yourself for accomplishing these small goals?   Pick things that you really enjoy, that you really will do, that fit in your budget and lifestyle.
3.  How have you motivated yourself on long-term major projects in the past? What practices or habits have increased or sustained your motivation?
4.  How can you apply those techniques to your current major project?

Activity: Take five minutes to visualize your long-term major project.  Imagine a successful outcome, in great detail.

Activity: Create something to represent your overall major project – it could be a collection of objects or a collage or a song or something else.  What would work for you?  What would you enjoy making and having handy? Whatever you create, keep it near you to keep yourself focused on your overall project.

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For more, check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

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If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

By Matthew Bargo [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC BY-SA 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

1. Use logic.  Convince yourself.

Write a list, as fast as you can:  “At Least Ten Reasons Why I Should Start”.  Typically, this is enough of a nudge to get unstuck and overcome procrastination.

Bonus: if you write down your most motivating reasons, you can review it daily and/or whenever you need a boost to get going.  Gather together inspirational reminders to make getting started easy for you.

2. Pick the best time to start.

Follow your natural body rhythms to optimize your chances.  If you’re a morning person, then it’s best to start first thing. If you’re a night owl, getting started is easier after dark.

If your project is ongoing, establish a habit of tackling it regularly, during your best, most productive times.

3. Reduce distractions.

Take a moment to list all the things you know interfere with getting started…or with making progress…or the things that are keeping you stuck.  The goal here is to identify those things that are contributing to your procrastination — and to reduce or eliminate them. What interrupts your flow?  (The telephone?  The kids?  Your email inbox?  The siren call of the internet? The laundry?  Your noisy neighbors?  Thoughts about other projects?)

For each, ask yourself how you could combat this distraction?   For example, if you keep getting distracted by web surfing, you could disconnect your internet connection during your focused work time.   Devise solutions to overcome the distractions to which you’re most susceptible.

4. Promise yourself a reward.

Give yourself a gift for getting unstuck and getting started.  A special meal, a nap, a walk, a fun outing – whatever would be real treat for you today.

Here’s the tricky bit:  you MUST actually reward yourself for overcoming your procrastination.

5. Prepare yourself mentally.

When you find yourself stuck or procrastinating, take a moment to clear your mind.  Close your eyes and think of nothing for five minutes.  Now think of what you want to do and why.  Why is it important to you?  Spend a few minutes reminding yourself of why you’re doing this.  Assuming it’s still important to you, resolve to do it.

Now open your eyes and go do it.

6. Make a public commitment to start.

You could phone or text a creative buddy.  You could email a friend or post a notice on your Facebook wall or send a tweet via Twitter. Whatever your preferred means of communication, the idea is to announce your intention to do something.  Then do it.  Then report on your progress.  Public pressure is a great way to get unstuck, to overcome procrastination and to get started.

For example, creativity guru Julia Cameron makes it a practice to phone a creative buddy to say she’s ‘going to the keys’.  After she spends some time at the piano, she phones back to say she did what she set out to do.  (If her friend’s not there, she leaves a message on her voice mail).

7. Set a timer for ten minutes.

Whatever you get done during that period is ‘enough’.  It doesn’t seem like ten minutes would make a difference, but it does.  Starting is starting.  There’s something about a timer that forces most of us to take action now.  Ten minutes effort will get the ball rolling – and that’s what we’re after.

Bonus: once you actually start, you’re apt to find that (a) the task doesn’t take nearly as long as you thought and/or (b) you want to keep going after the timer buzzes.

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If you’ve tried all these seven steps and you’re still stuck, it’s time to dig deeper.  There’s something else going on that you must overcome before you can get started.

Ask yourself:  what’s REALLY interfering with my getting started?  Why am I stuck?  Why am I procrastinating?  Why am I not doing this thing I in fact want to do?  Identify what’s really going on and address it.

It could be FEAR.  Fear of failure, fear of success or anxiety about the future.  Here, here and here are some articles that explore fear in more depth.

It might be that you are a perfectionist with unreasonably high expectations.  Here are some ideas to address perfectionistic tendencies.

You could be hampered by things in the past.  Are you experiencing residual pain, guilt, disappointments or regrets? That ‘coulda woulda shoulda’ feeling?  Here are some approaches to overcoming your past.

Are you depressed?  If your energy is very low and you’re mind is plagued with negative thoughts like ‘what’s the point?, you need support.  Call a friend, join an online support group and/or seek professional counseling.

Activity: What’s something you’d like to do today?  Where are you stuck?  On what are you procrastinating?  Use one or more of these seven techniques to get started.

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What works for you? When you’re stuck, how do you get started?  We’d love to hear from you in the comment box below.

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Want more tips and techniques for getting things done? Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in paperback and eBook fomats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

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If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

The DaVinci Decluttering Method is designed to do precisely that:

Step One:  Abandon guilt.

Recognize that clutter is often a natural byproduct of being a multi-talented person.  It’s nothing to be ashamed of.  Please avoid beating yourself up about the state of your creative workspace.  If, however, clutter is interfering with your talents (and happiness), it’s time to move to Step Two.

Step Two:  Verify your Motivation

It’s impossible to declutter without the proper motivation.   Decluttering can be daunting.  It can be a lot of physical work…and is often surprisingly emotional.  The clutter we collect reflects and represents our past memories, our present lives as well as our future plans and dreams.  (Those aren’t a bunch of rocks — they’re souvenirs from traveling through 51 countries.  Those may look like bits of broken pottery, but really they are a future mosaic, etc.).

You can’t declutter because you think you ‘should’ do so.  You can only declutter if you’re really ready to change.  The DaVinci Decluttering Method addresses this in two ways — first, by having you create a clear, pleasing, innovative alternative to your current cluttered space and second by addressing any underlying issues contributing to the present mess.

First, imagine your perfect creative workspace.  If you could wave a magic wand and instantly transform your current  room into the studio of your dreams, what would it be like?  Be detailed:  what sights, sounds, textures and scents do you envision?  What would you really love to have in this space, if only it wasn’t so selfish/silly/expensive? How would this kind of ideal workspace feel?  What would be the impact on your creative work?

Second, look around at your present circumstances.  What is your clutter costing you, in terms of time, energy, space and productivity?

Third, and most important:  Are you ready to change?  Are you willing to give up some of what’s around you?  Are you really ready to shift things away from their current state and towards your dream workspace?  If yes, read on.  If no, it’s not time to tackle your decluttering yet.  Avoid forcing yourself to take action now…you’re unlikely to succeed and apt to feel guilty, stressed and cross with yourself.  (When you are ready, come on back).

Step Three:  Investigate New Options

If your creative workspace isn’t working well for you, it’s helpful to consider some alternatives.  Seek inspiration online.  For example here are dozens of photos of artists’ studios.

Visit an office supply store, an organizational aid shop and also your favorite art supply warehouse.  Look for new ways to organize your supplies, materials, products and ideas.  For example, if you’re a visual organizer and/or more of a ‘piler’ than a ‘filer’, you can replace your unused, empty filing cabinet with a ‘paper organizer’ — stacks of cubbies into which you can pile your relevant projects.  On the other hand, if your piles are too distracting, you may need to hide them:  consider using cupboards or bookshelves attached with opaque doors.

Flip through the IKEA catalog — odds are high that those clever Scandinavians have devised solutions to your particular organizational challenges.

Incorporate the ideas that appeal the most into your ‘dream workspace’ plan.

Step Four:  Explore What’s Really Going On

If you’re reading this article, you are probably a creative person with a lot of talents who is seeking creative solutions to clutter.  If it was just a matter of buying some organization aids and putting things into piles called “Keep”, “Donate”, “Sell” or “Toss”, you would have done it already.

So why haven’t you?  Because this is not just random ‘stuff’.  This is your stuff — each piece of clutter has its own history, purpose and emotional baggage.  You need to understand what underlies your clutter problem, before you can declutter effectively.

(a) Why is this clutter here?

You might know already.  Maybe you have difficulty organizing your paperwork and need solutions for that.  Perhaps you’re clinging to past chapters of your life…and/or are fearful of the future.  It might be that you have experienced scarcity (or fear of lack) and so have difficulty getting rid of things.  Maybe you’re a shopaholic.  Perhaps, like me, you can’t walk into an art or craft supply place without spending at least $200.   (Damn the siren call of the bead aisle!)  It could be that you have a tendency to start projects, then abandon them before their done.  Off the top of your head, what do you suspect is contributing to your clutter?

(b) Take a random survey of your clutter.  Be like an archeologist surveying a new dig.  What’s there?  Are there items representing the past?  Are there disorganized supplies?  Random papers?  Half-done projects?  Make a list of the different kinds of clutter you have.

If this jives with your answers to (a), yay!  You’re on the way to a clutter-free path.  For each clutter problem you’ve detected, devise relevant solutions.   For example, if you have a bunch of supplies that need organizing, then you could pull them out and use some of the ideas you collected from Step Three to corral them.  Then look at what’s left in your clutter pile and repeat the process.

If you’re finding new issues, yay!  You’re getting closer to the answers that will work for you.  Identify what’s going on and, for each, devise solutions.

If you’re still in the dark, take a step back and ask again:  what is going on here?  Listen to your gut.  If you focus long enough, you should be rewarded with an epiphany or two. “Oh!  I can’t keep my financial papers in order because I’m repulsed by crass, clerical monetary matters — it’s not who I am.”  OR  “I’m an artist!  My workspace is supposed to crazy and chaotic!  It feels wrong to be tidy.” OR “I can’t get rid of those cassettes I never listen to because they represent the happiest time of my life.” If you find yourself getting emotional, you’ve hit it:  the crux of the matter.  Congratulations!  You’re there.  This is the critical question:  Which is more important to you?  Your current situation (including the underlying beliefs) or your vision of your wonderful new workspace?  If you’re ready to let go of what’s been keeping you stuck in clutter, proceed to Step Five. If  not, you’re not ready yet. Take your time and come on back when you are.

Step Five:  Pick a Decluttering Strategy that will Work for You

Now that you know what’s really going on…and have solutions to the different aspects of your clutter problems, the decluttering process should be much,  much easier.

Just a few more choices to make:  Will it be easier for you to tackle a little bit at a time?  Or do you need more of a radical Shock & Awe approach to make a difference?    If the latter seems overwhelming, then go at it, slowly but surely, in bite sized bits. If you think you need to take more drastic action, then do it all at once.  (Details below).

Whether fast or slow, the basic process is to go through your ALL things and sort them.  Use the categories that will work for you.  For example:

By action:  “Keep”, “Sell”, “Donate”, “Toss”

By chronology:  “Past” “Present” “Future” — or “Yesterday”  “Today”  “Tomorrow”

By emotion:  “Hate it”  “Like it”  “Love it”

By talent:  “Painting”  “Welding”  “Banjo”  “Songwriting”

By function:  “Inspiration”  “Supplies”  “Products”  “Business Materials”

By clutter problem:  “Papers to organize”  “Supplies to organize”  “Items representing my Past”  “Half-done projects”

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If you opt for the Radical Shock & Awe Decluttering, you’d first go through the preceding steps of the DaVinci Decluttering Method.  When you’re ready to proceed, remove everything from your creative workspace — the furniture, the decor, the supplies, the papers — everything.  Put it anywhere else.

Start with a clean slate.  Begin by creating as much of your dream workspace as possible — paint and decorate it the way you want.

Install the minimum necessary furniture — a place to work plus items to hold your supplies for each of your key talents.  If you have furniture pieces already that work well, keep them.  If they don’t, sell them or donate them and invest in other furniture that will better suit your needs.  If cost is an issue, try CraigsList for bargains.   Note:  you’re not trying to fill the space.  You’re just putting in a few key building blocks — the essentials.  Later, you’ll probably be adding more organizational aids, as you figure them out.  How does your space feel?  If delightful, it’s time to move on.  If not, what adjustments can you make to create a more pleasant space?

Once you’re happy to be in your creative workspace, it’ll be so much easier to sort through your stuff.  Start anywhere.  Pick a box or pile and go through the contents.  Sort it into piles that work for you. Toss, donate or sell what you don’t need or want.  Organize and place what you want to keep.

Before you know it, you’ll be enjoying you’re new, clutter-free space.

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What about you?  Please use the comment box below to share your decluttering tips and stories.

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Want more tips and techniques for getting things done? Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in paperback and eBook fomats: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

*****

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The DaVinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

1. Wasted time and energy.

If your space isn’t organized, you’re losing time and energy unnecessarily.  Ever had trouble locating an important piece of paper or a needed tool or your keys among the clutter?  If you can’t find what you need when you need it, you’re squandering time and energy looking for it. Your disorganization is hurting you.  Get organized to find time and to get energized.

2. Increased distractions.

It’s hard to write that Broadway musical if your workspace is surrounded by ‘to do’ piles or random bits of flotsam.  They will tempt you to leave the task at hand just because they are there, in front of you.  “Oh, this will only take a minute,” you may rationalize.  “I’ll just make this quick phone call and then that’ll be done and I won’t have to think about it.”  Odds are, however, that your phone call will take more than a minute…and will trigger ideas of other ‘quick things’ that require attention…all at the expense of the time and energy you could be devoting to your opus. Disorganization breeds distractions.

3. Built-in procrastination.

By definition, it is harder to get going on something in a disorganized space.  Rather than just sitting down and designing your new fashion line, you first have to locate your desk, clear your desk of the clutter, find your sketchbook, gather your pencils, locate your notes or clippings or whatever else you need.  By the time you’re ready to actually create, it’s time for lunch.  “Okay, no problem,” you think.  “I’ll just have a quick bite and then I’ll be raring to go.”  But you know as well as I do that lunch time will lead into laundry time will lead into “Oh I really should walk the dog before I get started” or “I better surf the ‘net for a bit to make sure I haven’t missed any late breaking fashion news – it might affect my design” and poof!  It’s dinner time and you’re thinking you might as well wait until tomorrow when you can make a fresh start first thing in the morning.  Whereas, if your space was organized in the first place, you’d have completed a whole day of designing already. Disorganization breeds procrastination.

4. Reduced productivity.

This is implicit in points 1 to 3:  If you’re wasting time, you’re not getting done what you wanted to get done.  Ditto if you’re being distracted by whatever’s in front of you.  If you haven’t set things up so that what’s needed is easily at hand when you need it, your disorganization is making things more difficult for yourself then they need to be.  You need to get organized to get more done.

5. Reduced creativity.

Some people resist order because they fear, erroneously, that organization will stifle their creativity.  The opposite is true:  if you organize and contain the chaos and clutter, you’ll be creating a clear and open space within which you will be much more creative.  It’s the difference between having a clean, fresh sketchbook to use…or one that’s already half-filled with shopping lists and recipes and newspaper articles and phone numbers and computer passwords.  Sure, there might be some sources of inspiration in there, but wouldn’t you rather dip into the creative well in your head?  Get organized and create more.

6. Unnecessary stress.

It’s frustrating to spend twenty minutes looking for your notebook.  It’s nerve-wracking to be surrounded by piles of things ‘to do’.  Disorganization can overshadow and undermine any accomplishments you’re making. It can be demoralizing and demotivating.   It can foster feelings of guilt and hopelessness.  “What’s the point of doing X?  There’s still Y, Z and the rest of the alphabet piled here in my office!”  Get organized to reduce stress and increased your motivation.  You’ll feel so much better.  You’re feel relief.

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You are a multi-talented person.  You have many ideas and projects on the go. Do yourself a favor and get organized.  You’ll get more done and you’ll be more creative – while avoiding distractions, procrastination and stress.

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Activity: How calm do you feel in your space?  How easy is it for you to find what you need when you need it?  How does the level or organization in your space affect you?  Where might there be room for improvement in how your space is organized?

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Tell us about your organization tips – what’s worked well for you?  What hasn’t?  What suggestions do you have for other multi-talented people in how to get organized?

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Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in paperback or eBook format: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

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Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

By Joakim Berndes [CC BY-SA 4.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], from Wikimedia Commons

You’ll thank yourself, too.   By taking short breaks

* you’ll keep your energy higher and avoid fatigue

* you’ll avoid procrastination

* you’ll maintain clearer focus and avoid distractions more easily

* you’ll probably experience some ‘aha’ ideas when you step away from your project momentarily

* you’ll get more done

* you’ll find yourself less stressed and healthier

So what’s the catch?  There must be a catch.  Actually there are two.

Catch # 1:

For these mini-breaks to have the desired effect, you need to do them every hour of focused activity and you need to restrict them to 5 – 10 minutes maximum.  You’ll need to set a timer and otherwise manage yourself to maintain this new rhythm:  50 – 55 minutes of work followed by 5 – 10 minutes break.  Repeat.  This means that you really must pause work when the timer goes off – even if things are really humming for you.  And you really must end your break when the timer goes off or else you’re just defeating the purpose of the break you’re taking.

Catch # 2:

There are ‘good breaks’ and ‘not-so-good breaks’.  ‘Good breaks’ include things like stretching, meditating, mindful eating, physical activity (yoga, jumping jacks, crunches or walking around the block), petting the dog, listening to a great song or simply lying down and resting your brain briefly.   Things that are pleasant, peaceful and a change from your major activity are ideal – and this will be unique to you and the task at hand.  Writers need to take a break from sitting at the keyboard whereas dancers need to rest their bodies.  Musicians may need some quiet time whereas actors may need to do the hokey-pokey.

‘Not-so-good breaks’ include things like shoveling unhealthy food into your gullet while maniacally surfing the ‘net while trimming your toenails.  Any multi-tasking, any stressful activity (like calling the cable company) or things difficult to stop after just five minutes (e.g. napping or computer Scrabble or chatting with a friend) should be avoided.  Again, this is highly individualized.

Activity #1: Prepare for your Mini-Breaks

You know what is a ‘good break’ for you.  Make a list of ten pleasant, healthy things you could do as a 5 – 10 minute treat between blocks of focused activity.

Make a list of ten things that would be ‘not so good breaks’ for you – things that are stressful or unhealthy or addictive i.e. likely to spill over into the next hour.

Activity #2: Try the Mini-Break Method

1.  Set a timer for 50 – 55 minutes.
2.  Do your focused activity. Avoid distractions.  (If you think of something that needs doing, write yourself a quick note and get back to what you were doing).
3. When your timer goes off, refer to your list of ‘Good Breaks’.   Pick one, set your timer for 5 – 10 minutes and do it.
4.  When your timer goes off, repeat steps 1 – 3.

It might take a bit of adjustment to find the right combination of timing and activities, but once you find what works for you, keep track of your progress and see if you experience the same results that so many of us have, using this method.

We’d like to hear about your experience with Mini-Breaks:  what ‘good breaks’ work well for you?  What doesn’t?  What benefits have you noticed?

*****

Want more tips and techniques on getting things done?  Check out my book  YOU CAN GET IT DONE:  Choose What to do, Plan, Start, Stay on Track, Overcome Obstacles, and Finish

Available here in paperback or eBook format: http://bit.ly/YouCanGetItDone

*****

If you’d like to share or publish this article, you may, if you include the author’s name, a link to this original post and the following text blurb:

Are you struggling with too many talents, skills, ideas? You may have The Da Vinci Dilemma! Find tools, fun quizzes, coaching, inspiration and solutions for multi-talented people at http://www.davincidilemma.com/.

image via commons.wikimedia.org

You are a busy person juggling many projects, ideas, and talents.  You’ve got a lot going on.  If you could choose, what kind of year would you like 2019 to be?

It’s up to you.  If you wish, you can orchestrate the upcoming year around whatever is important to you at this point in your life.

What is your number one priority?  What kind of tone would you like to set for the New Year?  If you gave 2019 a theme, what would it be?