Day One And A Half

My Eurotrip Recap

2011-06-07T09:42:00.027-04:00

I'm still slowly piecing together my trip to Europe, even though I've been back for about two weeks now. So much happened, and there's so much to tell, but I'm still deciding what exactly I want to say to sum it all up.

This whole idea of traveling through Europe began sometime in the fall. When I was 22, I decided that every year I want to do something that is totally outside my comfort zone before my next birthday. I wanted to have a new and unique experience every year, so I am working toward a goal for at least part of the year. It's been a few years and I've stuck to this idea. This year, I chose Europe. I was going to go -- even if it meant traveling alone and experiencing it by myself. 2011 was the year of Europe, no excuses.

Last fall, when I decided that I was officially going to Europe regardless of any circumstance, I randomly logged into Facebook and saw one of my former college roommates' Facebook status about how she wanted to move to Europe. I messaged Anna and told her that although I'm not moving there at the moment, I was seriously going to book a trip and would love it if she joined. I was so happy when she was just as serious as I was, and we booked a plan ticket shortly after. Six months later, we were in Paris.

Before I start delving into my trip, I should probably admit that Anna and I really didn't put much thought into planning. We booked all of our transportation throughout our four stops -- we settled on Paris, Barcelona, Rome, and Florence for a two week trip -- and our first hostel (the day before leaving) but left the majority of our trip unplanned.

Anna and I left DC at 8:40pm and took the red eye over to Iceland, where we had to switch flights. Iceland Air was pretty cheap, and we were able to get a student/under 26 discount, bringing our roundtrip air fare to less than $800. Of course the difficulty was switching flights, which turned out to be interesting when we had to go through security again in Iceland and no one was at the security area to let passengers through. But overall, the flight wasn't bad. Obviously it wasn't the best night of sleep I've ever had, but in a sense I was lucky because I had literally just finished my finals less than 48 hours before leaving. I was so exhausted from school that I was ready to just pass out the second I got on the plane. So I sat down, put on The King's Speech (good movie, but not as good as The Social Network or The Fighter) and went to sleep.

Skipping ahead to Paris -- we arrived at about 1:30pm Paris time (7:30 am DC time) and were pretty jet lagged and exhausted. And then we had to figure out the Paris metro to get to our hostel. Problem: neither of us speak French. At all. Fortunately, we were able to navigate our way on the metro, but when we arrived at our stop, we got so lost and ended up wandering around for about a half hour. We asked for directions at two points and it became pretty obvious that giving directions is simply not a skill that the French possess. The second person we asked showed us the truly lovely side of the French persona when he replied, "I'm speaking English to you. Why don't you understand me? Don't you speak English?" The problem was that he was telling us to go straight, when in reality, very few of the streets in Paris actually go straight.

Finally, we arrived at Legends hostel and met our new roommate, Alejandro from Brazil. (I actually don't know his name. I called him Alejandro the whole time we were there because I couldn't remember it, so I gave him a name I'd remember -- thanks Lady Gaga.) Anna and I were so deliriously tired at this point that when Alejandro asked us to party with him that night, we sadly had to turn him down. Instead, we walked around and explored our area. We saw a really cool street market with all fresh food randomly around the corner. It was about 6pm, and we really wanted to go to dinner, but were sadly disappointed when we were told that no one eats dinner before 8 at the earliest. Luckily, there was a supermarket next to our hostel so we had our first gourmet Parisian meal: chips, hummus, a baguette, and red wine.

The next day was filled with a ton of awesome touristy activities thanks to

Anna's mom who booked us a bus tour of the city, a trip up the Eiffel Tower, lunch at the Eiffel Tower, and a cruise down the Seine River. We walked down the Jardin des Tuileres and saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time as we waited for our bus tour to begin. We also had our first coffee experience in France as we sipped cafe creme at a local cafe filled with cranky waiters. (Ahhh, France!) The bus and the river cruise were really great ways to see the city, and obviously considering that I am a bit of a history fanatic, I was really excited to have an opportunity to learn about the city as well. Personally, lunch at the Eiffel Tower was the highpoint of the day, and not only because of the delicious wine and espresso. It was a beautiful view of a beautiful city on a beautiful day, and that is simply something I can't complain about.

After the Seine River cruise, we continued to walk around the city, and eventually headed back to our hostel. On the way we stopped at an Internet cafe to email our parents, search walking directions, and book the remainder of our hostels. We met a girl from Philly (where Anna is from) who told us that she had gone to a party and left her purse in a room unsupervised. When she came back, her passport was gone. Her friends who she had been travelling with continued on with their tour of Europe, leaving her alone with no place to stay. She tried to contact the U.S. Embassy, but they were not open unless it was an emergency -- and losing your passport apparently does not qualify as an emergency. I felt bad for her mainly because her friends left her on her own in a foreign country, but I am sharing this story to remind any of my frequent readers to not be an idiot, and to keep track of your shit (especially your passport!!!) in a foreign country. It was an unfortunate circumstance, but really it was her own fault for being dumb.

Anyway, I have digressed. Anna and I returned to Legends Hostel and hit up the grocery store again to buy some cheap wine, fruit, and cheese for dinner. If you haven't picked up on this already, wine gained its own section in the food pyramid (which no longer exists, FYI) during this trip because it was so cheap and so delicious, and really if you drank enough you totally forgot that you didn't eat. And plus, everyone drinks at every hour of the day in Europe. I spent four years in college and I may or may not have participated in 7am beer funnels, shotgunning, jello shots, etc... at tailgates or on major holidays, but I was a little caught off guard to see responsible adults casually enjoying a bottle of wine at 10 am. So naturally, when I say we drank a ton of wine, it wasn't because it was crazy vacation party time, but rather we were just adapting to the local scene. Either way, I liked it, and this is something I might personally try to incorporate into my personal American lifestyle.

At this point, we met a couple of American college students from California, who had been studying abroad and were heading back to the US when we left for Barcelona. They were so nice, and it was fun to meet people from our own country. We joked about surviving the rapture that night, and headed to a nearby restaurant where we drank even more wine. The night didn't really go anywhere after that, but we did pass by an apartment that was blasting "Baby One More Time". Being slightly under the influence at this point, I yelled up to the apartment to ask about the party. A man came to the window dressed in leather and wearing a leash, and of course he invited us up to join. Unfortunately, attending a Britney Spears S&M party ranks pretty low on my list of life goals, so we decided to pass and head back to the hostel.

Over the next few days, we went to Montparnasse Tower to overlook the city, and drink some champagne. On our last day we went to Notre Dame, which was an incredibly humbling experience, and ranks as one of the most fantastic buildings I've ever seen. The church was extraordinary, and I highly recommend that anyone who visits Paris check it out. And then to completely change gears, we also visited the Moulin Rouge, which I think we both agreed was a bit of a waste. Shockingly, the red light district of Paris was pretty grimy.

Obviously, I have many more funny and interesting stories about our time in Paris, but I have already told so much that I think it's time to move on. After an hour long bus ride to another Paris airport, we were off to Barcelona. We arrived there around 2pm, and were fortunate to have an apartment to stay because my brother's friend, Mirja, lives in the city. My brother received his MBA in Barcelona, so not only did he have friends to give us a place to stay, but he also gave us some recommendations on what to do there. After mastering another city's metro system we arrived at Mirja's, which was infinitely better than the Paris hostel. It's probably also worth noting that my Spanish and Anna's Italian are at least somewhat conversational, so the language wasn't as much of a problem in Spain or in Italy. Technically, the official language of Barcelona is Catalan, but people do speak Spanish as well.

After spending some time with Mirja, we headed out into the city and experienced what was arguably my favorite part of the trip -- tapas and sangria. I have been trying not to discuss the food too much in this post because I plan to do a special edition food post about eating gluten free in Europe, but I loved tapas and sangria so much that I just couldn't resist. Tapas are served just about everywhere for the entire day in Barcelona, and they are small plates of food. Most of the food is relatively plain according to American standards, meaning it is seafood, vegetables and cheese. Very few items are breaded or fried, or doused in sauce. It was amazing. And well, sangria is sangria -- what's not to love? We then walked over to La Rambla, which is essentially a walking street dedicated to stores, markets, and street vendors. In Paris, both Anna and I decided to buy street art from every city we went to. I instantly saw a painting I loved while walking La Rambla, but decided to wait to purchase the next day. We continued on to the beach and to walk along the pier. One of the most amazing parts about Barcelona is the accessibility to the beach. But considering we did go to the beach, I'll touch on this later. At this point, we headed back to Mirja's since it was late, and although we were tired, we planned to spend our first night out on the town.

Mirja had recommended to us a few clubs along the ocean, and told us about Barcelona night life. No one goes out earlier than midnight, and the party goes on all night. So Anna and I went back to the apartment, got ready to go out, and metroed to the club, arriving just after 12. We went to Carpe Diem Lounge Club (CDLC), and after much searching, finally came across it. The clubs were all below ground, so when we walked up and saw essentially a shoe box, we were a little surprised. But after going downstairs, we saw that CDLC was huge, and really cool inside. The joke of the night quickly became our age. Besides one group of Amsterdam 40-somethings on a business trip, we were clearly among the oldest people in the club. Anna joked about it being full of 14-year-old models, and that it was the Gossip Girl of Barcelona -- but in all seriousness, both seemed pretty true. To be fair though, it was a Tuesday night and I assume that most people with jobs don't party until sunrise on a Tuesday.

I'm not sure what time we got back to the apartment, but I know we did pretty well for a couple of old Americans even though we could not outlast the Amsterdam group. The next morning, we went to the beach. Mirja's apartment was about a 10 minute walk to the beach, which was an amazing way to recover from the previous night. The beach was everything I dreamed a European beach to be, meaning that it was filled with men in speedos and topless women. My bathing suit might as well have been a snowsuit compared to everyone else. Nevertheless, it was a wonderful way to start the day in Barcelona.

Mirja had recommended to us earlier that we take the hop-on/hop-off bus through Barcelona in order to see all of the sights. This was a great idea, and we did have the opportunity to make the most of our time there. We saw La Sagrada Familia, the notoriously under-construction church designed by Gaudi, but did not go in because of time constraints. We took the bus to Park Guell, an amazing park overlooking Barcelona and also designed by Gaudi. It's really difficult to describe Park Guell, and I realize this more and more as I try to explain why it's so cool. Throughout the park are semi-buildings, staircases, ramps, and architectural structures

designed by Gaudi. I learned on the bus tour (!) that early in Gaudi's life, he showed signs of mathematical genius, so his work is incredibly sound mathematically in addition to being phenomenal works of art and architecture. Gaudi's art is famous for mosaic imprints, and Christian symbolism. His work is everywhere in Barcelona. But anyway, at the top of Park Guell, you can see the entire city of Barcelona and it is absolutely amazing. While heading back to our bus, we stopped at some shops and bought a few things. Anna and I spent more money in two days in Barcelona than we did during our four days in Paris. After seeing more of the city on the bus, we returned to La Rambla, bought our paintings, and what else, had sangria and tapas.

We had to be up at 4am for our flight to Rome the next morning, and after debating whether it was worth it to go out to a club and stay up all night or to go to bed at a reasonable hour, we opted to go to bed. However, this was not before opening a bottle of wine with Mirja on her patio and watching the sun set in Barcelona. Not too bad.

Wow, I know this post is really long. To me, it's only a brief recap, but I appreciate everyone who is still reading at this point. But I'm halfway through the trip! If you need to take an intermission -- use the restroom, get a drink -- now's the time to do it.

The second half of our trip was spent traveling through Italy, and our first stop in the country was Rome. We had a 7am flight into Rome, and hopped on a "mini-bus" to take us straight to our hostel. Anna and I were a bit sleep deprived and bordering on delirious, so we were more than entertained by our interesting driver, a large boisterous Italian man whose cell phone ringtone was the techno version of "Heaven."

After arriving at our hostel, we took the metro into the city and had an awesome lunch (with wine, of course). We walked around and saw the Spanish Steps, Trevi Fountain, and a lot of other really, really, really old things. After a long day of traveling and walking around, we were pretty tired and decided to spend the night with a bottle of wine in our hostel. When we got back, we had yet another Brazilian roommate with whom we talked for hours. He had never been to America before so he asked us a lot of questions about the U.S. And when we told him we had been college roommates, he had tons of questions about how similar college is compared to its portrayal in movies and on TV. We told him a few stories from our 120 days, and he told us about living in Brazil. I think Anna would agree with me that he was by far our favorite roommate during the trip. Unfortunately, he was leaving the next day to head to Barcelona, so we didn't have the chance to go out with him in Rome. We were staying in a room that occupied four people, so we continuously had new roommates come in and out.

The next day we went to the Colosseum, and per my brother's recommendation, took the tour. It actually worked out well because an English-speaking tour was starting right as we walked up, and we got to skip the queue. It also included a tour of the archaeological ruins that were essentially across the street. The Colosseum was pretty amazing, and although I really could only picture Russel Crowe fighting there, apparently movies are full of lies and the men who really fought there are approximately my height. What a disappointment.

The thing about Rome is that obviously it's an incredibly old city with a ton of history, but it is a bit overwhelming. There is so much to see and do, and just about everywhere you look there are historical monuments. Also, it was a little dirty, and the metro really freaked me out. I interned in New York City and would take the subway during rush hour -- and I was still overwhelmed by the Rome metro. Not to mention it looked like it would break down at any second.

The next day we headed to Vatican City. Anna and I bought tickets online, so again we were able to skip the queue. (This whole skipping the queue thing sounds great, but it really did turn out to be a bad thing in the end because when we got to the airport and returned to the U.S. we felt entitled to cut the line. Any time we had to wait in line we immediately became cranky.) We had some time to kill before our 1pm entrance to the Vatican, so we went to the nearby Castle Sant'Angelo once owned by the Emperor Hadrian. It was a pretty minor tourist attraction, but definitely worth seeing if you're in the area. Being that I'm from New England, it reminded me of the Breakers in Newport, RI because all the artwork was impeccably detailed on the walls, and the ceilings were plated in gold, and I want to say the inspiration for the Breakers was derived from ancient Roman and Grecian architecture. Anyway, the castle is still in remarkable shape, and we quickly jumped to planning Anna's wedding since her grandma will pay if she marries an Italian man in Italy. Finding this man will be our goal for the next trip.

After a few hours at the castle, we headed over to the Vatican. I was a bit surprised because I

had always picture the Vatican to be one enormous church. But then it again, it is called Vatican City for a reason. Our first stop was St. Peter's Basilica, and maybe I'm one for the shock and awe qualities, but I have to say St. Peter's was definitely my favorite part of Vatican City. It's impossible to describe the beauty of this church. It was truly unbelievable, and undoubtedly one of the most amazing sights I have ever seen. Everything was made from marble and gold. (Fun fact: the marble from the Colosseum was used to build Vatican City. Learned that on my tour.) If there's any lessons I took away from this trip it is that early Catholics did not joke around when it came to building their churches -- go big or go home.

We left St. Peter's and went over to the Vatican Museum, and the Sistine Chapel. Again, everything in the museum walking toward the Chapel entrance was covered in gold, and was hand painted with such incredible detail. When we reached the Sistine Chapel, I have to admit I was almost a little disappointed. Don't get me wrong, the painting throughout the Chapel was absolutely phenomenal, but I had become accustomed to seeing so much gold and so many bright shiny religious items (bling, for lack of better term) that I was caught slightly off guard. Furthermore, I totally missed Michelangelo's famous painting -- major fail. Oh well, I guess that's what Google is for.

After spending the day at the Vatican, it was time to regroup and get ready for Saturday night. We were spending the weekend in Rome, so our only logical thought was that we needed to go out. The day before, Anna and I had been approached several times about a bar crawl through Rome for 20 euros. It included a one hour open bar, entrance to a club with no cover and the ability to skip the line, drink specials, and a free T-shirt. We decided on this, and went to the Spanish Steps that night. While we sat and waited to start, we had to ward off some creepy Italian men (who honestly must have been children since they didn't look a day over 18) and made friends with some really fun girls from Canada. Anna joked that I was the one who made all of our friends on the trip -- and this is probably true, now that I think about it -- so I struck up a conversation with them, and fortunately they were also going on the bar crawl.

To make a long story short, the open bar had to be split into two hours. Anna and I did not want to sit and pay for drinks while waiting for our open bar to begin, so we left for the time being and grabbed a bottle of wine while our Canadian friends went to dinner. Our pub crawl guide, Luka from South Africa, invited us to join him on the Spanish Steps for some drinks before heading back to the bar. As soon as we got back to the Spanish Steps, there was a wedding occurring at the bottom of the steps. It was entirely random, but very cool, nonetheless. We chatted with Luka for a little bit, who was incredibly nice. We both sensed his disappointment when we told him our ages, and the fact that we're both pretty well-educated and have jobs, a far stretch from the usual teenage study abroad tourist that Luka usually invites to drink with him on the Spanish Steps. We returned to the bar, marveling the entire way back about how our glasses of wine and open bottle would have gotten us arrested by now in the U.S. Anna and I earned our 20 euros worth at the open bar, and sat with our new Canadian friends. I was so grateful they were there, because the only other people on this bar crawl were study abroad students. It was nice to meet other people who were also semi-responsible adults, as we like to think of ourselves.

Well our bar crawl was not by any sense of the definition a bar crawl. Trust me, I went on a few pretty exceptional bar crawls in college, and even some post-college. Two bars does not equal a bar crawl. We ended up at this club where drinks cost 15 euros (that's a little over $20 if you're wondering) and a Lady Gaga look-alike came on-stage and did not perform Lady Gaga! She was also flanked by two men dressed an angels, dancing around her. This was certainly a bar experience I had never had before. Considering we didn't want to waste all of our money on drinks in Rome, Anna and I headed back to the hostel after hanging out for a bit. We bought some late night snacks from the vending machine and quickly passed out.

Our last day in Rome was relatively uneventful, which was fine because we had an early train to Florence the next morning. After an hour and a half delay, confusion over our seats that were double-booked, and many language barriers, we were in Florence and ready for a bottle of wine to aid us in forgetting our horrible travel experience that morning. Within our first hour in Florence, we saw Sammi and JWoww walk by our restaurant filming season 4 of the Jersey Shore. But there will be more on this later. The rest of our day consisted of a few drinks, lots of food, and just enjoying Florence. I really like Florence a lot, and it was Anna's favorite city. It was pretty relaxed, especially compared to the craziness of Rome.

Our first full day in Florence consisted of attempting to see the David (the line was super long, and it was way too expensive) and ultimately choosing lunch over the statue. We then went to the Duomo, which again, was a pretty awesome church. Afterwards, we did some window shopping and just walked around the city. Florence is incredibly small, so it was easy to walk everywhere.

We stopped back at our hostel and met some guys from DC, and from Canada. It's always incredibly weird to meet people from your area while overseas, but on my trip I met two guys from DC and two girls who were from my hometown and went to my high school. Anyway, we talked about how we wanted to go out and how Anna really wanted to see the Jersey Shore cast. Her friends had recommended a bar called Twice, which was about a 5 minute walk from the hostel. Our new DC friends came over for some wine (and in mine and Anna's case some chocolate liqueur -- what were we thinking?) before heading to Twice around midnight.

As soon as we walked in we saw the TV cameras. The Jersey Shore was at the bar.

Of course we had to check out the scene, so we walked back to the dancing area and saw everyone except for Snookie who was apparently in jail. I didn't think it was possible, but they are more disgusting in person than they are on TV. They are also incredibly short, and I thought they would have been good gladiators in ancient Rome. If only. Well I can safely say I didn't actually talk to anyone about getting my GTL on, but I was literally next to them (especially Ronnie) at multiple points throughout the evening. The camera crew even followed the girls into the bathroom when Anna and I were in there, and Anna hit them with the door. Whoops! As we were walking out much later in the evening, a girl was getting down with the Situation and apparently I walked right through the shot. Too much chocolate liqueur -- I didn't even notice. There were also a few girls signing waivers as we left. Your future employers might be impressed that you studied abroad in Florence and became conversational in Italian, but I highly doubt that your one-night-stand with the Situation documented on a popular TV show will help you land a job.

Our last day in Florence was spent nursing our hangovers and engaging in retail therapy. I almost want to say we shopped too much in Florence, but my mother always taught me there is no such thing. The leather is amazing in Florence, and incredibly cheap compared to the U.S. so we took advantage of the opportunity.

The final leg of our trip consisted of an overnight train from Florence, boarding at about 10:30pm to France. We basically slept in a closet with cots with four other people. And by slept I mean dozed on and off while making sure our stuff didn't get stolen. Finally, we arrived in Paris, and after dealing with the nightmare and disorganization of the Paris airport, we were on our flight back to the U.S. After about 36 hours of traveling, I was finally back in DC. As sad as I was to see the trip come to an end, it was great to be back in a country where everyone speaks my language, and it was even better to be able to call my family and catch up with my roommates. I took a long weekend to recover, and then thrust myself back into work and summer school.

Now that the trip is over, I've had some time to reflect on the experience. It truly was a life-changing experience, and I am so incredibly grateful to have shared it with a friend as awesome as Anna. So here is my basic summary of my post-trip feelings, which may be entirely random but it is what it is.

1. City ranking (from favorite to least favorite): Barcelona, Florence, Rome, Paris

2. I really want to be fluent in another language (Spanish) and this is now a new goal that I will actively pursue.

3. Work is entirely overrated, and I really despise how work-centered the U.S. is. In DC, it's always "what do you do?". My job isn't my identity, and this is generally the attitude in Europe. Everything shuts down on Sundays -- it's nice.

4. As much as I dislike Amtrak, it is hands down better than the local train systems in Europe.

5. I still have mixed feelings about the pace of lifestyle in Europe. It's definitely much slower than where I'm from. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not.

6. Wine should be a way of life. So should tapas and sangria.

7. It's clear why obesity is such a problem in the U.S. If we ate smaller portions, fresher food, and cut back on fried, greasy crap, we would be so much healthier. (There were very few obese people in Europe; and those who were, were Americans.)

8. I will go back to Europe -- more time in Barcelona, and a trip to Amsterdam are certainly happening in the near future.

9. I'm much more social than I thought I was.

10. Spontaneity is a good thing. I should incorporate this into my life more often.

11. And on that note, continue to enjoy being young and not having any obligations. It's really a great thing.

Tragedy in Japan

2011-03-18T10:34:00.004-04:00

It's difficult to blog about anything this week other than what has happened in Japan last Friday. I don't have too much to say on the subject besides that it is obviously horrible and devastating for so many people whose lives have been ruined by this tragedy. Here's a photo essay that really shows the devastation affecting the area.

I read an article in Newsweek yesterday about how likely it is that this will happen in the United States. As much as I don't want it to happen, I think it's only a matter of time. Considering that Japan is one of the best-prepared countries in the world for earthquakes, it's amazing to see the damage that still occurred. I hope the United States sees this tragedy as a warning, and begins to prepare for potentials earthquakes and tsunamis on the west coast.

That said, over time the coverage of what has happened in Japan will die down, and people will move on with their everyday lives. I think we tend to forget when things like this happen. And it often takes years for areas to recover, if they ever even do. Look at Haiti, and even New Orleans. I hope that as time goes on Japan receives the help it needs to recover.

How Much is Too Much?

2011-03-03T10:21:00.004-05:00

Along with just about everyone else, I've been following all the drama involving Charlie Sheen, his kids, his TV show, his ex-wife, and of course, his "Goddesses". What a mess. It probably goes without saying that the only people I feel sorry for in this situation are his children, because even at just two-years-old children can understand a situation much more than we realize. I really hope they are given some sort of protective custody far, far away from both their parents.

That said, the inundation of stories about Sheen has inspired two main thoughts — at what point should our private lives become public? And why do we value the revelation of private information?

In all this discussion about Sheen, I checked out his Twitter page and saw among his crazy rants about "winning" and tiger blood" that within 26 hours he had one million followers. That's right, one million followers paying attention to what this drug-addicted, alcoholic, psychotic, and just all-around screwed up "unemployed winner" had to say. I even clicked on one of his Twitpics with the 22-year-old Goddess he currently lives with, and unfortunately wasn't surprised to see all the comments were about how Charlie is indeed winning, and the haters are just jealous, and that the Goddess had better boobs than Denise Richards.

When I envisioned myself entirely losing faith in humanity I didn't think it would happen a) in a span of 90 seconds b) at just 24-years-old, but if I may add 2 years older than a Goddess, and c) as a direct result of Charlie Sheen.

With the expansion of social media and outlets like Twitter and Facebook, I find myself often asking how much is too much? Does privacy exist at all anymore, and is there any integrity in leaving some things to yourself? Even on a smaller scale, I have Facebook friends constantly updating their every move — "Just woke up, soooo tired," "Going to take a shower," "Working until 3. Hate my boss tho"... And so on, and so forth. There is a compulsive need to share everything going on in one's life, and it really bothers me. And much like the positive reinforcement given to Charlie, for one reason or another there are those people who will "like" Facebook posts about things that just shouldn't be shared.

In the end, I want to know how much is too much? It's a cyclical process — share, react, share, react. But it seems like we just share more and more, and react stronger and stronger. I don't see how this process could possibly reverse itself since it only becomes more shocking.

A note to end on: Yes, I do appreciate the irony that I will now be posting this on my Facebook and Twitter accounts, in case you were wondering.

Running Out of Resources

2011-02-22T11:02:00.008-05:00

First I would like to apologize for my delay in writing. If you follow my blog, you know it's one of my 11 goals in 2011 to update weekly, and clearly I have already broken this goal. (Amanda and Marissa may be happy though, because this does mean that at least one round of drinks is on me at the end of the year.) That said, I'm not discounting this goal, and I still want to update weekly for the rest of the year. I feel, quite often, like grad school has swallowed me whole, but I'm surviving and enjoying it, I swear! It's just far more work than I had ever anticipated.

Well tomorrow is officially Marine Corps Marathon registration day, and I am very excited. This will be my second experience with 26.2 miles, and I am thinking it may even be better than my first. Training for Philly was certainly a challenge — blood, sweat, and tears all included — and I expect MCM to top my experience, since it is, after all, the People's Marathon. MCM is the 4th largest marathon in the country, with over 30,000 runners. Plus, I'll have the benefit of training in the area since I live close to the course. This year I will be running with friends and family, making it that much better.

Since my time off from Philly, I've had some time to reflect on how much I've grown to love running. Despite the challenge of working and going to school full time, I've been able to fit running into my schedule (although not as much as I'd like). After a great run, I feel so much more focused than I did beforehand. I love it.

Which is why I've been following a recent story from University of Delaware, my alma mater, about the cutting of the men's cross country team in the name of Title IX. Starting this fall, the team will now be considered a club sport, not varsity. Title IX, most famously known for promoting women's equality in sports, includes a standards that requires varsity sports to offer funding in proportion to the number of male and female students. The university is using this reason to cut the cross country team, and to no longer allow runners to compete at a varsity level, according the university newspaper, The Review.

As I started to read further into this story, I was interested in why it was the cross country program, whose indoor team was also made a club sport in 2008, that is being bullied by Title IX. As a student at Delaware, our football team was the golden standard of sports, despite the fact that it is Division I-AA, and not even Division I. Our basketball team has bordered on atrocious since before I was even on campus, and I still can't recall ever talking to a person who actually attended a game. Jeff Pearlman's Sports Illustrated column cites some of the numbers regarding the football team: 103 total members on the roster, four quarterbacks, 10 running backs, 14 wide receivers, 16 defensive backs, and four kickers. Yes, four kickers. And amazingly, it is the 12-person total roster, with a budget of $20,000 and no scholarships that is cut. Pearlman also cites that the attendance at Delaware Stadium for the I-AA semifinals, in which Delaware played, was only 10,317 — in a stadium that can fill up to 22,000. Football isn't a great "money-maker" for the university, and neither is basketball — arguably the two most popular college sports. So what is the purpose of cutting an entire program of one of the least expensive sports, when the larger, and over-rated programs suffer no consequences?

I wonder if in the the future this will come back to hurt the university. There will be less interest among students as they no longer have an option to run at the varsity level. It's possible that other students may not consider Delaware as a formidable option because the sport they love may run the risk of being cut as well.

As a woman, I understand the reasoning for Title IX, and I am grateful for laws that do promote equality. Women's sports are important. But as a runner, I have serious qualms with the idea to cut cross country. Why couldn't the football team scale back its roster? No, running is not the most exciting or the flashiest sport — but those who do it are incredibly dedicated and do have a deep love for just getting outside and moving. Mostly, I feel for the students who came to Delaware to be a part of a great program, only to lose the opportunity to do so. It may be too late for the men's cross country team, but I do hope that in the future the university finds a better way to enact the guidelines of Title IX.

Update: Is it May Yet?

2011-02-01T10:24:00.005-05:00

I'd like to start off by apologizing for my delay in writing. Who would have thought going to grad school full time and working 34 hours per week would be so time consuming?

Anyway, January is officially over which means that I should have made exactly one month's progress on my 11 in '11 list. I'm not sure how you'd measure such a thing, but I think an update should be sufficient.

Already, 2011 has brought a few changes into my life and I think that for the most part they have been positive. As I mentioned earlier, I started grad school -- although started is very much an accurate term for what I've done, since thanks to the snow, two of my classes were canceled during the first week. However, I'm still seeing how much work school will be throughout the next few years. As hard as I worked, and as much as I read as an undergrad, I don't think my experiences compare significantly to what I have to do now. It's amazing how much time it takes to process the material and make progress through my assignments. On the bright side, I do like what I'm doing and I am interested in what I'm learning. I also feel much more prepared going into grad school than I did transitioning from high school to college. I know the effort these classes take, and what professors expect from students. My goal of a 3.7 GPA is still a long ways away (where are you May?) but I'm doing everything I can now to get there.

My blog dedication has overall been pretty good -- right? I've bene updating weekly, with the exception of last week. But I'm going to try my best to update twice this week to make up for it. Like I said, grad school completely steals any moments of free time I may have, and combined with half marathon training, even sleep feels like its become optional. But, my blog posts this month have had some of the highest numbers of hits I have ever had. So I'll keep writing as long as you keep reading.

Before the year even started, I began reading Time Magazine's list of the 100 greatest novels ever written. The first book on the list, The Adventures of Augie March was so boring that I simply had to put it aside for the time being, which I never like to do. But don't worry! I promise to overcome my boredom and cross Augie of the list even if it's the only thing I do this year. I'm determined... just not right now. Since it was before the year started when I began and quite Augie, it doesn't really count yet. I'll see him again in the spring.

And it actually ends up being quite perfect because I'll have plenty of time for reading this spring, since -- wait for it, wait for it -- I'll be spending a lot of time on the plane because I booked my trip to Europe! I am officially traveling through Europe, visiting Paris, Rome, Florence and Barcelona after my classes end. I'm so excited for this trip, and it is definitely the light at the end of the tunnel right now. I think it's going to be an amazing experience. It's always a great feeling to say you will do something for a long time, and then to actually act upon it. So until then, I'm counting the days until I'm standing next to the Eiffel Tower.

So there you have it. My 11 in '11 so far. I hope you're enjoying your 2011 as much as I am.

Less Than Perfect

2011-01-23T11:06:00.005-05:00

Throughout most of my life, I considered myself to be a perfectionist. For as long as I can remember, I would do anything and everything I could to be as perfect as possible. My best was never enough, and I was consistently my own worst critic.

Case in point --I remember in first grade, the one time I ever got in trouble at school. We had a point system consisting of star stickers, and when you reached a certain number of "lost stars" you would get a phone call home to discuss bad behavior. One day, I came in late from recess -- a complete accident -- and I was forced to forfeit a star. I cried my eyes out. And I did get a call home, because the teacher was worried about how hard I took the "lost star". I was borderline traumatized over the idea that I wasn't the best student in the class for that single hour. This idea carried over into my teenage years and into my adult life. Whenever anything went wrong I would wonder what was wrong with me. I wanted control over situations to know that I could accomplish perfection.

This has been something very difficult for me to come to terms with. There have been many situations in my life in which I have had no control, but I have done the best I can to try to achieve perfection within them. Any time I failed, I blamed myself. A lot of areas in my life have been affected by this need to control everything, ranging from my personal relationships to my school work to my jobs.

I graduated college in 2009, in one of the worst economies on record for new graduates. I had a degree in English with a concentration in journalism, one of the industries hit hardest by the ailing economy. After my internship with CBS News, in which my supervisor reviewed me as the "best intern we have ever had," CBS laid off practically the entire department. I was unemployed with thousands of 20-somethings, and forced to move back home and tirelessly send out hundreds of resumes only to hear no response.

This experience was difficult. I wanted answers, and I wanted reasons why I was getting so few , interviews and barely any offers. I had worked hard, I went to a good school, and I had great experiences for a 22-year-old recent graduate. I blamed myself for being unable to find employment. I started to believe I wasn't good enough for certain life paths (for lack of a better term) and I let a lot of areas of my life suffer because of this feeling of unfulfilled need to be perfect.

Now that I have been living in DC for approximately six months, I realize how skewed my thinking was for most of my life. It is true that no one is perfect. But it is true that anyone can reach success and do great things. I owe much of this realization to my time of uncertainty after college. After only knowing school for 17 years of my life, it was hard to figure out who I am and what I want to be. To be honest, I'm still not sure I know. But I'm ok with that.

I start graduate school this week, and I'm really looking forward to -- as I look to put it -- investing in my future. I know there's no guarantees that this is the right path for me, or that I will be able to find a job in six years when I have completed my Phd. And of course the "investment in my future" (better known to most of the world as debt) isn't ideal. But I'm realizing that I like the unknown, and the idea that I have so much time to try new things, even if that includes failing a few times along the way. Life isn't about being perfect.

Shortly before I graduated from school, my brother showed me this clip on YouTube. It's Steve Jobs', the CEO of Apple, commencement speech at Stanford University in 2005. I still think about it today, and if you have time, it is truly worth watching. Enjoy!

Pointing Fingers

2011-01-12T12:09:00.001-05:00

Along with the rest of the country, I've been following the Tucson shootings that happened on Saturday in Arizona during a meet and greet with Representative Gabrielle Giffords. Giffords, who was shot in the brain, has remained in intensive care, while others, including 9-year-old Christina-Taylor Green, lost their lives. As the tragedy has continued to unfold throughout the week, everyone has been wondering what could possibly make someone kill six people and wound 19 others.

Throughout the week, the tragedy has developed in the media from a tragic act to a political finger-pointing of who-did-what. A lot has been made of Sarah Palin's crosshairs map and her negative rhetoric. If you haven't seen the map yet, it depicts crosshairs, or what appears to be a gun targets, placed on the districts of 20 U.S. representatives who voted for healthcare reform. Rep. Giffords is one of the "targets" on the list.

When the list originally was posted on Palin's Facebook page and websites, Rep. Giffords was quoted in an MSNBC interview saying that the map was dangerous because of its ambiguous and potentially violent message:

"I think it's important for all leaders, not just leaders of the Republican Party or the Democratic Party ... community leaders, figures in our community to say, 'Look, we can't stand for this.' I mean, this is a situation where people really need to realize that the rhetoric, and firing people up, and even things ... For example, we're on Sarah Palin's targeted list, but the thing is, the way she has it depicted has the crosshairs of a gunsight over our district. And when people do that, they've got to realize there's consequences to that actions."

I don't mean to pick on Palin specifically. I only use her as an example of my greater point because she is the most publicized illustration of my feelings toward the issue. (In fact, investigators say the Jared Lee Loughner had no political affiliation, and was not motivated by politicians to shoot Rep. Giffords. Rather, he suffered from severe mental illness.)

I chose this example to demonstrate that the high levels of negativity between the left and right in our government have not produced a single result. The bickering and finger pointing have only led to arguments and immaturity, not change. Since the election of 2008, our country has reached a low point, not only with politicians but with citizens as well, in how we compose ourselves.

The United States is facing a difficult time, with the worst economy since the Great Depression and incredibly high unemployment rates. We are involved in two wars that cannot be won, and witness constant new threats of terrorism. We need our leadership — of both parties — to lead, and show by example that this current state is only temporary.

I remember watching the 2008 election, and most recently the 2010 elections, and thinking how depressing it was to witness. There was name calling, and finger-pointing. I was happy that last year I hadn't switched my voter registration yet because I didn't feel inclined to vote for any of these people. I felt embarrassed by the way our "leaders" were conducting themselves, and I wondered what the rest of the world thought us as Americans.

Nothing is going to change until both sides take responsibility for their short-comings, their mistakes, and most importantly, their constant negativity. By spreading messages of hate and violence, we are only going to experience hate and violence. Politicians are supposed to be the voice of the people, but I don't think any of them represent my voice. However, there are certainly people out there who will interpret the voices of hate to be theirs. This honestly frightens me.

I like to believe that with every tragedy there is some light that shines through. Although I haven't seen it yet, I really hope that the shooting in Tucson brings a call to action to stop using such negative energy to invoke reactions and party loyalty. Nothing is accomplished this way. The United States needs to show that this isn't the country we have been in the past, and this isn't the country we will be in the future.

It's Not Easy Being Green

2011-01-04T20:04:00.010-05:00

I read this article by David Pogue on the New York Times web site today. He discusses the "Two-Year Itch," which is the need for Americans to replace small wireless gadgets (i.e. cell phones, digital music player, digital cameras) every two years, only to throw them in the trash. He specifically targets cell phones, and the offers by major corporations to upgrade to bigger and better things after customers' two year contracts expire.

I felt bad while reading this because I know I am guilty of buying new electronics while my last ones still work fine. My last phone worked good enough, but I needed to have an iPhone just to, well, have an iPhone. With Apple and now Google coming out with newer versions of the iPhone and the Android every few months at best, it's hard not to want a better phone.

I don't think the idea that electronics are made to break would surprise anyone. How many cell phones and computers have you had in the last two years? What did you do with it when it broke down? Major corporations make products with the intent of having the product break down within a certain time period. It's more difficult and expensive to replace parts, or try to repair a product, than it is to just buy a newer working model.

But we cannot blame big industries entirely. Our personal wants only hurt the environment. So many do not recycle their old electronics for reuse or resale. We upgrade our cell phones when the older model still works, enforcing the ideals of big corporations to produce, produce, produce. Without taking a stand, we say it's OK to make borderline working electronics. And of course, we don't recycle.

Here's a few facts about the effects our electronics have on the environment:

Each year in the United States alone, 3 million tons of e-waste (cell phones, TVs, DVD players, computers, etc...) are thrown away.
Improperly handled and poorly made electronics contain PCBs, cadmium, mercury and lead, which are released into the environment. These chemicals are proven to cause cancer, nervous system damage, cell damage and renal failure.
In the United States, an estimated 70% of heavy metals in landfills come from e-waste. The EPA estimates that only 15-20% of e-waste is recycled.

There's always room for improvement -- for everyone -- to become more environmentally conscious. I try, but I can always try harder. I hope most people feel that way.

One of my professors in college once played a video called The Story of Stuff. I highly recommend watching to see what happens when we throw out those unwanted items that clutter our lives. There is also a newer (and shorter) version specifically about electronics. It's only between 5-10 minutes long, so please watch! And then go recycle something.

The Story of Electronics

The Story of Stuff

11 in 11, Part 2

2010-12-20T18:26:00.005-05:00

In November, I posted about a project that two of my friends and I would be working on throughout the next year -- 11 things we each want to accomplish in 2011. I loved this idea because instead of focusing on one ridiculous resolution, which I would inevitably break, this gives me the opportunity to try a bunch of different things that aren't necessarily life-changers. They're just goals to fulfill throughout the year.

As 2010 comes to a close, I have to say it has overall been a great year. Throughout the course of the year I moved to DC, found a full-time job, got accepted into grad school, went zip-lining, ran a marathon (and two half marathons), went to a huge family reunion, went to quite a few happy hours with my mom, and met a lot of really great people. Among those are some small daily items that have made me happy, and some really huge life-altering goals that I have met.

Last year around my birthday (which happens to be pretty close to the end of the year) I decided to make a goal and do something that I never thought I would do based on the fact that I didn't believe I could. I wanted to push myself outside of my comfort zone. I ended up choosing to run a marathon. This time last year, I had only run two 5Ks, and now it feels great to have two half marathons, a full marathon, and hundreds of training miles behind me. I also picked up a hobby that I happen to love. There will definitely be a lot of long distance runs in my future, that's for sure.

Given that I had a pretty big year, I did again want to choose one thing, as part of the 11 items, that I never thought I would do. However, I did find it a bit challenging to develop a list of 11 different things to do in 2011. But, I am pretty excited about my list. I think I have a good mix of serious things, fun things, and experiences that will stay with me forever.

Before I unveil my list, my friends and I put together some rules for completing our items throughout the year:

1. The honestly policy rules all. Some of these things are personal, and only we will know if we achieve them and when we achieve them.
2.We can substitute items up until January 1. Although, I highly doubt I will make any changes to my list.
3. For each item on our list that we do not accomplish by December 31, 2011, we must buy a drink of her choice for the other two. Obviously this could get pretty expensive pretty fast, so none of us want to get caught with two or three items we did not complete.
4. Each item must depend on us accomplishing it, not an external source.
5. We will check in with each other quarterly in order to be sure that we are still progressing with our list. Of course wine will always be involved.
6. Every accomplishment will be posted in our blog (so you also know we achieved it) and to track our progressing.

So without anymore delay, here are my 11 things that I will do in 2011. (These are in no particular order.)

1. Run Marine Corps Marathon. The Marine Corps Marathon is the big DC marathon, and it's supposed to be one of the best. Runner's World says that MCM has a reputation as the "People's Marathon" because of its goal to just have a good time. The race has over 30 bands playing throughout the course, and 100,000 spectators to cheer runners on. As the 4th largest marathon in the United States, MCM is going to be an amazing experience.
2. Travel through Europe. This is another item I cannot wait for. This summer, I plan to travel throughout Rome, Paris, Barcelona and possibly London. I went to Ireland once when I was 17, but this will surely be a different experience. I'm so lucky to have on of my college roommates, and one of the most fun and awesome people I know, joining me on this trip.
3. Maintain a minimum 3.7 GPA in graduate school. In five weeks I will be starting my Master's degree in history. I am so excited to finally be moving toward my career goal of becoming a college professor. This is going to be a ton of work, but I know I can do it.
4. Read the 100 greatest novels ever written. Ok, I know this is a multi-year project. This would mean I'd have to read a new book every three days, which is impossible when considering grad school and work. (I do have a head start -- I think I've read about 10 of them.) But I will be starting this goal, and only reading novels from this list published by TIME magazine. If you're interested in what is on the list, you can find it here.
5. Begin writing my own novel. I love to write, and I've always wanted to write a book. I plan to at least start writing, since again, this potentially could be a multi-year project.
6. Make a time capsule, hide it, and find it again in 25 years. In 2011, I will be turning 25-years-old, so naturally in 2036 I will be turning 50. I think when I'm 50 it will be interesting to revisit my 25-year-old self again. I guarantee this list will be in there. Hopefully it will give me some laughs.
7. Learn to play tennis and kick ass in a tournament. First, I want to thank one of my friends who agreed to give me lessons. I definitely have a competitive edge, and I think I'd be a pretty intense tennis player once I actually gain some skills. I played when I was younger, but it's been a long time since I've picked up a racquet.
8. Learn to paint. I always wanted to take art lessons and learn how to paint. I think oil paintings are so beautiful and so original. I plan to learn through lots of online studying and YouTube videos. And who knows, maybe if they're good enough I can start a side business!
9. Sit in a park in DC for an entire Saturday and just enjoy doing nothing. Every weekend since I moved here I've wanted to just sit and read in Georgetown, but it just never happened. So in 2011 I am determined to pick a day and just relax and enjoy my surroundings. Maybe I'll even do it twice.
10. Be more dedicated to my blog. Lucky you! I have a tendency to become lazy and slack on updating my blog. I promise to post at least once per week, and I will aim to post twice weekly. There will be a lot to read in 2011.
11. Go skydiving. Last, but certainly not least. I'm not afraid of very many things, but if there is one things that absolutely terrifies me it is heights. I hate roller coasters, high buildings, balconies, stadiums -- you name it. As I mentioned earlier, I started a tradition of doing one action every year I never thought I would do. This is certainly it. Now is as good of a time as ever to overcome my fears.
Honorable mention: Go to Panama. My brothers Sean and Brendan will both be living in Panama next year as they continue to work toward building the Solace Group. I want to visit my brothers so badly next year because I know it would be so much fun and so great to see them. The only reason this did not make the list is because I do not know if I can afford it next year. However, it is not out of the question, and I certainly would love to add it on.

So there you have it. The 11 things I am going to do in 2011. Please feel free to comment on my list and let me know what you think. Maybe you will consider making an 11 in '11 list of your own!

On a side note, DayOneAndAHalf is now on Twitter. Follow me for the latest updates on my blog and for links and other things related to my post. I'll love you forever if you do!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

2010-12-14T20:09:00.010-05:00

I am in the middle of reading Nineteen Minutes, a novel by Jodi Picoult. I love her books (even though it borders on chick lit) because of their convergence of legal issues with complex societal problems. For example, Nineteen Minutes is about a school shooting from both the shooters point of view as an act of retaliation against bullies, and from victims' points of views who grapple with the realization of life's fragility. The shooter survives and ends up going to trial and pleading not guilty. His trial is based on battered woman's syndrome, which postulates that a wife will attack an abusive husband even when unnecessary because her view of reality become disillusioned. The argument is that bullying will generate this same idea within the mind of those being bullied.

Anyway, I love a book that forces me to think -- although I do read before going to sleep, and sometimes that can keep me up at night, and thus, be a problem. Regardless, it's made me think a lot about the small decisions we can make in life and the ripple effect that they can have, with or without our knowledge.

This isn't a novel idea. Movies, TV shows and books have all dealt with this idea, and I've thought about it quite a bit myself. What if my parents had never taken my brothers to tour the University of Delaware? Would I have ever considered going there? I never would have met my friends, or had the opportunities I was given as a result of my undergrad degree. I never would have written for The Review, which in turn, would have likely deterred me from interning at CBS for the news department, and which in turn, may have prevented me from getting a job or getting into grad school. And reaching farther back, if I had given up on graduating high school due to my health issues, I certainly would never be where I am now. It's weird to think that even the decisions you make when you're 13 or 14-years-old can really change the course of your life.

This book has made me think about all the recent bullying episodes and teenage suicides that have occurred throughout the country this past year. If these kids realized how far-reaching their actions were, would they have acted the same? I think particularly of the student at Rutgers, Tyler Clementi, who jumped from the George Washington Bridge a few months ago after his roommate and another girl streamed a video of him kissing another man. Now they face invasion of privacy charges and probable prison time. They caused the end of another life, and the devastation of his family -- not to mention their opportunity to receive an education, and then a decent job. Would they have acted the same if they knew their ripple effect?

With the invention of the Internet and social networking, it's easy to make a snap judgment and irrational decisions and broadcast them to the world. I think they will have a stronger and faster effect than they ever have in the past. It's a scary idea, and I think one that society will have to come to terms with over time.

Looking Back

2010-12-01T16:10:00.010-05:00

I never felt a sense of accomplishment when I graduated college. I felt a lot of things, but never any sort of pride over completing my degree. To this day I still don’t, even though so many people don’t ever receive a college degree. I remember my mom telling me to appreciate how much work I put into school and to allow myself to feel proud. Part of me knows how much I have dealt with in my life, and I hold myself to very high standards in regards to successes and accomplishments.

To be honest, I’ve done a lot of things in my life that should make me feel a sense of accomplishment. Ten years ago, I became sick with chronic Lyme disease. Up until that point, I never faced any problems with my health. From then on, my life became a day-to-day quest for survival, as doctors and specialists performed spinal taps, MRIs, CT scans, brain specs, blood tests, and a countless number of other tests to figure out “what was wrong.” My parents, thankfully, researched every degree of my illness and took me to a Lyme disease specialist in Boston to discuss how serious chronic Lyme disease can be if left untreated. We estimated that I had originally gotten sick when I was approximately eight or nine years old, and that the disease steadily built up in my body, showing sparse symptoms for years, until I crashed over the span of a week.

To make a very long story much shorter than I should, I endured approximately five years filled with chronic pain and debilitating cognitive effects until I finally felt alleviated from the illness. I was home schooled for about two and a half years through middle school and high school, and was a part-time student for another two years. I had difficulties just walking the distance down the hallway of my home to bathroom, and sitting up for a car ride through town. I hated waking up in the mornings, knowing all I could do was face another day of lying in bed in excruciating pain.

On Sunday, November 21, I ran the Philadelphia Marathon. I have to say, without a doubt, that it was the greatest accomplishment of my life thus far. Knowing that I could finish running 26.2 miles was such an exhilarating feeling. After 18 weeks of training, and obsessing over this run, crossing the finish line was truly a feeling I could never put into words.

I decided about a year ago that 2010 was going to be the year to run a marathon, just to say that I had done it, essentially. It was definitely on a whim that I decided this, since I hadn’t even run a 5K at that time. I had never been a runner. I didn’t even know if I would like it. I waited for a while to tell anyone that I wanted to run a marathon simply because I didn’t have the faith in myself that I could complete something so difficult. A few months, and two 5Ks later, I finally started telling my family and friends that 2010 would be the year. There was no turning back.

On Marathon Sunday, the day started at 3:30 a.m. for me, since I woke up naturally at this time. I had set my alarm for 4 a.m., so I didn’t miss out on much more sleep. I just lay in bed thinking of what I needed to do to have a great run, and tried not to get too nervous. Because of my training, I knew I could run 18-20 miles pretty comfortably. What’s another 6.2 miles at that point? It’s just two 5K’s, or one 10K — nothing. Finally, I got up at 4 to start my pre-run routine, and to just generally get mentally and physically prepared. It’s funny, because even after four and a half long months of training, it’s not the physical part that stops you from running. It’s mental. I still had my moments up to mile 12 where I wondered if I could really do this or not. The difference between those that finish and those who don’t is the ability to say “yes”, when your body and your mind are screaming “no.” It is inevitable that at some point you will hit a wall, but regardless, you have to push forward.

My brother, Brendan and my dad dropped me off at the starting line at around 5:45 a.m. It was still dark out, and the sun wouldn’t start to come up for at least another 45 minutes. I picked a spot on a curb and sat until about 6:30, just focusing on the run, and listening to my music. My priorities were just to clear my head, drink water, and stay warm.

At 7:00, I was lined up with the 23,000 other runners who were taking on either the full marathon or the half marathon that morning. Right before I started, my only thought was, “Oh my God. I am actually going to do this.” I couldn’t believe I was about to run a marathon.

Overall, I felt pretty good during my run, but not as well as I had hoped. The night before, I started coming down with a minor cold (of course) so I had a sore throat and I was congested. That’s always the gamble of racing — I had singed up in April, so there was really no way of knowing how I would feel, or what the weather would be like. I felt a little sick throughout the first 15 miles or so, but after that the cold didn’t bother me.

I was so lucky to have my entire family there on the day of the marathon. My brothers flew in from Panama and San Diego, while my parents, and my brother Kevin drove from Connecticut. I think they might have been more excited than I was at points, but it was great to feed off their energy. I saw them at miles 1, 5, and 13, and Brendan even ran miles 1-5 with me to help pace me.

My legs started to get sore during mile 23, but even then I was able to run the vast majority of the last few miles (and the race as a whole). I was glad that I had trained as hard as I did, and that I was only feeling pain when I was should have.

After I crossed the finish line, it didn’t take long for shock of it all to hit. I really did it. I never thought I would do anything like this is in my life, but I actually did it. For the first time, I felt like I had come full circle from a girl fighting to survive to one who came back to run a marathon. This wasn’t just an accomplishment of finishing the run, but of reclaiming my life when so many didn’t believe that I could. I had come so far in the last 10 years, doing so much that seemed impossible at one point. And that is an accomplishment that even I can appreciate.

11 in 11, Part 1

2010-11-08T10:58:00.002-05:00

I was out last night at a happy hour when my friends and I started talking about New Years, and more specifically, New Year's resolutions. I hate resolutions.

I consider myself to be a creature of habit. I'll eat the same foods every night for weeks until I get sick of them, then I won't go near it for years until I finally decide to put it into my rotation again. I wash my sheets every Friday morning — no exceptions. My roommates can attest to this. I have a specific pre-running routine, which I won't discuss at the risk of losing my readers. I can be very particular about my routines, and I don't like to throw off my scheduling. Resolutions by definition mean that you must resolve to never do, or always do, a particular action in the future, and therefore break your routine. Ugh.

In addition to altering my day-to-day life, I think resolutions are trite and unoriginal. I looked on a few websites to see what the top 10 New Year's resolutions are, and I didn't see anything that I wouldn't expect.

1. Stop smoking. (I don't.)
2. Get fit. (I am.)
3. Lose weight. (I don't need to.)
4. Enjoy life more. (How do you monitor this?)
5. Quit drinking. (That's crazy.)
6. Organize yourself. (Have you met me?)
7. Learn something new. (Obviously I already know how to do everything.)
8. Get out of debt. (Thanks a lot, grad school.)
9. Spend more time with family. (I would if I could.)
10. Help people. (A little vague.)

Resolutions and I just do not work.

My friend did make a suggestion, though, that she wanted to make a list of 11 things to do in 2011. I really liked this idea, because it's original, and it doesn't limit me to feel like a failure when I screw up my one and only resolution. Plus, I can keep my normal routine, for the most part. So we decided to all create a list of 11 things (33 total, for those of you keeping track) we are going to complete in the year 2011. These items can range from just-for-fun, to self improvement, to community-minded. We want to motivate each other to complete the 11 items before December 31, 2011, and to stay on task throughout the year.

I started thinking last night of some things I wanted to do. **Spoiler Alert: I know one list item will be to run the Marine Corps Marathon next October, and luckily, one of my fellow list-makers wants to run her first marathon. I'm very excited to have a training buddy. Another one will be to maintain at least a 3.7 GPA in grad school. I intend to extend this goal throughout the 5 semesters I need to earn my Master's degree. I've mentioned in another post that I plan to travel throughout Europe — another item.

Besides those three, I have eight slots available. If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them. I will definitely post my completed list when it's compiled, and you can also make sure I do everything I put on the list. I'm sure this will lead to a number of posts, so stay tuned.

My Brother, the Ironman

2010-10-07T11:03:00.002-04:00

On Saturday, my brother Brendan is racing in Ironman Hawaii. For the last three years, it has been Brendan’s primary goal to qualify for Kona before he reached the age of 30. My family and I were lucky to witness him qualify last Thanksgiving during Ironman Cozumel (after finishing third in his age group), which he completed in 10 hours and 24 minutes.

Ironman is known to be one of the most grueling athletic events in the world, consisting of a 2.4-mile swim, followed by a 112-mile bike ride, and culminating in a 26.2-mile run. When I first heard Brendan was racing an Ironman a few years ago, my immediate reaction was, “All in the same day?” and quickly proceeded by “That’s absolutely insane.” My reaction hasn’t changed much. Ironman Hawaii is the world championship, allowing only those who qualify and a few luck lottery winners to compete. The reason it’s so selective is because the heat is sweltering, the ocean is rough, and the race curves through lava-covered terrain and volcanoes. I know what you’re thinking — no big deal.

Let me tell you a little bit about Brendan — nothing ever stops him. I remember being forced (against my will) to play Monopoly with him when we were kids and thinking it was the most horrible experience ever. Our games would last for 3-4 days, and he would not allow me to stop playing until I had mortgaged every property, and given him every dollar that I and the bank had. He wasn’t happy with just winning—he had to have complete and total domination. I hated it. Side note: years later he admitted to me that he would take extra money from the bank, being that he was always the banker since I was too young to do any complex Monopoly math. I’m still bitter.

As we got older, things just progressed down this road of extreme competition. We couldn’t just play basketball fairly; he had to block every single one of my shots. It was never satisfactory to play MarioKart64 for fun; he had to lap me at least once to make it a legitimate win. And when I went to my college orientation, it wasn’t enough to just sit while I went to the seminars; he had to get in a fight with YouDee the Fighting Blue Hen. But this is another story, altogether.

I insist that although my brother is hyper-competitive and extremely determined, none of these stories really provided me with the emotional scars that I tend to exaggerate. Having a brother who does the unthinkable, such as Ironman Hawaii, only makes for great stories and an interesting life. And I am sure that he is happy to be the first of my three brothers to receive a lengthy blog post.

Given all his determination to be the best and to achieve his lofty goals, it was actually not much of a surprise when he announced that he’d be moving to San Diego to pursue his dream of racing Ironman Hawaii. Even if moving meant riding his bike (as in bicycle) across the country, and quitting his rather impressive New York City job. And now, with Kona just days away, the idea that no one really understood years ago is finally a reality.

On Saturday I’ll be following the race at home online, and through videos that my dad texts me throughout the day. I just want to take this opportunity to congratulate Brendan and say how proud I am, and the rest of our family is, of his accomplishment. There are few people who would ever think to follow through on something as grueling and challenging as one Ironman, let alone the unarguable ultimate triathlon. I couldn’t be happier for you. And obviously for myself, since this time I’m not competing against you.

This is supposed to be the point where I wish you good luck, but that seems unnecessary since I never had any doubt that you’d make it to Kona. Just kick some ass.

What Could Have Been, Stieg?

2010-09-26T20:55:00.002-04:00

I recently finished reading Stieg Larsson’s Millennium Trilogy, consisting of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played With Fire, and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest. Overall, I loved the series — enough to recommend it to my dad, who is and always has been a very serious reader.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo follows Mikael Blomkvist, a journalist convicted of libel for a scandalously true but anonymously sourced story, as he is hired to investigate a missing persons case from 40 years ago. He issues the help of misfit Lisbeth Salander, a world-class computer hacker and investigator, to uncover the truth. The Girl Who Play With Fire and The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest are a more continuous story focusing on Salander, who is wrongly accused of murdering two journalists and her legal guardian.

Without giving much away about the plot for those of you who haven’t, but absolutely should, read them, I enjoyed the trilogy for several reasons. Larsson was a fantastic writer who could invent the most outrageous events, but still have his plot play out logically. I haven’t read much of crime fiction in the past, but I always had a difficult time “buying” the storyline. There’s no way this can happen, or this is too far-fetched for real life. Yes, his stories are extreme, but I did find them generally believable.

Secondly, The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo was originally titled Men Who Hate Women. The books all revolve around a general theme of abuse and misogyny that is rarely present in books, especially from male writers. That said, there are some extremely graphic descriptions in the novels that are bound to be disturb readers. I didn’t always like reading about these events, but I certainly have to give Larsson credit for allowing his writing to be free of censorship.

Seeing as how I enjoyed these books so much and appreciated Larsson’s writing, I took a few seconds between chapters of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo to read the short blurb about its author. I was surprised to find that he is dead.

Larsson was just 50-years-old when he had a heart attack, without any major risk factors besides being a lifelong smoker. Not only is he dead, but all three novels were delivered to the publisher shortly before his death, leaving them to be published posthumously. He would never know the massive success that his novels would have, as they have sold over 35 million copies worldwide and have been adapted into both Swedish and Hollywood films.

Of course my blessing/curse of journalism education kicked in, and I needed to research and read every single detail I could about Larsson’s death. It just struck me as so strange, especially after beginning the second novel. Blomkvist struggles with the decision to publish the works of his slain journalist friend, knowing that his writing could inflict danger to himself, his co-workers, and his friends.

Apparently, this wasn’t too far from real life for Larsson. As a journalist in Sweden, Larsson originally made a name for himself as an editor for the magazine, Expo, writing openly about neo-Nazis and right wing extremists. Larsson received multiple death threats because of his out-spoken views against these groups. The Swedish police claim there was never any foul play in Larsson’s death, but given that his own life and subsequent death could be the plot of any of his novels, the situation does raise suspicions.

I also found it fascinating that there is a massive legal battle brewing between Larsson’s girlfriend of 32 years and his family.

Larsson was raised as a child by his grandfather, who inflicted the anti-Nazi sentiment onto his grandson after he had been imprisoned for speaking out against the Nazis during World War II. His grandfather believed strongly in equal rights, clearly influencing the work of Larsson later in life. He met his girlfriend and life partner Eva Gabrielsson at age 18. Interestingly, the two never married because according to Swedish law, a couple must register their address upon entering legal matrimony. Because of the frequent threats to Larsson’s life they never officially married in order to protect their privacy, leaving his father and brother to inherit all rights to the books, the movies, and, of course, the money.

At the time of his death, Larsson has synopses for a total of 10 Millennium novels. A partially completed fourth novel was on his laptop, which is held in possession of Gabrielsson. She has no intention of publishing.

More than anything, I just find this story interesting. I don’t know the likelihood of conspiracy theories, and I’m unsure of how much life does actually imitate art. But I do know that the books were great, and that I can’t help but wish all ten could have made it to print.

Europe Bound

2010-09-13T21:14:00.002-04:00

My brother Sean is Mr. World Traveler Extraordinaire. He has backpacked through Europe (twice), lived in Barcelona, and ventured into South and Central America more times than I can even count.

I've always really admired Sean's ability to pick up and leave to follow his passions. For example, Sean recently left a stable job to live in Panama and start his own business. I think his past travels have made him so well rounded, and demonstrated his abilities to adapt to foreign cultures.

When I graduated college, Sean would tell me to take some time off and travel; experience the world. Clearly, I didn't. I got a job, made some money, and fell into the routine of the day-to-day real life.

I can't say I regret my decision to not travel because it gave me the opportunity to save some money and build my resume credentials so I could move to DC. However, I have had moments where I wondered what it would have been like to travel the way my brother had when he was my age.

I was lying in bed last night thinking about how much I would have liked to experience Europe, but never did because of money, relationships, time, extensive planning, etc., etc., etc. There's always an excuse not to do something.

So I am taking this opportunity to officially announce that I am going to Europe next summer! I haven't thought much about my plans, or where I will find the money to do this, but I am absolutely going.

If you have any suggestions on places to visit, or if you would like to join -- please let me know. I am also accepting donations, with checks payable to the Caitlin Wolters European Adventure Fund. So please, donate generously.

Free to be... Happy

2010-09-05T20:33:00.002-04:00

I love they way I feel during a run. It's like everything is completely lifted into the atmosphere while I move through the air, leaving the negativity behind. There's something very cathartic about the lightness that running evokes.

On Saturday I ran through Northern Virginia and into Old Towne Alexandria. For those who don't know the area, Alexandria is one of the most historic (and in my opinion, beautiful) areas of the country. George Washington referred to it as his hometown, and many of our founding fathers frequented the area in which I am fortunate enough to run.

To be honest, I don't know if I could classify Saturday's run as that, but more as a scenic moving tour along the Potomac River. At one point, I stopped to look out across the river and could clearly see the National Monument and the Capitol Building. It was breathtaking.

I thought of the people who worked to have this city built, and for those who drove the United States to become one of the most powerful nations in history.

The root of it all? Happiness.

People came here for freedom -- freedom of religion, freedom from taxation. People came for land, and for opportunity, and for wealth. People came for resources and a chance at a new life. But they all came here to be happy.

I know my happiness is the only thing that will and ever should really matter to me. If our founding fathers and our ancestors came from oppression and poverty to attain happiness, I know I can also do whatever it takes to make myself happy. I'm never going to settle for anything that I shouldn't have to, and I'm never going to let my opportunities depend on another person.

I'm better off this way.

Day One

2010-08-18T19:15:00.000-04:00

I love to write.

Ever since I was young, my dream was always to become an author -- writing book after book of award-winning material while inspiring the world with my creativity and talents. As I got older, this notion changed, mostly because it's nearly impossible to be that successful of a writer, never mind the meager pay and low gratification. But I still loved to write, and even went on to study writing and English literature in college so that I could use those skills at some point in my career.

Free writing is a bit scary though, for anyone. Having your ideas and your thoughts available to anyone at anytime is actually kind of frightening. How much do I want people knowing what goes on inside my head? I've put off starting a blog for that reason, and a few others. To me, writing has always been exceeding personal, and I've debated how much I want to share about myself and my ideas. I've also wondered who would read it, and what I would say. Would anyone really care?

I give up. Here I am. But it wasn't completely out of nowhere. I've been wanting to start this for over a year. And, lately, I've started trying to do more things outside of my box so I am never too adjusted to my comfort zone. I'm 23-years-old, and I never want to regret having the opportunity to fulfill a dream or a whim and never taking the chance.

So in the last few months, I have registered for my first marathon, applied for my Master's degree, and relocated to DC. Just because.

But this isn't a blog about doing new things and living life to the fullest. I find that a bit cliche. In fact, I don't really know what this is about. It just is. So keep reading.