Dear Bekka

Random Thought

2015-02-10T17:18:00.002-08:00

We all wanna be loved, we all want the attention and affection from the ones we love, but when it's not given we start to think to ourselves...am I not good enough? You can try and please the other person as much as you want but if they don't love you, they won't show what isn't there.

Cheating

2012-08-26T16:02:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been cheated on? What feelings were you going through when it happened?

I myself have been cheated on too many times. My ex fiance cheated on me with my "best friend" right next to me while I "slept." What I felt was anger, hatred, betrayal, and disrespected. We were together for four years and everything was fantastic...until the last 2 years. He was distant, always wanting to hang with the guys and not go home to sleep in our own bed, and wasn't interested in doing anything with me.

When we moved back down to Penndel to live with his mother that's when things quickly turned around. He told me he didn't like being home and he wanted to always drink beers with the guys like ALL the time. I simply wanted to feel like I was still number one and he put me at the bottom without a second thought. That is what really smacked me in the face..And THEN he out of the blue wanted a break! You know what I did?

I packed one outfit and shoved random stuff into my duffle bag and left for my mothers'. He told me I could stay there, but who wants to stay in a place surrounded by his family and constantly watching him leave? I know I didn't want that. Before I left I took my engagement ring off and gave it to him. I said "Give it back to me when you know what you want, because I am tired of telling you what I want."

He now loves to tell people I broke his heart, but fails to tell anyone his own faults..he ruined us, he pushed me away. Tell me who really broke who's heart?

What do you do when your significant other wants to...

2012-07-06T18:52:00.002-07:00

What do you do when your significant other wants to party and be with the "guys" or "girls"?

I am asking you guys this question. How or what are we supposed to feel when our partner doesn't want to spend time with you like you used to? Have you ever had someone tell you, "just to let you know if you marry me your marring my friends as well"? What would you say if you were in that situation?

I know that you can't always be happy in a relationship and you will fight one way or another, but what if it's often? Of course you don't want to just leave the one you love because you (I hope) want to work things out. Let's say it was just the two of you for awhile and then all of a sudden you are on the back burner, because they want to party and hang out with their friends. What about you? Weren't you there when no one else was? What do you do? If you don't want to give me your answer as to what you are going to do ask yourself...what would I do in these situations?

Christian School is Banning Homosexuality

2012-05-11T11:33:00.006-07:00

What will they banned next?

What is your full opinion on this matter? A Christian School is banning homosexuality between students and the staff. In my opinion everyone needs to remember the freedom of speech. Someone has brought something to my attention..if you know your son or daughter is gay or lesbian why would you put them in that type of schooling? My thing is if they are young then they don't have a clue as to what gay or lesbian means so why ban talking about homosexuality in school? What needs to happen is everyone needs to calm down about homosexuality and worry more about what's going on out on the streets. Woman getting raped, men getting stabbed, disease infested hookers on our street corners.

WHAT ABOUT THOSE ISSUES!

What did you get bored? You guys just all of a sudden decided you would throw a monkey wrench into the gears? This could also fit into my other discussion when I was saying why keep sex away from children..Encourage them to know about it because once they are able to be on their own they will experiment..wouldn't you feel better knowing you explained all you could about if they chose to have intercourse? I know I would feel more level headed. Explain homosexuality just like you would sex. You can NOT stop your children from loving who they want to love. This generation does not care about race, gender, or sexual preference. ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.

VISIT THIS PAGE FOR THE INFORMATION: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/23/rossville-christian-academy-homosexuality-ban-_n_1168113.html

Cyber Bullying

2012-04-15T14:52:00.002-07:00

Bullying moves to the internet

Growing up most of us have had issues with bullying causing us to hate school or any other social gathering. When your older and more confident in yourself you still remember those idiots who thought they were better then you. When in all reality they picked on you because they were having issues at home or they didn't feel confident in themselves. Now years have gone by and technology has improved which means teenagers have found a new way to bully.

Cyber bullying is a whole new level of downing someone or humiliating a kind soul. Bullying on the internet is set in stone. Once on the internet it does not go away it will follow you forever. Whatever you write on the internet everyone has access to that information. Even when you make your page "private" your friends can still see it and thus starts the grape vine effect. People use the internet to say what they want in a hurtful manner because, they don't have the decency or the gall to say it to the other person's face. Why bully someone because they're gay, heavy set, or different looking? We all bleed red! Your heart is on the right side FIND IT AND USE IT.

If we stopped bullying all together there would be less suicides and less ignorant,uneducated, and pathetic people in this world. Everyone has the right to be who they are and to look the way they want to look. Our creator made us all different for a reason. Could you imagine what the world would be like if we all looked alike or acted the same? It would be a less vibrant world.

No Obstacle Too Great

2012-03-27T17:22:00.003-07:00

A Thought On Depression

It seems like today the word depressed is thrown around a lot. Sure lots of people are depressed, get depressed and everyone goes through a period of depression inevitably at one time in their life. The dividing difference is to be sad is to be upset about something you will eventually get passed. To be depressed is to look at it all, good and bad and still find hopelessness. In example a teenager who is "depressed" because they don't have the clothes that are in fashion is just someone who is sad, upset at the cards they've been dealt in life. Someone who is truly depressed is someone who has the clothes but cant find a reason to where them. Remember the essence of life is struggle.

If everyone who faced hardship in life tucked their head between their knees and gave up on life there wouldn't be the great accomplishments that so many of us succeed in everyday. Keep your head up and remember pretty much any problem you face at least one person has faced before and take solace in the fact that they overcame it and you can too. Stick in there and keep your head held high.

The Dating Game

2012-03-26T14:31:00.005-07:00

Anonymous Says:

Hey Bekka, I'm in a relationship right now with someone who I thought was right for me. She's nice, smart, pretty, and has a good head on her shoulders. But I've found recently that we really have nothing in common. Also recently I've fallen head over heals for one of my best friends. My friend is also in a relationship in which they too have nothing in common. But I have no idea if she feels the same way I do about her. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here and I don't know what to do with myself. Anything you can help me out with would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Well Reader:

First of all I think you should share your feelings with your friend and that doesn't necessarily mean you have to act upon those feelings but, it's good to have all sides before making a decision. If you really have no feelings for the girl your with it's unfair to both you and her to carry on this ruse. If you want to step from this relationship your best bet is to just come out and tell her the truth. Just be honest and the path you are supposed to go will take you there on it's own. I hope that my advice has helped you determine your decision. Thank you for your post.

Hiked Up Shorts and Push-up Bras Who are They Really for?

2012-03-25T21:48:00.004-07:00

Women and Their ways of Beautifying..

Men hate when they have to wait for us women to get ready to go out. What they don't know is that woman actually doll their selves up to top the other females that will be around. Push-up bras yeah sure they make your boobs look great but, when you go through high-school and continuously get bullied for being "flat chested" you tend you do all you can to make sure those chicks know you have breasts...it shouldn't matter what those woman think but it does.

When we get a whole new out-fit it's to feel good about yourself right? Hoping you'll make your man's head spin. When again it is to make you stick out like a sore thumb. You may not think that's what you are doing but believe me that is exactly what you are doing. One day just wear pj's be comfortable in your own skin. Who cares if there is an attractive female close by your just as beautiful as she is if not more.

Remember beauty is only skin deep. It's what's on the inside that counts. Next time when your getting ready for your day don't cake on the make-up and hike up your shorts be natural. Believe it or not men love natural beauty more than caked on beauty.

Baby has to get 80% of his Skin Removed!

2012-03-17T19:08:00.003-07:00

I know that this is a random post but, I saw this on my facebook and felt that I needed to put this on here.

Click link below to read more:

Baby almost dies after being scalded by drop of hot tea

Find Me on Facebook!

2012-03-12T20:19:00.003-07:00

Want to stay up to date with Dear Bekka? Find me on facebook! Just simply click the link below.

Dear Bekka

Teen Pregnancy: Trends And Lessons Learned

2012-03-12T16:04:00.002-07:00

The U.S. teen birthrate is one of the highest in the developed world.
Want to read more?

CLICK THIS LINK:
Teen Pregnancy: Trends And Lessons Learned

Why not Uncover what We need to Know?

2012-03-06T22:42:00.001-08:00

When I was growing up..

I remember the grown-ups would hide everything "negative" from us children. Well why not uncover what we need to know? The point that I am trying to arrive at is; if you are a parent, keeping certain things a secret is a positive action to act upon where as on the other hand if you leave out the important topics I guarantee the out come won't be what you were expecting. Our generation needs to be more aware of certain situations such as sex because, well I know in my case I was a very young girl when I learned about sex and sexual diseases. With that being said I think that my parents were the reason why I waited until I was 18 to encounter any type of sexual involvement. I personally think it is best to be the one who speaks to your child about sex instead of their friends or sex-ed. Not only do girls need to know when is the proper time to conceive a child, they also need to know about birth control and condoms.

I myself am not a parent so I can't speak for how they feel about speaking to their child about sex but, what I can do is tell you is; if you don't tell them everything then there is a good chance that they will find it out on their own and you will have to deal with it then. I will end this post with this; if your uncomfortable with talking about sex with your child you should always remember that you are the one they will be coming to for answers their entire life.

Love Doesn't Care...

2012-03-04T16:36:00.002-08:00

About what color or what gender you are it simply just wants to be needed.

If you are not the one who is in love with the same sex then to be honest your opinion shouldn't matter. I support gay marriage 100%. What I am trying to say is; if your not gay then why do you get to vote on legalizing gay marriage? This is not the old days this is 2012 for goodness sake. If I am able to walk down the aisle to the man I love, why can't gay or lesbian men and women? Oh wait it's because your afraid that you'll feel uncomfortable? Get over yourselves! It's not your life so don't try to run it. We understand that you are bored and need a hobby but, this all reminds me of bullies in high school. You don't like it so you choose to pick on the outcasts. Just accept it because gay relationships aren't going away.

Not fun Just Listening to my Advice

2012-02-22T19:54:00.001-08:00

I am gonna switch things up a bit.

If you, the reader,has something to say on how to help these anonymous people change their lives.

Then you need to voice your opinions.

I want to know what you think about these situations.
Also I know a lot of you have a bit of a hard time with sending me your anonymous posts.

*USE THE COMMENT BOX*

You can only Depend on Yourself to get out of a Rut

2012-02-18T23:56:00.000-08:00

What about You?

You feel like you’re always doing for others and yet no one ever thinks about doing for you. The old saying is "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours", has vanished throughout the years and you can't take one more person stepping all over you. Then stand up for what you want and need. If people throw the guilt trip card then just rip it up and walk away. Life is stressful enough as it is.

Fill your life with positive not negative. You can't give handouts to everyone you know because, in the end you will always end up at the bottom of the barrel. Helping others is great and can be spiritually fulfilling but, if you keep giving until there's nothing left to give then you yourself will be another person in need of help.

Most times you can only depend on yourself to get out of a rut. Almost everyone is out there for themselves. What happened to "love thy neighbor?" Sharing is caring we all know that but, do we actually act upon it? Some...yes. How many and how often? Even some family members can tend to turn their noses up at you. It always seems to feel like whenever you’re in need of helping hands there isn't any but, when THEY need all hands are on deck!

Now, I may sound like I am saying screw everyone you know but, what I am trying to tell you is don't be gullible or a push over. You don't know who will turn their back on you but, you can't turn your back on yourself.

A Weighty Issue

2012-02-17T22:28:00.001-08:00

Struggling with Yourself

There are people out there who have eating disorders. Some people eat too much, some people eat too little. Both being overweight and underweight are life threatening. Over eating can lead to diabetes, and under-eating can cause your body to consume all of your body's fat and eventually it will slowly eat away at your muscle.

In this post I will be talking about underweight eaters.
I am one of those victims. I had an issue with eating only on rare occasions or would just forget when to eat. My illness was anorexia. I would go days without eating because I was either in the middle of doing house work and would not take a break to eat, or my appetite was completely absent.

Most often those afflicted with under-eating or binge and purge disorders have an unrealistic view of their body. They see a large person even when they are perfectly healthy or dangerously underweight. There for helping them is usually out of grasp. The best thing you can do for them is to encourage a good appetite and positive self-image. While they recover through medical and psychiatric means.

If you know somebody or are somebody that has this horrible disorder, I know that it can be very difficult to admit that you have a problem. The safe and healthy thing to do is seek help.

To seek the help that you deserve click this link: http://www.buffalocentre.com
Good luck on your journey to a new and healthier you.

When the Cats Away the Mouse will Play

2012-02-16T16:25:00.001-08:00

Going into a new relationship is fun and new.

Feeling like someone cares for you is more than just exhilarating. What about when those feelings start to dwindle? Straying away from your significant other is like taking a knife and stabbing them in the heart. If for any reason you feel as though you aren't as happy as you were in the beginning tell your partner.

It is better to leave then to lie and have to cover up your wrongful decision. Not only are you making a bad decision you are hurting the one that loves you. Karma really does exist. Instead of running to another just talk to your partner about what is bothering you. Communication is the key to every relationship.

Of course no relationship is perfect; if they were I wouldn't have this blog but, talking about your issues and trying to solve them is way better then running in the opposite direction. Work it out now. Don’t wait and keep it a secret.

Knowing that you have tried all you can is better than not trying at all.

Piece of Advice for the Common Person

2012-02-16T12:04:00.001-08:00

Strengthening Relationships

Passed the age of 9 life becomes difficult, as humans we are the most complex social creatures. Being too nice can lead people to believe that you are fake or fickle; being too conflicting can make you seem rude. It’s best to just be honest and genuine to everyone you meet friend, family, or stranger. Doing so will lead you to be respected, loved and ultimately accepted by anyone who is worth your time strengthening your relationships on a deeper level with all those around you.

Unnecessary Flirting

2012-02-15T12:15:00.001-08:00

Anonymous Says:
Bekka, I need some advice. My mom has this new boyfriend, and I do not get along with him. He's always in our business and I feel that he flirts with me while my mom isn't looking. I have tried to tell my mom about this situation but, she thinks I am lying. What can I do to make her see the truth?

Well Reader:
I know that it can be rough to see your mom have a new man in her life. I can relate to that. Also, at the same time, your mother’s boyfriend flirting with you is absolutely crossing the line. In my opinion I would call him out.
While in front of your mom tell her boyfriend the things that make you feel uncomfortable needs to stop. Voice your opinion loudly whenever one of those situations occurs. It's not right and you shouldn't stand for it.

What did You Do for Your Sweetheart?

2012-02-14T18:26:00.001-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

Tell me what you did for your significant other, or family member. Did you go out to lunch or make a card with a heart shaped box full of candy? Or maybe you guys just snuggled up to a nice romantic movie and enjoy each other's company.

Today my Fiance Sam handed me a card he made me and bought me a box with chocolate coconut shaped hearts inside. It was the sweetest surprise. Sam and I also went out with his grandmother to lunch. I love spending time with his family. I have already accepted them as apart of my family 2 years ago. Sam and I have been together 3. I couldn't picture myself being anywhere else but, right here with my family and the man that I plain on spending the rest of my life with.

So, tell me what did you do for your true love?

Bitter Sweet

2012-02-13T19:44:00.001-08:00

Anonymous Says:
Dear Bekka,
My grandmother has just passed away and in her will she has arranged that all of her money go towards charity. But, the family wants to split it amongst each other. I would like to honor her wishes but, at the same time I would like some extra cash in my pocket...what do you think?

Well Reader,
Since your grandmother had her heart set on giving her hard earned money to a charity, I think it should be honored. While everybody would like some extra cash in their pockets, you should think about how she would feel if you were to do that, and honor her wishes. Also, to add to this you are not allowed to change the will after the family member has already deceased. Your grandmother would only be capable of doing that.

Torn Between A and B

2012-02-13T14:28:00.001-08:00

Anonymous Says:

Dear Bekka,

After recently breaking up with the father of my baby, I found two really great guys. One of them is from my past and one is brand new. I'm torn between the two of them, ( we’ll call them A and B ) Currently I am with A.

He's a super sweet, amazing guy and he's got his head in just the right place.

He has a great job, and definitely a promising future but, he’s not my type and I’m worried that I won't be able to fall in love with him.

B has been in and out of my life for the past 4 years. He’s exactly my type and he loves me and my son to death. The downfall is, He is a party animal, ( says he will change, just needs a reason to change, meaning me and my son) he has a part time job and no license or car. But I like him a lot, possibly even more than A. How do I figure things out, Please Help!

Well Reader:

The heart wants what the heart wants even though "A" is a better provider if you can't see a future with him there is no point in trying. On the other hand if "B" doesn't straighten himself out, there is no point in fighting a losing battle.

You will have to cut ties. Remember there are many fish in the sea.

Your future may not have yet revealed itself don't settle for less. Even though a man says "I need a reason to change," doesn't always mean they will. Protect your heart and your son. Also, I would like to say why did it not work out with "B" all those other times? Exes are exes for a reason. Don't start a vicious cycle that you can't run from.

Size Doesn't Matter

2012-02-13T12:36:00.001-08:00

Anonymous Says:
Dear Bekka, I have been dating my girlfriend for awhile now and I think it's
about time I proposed. The only problem is I don't make a lot of money
and I am afraid that the ring I buy her won't measure up to her girlfriends rings
what should I do?

Well Reader,
What you need to do is buy the ring that you can afford and if she really
loves you the size won't matter. What should matter is that you are willing
to take the next step. Being committed to one person is a huge decision
and that's what an engagement ring resembles.

You Never Know I Could Be Your Boss One Day

2012-02-13T10:16:00.001-08:00

Have You Ever Had a Situation Such As This?

I was just sitting around the other day and remembered a time
when Sam and I were at a friends house party. It was an awesome night but, there was one comment that still irks the hell out of me. I was going around talking to all of the girls and telling them how I liked their outfits no big deal right? Well I get to one chick and she tells me that I am one of the prettiest girls at the party but, then follows it up with a "The only thing is you dress differently"... I what?Of course I do you want to know why?

Because, you are you and I am not. Dressing differently just says you want to stand out in the crowd and not be a follower. Excuse me when I say this but, since when is it an odd thing to see a girl covering her goods? Every girl, besides a couple, had their privates airing out. Don't they know that men actually prefer a little mystery?

I think that judging someone for their clothing is ridiculous. Except for the guys that wear their pants way pass their butt.We don't want to see what kind of boxers you are wearing nor do we want to see your butt. So I will end this by saying, Catty girls KEEP YOUR RUDE COMMENTS TO YOURSELF! You never know I could be your boss one day :D

Would You Help Someone You Don't Know?

2012-02-12T18:16:00.001-08:00

Let's Help Save This Mother's Life:

ATTENTION: if anyone is O negative and would be kind enough to donate their kidney to me or if you don’t know what blood type you are please call Jeanine Vallen she is a nurse at Lourdes that deals with potential donors at 856-757-3209 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 856-757-3209 end_of_the_skype_highlighting and say that you would like to be tested for me to see if you are a match...please find it in your hearts to do this for me.... i have an 8 month old son who I love very much and I want to watch him grow up into a very handsome man one day.... please I cannot leave my fiancé and son on this planet alone they need me and so does my family.... just writing this brought tears to my eyes... please help save my life..

Will you be that person?

My Fiancé and I are willing how about you?