Dean Whitbread: Poetry

Tobacco and Shit

2008-06-24T08:28:00.003+01:00

Her elbows smell of tobacco
and her shit smells of burnt toast
She's dead, but in my dreams
she's warm and real, no ghost
She dresses up for going out,
and down for going in
And spits out all the little words:
"Alright?" "ok?" "how you been?"

She sits in sunlight shaving off
the hardest parts which grow
Removing and refining,
a buffer for the ego
Every day another
opportunity for sleep
Every night another dream,
Slept calmly, slept deep.

Black Cab Conversation

2004-10-11T10:45:00.000+01:00

He said
You got that broadband then
What's it like ?
I said
It's like the difference between pedals
And a motorbike
He said
I was going to try it free for sixty days
- NTL cable
But the wife wouldn't let me put no wires
Under the kitchen table
I said
You don't need wires these days
You can do it wireless
He said
Plug the computer into the radio ?
Blimey, what will they think of next
I laughed
Then spent 15 minutes explaining and extolling
Standards 802.11b & g
He said
You know who I had in this cab the other day ?
Tim Berners-Lee

DFRW 28th September 2004

The Move

2004-10-04T20:22:00.000+01:00

Removal men, in overalls
Wheeling cupboards, wardrobes,
Crates, boxes, teachests and the like
The green van, it's great white letters
Ten feet high and fifty wide
Standing patient, quiet,
In leafy and autumnal Lilac Drive.
A small bird twitters, darting in and out
The repeated territorial refrain
"Careful of my life" and "Put that there."
A steady plod of booted feet
The slow draining of an old bath
Water slipping through a mess of hair
Foam slowly melting, loud at last
Rooms bereft, hard, now echo emptily
Bangs sounding louder and more wooden
Even though (in sight at least)
They shift with tender care
Like vergers carry hymnbooks.
The future goes outwards, onwards
Restitution a promise, chains pulled
And tightened, airbrakes hiss
Ropes and pads won't slip
The driver knows the way, he does
A thousand miles a week
With just occasional delay.
Men and van are gone
Lilac Drive returns to scale
The final lock-up, secure yet
Not for you now, only
Empty bottles on the step,
One bare light bulb in the hall
And a cheery welcome note
To inhabitants unknown
Pinned to the kitchen wall
In the pale rectangle
Where the calendar once hung.

DFRW 4th October 2004

L'Infant

2004-10-03T18:21:00.000+01:00

Baby Dribbling Sibling
Nibbling Spitting Shitting
Gurgling Wailing Weeping
Sleeping Waking Sleeping
Waking Taking Taking
Taking Sleeping Waking
Baby Booby Baba
Mama Papa Mama
Suckling Sweety Duckling
Chuckling Cooing Pooing
Spewing Snotting Mewling
Mauling Standing Falling
Rolling Not Yet Crawling
Cuty Booty Bib
Nappy Crappy Happy
Babby Chubby Daddy
Mummy Tummy Yummy
Gummy Chummy Bummy
Runny Costing Lots of Money

DFRW 1st October 2004

How It Can Be

2004-09-29T01:25:00.000+01:00

He shows no sign of infirmity
His stick an umbrella
Furled neat, contained
His casual lean belies his need
To rest his knees, limbs
Withered by time but not disease

His nodding head affirms
Agrees with pause for thought
Wisdom bought by years
Serenity by tears
Teeth remaining all his own
His crowning glory shines
White and clean in morning light

Sleep at night easy as breath
Released, he still delights
In every taste
He rides a bike uphill
Shows off for fun sometimes
His skill to younger men,
Competing for their girls
Many battles won, but one
Yet undecided, his last
Determination simply
Not to be surprised

DFRW 5th April 2004

Cool Dude

2004-09-28T09:44:00.000+01:00

Another cool dude
Wears shades on the tube
Designer face impassive
He's the incognito massive

Crisp and casual
Cool and yet refined
He's not the sort of guy
To shout "REWIND!"

His eyes are two dark
Question marks
His poker-faced guess
Shop window dress

Top lip and chin
Cut sharp, a jewel
Neat razor trim
But he sees fuck all..

DFRW 13th May 2004

I'm A Nobody, Get Me Anywhere

2004-09-27T07:39:00.000+01:00

I just can't bear
To stick around here
Or I'm gonna suffocate
Suffer the 2nd rate
Cult of the TV
C-list celebrity
Stick on the box again
Red button vote to win

I wanna be there
I wanna be anywhere
Anywhere but here, coz
Here is just too near
This train terminates
Just round about here
So get me anywhere
Anywhere but here

I'm a nobody
Nobody knows me
Nobody cares now
So I wanna be there
Now I'm a no-one, a
Major non-entity
Please vote me out of here
Or I'm gonna disappear

I don't wanna be here
I wanna be everywhere
Everywhere but here, coz
Here is just too near
This brain terminates
Somewhere around here
Please get me out of here
Just get me anywhere

DFRW 17th February 2004

You Are Perfect

2004-09-26T22:25:00.000+01:00

In your own way
You're improving
Little by little
Each and every day
In a more than mundane way
Almost acceptable
Nearly admissable
Evidence of presence
Mind over matter

You are perfect
Finished and that's it
No more incomplete
Tidy and discrete
You are perfect
Patient, adaptable
Cool and collected
Stylish and sensual

In my own way
I'm degrading
A spectacular collapse
Suddenly one day
In a less than mundane way
Entirely rejected
Ruled out of court
Evidence of absense
No telekinesis

I am perfect
Only just starting
Everything must go
Upwards as I grow
I am perfect
Impatient, fixated
Uncool and distracted
Uptight and in a mess

DFRW 17th March 2004

Ice Cream

2004-09-26T21:50:00.000+01:00

ice cream

hot train

small spoon

slow swoon

DFRW 3rd March 2003

Stone

2004-09-26T21:42:00.000+01:00

No longer on sheets do I sleep
Nor the comfort of a soft bed
for my bones and head
My eyes shut then they open up
exhausted an hour before dawn
Missing you is lost in mist
Lover's caresses blurred into fist
Punch drunk, apallingly stoned
and pissed
broken, forsaken, haggard, forlorn.

DFRW 23rd February 2003

Drowning Man

2004-09-26T19:07:00.000+01:00

Diving, no breath taken
Dreaming, not to awaken
A bigger splash to soak
Like some kind of sick joke
The remains on flood plains
Drowned cities like clogged veins
Old ruins of past raving
Abuse, deceit, and misbehaving

So it was twist and bust
Sea-air cracked metal rust
And no real effort made
To stem the tide's tirade
The lack of trust, the curse
Jealousy made much worse,
His fear, the also ran;
The child, a drowning man.

DFRW 3rd September 2004

The Rivals

2004-09-26T18:53:00.000+01:00

Left breast versus right
Listen to their awful spite
One pushed up against the other
Double D's of cleavage mutter
One to heaven, one to hell
Not lying flat, a heavy swell
Both disputing who is best
The battle of a bulging chest
Like two fat puppies in a bag
Growling, snarling, biting, sag
Depend upon the same brassiere
Into which they disappear
Notwithstanding age and size
Or cellulite on flabby thighs
Or lardy arse that splits the knickers
They scorn and snap with snidy snickers
Both fighting for the right to burst
And save ten drowning men from thirst
The mummy and the baby tit
Loudly proclaim "Coke isn't it"

DFRW 14th June 2004

I Wish

2004-09-26T15:38:00.000+01:00

I wish you'd marry me
In a white lace gown
Wearing a crystal from Beirut
Pearls, and amber in silver
I'd wear a blue silk suit
Sing to you before and after
And the pledges would be easy
Our congregation high
We'd dance all night
Confuse and amuse our guests
With flirting
Catch the mountain train
At dawn
And fuck for peace at the
Summit
With the pink peaks crying
"More!"

I wish you'd boast of me
Your cool Englishman
The one worth making an exception for
Being true no barrier to
Liberation
Your imperfect, out-of-sorts
Perfection
Sex and love, devoted
Dedication
Giving challenge and support
Sensitivity and thought
Planning lessons, buying shoes
Co-ordinating orange, blues
Greens and greys,
Your moods and needs
Your hunger feeds

I wish you'd come with me
Come out, away
Let loose and play
Like children, willful
Innocent,
Lingering and lazy at
Places where the world
Is less confused and
People are less crazy
We'll swim and dive
Relax and float and
Smile, invite our friends,
Sleep all together in one
Big bed,
Read each other morning stories
Publish comedies and diaries
Cook exotic and delicious meals
Stretch and yawn and
Keep it real

DFRW 8th May 2004

Ready, Steady...

2004-09-26T10:16:00.000+01:00

Big fat lips
Soft wet drips
Limpid looks
TV cooks
Slice and butter
Braise and mutter
Slave and scrape
Jest, dessicate
Caress, thrill
Dress to kill
Express, emote
Drizzle, coat
Fry, bake
FInesse, fake
Garnish, grill
Griddle, fill
Flash, preen
Blend, tureen
Mix, stuff
Slice, puff
Seconds left
TV Chef

DFRW 24th May 2004

Memorial

2004-09-26T09:33:00.000+01:00

She lied and she lied
Till I begged her to stop
Then I cried and cried
Every last fucking drop

And the flowers I gave
Just wilted and faded
They were fresh from the grave
Of the truth she evaded

And my heart once so hot
Is now dead stone and cold
The kettle, the pot
Now cracked open and old

For she said she would not
But she still went and did
Til I joined up the dots
To reveal what she hid

Yet denial persists
Shame, dishonesty, pride
In the kisses she kissed
When she lied and she lied

DFRW 11th October 2004

On the Lunar Eclipse

2004-09-25T23:06:00.000+01:00

London is blood red
behind the clouds
The silent streets
echo loud
My hands clean
My vote Green

The Thames flows
regenerated
our ways and means
exonerated
We march, don't we ?
We'll win, won't we ?

Bought cheap
The price of peace
One million hearts
Two million feet
Back to our old lives
Scanning the night skies

DFRW 4th May 2004

Just Broke (4 Deaths)

2004-09-25T21:49:00.000+01:00

Nice bloke
Back of his throat
Just broke
Made him choke
Dreadful scene
Left his greens
Chips, bacon, beans
Aged 12, 14

Nice old git
Stuck around a bit
Sudden fit
That was it
Swallowed his tongue
Collapsed his lung
He wasn't young
Can't have been fun

Nice young man
Suntan
Chelsea fan
Transit van
Went back
Sudden crack
Caught him smack
IKEA flat-pack

Nice old dear
Tad queer
Front and rear
Dodgy beer
Overnight
Drowned in shite
Dog died of fright
Awful sight

DFRW 26th April 2004

Thank You

2004-09-25T21:26:00.000+01:00

I want to thank you
from the absolute depths of my heart
for being the one

To dismantle the lock and melt the key down to metal
To reduce the door to planks and smash the walls to bricks and rubble
To drop my phone into the bath making the numbers unreadable
To lose the map to the wind making the destination unreachable
To wash all my woollen clothes extra, extra hot
To put in with all my whites a pair of bright red socks
To announce your love over the Central Station P.A.
In such a way that nobody waiting there can make out a word you say

I caught the train
Wearing a tight jumper and a pink shirt
Recalling the route
Having previously committed all important telephone numbers to memory
No longer in need of my cell

Thank you from the very top of myself
For my glorious destruction.

DFRW 4th April 2004 (4/4/4)

Using and Losing

2004-09-25T20:27:00.000+01:00

her friends appeal
his passport feel
a three-blade shave
as sharp as steel
but she don't get
the etiquette
those fashion heels
her sex tourettes

this impulse buy
for cutie pie
heart pumping faint
now wave bye-bye
remove duvet
he will obey
stripped of the sky
too skint to pay

DFRW 11th October 2003

Miracle

2004-09-25T20:22:00.000+01:00

A miracle, I said
A small one but real
A triumph of the heart
The flowering of love
Never thought that this would be
After all you said
About independence, sex and
Politics in bed and I
Remain suspended by
Your astonishing decision
To give this piece of me a try

So how would it be ?
If not the last, then lasting
Not gluttony nor fasting
Play around, play a role
Get some nutrition for the soul
Some comfort, some reward
Just to make and keep a word
Since it can be so
And, yes, we do pass go and
Collect our simple sum
Of two from one plus one

DFRW 3rd April 2004

Low

2004-09-25T20:16:00.000+01:00

Flat walls reflecting in
A stone, a plastic arch
A base of grit and scale
No tide, no night and day
No sun or moon, no beach
Insignificant debris
In no grand scheme of things
Air rises and food falls
Emerging from beyond
A constant chugging pump

The very smallest grains
At the bottom of the tank
Where the goldfish nose
In their reflex search
Upending shit and gravel
Staving off their pangs
It's maybe just because
That is what you do
When scum is more inviting
Than predatory sky

Take in and spit out lumps
Devoid of all nutrition
Monotonous and safe
Same as last time round
Vague memory of food
A hand, a golden hour
Some other time and place
Risk rising up to catch
The momentary manna
In gulps of recklessness

DFRW 11th May 2004

Pigeon

2004-09-25T19:21:00.000+01:00

there's nothing i love more
than a bit of pre-digested
delicious pavement pizza
down beneath the double breasted
it sets me up for lunch
and a nice al fresco shag
followed by some KFC
and though i do not like to brag
i'm rather easy on the eye
in my sleek shiny purple vest
and it's no wonder that i strut
and smugly bob and puff my chest
coz all i do is shag and eat
and shit and eat and shag and boast
i'd be a piece of piss to slaughter
yet i'm unfit for your roast
so i proliferate and fornicate
and dine on puke and trash
it's bloody good, let me tell you
now it's dinner time - must dash

DFRW 13th May 2004

Change

2004-09-24T09:42:00.000+01:00

Seeds of change
Push new green shards
Through brittle earth

Simple small
A brave new start
Each little birth

DFRW 7th April 2004