Dead White Guys: An Irreverent Guide to Classic Literature

Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed and a RANTY RANT

2013-05-06T11:58:00.004-07:00

Tiny Beautiful Things was the best book I read in April- and, to be honest, one of the only books I finished in April. APRIL IS THE CRUELEST MONTH OK LEMME ALONE. I featured the book in Book Riot's Round-Up: TheBest Books We Read in April. For those who don't read the Riot, here's what I said about it:

"I loved Wild when I read it last year, but I hesitated to pick up this collection of pieces from Cheryl’s stint as advice columnist Sugar on The Rumpus. Mostly because I’m not interested in the clichéd platitudes dished out by so many advice columns, and a little bit because I never actually read Cheryl-as-Sugar and was afraid (based on what I’d read in Wild) that this book would be too hippy-dippy for my tastes. INACCURATE. Sugar/Cheryl is a loving hard-ass, the greatest guidance counselor you never had, a maybe-slightly-older-than-you cool aunt who dishes out the hard stuff and then buys you a margarita and a cookie. And yeah, Cheryl can write like a motherfucker."

_____________

IN OTHER NEWS I very angrily DNFd a new book called HomewardBound: Why Women Are Embracing the New Domesticity, which I thought was going to be a feminist look at the DIY/raising chickens/knitting/canning blog phenomenon that's happening these days. It sort of was that, but was mostly the judgiest thing I've ever read. The author is snide, likening women who work from home as bloggers or Etsy crafters as "Avon ladies" and basically suggesting that if you're a stay at home mother (or a work-at-home mother like all the bloggers she highlights, and of course like I am) you're a bad feminist. As in, if you homeschool, you don't care about improving the public school system, and if you work at home for yourself or stay at home with your kids, you're not out making changes for women in corporate America and therefore you're less than.

The author tries to make the trend of women working from home or staying home with kids a sort of rich person's trend, but all the stay-at-home mothers and work-at-home mothers I personally know do so in large part because they can't get jobs that pay enough to cover child care- myself included. And if women in that situation can improve their financial state by doing something they enjoy doing (like knitting, even if it is icky "women's work") and then selling the shit out of their skills, I say more fucking power to them, and who are we to judge women who are just making the best decisions they can for themselves and their family? And now I've come to love working at home so much that if I was offered a corporate office job I would tell the offerer to shove it- even if that means I'm an icky bad feminist.

Making feminism all about abandoning activities that are "domestic" because they're historically associated with women just makes women who ACTUALLY ENJOY THAT SHIT feel guilty- or worse, makes them feel like they are therefore NOT feminists, even if they actually are. "Well shit, I actually enjoy baking and prefer working for myself- guess I'm not a good enough believer in equal rights." Give me a fucking break.I don't usually get so angsty about books I didn't finish because I don't think it's fair, but I gave this book half its length to stop being so offensive and snooty, and it just didn't happen. So I put it down and baked some cookies because I fucking love cookies and I did it in the middle of the day because I was at home with my kids. And you can pry my feminist card from my cold, dead hands.

NOW this rant is not to say you shouldn't read the book. I disagree with what the author is saying, but the conversation about the affects of the rise of domesticity on feminism is one worth having.

Neither Here Nor There by Bill Bryson

2013-04-11T12:58:00.002-07:00

You guuyysss, I hate to travel. Not just like the process of being on a plane or train and smelling that recycled air and being told that I have to turn off my Nook like I'm an infant (though I do, in fact, hate those things), I hate being in places that aren't my house. I don't like not knowing where the closest Chipotle is. I don't like places that don't have Chipotle. I don't find New York magical and fun, I find it too big and everything is annoying and I just want to go home. Replace New York with any other place that isn't my townhouse in Richmond, Virginia, and my feelings are the same.

But I do like travel memoirs? They do exactly what books should do: transport you somewhere without you having to put on pants. And I love Bill Bryson, having read A Short History of Nearly Everything, so I expected this to be pithy and great and it was.

In Neither Here Nor There, Bryson travels across Europe, recreating the trek he made as a backpacking youngster (like you do). He drinks coffee at small cafes in France, marvels at how clean it is in Sweden, remarks on the declining quality of the sex workers in Amsterdam (?), gets grossed out by the piles of trash in Naples and how everyone in Austria hates you (THIS IS WHY I DON'T GO ANYWHERE), etc., etc.

You could rename this book All These People Are Exactly Like Every Cliched Joke You've Ever Heard About Them, And Are In Fact A Little Bit Worse. But The Food is Nice. Sometimes. I was taken aback several times by the complete lack of political correctness Bryson expresses about the various people groups of Europe, but he says them with such aplomb and smart-assitude (which I love) that you're sort of fine with it? Even though you're sort of not? Like, hey that was a really rude thing you just said about secretaries in Holland, but it was really funny. And I've never been there, so maybe they do spend all day sunbathing without shirts on in the park. What do I know.

So the real question for me was: is this book going to make me want to go to Europe? Yeah, no. But I wanted it to! I wanted to be pulled out of my sight-seeing laziness! But mostly he makes All The Countries sound hot and dirty OR freezing cold and also dirty and with long lines to get into the museums and a lot of good food but also a lot of shitty food and sometimes the strangers are rude. WHICH IS EXACTLY LIKE VIRGINIA WHY WOULD I EVER LEAVE.

Ok, I do want to go to Capri because that's maybe the only place he didn't make sound awful. And Amsterdam. PARTS of Amsterdam. The parts without aging hippies. And Paris. BECAUSE IT'S PARIS GET OFF MY BACK.

Three stars out of your mom.

Amazon Buys Goodreads

2013-04-01T06:20:00.001-07:00

This post originally went up on Book Riot on Saturday, but I wanted to have this conversation with readers over here who aren't also Book Riot readers. Let me know what you think about the acquisition!

Goodreads has announced that it has been bought by Amazon. The immediate response on the bookternet (or at least my corner of it) was shock and a fair bit of outrage/disappointment.

The response on Goodreads’ announcement and in their Feedback forum has been overwhelmingly and surprisingly negative. As happens with any big change to something people are used to, Goodreads loyalists are suspicious, upset, and threatening to leave (and some are doing more than threatening- there are plenty of [deleted member] tags on the feedback threads this morning).

I would consider myself a Goodreads moderate-to-super-user: I’m a volunteer librarian for the site, have been a member for several years, am sometimes-active in a handful of groups, and check it daily to update my reading journal (though I use LibraryThing for serious book cataloguing for reasons I’ve previously outlined). After the announcement, I went through one of those Very Emotional And Confused periods of five minutes. But the feelings of shock or disappointment quickly dissipated into a little bit of HEY WAIT A MINUTE I DON’T LIKE AMAZON SORT OF WILL THEY CHANGE STUFF WAIT WAIT WHY ARE THEY EVERYWHERE UGH.

And now I’m pretty much over that and have landed where I think a lot of Goodreads users have landed: cautious optimism, with my finger resting ever-so-gently on the “export” button. Here are a few of my scattered thoughts/concerns:

1. Good on Otis and Elizabeth. They spent five years busting ass to build something interesting and useful for readers that I get daily mileage out of. The number of GR users (somewhere around 16 million) don’t lie: Goodreads is a great site and the builders deserve their pay-out. It doesn’t make them sell-outs. It doesn’t mean they’ve betrayed any noble bookish ideal. They built an innovative start-up that millions of people find value in, and they deserve whatever eight-figure amount Amazon gave them.

2. Indie Bookstores. A lot of the outrage directed at the acquisition is about this: if the 16 million Goodreads users have Amazon buy buttons shoved in their faces, is that going to negatively impact indie bookstore sales? I don’t think it will make a difference. People who shop at indies do so for reasons that don’t have anything to do with the internet (at least in my experience) and will continue to do so. If you’re concerned about the state of indie bookstores, put your money where your mouth is- rage doesn’t pay their bills. The bigger question here is, do you want to continue using a site that is owned by an indie bookstore-killer? This is a little more complicated, but I think it boils down to not mattering (again). Amazon also owns IMDB, which I use frequently but don’t buy anything from, and I think it will be the same here. I’ll use Goodreads and just…keep buying books from the little shop down the street. Talk and righteous indignation are great, but it’s dollars that matter in keeping indies afloat. Deleting your Goodreads account won’t do anything to keep indies’ doors open, and the doings of an international monolithic corporation can quickly become irrelevant to your local indie if enough people in your specific neighborhood are supporting them.

3. Ooohhh, Publishers. This is Awkward. Publishers advertise on Goodreads. Will they continue to do so now that it’s owned by a company that seems hell-bent on market control and sorta-maybe-destroying everything they hold dear (whether or not that’s actually true, that’s often the perception)? Sure they will. Goodreads is the largest bookish community on the internet- the advertisers aren’t going anywhere. What that says about publishers (or at least the Big 6) and Amazon bedding down more and more as time goes on…we’ll have to see.

4. The State of the Review Policy. Is Amazon going to own my reviews? In his comments on the Feedback forum, Otis says that there is no plan to change the review policy (which currently is that you own your reviews). That’s corporate speak for maybe? We’ll see what the new boss wants? This concern also reaches to writing reviews themselves: the Amazon policy is famously draconian, sometimes bordering on censorship. They’ve been known to delete unfavorable reviews. Authors aren’t allowed to review other authors’ books, in some cases. Is this going to happen on Goodreads? Will we lose review freedom and the unbiased, independent nature of the place in order to placate authors or Amazon’s sales department? This is my biggest worry: if my reviews are imported over to Amazon without my permission, or if the “anything goes” review policy changes, I will delete my account with a quickness. But Amazon also owns a minority share of LibraryThing and they have kept all their review policies, so I doubt this will happen.

5. Keep the Authors Away From Me. I’m the type of Goodreads user who does not appreciate the amount of self-published author spam I already get over there- enough that I had to set up a message whenever I get a friend request that amounts to “if I haven’t already shelved your book, please leave me alone.” The communication from Goodreads about the acquisition has a lot of double-speak about how the merge will make it easier for authors to find customers who might otherwise not know about them: does that mean more author spam? Come to think of it, this might also be enough to make me leave the site. I’ve never had an author bother me on LibraryThing, but it’s daily on Goodreads.

6. There’s Nowhere Else To Go. Goodreads’ only real competition is LibraryThing- but Amazon also owns part of that site (LT is partially owned by Abebooks, which Amazon bought). The owners of LT still maintain majority ownership so nothing has really changed over there, but it remains that there are no really effective bookish social media sites that don’t have at least some Amazon presence.* Shelfari, of course, is also owned by Amazon. If you want to avoid Amazon altogether, you’ll have to catalogue your library on a spreadsheet and go back to a reading journal kept on a .doc or in a spiral notebook. On a more universal level, there’s nowhere else to go in almost all of the book world: Amazon is in publishing, self-publishing, e-books, all the social media sites. For many people, this acquisition could be the last straw. They’ll leave Goodreads not because of any particular site change, but because it’s just one more indication that Amazon is monopolizing the book world.

So those are things I’ve been mulling over since the announcement. Review independence, intrusive authors encouraged by a shift from a social media atmosphere to a selling atmosphere, and a mix of “good on ya, Otis.” I haven’t decided if I’m going to delete me account, keep it but stop using it for reviewing, or what. What do you guys think?

*This is not to say that LibraryThing and Goodreads are the same. They have some major differences, not the least of which is how they use your data. Check out this thread from LibraryThing’s owner for their response to the acquisition.

Publisher Swag: Classics Edition

2013-03-30T13:20:00.001-07:00

SOO I've got a few classics-related things that publishers have kindly sent my way over the past little bit that are super-fancy/drool-worthy/cute in which I think you guys might be interested. I guess this is my version of In My Mailbox (do people actually still do that [nevermind, don't answer that]). Actually, I've gotten quite a few things, but these are the ones that I actually think are interesting, so. I'm linking to the Goodreads page for each one so you can check them out on your own if you want to and buy them from whatever outlet makes you happy (FOR NOW, I HATE THAT AMAZON BOUGHT GOODREADS ERGH*):

This is maybe not unrelated.

The Super-Fancy: This edition of F. Scott Fitzgerald's This Side of Paradise from Alma Books

The cover is gilded and shiny, the paper is good quality, and it has end-flaps. Winning.

The Drool-Worthy: Steampunk H.G. Wells from Running Press Kids

This is a hardcover, illustrated collection of The Time Machine, The War of the Worlds, and The Country of the Blind. AS YOU MIGHT IMAGINE, the illustrations are steampunk and colored and very, very nice.

The Cute: This tiny book, Jane Austen: Her Complete Novels in One Sitting from Running Press

Don't let the size of this picture FOOL YOU, for the book is actually POCKET SIZED and WEE. It has character lists and summaries for all of Jane Austen's novels. Would be nice for a super-fan/Jane Austen completist.

There you go! If you've encountered any new editions of classics/classics-related items you'd like to tell everyone about, let me know in the comments!

*I have ranted about the Amazon acquisition of Goodreads and what I think it means for users over at Book Riot, if you care to check that out.

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

2013-03-03T06:13:00.001-08:00

The Song of Achilles is the last book in the Tournament of Books field that I picked up/am going to pick up because meh, the rest of them sound like a parade of White People Problems about which I give no shits.

Also, if you're interested in the TOB, the brackets have been announced here. I expect you to put on your bookie hat and start that wagering.

So The Song of Achilles is a re-telling of The Iliad from the point of view of Patroclus. For those who are unfamiliar with the general myth: Patroclus is super-besties with Achilles, a half-god-half-man who is also the Greatest Living Guy With A Spear. They are in Troy because: war, and also plunder. In The Iliad (spoiler, though I really don't know if you can spoil Homer), Patroclus is killed when he dresses up in Achilles' armor. Achilles then goes on a grief-centered killing spree that eventually results in his own death.

In Miller's re-telling, Patroclus goes to live with Achilles' father as a child after he accidentally kills another boy. He falls in love with Achilles, who is all Golden Hair and Shiny Skin and Smells Like Sandalwood (or something) and all that jazz. There are also gods and centaurs and mythological shenanigans. The beauty of it is how it humanizes Achilles- by showing him through the eyes of the man who loved him, we see a side of a Great Hero of Killing Stuff that we never have. Achilles eating figs, Achilles playing in a river, Achilles running on a beach. Though honestly, I though Odysseus was more interesting than Achilles or Patroclus. While the latter are busy being all moony-eyed and romantic in each other's direction, Odysseus is being smart-assy and trying to win a war, etc.

Which I guess is me missing the point a little. This is a more romantic, gentler, kinder, more victim-of-fate Iliad, and I'm still looking for bits of the bromance, kicking-against-the-goads, let's-run-people-over-with-chariots Iliad. But that's a reading that says more about me than it does about the book.

The writing is lush and evocative and squishes your heart into tiny pieces.

Five stars out of your mom.

Where'd You Go Bernadette and The Round House

2013-02-13T05:45:00.000-08:00

Tournament of Books update! So here's what's the what: the goal was to read the field, but that is not going so well. I'm a DNFer- if a book isn't captivating me within about 50 pages, I give that shiz up and move on. I was on a DNFing streak with a few TOB books, so I've changed the goal from Read the Field to Give Each Book In the Field a Chance to Give Each Book In The Field A Chance/Read the Reviews And If It Sounds Stupid, Skip It.

So I gave up on A.M. Homes' May We Be Forgiven, which was about a middle-aged wealthy white professor's personal problems (ugh, gag me), and then I gave up on The Orphan Master's Son because I just wasn't groovin' on it. The writing was quite lovely, and I might go back to that one later in life (right, like that's really going to happen).

I've also decided to skip Fobbit by David Abrams, or at least skip reviewing it because he is a writer at Book Riot (where I am an editor) and it just gives me the maybe-nots to review a sort-of-not-really-but-maybe-could-be-considered-a coworker. AAANNND I've decided to skip Sheila Heti's How Should a Person Be mostly because of this review which describes it as "a blog circa 2001 by someone who isn't particularly interesting" and because the description makes it sound like a novelized version of the show Girls, which, no thank you. Now on to a few that I did finish:

Where'd You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple

Another Smart Lady Disappears book a la Gone Girl (but really, nothing like Gone Girl). Bernadette is a wealthy former architect-turned housewife who lives in Seattle with her Microsoft guru husband and precocious (of course) daughter. Bernadette turns out to be agoraphobic and a bit nutty, agreeing for some reason to take her daughter on a trip to Antarctica. She hires a virtual assistant in India who takes on more and more of her daily life. Add a dash of Crazy Private School Moms, an interesting format (the book isn't told in traditional narrative, but in the form of letters, faxes, e-mails, etc.), and thoughts on what happens to a creative woman when she becomes a mother, and you've got an original, bizarre thing going. Also, you can tell Semple wrote for Arrested Development. This shiz is funny.

Four stars out of your mom.

The Round House by Louise Erdrich

Hello, unexpected whodunit page turner! So Joe is our narrator, a grown-up recalling events from his childhood. He grew up on a Native American reservation, and one normal day, his mother is brutally raped on a piece of land that might be under tribal jurisdiction, or might be under federal jurisdiction- legal tangles that are common in Native American crimes, and that often prevent justice (especially against women) from ever even starting to happen. I haven't read much literature by Native American authors, and let me tell you- reading this book and then watching the vote on the Violence Against Women Act happen was interesting. I finished a book about violence against Native American women, which happens at a rate twice that of white women, and then watched 22 male Republicans vote against the act because it would allow non-tribal men who violated and abused tribal women on reservations to be prosecuted by the tribal courts. The timing was bizarre, and I am more than glad the act passed having just read something relevant to it, and now I am more convinced than ever of the importance of literature. *steps off soapbox*

Anyway, political thought-provocation aside, the book is brilliant and will wreck your face. It's not just a fascinating mystery and judicial web, it's also a coming-of-age story: after her attack, Joe's mother retreats to her room and doesn't come out for months (understandably), leaving Joe to his own devices. It's poignant and heart-breaking, but in a necessary way.

Five stars out of your mom.

Buy, Borrow, Bypass

2013-02-09T06:49:00.001-08:00

This is a post that I did for Book Riot a few days ago that I wanted to put up here in case some of you aren't readers over there- it's a post about some upcoming books that I'm super-thrilled about and wanted to spread the love for far and wide (one of which is very Vonnegut-ish and another of which is based on the life of Flannery O'Connor, so very relevant vis-a-vis youz guyz).

Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion

R is a young professional with a pleasant life, or at least he was before he became a zombie. Or he think he was, he can’t really remember. Now he lives in an airport with other zombies, listening to old Frank Sinatra records for days at a time and, you know, eating people. His existential ennui finally manifests when he saves a young woman from himself and tries to make the world a better place one grunted syllable at a time. While the movie trailer makes the story seem like a CW-style teen comedy (the movie comes out February 1), the book is decidedly more adult, darkly funny, and violent (obviously). Not your typical zombie book, if there is any such thing.

VERDICT: Borrow if you’re not generally into zombie fare, buy if you are.

Man in the Empty Suit by Sean Ferrell

Every year for his birthday, a lonely and jaded time traveler revisits the same decrepit New York hotel in the year 2071 to celebrate, along with all his other selves. The party is always the same: drunkenness, rice pilaf, bad time travel movies, etc., until his 39th year, when he finds his 40 year old self dead in the hotel elevator. All the selves over 40 are understandably upset (with Self #40 dead, how are we all still here- and will we still be here five minutes from now?), and hoist the responsibility of solving the crime onto Self 39. Enter a mysterious woman with parrot tattoos, a post-apocalyptic Manhattan, Vonnegut-sharp humor and Hemingway-spare prose, and you’ve got some seriously good sci-fi.

VERDICT: Buy, you fools!

The Real Jane Austen: A Life in Small Things by Paula Byrne

A Jane Austen biography told through small items she would have encountered in her personal life- a method that brings the reader a more intimate look at Austen. It’s two parts narrative about the author’s life and one part about how her life influenced her work (for the literary critic among us). An example: Austen discussed Indian shawls in her letters, which Byrne uses to discuss how internationally traveled Austen’s family was, and uses that to defend Austen against accusations of being myopically regional. The book walks a fine line between being academic and being slow, so if you’re not a dedicated Austenophile, it’s probably not for you (but then, any Austen bio probably isn’t).

VERDICT: Buy if you love Austen with all the loves, bypass if not

Frances and Bernard by Carlene Bauer

A novel-in-letters inspired by the lives of Flannery O’Connor and Robert Lowell- but you don’t need to be familiar with them to love this book. The two characters (she a hard and no-nonsense Catholic novelist and he a man-about-town poet) meet at a writer’s workshop and begin exchanging letters, developing an unlikely but natural friendship. It’s the wittiest, most heart-breaking book I’ve read in recent memory. It has several of my literary hot-buttons: dry humor, discourse on faith or the lack thereof, romance, New York, mockery of writers colonies, feminist considerations about sacrificing your own art for those you love (or not), smart literary allusions a-plenty. The characters’ voices are clear, the writing is heart-stopping-good. I haven’t heard much buzz about this book, but it deserves All The Buzz. ALL OF IT.

Verict: Buy It. Buy All The Copies You Can Find, and Use the Extras To Decorate Your Town With Amazing Prose.

Updates Various and Sundry

2013-02-05T08:46:00.001-08:00

Things Which Are New: Personal Edition

I am on the Tumblr (why is there no eeeeeee for the love of God). So far, I am mostly Tumbling fancy-pants quotes about writing and feminism, GIFs, and videos of Bill Murray reading poetry. So.

Those of you who read Book Riot (for which I am a contributing editor) know that our book Start Here: Read Your Way Into 25 Amazing Authors is now available (woot)! I'm super proud of this project- it's a compilation of essays about how to dive into authors that a lot of people avoid because they don't know where to start. I have chapters in there about Dickens, Jane Austen, and E.M. Forster- there's also bits about Stephen King, Neil Gaiman (written by Erin Morgenstern, who wrote The Night Circus), Margaret Atwood, Haruki Murakami, and a bunch more. You know, until you get to 25.

ALSO if you read Book Riot, you might be aware that we are in the process of launching a sister site: Food Riot. It's a baby site right now, and the full muchacha will be up at the end of March. I am the Community Manager for Food Riot, so I'll be the voice behind the Twitter and Facebook page (and Pinterest and Tumblr and G+, oh my). Give us a follow if you want to hear me babble about Nutella and beer and bacon and how stupid Whole Foods is.

Carry on, book-types.

Bill Bryson, Bill Bryson

2013-02-01T07:50:00.001-08:00

I like science-y books, especially science-y books about the Beginning Of Time and also Black Holes with a few references to Billions of Years Ago and In The Future, Our Galaxy Will Collide With Some Other Big Ass Thing. In that vein, I picked up Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything, which is...a short history of nearly everything.

This is Bill. And also you, after you read the book, to all your loved ones.

It scratches all the science itches in a way that is ACCESSIBLE (important because I don't understand stuff) without sounding PANDERING (important because I like to pretend that I understand stuff and don't want to be talked down to, dammit).

As any good history book would, it starts at the beginning with the chemical(ish) composition of the pre-universe just before the Big Bang, continues through the formation of aforementioned universe and various galaxies, to the formation of our solar system and planet, to the rise of life, the history of geology and chemistry, the WTFery of quantum physics, and finally the evolution of man and a few questions about our future.

A few things I learned that I read aloud to the husband, and will therefore make you suffer the same fate:

Proxima Centauri, the closest star to us, is 4.3 light years away, which would take you 25,000 years to reach by regular spaceship. HURRY UP AND GIVE US WARP DRIVE, SCIENCE.
Because scientists, while being Very Smart and Able, are also Messin' With Shit They Don't Understand and Are More Often Wrong Than Right, every radiocarbon date you read today is too young by around 3% (that's a whole lotta too young when you're talking millions of years, there).
The captain of the HMS Beagle chose Darwin as a traveling companion because he liked the shape of Darwin's nose. RELATED: Darwin never used the phrase "survival of the fittest." Middle school science teachers, you lie!
Despite proof to the contrary that existed for decades, geologists didn't accept plate tectonics as fact until like the 70s or 80s- I can't find the highlighted section so I don't know the exact date but DAYUM. Get with it.

My biggest takeaway (aside from the science) was all gossip about the SCIENTISTS. THESE GUYS, let me tell you. Now, I come from a fairly conservative Southern Baptist background and so much of the time I'm reading about their antics and thinking- you guys sound like old, white, Southern Baptists preachers, with your NO NEWFANGLED IDEAS, PLEASE and your WE DON'T ADOPT NEW METHODS EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE PROVEN BY SCIENCE BECAUSE WE ARE JERKS SORT OF and your SCIENCE IS ALWAYS RIGHT BY WHICH I MEAN MY BRAND OF SCIENCE AND NOT THAT GUY'S. Suffice it to say, my biggest realization here was that historically speaking, scientists can be (and usually are, if Bryson is to be believed) just as fundamentalist and close-minded as the most churchy of church people, often with equally ridiculous and harmful results.

So if you want to know all the things about everything, ever, this is what you should read. However, be prepared for a healthy dose of Bryson reminding us that science itself is an evolving process and for as much as we know, there are approximately infinity things that we do not know/are wrong about.

Jane Austen Giveaway Winners

2013-01-28T06:58:00.000-08:00

Happy 200th anniversary of Pride and Prejudice, Austenites. May you spend your day wearing lace and drinking tea and sobbing quietly into handkerchiefs because of reasons. Reasons that include this:

Objectifying literary figures, ahoy!

Anyway. As you all know, I've been running a giveaway to celebrate this anniversary, and I have drawn the winners. Here they be:

Mallorie (mallorie.colvin) and Gil (ggadgil88) are each the winners of a copy of The Jane Austen Handbook from Quirk Books, and Ellison (Ellison.langford) is the winner of the fawncy hardcover copy of Pride and Prejudice. If you three could email me your addresses for shipping, that would be great (also, I've emailed each of you separately so check your spam filter if you haven't gotten it).

So what's coming up? Well I've just finished both Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything and can't stop talking about Darwin's nose and quarks and whatnot, so I'll be talking about that more when my brain settles. I'm also making good progress on the Tournament of Books field, so expect an update on that as soon as I finish A.M. Homes' May We Be Forgiven, which so far is just weird as shit. So. We'll see how that goes.

Carry on!

Jane Austen Giveaway WUT

2013-01-20T11:57:00.000-08:00

January 28th is a special day. It's a day that will eternally live in infamy (or something). It's the 200th anniversary of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice! I will admit that it's not my favorite Austen for a number of reasons, the biggest one being that I have a cold, diamond-hard heart. Also, I think Mr. Darcy is a pain in the ass.

BUT! I know this book is near and dear to the heart of a lot of people, and its literary merits can't be denied, so! Celebratory giveaway, ahoy!

What's the Prize, Sucka?

Haha, j/k. You wish. (I also wish.)

Two winners will get a copy of Quirk Books' Jane Austen Handbook: Proper Life Skills From Regency England by Margaret Sullivan. This book was a mainstay on my staff-pick shelf when I was a bookseller, and is a perfect companion to your next reading of P&P. Publisher's synopsis:

"The Jane Austen Handbook offers step-by-step instructions for proper comportment in the early 19th century. Readers will discover:

• How to Indicate Interest in a Gentleman Without Seeming Forward
• How to Ensure a Good Yearly Income
• How to Ride Sidesaddle
• How to Behave at a Dinner Party

Full of practical directions for navigating the travails of Regency life, this charming illustrated book also serves as a companion for present-day readers, explaining the English class system, currency, dress, and the nuances of graceful living."

One additional winner will get a copy of the lovely White's Fine clothbound hardcover Edition of Pride and Prejudice. It's FAWNCY.

To Enter:

Per the usual, leave a comment below with your e-mail address to enter. You can also tweet about the giveaway and that will count as an entry- just be sure to tag me (@deadwhiteguys) so I can keep track of the Twitter entries. The giveaway will end on the anniversary, January 28th, and I'll announce the winners that day. Winners will be chosen at random using random.org. Winners one and two will win the Jane Austen Handbook, and winner three will win the P&P.

Godspeed, Austenites! Run like the wind!

Tournament of Books: Reviewlets and Updates

2013-01-17T11:45:00.000-08:00

As you knoweth, I'm reading (most of) the field of the Morning News' Tournament of Books, which is like March Madness but with books and therefore superior to all other March Madnesses, basketball or otherwise. I've made a bit of progress and it is therefore time for an updiddle!

The Field of Finalists That I've Completed/Am Skipping

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn- already read it

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (have tried and hated this book twice, skipping it)

Arcadia by Lauren Groff- already read it, but there's a great discussion about its TOB chances over on Book Riot

Bring Up The Bodies by Hilary Mantel- reviewlet below

Dear Life by Alice Munro- review to come on Book Riot in a few days

Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter- already read it, here's the Book Riot discussion

Building Stories by Chris Ware- (skipping this one, too- it's $50, and that's a no-go)

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk by Ben Fountain- reviewlet below

Hokay so! Reviewlets! I'm pretty sure I stole this term from Raych.

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk by Ben Fountain

Let me start by saying I am not into war novels because they make one FEEL ALL THE FEELINGS and I don't like feeling. Well. Anything. So I went into this book with trepidation in one hand and tissues in the other.

You guys, this book is fan-fucking-tastic. It's about a 19 year old American soldier (Billy, natch) who is home from Iraq, where he fought heroically in a short battle with insurgents. The government has brought him home, along with his unit, to do a "victory tour" that includes being presented in the half-time show of the Dallas Cowboys Thanksgiving football game. We're with Billy as he deals with (or tries to deal with) the death of his comrades, the terror he has when he thinks about going back, and all the well-meaning but full-of-shit Americans who are always wanting to prattle on about thanking him for his service and about turning Iraq into a glass parking lot for liberty and for Jesus. They (and most of us, of course) have no idea what they're talking about- and yet here's Billy, risking his life for them. Why?

The writing is amazing. It's beautiful and gut-wrenching. Fountain writes with this frightening clarity- you know exactly what Billy is going through, but you maybe don't want to because it makes you, and all of us in this country, vaguely guilty of something. The book is a mirror, showing Americans our tendency to treat our veterans like football stars, which allows us to put a distance between ourselves and the dirtiness of war. After all, it's all a show.

Five stars out of your mom. FIVE BIG, SOUL SUCKING STARS.

Bring Up The Bodies by Hilary Mantel

In this sequel to Wolf Hall, King Henry is losing interest in Anne Boleyn. The book starts at the moment Henry begins to fall for Jane Seymour and follows Thomas Cromwell's involvement in bringing Anne down (and by down I of course mean decapitated and buried which is NOT A SPOILER LEARN YOUR HISTORY, PEOPLE) to clear the way for the King to marry this new lady.

I thought this was MUCH better than Wolf Hall- the weird POV issues that are so distracting in the first book are ironed out here, so the reading experience is smoother. And the bloat that Wolf Hall suffers from isn't an issue in Bring Up The Bodies- it's a good 200 pages shorter, and much tighter. In the first book, there's never really an explanation of Cromwell's motivations outside of Daddy issues, but they're fleshed out in the sequel in a satisfyingly complex way. He's aiding Henry for so many reasons- personal revenge, religious ones, ambition, political beliefs, etc. I'm so fascinated with the character that I might even skip the third book- I don't want to follow him onto the scaffold (again, history: Henry killed Cromwell a few years after Anne's death).

In sum: damn good. Well played, Mantel, well played. Five stars out of your mom.

Random Experiment (?) for 2013

2013-01-14T14:43:00.001-08:00

You guyssss, 2013 is 1/24th over and I have done so little.

That's not true, I'm kicking 2013's ass. I own 2013! I making it my servant (originally typed "making it my bitch," then seriously spent five minutes debating the gender politics of it, erased it, then gave up on the joke. As you can tell.)

Moving on.

So anyway, I've turned my reading life into a kind of experiment/survey for retrospective viewing for 2013. I am going to read whatever I want, since I'm no longer a book seller and don't really have to read every new big thing in order to have an opinion on it. The survey part is that I'm going to take note of where I bought the book and/or why I'm reading it. Was it recommended by a friend, someone on Twitter, sent to me by a publisher, caught my eye via a review in the New York Times (yeah, right) shoved down my throat on any number of social media outlets until I finally caved, etc.

I got the idea from this Verso presentation on book-buying behavior (seriously, check it out if you're into powerpoints because it's interesting), but I feel like their data doesn't really apply to me. Their "avid" reader is someone who buys ten books a year.

I buy ten books A TRIP. So. I need my own survey. I don't know that this information will be interesting to anyone, but I thought it would be nice to see where an ACTUAL avid reader gets recommendations.

Carry on, internet.

Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel

2013-01-04T07:44:00.000-08:00

As you all know, I'm attempting to read the field of the Tournament of Books (with the exception of the John Green because I've tried given up on that book twice, also with the exception of Building Stories because it's a million dollars). The tournament includes Hilary Mantel's Bring Up The Bodies, so I decided to read Wolf Hall in preparation.

Hoookay so Wolf Hall is about the life of Thomas Cromwell, courtier and advisor of Henry VIII- you know Henry VIII, yes? He of the many wives? Excellent. Moving on. Let me start by saying that I have a history degree and tend to get a bit STABBY when historical fiction is blatantly inaccurate, and this is not that. Mantel's research was obviously meticulous. Apparently she made files for each character that had their whereabouts on all the particular dates in her novel. Girlfriend was PREPARED. This is some IMPRESSIVE SCHOLARLY SHIZ. PHILLIPA GREGORY LICKS HER SHOES.

The prose is crazy-impressive but also challenging. The POV shifts and it isn't always immediately clear who is doing the thinking/talking (when in doubt: it's Cromwell), and it sometimes pokes its little prose-y turtle head over into stream-of-consciousness so you have to actually pause and go, wait. What does that have to do with anything? And then the brilliance of the thought comes to you and you cry a little. Or, you know, whatever.

So the book is accurate, and it's brilliantly written, and it successfully makes Thomas Cromwell sympathetic which is a feat in and of itself. But I do have a few qualms: it could've been about 50 pages shorter, and Henry himself is just sort of...there. Being a jackass. I want to KNOOWWWW what was in his mind- what does a man think when he abandons his wife of 20 years for her servant? What does a man think when he sends someone to be burned or drawn and quartered? How does a man destroy an entire church system (not that it was a good one, mind) so that he can have his way?

But the book isn't really about him, so. More relevant to the book- how does a person like Cromwell help him do all of that? The only answer I can think of and the only one Mantel really presents is ambition and daddy issues. Maybe it was that simple.

It's obviously thought provoking, and hard to think about through the film that covers my American, democratic mind.

This is also stream of thoughts I had while reading Wolf Hall: Thomas More was suuuccchh an icky guy, what with the burning of all the people and the torturing of all the other people (and sometimes the same people). Can't believe that guy wrote Utopia. Though, thinking back, I thought Utopia was silly and gross. And now I won't ever be able to respect Drew Barrymore in Ever After ever again because she likes that book so much. WAY TO RUIN A 90s MOVIE FOR ME, HILARY. WAY TO GO.

To summarize: Wolf Hall- hard but rewarding prose, fascinating portrayal of Thomas Cromwell and Thomas More, not-so-fascinating portrayal of King Henry, a bit too long, but worth it.

Four stars out of your mom.

2012: What Sucked And What Was Anti-Suck

2013-01-02T05:39:00.000-08:00

I am late to the year-in-review party because I'm late to every party, stop pressuring me. Just kidding, pressure me, I like pressure. *nudge nudge*

What were we talking about?

So I read 81 books in 2012, NOT counting re-reads because the Goodreads count-y tool is a TOOL USING THE HOMONYM-ISH MEANING AS IN A JERK. So I'm not actually sure exactly how many books I read. The goal in 2013 is to read 100 books, which is always my goal but doesn't...ever...happen.

Best Book of 2012

I actually did a top 10 list in haiku format over at the Book Smugglers. To that list, I would add Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk (more on that to come later), Brain on Fire by Susannah Cahalan, and Pam Houston's Cowboys Are My Weakness.

Worst Book of 2012

Judging from the books I gave Very Few Or Only One Star in 2012, these are the worst books of last year for me: Gibran's The Prophet. Lisa See's Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, and Karen Russell's Swamplandia! (ugh, I get pissed just thinking about that book).

Book I Recommended Most (stole this question from Laura)

2012 was my year as a bookseller, so I did a good bit of recommending. I hand-sold Lydia Netzer's Shine Shine Shine more than any other book. After that, it would be Gone Girl.

Most Random Book:

I read Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity at someone's recommendation, but I can't remember who. I might've been an aggregate recommendation of The Internet. I have a prejudicial hate towards self-improvement books, but this one was AWESOME-SAUCE. Perfect for list-makers/productivity and efficiency fetishists, and app nerds, of which I am all of those things.

Gender Breakdown:

Books by men: 44%

Books by women: 56%

Girls.

Genre Breakdown:

YA/Middle grade/kids: 10%

Classics: 21%

Literary fiction: 28%

Short stories: 6%

Sci-fi/Fantasy: 6%

Memoir: 8% (all by women)

Other non-fic (history/theology/science): 15%

Mystery: 6%

Bye-bye, 2012! Smell ya later.

Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham

2012-12-27T08:25:00.000-08:00

I must preface this by saying that my husband read it when he was 18 and back then he said it was whiny and annoying, so I went into this experience with the prejudices of an 18 year old boy. The husband was THE WRONGEST and now has to listen to my DEMANDS that he RE-READ IT IMMEDIATELY and correct those MOST ERRONEOUS thoughts.

Philip is our hero extraordinaire here- an orphan with a club foot who is raised by his silly and joyless uncle the Vicar and his wife, same. We accompany Philip as he goes off to boarding school, decides to chuck becoming a Vicar because he doesn't have the constitution for believing in God, and trundles off to Paris to be an ARTISTE. In Paris, he does many ARTISTE-Y things like having ARTISTE-Y conversations with other (mostly) middle class, young ARTISTES pretending to have anything other than middle class thoughts. So there's a good bit of WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE and NO NO YOUR TASTE IN ART IS AWFUL THEREFORE YOU HAVE NO SOUL and I AM A TRUE ARTIST/PAINTER BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE STUFF WITH RELIGIOUS STUFF.

Eventually Philip gets a bit hmm, these folks are silly, and goes back to England to become a doctor. Along the way he has various and sundry adventures, including but not limited to: becoming obsessed with a hooker, experiencing poverty, befriending a Dickensian family that has Love But Not Much Else, and having lots and lots of epiphanies.

This is the best epiphany: "He thought of his desire to make a design, intricate and beautiful, out of the myriad, meaningless facts of life: had he not seen also that the simplest pattern, that in which a man was born, worked, married, had children, and died, was likewise the most perfect? It might be that to surrender to happiness was to accept defeat, but it was a defeat better than many victories."

The books is largely autobiographical, so Philip's sort of Nietzsche-ish/nihilistic point of view shouldn't be surprising if you've read any of Maugham's other work. It's a world view that I find mostly silly and selfish if we're being perfectly honest, but I agree with the conclusion of aforementioned epiphany except that I don't find being happy to be a defeat. Philip wants to be some sort of epic hero, though, so having a life of fulfilling contentment is something he disdains, then later accepts as his only real option. Actually, Maugham's ruminations on/ loving criticism of the middle class was my favorite bit of this book. He is WAY more respectful of his subjects than, say, Franzen (who is, as we all know, an ass).

I didn't think the prose itself was really anything to shake a stick at, though I never really do with Maugham. But Philip's intellectual journey is totally gripping (thatswhatshesaid) and I'm sure that I would find some of his soul-angst much more affecting if I had a heart. But, alas. I am cold.

Your tears don't affect me, boy.

Four stars out of your mom.

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!

2012-12-26T09:16:00.000-08:00

So I gathered together all the entries for the Penguin Classics hardcover holiday giveaway and combined them with the Twitter entries. I assigned each entry a number and used Random.org to draw the winner. Aforementioned winner is: @DuchessCadbury, who I've notified on Twitter. If you didn't get my tweet, lady, please email me your mailing address and the hardcover you've selected.

Thank you for participating, everyone! And if you didn't win, you should still go buy these books because they are fancier than the fanciest fancy pants.

NELSON OUT.

Tournament! Of! Booooookkkkksss!

2012-12-23T05:23:00.001-08:00

The Tournament of Books approacheth! Let us have a moment of silence in appreciation.

That was fun.

So the Tournament of Books, for those who don't know, is the bookish version of March Madness hosted by The Morning News. Every year, the staff over in those there parts consult with publishers, booksellers, their moms, and cowboys in bars (according to their website, that last part is totally true) to pick out some of the best fiction of the previous year (so 2012 for this one). The final books are then put into brackets where they have to FIGHT TO THE DEATH, and by death I mean an appointed judge picks which one is better and will therefore advance to the next bracket. The judges are authors/editors/publishing people/bloggers/journalists, etc. There's also a zombie round, where readers can resurrect an eliminated book and have it put back into the competition. The winner wins The Rooster! (I don't think that really means anything.)

They've released the list of finalists super-early this year so that people can read as many as they want before the For Real For Real bracketing starts in March- and I am going to read them all (except one)!

The List of Finalists! (bolded are the ones I've already read, don't know if I'm re-reading them yet)

HHhH by Laurent Binet

The Round House by Louise Erdrich

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (TOTALLY skipping this one)

Arcadia by Lauren Groff

How Should a Person Be? by Sheila Heti

May We Be Forgiven by A.M. Homes

The Orphan Master's Son by Adam Johnson

Ivyland by Miles Klee

Bring Up The Bodies by Hilary Mantel

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

Dear Life by Alice Munro

Where'd You Go, Bernadette? by Maria Semple

Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter

Building Stories by Chris Ware

[winner of the pre-tournament playoff round]

Pre-Tournament Playoff Round

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk by Ben Fountain

Fobbit by David Abrams

The Yellow Birds by Kevin Powers

So, these are the books you should expect to hear a lot of chatter about here for the next little while- and keep an eye on Book Riot, as well- this event is a favorite of most of the contributors over there and there will be MUCHOS TONS of coverage (including some from me).

I'm starting with Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk because...that's the only one the library had available for immediate download to my Nook. I'll also be reading Hilary Mantel's Wolf Hall in preparation for reading Bring Up The Bodies, which is the sequel.

Rooster on, readers. Rooster on. (And let me know if you're going to read the field, too!) I hope your favorites make it far.

Changes, They Are A-Comin'

2012-12-20T07:22:00.002-08:00

Guuuyysss I've been doing this blog for years! YEARS PLURAL! I love this effing place. It's allowed me to find my people, to snark in ways I've never snarked before, and it's led me to a career in talking about books and bookish things over at Book Riot that helps make it possible for me to work at home whilst not wearing any pants.

In the time since I started blogging about books, I've obtained and left a job as a bookseller (well, sort of, January 1 is my last day), had twins, and seen my book taste evolve dramatically. I no longer feel like the only authors worth reading died before 1960. Of my favorite books read in 2012, several of them were written by people who are still around.

What I'm saying is that I'm in a different readerly place and this blog is going to evolve to reflect that because IT'S MY BLOG, DAMMIT. You'll notice changes to the banner and the subtitle, but the name will stay the same because I still read All The Classics and I'm Too Lazy To Change It.

What you can expect from me from now on: the same stuff, but with a lot more contemporary literature. I analyzed my reading from this year, and about a 25% of it consisted of classics. That means that most of what I read, I don't talk to you guys about because of the constraints of the blog's title, and that is ZE DUMBEST.

I think a change in the direction of the blog will be fucking awesome and will lead to more talky-talk without sacrificing the tone or spirit of what I'm doing here, which is humanizing reading and books (especially the hard stuff) so that more people will do it (the reading) and talk about it.

So, what sort books are we going to be talking about now? Well, based on my reading from last year, it'll be a mixture of literary fiction, awesome genre fiction (Gone Girl, what), lots and lots of backlist, memoirs, history, science writing (I'm reading A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson right now)...

...and classics.

I hope you'll stick around because if you don't I'LL FIND YOU. Just kidding about that last part.

Holiday Giveaway, Suckas!

2012-12-19T04:52:00.000-08:00

It's time for that thing I do every year in December- give away a thing! This giveaway is international because I can't stop feeling guilty about the Anna Karenina one wherein the promo company limited it to the U.S. only. Makes me SOIRRITATEDANYWAYMOVINGON.

Get To The Point: What Am I Winning, Ladypants?

Bueno! One winner will get a Penguin classic hardcover of your choice (priced at $25 or less, but as far as I can tell they're all $25 or less, so) designed by Coraline Bickford-Smith. WOULD YOU LIKE EXAMPLES GREAT HERE ARE SOME OF MY FAVORITES:

You can see all your options on the designers website under "Hardback Classics."

Oh, Those ARE Fancy. So What Do I DOOOO?

Like always, just leave a comment below with your name and e-mail address. You can also tweet about the giveaway for an extra entry- just be sure you tag me (@deadwhiteguys) so I can count it. If I tweet about it, you can retweet me and that also counts as an entry.

I have the attention span of a gerbil, so this giveaway will close on Christmas Eve, December 24th, at midnight. I will randomly select the winner from all the entries on December 26th, and will announce the winner that day or the day after, depending on the severity of my Christmas hangover. If the winner comes from Twitter, I'll notify you there as well.

Fin.

Sally forth and book shop.

Because in High School, We Were All Bitches

2012-12-09T06:13:00.002-08:00

So I went to a "gifted" high school, which is basically code for Everyone In These Four Walls Is A Major Smart-Ass Know-It-All. My two best friends and I were the resident culture snobs- we went to all the shows of all the bands before those bands were cool, we took all the art and theater classes, we read All The Books.

We also had a list of books you had to read (or be in the process of reading) to be our friend (even though we ourselves hadn't read all of them).

We weren't really that smart.

It was a combination of snobbishness and good, old-fashioned social awkwardness- we really didn't have anything to say to you outside the language of our pop culture ingestion, and we didn't have the skills or emotional maturity to care about whatever it was you were interested in. Also, what you were interested in was inferior. Also, we know more about books than you do, and books are how you are smart, therefore we are smarter than you.

I remembered the list because every year, my best friends from high school try to get together for each other's birthdays, and last week we got together for mine. The list was recalled and then ONE OF MY FRIENDS FOUND IT. I present it to you- this is my friend Tiffany's copy, so the things that are crossed off aren't necessarily ones that I had read by that point:

Note the "read these or die, SMILEY FACE" on the second to last page. There are a few different handwritings because all three of us made contributions (which is also probably why there are repeats).

I look back and think WOW I WAS AWFUL, but really, not much has changed. I still spend most of my time with people who read because I don't have much in common with people who don't, and I suck at small talk and have no people skills so I'm bad at pretending that I'm interested in stuff like your favorite football team or how much you like hiking or whatever.

But at least now I don't have a list of required reading. I AM GROWING, PEOPLE.

Winners: Anna Karenina Giveaway

2012-11-27T05:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday marked the close of the Focus Features Anna Karenina giveaway! Thanks for participating, everyone who...participated (and for the international readers out there, I'll be running another giveaway for the holidays that is open to everyone).

SO! Without further ado, the winners of a movie tie-in edition of Anna Karenina, as well as the movie's soundtrack, a votive candle, and a bookmark are: Lauren Ozanich and Amanda (akpatchin), selected by random.org. I've sent you two e-mails to get your mailing addresses, which I will then forward on to the movie promotion company and they'll be mailing you your prizes.

Congrats to the winners!

Anna Karenina Giveaway

2012-11-19T05:27:00.001-08:00

So the kind reps of Focus Features contacted me about sponsoring this here giveaway in support of the upcoming release of the new Anna Karenina movie (by sponsoring I mean they're providing the prizes, not that they've paid me or anything). I said HECK TO THE YES because AK is easily one of my top five favorite novels and I want to get copies into people's hands, whether they have Keira Knightley's face on the cover or no.

Movie Info

Trailer n' shiz.

Release Date: November 16, 2012

Nationwide Release: November 30, 2012

Studio: Focus Features

Starring: Keira Knightley, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Jude Law, Matthew Macfadyen, Domhnall Gleeson, Alicia Vikander, Kelly Macdonald, Ruth Wilson, Olivia Williams, and Emily Watson

Directed By: Joe Wright (“Pride & Prejudice”, “Atonement”)

Written By: Tom Stoppard (“Shakespeare in Love”)

"Anna Karenina is acclaimed director Joe Wright’s bold, theatrical new vision of the epic story of love, stirringly adapted from Leo Tolstoy’s great novel by Academy Award winner Tom Stoppard (Shakespeare in Love). The film marks the third collaboration of the director with Academy Award-nominated actress Keira Knightley and Academy Award-nominated producers Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner, and Paul Webster, following their award-winning box office successes Pride & Prejudice and Atonement."

Giveaway Info

The giveaway is limited to U.S. participants only (sorry, I know, but I didn't make the rules for this one- I will be running another classics giveaway in December like I always do and that will be international).

So! Two winners will get a movie tie-in edition of Anna Karenina (Lousie and Alymer Maude translation), along with the movie's soundtrack and a Votivo candle and bookmark.

To Enter- Just leave your name and e-mail address in the comments below between now and November 26. I will draw two random winners on November 27th. I'll e-mail the winners and get your shipping address, which I'll then send to the movie promoters so they can ship your prizes out to you.

I'd also appreciate it if you tweeted/Facebooked/whatevered the shiznit out of this because ALL THE PEOPLE SHOULD READ THIS BOOK. And you know what makes people read books a whole lot? WHEN THE BOOKS ARE FREE, AMIRITE (and also when they've seen a pretty movie with pretty people in it, maybe)? There are little buttons below this post for sharing on various social media type things. Anywoot, Godspeed, gentle readers. Or, you know, aggressive readers. Whatever gets your goat.

The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins

2012-11-14T19:01:00.000-08:00

My Meets-In-Real-Life-And-Drinks-Wine-And-Is-Supes-Fun book club selected The Moonstone for our December meeting, which I was ecstatic about because I am an honorary member of the Cult of Wilkie, having read and loved The Woman in White. This dude writes THE SHIT out of some campy Victorian mysteries.

So! The Moonstone is a Very Large Yellow Diamond stolen from the head of the statute of a Hindu moon god in India by a Very Nasty Englishman. The diamond makes its way back to England, where it ends up in the house of a posh, respectable family who do posh, respectable things. NATCH, the rock is cursed (ish) and all sorts of icky badness RAINS DOWN on the heads of our saucy heroine and her noble love interest. There is also a butler who opens to random pages of Robinson Crusoe when he needs wisdom (kinda like my grandma used to do with the Bible), and a clinically depressed reformed thief/wannabe temptress with a wonky shoulder, AND AND AND a band of ROVING ORIENTALS (Wilkie's word, that one) out to return the diamond to its rightful place at all costs. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, PEOPLE?

Predictably, there is a good bit of ZEE ROMANCE a la Victoriana- you know what I mean, lots of tension that happens whilst doing something harmless like drinking tea or taking a walk. Lots of DECLARING OF LOVE at inopportune moments, lots of pining, lots of waiting hopelessly for years for your beloved, lots of self-sacrifice, etc., etc.

Impressively, the story is told from several first person points of view, so you get the history of the diamond from eye witnesses. Now, I knew Mr. Wilkie was the master of the sorta-tawdry-and-therefore-awesome mystery, but I did NOT know the man could write such distinct voices so well. We move from an aging butler to a religious fanatic spinster to a respectable lawyer to a charming rogue-hero type, and each character is completely distinguishable from the next. Whattaya know- you come for the murder/mayhem and you stay for the impressive literary skillz.

So, if you're ever in the market for a Charles Dickens-meets-Agatha-Christie-meets-melodramatic-gothic-novelist, Wilkie's your guy.

Four stars out of your mom, mostly because of the butler and the funny things he says about marriage.

Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut

2012-11-05T04:34:00.003-08:00

I embarked on a re-read of Slaughterhouse Five with Greg of New Dork Review of Books for Book Riot's Vonnegut Day (here's the post we wrote together about the experience, if you're interested) and man. That is one bleak read, which explains why I loved it so hard in high school (I also lurved it this time because it's darkly hilarious which is my favorite kind of hilarious and his prose is deceptively simple. Like Hemingway, if Hemingway was a total smart-ass and also made pencil drawings of boobs).

The resemblance, she is uncanny.

For those of you who didn't go through the requisite Vonnegut-lurve as an adolescent like the rest of us did, let me catch you up to speed here: in Slaughterhouse Five, the main character Billy Pilgrim is an accidentally-time-traveling (maybe) veteran of World War II who was present at the fire-bombing of Dresden, Germany, and who was also kidnapped by aliens (maybe). The aliens who (maybe) take Billy teach him that all of time has already happened at the same time that it is happening and at the same time that it is always happening, so each moment is both inevitable and inalterable. Vonnegut drives this point home by stating "So it goes" (you know, that most popular of hipster tattoos) anytime a character dies. In the fist meta-chapter, Vonnegut gives us a semi-or-maybe-totally-autobiographical account of how hard it was for him to finally write a book about Dresden, saying that writing an anti-war book is like writing an anti-glacier book. An uphill battle with little to no discernable results.

So when I read this as a teenager, I took it very literally. Billy Pilgrim was a time traveling victim of alien abduction who was put in a zoo on another planet, and wars would happen because wars would happen because wars would happen because people are awful and do awful things and everyone sucks, let's drink some vodka and listen to Dashboard Confessional (before they [him] were cool). So that's one way to look at it.

Ten years later, I don't agree with my original interpretation (not just of the book, but of anything in life because everyone is wrong about everything at 16). There are a bunch of holes in the abducted-by-aliens sub-plot, and many of the things that Billy experiences while time traveling/space traveling show up in Kilgore Trout's sci-fi books, a detail I didn't notice or care about the first time around. I now think that Billy became "unstuck" in time as a way of escaping the moments he spent in Germany and the memories thereof (so they are essentially hallucinations), and that the alien view of time (the aliens also being hallucinations) is an excuse Billy (and the rest of humanity) tells itself in order to feel ok about something like genocide.

Having read a lot of Vonnegut's other work, along with many of his interviews and letters, I still think he found war to be an inevitability because life is a bitch and people can be awful. But I don't think he was taking "so it goes" so far into fatalism as to be interpreted as a call to do nothing about it- it's an acknowledgment and maybe even a warning that your efforts may come to nothing. So yeah, the book is bleak and cynical and maybe opposing something like war is similar to opposing a glacier, but that's no reason why we shouldn't do it anyway. The opposing, I mean, not the warring.

Gotta love a man who makes his own GIFs.

Four stars out of your mom, both for nostalgia and for all the rest of it.