Day to day...Life of a mother

JUCING!!

2012-02-05T10:39:00.000-08:00

Wow...Sept. was my last blog!!! OMG! bad bad bad lol

Well an update I guess is required...
Dom has applied to 4 colleges, one she did not get accepted to due to the fact her combine reading and math SAT scores were not quite high enough. She has been accepted to 2 others and still waiting to hear from 1, they did not receive her SAT scores for some reason so she has to re send them. She is seriously thinking about OSU though.
Lillian is doing better in school...she was having a hard time paying attention, she is very much like Dom was in elementary school...very "chatty" BUT her teacher tells me she is doing MUCH better now and he is very happy with her improvement. I have also seen it while helping her with her homework! Its MUCH easier to help her!!
Ashlee LOVES pre school! She has school Mon-Thurs and rides the bus each day. She is always very sad when she doesn't have school. She has made lots of friends.
Mia is almost a year old!! Feb 19th my little baby will be ONE, I cannot believe how FAST that year went by!! She is eating lots of "big people" food, she loves to feed herself! She has not started walking or standing by herself yet, but she pulls herself along things quite well!

James got a juicer for his birthday from the ladies he works with, so our new adventure is juicing! I am so excited!!! We are trying the Reboot diet, from the documentary Fat Sick and Nearly Dead, its on Netflix, I highly recommend you watch it! They have a Facebook page and a couple of web sites! See the 2 web sites below...
http://jointhereboot.com/index.php?lang=en
http://fatsickandnearlydead.com/
Today is our first REAL day of juicing. We have juiced a few things before, just trying the machine out, but today is the first big day of the real thing!

Getting closer!

2011-09-14T16:36:00.000-07:00

I am SO ready to move out of this place!! I can't wait till we are out! My house is a disaster right now, boxes all over the place, not organized. Its hard to clean the house with all this mess! I HATE it! I can't stand having clutter and mess everywhere I look!

Our new landlord (Lady) seems really nice, she is letting us move things over to the new place early and we will officially move in on the 1st of Oct. I am so glad it won't be right around the holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas)! I cannot wait to be done with the landlords we have now. They are nice I guess but SO anal about everything! I mean I have 4 kids, nothing is going to be perfect! I am picky about my cleaning and like things done a certain way, but gosh dang people, we aren't an old retired couple with no kids and all the time in the world to sit around and clean and garden all day long! Plus I think they are trying to charge us for things that they say are "legal" but I think its something they are saying to get more money out of us or get us out earlier. I'm just sick of their crap. Its been a rough year for us with moving down here and starting all over, so maybe they are sick of our crap too, but I honestly think they over do things a little bit.

This new place we got is going to be nice! Its bigger 1500sq ft, and is the same amount of rent we pay here but the water and sewer is paid, so actually we will be saving probably $90-95 a month! I also love that it has 2.5 bathrooms and a 2 car garage, a big kitchen and the master bedroom has a big walk in closet! Woot! Tomorrow we go over to unload some stuff, that will clear up the house some at least.

As much as I am ready to move, I do not want to pack up, I hate packing! It causes such chaos and mess! I have been packing the last few days but today I have not packed anything...however I am trying to catch up on laundry, I think I have done 5 loads today. Mia is not wanting to nap much today, she will sleep for about 20 min and then wake up, except for this last time I laid her down, she is still sleeping.

Maybe I will get some things packed tonight while the kids are sleeping...

Guess we are moving for sure now...

2011-09-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

Well our landlords are dumb. They are giving us 60 days to move (better than 30 I guess). I don't know if that is considered eviction or not?? They don't want to renew our lease so gave us the 60 days. I could be wrong but I thought you were supposed to rent on a month to month basis if the lease is not to be renewed, I didn't read anywhere in the lease agreement that it states they can "kick you out" so to say. They are pissed because we paid rent a week late due to James not getting his vacation pay on his last check so we weren't able to come up with the WHOLE amount. We emailed them and explained what happened, which was something totally out of our control! And apparently they were not happy with that. I understand they want their money and all but dang! We can't control what happens with payroll! So whatever...anyway...we were wanting to move already, looking for something bigger, possibly cheaper, just something different, we are tired of dealing with these people, they are very anal about everything. When they did their walk through awhile back I swear they expected everything to look perfectly spotless, like we are some old retired couple of something with no kids. My house was really clean! But they nit picked EVERYTHING. They find one speck of dust in the corners and say I have dirt piles in the corners of my house! WHAT!? So anyway...we were just wanting to move on our time and not be rushed. Well, now we are rushed. And its going to be hard to come up with the money to move into a new place, I mean we don't have thousands of dollars laying around to hand over for deposits...some of the deposits on these places are crazy! $2000.00 for some!

Luckily we did find a few places where deposits weren't crazy. The first place we are going to try for is actually a duplex/townhouse. It is REALLY nice, it has a huge kitchen, with a little pantry, a 2 car garage, very tall vaulted ceilings, 2.5 baths, nice landscaping, it has a big walk in closet in the master that you walk thru to get to the master bath...only downside to it, is that you share the deck and yard with the neighbors...I might be able to live with it tho and Dom loves it! Its not far from where w live now so if we can get into it, it would be an easy move. It will be a little further away from the school but closer to work for James and Dom.

I am just so tired of being behind and never having money for things when they come up! James got paid yesterday and we only have like $4 left! How on earth can we survive on $4 for the rest of the week! I HATE this!! I feel unfairly treated. Tho I know there is no one that is treating us this way lol. I just feel like we are always struggling for everything we have. I'm tired of 2nd hand household stuff. I'm tired of things falling apart because they are used and re used. Tho I must say the last couches we bought that were 2nd hand are holding up good and they are comfy. The one has a tear but I could probably sew it up pretty easy. BLAH, I am just tired of feeling like a poor, broke, family. I want better for my children, I don't want them to have to wait on things they need. We need to get Ashlee more medicine for her cold, but like I said we only got $4 to our name right now! I listed a ton of stuff on ebay so hopefully that will sell and make some money there. I just want things to be easier! I am tired of getting bad news and being let down. I am tired of stress and worry!

Gosh dang, I am in such a down mood lately. I'm just tired of crap and I want all the crappy, bad, struggling, and worry to go away. I want life to be easier!
Sorry for the rant, this was suppose to be about moving lol...
Well anyway...

So sick and tired of...

2011-09-05T13:17:00.000-07:00

James and I have been talking a lot the last couple days about a lot of different things. Money, weight, work, kids, stress etc etc. I have come to the conclusion that my life was meant to be difficult and a struggle.

We have a strong faith in God, but sometimes it just feels like your alone in life. I know God is faithful, its us as his children that are unfaithful and lose sight of Him. I am just so tired of struggling for everything, tired of barely making it, tired of worrying about bills and rent being paid on time. I am tired of worrying about food, not for myself but for my kids, I don't want them to be hungry. When my kids need something or we need something for the house or for one of us, I just want to be able to go get it and not worry about whether spending $2 on deodorant is going to be ok or if its going to mess things up...yep $2 whole dollars!! That's how bad it is sometimes and sometimes we don't even have it so it has to wait till next payday and then...that's money that is taken away from other things that we need to get or a bill that we need to pay. $2 shouldn't be something that we should have to worry about! James works hard and he makes better than minimum wage but gosh dang, its like he would need to be make twice as much as he does! And if I got a job nearly all my money would go to daycare, so whats the point!?

Thankfully I have learned to coupon some but I am no expert and I still am not saving what I would like to be able to. I did really good shopping for school supplies and with coupons, sales and employee discounts I spent probably $20 on supplies for 3 kids and still have some stuff left over!! That is something I am proud of. But I want to be able to supply my children with things they need, WHEN they need them...not 2 weeks or more down the road! I'm just sick of being poor...that's what it feels like anyway. I know we are NOT poor, there are so many people out there that are in worse shape than we are, so yes, I am thankful for what we have. And I know that God will provide us the things we NEED (not the things we WANT) and he has been faithful to us. But sometimes I feel forgotten and I feel like we are going through things we shouldn't be going through. Its hard to see people around you, friends, family and just people in general having what seems like a fairly easy time with things...paying bills, buying things they want, going places etc etc. Now, I know that money is not everything and material possessions are nothing and don't mean a thing...you can't take them with you! But having money there to use or spend if you would like sure would make things easier! Heck, I would just like to be able to have enough to pay all the bills (and keep them current) and the rent and have enough left over to buy gas to last us the rest of the week and to buy toilet paper and shampoo etc etc. I hate having to worry about gas...right now our gas tank reads IN THE RED and I don't think we have much in the bank to get enough gas to last us till next payday...maybe tho, luckily we live fairly close to everything so we don't use much gas.
But I would like to be able to not worry about it, for instance...if we need to go pick up Shelby or drop her off, it would be nice to just fill up the tank (probably twice lol) and go do it! Instead of having to borrow money from Dominique or family. I hate borrowing money from Dom, that is her money that she worked hard to earn and I don't think its fair to her for us to borrow her money. She doesn't mind but I don't like it. And I hate borrowing from family, its not their job to help us with that stuff! Or if we want to go visit Roseburg on one of James' 4 day weekends...it would be nice to just get the gas and go and not have to worry about how its going to effect our bills!

I'm tired of not being able to see Shelby like we should. I know part of it has to deal with the fact that we live about 8+ hours away from each other, but seeing her 2 times in one year I don't think is fair. I know she has things going on and friends she is hanging out with and stuff but we are her family and we have the right to see her when we are supposed to. And I think both sides to need to work together equally to make sure it happens like it is supposed to. And I am just gunna leave that at that...anymore I say would probably upset someone or piss someone off and that is the least thing I want to do...

I am tired of spending my time during the day cleaning and straightening things and organizing, making everything look nice and clean to have it messed up again within a hour or so of being done with it. I am tired of my children not listening to me and arguing with me when I ask them to clean up their messes. Funny thing is, when they start getting things out or making a mess I remind them that they will have to clean it up when they are done, at the time they say, "yes mommy" and its no big deal, but when it comes time to do the chore, its another story. I am tired of repeating myself a gazillion times before something gets done. I am tired of feeling like I am the only person who cares about how our house looks, I swear, sometimes I leave things on purpose, hoping that someone else will take the initiative to take care of it or clean it up, pick it up and throw it away...whatever needs to be done, but nope, usually I am the one to take care of it in the end. James helps sometimes, he does the mopping and does his dishes, he mows and weed eats the yard, and he will do laundry sometimes...but I feel like 90% is left up to me. Sometimes I just wanna give up and leave it all!

I am tired of having to walk around on egg shells so that I don't piss off Dom and have to listen to her yell and scream at me because I asked her to do something she does not want to do, or I said something the wrong way. I am tired of the attitude and disrespect that I get from her and I am tired of the arguing. I know part of it is because she is a teenager but I think there is more behind it and I think sometimes its worse than normal teenage stuff.

I am tired of being fat...yes, part of this is my fault and I know there are things I can do to fix it. Though I do not understand why I am as overweight as I am, I do not eat a lot, but when I do eat is usually in the evening. I do not eat much during the day so by the time I can sit down and eat its late and then after I eat I go to bed...no time to use the energy so it turns to more fat! If I lost 100Lbs, I would look really good! I wish I could get there. Its hard with 4 kids and a house to take care of, diet alone can't do it. And when I do have the time to get out and "work out" I am too darn tired and just want to sleep!

I'm tired of seeing people get away with things they should not be. Getting things for free when they don't need it and can afford the things themselves, working the system and lying to the government. Its not fair to those people that really do need the help. The help is there for those that need it, not because you want something for free so you have more money to spend on other things for yourself. I hardly buy anything for myself. When I shop, I shop for my kids and things that are needed at the house. We as parents have to put our kids first. Yes, we need to take care of ourselves, but our children come first.

Guess I am sick and tired of a lot of things. Maybe you are thinking that I am full of BS and I need to stop complaining. I don't feel this way all the times, just right now I am feeling like this a lot lately. I don't like feeling this way, I would rather feel happy and not worry or think about these things at all! I love my kids, don't get me wrong, they are my whole world, them and my husband, without them I would be nothing, I would not know what to do with myself!!

I am happy for my children, my husband and my family and friends, I love them all. I am glad for what I have, please don't think I'm not. I am just tired of going through things over and over again...obviously I am tired of many things as you can see. Some of it I know is normal stuff and daily life (especially with the kids) I'm not saying I shouldn't be going though it, I'm just tired of going though it as much as I am I guess lol. So call me a loser, a BS'r, complainer, whatever you want, this is just how I am feeling lately. It will go away eventually, I've gone though this before...

Thoughts...

2011-08-30T15:39:00.000-07:00

I am so bored right now! I am home with just the baby and my 6year old. It is quiet in my house and it just feels weird lol. I am not sure what to do. It feels very empty! I do have laundry and some dishes that need doing, but I don't really feel like it right now. Probably later...

I miss Shelby already! It feels very empty here without her. I cannot wait for Thanksgiving to see her again and meet her boyfriend! Pretty sure we are doing Thanksgiving at our house this year and won't be traveling to anyone's house.

Mia had a dr apt. today. She is now 16.5 Lbs and 26 inches long. Not sure what percentile that lands her in, but its probably better than it was. She is starting to catch up, she didn't grow much the first few months lol, but now she is sprouting up! I think she is actually on a growth spurt as she has been eating a lot and sleeping a lot. She MAY be starting to cut some teeth too, but I am not sure yet since I have not seen anything but gums in her mouth lol.

Ya know what I was thinking? It would be so nice if we got tax refunds before Christmas! I wish I didn't have to stress about Christmas every year and I wish I was able to buy all my family gifts, not just my kids. I always feel terrible when I receive something from them but have nothing to give in return. I love shopping for my kids, my husband always is telling me "why don't you buy stuff for yourself, why do you always have to look for the kids, look for things for yourself" I can't help it! I like to shop for my kids!

hmmmm...what else??
OH! We finally got the bunk beds and my dad came down and put em up. The girls have much more room in their bedroom now, its great. They wern't sure at first what to think about them, especially Ashlee. She is getting the bottom bunk cuz she still falls out of bed sometimes lol. But now I think they like them. \

Guess that is all...for now at least, maybe I will have more to write later tonight after the kids are in bed...

Zola's Pizza!!!

2011-08-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share this awesome place with you all! They have great pizza and lots of pasta dishes to chose from, there is a variey of 120 different beers to chose from as well! The pizza is cooked in a brick oven, the service is warm and friendly and the food is cooked to order. Breadsticks are amazing and you can put just about anything on them! 7 types of bbq/hot wing sauce, and a good variety of pasta to choose from. FREE delivery! Below are just a few pictures that I took last time we were there. It is such a fun place to go. Keep the kids entertained by drawing on the tables while you wait for your food...maybe it will get placed on the wall!!

Pizza box art on the ceiling

Coloring on tables

Wall art

Awesome sink in the bathroom

her art on the wall

Drawing on the bathroom walls

They have a facebook page that I will be posting, check it out! If you are even in or going through Brookings, Oregon, you MUST make a stop here and check it out! Its located in the Brookings, Harbor in the shopping area, you can't miss it!

Just below are the menu pages

http://www.kbsctv9.com/zolasmenu-1.png

http://www.kbsctv9.com/zolasmenu-2.png

Facebook page

http://www.facebook.com/zolaspizza?sk=wall&filter=2

"Oregon Coast - just off 101 FIRE Oven cooked Pizza....Killer Breadsticks with any topping... Ridiculous Wings Sauced after cooking.... Fresh Salads..Caesar or Garden.... PASTA Bowls cooked in the FIRE...Free WiFi...Great Vibe...Yum."

A sad day...

2011-08-29T12:18:00.000-07:00

Today Shelby will be leaving for home. I am sad to see her go and I wish we could see her more often. Its tough when you get to see one of your kids only a couple times a year :-(
I am sure she is ready to get back home and sleep in her own bed and not be woked up by her 2 little sisters before noon lol. I am already working on 2 DVD's for her. One is a video DVD of different videos that have been taken while she was here and the other is a DVD slide show of pictures of her summer visit here. I enjoy working on them, its fun and makes me think of her :-) We should get her for Thanksgiving this year and we also invited her boyfriend to come along.

We are so broke right now its not even funny. We are behind in getting our rent money orders...each week we get a money order for the rent for the next month, it works out best that way instead of havning to take 2 of James full paychecks to pay for rent...well so far we have only gotten ONE money order for next months rent! I HATE being behind. I know what happened tho...we wrote a couple of check that we forgot about (which is why we hardly EVER write checks!) and by the time they made it to the bank there wasn't enough to cover them, thankfully the bank paid them (probably cuz we don't write many checks lol) but it overdrafted our account quite a bit so we have been playing catch up with that and trying to get the bills paid too! We did go camping this month, but we didn't really spend any money on that. All we had to pay for was the extra vehicle ($25) and our food. Tho we do need to pay my parents back part of the money for the site since we all shared it. I NEED to go grocery shopping but I can't without any money lol. I think we will make it till next payday tho...

I took a survey/quiz thingy for our health insurace and it showed that I have a very high risk of stress...duh lol! Along with a few other things...I really need to lose weight! That will lower a lot of things. I want to lose eventually at least 100lbs...yep, I'm a fatty!! Which I don't quite understand lol. I do not eat that much really. At least I don't think I do. I think my big problem is that I eat late at night. I don't hardly eat during the day time. I was walking for awhile but stopped for some reason. I really need to get back into that! My risk for depression was also high, UGH! Risk for stroke etc etc. Funny tho, with all that we still qualify for the $900.00 incentive lol so apparently we aren't THAT unhealthy lol.

So today I'm kind of being lazy. I haven't done much, one load of laundry and I will do dishes later. I'm not really even dressed yet lol. My children are very whinny today, they have made messes and do not want to clean them up. Even tho I tell them when they start dragging things out, that they will have to clean it all up when they are done, and they always tell me "ok" as soon as I tell them its time to clean up the fits start coming. Ohhhh, I can't wait for their teenager years lol...

Its been too long!

2011-08-28T10:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, its been too long!!
Been busy, a lot of things going on...
We finally got to see Shelby for summer! I was so excited to get her, and its been great! I have missed her so much. I will be sad when she goes home in a couple days and I am going to miss her terribly. I wish we could spend more time with her. We should get to have her for Thanksgiving since last year she stayed at home, but we will not get her for Christmas :-(

We have been to the river lots of times this summer, more than the ocean, kinda wierd huh? We live SO close to the ocean and we go to the river more often lol. We went camping in Bandon at Bullards Beach again with our good friends Brian and Tracy and their kids. We spend 5 days there. It was fun but at the same time there was lots of un-needed and un-wanted drama and know it all attitude and dissrespect. I wish things were easier with teenagers.

Mia is now 6mos old! She is getting so big now! Lillian will be in first grade, I had to switch her teacher cause I was told the one she got was pretty strickt and didn't do any class parties for holidays or anything. Ashlee should be going into preschool, I sent off her application and am waiting to hear back from them. I think it should be fine the lady I talked to said they didn't have a full class yet. I am debating wether to drive her out or have her take the bus...its about 5-6 miles out of town. Looks a nice school from what I have seen, and there is a big pasture with a couple horses right next to the school playground area. Dom is a Senior now, she is again taking a couple college credit classes. She could graduate early as she really only needs 3 credits to graduate, but she wants to graduate with her class plus there were some classes she really wanted to take.

We have been looking for a different house...I don't know for sure if we will move or not, just something we are looking into. I would like to have a little more privacy. Where we live now the neighbors are RIGHT there, and they both have dogs that they just let bark and bark. They are nice neighbors and the one couple loves our kids and is always giving them fruit or flowers from their garden or cookies or something lol. We did find a place that had 1.5 acres that is only $50 a month more than what we pay now and the owner mows it all cause he has a big riding mower. Its tough because we would like a little more room but at the same time, to come up with deposits and everything...its costly. I don't think we will ever buy a house, we will probably always rent lol. It has its pluses...you don't have to pay for things when they break down! I like that part lol. Maybe when all the kids are moved out we will look at buying a place. Eventually I would like to have some animals of some kind.

I started couponing...nothing huge like the Extreme Couponers show lol, but that is why I started. After seeing that show and learning how to save money, I figured why not!! I did pretty good with the kids school supplies, I bought things when they were on a good sale price and used coupons and James discount! I used rain checks, which I had never done before, those are pretty cool! And I did really good on Lillian's birthday and got some really awesome deals! I am proud of myself lol. I wish I had more stores to shop at though, I see all these good deals that I could be getting but I don't have the stores to shop at to get them!

Happy birthday to me...

2011-07-08T17:17:00.000-07:00

So today I am 30! Wow, I don't feel 30...but then I don't feel I look as fat as I am either hahaha!
Not much going on really. Mia woke up early this morning about 4:30am...UGH. I changed her diaper and gave her a bottle, wish she would breastfeed it would be so much easier! Then she didn't want to go back to sleep, blah...I think about a quarter after 5am she finally went back to sleep, I'm not sure exactly of the times, I just know it was too dang early, the daylight was starting to show!

Got up with the kids about 8am, was falling asleep in my recliner, so after James got up I went back to bed for a short while, think about an hour or so. That was nice. Then James had to go to work at noon, Dom left for at a quarter after 2pm and I've been here by myself with the kids since then. Thank God for the little wadding pool we got for them! Thats been a life saver. It doesn't get too hot here, but today feels pretty warm probably mid to high 80's, not sure exactly. So they have been playing in that a lot and not getting in my hair too much. Ashlee is especially whinny lately and her and Lillian seem to be picking on each other quite a bit more than normal...uh...I'm ready for school to start haha!

I hate being broke! I would like to be able to just buy something I want for myself or the kids (usually the kids, James says I'm bad at that and always shop for them and never for myself...this is true) if I want. Nothing huge and expensive or anything, just little things ya know? Fred Meyer is having a great sale on clothes and with James 20% employee discount on clothing I can get some really nice stuff for cheap! I did get Lillian and Ashlee a new baithing suit the other day, used the money I made from selling stuff on ebay in my paypal account. They were only $6.40 for each one, normally $20.00 each! But dang, it would be nice to not have to worry about what its going to do to everything else if I buy something.

Dom wants to take me to have my hair done (cut and colored) Monday or Tuesday for my birthday. I don't want her to spend that much money. She doesn't care and she wants to do it, but I don't want her to. That was one nice thing about working in a salon, I didn't have to hardly pay anything to have my hair done or for hair products...I miss those days. I was always doing new things to my hair!

Wish I was closer to my family today, would be nice to see them all on my birthday...thats one thing I miss, is being able to see my family when I want. Now, living 3-4 hrs away, thats not very possible! And I wish Shelby could be here. We are suppose to have her for the summer and it should have worked out that she would have been here, but in the end it didn't work out that way and we may only have her with us for 3 weeks of the summer. But I guess its better than nothing. I wish we could see her more! I miss her A LOT!! Its hard to have someone in your life, to care for them and love them like your own child and then have them leave and be far enough away that you can't even seem them everyother weekend or even one weekend a month.

Feeling Down and other things

2011-07-07T14:26:00.000-07:00

First I want to say this is not written to hurt anyone or to cause any problems or start any crap, its not ment for that.

I've been feeling down quite a bit lately. I miss Shelby a lot and so does everyone else. I wish we could see her more. It depresses me, we have only seen her once in nearly 7mos. I don't think its very fair, but I guess life isn't fair. I feel ignored and not wanted. It almost feels like the 10 years I spent raising her and caring for her were for nothing. We don't get to talk to her much, its hard to get a hold of her. I know she loves us and everything but its hard when you have been in someones life so much taking care of them and loving them like your own child and then all of the sudden they are gone and you hardly hear from them. I am not and do not try to take the place of her mom, that is something that is nearly impossible. But I DO feel like a mom to her, after 10 years how could you not? I almost feel like she doens't care to have us in her life. I'm sure I'm wrong in thinking that, but thats how it feels when you don't hear from the person in a long time and can't hardly get a hold of them. I'm not talking about this to cause problems or raise hell, its just how I feel...its how we all feel, we are hurt. It helps me to write things and get it out, thats why I'm writing it. It helps me cope I think. I am an emotional person, anybody that knows me well enough will tell you that. I have been very sad, I have cried, I have been mad, I have wanted to throw things (tho never do lol) Its hard to talk about it to anyone, I don't want people thinking bad or wrong of me. Each human has feelings and emotions and we all expierence them...this is what we are going though at this moment.

I am greatly looking forward to having Shelby here for a short visit. It looks like we will be getting her for only 3 weeks, which I am glad for don't get me wrong, but I also think it sucks cuz of the amount of time we have NOT had with her, I think we are entitled to at least a month. That is the amount of time they got, usually a little more like a month and a week or two, when they visited with their mom during the summer. I just feel jipped on the whole deal. I understand she is older and is able to do more things now, she has more freedom and responsibility now that she is older and she is doing more things with her friends but it feels like all of that is more important. I am not mad about that, she needs to have time with her friends and stuff especially at this point in her life. Friends are there for support along with other things that parents can't always give. But at the same time I feel that time should be made for family. We always made sure the kids did not make special plans for part of the summer cuz they were obligated already to spend time with thier mom. Now that Dom is older and has a job, its harder for her to get away for longer periods of time, heck she even has trouble getting time off to go to a Dr. apr or dentist apt. We are having issues with that as I write this. I understnad when its job related...I had to miss out on a lot of things after I got a job, it sucks, but it happens and its part of life and part of growing up.

We just sent a package to Shelby of a bunch of things, the girls made her pictures and cards, I put together 2 DVD's one is a video DVD the other is a slide show. I love the programs I found! They are both a lot of fun. I just found out the slide show program was only a trial deal and its almost up, if I wanna keep it I have to pay $30.00...I think its worth it and I might pay for it unless I can find one thats 100% free and just as good or better...It was a lot of fun to put together the DVDs, I want to make more now haha!

Its been really nice lately and I LOVE it! I have been kinda lazy though and not been keeping up on the laundry and housework. We have been going to the river and the beach quite a bit, the river more than the beach. Kinda funny that now that we live RIGHT near the beach we go to the river more haha! We got the girls a little wadding pool but I think we might get a bigger one before long, not huge, just one we can get in and cool off in without having to go anywhere.

Our lease is up next month in this house, I don't know whether we are going to stay or not...we haven't heard anything from the propery management about renewing the lease or not, so we have been looking for something else just in case. I like this house, I like the area, I like my kitchen hehe, I would like to stay...I just wish we had an extra bedroom and bathroom and more closet/storage. I hate moving, its such a pain! So much packing, unpacking cleaning, organizing...ugh!

4th of July!

2011-07-05T12:14:00.000-07:00

We had a pretty good 4th of July. We went down to the harbor and hung out in the big kite field, had some BBQ...I finally bought James the little table top BBQer that hes been wanting lol, so we took that instead of the big BBQ, it worked great and was MUCH easier to pack haha! Lillian and Ashlee played in the field but soon got bored of it, I don't understand my children, there we were, a beautiful day they had plently of room to run around and play and they would rather sit and be bored. Course when some other kids came by they would play with them but soon as they left, they were back to being bored again...I don't get it!

We took our shade tent to set up since it was pretty sunny and I wanted something to keep Mia under to prevent her from getting sunburt since she is too young still for sunblock. That was an insteresting event lol. We had the most dificult time putting that thing up, you would think...2 poles, 1 tent, no problem right? WRONG! First we didn't get the poles through the loop in the middle of the top of the thing, we thought...shouldn't be a problem, then we couldn't find all the pegs to stake it into the ground and then the wind was blowing and because we DID NOT have the poles looped through the top it was all wobbly haha! All this time the kids were under it having a blast playing around and it kept falling down on them! SO...we decided to take it down and start over, James went home to get some more pegs and while he was gone I found one stuck in the ground, he also went to get the paper plates we forgot and the charcoal for the BBQ...when he got back he realized he forgot the charcoal lol! So, instead of going back to the house he just went down to the store and bought some...he was gone forever! The line at the store was really long...would have been a shorter trip if he would have just went home!

Mia decided she didn't like it much out there and was fussy the whole time, she didn't want her bottle, she didn't want to be held and she didn't want to sleep. I changed her clothes because I thought maybe she was cold and changed her diaper, that helped a little but she still was not too happy. She didn't really cry a lot, just fussy.

The girls kept asking when the fireworks were going to start...over and over again! They were getting very impatient and everytime somebody shot off a firework they thought the show was starting. Just before they started we packed everything up and loaded it in the back of the suburban and had the kids sit back there to watch from there, which worked out pretty good.

It was a pretty cool show, they had lots of different kinds of fireworks, some were so HUGE and some looked 3D! They had the radio station play a special program of songs to go along with the display. It was pretty neat! As soon ad the show was over we rushed to get the rest of the stuff in the suburban and get the kids all buckled in, but we wern't fast enough, we sat in line in the parking lot for probably at least a half hour waiting to get out onto the main road. Ashlee fell asleep within 10 minutes of just being in the parking lot and Lillian was asleep before we got home (and its only MAYBE a 5 minute drive after you get on the main road)

Mia was happy to be home and went to sleep pretty quickly, the kids were out as soon as their heads hit their pillows and they slept in till almost 10am!

I can't belive I am going to be 30 in just a few days!! Wow time flies, I don't even feel like 30!

2011-06-29T13:34:00.000-07:00

So a lot has been going on since I posted my last blog. I really need to get better at keeping this updated!

Ashlee had her 4th birthday! I cannot believe she is 4 now! She had a "princess" birthday. She wanted a crown and rings and everything, all pink stuff. She got a lot of outside type stuff. For some reason my children do not like to play in our backyard. We have a nice big, flat back yard they can play in and they would rather play inside!? WHAT!? Now if we go to the park or something like that, that is a different story haha. Anyway...So now my 4year old looks like a 4year old instead of 3, SO many people thought she was 4 or 5 when she was only 3! She is a big girl! Tall and lean, she's got abs on her! She's been wearing size 5's for awhile now and she has big feet, wearing an 11! I think she might pass up Lillian! Hopefully she will be in pre-school next year. I called and left a message for someone to call me back about getting and application to get her in...no one called me back.

We have been going to the river and the beach quite a bit since school ended. Mostly the river, the kids love it there. We go to Loeb State park, its awesome! I think the kids like it so much cause we usually have a picnic after and there are a ton of squirrels! They aren't shy at all, we've had them come right up onto the table and take food right off our plate! They will eat out of your hand and everything. Last time we went I bought some special squirrel food and we threw that out too them before we started eating and they were so occupied with that, that they didn't crawl up and take our food. We flew Ashlee's kite that she got for her birthday...we are going to have to do that more, we need more practice lol! We do have a special kite field just for flying kites, I guess we should go there!

I have started couponing. I head about this show called "Extreme Couponing" and after watching it I realized how much money I could save by using them. Before I just always over looked them! Now, I'm not into like the people on the show are...I DO have a coupon binder full of coupons, but I have yet to use many of them. I have already used a lot of coupons on diapers and wipes and formula and have saved quite a bit there! In fact I have a decent stockpile of wipes and am getting one of diapers. I recently was able to purchase the refillable packages (3 of them) of Huggies wipes (210 count) for only $3.99 each and I recently scored just over 150 diapers for about $22.00. Pretty good considering 1 single box of diapers (about 84count depending on the size of diaper you buy) is $19-$22, depending on the brand.

James may have a GREAT opportunity at work. We don't want to say much about it yet till we know for sure but it will be a really good thing! We probably won't know till middle of July-August. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and praying about it. Hopefully it will all work out for the better! Any prayers that this will go in the right direction are appreciated! I'll make sure to let you all know when we find out!

Dom will be working 40 hours a week now, just for summer time. Now she will know what it feels like to work a full time job...what is she going to do with all that money! LOL! Her first purchase will be a new laptop. Her's took a dump and it would cost $150 to fix it and the computer Dr told her the laptop isn't worth that much, plus it only has the memory of a 6gig flash drive and she needs more than that. She opened up her own checking account with me as the co-owner. She has her own check book and debit card now! Next she will open a savings so some of her money will go in there. She also applied for a 2nd job at Fred Meyer, she has yet to hear from them. She will be busy next school year with her work and being on the leadership team as well as the PBS team! She is still considering the military but is now re-thinking her art career and thinks maybe she still wants to do the medical field. She is having a hard time deciding.

Raising money for the Port

2011-05-28T14:59:00.000-07:00

Today is the Azalea Festival of Arts. Dom had her fundraiser in it and had a booth set up with over 26 pieces of art made by the intermediate and advanced arts students and the Brookings Harbor High School. She actually should of have about 60 pieces but it sounds like quite a few students didn't take it seriously and didn't make anything.

All the money made at this fundraiser goes to the port to help pay for damages caused by the recent tsunami. This is part of her Sr. Project for school. Originally she wanted to do something like this for the school but decided it would be better for the port.

It started out cloudy and grey but no rain, so her and her helpers hung most of the art work from the canopy and placed a few on tables. About an hour or so into it, it started to rain and the art work started getting wet! They quickly rushed to take down all the pictures so not to let them get ruined. There was an empty canopy next to us so they began hanging some up along the edges of THAT canopy, but as it kept raining it just dripped all over and continued to get the art work wet so once again they all rushed to take them down, leaving only a few hanging that were totally covered and would not get wet.

I could only stay for a short while, I think I was there a few hours. But with 2 young children and a baby I knew it wouldn't last long. So about 1pm I had to pack up my kids and go, leaving her there with her helpers to tend to everything. I pretty much let her do everything anyway and didn't get involved much except to lend a few ideas...which they actually liked and used! After I left the sun came out and the clouds went away.

Below is some of the art that was there. A LOT of it was really good!!

This one directly below is the art that Dominique did. These were taken with my phone so they aren't the best quality pictures but you can get the idea. I wish I was able to get all the art work, but this is what I got.

Dom and her "crew" a few more showed up later

Ashlee's Birthday...random thoughts

2011-05-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

I cannot belive Ashlee will be for the 29th! Time has gone by so fast. My sister is planning to come down for that weekend and stay with us. We finally got a hide-a-bed so she will have something to sleep on besides the couch! My girls are looking forward to it, they love thier auntie! Of course I am too! I do not get so see my family much anymore because we live further away now and our last visit there was a sad one, due to the death of my grandfather, I'm still having a hard time with that.
I am not sure what to get Ashlee for her birthday. Both my girls already have so many toys! She has plently of clothes...I was thinking about some sandles, but other than that and maybe dress shoes, she has tons of shoes and doesn't need any. I think outdoor toys, beach toys, things like that would be good.

I have been doing a lot of cleaning (except for yesteray lol) I did a TON of cleaning Monday and didn't even eat anything till about 5pm...I wasn't hungry so I didn't even notice! Its nice to have the house all clean but sometimes it doesn't even look like I did anything! I HATE that! Monday, I did all the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen, did several loads of laundry, cleaned the bathroom, swept all the floors, changed the sheets and pillow cases on our bed (I don't think that gets done enough lol), washed the blankets on our bed, I even organized the garage a little!

I am SO looking forward to getting our phone upgrade! James was told they were going to do it 6mos early, so next month we should be getting new cell phones! Ours seem to have a mind of thier own...they shut off and turn on by themselves, mine likes to move lines up when I am texting, the call quality isn't that great....ugh! I've had this phone almost 2 years...its time to upgrade. I've been doing research online...I was originally thinking about a Blackberry...or some kind of smartphone with the qwerty key pad, I do NOT want a touch screen only phone. It sucks that AT&T has SO many touch screen only phones, and they have SO many smart phones! James wants a simple flip phone, he doesn't care about much, he doesn't really like the qwerty keypad. Me personally, I love it. I miss my ENV3 from Verizon, I wish I could use it with AT&T.
We also need a new keyboard for our computer! This one is crappin out on us. They keys don't always want to work...this blog is taking me WAY too long to finish because I cannot type very fast. Letters do not show up the space bar doesn't always work...UGH! Its a USB keyboard and I love it! I don't wanna look for another one, this one just needs to work right! lol!

Gone but never forgotten

2011-05-21T20:44:00.000-07:00

My grandfather's funeral was this last Friday, May 20th 2011.

There was a viewing the day before, I took my girls to see him. Before we left I explained to them what it would be like. I explained that its only his body that is here, his spirit has gone to heave and he is there with Mattie, throwing balls and playing with her. He loved dogs. He loved a lot of things. He enjoyed music, camping, fishing, anything to do with the outdoors. He loved baking, especially at Christmas time. He loved and cared dearly for his family.

Lillian did very well at the viewing, Ashlee was a mess. Even though we did not spend much time with him, she knew that he loved her and she was so broken up to see him there. She did much better the day of the funeral. After the service was over they opened his casket for those that wanted to see him one last time. Ashlee could not seem to get enough of seeing him. She touched his cheek, stroked his beard and she even kissed her fingers and placed them on his forehead. She talked to him and told him that she loved him. I wish I had a picture of Ashlee and him together while he was alive! Lillian placed a picture of her, Ashlee and Mia on his chest so he would have something to always remember them. All the grandkids signed a t-shirt for him. Ashlee drew a little picture, the shirt was also passed around for others to write on as well and it was placed next to him before they closed the casket for the last time.

He looked very nice, he was not dressed up all fancy like, he was not that kind of man. He wore what you see in the picture above. His favorite hat, shirt and a pair of jeans. He was buried with his fishing pole and favorite cooking fork that he, himself formed to the bowl that he used every time he baked something. He will be able to fish for big trout and bake goodies for all those in heaven and I know they will enjoy it!

He looked very peaceful, just like he was sleeping and it even seemed he had a slight smile. He is no longer in any pain, he isn't suffering from Cancer any longer. He is happy and healthy and enjoying heaven.

It was weird that as soon as his casket was laid in the ground and they were placing dirt over it, a slight, cool breeze came along as if it was him saying, "I'm still with you"

He had told his grandkids that when they see butterflies to know that was him.

There were many kind words said of him at the service. He was well loved by everyone and he in turn loved everyone. I only regret that I did not make it over to visit him more so that my children could see the love he had for them and kindness he would show.

He requested this to be read at his funeral. It sounds very much like him:

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end. There will be no more sunrises, not minutes, hours or days. All the things you collected, whether treasures or forgotten will pass to someone else. Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed. Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear. So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed to important will fade away. It won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end. It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant. Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant. So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what your bought, but what you built, not what you got but what you gave. What will matter is not your success but your significance. What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught. What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example. What will matter is not your competence but your character. What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone. What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who loved you. What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by who and for what. Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance but choice. Chose to live a life that matters.

How true is that!? It makes so much sense!

I love you grandpa and even tho I am sad you are gone, I know you are happy and you are healthy. I know you will be waiting on the other side for me with open arms!

"I'm Free"

Don't grieve for me, now I'm free. I am following the path God laid for me. I took his hand when I heard Him call, I turned my back and I left it all

I could not stay another day, to laugh to love to work or play. Tasks left undone must stay that way. I found my peace at the close of day.

If my parting has left a void, then fill it with remembered joy, A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss, oh yes, these things I too, will miss

Be not burdened with times of sorrow, I wish for you the joys of tomorrow. My life's been full, I've savored much. Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all too brief. Don't lengthen it with undue grief. Lift up your heats and share with me, God loved me so; he set me free

Grandpa would have wanted us to feel this way. It is only fitting that this was quoted at the service.

Here is the link to the Chapel of the Roses web page for him.

http://www.wilsonschapeloftherosesfh.com/index.cfm

Millard Kincaid

April 2nd 1931-May 14th 2011

Rest in peace Grandpa Millard. I love you

2011-05-16T11:29:00.000-07:00

Saturday May 14th 2011 at about 7:30am I received a phone call from my sister, who was supposed to be coming to visit us for the weekend. She had terrible news that our grandpa had passed away at 3am that morning. He battled several cancers and was going thru strong chemo. He had stopped breathing and the ambulance was called, he was resesitated at home and taken to the hospital, but didn't make it much longer. He had been thru so much over the last few years, I think he was just tired and ready to go home to God. I know he is not in any pain now and is happy and healthy.

This is the last picture I have of him. This was over Spring Break this year just before we left from our visit to go home. I am SO glad James made sure that we got over to see him, we almost didn't go, but James told me that we needed to go because he was sick and we didn't know the next time we would get up that way and what might happen between that time. This was his first time seeing Mia.

Grandpa loved to camp and fish. He enjoyed bowling and baking. He made the BEST peanut butter fudge, banana, zucchini and wine breads, cookies and all kind of other yummy treats. He always made a bunch of goodies around Christmas time. He was never judgmental, always kind.

I wish I had spent more time with him and gotten to know him better. I wish I had more memories with him as a child AND an adult. I have a few camping memories and I remember the sweet smell of his pipe. I remember several Christmases with him, but other than that, I don't remember much. I am so sad my children will not get to have any memories with their grandpa. They have been camping with him one or two times, but they are too young to remember.

I remember one of the last things he said to James and I was to make sure we take care of our kids, and that they were beautiful. The last email I received from him, he thanked me for Mia's birth announcement and told me he was proud. I emailed him back telling him I would send him pictures of all the kids when I was able to get to it...I never did, I feel so awful!!! I could have found the time, just a few minutes to email him some pictures! I should have made more of an effort! I should have made sure that when we visited family up there that we were able to get over there at least for a short visit. I feel so guilty. I am so sorry grandpa! I will not make the same mistake with my other grandparents. My grandpa Jack also has cancer and my grandma Donna has diabetes. This had made me realize that time IS short, we hear it all the time from people but I never really thought that much about it. You never know what might happen and we have to take advantage of the time we have here on earth because we don't know when its going to be over.

I feel bad because I cannot be there for my family and friends and help them. I live too far away to just make a drive. Gas is expensive and it is a long trip, not so long that its impossible to make, but long enough that its not easy with 4 kids. To my family and friends, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers all day!

Grandpa I love you and I will miss you.

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-16T10:46:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day was great. I got to sleep in till about 10:30am, which never happens lol. Dominique made me breakfast, well...maybe brunch, it was about 11-11:30 when she brought it to me, I was still sitting in bed with Mia nursing her and talking to the girls. James got me the last bead for my Zable braclet (Mia's birth stone)

Dom got be some marble roses and a VERY sweet card. Lillian made me a couple things at school and wrote out a sweet little card...I'll be keeping that one, she wrote it all herself, mind you, the words are not spelled write but she took the time to write it all out in her own spelling and bring it to me. So cute!

James also got me a beautiful card and a necklace that I hinted about to him a few weeks prior lol. Its a beautiful Mother of Pearl flower with Blue Topaz in the center. He also got me an Orchid, which I've been wanting for a few years now lol.

I did not have to make dinner or cook, even the day AFTER Mother's Day! I got spoiled! hehehe

Easter

2011-04-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

Tomarrow is Easter, my mom and dad and sister will be driving down to visit, I am so excited! It will be nice to see them. Last time I saw them was Spring Break. Its hard being away from my family, they are not just a short drive down the road anymore, its a 3-4 hr drive!

I am planning a lunch/dinner for tomarrow. I got a ham yesterday and I'm going to make potato salad since everyone seems to love it (the potatoes are boiling away right now) also butternut squash, and I have a couple of yams left over, I might mix them in with the squash, I'm still not sure yet. Some kinda of veggies. Mom said she is going to make a glazed carrot thing but Dom doesn't like carrots so I'll cook up some green beans or something. I have some organic ones in the freezer I could easily cook. I think mom said something about a desert and maybe my great grandma's, "Lucy Rolls", they are so yummy!! Nothing fancy, just some good food and family! I have an email from the allrecipes web site for solw cooker ham, I'm gunna have to check that out and see if its something I wanna try, I love crock pot cooking!

We colored eggs today. I got a traditional color kit and a glitter color kit...I don't know if that was a good idea lol. We used the glitter PLUS glitter we had around the house to use on school art projects and such. We did NOT use it the way it said to lol. We simply rolled the eggs in glitter after they came out of the color cup and were still wet. We have some VERY glittery eggs! By the way... old sheets work great to cover your table to protect it for egg dye!

Loving Baby Center

2011-04-20T16:07:00.000-07:00

Wow, its been too long since I posted a new blog!
I joined a Feb 2011 babies group on the Baby Center web site and I love it! Its nice to be able to talkto other moms with babies around the same age as Mia. Its nice to know that I am not alone in a lot of things. Many moms are going though the same things I am going through with their babies and themselves! Its good to be able to relate and talk to other moms, even if its not in person. Its nice to be able to vent and have somebody that totally understands what you are going though. Yes, James is here and I can talk to him and he is caring and loving about my emotions and such but its differnet cuz he is a man, he doesn't totally understand, talking to another woman about things just re-a-sures me I guess.

I cannot belive that Mia is already 2mos old! She is getting big! We won't have her 2mo check up untill next month, that is the earliest the Dr. could get her in. But at her last check up, which was April 4th, she was 9Lbs 7oz and 22inches long. She is fitting into the 0-3mo clothes now and less and less of the NB size, she is just about too long for them. She has had several milestones...she has smiled, giggled and rolled over from her tummy to her back, she has tried to roll from her back to her stomach but hasn't got it down yet. She is also sleeping through the night most of the time! She has become more alert and aware of things around her.

Ashlee tires to help me a lot, she throws diapers away, she will get her "pas" or her blankie if I ask her to. She is always trying to give her hugs and kisses, a little too much I think, she always seems to be in her face. She also tries to pick her up whenever I have my back turned, I have caught her several times.

thank you4

2011-04-08T11:47:00.001-07:00

Purple Paper Thank You 3x5 folded card

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Mia grace birth announcment

2011-03-12T19:12:00.001-08:00

Introducing Her Birth Announcement

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Sleepless in Brookings...

2011-02-26T20:10:00.000-08:00

Last night was an awful night for sleep! Mia has her days and nights mixed up. She sleep well during the day 3-4 hour stretches, wakes up to eat and goes back to sleep. Sometimes she will stay awake for maybe 15 minutes after eating but then is right back to sleep. Last night she was up every hour after about 3:30am to eat, then back to sleep for about an hour and then up again wanting to eat. I would sit there in bed with her propped up on my fluffiest, firmest pillow in the football hold nursing her, falling asleep! Then she would fall asleep and as I went to lay her down, she would either wake back up and want to eat some more or she would lay quietly for a short period of time and THEN want back up. I tired giving her a pacifier (pas, as we call it around here) and sometimes that would work and I'd get a half hour of sleep in, other times it didn't matter. Finally, I smacked my husband on the arm and said "its your turn, I need sleep too" he had been laying there snoring loud as a bullhorn right through everything! I hated him last night (not really it was the lack of sleep talking). He took her and and I rolled over and went to sleep. She was fine, I knew she had been fed, had a clean diaper on, etc. About an hour later she was crying again, didn't want her pas, wasn't gassy...I knew she was wanting to eat again...at least I got about an hours worth of sleep. Finally around 6am she went to sleep and was out! I laid my head down on my pillow, even though I don't remember it, I know I did cuz I woke up with it there lol. Woke up to the alarm clock (7am) and the kids coming into our room to wake us up. James got up with them, got them fed and dressed and ready to go...well Lillian anyway, she is the only one besides Dom who NEEDS to be dressed to go out of the house. James took them to school, I had to get up to make sure Ashlee didn't get into anything she wasn't suppose to. So last night...lets not talk about that anymore lol. I am practically falling asleep as I write this!

Today I had to take Mia in to get her Billy Ruben (or whatever/how ever its spelled) tested again to see if things had improved since yesterday. I had to take her to the hospital which is approx. a half hour away. I get there and they did not know I was coming, had no lab paperwork...etc etc. I waited for approx. 20min for them to tell me there were finally ready. I had 2 young children and an infant, things were a little difficult. Finally they took me back, poked her head and took what they needed for the test. We had to wait there for the results just in case she needed the light therapy or the light blanket to take home. Got all that finished and done and we were out of there about 2:30pm...I had gotten there just shortly after 12pm!
Upon getting home, I had to feed these "starving" children and get them all situated and then they were up and down up and down. THEN I had to go pick up James from work for his lunch so he could take the car back and I wouldn't have to go back and get him at 9:30/10pm! Needless to say I am pooped out (may not sound like I did a lot but I did) I also did a load of the baby's laundry. And as I sit here typing this out I am falling asleep! Think I'll go nap while Mia is, should be able to get at least an hour of sleep, which will help me later on tonight when she is awake and just wanting to eat.

Mia Grace is here!!

2011-02-24T15:21:00.000-08:00

Mia Grace was born 2/19/2011 at 2:19pm! She weighed in at 8Lbs 8.5oz and was 19.5 inches long!

We had scheduled an induction due to the fact that I was already 5cm dilated and still a week away from my due date. We were a little worried that since the hospital was about a half hour away, I would end up going into labor and delivering in the car on the way!

I arrived at the hospital at 10am and got my IV, paperwork and all that good stuff out of the way. The Dr. showed up around 11am and broke my water (no pitocin) Things went quick from there and Mia arrived at 2:19pm...about 3.5 hrs after the Dr. had broke my water! A very quick labor and delivery! The Dr. almost went home to watch some TV while he was waiting for me to dilate all the way (he lives about 100 yards from the hospital). Good thing he didn't!! I decided to get an epidural this time. The Dr. wasn't sure that we would have time for one and if we did it may not have time to take effect before delivery. However, the gal got in pretty quick and got the epidural going, she did have to do it twice as she couldn't get the first one in. As soon as she got it in I felt my left leg get all warm and tingly. It took a little longer for the right side to go but once it did, my legs were dead weight and I couldn't feel anymore pain. All I could feel was the pressure from Mia coming down and I could feel when someone touched my leg or stomach...just no pain! I don't know why I didn't get epidurals with either of my first two! When it was time to push I could feel some pain but it wasn't near as bad as if I hadn't had the epidural.

Mia came out very quiet, not much crying or anything, but she was totally fine. They got her wiped down and brought her over to me to try and nurse. It took her a little bit, but she eventually latched on. She is a good eater (a typical Day family member lol). She is a pretty good sleeper, but I think she is getting her days and nights mixed up. I was up night before last about every half hour to hour nursing her (that next day was a ROUGH one!) and last night I was up at 3:30 and again at 4:30 for nursing and didn't get to go back to sleep till about 8am.

We spent a couple days in the hospital (even tho we could have gone home the next day) they knew I had a couple small children at home and said if I wanted I could stay another day just to get some extra rest! James and I got a special breakfast the day we went home with some sparkling apple cider. We were able to order what we wanted and they brought it to us on a fancy cart and everything. James got steak and eggs (it was a huge piece of steak too!) and I had a sausage and bacon omelet. They both came with a bunch of other breakfast goodies.

It has been nearly 4 years since I have had a little tiny baby to take care of and even tho things come pretty instinctual and natural, its a new journey, I'm sure there will be more to blog about!!

Almost there!! Phew!

2011-02-17T14:39:00.000-08:00

Well it looks like Saturday at 10am I will be going into the hospital to be induced. I have been 5cm dilated for almost a week. We live nearly 30 minutes away from the hospital and my labors seems to go pretty quick, especially since I am always dilated nearly half-way before going in! Dr. is figuring by 5pm we should have a baby...whether it will be a Mia or a Donavan...we still don't know. Its kinda of exciting to not know, though a little stressful at the same time...its hard to find gender neutral clothing and other baby items, most of them are either BOY or GIRL!
We decided to go with induction to avoid the risk or me going into labor and having a baby in the car on the way to the hospital! I don't want that! I wanna be there IN the hospital with the nurses and Dr's there! I want an epidural this time as well...I went all natural with my first two, and I want to experience a more painless labor and birth with this one. I have been watching You Tube videos or women going through labor and delivery with epidurals and it looks so much more relaxing and peaceful!

I have been dealing with a lot of stress over the last several days. We found out that our 17th year old has been lying to us for nearly 7-8mos now about several various things...some of them VERY BIG things. Now I know kids lie and its not unusual or anything but our trust in her has been totally broken. Whatever trust we had in her has been thrown out the window and is completely lost..she will have to start all over again. She is a very responsible kid when it comes to school and work. She does very well in school and tries very hard, she has a great work ethic, just like her father. But when it comes to other certain things...I think she takes her brain out of her head, sets it aside and then puts it back in later. I have been VERY, deeply hurt at the event of these lies and cannot even talk to her right now. I don't mind the little lies and such, its these big ones that we are finding out about. Things that we pretty much knew and confronted her about and she was so strongly adamant about the "fact" that we were wrong and she was telling the "truth" about these things. I think the fact that she has been lying to us for so long about the same issues (and more and more seems to be leaking out each day) is the thing that REALLY hurts me. I feel very disrespected and very hurt, especially after she knew how strongly I felt about certain things. I am trying to get over it, but its not something that is going to go away quickly. I will have a VERY VERY difficult time believing most anything that comes out of her mouth for a long time. Right now I am just not really talking to her. That may seems wrong to you, but believe me, its the best thing for now...if I was to talk to her, it would be a mess and a big yelling match and I don't want that. I know it won't accomplish anything and just make things worse. My husband hates it that I am not speaking to her, but like I said, it would just make things worse, I am THAT deeply hurt. I don't think I have ever been so hurt in my life.
Don't get me wrong, she is a good kid! She has a good head on her shoulders...most of the time. She has goals for her life (that we don't want to see get screwed up, and the path she is starting to make is going to lead to that!) she has colleges looking into her, sending her information about their programs and schooling because she does so well in school. She has a job and she works hard. She doesn't do drugs, smoke, drink...there are so many things that could be worse. We just don't understand why she feels the need to lie to us about so many things. We have always told our kids that we want to have an open, honest relationship with them. We have never lied to them, if they ask about something, we tell them the truth...whats the point in lying? It won't help them, won't get them anywhere. Lying only will screw things up for you...sure you may be able to get away with it for awhile, but eventually its going to catch up with you and things are going to be bad. Especially if you have had to lie to cover up ANOTHER lie and another and another...there is just no point. We have always told our children that eventually...even if its a year or so down the road, we are going to find out, its best just to be up front and truthful, life will be so much easier for them if they are.

I didn't really want to blog about all that, it just kinda came out. It does help me a little to talk about it though. I don't really have any thing else to talk about. All that drama has kind of consumed my life the last few days. I will have something else to take the place of that pretty soon though! We are looking forward to meeting the new member of our family! That should be the thing that I am consumed with...I have been pretty tired the last few days, lots of pains (headaches, backaches, hip pain, etc etc) Thankfully my mother is here to help out with the kids and such and my hubby has been a great help as well! I am greatful they are here to help! My little girls are getting excited to see their new brother or sister, they want a sister though, so if its a boy hopefully they won't be too disappointed. But with my husbands history/luck it will be a girl. Either way, we honestly don't care, as long as everything goes well and the baby is healthy, that's all that matters!
Wow...I just realized how long this post was! Sometimes I just can't stop lol!

STRESS!!!!!! And yummy dinner (haha)

2011-02-09T18:57:00.000-08:00

Oh my!! I am sooo stressed today!
I went to my Dr/ apt at 11:00 this morning, no change in anything so I'm not headed to the hospital today, unless something happens later this evening/middle of the night. I was so hopping for different news! I am SO uncomfortable and feel miserable!

My mom and sister are coming this weekend for Dom's birthday, Dom wants her friend Corbin to come and he needs to stay the night. His mom's friend is supposed to be bringing him Saturday evening and then picking him up Sunday afternoon. I am really not comfortable with him staying the night in my house. I do not like him, he is rude to him mom and very disrespectful toward her. She has put up with a lot from him (he has a long history I will not get into) and he is very ungrateful for everything she has done for him and put up with him. I do not trust him, and I do not like the way he tries to control who Dom talks to. He gets all upset and mad at her when he hears that she has been talking to or is going to talk to or hanging out with other guys. Then it upsets her, makes her mad and in return she is snotty and rude toward us. I understand they are good friends. Dom has done a lot to help him through a lot of things (and I think he should respect her more for that) and that she wants him to be here for her birthday. Another person might come this weekend as well, we are still unsure of that. She had plans to go to dinner with just her and a few of her friends here, but they all bailed on her and changed plans so I feel bad! Another thing I feel bad about is this baby possibly taking over her spotlight for her birthday. That is the last thing I want! She didn't get/do much for her last birthday and it was kind of a big disappointment.

If this boy stays the night I have to figure out a place for HIM to sleep, my mom and sister and possibly another person! Our house is not huge! There are not many places for extra people to sleep! Then I gotta worry about making sure to feed all these extra people too. I am TOTALLY stressed out! I have been having contractions off and on all day, a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen, constantly peeing, headaches, backaches, hip pain...you name it! My blood pressure is probably through the roof right now and that is not good for me or the baby! I feel really bad that this whole baby thing is affecting Dom and her birthday! Its affecting it A LOT! I know she is upset about it, but she also understands and the same time. I just don't know what to do! I want her to have a good birthday and have her friends able to come and everything but at the same time I gotta make sure that baby and I are ok and safe. I feel like giving up! I just wanna go crawl in bed and stay there! I just wish I knew more about this baby stuff and could plan better. There is just too much going on for me this weekend to deal with. Maybe it seems like not such a big deal to anyone else, but when your here dealing with it and all the drama that comes along with it...it IS a lot to deal with.

On top of all this my younger girls have been in my face all day. It seems like every 5 minutes they think they need something. They both think they are STARVING and cannot wait for dinner. They had their after school snack and it was large enough to hold them over till dinner, but they seem to think not! Then they start arguing with each other, picking on each other, bugging me for everything. I LOVE my girls to death, but today is NOT a good day, not with all this other stuff for me to worry/ think about. All I have heard all day is whining and complaining from them (and the oldest lol).

On a good note, the dinner I made was really yummy!...here is the link
http://www.quick-and-easy-dinner.com/chicken-bundles.html
I added a couple tablespoons of sour cream and I think I used more parsley that what was required, but I think it added a little extra flavor. I also added a bit of garlic salt and I used onion powder since I didn't have any onion. I also added some shredded cheddar cheese and topped it with cheese too. Super easy to make and QUICK. I think next time I'll make a double batch!

So there is my pity party, complaining for the day. Hopefully tomorrow will be better and we can get things figured out and I won't be so stressed! I don't like being crabby and when I get stressed, I get crabby.