Beau~Jensen's Day to Day Ramblings

I interviewed Stephen Fry

2013-09-22T23:13:00.003+01:00

I am a boy who fell in love with another boy

2013-07-17T20:44:00.002+01:00

Today, same sex marriage was legalised in England and Wales. It's the 17th of July 2013 and it has only just become legal. But rather than be bogged down with how long it has taken for my government to recognise me as an equal, how my MP voted against it, how some people feel I am disgusting and think I should die for having the feelings I do, how I've been spat at, how many years I spent in painful depression, how I would punish myself for being evil, how much of my childhood and adolescence was wasted, how I was punched in the face that time, how I was attacked on that bus, how I've felt like a second class citizen for most of my life, how I lost "friends", how I would lose sleep by praying for death as a child, how some of my family still only know my fiance as my 'close friend', how some people in other countries are imprisoned and killed for having feelings like mine, how my love still repulses some people, how Russia is being rather backwards at the moment, how some think everything is 'fine' now, how holding a boy's hand in public means I'm flaunting my sexuality to some, how making 'too many' facebook updates about LGBT rights can be overkill to others, or how much I and tens of thousands of others have had to fight - and still do - for rights that are afforded to others without question, I am choosing to be happy.

I am just a boy who fell in love with another boy.
And we will look forward to our wedding.

I Knew I Was Gay When...

2013-05-31T22:23:00.001+01:00

My Coming Out Story...

2013-03-26T18:15:00.001+00:00

My Coming out Story

'Coming Out' was one of the hardest, but most amazing things I've done. Here is my story...

Gay Confessions

2013-03-25T22:22:00.002+00:00

The Confessions of a gay man...

Equal Marriage - A Correspondence with Stephen Pound MP

2013-03-02T17:56:00.000+00:00

Equal Marriage!

In the house of commons, on the 5th of February 2013, MPs voted overwhelmingly in favour of the Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Bill, 400 for, 175 against. This does not yet make equal marriage legal, but only shows that the commons agree with it in principle and therefore, as the BBC puts it; "The legislation will now receive more detailed parliamentary scrutiny." The bill will allow civil and religious same sex marriages. Religious institutions (with the Exception of The Church of England and The Church of Wales, who oppose the bill anyway.) will be allowed to opt out of such practices.
At present, same sex couples in the United Kingdom can have a Civil Union, that allows every legal benefit that a mixed couples marriage is entitled to. But the simple differential with the terms 'union' and 'marriage' is what shows a clear inequality. The legal and consensual love between a man and another man, is every bit as meaningful, beautiful and important in our society as the legal and consensual love between a man and a woman is.

Though, I shall hold my confetti for the moment. We're not quite there yet. Although, I have postponed my own personal wedding until 2014. For the simple reason that I want a marriage. I want my love to be recognised, not only legally - but etymologically and constitutionally recognised as equal. As it should be.

Nevertheless, this came as welcomed news in our household. I then read a list that compiled how each individual MP voted and was shocked to see that my MP, Stephen Pound, voted against the bill.

So I emailed him (something I urge you to do if your MP voted against or abstained this bill of civil rights) with the following:

"I am extraordinarily disappointed that the MP that represents me in Parliament would vote against a bill that would entitle me the same rights as others. Something that would make me equal with my piers. How one can protect marriage, by blocking loving marriages is beyond me. Still, 400 to 175 shows what a minority you are in. Hopefully, the next MP for North Ealing will be more transparent, progressive and a fair and good representation of their constituents."

Certainly not the most eloquent piece I've ever written, I'd be a fool to deny that I wrote with a touch of anger. But that anger and upset was nothing compared to what I felt after I received his response. I have scanned his full response and posted it at the bottom of this blog. What immediately follows, is my letter in return.

Dear Stephen Pound,
I trust this note find you well. Thank you for your response to original correspondence.
I can't, however, in any way express that I was satisfied with it in any way. Firstly, it is clearly a blanket note that you send to anyone who questioned your actions. This is fine in one sense, as I am sure you are a very busy person and this aids you to portion your time constructively. But it did not however answer my question. Secondly, you have clearly demonstrated that you have no tenable grasp on the subject or the bill itself. Allow me to disseminate:

You wrote; “…I find myself in real difficulty over this particular issue.”

Why? Nowhere in your response did you explain where your difficulties lay. Sure, you try to explain your reasoning, but where do your difficulties lay? What conflicting issues are giving you difficulties? Is it perhaps because you are Roman Catholic?

You go on to explain that you “…voted enthusiastically to repeal Section 28… and for the equalisation of the age of consent, gay adoptions, civil partnerships, the removal of the bar on gay men and women serving in the Armed Forces and for all other equality issues.”

Do you want me to say 'well done'? Because I will. Well done. You voted for subjects that categorically deserved to be voted for. To vote against them would have been wrong, which you clearly understand owing to the fact that you voted for them. so I reiterate, WELL DONE.

Though, I find it odd that you mentioned them. It's reminiscent of a doctor who is being accused of murder stating 'but, I saved so many other people!' Although, are you simply referencing these because they are issues that affect people who might wish to have a same sex marriage? Because that would be wrong. They affect everyone. Section 28 was wrong. It was a terrible clause and it's removal makes our society less segregated as a whole, as did equalising the age of consent. A child who is adopted by a same sex couple is one more child in a loving home regardless of the sexuality of the adopters. Or, were you looking for kudos? I bungee jumped to raise money for retired greyhounds a few years ago, so we both do good things but none of these are the topic at hand.

You write that you are “…unconvinced by any argument…” in support of gay marriage. So this means you must vote against it. Is it that black and white for you? Perhaps you should have abstained, if you don’t understand what you are voting for. Do you think the people that voted for the bill only did so because they were unconvinced for the argument against, or they were sure that voting for was the right thing to do?

You have spoken to same-sex couples who show no “…burning desire to change the law…”. What?! This shocks me. And the thoughts of the few drew you to affect what was right for the many? Anyway, you have now spoken to me and my desire to change the law is up in a raging fire – so you no longer can use this statement as fact.

“It is my opinion that many people do not fully understand that if the law was changed to allow same-sex marriages it would have absolutely no impact on religious organisations as it would merely allow civil marriages to take place…”

Your opinion is important, everyone's is. But if your opinion is that people do not understand something, what are you doing to educate them? Also, you are wrong. The bill would allow religious organisations to perform same sex marriages if they so wished. Besides, if this were true, please explain to me what the difference between civil marriage and civil partnership would be, but for a word?

“…merely allow civil marriages to take place…” Merely? Are you suggesting that civil marriages are not as important as religious ones? Are they lesser somehow? Insignificant in comparison? Please explain to me what you mean by 'merely'. I am a person and I know a lot of people and we all fully understand that this bill refers to civil marriages with the possibility of religious ones with the consent of a particular counsel. And that is what we want. I am not religious. But, if I was, I would not want to be married in a church that did not agree with it. I would not be a part of a religion that saw my consensual, legal and loving relationship as sinful. As for others... this is not a matter of spiritual awaking.

You say you are “…perturbed…” that some MPs shift their position. Why does this perturb you? You, yourself say you have difficulty with it! Besides, what has this got to do with what we are talking about? We are talking about your position. The shadow outside my window sometimes perturbs me when I’m half a sleep, but shall we both stick to the topic at hand?

You comment that a supporter of same-sex marriage said that he didn’t want same sex marriage to ape marriage in any sense. Why are you telling me this? Are you passing the buck? Are you highlighting other peoples downfalls in excuse of your own? Are you not just ‘aping’ others? You've merely shown to me that there is perhaps someone else I should be writing to.

“…the legislation only made sense if it was assumed that places of religious worship would be included in the future” As much as I am against discriminating against homosexuals and also do not agree with organised religion, I by no way approve of forcing organisations to go against their beliefs. As much as I should have the right to marry the man I love, people of faith have the right to believe what they do. Also, did you even read the bill? I did. And yes, it bans the Church of England and the Church of Wales from participating in same sex marriage. But this is what they want. What 'perturbs' me is that they are upset by being excluded from something they wish to stay banned! Besides, and I feel I have to explain this to you because you clearly were not paying attention to Maria Miller (she is the Culture Secretary) and her 'quadruple lock'. If either the Church of England or Wales wished to opt in, it would require a change to primary legislation and a change to canon law. But why would they? And why would we include them on this bill, when they show nothing but adverse objection to it? If you bother to notice this 'quadruple lock', it would have eased another worry of yours. "The airily dismissed threat of legal challenge looks pretty likely to me." One of the triple locks states that the Equality Act of 2010 would be amended to reflect the fact that no discrimination claims could be brought to individual ministers or religious organisations who felt that same sex marriages went against their beliefs.

“marriage does have a specific legal and religious definition in this country.” Yes, yes it does and this is what we are trying to change. As it has been changed many times in the past. It is how the Church of England came about in the first place. Is this not clear to you?

“none of the legal benefits of marriage are currently denied to same sex couples…” I understand this. But what you need to understand that by clarifying differing titles, and by you personnely using language such as ‘merely’ shows an in equality that would be diminished by this bill.

You also keep referring to religious bodies and their beliefs and stand points. You do realise that you do not work or answer to these religious bodies. You represent the people of your jurisdiction, regardless of their religious beliefs. And their religious opinions should not have any effect on equality. Nor should yours.

You refer to equal marriage as an “…essentially empty commitment…” Would you care to elabourate? You need to understand that I want a civil marriage, not a civil partnership. By separating the two you are saying that they are different. The union is different. It is not. You also state it is patronising. Actually, saying that you “…appreciate the need to show love and respect for gay lesbian and transgendered people…” is patronising. I do not want your love or respect, those things are earned, I want equality. I want the right to get married. As an equal.

You say that “Homophobia in schools and the work place is a far more significant matter…” I couldn’t agree more. So, what are you doing to eradicate this? Also, do you not think that equalising marriage for homosexuals would show those proposing homophobic matters that they are in the wrong. No. By voting no on this, you have demonstrated to millions that a homosexual relationship is not on par with a heterosexual one.

You state that you found it “…painful in the extreme that opponents of last night’s bill were characterised as bigots, whilst supporters were described as people who demanded equality for lesbian, gay and transgender people.” This is something you have done yourself in your letter. Besides, why did you find it painful that supporters were described as people who demanded equality? This is a civil rights matter.

I hope you read my letter carefully. Think about it. And if you find the time, kindly respond and actually answer the questions, without blaming others, contradicting yourself or straying from the subject.

My warmest regards and kindest wishes,
Beau-Jensen.

It's Your Time of Gay!

2013-02-15T15:58:00.001+00:00

50 Shades of Grey in 50 Accents

2013-01-11T20:21:00.003+00:00

50 Shades of Grey, page 50, read in 50 dubious impressions / accents.

"That idiot was riding the wrong way. East London
I'm glad I was here. New York
I shudder to think what could have happened to you. Nelson Mandela
Do you want to come and sit down in the hotel for a moment?" Australian
He releases me, Chinese
His hands by his sides, Welsh
And I'm standing in front of him feeling like a fool. Gollum
With a shake, Jamaican
I clear my head. Swedish
I just want to go. California

All my vague, unarticulated hopes have been dashed. Hilary Devey
He doesn't want me. A 20s Jane Austin Character
What was I thinking? Cher
I scold myself. Texas -- Southern B elle
What would Chritian Grey want with you? Liverpudlian
my subconscious mocks me. If I worked on a boat
I wrap my arms around myself Kermit the frog
and turn to face the road Margaret thatcher
and note with relief that the green man has appeared. Nigeria
I quickly made my way across, Maury

conscious that grey is behind me. French
Outside the hotel room. Sexy French
I turn briefly to face him Mickey Mouse
but cannot look him in the eye. Tom cruise
"Thanks for the tea and doing the photo shoot.! Scottish - glasgow
I murmur. German
"Anastasia... Russian
I..." Ali G
He stops, Britney Spears
And the anguish in his voice Stephen Hawking

Demands my attention, Irish
So I peer unwillingly up at him. Biggest loser
His gray eyes are bleak South African
As he runs his hand through his hair. My Aunt Wendy
He looks torn, Chritina aquileria
Frustrated, Prince Philip
His expression stark, My therapist
All his careful control has evapourated. South London
"What, Christian?" Contemplating religion
I snap irritably after he says... nothing. Spanish

I just want to go. Geordie
I need to take my fragile, wounded pride away Indian
And somehow nurse it back to health. The clown....
"Good luck with your exams." Mr Hanky
He murmurs Marlee matlin
Huh? Kristen Stuart
This is why he looks so desolate? Italian
This is the big send off? Barry Scott
Just to wish me luck in my exams? Mexican
"Thanks!" I can't disguise the sarcasm in my voice West country

End of the World! 2012

2012-12-13T22:21:00.000+00:00

Script:

So, the 21^st of December 2012 is the end of the Maya calendar, and therefore the end of the world. This is of course nonsense, but what if it’s not?

(Open your Christmas Presents Now people!!!)

What if the apocalypse is coming, and we’re all sat around waiting for our knickers to dry whilst the Jellyfish get their game on!?!?!!

But what can I do? I’ve been warning you all about the jellyfish for years now, and no-one listens. All I can do is make this video. I’m ok now

This video is for those of you in 3012, whose ancestors somehow survived. Probably traitors who sucked up to the Jelly overloads! Proud of yourselves? With your Swiss accents.

Anyhow, time capsule will explain what life was like before the Jellyfish took over. A kinder time. A less wobbly time. A time where one could partake in a trifle.

So, we have these things called cows, and we squeeze on their boobies until white stuff comes out, and then we whip it up and freeze it, then we put it on something called an ice-cream cone and then we lick it. We’re disgusting.

If the cow doesn’t make tasty enough frozen licking juice, then we cut of its bottom, mince it up, put it in a box with the word happy on it and feed it to our young.

Our young are thrown into deep water at a very young age to teach them to swim. Something my mother didn’t care enough to do. Which is probably why I wont do so well under the reign of the jellyfish. Thanks mum!

Speaking of water, or liquid air as you probably call it, We wait 100’s of millions years for sea bugs and algae slime to pressure cook into a black sludge and put it into these wheeled machines to get us to places faster.

But, by the time it’s ready, the wrong people own it. And that’s terrible. So we kill them, and call it the very right peaceful war on terrible people. Or war on terror for short.

We have to shorten things because we wasted the best part of 200,000 years trying to walk upright, and the best part of the past 2000 years drinking so much alcohol to test our abilities.

That’s why we use horoscopes to help us live our day to day lives. Written by Claire Voyant, the highest regarded person in our society who “reads” stars and planets to predict our futures depending on the month they were born in. Not me though, I think it’s all crap. That’s because I’m a leo and that makes me a sceptic.

Speaking of sceptic, some idiots don’t believe in our bible, which is basically, a loooooong, horoscope written by a man called god, who is huge, and he forces us to have free will,

but if in doubt, the bible reminds us to kill witches, have slaves, kill children who back chat, let strangers rape our daughters instead of each other, build big boats full of animals

(but no dinosaurs or JELLYFISH),

talk to snakes, not to eat pork unless god isn’t looking, never where synthetic material, fashion faux pas, or cut your hair.

And everyone who believes in the bible, except the intolerable ones who took double science at school, does all of those things daily, especially slay a gay a day. This is all taught to us by a virgin man in a frock every Sunday who tells us we’re bad and then makes us drink more alcohol and 2000 year old dead messiah.

We have to eat him, there was no room to bury him, as we ran out of room after the great dinosaur prank of 23BC.

We have dinosaur competitions to see who can collect them all, not that we like competition, if an animal gets too good at surviving we kill them and call them vermin,

But I digress, whilst we dig for dinosaurs or pokemon, we dig up metal from the ground. This isn’t wasted though, it’s a biproduct - along with paper from trees and we use this as something called currency. All that means is, if you don’t have enough paper or metal, or the digital representation in the form of plastic, see war on terror, then you can’t eat.

But that’s a good thing, because the most successful sign of being human is being surrounded by food but staying uber skinny. If we’re not happy with our bodies, we can just simply give some of this metal

to a greedy man with a phd and he will cut bits off of us and even shove some of the metal we call silicon back in.

Or even knock all your teeth out and replace them with bathroom tiles, which we brush clean in the morning only to dirty them up with breakfast that you bought from a 24 hour store with a lock on the door made by a lock smith whose name will never be smith who will tell you about a job he did in an airport in the city which is where we moved all our borders to after the invention of the aeroplane which is more of that metal stuff in the shape of a fat bird, and flies, though non of us understand how, and this is probably why some people are scared of flying which is classed as a phobia, where I am scared of crashing which is what we call a rational fear, I don’t have any phobias. Although I’m closet claustrophobic.

And perhaps a little mysophobic, which means I’m “irrationally” scared of germs, not miso soup as my mum thought, which is why I have two showers a day, no baths, I wont wash in my own miso soup, but most only have one shower a day which is better than 100 years ago when one would be lucky to have one bath a year. So, accordingly to my math, in the year 3012, the average person will take one about 4000 times a day. Huh, you may aswell just live in water. Oh, I bet the jelly fish love that! …

The jelly fish are lovely. We will love the jelly fish. They are not at all disgusting, nor do they make me sick in my mouth a little bit. All hail the Jellyfish. The jjj jellyfish are peaceful. They are not evil, but kind beings who would probably save that one legged orphan from that tree that's on fire, oh no, that squirrel has aids and is heading towards the orphan. Not to worry, the jelly fish are here to save the day. The sexy, sexy jelly fish.

T. (T-Shirt Song)

2012-12-02T17:44:00.002+00:00

I like T-Shirts! Lyrics below!
Why not Share and Subscribe for more? It's free! Also, come and say hi on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/beaujensen
Thanks for watching!
Love bugs and bear hugs!
Beau-Jensen. xXx~oOo!

Fun facts:
This tool me;
Two hours to write
An hour to record
Two hours of audio editing
Six hours to film
12 hours to edit
I used 135 T Shirts
My favourite T shirt was in the wash and did not make it into the video.
I also chaffed one nipple during filming, sue to the constant taking on and off of t shirts. The right one.

Lyrics: Wear a t-shirt, just to rock it -- wear a t shirt just because I can
I don't use my pocket just to make sure that I'm still a man
London, Paris, NYC or just eBay it from Japan
Naked kitty -- boxing kitty - Hello kitty -- superman

Got an itch in my crotch and I got snot on my nose
I'll be funking my t-shirt - with my flow it goes
You might be striking your hoes, but I'll be striking a pose
Red, orange, white, blue green, pink flamingos

I'll wear a t shirty to let you know where I'm at
1930, voting Ernie, strip club, stroking my cat
What I'm drinking, riding, eating and what's making me phat
This one tells you I'm random and this one calls you a twat

I got this one on sale, it was just 6 99
Nabbed it from a lady she was frail - kick to the spine
Sure it don't fit and make me look like a blimp
I walk with a limp the foot that kicked her was mine

Send an invitation, to your party and you want me to show
One complication, black tie, like décolletage, that's pretty low
I'll rsvp with a circle round the no
No buttons, no stripes, no t-shirt and no beau

Yeah I'm a t-shirt boy, I'm a youtube star
The force is with me, I'm a space invader
I'm the target pink, I'm in the house or in the car,
at the gallery in green or at the cinema

Wear a t shirt -- just to rock it -- wear a t shirt jus because I can
I don't use my pocket just to make sure I'm still a man
London, Paris, NYC or just, eBay it from Japan
Naked kitty -- boxing kitty - Hello kitty -- superman

I got a major itch in my crotch I got snot on my nose
I'll be funking my t-shirt because with my flow it goes
You might be striking your hoes, but I'll be striking a pose
Red, orange, white, blue green, pink flamingos

Pause

Sometimes I can't be funky, can't be monkey can't be punky -- cat
Winds be blowing, bling be showing, nobody got time for that
Went to school fool, momma did not raise no prat
And if things get too cool, I can put on a hat

But if it's hot and I'm sweating, and not looking my best
I can just roll up my sleeves or cheat and put on a vest
But I can't stand it too long, not much longer than an hour
I'll put my t-shirt back on, and I can cool off in cold shower

Sometimes I might throw some plaid into the fold
Or some awesome hoody if any of that shirt gets cold
But don't worry, there's no hurry, no I won't get hurt
Guess what, unzip, underneath, t-shirt

Wear a t shirt -- just to rock it -- wear a t shirt jus because I can
I don't use my pocket just to make sure I'm still a man
London, Paris, NYC or just, eBay it from Japan
Naked kitty -- boxing kitty - Hello kitty -- superman

I got a major itch in my crotch I got snot on my nose
I'll be funking my t-shirt because with my flow it goes
You might be striking your hoes, but I'll be striking a pose
Red, orange, white, blue green, pink flamingos

How To Get A Boyfriend

2012-11-24T17:18:00.002+00:00

How To Get A Boyfriend!!! xXx~oOo!

America! VOTE!

2012-11-05T20:56:00.000+00:00

Oh, hi America!

It's the rest of the World here!
How are you?
You are ever so splendid!
Powerful and big and pretty and
you have awesome theme parks.

We all love your movies,
think that Oprah is better than
any Queen and really cannot
thank you enough for taking
Piers Morgan off our hands. We
all breathed a sigh of relief when
that little shit got on the
boat.
We think so fondly of you,
you’re like our teenage kid.
Full of life, hope and
enthusiasm,
with the odd pimple and
you’re not shy about
making mistakes. We have
forgiven you for 'spray on
cheese' and have even
accepted your spelling of
‘thru’.
Anyhow, we hear
you have an election
coming up. How exciting!
It is your right and
privilege to vote and you must
do so. Voting is so
important, and yours is one of
the most important
elections going! You are in
charge of making a decision
that affects us all.
So, on the 6th of
November, 2012,
exercise that amazing
entitlement and show the world
what you think.

And umm… do vote
for whom you deem
most appropriate
for the job.

But not Mitt. Please
not Mitt! Seriously,
Mitt is a wally. He's
a prat. We don't like
him. We’ve all been
talking about him
and we all agree
that he makes us
sick.
Like, vomit-in-your-
mouth-and-
swallow-it-and-
then-it-burns-for-
about-an-hour sick!
We are not a fan!

So vote! Voting is
your right and you
must have your
voice heard! And
please, let us hear it
say: "Four more
years of Obama!"

Much love and smile
always!
xXx~oOo!

Amanda Todd - A life wasted

2012-10-16T00:05:00.000+01:00

Such a devastating story. May our thoughts be with her friends and family, and may our actions speak louder than their words! Don't suffer in silence and don't stand by and watch someone be bullied!
We've already lost Amanda Todd, Ryan Halligan, Tyler Clementi, Jamey Rodemeyer and countless others. Let's not lose any more.

Much love and smile always,
Beau~Jensen
xXx~oOo!

My twitter: http://www.twitter.com/beaujensen

My Marriage Proposal (gay)

2012-09-06T09:58:00.000+01:00

GAY MEN CAN GIVE BLOOD

2011-09-09T08:44:00.000+01:00

France Bans the Burqa

2011-04-12T22:38:00.002+01:00

PRO-GAY MARRIAGE! An Open Letter to the Arch Bishop of Canterbury

2011-03-17T23:31:00.004+00:00

Dear Dr. Rowan Willaims

I do trust this note finds you well

Wow. So I hear now, you will never throw in the towel on the decision to allow homosexual couples in your buildings to take their vows.

I don’t see how, oh holier than thou, that if you unfurrow your brow and bow then endow same sex couples to avow their love – that this would take down the institution of marriage. Unions between same sex marriages are no different to those of heterosexuals. Especially that now no longer have to a bride a virgin be, have to a groom a soul sin free, an alien to the term divorcee (Mark 10:9) and do we stone them as in Deuteronomy? No. (Deuteronomy 22:13-21)

Do all married couples breed, can all heterosexuals sow their seed, would you turn away those whom – for children – want or have no need? No.

Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind (Leviticus 18:22 King James) – believe me, I don’t intend to.

Just as childless widows no longer has to bear the fruit of her brother in law in levirate doo (Deuteronomy 25:5-6)

The bible tells us not to mix two kinds of cloth, as you see to misconstrue (Leviticus 19:19)

Although it doesn’t mention, the dinosaur or kangaroo. And don’t even get me started on the talking donkey in Numbers 22.

One rule for one and another for the rest of us, especially those who create a fuss. You’ll marry those who sin, rape, spill blood and cuss or eat pork and have haircuts as damned in Leviticus.

Perhaps, there’s something I don’t understand – ‘He’s liberal’ they said, and this meant he

will bring much needed change, to the church and of time we have plenty

After all, “there is more hope for a fool, than for someone who speaks without thinking”! (Proverbs 29:20 new living)

Every part of me is just as capable of having a relationship with man that equates in every way to “a marriage”!

The church has never been weaker, ‘tis daft to carry on this jolly.

As those you choose to confuse, will choose not to have their bums on pews and will use, elsewhere, their lolly.

Aw, go on back to the good book, where you abuse and misuse words then decorate it with holly Proverbs 26:11, “as a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.”

Is your bible really that gospel anymore, or am I being callow?

A contradiction in terms, pick and choose the parts you wish to believe and follow.

Using the bits that work for you, in a translation that suits, is shallow.

A truth, that is hard to swallow.

Two consenting adults in love, is a beautiful thing. Such bonds from the rooftops – we do sing, where no bells ring, yet you thought it right to bring forth and cement your dated views. Albeit behind closed doors. That’s the thing. For love should be proud, just as your god is.

Luke 18:9-14 Do not boast of your virtue.

Romans 11:20, I Peter 5:5 Do not be proud.

Romans 15:17, II Corinthians 1:12, Hebrews 3:6, II Corinthians 2:14, 5:12, 11:17 Paul boasts of his faith and says that one should be proud of it.)

‘Tis only two reasons you won’t be drawn to talk publically on the subject, shame and fear that you’ll push even more followers away from your dying religion.

Based on fable and parable, then through centuries of editing and several translations, the bible is not to be taken literally. Which part of the bible are you going to ignore next or put through your deliberately – self satisfying, infiltration?

I feel, it’s close, indemnification. For how long can one push this propagation? Through changing times and many translation, it will come soon and is time for a new adaptation. As the enemy of humans enriched by organised religion is segregation. Yet even still, in my own personal divination, I would offer my seat, rosy cheeked, for you to park with no grudge born. But, am I to stand there and accept your proliferation or negation.

I am good. This does not need to be vilified. I am kind and yet still objectified. I am honest, yet still ostracised. Something that, by your church, can be rectified. I am giving, yet so much is taken away and reclassified. I am a second class citizen.

You know, Doctor assured, that your book is flawed and whilst the adored good can not be ignored. The violence and hate that’s stored within its words are abhorred, by the bored majority. You are condoning one of the last remaining bigotries to strike a chord with the last strand of conservatries moored.

Women talking in churches, you longer deprive. 1 Corinthians 14:34-35

Not being allowed to have Christmas trees, took a nose dive – Jeremiah 10:2-5

An unclean, cud chewing bunny rabbits at Easter do thrive (Leviticus 11:6) (cough pagan)

Yet a union of love, is what you choose to deprive.

And yes, I am more than happy with civil unions. I’ve been to some with tears in my eyes.

But by differentiating between the two, and stating that there is a need to have a divide, this is where the in equality lies.

What do I care, if you continue to ban marriage if one is gay.

I plan to wed in a wicked cool stately home anyway.

You just strike me, as particularly and wildly unchristian, in the worst of ways.

Yours,

Beau~Jensen

Tags: arch bishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams Gay Marriage homosexual civil union Christian catholic church of England and open letter by Beau Jensen beau1618 discrimination homophobia hate crime noh8

It Gets Better!

2010-10-03T13:09:00.004+01:00

It Gets Better!

The ‘It Gets Better’ project, by Dan Savage, is a beautiful response to the devastating and sad fact that suicide in homosexual teenagers is on the rise.

Being a teenager is tough enough as it is, without the added pressure of feeling like a pariah as a direct result of ones’ own, NATURAL, feelings.

So here is my message to you. You who feels there is nothing else to live for and you can’t go on. You, who feels like an outsider in your own community, school or even in your own home. You, who feels alone. You, who feels dirty, unnatural and even evil. You, who really isn’t you, as the ‘you’ you want to be has to be disguised. You, who wants to fight pain with pain. You, who has no more tears to cry. You! Listen!

IT GETS BETTER!

I give you my personal guarantee!

Now, I’m not saying you will have a perfect life, absent from problems and troubles, far from it. In fact, I wish you a life full of obstacles and challenges – how else will you grow? But I can promise you, that awful situation you’ve been put in by a narrow minded society will ease. You will grow. Being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered IS NORMAL! And whoever is telling you otherwise IS WRONG, and they are the ones who should feel ashamed! NOT YOU!

I know, when you’re feeling as you are, that it is hard to take in such advice. No-one understands you and you’re feeling ever so isolated. But, darling, sweetheart, dearest – trust me when I say, I understand. Millions of people understand. Millions of people past understood and word knows how many in the future will understand too.

Picture yourself giving advice to someone who is in your position, right now. What would you say? You would comfort them, ensuring them they are not alone and that IT WILL GET BETTER! So, take a leaf out of your own book! Trust in yourself. Love yourself. It will get better!

If you still cannot see the silver lining or the light at the end of the tunnel – then do me one favour. Actually, no, do yourself one favour. Prove me wrong! But to do this, you have to stick around! Suicide is not the answer! I am so glad that my own suicide attempts went wrong. As I sit and type this now, I bless the fact that I am alive. You see, for me – as it will you, it got better! Suicide would not have proved a thing. The bigots would still be bigoted. The idiots would still be idiotic. The fools, still foolish! And the haters would still be licking plug sockets – or whatever it is they do to fill their days. But, I didn’t die. I grew. I proved them wrong. I showed my worth and It got better!

If still in doubt, please reach out for help – before making the biggest and last mistake of your short life. If you can, talk to a friend, a school counsellor, a teacher, a parent, a relative, someone! If not, you have access to the internet – as you’re reading this – and there is a wealth of knowledge, advice and help out there, already set up and waiting for you to contact them! I could list the thousands of agencies and charities there are in the world, but it would be far easier and more concise if you simply google ‘Your country’ ‘your state/city/town’ and then some keywords about your situation. E.g. bullying, suicidal, gay, help, advice, depression, teenage, parents...

Never give over your identity. If you’re asked for it, you’re on the wrong site.

So please, show the world the you that you want to be! Show the world how wonderful you are! The world is a massive place and you have every right to enjoy it! Give it time, and you will blossom into a special, beautiful, loved, respectable and respected individual that will one day soon say “It got better!”

Be safe, be happy – and for the love of life BE YOURSELF!

I LIKE MY NEW HAIR SO MUCH... I WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT.

2010-07-03T00:11:00.000+01:00

Jancing: How I keep fit.

2010-06-29T21:23:00.005+01:00

Up until a few years ago, I was a dancer by trade. I adored it and it kept me super fit. But then work started to dry up, pay got increasingly poor and the jobs got decidedly seedier. Plus, my competition seemed to be getting younger and being Asian fell out of fashion, which were things I couldn’t really work on. So I gave that up for the glamorous world of sitting on my bottom in front of a computer. This was when I put on a few ‘ell bees’. Now, I’ve suffered from poor body image and eating disorders, but during the times I was on an up – I couldn’t be prouder of my body. And because I led such an active lifestyle, which I loved dearly, I never felt as though I had to work ‘hard’ to keep it trim. N.B. I am in no way suggesting that the few pounds I put on were at all excessive, but they were there and they were very unwelcome. But how to get rid of them? I’m not a fan of dieting, for three reasons:

1) I eat well and healthily already.
2) Due to my history with bulimia, any other restrictions or habits introduced to food might prove unhelpful – detrimental even.
And 3) They don’t work.

Nope, the only way of doing it was to maintain my yummy vegetarian ways and exercise more. For I while, I needed to ensure I was burning more than I was putting in, and now I’m happy – I keep it steady. All in proportion. Work hard and play hard. So, what did replace those hours in the studio and on stage? Bog standard exercise? I’m not a fan of exercise for exercise sake. I find it dull. There are only so many convenient jogs one can take before you utter lugubriously; “Seen it”. Audio books are smashing for a walk, but I can’t very well immerse myself in a Tolstoy whilst sweating from mine. And despite knowing how good it is for me and how lovely my body looks because of it, I find basic, get fit, exercise frustratingly pointless. I also cannot bare gyms. I far prefer getting exercise by proxy. Walking the dogs, working on the farm, gardening, housework, playing Frisbee with my friends kids, rowing on the Serpentine, a good game of British Bulldog, a good rampant sex session (although it’s been a while) or – my favourite – dancing in a club until I can’t see the dawn through the sweat. All glorious activities and great ways to stay in shape. But they are all very time consuming, best done with others and take such organisation. Whilst I still enjoy and partake in those (minus the sex, sigh), I needed more. Something easy to do, cheap, embarked upon within a whim and completed solo (now, now, behave!). And I found it. And I call it... Jancing!
“HOW DOES ONE JANCE?” I hear no-one cry, but I’ll tell you anyhow:

1) Load you IPod with guilty pleasure songs until cheese is oozing from the side of the screens.
2) Dress up in sexy jogging gear. I prefer the short short, a hoody with plunging neck line, a cheeky t-shirt and matching sweatbands – [matching sweatbands mostly obtained by simply by cutting the sleeves and collar from your t-shirt and customising appropriately)
3) Then go jogging, but dance the entire time!

Now, I’m aware of how daft this is and though I’m not one who will normally shy away as a result of what others think –I do reserve this very private and sensual act to my Wii whilst in London and to the bridal paths whilst in the country. And let me tell you – it’s fantastic. Liberating even. Much more beneficial than a simple jog, and the edge is taken off because your having so much fun. So, give it a go! Go and Jance! Oh, it might be worth mentioning here that I coined the term ‘Jance’, as my only other choice was ‘Dog’. And I wasn’t very well prepared to tell you all to go ‘Dogging’!

Jogging + Dancing = Jancing

(remainder: fun and sexy)

Try it. Let me know how you go.
Until next time, you scrumptious pieces of humanity, much love and smile always, Beau~Jensen. xXx~oOo

You've got a friend...

2010-06-21T13:16:00.010+01:00

What a laverly weekend. Each year, for the past four (except last year), Jason, Gill and I go out.

We go to a museum or a gallery in London, followed by a walk along the embankment. We have

supper in same standard, yet scrummy yum yum,

restaurant and go clubbing or to a concert (or, as we did this time, both.) It’s become

affectionately known as a ‘losers reunion’. Not that we

really need a reunion, we see each other all the time and for the

first two years, we worked with each other

everyday.

But, hey ho, any excuse... We also have a winner of

‘Losers Day’, settled upon three points. House, marital status and

job. Now, don’t think we actually base our happiness on these rather superficial things – it’s all very much a tongue a cheek thing. That said, I normally lose. Or win as the case may be. This year, I won hands down. Becoming celibate, being basically homeless and

deciding to try my luck as a writer made sure of it! The reason we

didn’t have one last year was because I was so massively

depressed, I couldn’t face going out. But this is why I’m blogging

about it.

Just being with people who adore

you and whom you adore – is the best tonic. It might seem obvious, but sometimes I forget. I’m truly

blessed when it comes to friends. Namely Natalie, Jean, Claire, Ria, Emma, Angie, Jason and Gill (in chronological order – ha ha

ha). And I am under no illusion as to how lucky I am to have these wonderful people in my life. When you’re feeling down, wobbly, blue, yukky, low and other things too, it is so important not to suffer alone.

Being with someone

who

knows you in and out is brilliant. I can always rely on one of them, when I’m having some ‘down time’ to say “Snap out of it you twat, we’ve got things to do.” For me, that really works. I’ve never been one who has ever enjoyed or relished or courted being pandered too, or felt sorry for. That sort of attention makes me cringe and squirm. I far prefer to be whipped back into sense. Although, I can’t - for one moment -pretend that that’s all it takes. But to have someone, anyone, who knows you so well, who just needs to make a fart joke to put a smile on your face, is a divine blessing. One (or, indeed, eight) of which I am truly thankful for.

I never really had a friend until I was 16, so I

really can contrast and reflect and appreciate every moment I have with them. Just as I did this weekend. And I can never be reminded too many times, of how much love I get. A very lucky boy indeed. Of course, during my wobbly moments I find it hard to believe this – but sooner or later, I’ll get my bottom kicked back into gear. Smashing. And this is what the past weekend has done for me. I was a little wobbly but, after five minutes with Gill and Jason, I was swiftly reminded that in the grander scheme of things, it’s not that bad at all. We had a great day. A long walk, window

shopping, making crude jokes that only us three seem to find funny, we partook in our traditional ‘let’s be tourists’ photo sessions (which we repeat yearly – see photymagraphs), saw lots of elephants!?!?, and had a lush pizza with, er... some wine, yup, I’m pretty sure there was wine! We then went to see a concert by ‘The Pink Singers’, with whom our friend Andrew sings.

A wonderful concert, most enjoyable (eagerly fed by my new obsession with ‘Glee’!) Then we met up with another friend, Mark, and went for a dance. That’s where my memory gets hazy. All I know is, I had a wonderful time, we danced until I was soaked with sweat and the lights came on. I got home unscathed. A

good night. I’m most certainly still on a high. When I think of the premise of the day, sure I’m a loser. No house, no husband, a pipe dream for a job. Yup, most certainly, a loser. But, one with awesome (in every sense of the word) friends. Would having a marital home paid for by an incredible job make me happier? Maybe. But if it meant not having these astonishing and beautiful people in my life... then I’d rather be a loser any day.

Sniffle, Snort, Sneeze!

2010-06-07T13:02:00.001+01:00

Guffaw! Well, I enjoy the sneezing. Sometimes. Argh! I despise hay fever (allergic rhinitis)! It’s truly awful. Over the course of this blog, I shall go into all sorts of conditions that I have or have had. I’ve already mentioned the depression, and touched on the bulimia. I’ve also had a multitude of interesting operations, I have chronic asthma, prosopagnosia, I’m partially deaf in one ear and amongst a multitude of other things, I’ve even had a small tumour on my lung. Plus, all in all, I’ve been resuscitated 9 nine times – Ha! In your face, cats! Crikey, when listed like that, it all sounds rather awful and I’m coming across as a tiny Tim figure. Far from it. Whilst I’ve spent a large amount of time in hospital, my memories are not shrouded by it. I’m very active, and always have been apart from a few weeks here and there. I’ve always been able to do what everyone else can – and if I’m honest, more at times. I was even a dancer for a few years, so I certainly seek no sympathy for these ailments. We’ve all had our trials. If all our problems were placed on a table, I like to believe that I would take mine back. I know how to deal with them. And my tribulations far outweigh any glitches I’ve had on my timeline. Plus, touch wood – desperately trying not to tempt fate, I’ve never experienced someone close to me dying yet, so I’m not complaining. Well, I will complain about one thing. One thing that, I think, stands in my way. Whilst other conditions have ruined a day for me, they’ve been serious enough to constitute such turns of the event. Whereas this one is so utterly daft, it annoys the pants off of me. Hay fever. The bane of my existence. I hate it. My face goes puffy, my nose itches beyond belief and bleeds when it feels like it, swollen nasal turbinates, middle ear effusion, my asthma flairs up, my throat tickles, my eyes get sore and inflate, there’s SNOT everywhere and there is not a tissue soft enough to stop my nostril, philtrum and lips from chapping. Despite being medicated up to the adenoids with tablets, nasal sprays and other anti histemic gadgetry doodars for a large chunk of the year, it still manages to – excuse me – get up my nose. I hear that there is a course of injections, soon to be available, which will – gasp – eradicate the issue all together.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1848583.stm
I shan’t hold my breath, but I shall eagerly await it. Crikey oh me oh my, I do and a half moan! Ha! I promise a higher percentage of my posts will be about positive and fun things. As usual, I’ve covered the topic in a silly video, below. Te he. Until tomorrow...
Much love and smile always,
Beau~Jensen
xXx~oOo.

Depression...

2010-06-06T16:06:00.007+01:00

It’s been just over a year since I started twit twat tweeting on twitter and being silly on YouTube, and quite a year it’s been. It all started from a suggestion from a therapist. In early 2009 I found myself in a dark place. Inconsolable. I had known I had manic depression for a while, but my episodes were sporadic and short. Still, very exhausting but, very controllable – well, I lived with it. I both loved and hated it, funnily enough. The highs were glorious, I could produce so much work and still party with the best of them and although both ends of my candle were burning – white hot – my candle was made of steel. But then there are the lows. This period was quite the worst ‘Down Time’ – as I call it – that I had ever had, before or since. I wasn’t happy in my job, my bulimia was rife, my gambling was pushing me into debt, plus very slight self harm... I sank lower and lower. They weren’t the cause of this slump, simply contributing factors. My family life has always been odd and I was in a very bad relationship. I wish to refrain from speaking too much about any ex-boyfriends and family members for the time being, as certain situations are still a bit sore, but in time, as I come to terms with things, I shall feel more confident speaking about those issues. Anyhow, as I mentioned before – whilst they may have been contributing factors towards this ‘Down Time’, ultimately, they didn’t make me bipolar.

My head felt inflated, painfully, I had a permanent lump in my throat, I failed to shower, I would wallow for days in bed - only surfacing to go to the bathroom, medication made me feel worse, despite throwing most meals up I managed to put on a stone or two and over the following year I spent a stint or two in “A special place, where [I] could rest.”. Indeed, a very ugly time in my life. I would even, at some points, howl. I don’t know why. I don’t even know if it helped. I just did it. Like most things surrounding this issue, it didn’t make sense. I would reason, constantly, but this awful thing takes over. I didn’t lose my mind, I lost my soul. Or so I felt. My days were spent thinking of how I could stop this. After two or three desperate, attention seeking attempts on my life – one of which ending up in a very unglamorous and embarrassing stomach pumping, I decided to make some changes. I quit my very unsympathetic job, broke things off from my turbulent long term relationship, turned my back on my gorgeous Georgian terrace in Islington, took out a very ill advised loan and left my beloved London for the broad Broads of Norfolk.

Not the lovely and fluffy and quaint Norfolk. I found myself in the faux ritzy and not so glitzy region of Norfolk. Away from my friends, away from my animals, away from home, away from 24 hour shops and away from food that wasn’t dipped in fat or sugar. I vaguely kept in touch with a few people, but choosing to mostly cut myself off for a while. As so I could piece things back together. By sheer coincidence, a good friend from University – my Gracious - ended up staying in the next village for a few months which, as it turns out, was a wonderful point of contact to have, if I so needed it. I did. It might be worth pointing out here, that since I started college at 15, I have been engrossed and spoilt with wonderful friends. Before then, I was very used to being by myself. So, this sudden injection of the solitary was not met with despair and loneliness. More relief. Well, maybe not relief, but unquestionably a break. Anyhow, being a very lonely loner and being suddenly popular is another story, so I won’t derail this one.

One person I stayed in constant, constant enough, contact with was my therapist. A darling woman. Who listened. I’m not foolish, she was being paid to do so, I know – but, she did it so well. She neither halted nor encouraged me. She neither judged nor fed my ego. She didn’t push me in the deep end, nor did she shroud me in cotton wool. She listened. She didn’t tell me I was awful and she didn’t tell me I was amazing. No pity or praise. She didn’t try to impress me and I didn’t feel the need to impress her. She didn’t hate me for who I was; neither did she adore me for it. Bliss. She did, however, offer up some neutral advice. One such piece of advice being: to do something creative.
“Start painting again, perhaps...” she wrote open-endedly in an e-mail. She knew my background and loosely grasped some things I am able of doing, which is why she suggested:
“...Youtube? There’s lots of creative things on there. Make a video or two. It might prove productive. Give you something to do...” One of the loveliest and life changing pieces of advice I have ever been given. Little did she know how far I would take it, or how far it would take me.

106 relevant, yet silly, videos later and here we are. I even get a little revenue from it. And it’s opened a few doors. Some writing prospects. And I’ve met some lovely people too. One, in particularly worth noting, being Stephen Fry. A wonder of a human. I cringe, as I type, as the thought of name dropping isn’t very becoming, but the thought of how sweet he’s been over comes any such nonsense. A dear and a treat and a bundle of sheer loveliness on television, but ten times as fantastic and terrific and calorific in person. So here’s my short and sharp thank you to dear Stephen. For your support and for giving so much and expecting nothing, sincerely, in return. Cheers. Quite a man. A friend.

Hmm, when I started this blog – ahem, yesterday – I wasn’t quite sure where it was going. And it is quite possible that I will never know. This post, hopefully, will prove two things. Not one of asking for sympathy. Nor self dwelling. But I want it out there for others to read. Depression can seem lonely, whether you’re actually alone or not. I certainly had times where I felt, despite the huge amount of reason in my head arguing against it, that I had the worst life in the world and I was the only one living it. I have a few friends with similar problems, and more often than not I have the right things to say ready to roll off from my tongue as readily as a pickled beetroot sliding from its vacuum pack house. But it’s quite a different thing when trying to prise a leaf from one’s own book. So, perhaps this, even for just one person, might act as a small thimble like pool of an oasis. Especially with the internet, you’re never alone. Secondly, and quite selfishly, this post was very therapeutic for me. Writing things down often helps me address them. I can talk about anything, but often choose to talk about fun things. Reading this over, literally (LITERALLY) fills me with warmth. Claire, a dear, dear, dear friend, just called and asked what I was up to. I told her what I was writing and as I spoke each admittance and addressed each detail, a warmth enveloped a small part of me. My appendix probably, I’m not sure and it does not matter. All that matters is, by focusing on the issue, the solution and resolution become clearer.

I still have my ups and downs, but what goes up, must come down. At least, at some point – I now know, it must go up again. Like today, where I’ve accomplished, I feel, so much. Last of the clichés, for this post at least, things could be worse.

I made a little video, below, back when I was low. It’s very silly with little effort made on the singing side (Ha!), but thinking in such a way helps me get by.

My, my, don’t I ramble on. So, until tomorrow, much love and smile always,
Beau~Jensen
xXx~oOo!

Do I type it in here?

2010-06-05T11:53:00.000+01:00

Feeling positively inspired by the darling and sweet Rebecca Woodhead, - who I will recommend until my knees fall off, but even then I feel I would have a few more lovely things to say - today I decided to expand on my nonsensical ramblings and start blogging. I'm often the last to jump on the bandwagon, ordinarily because I was in the loo, and blogging seems charming and, thankfully, simple enough for me to complete *ShortSharpBreathAtTheThoughtOfSpeakingTooSoon*. Oh but crikey oh crumbs, where do I start? Yesterday? Childhood? Now? What I'll be having for dinner later? Hmm, I'm not sure. Hopefully, as I get used to blogging and read more of others' blogs, it will all happen organically. Or, indeed, come to an eagerly awaited end. There is a lot more I want to write and even more that I don't, either way, the sun is shining and impatiently waiting for me to say hi...
So, for now, here is a list of my likes and dislikes. If you haven't already made up your mind on where one may place me on the oddity/bearable scale, you may do so now.
I like to lie about my age and I like to bite. I like spinach and I like singing in my band. I like the sun being there at 9pm and I like trying to tell jokes. I like kissing and I like T-shirts. I like rocks and I like orchids. I like pretty things and I like eyes with lots of make-up. I like my puppy and I like kites. I like beetroot and I like splashing in puddles. I like people watching and I like building sandcastles. I like going out and I like the smell of fresh nappy bags. I like running and I like diet coke. I like my friends and I like the fact that I can't remember my natural hair colour. I like sneezing and I like being told off for touching things I shouldn't. I like ducks that eat the bread from my hand and I like giggling. I like ponies and I like sleeping with the stereo on. I don't like blue drinks and I don't like naked wrists. I don't like being told no and I don't like weddings with a buffet. I don't like meat and I don't like annoying ex-smokers. I don't like being cold and I don't like cotton wool balls. I don't like the dark and I don't like deep water. I don't like eating too much and I don't like moaners. I don't like wet clothes and I don't like dead batteries. I don't like wearing labels on the outside and I don't like ketchup. I don't like carrying things and I don't like waiting for the loo.

Oh, I also like to make silly videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGDUGl0LEt8

And twit twat tweet away my days on twitter:

http://twitter.com/BeauJensen

Much love and smile always,
Beau~Jensen
xXx~oOo
p.s. Oddest of odd things, the word 'Blogging' is being spell checked. Ra ha ha