Society excuses the actions of men. We accept that men are “DOGS” and cannot control themselves.

EDITORIAL - That is a crock… lol and a ridiculous allowance that has left us with communities of broken homes and children who never know their parents.

OK - Off of the pulpit.

We never analyze why women decide to step outside of their relationships. It must be emotional because women are way too sensitive for it to be any other reason… right?

Chelsie Kaplan of MSN conducted a survey and ask REAL women why they cheat.

Reason #1: There’s no passion

“I had been with John for about three years—he was a really nice guy, and I enjoyed being with him, but there wasn’t a ton of passion. Most everyone we knew had gotten engaged, and though John would have proposed in a second, whenever he brought it up, I’d change the subject. I took a trip to Australia for work, and while I was gone, I got together with a co-worker to whom I’d always been insanely attracted. I had a fantastic trip, probably because for the first time in a long time I experienced that excitement I’d been missing. I broke up with John soon after I returned home, and began dating the guy from the trip. Even though I’m not super-proud of my actions, things ended up for the best: After dating for a few years, the guy from the trip and I got married, and we’re incredibly happy together.”
– Giselle, 30, Montvale, NJ

Reason #2: To delay a breakup
“Right before I was going to break up with my ex, Sean, he found out that he had to put his beloved dog to sleep. He was so broken up about it that I didn’t have the heart to end things, so I waited a month or so until he was in better shape. When things seemed to be better and I was ready, he lost his job, so I felt like I was back to square one! By that time, I had met someone else that I really wanted to start seeing, so I went ahead and did it. I eventually ended things, never telling Sean about my extra-curricular dating. I think I rationalized that I was trying to spare his feelings.”
– Stacy, 30, Lexington, KY

Reason #3: Because absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder
“My boyfriend Greg and I decided to do the long-distance thing after I was accepted to a graduate program 200 miles from where we lived. The first few months were fine, but I soon found myself becoming extremely attracted to my lab partner, Henry. What began as innocent flirting eventually wound up with us in bed. After the program was over, I returned home to Greg. Being with him was really difficult, but I didn’t break up with him initially because I was still attracted to him, too. I visited Henry a few times, and realized that he was really more of a fling, probably born out of boredom, and that Greg was the one for me. I eventually stopped communicating with Henry. I never told Greg about what happened, which occasionally makes me feel guilty, but I chalk my cheating up to being young and silly. He and I are still together, four years since my program ended.”
– Tamara, 33, Portland, OR

Reason #4: So she’s not left out in the cold
“I began dating Eric shortly after I had been dumped by Dave, my boyfriend of two years. I was devastated and Eric was definitely a rebound thing. After Eric and I had dated for five months, Dave came back and wanted to give things another shot. I still really missed him, so I began seeing him, but never ended things with Eric. I think I sort of kept Eric around for insurance purposes, just in case things didn’t end up well with Dave. Dave and I didn’t make it on round two, and after Eric discovered through mutual friends that I had been seeing him again, he ended things with me. I definitely learned my lesson about dating two guys at the same time, not to mention trying to rekindle a relationship that’s just plain over.”
– Jen, 28, Oak Park, IL

Reason #5: She deserves better
“When I was younger, I dated a guy named Ethan who was really critical of me. He constantly made little snide comments about my weight, how stupid I was and how clumsy I was. For whatever odd reason, I was into him, despite the fact that all of my friends and family hated him. One weekend when he was away, I met Will at a party and we completely hit it off. He was the complete opposite of Ethan—kind, sweet and generous, yet completely cool and fun, too. We hung out all weekend and it was like a light bulb went off in my head: This is how mature, relationship-worthy guys act. I hooked up with Will the night before he left, and broke up with Ethan soon after. Will and I dated for three years and now we’re married.”
– Allison, 30, New York, NY

Reason #6: She’s looking for a missing piece
“I’m from Florida, so I adore going to the beach and boating, but my former boyfriend, Chris, a total city boy, hated it. We always argued about where we’d take trips, and he always won. About eight months into our dating, I took a trip to Key West with my friends and we chartered a boat for the day. The captain of the boat was this totally hot, complete ‘beach guy for life’ type, and I spent the whole day flirting with him. We met him out that night, and he and I got together. I never told Chris about it after I got home and I never felt guilty; I think part of me felt like that’s what Chris got for being so stubborn! Chris and I didn’t make it, and after we broke up, I made sure any future boyfriends loved the beach!”
– Lizzie, 32, Chicago, IL

Reason #7: To give him a taste of his own medicine
“My last boyfriend was a total player before we got together. I thought I could change him, but I was wrong. I always heard rumors that he was hooking up with other girls while we were dating, but he always denied it. One night, I got a call from a girl he had been seeing, and she detailed their three-month-long relationship to me and told me about another girl she had discovered he was seeing as well. I was so mad that I went out with my friends that night, dressed to kill, and went home with the hottest guy I could find; I felt like it was the least he deserved! I loved seeing the look on his face when I told him about what I did and that I knew about the other girls. And then I dumped him!”
– Ashante, 25, College Park, GA

Reason #8: There’s something lacking in the physical department
“My ex was a terrible kisser—the worst! I really liked everything else about him, but whenever it came time to get physical, I just cringed. One night when I was at a party without him, a bunch of people started this old-school, yet fairly intense game of spin the bottle, and I felt like I had to join, as I hadn’t had a decent kiss in a long time! I probably kissed about 10 guys that night, all of whom were so much better than my ex. I ended things pretty quickly after that experience, which made me realize that the physical part of a relationship is truly important.”
– Marnie, 26, San Francisco, CA

What’s your story? If you have ever cheated on your mate… why the heck did you do it?

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™

By: Single Diva

I’m sure that all of you single ladies out there can relate to this next statement…..It’s pure insanity out there in the dating world!

During a recent night out I was hit on by a 25 year old (yes, that part is a bit flattering) who lives with his girlfriend (not so flattered anymore). I decided that it was time for a break. I’d had it. In the last 6 months I’ve encountered the following situations: several married men who wanted to take me out, went out with a guy who unbeknownst to me was in the process of getting a divorce from someone I knew, a variety of men several decades older than me, one guy who screamed at me after only a few hours of knowing me causing me to run to my car while wearing high heels, one blind date gone horribly wrong (my friends are still laughing about that one), and several men who are just looking for one particular thing and no, it’s not my friendship.

All of this caused me to declare a temporary man diet. Just take a break from it all for a bit. Focus on my friends, family, work etc. Sounds good in theory, right? Then there was that one phone call from my mother. She caught me when I was bored and distracted and I agreed to another blind date.

This is not all nearly as bad as it sounds. I’ve always been up for things like this in the past. However, when I told my cousin about the situation and that it was the son of one of my mother’s friends I was agreeing to go out with she wanted to know if I was legally insane. I figured why not though. I’d done something like this before and it worked out.Well, at least until his ex-girlfriend showed up and wanted to reconcile but whatever.

So, I agreed and my phone number was handed over. Then began the week of wondering. Will he even call? Will we have a good phone conversation? Will we have similar interests? Will there be a spark? Will Carly marry Jax? Oh wait, that’s General Hospital, sorry.

As the week progressed, I kind of forgot about the possibility that I would be getting a call from Blind Date Man (as he was nicknamed). I do tend to have a short attention span. Friends would ask me about it and remind me that I had to obsess over what to wear to the unknown date with the unknown person. I kind of figured that whatever I wore was new to him so I’d worry about it after he made the initial call.

Then the call came….and I missed it. Figures. So, the next day before I got the chance to return the call, I received a very nice text message. I answered and called him back as well. Had a great phone conversation. He was very chatty so I really didn’t need to say much. Kind of a nice change. We made plans for dinner a couple of nights later and chose 32 East as our location.

Then the panic set in. What in the world did I agree to? Oh well, it would only be a few hours out of my life and if it didn’t go well, 32 East is one of my favorite restaurants so nothing lost.

Then the night of the date came. I waited and wondered what the evening would hold for me. I did end up obsessing about what to wear and have to say that I did look illegally cute that night. We went to dinner, talked a lot, had great food and a generally good time.

There was a small issue with climbing in and out of his truck as it is jacked up so high the door handle was over my head. There just was no lady like way to get in and out of that truck. While no connection was really felt between either of us we both had fun. The evening was very nice and definitely not a loss. Now the moms know and there won’t be anymore “what if” conversations between them.

This whole experience reinforced the idea that you have to be willing to take chances because you just never know what one situation, person, place might lead you to.

This blind date may not have turned into a great love affair but the next one might. Everyone has a story to tell and if you listen closely (or at all) you might learn something. I did learn that apparently I’m not very good at the man diet. Oh well, I never was at depriving myself. Life is just too short for that.

So, the next time your family or friends offer you the chance at the blind date or the chance meeting, take it. Think of it as the ice cream of the dating world. You know that you probably shouldn’t take it and that there’s a chance it might stick but you are still craving it. Besides, you never know how much fun breaking your diet can be until you try it.

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™

Bring something new to the table! White wine and dried basil bring a distinctly Sicilian taste to these luscious yet low-fat tuna steaks.

START TO FINISH: 45 minutes MAKES: 4 servings
1 pound fresh or frozen tuna steaks, 1 inch thick
1 small onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced (1 teaspoon minced)
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
2 pounds roma tomatoes, seeded and chopped
1/2 cup dry white wine
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1/4 cup pitted ripe olives
2 tablespoons capers, rinsed and drained
2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil or 2 teaspoons dried basil, crushed
1 tablespoon chopped fresh mint or 1 teaspoon dried mint, crushed
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon lemon juice

1. Thaw tuna, if frozen. Cut tuna into 4 portions, if necessary. Rinse tuna; pat dry with paper towels. Set aside.
2. In a large skillet, cook onion and garlic in hot oil over medium heat until onion is tender. Add tomatoes, wine, and crushed red pepper. Bring to boil; reduce heat. Simmer, uncovered, for 7 minutes. Add olives, capers, and dried basil and mint, if using; cook for 3 minutes more.
3. Sprinkle tuna with kosher salt and black pepper. Add tuna to skillet on top of tomato mixture. Cover and cook over medium heat for 5 minutes. Uncover and cook for 10 to 15 minutes more or until tuna flakes easily when tested with a fork and is slightly pink in the center.
4. Transfer tuna pieces to 4 serving plates. Spoon tomato mixture over tuna. Sprinkle with fresh basil and mint, if using. Drizzle with lemon juice.

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™

Reason’s it’s good to be single during the holidays

Here we are entering the holiday season again.

Didn’t we just finish with this? It starts with Thanksgiving and just snowballs one holiday after another until we are clear into Valentine’s Day. For me, I get to add my birthday as the first holiday to kick it off since it’s right before Thanksgiving.

For all of us single ladies though, it’s really December that reminds us that we are just that….single. We get the endless string of pity invites to parties, the random introductions to the other single friend that the host just happens to have invited, and the lectures about how one day our prince charming will come riding in on his white horse and rescue us from our singledom.

What all of our married friends apparently didn’t hear is that Prince Charming had a thing going with Snow White and now Cinderella not only now owns the kingdom but 50% of Charming’s income for the next couple of decades. The dwarfs are not happy about this at all. I’m here to set the records straight and point out the reason’s that it’s actually a good thing to be single during the holidays as opposed to being part of a couple.

I’ll start with the obvious reasons first.

There is the financial issue. Face it, if you were in a relationship, you would most likely be spending more on his gift than you would on just about anyone else’s. It’s just what we do. When you are in a relationship, your boyfriend is an incredibly important part of your life and you want to do something special for him…that ends up costing.

No matter how many pre-shopping vows we make to “not go overboard”, we still do. We are women, it happens. So, without that boyfriend in your life, you are free to spend that money on say that Louis Vuitton that you’ve been eyeing. The smokin hot outfit at the mall could be all yours. No need to feel guilty either because after all, you are single, you are out there and you want to look your best. Enjoy it. A day at the spa might even be in order.

Consider it your boyfriend gift to yourself.

That takes me to my next reason…Fashion.

If you are in a relationship you are most likely invited to things such as company parties, the family boat party where you know nobody is going to be at but you have to go to, the boring friend’s party, etc. It’s the same group of family and friends no matter where you go.

This requires a new outfit for each event. You are not going to risk getting the disapproving up down look from any other female guests. Well guess what? You are single! You are going to a whole different set of parties.

This means a totally new set of people at every party which means you could just get a couple of incredibly smokin hot outfits and rotate them. This saves you money which actually could take you back to the Louis Vuitton that we previously discussed if you really think about it. Plus, each party has a new circle of people, and you are single. You can mix and mingle until you just can’t take it anymore because you are not tied to one person’s side.

This can be fun.

There is comfort knowing someone has your back at a party but there is also freedom in not being part of a couple. Walk in with your head held high and scope out the scene. See that hottie over there by the steak tar tar? Go talk to him! You have the freedom to do this so take advantage of it.

Plus, you also have the freedom to surprise the hottie with a kiss under the mistletoe if you like. Just make sure he’s also there alone before you do this. If the party doesn’t work out, pull out outfit number 2 tomorrow night and see what’s roaming around at that party. You’ve got nothing to loose and won’t be hurting anyone’s feelings in your mingling efforts.

Another advantage to being single during the holidays has to do with the getting ready location. Let me explain: So many times, when you are in a relationship and you have an event to go to let’s say after work, you end up both getting ready at whomever’s house is closer.

This can mean closer to your job, closer to the event location, whatever. Ladies, how many times have you stuffed everything you can possibly think that you are going to need in a duffle bag the night before and prayed that nothing melted in the car while you were at work, got wrinkled or worse…that you forgot something.

You sit there all day running a list through your mind….shampoo and conditioner? Check. Hairspray? Check. Make-up? Check. Dress? Check. Heels? Check. Cute little purse to match? Maybe check? Oh, I hope it’s a check. What will I do if it’s not a check? Sound familiar?

When you are single, you actually get to get ready for a party in your own home! I know! Imagine that. No packing, no freaking out about possible forgotten items, and if you change your mind on what you want to wear it’s ok because it’s your house. Your clothes are all there. Take a minute to imagine what it’s like to not live out of a bag every time you go somewhere.

Ok, back with me?

Good. One more thing that being single affords you is the luxury to choose where you want to go on the actual holidays. Well, you still have to deal with where your family wants you to go but you don’t have to rush between your family and friends and his.

It’s all you. You want to spend the entire day at your parents’ house? You can. Maybe you had some friends invite you to stop by. Go for it. Who is going to argue? Ok, so your mother might but that’s going to happen whether you are in a relationship or not.

Point is, you have the freedom to decide for yourself where and when you want to go somewhere. One single friend told me that this is the best part about being single all year long. He’s a bit cynical since his last relationship ended in flames so I try not to take his words to heart. I’m afraid it might rub off. He is right though that during the holidays the freedom to choose is a good feeling.

So fellow single ladies, as you navigate yourself through the holiday season, hold your head high, put on your favorite little black dress (or 2 or 3), and raise your martini glass to each other as you pass at the parties. We are the lucky ones. We can do what we want, go where we want and buy ourselves those fabulous gifts that you just wouldn’t have the funds for if you were in a relationship.

Tell yourself Happy Holidays and toast to each other. We are single, we are fabulous, and we are out of here because there just isn’t anyone that has caught our eye at this party.

I think I still have that other invite in the car. You know the one….the one you said “maybe” to. See, we get to keep our options open. Happy Single Holidays!!

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™

As the holiday season rolls in, so does many of our favorite childhood dishes, cocktails and empty calories. Keep in Shape and Stay Fabulous with LP Health and Fitness Tips

Check out this awesome recipe below:

Sonoma Recipe: Salad Niçoise With Tuna: LP Health and Fitness

Imagine you’re lunching in Nice as you enjoy this delicious tuna salad! Anchovies are optional!
START TO FINISH: 35 minutes MAKES: 4 servings

4 ounces fresh green beans
5 cups packaged European-style torn mixed salad greens
1 6-ounce can chunk white tuna (packed in water), drained and broken into chunks
4 medium tomatoes, quartered
2 hard-cooked eggs, peeled and quartered
1/2 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
3 green onions, cut into 1/2-inch slices
4 anchovy fillets, drained, rinsed, and patted dry (optional)
3/4 cup pitted ripe olives
1 recipe Niçoise Dressing

1. Wash green beans; remove ends and strings. Leave beans whole or snap in half. In a covered medium saucepan, cook green beans in a small amount of boiling, lightly salted water about 5 minutes or just until tender. Drain and place in ice water until chilled; drain well. If desired, cover and chill for 2 to 24 hours.

2. Place salad greens on a large platter or 4 serving plates. Arrange green beans, tuna, tomatoes, and eggs on the greens. Sprinkle with parsley and green onions. If desired, top with anchovy fillets.
Top with olives. Drizzle Niçoise Dressing over all.

Niçoise Dressing: In a small bowl combine 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, 1 tablespoon white wine vinegar, 1/2 teaspoon Dijon-style mustard, 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt, and 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper. Whisk together until combined.

Nutrition Facts per serving: 260 cal., 17 g total fat (3 g sat. fat), 124 mg chol., 570 mg sodium, 12 g carbo., 5 g fiber, 16 g pro.

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™

By: SingleDiva

Has modern day technology made dating more complicated and impersonal? I’m starting to think that it has. In this age of instant communication a whole new set of problems and issues come up. Most of us have access to cell phones, fax machines, multiple email addresses on a daily basis. Gone are the old dating rules and in are the new ones.

For example, no longer can you give a man a fake phone number. Women used to use this technique to make a man go away when she really wasn’t interested in him. He would be satisfied that he got somewhere with you and move on leaving you and your friends to enjoy the rest of the night.

Now, when you give a man your phone number he instantly takes out his cell and puts it in. Then the new technique is to instantly call the number to see if your cell rings. Some will come right out and say that they are checking to see that it’s a real number but most say it’s so that you now have their number. This whole situation can be a bit embarrassing if you gave a fake number.

Another issue is the old excuse of “I just didn’t have time to call you”.

Please. There’s no way anyone can believe that in this day and age. Yes, we are all extremely busy. However, how many times have you walked down Atlantic Avenue and all you see sitting at the sidewalk tables are people on their cells or sending messages from their phones?

We are a society addicted to instant communication, hence the term, “Crackberry.” If you have time to drive from one place to another, you have time to make a quick call to let someone know you are interested.

If for some reason that doesn’t work out for you, there is always the ever popular text message or email. In fact, text messaging has become so popular that I recently learned it is the new way to end a relationship too.

We won’t get into my thoughts on that one though!! What it comes down to is if someone’s not getting in touch with you one way or another, it’s because they just don’t want to, not because they are too busy.

Online dating has also created its own problems. If you look at the profiles of online daters, they pretty much answer all of the “getting to know you” questions. Doesn’t leave much for the first few conversations, however, it does get right to the point.

You can see right on the spot if the person has the qualities that you are looking for. This is good because again, we are busy and don’t like to waste time. Only problem is that it’s all email which can be a little impersonal. Most online daters are reluctant to give their phone number to someone they meet online because after all, you don’t have a clue what you are dealing with. What if the person is a serial killer or something?

I even once was told by a male friend that he would never ask for the phone number of someone who had a profile online because if she’s on there she must have issues or be desperate. He told me this after he had found a girl online that he thought was attractive. The way he found her was that she came up as a good match by the site when he was checking his own online profile. Exactly!

I’m still trying to understand that one but things such as that are said all the time now by many men and women, again, a result of modern technology.

Here’s what I suggest to both men and women.

Ladies, if you are not hearing from that hottie that asked for your number within a reasonable amount of time (and this varies for everyone), let it go. Go back to City Limits and see what you meet this time. If he wanted to talk to you again, he would have found 30 seconds at some point to get in touch with you.

Gentlemen, if you are addicted to your “Crackberry”, PDA, cell phone, etc. put it down for a minute and go talk to the smokin’ hot babe across the bar. Trust me on this one, no stupid lines, no exchange of email addresses, just actual conversation. Just try the old fashioned approach and talk to her. I had a guy use this approach last Friday night at the Hard Rock and it worked.

I’ll be seeing him for drinks tomorrow night. Wonder if he’s in my network or if I can put him on my buddy list.

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™

Join us in welcoming our newest contributor A. Elaine Moodie, Registered Financial Consultant (RFC).

Elaine is registered with The International Association of Registered Financial Consultants (IARFC) and a dedicated financial professional who helps people do a better job of spending, saving, investing, and planning.

Need assistance with a financial topic or situation send your questions or comments to Elaine@livingplush.com.

Elaine’s first message to our sleek, sassy and sophisticated clients and audience follows:
RFC Code of Ethics
I will at all times put Living Plush client’s interest above my own.
I will maintain proficiency in my work through continuing education.
When fee-based services are involved, I will charge a fair and reasonable fee based on the time and skill required.
I will abide by both the spirit and the letter of the laws and regulations applicable to financial planning services.
I will give my client the same service that I would give to myself in the same circumstances.
Yours Sincerely

A. Elaine Moodie, RFC
Elaine@livingplush.com
Buy Stocks for $4 at ShareBuilder.

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™

By: SingleDiva

How many times have you heard someone say that they don’t play games when it comes to dating? Or, that playing dating games is immature and should be left in high school? They are right but at the same time, they are wrong. After all, if you date, you play games. The entire concept of dating is a sport. It’s an especially unique sport if you live in South Florida. Think of any sport out there, and the first things that come to mind are: where the team is from, what is their mascot, what do the uniforms look like, what is their record, etc. Just like dating.

Obviously, the teams in dating are men and women. In South Florida, the issue of where the team is from becomes especially important and hard to navigate. The home team is usually easy to spot. You recognize the uniform and most of the time, the face. After all, if you grew up down here, chances are good you went to high school with most of the home team. If you did, that can be bad because you know too much about them to consider them dating material. I was recently hit on at City Limits by a guy I used to baby-sit. If you don’t personally know them, you know someone who does and again, you know too much. On the upside though, if you can get past that and give it a chance, there’s a high probability that you have a lot of mutual friends in common. Now the away team (also known as the visitors, see the theme?) is usually pretty easy to spot. It’s not just the away uniform but their whole persona can give them away. They aren’t bad, just different. This can be a problem for a home team woman if she’s looking to really meet someone with potential for a relationship. You see, the away team men are on vacation, business trip, etc. Their minds are in vacation mode. This is good if you just want to hang out with new people for a night and have fun. If you want phone calls, dates and things like that, not so good. Now there are those away team members who are kind of stuck in the middle. They now live in the hometown but if it’s been less than a year, their mind is still in vacation mode and they just want to play the game.

As for team mascots, this differs. For the women it can be everything from accessories such as the right purse and shoes to a dog that can fit into that purse. For the men it varies a little more. Some like their clothes to be more laid back surfer style and others go for the business casual look. Men have also been known to use their cars as mascots. Who among us hasn’t noticed the line up of cars for valet downtown in Delray outside of 32 East? Those cars weren’t put there by accident. Men and women have also been known to use each other as mascots as well.

Uniforms are a big issue for both men and women regardless of if they are hometown or away. It does vary though depending on if you are hometown or away. Any given weekend night in downtown Delray will show you what I’m talking about. For the hometown man the uniform is normally either jeans or nice pants with a button down shirt. Whether the team member shops at Nordstrom’s or the surf shops is irrelevant, they go for the button down shirts for their going out uniform. For the away team man it’s a bit different. A lot of them don’t realize that not many men in South Florida go out at night in shorts and sandals. That lets us hometown women know exactly what we are dealing with from the start. If it’s not this look then it’s normally the standard khaki’s with a polo shirt…collar up. For the hometown women, it’s pretty simple and yet we have to change our clothes 14 times before leaving the house only to end up wearing the same style of clothes we always wear. Either a skirt and top (most likely sleeveless), a dress or jeans with a tank top of some sort. My friends and I even refer to this as “the uniform” because we all wear it so much. Hey, it’s hot down here. Have to be comfortable. The away team women go for jeans but they are a different cut with polo or button down shirts a lot of the time. Or you see some khaki’s come out in one form or another. It’s not their fault and they don’t look bad. It’s just that other parts of the country are a bit more conservative than we are in South Florida.

As for the record of each team, it varies. Everyone has their own track record of wins vs. losses and even what each team member considers a win or a loss varies person to person. That is to be sorted out on an individual basis when the teams meet one on one. Hopefully over dinner or something like that.

So, next time you hear yourself saying that you don’t play game in dating, think again. Yes, you do. If we are dating then we are playing a game. It’s just a matter of how many games you play and what type. Keep in mind too that while you might be part of the hometown team right now, you might be part of the away team one day so be nice to the away team when they try to buy you a drink at City Limits. You will want someone to be nice to you when you go to play on their turf.

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™

Why? Well because there is a time in a woman’s life when she starts to fill each thought and each action with the desire to get married. I don’t know when this hits for some, but for me, I hope it never will. I am more than surrounded in Italy with these types of women. Marriage is like a close friend that seems to always be at our side. At every meal, outing, conversation, before bed….. It seem that the topic is inescapable.

For this very reason I want to explore it with you and share the difference in opinions I have heard. These women are strong professional women, some believe in marriage and some do not. Never the less, it has been a topic of almost every discussion. This article is titled “Is Divorce Really That Bad?” for the reason that in the United States, the two go hand in hand, but here in Italy the latter is all but an option.

Let me start by saying that the divorce rate in Italy is 12% and in the United States it is a staggering 49%. But wait, is that really that bad? Americans believe that marriage is a different union than Europeans. Here in Italy, marriage is having children, sharing a home, going to functions, hosting and attending parties. In the U.S. it is the same but it becomes a difficult task if the two have fallen out of love.

Why is that? Is it to say that Americans believe that love is necessary for a marriage to thrive and that Italians do not. Once the love is gone between two people, then what do you do? Divorce, therapy, seperation? Or do you go on living exactly as you already are?

I was at a dinner party a few nights ago and a man said to me. The difference between Americans and Italians is “Americans can divorce but they cannot touch, Italians can touch but they cannot divorce.” Simply said.

This is the difference, what do you do when the love is gone between two people. Italians (both husband and wife) are known to go and find a partner to “play with” to bring that spark back into their life. This is not to say, that Americans don’t do the same thing but more that they can divorce without the scrutiny of their peers. A divorce will give them both the opportunity to live a life with someone new that they love and can be happy with.

This also raises another subject. After marriage? For Italian women the expiration date is between 40 and 50. So life after divorce is not a pleasant one. For the men, it is a different story. But then again there is no sense carrying on as if you are still in love, if you are not. Right? Or does that make you selfish? What about children, expenses, and the fact that both people don’t give up on a marriage at the same time. This is an age old question that is pondered by more now than ever before.

I do not have all the answers, I only know that in order to have a meaningful relationship of any sort you have to feel a certain amount of equality between the two of you, respect and admiration, and this has to be constant over the relationship. The difference in these two countries and the way they deal things, is not a right versus a wrong, but rather a nature vs nurture type thing. It is not my place to judge, but only to make you think about it. I believe as Italians change with the times, that woman will have their equality in unions, age will not be of relevance and people will adapt in relationships to do what is necessary to be happy.

After all, that is what really matters. Statistics

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™

Hi, my name is Lisa and I cheated on my hairdresser. I know, I broke a serious woman rule. We just don’t do this and those who do need months of deliberating and talking it out with friends and family before they actually do it.

I had a matter of days to get used to the idea. In my defense though, I did have my hairdresser’s blessing. She even was the one to arrange the rendezvous. Let me explain.

First I will start by saying that I go to Nancy at Gloss Salon in Boca Raton. Nancy is fabulous. Our hairdresser/client relationship goes back many years. I wouldn’t even consider going to anyone else. Then I got the call. Nancy was taking a vacation (can hairdressers really do that?) and would I mind seeing Becky this one time?

See, I had her blessing so stop judging me! Then the day came…appointment with Becky at 11:30am. No big deal, right? Went to the appointment, had a great time hanging out at the salon and walked out looking great. Becky put the pink back in my hair just as well as Nancy does.

Then on the way home, it hit me. I had a good time with a new hairdresser! I cheated! How did this happen? I wasn’t supposed to enjoy myself. I was in Nancy’s world with someone else and I had fun! That’s so not cool.

Why is it that we women are like this? We can find a way around the rules to win a bet (I recently did this so I know); tell a fib to a friend once in awhile if we want to back out of plans to do something, some have even been known to cheat on a man without any guilt.

Just for the record, I’ve never done that last one. Cheat on a hairdresser though? No way!! What if she found out? I mean we could run into her in a grocery store or something. The guilt would be showing all over our hair! Not to mention that it takes a long time to build up the total trust needed to have a successful hairdresser/client relationship. Do we really want to start all over with that one? Just ask Nancy how long it took me to allow her to put long layers in all over my hair instead of just in the front. I can actually let her cut my hair with the chair turned facing the mirror now.

Our hairdressers also become our friends. We are part of a community once we walk in that front door. They know about our jobs, our social lives, our love lives and going to the salon is like going to a sanctuary. Except of course for those few self absorbed divas that are in such a rush to get out of there that they totally miss out on things going on around them.Like the world is actually going to stop spinning if they aren’t out there doing whatever it is they do for a few hours.

For the rest of us, we leave the salon happy, looking beautiful and relaxed. Going to your salon is not just a beauty necessity but also an all over experience. In the heat and humidity of South Florida we women definitely need this.

So, what am I going to do to alleviate my guilt? Even though Nancy was the one who handed me over to Becky for an afternoon, I’m going to crawl back and ask for hairdresser forgiveness. Becky will definitely be my back-up when I’m in need of a visit and Nancy isn’t available but I am not a cheater and as Dorothy said to Toto, there’s just no place like home. Plus, next time I go, Nancy will be standing behind me with scissors and hair color. Is that really someone you want mad at you?

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™

Welcome to SingleDiva’s World!

It’s so nice to have you here. I figured that since we are going to be spending a lot of time together each issue that I would give you some background and insight into who and what I am. Let you see why my experiences in the dating world are worth reading about.

First I’ll tell you a bit about myself. I was born in New Jersey. Just kidding, we really aren’t going to go back that far. I am a single, 34 year old woman living in South Florida. I’ve been down here for 31 years so South Florida really is all I know. I fit into several of the South Florida stereotypes since I am blonde, I work out, I drive a convertible, love the beach and have a shoe habit. Some call it a problem, I call it a habit. 91 pairs isn’t too much, is it?

Anyway, I was that girl senior year of high school. Not a mean girl by any means. Not the cool girl either but the one that always had a boyfriend and he was a college guy at that. Ok, so it was Palm Beach Community College that he went to but still, college is college. Several of my friends were jealous that no matter what the event was, I had a permanent date. We dated for 6 years. He apparently had this little issue being faithful and as a result we broke up. The universe took care of him though because the relationship he left me for didn’t work out at all and he paid dearly for it…literally. Now we are best friends. Love that universe. It does take care of itself.

Speed forward a couple of years and a string of going nowhere dates and you have my next serious relationship. That one lasted 3 ½ years, until I got tired of his crap. Little things like being yelled at, stood up all the time, called names, cheated on, etc get on a girl’s nerves after a while. I ended that one 2 ½ years later I had to have a judge tell him I was serious when I said I didn’t want anything to do with him and we were through.

After I finally got that ordeal behind me, enter my next relationship. This was with the guy that was my friend since we were 8 years old. That relationship was near perfect and everything I ever wanted for a year. Until that day he decided he didn’t want a relationship…and told me by text message….the day after the 1 year anniversary of our first date. Yes, you read that right, a text message. Remember Carrie Bradshaw and the post-it note? That was me with the text message for months. What my guy left out was the fact that he was lying because less than 2 months later he had a new girlfriend. Less than 2 months into his new relationship, she told him she was pregnant. Love the way the universe takes care of itself. I’m sure I’ll be hearing one day how he really feels about all of that.

So, all of these experiences have brought me here. I’ve seen and heard it all at this point and now I’m going to be sharing it with you. I’ve done the online dating, the blind dates, speed dating (now I actually host the parties), the bar hook-ups, the random meetings, you name it.

My guy friends say I’m every guys dream because I’m a girly girl but I know more about football than most men do and I refuse to be anywhere other than in front of a TV on a Sunday from August to February. However, I’m still single. I’ve had some great dates but let’s be honest, nobody really wants to hear about that. I’ve had some not so great dates like the one with the very nice man who had a huge truck that I thought I was going to break an ankle getting in and out of. I’ve also had some dates that were pure hell like the guy who wanted me to take my shoes off at the bar so he could see if I had nice feet because he had a foot fetish. It only got better from there. When I ditched him, he came back to scream at me and demanded his tip back from the bartender who also happened to be a friend of mine. He’s still laughing about that night and telling all of his customers. There was also the guy who wanted to plan out our entire lives after only meeting a few hours earlier.

Yep, I’ve seen it all and now I’m going to be sharing it with you. I do have to warn you though, sometimes my world gets a little sick and sarcastic. Has to or else my current dating situation would just be depressing at times.

We live in a very unique area of the country. Not only is it multi-cultural but it’s also very transient. We have to decipher who is a local or as I call it on the Home Team and who is a tourist or again, my term is The Away team. You know those nights when you go out you’re your friends expecting one type of a night and come home with a whole different experience? Well, that’s my world. I don’t try. It just comes to me. Come with me as I work my way through the local dating jungle and enjoy the details of my life!

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™

I just recently moved to a new city and the early returns on my dating life have not been positive so far. Everyone kept telling me that my past dating problems would come to an end when I moved here because the women would be more appreciative of guys like you. But so far, all I have seen is more of the same. Granted, it hasn’t been that long, but I believe in being smart about what I’m looking for, sensing things early, and not wasting my time.

Here are the absolutes that I am seeing here: privileged or desperate; haven’t seen much in between (that was attractive).

Maybe it’s that I’m looking for the wrong women, or maybe I just have the worst luck in the world. I’ve done everything short of lowering my standards (which to me aren’t that high or unreasonable), but I can’t help what I’m attracted to and what I want. And I refuse to be with someone consistent and be unhappy knowing that I settled and that there’s someone out there better for me. I’m not confused on what it is that I want, but it’s just that it’s not in front of me.

I know this is just a good single man’s rant, but I’m curious as to what you think.

Much love,

GBM in the A

——————————————————-

Hello GBM,

My first instinct is to tell you to not lower your standards…  but sometimes we must change them.  Moving to a new place introduces us to different cultures and customs.

Even though this does not sound like an international immersion, before you can really judge the women of this new city, learn more about why the city is set up with these two distinct groups, privileged or desperate… This insight will allow you to empathize and develop relationship based on understanding.

Also, I ask for you to look inside yourself and ask what is it about “you” that the women you have dealt with do not appreciate.  What about that quality makes you a GOOD catch…?  Why do you blame being single on the women in your last and present city?

We hear it all the time: There are not any GOOD men/women left… LOL

I, personally, think this is hilarious.   There are plenty of both (GOOD men/women) and many options available.  The problem is that as a society, we look for other people to complete us and become bitter when relationships fail.

PEOPLE!!!  - Dating is exactly that!!!  Unless married, it is still on “try it out” terms and the rat race of dating is for mostly ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY!!! LOL

But back to my point… LOL

Haven’t we noticed that second marriages or those by older and more established couples tend to last the duration of a lifetime more often than couples that marry in their twenties?

Keep working on you and dissecting and improving and reinventing until you are happy…  and when we are TRULY confident in ourselves, accomplishments and fill most of your voids, then bring someone into your life.

POINT: Be patient and continue to develop yourself and she will come…

LP Kisses and Hugs…

CheLLe

——————————————————-

Bookmark and Share

More »

Powered by Bookmarkify™