Day2Day Madness

Dude, you lost us, can you just call it something cool like "The Ninja Report" or something?-How I Met Your Mother

2012-01-27T08:00:00.000-08:00

So this guy walks in to our department and starts talking to my boss about "the Ninja project". I thought either someone was a HIMYM fan or possibly just a huge duffis. It turns out actually we really do have a project going on for a company with Ninja in their name (Hence the capitalization. Check me out pretending I care about grammar and whatnot).

Ninja project, how awesome is that?

An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have.-Andy Warhol

2012-01-24T08:00:00.000-08:00

Dave: What'd you get in the mail?

Me: Oh! I don't know I didn't open the package yet. Probably it's just....

Dave: Oh! That stuff?

Me: Yeah. At least I didn't order anything else.

And this is actually what the packing label said when I opened the box.

That which is not good for the bee-hive cannot be good for the bees.-Marcus Aurelius

2012-01-20T08:00:00.000-08:00

Dave: It's the bees knees

Me: Do bees even have knees? I mean I know they have legs but do they bend?

Dave: I don't know but if they do they must be pretty cool.

One way to make sure crime doesn't pay would be to let the government run it.-Ronald Reagan

2012-01-18T08:00:00.000-08:00

Did I ever tell you the story of the time I was questioned by the FBI?

No?

Sweet!

So back when I worked on a military base (not naming the company or even the specific job but if you dig through old posts you can probably figure it out) we had some product disappear. Now one this was a large theft worth tens of thousands of dollars and two being on a military base everything is Federal.

There were actually two separate thefts which helped us narrow down the suspects. There were three people who had been around for both; the person running the closing shift, the employee working the closing shift, and the person opening the next day who discovered both thefts...me.

Now I knew I hadn't done it and I don't think the management ever seriously considered me a suspect but the MP's and the FBI had to do their jobs and question all the suspects.

I was asked to come to the Base Police headquarters to meet with the FBI agent in charge of the case for questioning. Let that sink in for a moment...

Like I said I hadn't done it, in fact I was the person who realised something was wrong but still I was just a leetle bit nervous.

When I arrived I expected to be taken to a scary little room with a two way mirror but either they didn't have those or they didn't really suspect me because the room I went to looked more like a meeting room in any office with a big table and seating for six or eight.

When I get nervous I tend to get a little giddy and make random jokes (as opposed to normal when I sarcastically make random jokes on purpose). So when the FBI agent introduced himself and flashed his credentials I started giggling and said, "Just like on tv!"

He'd been all serious up to that moment and I had a second to wish my mouth had consulted my brain before it just blurted things out but then he cracked a smile and responded in his own giddy voice, "I know! I'm actually pretty new and that's the first time I got to do that."

After that I wasn't nervous and the interview got less interesting (story wise).

We did eventually figure out who'd done it but I guess you'll just have to take my word for it that I was innocent.

A fine head of hair adds beauty to a good face, and terror to an ugly one.-Lycurgus

2012-01-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

Do you think hair stylists look forward to the part of the appointment where they get to blow dry your hair 'cause then they don't have to make conversation any more?

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.-Mark Twain

2012-01-16T08:00:00.000-08:00

So I'm heading back in to the work force today.

Not really a big deal. I've done it before.

But I am terrified.

Not of the job. Pffft I can do the job.

I'm scared that Fiona won't like me any more. Seriously how sad is that? Back when we were both working she only ever wanted Dave and would literally tell me, :Go away Mommy!" before closing the door in my face. Now that we've spent so much time together she wants to be around me and tells me she loves me.

Being home with her has been the best time of my life.

All things are difficult before they are easy.-Thomas Fuller

2012-01-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

Okay...

Weird question but how many comments can you all see on yesterdays post?

I ask because what I published, what shows if I go to the comments history, and what actually show if I look at the blog are all different.

Anyhow unless you are spam I tried to publish your comment. And it appears everyone besides me can see all of them so I guess that's not an issue.

Oh FYI after all my complaining I got a call yesterday afternoon. So as of Monday I return to the ranks of the employed.

Am I grumpy? I might be. But I think maybe sometimes it's misinterpreted.-Harrison Ford

2012-01-12T09:43:00.000-08:00

Here's what's been going on.

Twice in the last couple weeks.

Two times.

Count them, one, two.

Twice I've gone through multiple job interviews and been told I'm in the final candidates (in one case the guy even said he was leaning towards me) and in both cases they did not choose me. Btw the second one was after that other post about the two job leads, making this a third good job lead.

Now neither one was my dream job (though the first one paid really well) but it's so disappointing and frankly exhausting. All that pretending I'm a people person, which I am NOT. And waiting to hear one way or the other and not even getting a "sorry they chose someone else" phone call from the temp agency that set up the interview.

I am wiped out and at times a bit grumpy. And being grumpy gives me writers block.

There's the big secret of my blog. If I'm not posting regularly you can assume I'm sick or upset. But the good news is I'm cheering up. I've been writing posts the last few days, I didn't get around to posting them but still progress.

I drive with my knees. Otherwise, how can I put on my lipstick and talk on my phone?-Sharon Stone

2012-01-09T14:11:00.000-08:00

Sittin' around waitin' for the phone to ring.

Just sittin'

Don't want to vacuum 'cause I might miss the call (also I hate vacuuming but that's beside the point)

Stupid phone!

Ring already!.

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.-Buddha

2012-01-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

Dear "Friend" on Facebook,

Okay I ignore the duck face pictures, I ignore the inappropriate weekend photos you better hope your parents and/or employer never see. But I'm drawing the line at the picture of your kids first poop in the training potty.

No one wants to see a picture of poop and I'm willing to bet your kid will be less than pleased someday.

Sincerely,
Yeah my kids potty trained too, no one cares.

All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind.-Aristotle

2012-01-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

Sigh!

I had two promising job leads. One I was even a little excited about. However as things stand I won't be getting either one.

Sigh!

Moon hangs around a blade over my head and reminds me what to do before I'm dead.-Kidney Thieves, Before I'm Dead

2012-01-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

If you haven't seen the list of things I don't want to do before I die yet you simply must click on the hyperlink.

I must admit that I've done #10 and it was a miserable experience and as to #1 I can think of one or two friends I'd probably enjoy Vegas with though we'd be more likely to spend our time in nice restaurants drinking expensive wine than...ya know doing anything that needed to remain in Vegas.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.-Bill Vaughn

2012-01-03T08:00:00.000-08:00

Alright I got this from Leann.

Take the first sentence from the first post of each month of 2011. That’s your year in review.

January: New Years Eve Dani Style
February:I was just trying to eat a bowl of soup when...
March: Speech to the kitty
April: Dishing out a second helping of fruit cocktail to Fiona
May:Fiona and Dave were being goofy and making each other laugh.
June: Guess what this is? If you said deep fried lemon....man are you good as were these tasty fried treats.
July: Does this happen to any one else?
August: Conversation on Wednesday
September: Our niece K was over visiting.
October: Fiona and I made brownies the night before.
November: Once again Roses reminded me of something.
December: Once again Facebook confuses me.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind?-Auld Lang Syne

2011-12-27T08:00:00.000-08:00

Thoughts while listening to a banjo version of Auld Lang Syne (which by the way surprisingly rocks)

Lots of instruments can convey emotion.

A violin can emote like nobodies business.

A guitar can emote.

Ooooh a saxophone, now that can emote.

But for me no instrument really sells it like the bagpipes. I mean sure they aren't real versatile. You don't hear a lot of bagpipes in rock music, or Hip Hop, or Reggae, or Country (insert laughter at self here) but in their place bagpipes are totally awesome.

Anything your heart desires will come to you.- When you wish upon a star

2011-12-23T13:19:00.000-08:00

Alright so here's what's been going on. The week after Thanksgiving we went to Disneyland with P & A and their two kids. I had about a million post ideas that I completely forgot in the ensuing craziness, which I'll tell you about in a minute. But here's the short version...

Disneyland was fun. It's Disneyland what did you expect? Fiona rode the roller coasters and had a blast but for some reason is now afraid of the people dressed up as characters. If you ever get the chance to go to Disney (land or world) at Christmas time I recommend it.

And here's the most important part. My SIL bought us all hats (okay just the kids and me) and I wore them all day. I was unaware until we got home that there was photographic proof of this but ya know what, I don't care. I'm just a big ol' kid when I'm there. FYI they are Kermit ears though you can't tell from this picture.

Okay so then we came home and I was expecting to settle in to my routine and get all the Christmas stuff done when BAM. I get notification that I have no more unemployment benefits. This did not turn out to be the case but I spent the last couple weeks in a perpetual state of anxiety unsure if we could afford a tree or to buy any more gifts.

This week I found out yes I still have benefits at least for a while. There are two jobs I'm in the process of interviewing for and it looks like I have a good chance at getting offered one or both of them (fingers crossed). And Wednesday was Fiona's 4th birthday.

So now I can breathe and I'm finally getting excited about Christmas. Fiona and I just baked pumpkin cranberry muffins, next up is gingerbread, then those peanut butter ones with the Hershey's kiss on top. Tomorrow will be chocolate chip cookies and Dave's making a pecan pie. I'll make the pumpkin pie on Sunday morning and Dave's making dinner and of coarse there will be gifts and wine and all the usual holiday trappings.

I hope everyone has had as nice a week as I have. And I hope you have a great holiday (whatever kind you celebrate). If you're in Sacramento, come on over and have some cookies or muffins or eggnog.

Beauty is the bait which with delight allures man to enlarge his kind.-Socrates

2011-12-16T10:30:00.000-08:00

There are lots of reasons why I love Fiona but at the moment my favorite is this.

She tells me I look beautiful even when I don't really look that great. Seriously all I have to do is get dressed and brush my hair and Fiona will exclaim, "You look beautiful Mommy!" It's such an ego boost. Of coarse it may say something about my personal grooming recently but that's okay.

The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read.-Abraham Lincoln

2011-12-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

You know how sometimes on a Friday or Saturday night you rent some random movie just to have something to watch? (Or it could be a Tuesday, whatever) And most of the time when it's over you think, "Yeah that was pretty stupid." And then you move on with your life and don't think about it again.

I do that a lot.

But I also read. I love to read. If I don't have something to read I get grumpy. So I'm always looking for new books to read (you can only re read the ones you've got so many times ya know?). Unfortunately I have the same problem with books as I do with movies, most of them aren't very good. Out of every 20-25 book I read 1 will be good enough to keep around. That works out to 4 or 5 out of 100. Unlike movies I don't seem to be able to just move on. When I finish a book that isn't any good (oddly I rarely stop before I get to the end, it's like a car crash you can't look away from) I'm personally offended that the book did not entertain me. Perhaps this is because it takes longer to read books (Okay I might be able to read the whole Lord of the Rings faster than watching the directors cut of the movies but that's an exception) or because they cost more (though I buy a lot used) but mostly I think it's because I expect more of them.

To me movies are disposable books are meant to last.

I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty / I have whoozits and whatzis galore / You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty / But who cares? No big deal / I want more.-The Little Mermaid

2011-12-12T10:34:00.000-08:00

As I was giving Fiona a bath.

Fiona: (Holding up one of her mermaid toys) She even knows your name!

Me: Really?

Fiona: Uh hu!

Me: Okay. What's my name Ariel?

Ariel (as voiced by Fiona): Drama Queen!

Oh you better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why, Santa Claus is comming to town.-Santa Claus is coming to town

2011-12-11T10:44:00.000-08:00

Okay last weak was.....

See what happened....

I'll tell ya about it latter, honest, but every thing's okay now.

Christmas is still on.

2011-12-06T17:33:00.000-08:00

Quick update:

I was actually out of town last week so didn't have time to write anything. Then since we've been home I've been crazy busy (well ok the first day or two I was just lazy).

Now I've got a bit of a stomach bug and a job interview (such an AWESOME combo) and I think I've got a second one lined up (interview not stomach bug). So wish me luck, I always get the best post ideas when I'm bored at work.

I promise to sit down and write a real post (or 10) when I have a bit of time.

Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend that he is superior to the other.-Honore de Balzac

2011-12-01T08:00:00.000-08:00

Once again Facebook confuses me. For no good reason I was looking through the "people you might know" list. I see one that has 2 friends in common so I click to see who they are thinking at best it's probably someone I went to school with or maybe an old co-worker.

The two people I was already friends with were indeed old co-workers....from two different jobs. They are both friends with me and this third person being offered to me but not each other.

Weird right?

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.-Alfred Hitchcock

2011-11-30T08:00:00.000-08:00

Alright I've gotten some very odd recommendations from Amazon.com over the years. My two favorites are "You might like this CD of Danish Christmas chants because you said you own Appetite for Destruction" and "You might like this latex naughty nurse outfit because you said you own a blue Pyrex baking dish."

Now Netflix has joined the things that make you go hmmm brigade "You watched the Backyardigans so here are some witty British movies you might like."

Growing up, my dolls were doctors and on secret missions. I had Barbie Goes Rambo.-Zoe Saldana

2011-11-29T08:00:00.000-08:00

I like hotel rooms.

They're fake bedrooms.

They're like a game of let's pretend.

Like really big one room doll houses.

The public has always expected me to be a playboy, and a decent chap never lets his public down.-Errol Flynn

2011-11-28T08:00:00.000-08:00

Hey remember this?

Guess I dodged a bullet there.

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it - and sometimes three.-Heraclitus

2011-11-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

Fiona: Remember when you and Daddy got married?

Me: Vividly.

Fiona: I was too little to go.

Me: To say the least.