When I was in junior high, a girl I’d known all my life suddenly stopped talking to me. I made every effort to be kind to her. I tried to start conversations with her only to be met with one word answers.

I smiled at her and she would turn around as if I didn’t exist. She used every opportunity to make me feel excluded. Finally, I stopped making any effort at all and that ended things. Looking back with a little more maturity, I can see she was a mean girl.

If you know one, you already know a mean girl thinks it’s cute or funny to gossip about, ignore, or mistreat other girls. They thrive on making the girls who don’t fall into their hierarchy miserable.

Why Are Girls Mean?

What’s the deal? Why are teen girls so cruel? For some, it’s a game with you randomly picked as the target. Other girls are intimidated by you. Why?

Because you have something they want. You might have your own sense of style or a great boyfriend or a large group of friends. Looking back, I think my own mean girl was jealous because I had (and still have) awesome relationships with my friends and family.

How Should You Handle Your Mean Girl?

Dealing with a mean girl is draining for even the strongest girl. Because I’ve been there, I’m sharing my five tips for surviving them. 

1. Watch her actions, not her words. Mean girls will try to cozy up to you to if they think they can get what they want, but stay on guard. Mean girls are experts at using their words to get their way. But if you stay focused on her actions, you’ll be less likely to be swayed by pretty speeches.

2. Don’t give a mean girl space in your head. It’s easy to let the negative things others say about us become our mental soundtrack. But here’s what you gotta know: mean girls lie. They’ll say anything to get you to doubt yourself.

3. Talk to someone. This one’s important. Having someone else listening can make all the difference between feeling totally alone or feeling totally supported. Talking about a painful situation will help you feel better, too.

4. Do something that makes you feel good. What do you enjoy doing that makes you feel like you? Do you write? Draw? Sing? Stay connected to activities that you love. They can be great stress busters!

5. Make healthy choices that help you feel empowered. When you’re being bullied by mean girls, it’s easy to feel powerless. Take back your control by making choices that empower you like eating healthy and working out.

Have You Known A Mean Girl?

Have you ever had your own mean girl?  What do you wish you’d done?  Share your stories in the comments!

Image by: David Castillo Dominici

This is one of my favorite times of year. The foods, the decorations, the traditions, the music. It’s just beautiful, isn’t it?

But sometimes, the holidays can be hard. Greeting cards, commercials, songs and even cheerful Facebook updates remind us of the importance of family at Christmas.

And if there’s been a shift in your family (like a sibling leaving for college, the loss of someone you love, or a major illness) then Christmas might leave you feeling sad, confused, or a little lost. That’s a natural response and it’s OK.

So, how do you make it through the holidays?

First, recognize your feelings. When we try to cram our feelings deep down inside, they just come out in another way. Emotions are a gift from God and trying to suppress them is like overfilling a suitcase. You might be able to close it temporarily but eventually, everything is going to come out.

Instead, talk about how you’re feeling with someone you trust. This person might be your best friend, a teacher, or parent. It’s OK to say, “I’m having a hard time with Christmas because…”.

Second, take care of yourself. This is especially important if you’re helping to care for an injured or sick family member. Stress will eventually wear you down and cause you to get sick.

Instead of letting the stress build, take regular time out to do things that help you relax. You might try walking your dog, keeping a journal, taking a bubble bath or watching a funny movie. The point is to do things that help you unwind.

Finally, remember that God is with you. When we go through stressful times, it’s easy to feel alone and forgotten. Hebrews 13:5 assures us of this truth: God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” ♥

Yesterday, I received a long awaited package! Inside this package was the missing cord for an old Super Nintendo gaming system. Immediately, I sat down and played my favorite games for…well, let’s just say a long time.

My siblings and I have been searching for the right cord to our old console for three years. Keep in mind that the system was popular in the ’90s. A lot of nice tech support people that I spoke to remember the system but no one was selling the right cords.

“Why search for something that long?” You could ask.

The answer is simple: I was looking for something that was valuable to me. While you might look at the same cord and see a cable for an outdated game, I saw something that had worth.

At this time of year, you might be wondering, “What’s the deal with Christmas? Why did Jesus come to earth?”

Because God is looking for something that’s valuable to Him. He is looking for a relationship with you. While you might look and see a girl with nothing to offer, God sees someone that has worth.

So, what does God do? The same thing I did with the cord: He made a purchase. 1 Corinthians 6 says, “God bought you with a high price”.

God bought you through the death of Jesus. Jesus came so you and I could have a relationship with God. I think that’s definitely something to celebrate!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have 40 more levels to go conquer.

Update: You can click here to see a photo of the console I’m referring to.

Last month, I finally realized that no one is paying me to surf Facebook or write my name repeatedly in llama font. This thought might have depressed some people but for me, it was a wake up call.

So after a few minutes of pondering what exactly to do with my life, I came to the obvious conclusion: I would write a book. The best book ever.

With this thought in mind, I sat down at my computer and began furiously typing. After a few pages, I was done for the day.

My computer demanded I name my beloved work in progress, so I titled it: My-Brilliantly-Written-Sure-To-Win-Prizes-and-Make-Me-Millions-and-End-World-Hunger-All-At-the-Same-Time-Book.

Then the next day, I didn’t want to write. But I checked my bank account balance. When I saw only a few cents in there, I suddenly felt writerly again.

I opened my book and after reading one paragraph, I stopped to rename it to My-This-Is-Going-To-Need-A-Lot-of-Work-Book. Then I wrote on it some more.

By the time I finished day two of writing, I’d officially renamed the draft again: My-What-Was-I-Thinking-How-Can-You-Call-Yourself-A-Writer-Book.

Now after grueling day two, I was prepared to part ways with this book. Except I actually liked this book (well, parts of it anyway), so I emailed a writing friend for advice.

My friend told me to keep writing because she knows that there is “a book in you”.

Now it’s been three weeks, I’m still working (currently, I’m using Drunk-Monkeys-Can-Write-Better-Than-This as my title).

I might just be writing a book!

1. The look of Radical Revolution was finally updated this week! It’s on WordPress, which makes it easier than ever to interact with all of our writers. Plus, we’re on Twitter and Facebook so you can be sure to get your fix!

2. Thanksgiving. I love turkey and stuffing (some people call it dressing) and gravy and all the delicious foods. And the desserts! I could write paragraphs and paragraphs about the desserts!

3. Thanksgiving weekend. I know, I know! Christmas has become so commercialized and I do agree. But there’s something I love about the crowds in the stores. I especially enjoy watching the way people show kindness to one another.

4. Surprises. One of my favorite things about Christmas is getting to surprise loved ones or having loved ones surprise me!

5. Christmas music. Michael Buble sings Christmas tunes. (That sound you heard was my heart melting a little bit.)

6. Bribing Santa. It’s never too early to start!

7. Wrapping gifts. I love giggling with my partners in crime as I wrap gifts and hiss-whisper over how to best hide said gift until Christmas morning.

So, now I’ve shared the things that make my excitement list…tell me what’s on yours!