Dead Beat Dads

Family Court and step dad's

2016-11-04T10:19:00.001-07:00

Ladies and gentleman, recently I have had the pleasure or curse of experiencing the family court in regards to my second marriage divorce. Did you know children of second marriage are not treated with the same rights of children naturally born. " children not of this marriage" they are deemed children not of this marriage and they are not given any consideration in the eyes of the San Diego Family law. Well going through my divorce for my second marriage no consideration was placed in the fact that I had two children when I entered that marriage. Well I will agree with the majority of people that The Stepfather is not and should not be held financially responsible for his step-children in the regards of a divorce, if there is a natural father in the picture but I did not have this case. My children's father is in jail somewhere in another state for neglecting to pay child support on a number of children and being abusive, he's known as a deadbeat dad has relinquished 100% custody to me and I receive no support I haven't in years. I believe if the stepfather has encouraged the mother not to chase after a deadbeat ex-husband who's a felon and to rely solely on him,the new husband and stepfather for support and fatherly love, that the court should take that into consideration. Currently in our court system at Family Court the magistrate building off 6th Avenue specifically Judge Katz, refuse to hear me make my case , because in the eyes of the Court children from a previous marriage do not have the same rights as children of this marriage. Because of this standard in LAw when husband number two came into the picture and took over Financial and fatherly responsibilities in place of the natural father and then later decided he wanted nothing to do with the children or his new wife . He filed for divorce because he didn't want to be held accountable for his step daughter's college tuition mind you he makes $600,000 a year . I make 12 .The Stepfather encouraged me to be a stay at homemaker, which was listed on all the tax returns written by The Stepfather. ( a certified financial planner ) No consideration was given to the support,housing or other when my children and I were forced to leave a family home , relinquish the family dog and left with one year of minor support to get on my feet with. Mind you" the Brett" or evil redhead encouraged living with him quitting my job and not pursuing a deadbeat ex-husband and once all my eggs were in his basket he changed his tune. Our home was not consider it a family home since evil Brett ,along with myself and kids picked the house ,which he bought 8 months prior to marriage. I gave up everything for a man I believed loved me and I loved him for everything he did at the time looking back I can clearly see I made some huge mistakes . please Family Court and family law change, consider children of a second marriage equal 2 children naturally born to the marriage, if anybody who steps in as a family provider and father or provider to any child in California, they should have the same rights and responsibilities to those children as a natural father. No woman should have to go through seeing her children disappointed twice homeless ,medicaless or foodless because a provider changed his mind. The odd thing is is both my children are a students, not involved in drinking drugs or questionable friends they don't argue with me and they contribute to the household. They wanted their stepfather to love them but could clearly see his shortcomings as he verbalized his despise for them repeatedly behind closed doors yet loudly enough for them to hear. I wish I had protected my children better from this mishap and I wish I had known the the law in that regards so for all you single mothers out there, I want you to Beware of the man who sweeps you off your feet looks your children in the eye and says he'll be there for them places you in a new home buyers you fancy cars and takes you on fancy trips because he's not doing it for you there's a good chance he's doing it to make himself look better and he could care less who he hurts along the way. The divorce was Final July 21st 2016 me and my children are homeless something my attorney said would never happen they said the courts would never allow it yet it has and they did and there was nothing I can do to stop it. I work 3 jobs I never see my children they're raising themselves and they're very discouraged when it comes to men in their lives very sad thing for a mother to know she was responsible for putting her eggs in one basket. Inevitably my children were hurt well Beyond what should be socially acceptable.

I let them down, I believed we could all finally have a family and I believed this man had mine and my children's welfare interest at heart. EVERHART FOR EVERHART HE SAID. HE LIED . OUR FAMILY DIED.

I believe that if family court changed one simple law men would think twice before they marry a woman FATHER BY PROXIE.... More about how I feel on that next blog.

Finally someone is thinking! Unemployment benifits NEED this adjustment!

2016-01-16T12:25:00.001-08:00

http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_OBAMA_UNEMPLOYMENT_INSURANCE?CTIME=2016-01-16-09-31-52&SECTION=HOME&SITE=AP&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

HAS THE GOVERNMENT DONE ANYTHING? DOMESTIC ABUSE AND DEADBEAT DADS ARE THE SAME.

2014-09-11T17:06:00.000-07:00

In the wake of "Beyond the NFL: How other companies handle domestic .." Has the federal government done anything? Not since 1994- Dead beat dads are former domestic violence abusers and still are! Not really, Why aren't there programs to rehab these people? How do companies handle domestic violence? In my experience ,regarding the company I worked for , after receiving calls and threats from my ex made to my bosses phone, I was counseled by my manager and given extra work loads during the trial periods. My manager also didn't understand his choice of wording in closed door situation were offensive. Companies and people just do not understand what it is like to work full time, manage two small children and avoid an abusive husband. Its constant work , a balancing act that takes precision and tact to escape - But once you make a move to split , He will get mad! Things will get worse, but you have work place rights http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=12633&state_code=CA&open_id=all

what happens when you get remarried.

2013-02-22T17:24:00.002-08:00

What happens when you remarry a real nice guy and your deadbeat ex begins communicating with the children. If you as the custodial parent allow free and uncensored communication? How is the CP is able to determine if the deadbeat is communicating without malice. (Aka NCP) Who has the right to write the minor children off in the taxes after custodial sole custody parent remarris,when the new spouse provides98% support ? Riddle me that.

Dead Beat Dads: Mother Abuses Child Blames Husband

2010-12-22T15:17:00.000-08:00

Dead Beat Dads: Mother Abuses Child Blames Husband: "Today while watching the Steve Wiko's show I became furious at our society. I feel for the lady screeming on TV and I am horrified tha..."

IT TAKES TWO

2010-12-13T10:29:00.000-08:00

dead·beat Pronunciation: 'ded-"bEt
Noun : one who persistently fails to pay personal debts or expenses

FEUDING AND NEGLIGENT PARENTS

IT TAKES TWO

Children are living breathing human beings - not cute little puppies that you leave on a street corner, drop with relatives, or abandon when you get tired of the responsibility.

They are a life long commitment.

If you can not pay your child support for whatever reason speak up! And to the ex-spouse - "listen" with an understanding and work it out in a logical manner. Don't make demands. Try to remember why you got married and why you had children. Don't blame the court for their decision when it was your responsibility to decide what was to be done. You have no right to complain when you are guilty of giving your power away to someone else to decide for you.

If you are not paying child support just because (shame on you). You better look at the big picture, grow up, and get a life. You produced a child for whatever reason and that child is 1/2 your responsibility whether you like it or not (not the governments responsibility) .

In all fairness,

2010-12-13T10:22:00.001-08:00

In all fairness, it is important to make note of the word “willfully,” or any word meaning the same, as it may appear in deadbeat dad definitions. Deadbeat dad exceptions do exist and might include, for example, a father who would like to pay child support but, for some oddly legitimate reason, can not hold down a job, or a doting dad who meekly makes weak but timely $100.00 US Dollars (USD) payments on a monthly $400.00 USD court order, or the weekend dad who, although he can’t scrape up those payments, always shows up on Friday for the kids. Certainly, this behavior is inexcusable and smacks with deadbeat familiarity, but it is, in all fairness, not befitting of the title. True deadbeat dads are notorious for more than their huge support arrearages. Stereotypically, they are devoid of any kind of emotional remorse or resolve, and they tend to maintain rather sociopathic excuses for the financial noncompliance. Deadbeat dads simply do not like the rules and many will move, remarry, change names, and work for cash to avoid any and all parental responsibility.
PS

Definition of Dead Beat Dad

2010-12-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

"Deadbeat dad" is the gender-specific slang term used to describe a father who willfully ignores and evades a court order to provide financial support for his children. Unlike typical slang terminology, deadbeat dad is a term that is used freely in and out of court. The term is predominately used by those employed in child support enforcement agencies throughout the United States. Consider the fact that even deadbeat dads, as despicable as they are, understand the term's connotation and attach no pride to its stigma. To the mothers of the children whose fathers “opted-out” of their parental responsibilities, a no more appropriately descriptive term has ever been coined.

How can a person choose to think that raising his children is someone else's responsibility ? What is being done about this by our Federal Government?
PS

How to Locate a Deadbeat Dad | eHow.com

2010-07-03T13:22:00.000-07:00

How to Locate a Deadbeat Dad | eHow.com

Single parenting is hard. It’s easier if the other parent chips in for living expenses. Some parents lose touch with their children and refuse to pay support. State child support agencies have become more efficient in finding deadbeat parents. Parents can help the agencies, and work on their own using professionals and the Internet, to track down deadbeat partners.

Difficulty: Challenging
Instructions
Things You'll Need:
Name or names the other parent uses
His or her driver's license number
Date of birth
Other parent's social security number
State(s) the other parent may be living in
Clear and recent photo
Internet access
Work with the State Child Support Agency
Step 1
Help the agencies. Some states work hard to track down non-compliant parents, at no cost to you. The child support agencies have tools and experience that you do not have. In addition to active searching, many maintain websites to publicize information about the missing parents. Share as much information as you can with your state child support agency.

Step 2
Provide information which is especially important for tracking down the deadbeat parent: Date of birth, social security number, driver's license number, photo, and where you think he may have moved to.

Step 3
Working with the state child support agency may take a long time, but once they track down the missing parent, you will cheer to see how efficiently the agency collects the past-due child support.

Check the Internet
Step 1
Do some legwork yourself. Even if you end up working with professionals, you can save time and money by checking the Internet yourself for information about the non-compliant parent.

Step 2
Search Engines: Check search engines by typing in the parent’s name in quotes. If the person’s name is common, you may find too many matches. In that case, include more information, especially a middle name, or the state where the person may be living.

Step 3
Check out WhitePages.com. If the missing parent is living with someone else, or is maintaining a low profile, you may not find anything on WhitePages.com, but it is always worth a try. Under "people search," type in her first and last names in the appropriate boxes. If you find too many matches, narrow them down the way you did with the search engines above. If you can narrow it down enough, you may learn both an address and a telephone number.

Step 4
Surf the social networking sites. Is your ex brazen enough to take a page on a social networking site? Law enforcement professionals find perps there; you can, too! To check the major sites, you need to create account. If your children keep you too busy to set them up, ask a friend who enjoys social networking to check for you.

Investigation Professionals
Step 1
Hire a professional investigator who has access to information you can't touch, such as motor vehicle records, professional license searches, and UCC filings. Because he is working just for you, he may accomplish the searches faster than the child support agency. Some investigators help you enforce collection as well. He may not work with you unless the deadbeat parent is four or more months behind in payments, or if you are collecting government support

Step 2
Ask for help. If you prefer to work with someone face-to-face, ask your friends and your attorney for recommendations.

Step 3
Look on-line. Many professional investigators now offer websites, with fee schedules upfront. Some offer money back guarantees.

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Tips & Warnings
Unless you are lucky, you will probably not find your missing partner right away. Keep records of what you learn and when.
Spelling is very important on Internet searches.
Your state child support agency may not have the time to devote to finding your ex. As much as you are able, do your own search as well.
Resources
Guide to State Child Support Agencies
How to Use Search Engines
Deadbeat Dad and Mom Finders
WhitePages.com Nationwide Search
Who Can Help Sponsored
Ask a Lawyer Online Now
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Read more: How to Locate a Deadbeat Dad | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_4423631_locate-deadbeat-dad.html#ixzz0seXB9W4z

The Bad Dads Hall of Fame

2010-07-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

The Bad Dads Hall of Fame

Jim Pierce: Tennis Terror
You know you're a bad sports dad when the rule banning parents for abusive behavior at tennis tournaments is informally named after you. Jim traumatized the stuffy sport by verbally assaulting both his daughter Mary and her opponents — he told a player who beat his child she was "never gonna amount to anything," which seemed uncalled for since her rival was twelve — and smacking other parents and fans. He was worse in private, as Mary alleged he regularly hit her. Mary dumped her coach/parent when she turned eighteen, using restraining orders and bodyguards to make certain he took the hint.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVgfFQn

Ryan O'Neal: Daddy Dearest
The Oscar nominee made headlines in 2007 when he fought his son, Griffin, injuring Griffin's pregnant fiancée and drawing police attention when Ryan tried to calm things down by firing his gun. Ryan has an even worse relationship with daughter Tatum, whose autobiography A Paper Life recounts how dad created a child-friendly environment by constantly bedding potential mommies ("There was never any privacy. You could always hear him.") and ruining her triumphs, like when he allegedly hit her after she was nominated for an Oscar in 1973 and he wasn't.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVmQFNI

Agamemnon: Not So Great Greek
Parenting involves tough decisions, like whether or not you should murder your kids when God tells you to off them. Abraham was spared slaughtering Isaac, but the commander of Greek forces wasn't so fortunate. Facing a lack of wind and eager to attack Troy, he sacrificed his daughter Iphigenia. Predictably, his wife Clytemnestra wasn't pleased that he murdered their child to change weather patterns (and further irritated when he returned from war with Cassandra, a captured mistress), leading her to murder him and in turn be butchered by their son Orestes, who promptly went mad. Top that, Jon and Kate Plus 8.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVsJK1z

The Hangover Father: Stage Parent Supreme
Before this Vegas comedy even hit theaters, there was talk about a scene involving a baby being, shall we say, pleasured. Incredibly, this sequence was filmed not with a doll or a robot or a midget, but an actual infant. How did this happen? Here's Hangover star Bradley Cooper's memory: director Todd Philips was going to ask the baby's mother for permission, only he decided to wait for the "mother to go away and then asked the father. And then it's in the movie." Costar Zach Galifianakis has imagined meeting someone fifteen years from now who'll tell him, "I'm that kid you jerked off. You ruined my life." And none of it would have been possible without daddy.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seVxXvOR

Ivan the Terrible: Lived Up to the Name
Russia's first tsar reigned in a time marked by warfare and general paranoia, so some wanton violence was to be expected. Yet even he felt he'd gone too far when he beat his pregnant daughter-in-law for dressing provocatively until she miscarried and, when confronted by his heir apparent, struck him in the head and killed him, meaning he'd wiped out two generations of his family in an afternoon. Wracked by guilt, Ivan still found it in himself to rule for three more brutal years before passing, but took solace knowing Russian peasants would always remember him (after all, he'd enslaved them).

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seW1oYLh

Joseph Stalin: Learning from Ivan's Mistakes (Sort of)
Stalin killed millions of countrymen, so it's not surprising he was rough on his own kids, too. Upon learning son Yakov had unsuccessfully attempted suicide with a gun, Stalin quipped, "He can't even shoot straight." (Yakov later died in a German prison during WWII after his father declined a prisoner exchange. His other son, Vasily, drank himself to death.) Stalin got along best with daughter Svetlana, but even their relationship was tempestuous, with Stalin irritated by her romantic entanglements with Jews. (One Chosen Beau was sent to a labor camp.)

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seW6yaum

Marvin Gay, Sr.: Pissed-Off Pastor
Motown's crown prince often distanced himself from his father, and not just by adding an "e" to his last name. Marvin Sr. was a fundamentalist preacher but expressed his faith in non-devout ways, such as drinking huge amounts of vodka and cross-dressing. While he beat the entire family, he resented his son in particular. (Marvin's mother said dad simply "didn't love Marvin.") Indeed, Marvin Sr.'s killing of his boy was less shocking than his punishment for the crime: for firing two shots into the man who gave us "What's Going On" and "Sexual Healing" at virtually pointblank range, he received a six-year suspended sentence.

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seWBPRSF

John List: The Do-Over
Debt takes a toll on a man, particularly when he has a family. Few have handled the pressure so poorly as New Jersey's John List, who dealt with economic woes by abandoning his life and starting over... after murdering his three children (he also offed his wife and mother). Caught eighteen years later, he explained he killed them and spared himself because suicide is a sin and he wanted to join them in heaven. He also noted once his scheme began — he killed them over a day, taking a break to rake leaves while waiting for the kids to come home — he had no choice but to move ahead: "It's just like D-Day, you go in, there's no stopping after you start."

Read more: http://www.esquire.com/the-side/feature/dead-beat-dads-060909#ixzz0seWFznd1

Today’s featured Deadbeat Located!

2010-07-02T12:49:00.000-07:00

Today’s featured Deadbeat Located!
June 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
Fayetteville, GA: Hiding for 6 years. Owes $38,660.00, assets located!

2 Responses to “Today’s featured Deadbeat Located!”
James Gary Howell in Brooks Ga…remarried, living with his inlaws and makes about $5,000 a month. He currently owes $11,719.55.

By sheron on Jun 17, 2010
1 Trackback(s)
Jun 25, 2010: ROSS
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DEADBEAT DAD/MOM FINDERS℠, DEADBEAT DAD FINDERS℠ and DEADBEAT MOM FINDERS℠ are trademarks owned exclusively by Tery Adams, exclusive rights thereto will be enforced to the fullest extent of the law. © 2010 DEADBEAT DAD/MOM FINDERS℠

Website

2010-04-30T13:54:00.000-07:00

So I am alone in my house dealing with the fact that I may have Cancer again. I moved here to San Diego five years ago, after my divorce. My sister filed for divorce a short time later. Does it run in our blood?I don't know , all I know is I thought coming home to my family meant we would see eachother and spend loads of time together. I was wrong. It's seems that we are just as far away from eachother no matter the distance.

I have been ill on and off five years. It took time to situate after the divorce, we left with nothing and he gave no support, emotional or financial towards raising the girls. I found out I had Thyroid Cancer Three years ago. It was a shocker, the whole incident was shocking but I dealt with it. One thing I had the most trouble was when I called Jonny, the childrens father, to tell him I was out of surgery. I guess I was looking for sympathy.

Well, he just laughed and hung up the phone on me. I was so very sad. But I hung in there, and survived, and went back to work. A few months later I was fired, heck I've been so sick, Every one quit after that. Except my sister. If they didnt fire me we would all still be together.

I helped my sister get a job interview and she has managed to keep her name out of trouble at my old company. As she moves up , I was moved out, she left her husband on friendly terms, (she held stuff over him), Me and my ex parted on vulgar terms( I turned his ass in), Her ex paid for her car Zero a month due, I have two repos and I am about to lose the Kia (I pay 345 a month), My income goes from 78,000 to 23,000, she gets the bonus I helped the team get, she gets parties and raises. She rents a room to my college from work and gets 500 rent, alimony and child support of a few hundred every other week, she now earns at least 43,000. Heres the clentcher, a few weeks ago I anticipate needing to share expenses, shoot since I have moved here, I have sugessted we move in togehter, the other day I went to B and asked her, since her husband is in the military, she says she doesnt want to drive me crazy , I say I dont care, but she gaffed me. Well the two of them just got a place together, what just happened there, do I stink?

I moved here to be near my family and give my children foundation, I am their only rock. Instead I am sick and a mess, Everyone has deserted our family, and one day the girls will desert me too. Please tell me it isnt so...

Second round of cancer treatment.

2010-04-26T15:59:00.000-07:00

So here I am at the VA hospital waiting for my Thyrogen injection. I'm not looking forward to it. I know what it did to me last time. I got so sick tired cranky and just so sad . I have

2010-04-21T11:48:00.001-07:00

SanDiego6: The USGS reports 6.2-magnitude earthquake has hit the Somoa Islands region. -

This is a test to deadbeat dad blogger

2010-04-21T10:45:00.000-07:00

All people can right thier wrongs with a simple change of attitude. It
can happen .
Pam

Sent from my iPhone

2010-03-10T17:05:00.001-08:00

I am testing blogging from my iPhone how did it work

How to beat the deadbeat dad at thier own game.

2010-03-05T13:52:00.000-08:00

Dear friends.
I have been working for awhile on how to find away to get my ex- husband to become concerned and show care and respect for his daughters. Since we broke up in 2005 , the issues between us festered and were never discussed again, he went his separate way. Away from my voice. the very voice that probably kept him awake at night these past five years. Allot of the words I spoke to him back then were mean ugly and designed to propagate a reaction from him. My purpose back then seemed to be to "drill Seargent" him into conformation. I have spoken directly to him , when that didn't work I spoke AT him. When that didn't work I spoke to the courts, they twisted and distorted my words and never found the truth, they never hosently resolved the issue,nor were they responsible. Later, I will discuss this accusation. Right now I want you all to know that I believe firmly that a person can resolve thier mistakes . Mine was to involve the justice system. They never allow the truth. They applie the law , which gives the victim no rights other than counciling and parking reimbursement. The accussed ? Heavy court fines, no mental evaluations , the wrong charge applied and fought for and the wrong solution. The charge turned into felony,probation. Limiting job prospects. He shouldnt have been charged at all, the issue were domestic and warrented counciling. Keeping America's Families together should be the number one priority! I sincerly believe that every daughter needs thier mother and thier father each for different times in thier lives. we need the complete circle to function evenly in order for the process to flow properly. Family circles must have a common ground. My Ex loves his children , he always has, I have never doubted that, others have never understood why my ex made the moves he did, but I did. Not because I did any one particular thing or many particular things. I do know that the more you call the police on someone the more mean they can become. what more do they have to lose. People can be pushed into corners , left to finacial crisis , mental crisis and physical health crisis, and only until a person has had enough of fallen down enough that he eventually descides to rise again but this time he says, "look how many times I have risen!", instead of "look how many times I have fallen!"( great author , I forgot, someone kickme later)

With the above in mind then I wonder why this man still jumped up and down saying I am not listening. Ahhhhh he does not feel acknowledged.... I get it now. so How do you make a person feel acknowledged? Personally , I discontinued the State run Child Support facility that promised to help work out the situation of child support, I feel they didn't help. They compounded the issue for us. Mainly him. I wasnt getting support to begin with, unless I asked directly for a few hundred. They kept taking his license , a few times were his own dang fault but once was mine becasue I didnt report in time that he made a payment(we had a verbal good faith he gave me a 100 dollars I report full payment, I reported half once and then forgot to report at all next time , tee hee hee, im not perfect) , I was trying to gain his trust then forgot to report, my fault. As soon as he found out on wendsday , I took him to the Child support enforcement office to cancel it in front of him. He is here because I invited him to see his children , well honeslty he asked if he could come stay with me he actually begged to see his children and I felt bad, Both kids had injuries (read my other blogs) Anyway, he is making an effort all of a sudden... I am trying to keep the door open for him, but so far Day four is killing me ...two days to go...

What can she do for you today?

2010-02-23T11:49:00.001-08:00

Your Input wanted!

2010-02-21T12:29:00.000-08:00

Today I thought we would try out my new way of deciding the right thing to do.

The ex hasn't made an effort in 5 years to see his daughters. He has barley paid child support. He hasn't been able to maintain steady employment and has got married and divorced in the last two years. Not to mention that he has also created another child in another state which this new mother wants nothing to do with him.....

OK, enough about him. I have been caring for our daughters for the past five years; I have nurtured every tear about their fathers’ absence. I know how badly they want to have their father in their lives.

Over the past two weekends both daughters individually went out on ski trips and injured themselves. The oldest, 13, fractured her spine on two vertebrate. The youngest 11 got a concussion and retrograde amnesia, so naturally the ex wants to see his daughters. Right?

For some reason he expected to stay at my house.... I would foster this idea except the last time he was in our house he became violent and disruptive.
Plus he said he would stay two weeks and under my conditions and he stayed 8 weeks and disregarded every condition I set forth.

He has no job, (neither do I right now) He has no money, He has no real home. I spoke to him over the phone recently on a number of occasions and It seems he still fly’s into fits of rage or at least that how he seems to me. He began rating what seemed to me as nonsense and past accusations. I feel his toxicity.

From the last incident, he is now on probation in the State of California, until July 2010, He is to have completed anger management by this date. I have asked him to show me that he has followed any of the court orders. He cannot and will not provide this information, Mind you, I am only inquiring because of the welfare and wellbeing I am protecting all of us he left us a complete disaster last time and I won’t tolerate another rath of Jon.

I want him to be near his children but I see a disregard for the law and since that is a fact therefore it must be that there is no real regard for whatever boundaries I may suggest to impose.

Thinking from a Childs perspective I can see several outcomes. One is where I can feel the happiness of being in my father’s hug, running into his arms, smelling his presence. But if he should trip out on a fellow drivers bad maneuver, spilled milk or sibling rivalry what would the perspective feel like? I feel fear and devastation---

Are there overnight supervised visits available for parents that want to come into town and spend time with their kids? Do I just abandon my house and let him be with the children? Actually I don’t want him near my safe place. This is our Safe Place and I don’t want him near this house. So how can I facilitate the father daughter relationship and take myself out of the picture? After all I must be what he hates...

So dear Public--- I'm Scared, I am afraid that he doesn’t have his marble and sense together.... I am afraid that if I inhibit his rights in any way that I could be accused of withholding the children to hurt him, I am afraid that if I allow the visit and facilitate their relationships that the ability of their father is so far inapt that he will inevitably emotional destroy my precious.

What would you do???? Who do I get for help? Both daughter injured this past weekend, both want to see their dad, He will be here on the 2nd???? HELP.

Through The Eyes Of A Child, Divorce Poems

2010-02-10T13:22:00.000-08:00

Through The Eyes Of A Child, Divorce PoemsMy parents got divorced, but why'd I lose my dad?"
Through the Eyes Of A Child
© Brianna K. Slone
When I was only two years old,
My daddy went away.
He swore he'd always love me,
But he said he couldn't stay.
Days turned into weeks
And weeks turned into years.
I never saw my father,
He never saw my tears.
He never read me bedtime stories
Or tucked me in at night.
He never showed up for my birthdays,
But I always hoped he might.
He missed my first day of kindergarten
And all of my school plays.
He doesn't know how smart I am,
My report cards full of A's.
Sometimes I want to call him
To say Hey Dad I'm still alive!
I'll be 16 years old soon,
Will you teach me how to drive?
It’s almost time for college,
The years go by so fast.
I'm looking forward to my future,
But I'm still trapped within my past.
I guess I'll never understand,
Did I do something bad?
My parents got divorced,
But why did I lose my dad?
Through the Eyes Of A Child by Brianna K. Slone @FamilyFriendPoems

Source: Through The Eyes Of A Child, Divorce Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/poetry.asp?poem=1542#ixzz0fAcuNNws

Deadbeat Parents Punishment Act

2010-02-10T12:37:00.000-08:00

As reported at The Department of Justice
Deadbeat Parents Punishment Act

The problem with enforcement under the CSRA was remedied in 1998 with the passage of the Deadbeat Parents Punishment Act (DPPA) which created two new categories of federal felonies for the most egregious child support violators.

The Law Today

Today, a child support violator can be prosecuted under Federal law if the following facts exists: 1) the violator willfully failed to pay; 2) a known child support obligation; 3) which has a) remained unpaid for longer than a year or is greater than $5,000 (misdemeanor), or has b) remained unpaid for longer than two years or is greater than $10,000 (felony) 4) for a child who resides in another state, or 1) the violator traveled in interstate or foreign commerce; 2) with the intent to evade a support obligation; 3) if such obligation has remained unpaid for a period of one year or longer-or is greater than $5,000 (felony). See 18 U.S.C. §228.

Prosecutorial Considerations

Even if the above facts are present in an individual case, a decision whether or not a federal prosecution will be pursued may also include the following considerations: 1) Whether state civil and criminal remedies reasonable available have first been pursued; 2) Whether the violator has exhibited a pattern of moving from state to state to avoid payment; 3) Whether the violator has actually attempted to conceal his whereabouts or identity including using an alias or false social security number; and 4) Whether the violator has failed to comply with a support order despite previous contempt orders in state court.

For further information, go to http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/fct/cshdbk.htm.

Questions, Through The Eyes Of A 6 Year Old Boy

2010-02-10T12:15:00.000-08:00

Poem: A child's innocence is shattered when his daddy leaves.

Questions, Through The Eyes Of A 6 Year Old Boy.
© Adam T. Cumberbatch

Can you tuck me into bed mama?
Don't forget to kiss me goodnight.
Can you tell me a story mama,
Before you turn out the lights?

Can you kiss my forehead mama,
Like you used to do before?
Can you at least tell me you love me mama,
Before you close the bedroom door?

Why don't you wanna talk to me mama?
I miss the sound of your voice.
Mama, can you please say somethin'?
I guess if you don't, it's your choice.

But mama, I have to tell you somethin'...

Even though you're quiet mama,
I know what you're goin' through.
I understand why you cry now mama,
Cause I'm hurtin' too.

Why'd you have to leave us daddy?
I still had some growin' up to do.
Did we somehow make you mad daddy?
Or, were we not good enough for you?

Do you know that mama cries at night daddy?
I think it's cause she sleeps alone.
Daddy, can you please call the house tonight,
Cause mama is waitin' by the phone.

You know mama still loves you daddy?
But I hate you for what you done.
you put tears in mama's eyes, daddy.
And in the eyes of YOUR son.

I thought you said you'd never leave daddy?
You said we'd be pals, you and me.
But, you broke your promise daddy,
Like you broke this family.
Questions, Through The Eyes Of A 6 Year Old Boy. by Adam T. Cumberbatch @FamilyFriendPoems

Source: Questions, Divorce Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/poetry.asp?poem=690#ixzz0fAKO2jsc

What Defines Child Neglect?

2010-02-10T11:45:00.000-08:00

Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl?: The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women Daddy's Little Girl: Stories of the Special Bond Between Fathers and DaughtersFirst defining neglect as per federal laws. extends past the obvious abuses, and encompasses how the majority of parents parent.

Federal legislation lays the groundwork for States by identifying a minimum set of acts or behaviors that define child abuse and neglect. The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA), (42 U.S.C.A. §5106g), as amended by the Keeping Children and Families Safe Act of 2003, defines child abuse and neglect as, at minimum:

Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation; or An act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.

Most Federal and State child protection laws primarily refer to cases of harm to a child caused by parents or other caregivers; they generally do not include harm caused by other people, such as acquaintances or strangers.

The examples provided below are for general informational purposes only. Not all States’ definitions will include all of the examples listed below, and individual States’ definitions may cover additional situations not mentioned here.

Physical abuse is nonaccidental physical injury (ranging from minor bruises to severe fractures or death) as a result of punching, beating, kicking, biting, shaking, throwing, stabbing, choking, hitting (with a hand, stick, strap, or other object), burning, or otherwise harming a child, that is inflicted by a parent, caregiver, or other person who has responsibility for the child.

2 Such injury is considered abuse regardless of whether the caregiver intended to hurt the child. Physical discipline, such as spanking or paddling, is not considered abuse as long as it is reasonable and causes no bodily injury to the child.

Neglect is the failure of a parent, guardian, or other caregiver to provide for a child’s basic needs. Neglect may be:

Physical (e.g., failure to provide necessary food or shelter, or lack of appropriate supervision)

Medical (e.g., failure to provide necessary medical or mental health treatment)3

Educational (e.g., failure to educate a child or attend to special education needs)

Emotional (e.g., inattention to a child’s emotional needs, failure to provide psychological care, or permitting the child to use alcohol or other drugs)

These situations do not always mean a child is neglected. Sometimes cultural values, the standards of care in the community, and poverty may be contributing factors, indicating the family is in need of information or assistance. When a family fails to use information and resources, and the child’s health or safety is at risk, then child welfare intervention may be required. In addition, many States provide an exception to the definition of neglect for parents who choose not to seek medical care for their children due to religious beliefs that may prohibit medical intervention.

4

Sexual abuse includes activities by a parent or caregiver such as fondling a child’s genitals, penetration, incest, rape, sodomy, indecent exposure, and exploitation through prostitution or the production of pornographic materials.

Sexual abuse is defined by CAPTA as "the employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement, or coercion of any child to engage in, or assist any other person to engage in, any sexually explicit conduct or simulation of such conduct for the purpose of producing a visual depiction of such conduct; or the rape, and in cases of caretaker or inter-familial relationships, statutory rape, molestation, prostitution, or other form of sexual exploitation of children, or incest with children."

Emotional abuse (or psychological abuse) is a pattern of behavior that impairs a child’s emotional development or sense of self-worth. This may include constant criticism, threats, or rejection, as well as withholding love, support, or guidance. Emotional abuse is often difficult to prove and, therefore, child protective services may not be able to intervene without evidence of harm or mental injury to the child. Emotional abuse is almost always present when other forms are identified.

Abandonment is now defined in many States as a form of neglect. In general, a child is considered to be abandoned when the parent's identity or whereabouts are unknown, the child has been left alone in circumstances where the child suffers serious harm, or the parent has failed to maintain contact with the child or provide reasonable support for a specified period of time.

Substance abuse is an element of the definition of child abuse or neglect in many States.5 Circumstances that are considered abuse or neglect in some States include:

Prenatal exposure of a child to harm due to the mother's use of an illegal drug or other substance

Manufacture of methamphetamine in the presence of a child

Selling, distributing, or giving illegal drugs or alcohol to a child

Use of a controlled substance by a caregiver that impairs the caregiver's ability to adequately care for the child

Resources

Child Maltreatment 2006

This report summarizes child abuse statistics submitted by States to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System (NCANDS) during 2006. It includes information about child maltreatment reports, victims, fatalities, perpetrators, services, and additional research.

2010-02-09T12:52:00.000-08:00

So I was browsing websites looking for what a parents resposibility is , as defined by law. Here is an excerpt ... "In addition, parents are expected to support their children according to their ability and station in life; this means that the children should share in both parents’ standard of living. (Family Code § 4053) This responsibility falls on both parents equally and applies to children’s adoptive parents as well. (Family Code § 9305) The failure to provide adequate food, clothing, shelter or parental care and supervision may lead to criminal prosecution for neglect. (Penal Code § 270)..."

I believe, this is the law that governs deadbeat dads. but what is the penalty for neglect?

Mother Abuses Child Blames Husband

2010-02-04T12:47:00.000-08:00

Today while watching the Steve Wiko's show I became furious at our society. I feel for the lady screeming on TV and I am horrified that I have any compassion for her.

She became a monster after she got pregnant at 19 by an older guy. He left her to care for the child alone. He didn't contribute to the childs support at all, as I understood it. There is no excuse for hurting a child but I understood this lady, when all her emotions came to surface.

She screamed about how she was left ot provide for this child and it was more than she felt she could handle, with no support, no job, she had gone nuts. She was leaving her child in trash , taping his mouth shut and other horrific things like running off to sell things for scraps to just to survive.

Still I identified, here is why.

Our society has created this circumstance and many others like it! I feel that our society allows men to walk away from thier children but it holds the mothers accountable. how do you feel about this statement?