July 3rd, 2009
I recently had an experience that combined the Chinese Culture (dragon boating), the Japanese Culture (I was on a Japanese team) and the American Culture (me!). Historically, there has been friction between some of these cultures. The sport and the team work of dragon boating put all that aside. It is a beautiful thing.
Dragon boat racing originated in China and represents a significant part of Chinese sports history. These traditional races are held in honor of Qu Yuan, a famous Chinese poet who died in 278 BC by committing suicide in the Miluo River. According to the story, the villagers used drums and paddles to scare the evil spirits away from his body. Today, dragon boat races are organized annually and have become very popular as sporting events. Similar to a very large canoe, dragon boats usually hold 20 paddlers who’s movements are dictated by a large drum at the front of the boat. In Shanghai, there is an annual dragon boat race that takes place in May or June, on ‘the fifth day of the fifth Chinese lunar month,’ and it is held on the Suzhou River with teams from all over China.
I have been on the Shang Long dragon boat team since 2001. It is a multicultural experience every weekend. The United Nations should take some tips from our team. There is never a negative word, we often have 11 or 12 nationalities on a single boat with an age span from late teens to a few of us Baby Boomers that are just not ready to hang up our paddles. We participate in local dragon boat races and also international races through out China.
The Chinese Dragon Boat Association subsidizes these events and the Chinese really know how to host a dragon boat festival. I have had the priviledge to paddle through out China and it is all due to the support of this Association.
These kinds of experiences are available to you and to your student through international studies. The synchrinocity and the team work involved in dragon boat racing, changes your perception and your opinion of cultures different from you. You do not get this in the class room. You get it from the beat of the drum and the cheer of the crowd and sound of those paddles hitting the water at the same time!
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June 30th, 2009
Cheryl Janus with the Newark College Examiner recently wrote a blog titled “You might be a helicopter parent if…”
I’d like to add my own “ifs”…
1. You hire a maid to clean your students dorm room or apartment
2. You have bottled water delivered to their dorm or apartment
3. You speak with your student through out the day, every day.
4. You complete the class registration for your student online.
5. Your students dorm room looks like something out of House Beautiful.
6. The amount of money spent on their technology needs approaches what you paid for your first home.
7. You call your student in between classes.
Now let me hear some of you “You might be a helicopter parent ifs…”
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June 30th, 2009
Something as simple as eating dinner together at the table night after night will result in children with better SAT scores, less teenage promiscuity, less alcohol and drug use and fewer eating disorders.
The Dinner Table is finding it way to the garage sale. Fewer and fewer families make eating together a priority. Too many kids eat fast food or if a meal is cooked at home, they eat in their rooms or in front of the television. When did this become okay?
Eating dinner together gives a parent the opportunity to look into their kiddos eyes, check in with each other, find out who their friends are… Is your kiddo happy, sad, anxious? Has there been a recent change in their behavior? All of this is information so you know that your child is safe okay.
So, you are busy. There are many convenience foods that make it possible to put a meal on the table in minutes. Ask your kiddo to help, that’s even better. Even the simple preparation of a meal together is quality time.
Hard to believe the power of a family dinner table. Try it and let me know your success stories.
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June 26th, 2009
I am very interested in the opinion of the parents of college students. The question is how to best stay in touch using our current technology. How much is enough? When do parents cross the line or when do the young adults cross the line unprepared for making a decision or handle a situation?
“It is sort of a temptation to overcommunicate because it’s so easy,” said Karen Levin Coburn, co-author of the book Letting Go: A Parent’s Guide to Understanding the College Years.”
We have cell phones, texting and e-mail, along with the social-networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace, Twitter, Web cams and instant messaging.
According to a study headed by Hofer, an adolescence and educational psychologist, college students now have some contact with their parents an average of 13.4 times per week - almost twice a day. Is it possible that what we think is assisting our children may be an “electronic tether” that hampers their development
Now do you think, this is too much? Not enough? Just about right?
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June 19th, 2009
In 18 years, a degree from a public school will cost around $200,000 and a private university will run closer to $400,000, according to the College Board, which administers the SAT standardized college admissions test.
Adapted from “The Wall Street Journal Financial Guidebook for New Parents,” by Stacey L. Bradford. Copyright 2009 by Dow Jones & Co. Inc. Published by Three Rivers Press, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group
For most of us, the only way to accumulate that kind of cash is to start setting money aside while our kids are still in diapers.
How?
529 Basic College Savings PlanThe 529 plan is a tax-advantaged savings account that allows you to invest money today and withdraw the funds free of federal income taxes, provided the money is used for qualified college expenses.
529 Prepaid Tuition PlanA prepaid tuition plan allows you to set aside money in an account that locks in today’s tuition price for participating schools. These come in two flavors: state plans for state schools and an independent 529 plan for private colleges.
The UGMA and UTMAThrough the Uniform Gift to Minors Act (UGMA) and the Uniform Transfer to Minors Act (UTMA), a child can own securities and other investments in his or her own name, as long as a parent or guardian acts as a custodian on the account until the child reaches the age of majority.
Increase Financial AidTo maximize how much money a family qualifies for, parents should save as much as they can in their own names, rather than their child’s. The good news is that when you open a 529 college savings plan or a Coverdell education savings account, these accounts are viewed as parental assets.
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June 16th, 2009
Helicopter parents have raised kids that think they are special - they are.
These kids expect to earn lost of money. They will need it to support their expensive lifestyle and they will probably figure out a way, with the help of their parents. Parents that have always been there for them, protected them, paved the way, let them win, and always gave them a trophy.
And you know what? This is an amazing generation of optimiism. They expect the best.
Even better yet what I love about this generation is, the do not see color. This is their world. A world of inter mixed color and culture. That is a beautiful thing.
This generation trusts the generation of their parents. They communicate with them. They like their parents. They like them so much, they are moving back in with them!
So I want to toast the helicopter parents out there that have gotten a bad rap. You have brought a dimension to parenting that has been missing. Have you over parented? Who is to say, this parenting thing is complex. That is why I put together a Parenting course for parents of College Students. Parents need skills too. Check out collegeparentsadvice.com
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June 16th, 2009
Cell phone calls remain as the most frequently used technology, followed by e-mail. Text messaging is quickly increasing. Parents are rivaling their kids with their texting abilities.
This generation reports having great relationships with their parents. A lot of this is due to the open communication. So Parents, you need to feel good about changing the secretive communication patterns of the past. Put now, it is important to look at how much communication is enough.
Young Adults tend to be less autonomous when there is a parent trying to control the student’s decision-making process, such as deciding which courses to take or solving problems with teachers or friends. This is stopping your child from learning what they need to learn to become independent adults.
Communication between the parent and young adult should foster independence and promote confidence in making decisions. It should not inhibit it.
Remember, you don’t always have to take the call. And when you do take the call, listen, discuss options (a discussion means everyone in the conversation participates in finding the solution) and then ask, “what are you going to do about this?” Let them know you have confidence in their decision making and yes, sometimes it is not going to work. Sometimes, they are going to figure it out even better than you would.
When the above happens, let them enjoy the success of their actions. Do not take it away from them.
Tips for parents
– Discuss which technology tool works best for both of you.
– Reach an understanding on the frequency of communication. Maybe come up with a set time to begin with. For example: Sunday evenings.
– If you use Facebook or another social-networking site, don’t be put off if you get blocked from certain content.
– Although today’s technology makes it easier than ever to stay connected, respect their right to experience the product of their decision making.
Any comments?
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June 14th, 2009
These are must reads. Neal Godfrey and Carolina Edwards’ well-regarded book “Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Children” or their follow-up: “Money Still Doesn’t Grow On Trees: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Financially Responsible Teenagers and Young Adults.”
Parents are not comfortable talking to their kiddos about money. They would actually prefer to talk to them about sex. Now what does this say about the topic of money.
Raising financially responsible children removes the pain and agony many adults experience when they are financially irresponsible. I believe so many adults are financially naive that they cannot teach their children what they have not learned themselves.
So read these books. Learn what you need to learn and then pass it on. Pass it on to your children.
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June 12th, 2009
You have probably read my blog on MyCollegeCalendar.
They have now added Google translator to their site so all of the college information and advice can now be seen in Mandarin (and other languages).
The time to get organized is now. All you parents if high school seniors 2010, get your calendar started and use the summer to get a jump start on the college applications. You have more time now, than you will during the senior school year which gets crazy. It also takes a lot of pressure off your student so they can enjoy this final year of high school.
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June 9th, 2009
Our current generation lacks an internal censor for their choice of words. Parents can brace themselves because it does not get any better during the college years, it actually gets worse. The lingo on campus is relaxed and the “F” word flies… They think nothing of it. I have heard professors use it in class. No one even flinches.
For the college students that are looking at graduation and employment, they will probably need to polish up that censor. There are too many “old school” employers that are not going to accept this language.
If this generation gives us the customer service they have come to expect, then customer service is going to improve dramatically. The Millennials (this current generation in college) want it all to happen NOW. They have brought instant gratification up to a new level.
They expect a response to their email within minutes. Not days or hours. Can you imagine if this is the customer service we can come to expect from them in our future. If this is a by product of helicopter parenting, then I say, “Way to Go Parents!”
I expect we are going to get a residual from the parenting this amazing generation has received. This generation will give back to us probably in ways we have not even discovered yet…
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