We took Mackenzie to her favorite park yesterday, and this time I got some video. Makes me smile every time I watch it.

Happy Monday!

xo

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I’m not a political activist, but please consider watching this video and contacting your senator. Tell them to vote “NO” on the Protect IP | SOPA bill on January 24, 2012. I did.

Learn more at sopastrike.org.

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… is what I’m in.

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Love,
Chris, Dee, and Mackenzie

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It has been so long that picking up where I left off feels impossible, and starting right here, right now lands us somewhere in the middle of the story.

I am notorious for starting stories in the middle. I don’t mean to do it; it’s just that I forget who knows what and whom, and I don’t always remember to build the backstory.

I will try to do better this time.

Mackenzie

Let’s start with December 1. Mackenzie turned fourteen months old! FOURTEEN MONTHS!! She weighs a little over 23 pounds, and she is so tall. We just bought 18-month-old pants for her, mostly to cover her tummy. She wears fewer onesies and more shirts and pants now. One of my favorite things to see do is ask her where her belly button is. She will lift up her shirt and show you, and then she’ll reach for your shirt to look for yours.

Mackenzie loves to wave, to clap, to dance, to play with colorful, shiny things. Christmas ornaments and toy blocks are current favorites. She loves Elmo, and she’ll sing along with the la las in the Elmo Song. She loves matching games, boxes, and putting things inside of things. She understands simple sentences, and she “talks” a lot. She gets frustrated when I misunderstand her.

She is so curious. Her balance and coordination are great, and she pushes up on one foot a lot when she’s crawling. I think she’ll be walking soon.

Actually, things are getting really, really fun with Mackenzie. We can communicate with her, and we are learning her personality and what interests her and makes her happy. She is so sweet, and so quick to smile, even when her one-year molars are doing their worst.

We added bath time to our nightly routine, and it Mackenzie’s absolute favorite. Here’s a peak into how much fun she has:

I am so grateful for our nigh-time routine. It ends the day in such a peaceful, consistent way. It’s time the three of us spend together, and no matter how busy or chaotic the day was, we end it peacefully, happily, kind of a reset for the next day.

Family

We spent Thanksgiving at my Mom’s in Missouri, and it was amazing. All of my brothers and sisters were there, most with their kids and loved ones. We had a packed house and tons of food. It was just so great. Mackenzie did a great job in the car on the way there and back, and she warmed up to all of the new people in no time. My mom and my brothers and sisters made a fantastic, delicious meal. It was wonderful.

It has been nine years since we were all together, but this year was special. There was a little extra incentive for all of us to make it happen this year. I haven’t written about this here yet because I haven’t known how, so I suppose I’ll just get it out there — my mother has been fighting cancer for about the last year. A tumor was discovered in her throat just after Christmas last year, and she is just now finishing a second round of treatment. The summer was particularly difficult — she had surgery, radiation, chemo, so many complications, and so much pain. But then the cancer was gone, and we were all so happy. Unfortunately, it seems like it was coming back, so she agreed to a second round of treatment. Thankfully (SO thankfully), this round has been much easier on her. I’m not sure when we’ll have test results, though.

So Thanksgiving was extra special. The last two times I’ve seen my mom, she wasn’t strong enough to hold Mackenzie, and I didn’t get any pictures of them together. But THIS time, she was strong enough, and we got pictures. Chris even got a little bit of video. This photo is my favorite.

Work

Another big change for us recently has been that I’ve gone back to work full-time, and I’m not doing much freelance any more. This has been a huge change, but it is so good in so many ways. The agency I work for is fantastic, I’m still in web development, but I’m with people (grown ups!) all day, and Mackenzie has a fantastic teacher and is learning and growing in amazing new ways all the time. It has been a positive change for both of us, albeit definitely an adjustment.

So. There you have it. There is so much more to say, and many more pictures to share, but that’s the back story. I’ll be back tomorrow with some photos of Mackenzie at Christmastime last year, as well as some more recent ones. Baby girl is growing up!

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One post was titled, “Night Moves,” and it was going to be about Mackenzie at age 13 months and all the non-sleeping going on here. Another one was called, “Up All Night,” and it was going to be about the new hit TV show and — you guessed it — Mackenzie NOT SLEEPING.

But then we decided to do sleep training again, and for the last four or five nights, we have all been sleeping better. Thank you, Mom, for praying for us.

I took photos for a couple of Wordless Wednesday posts that also never materialized. Ahem.

The pictures aren’t great, but they give you an idea of our lives lately.

No photos of this weekend. Chris was sick, and Mackenzie had a fever. I held her almost nonstop all weekend, and two of her molars broke through. We looked at more houses and ruled them all out. We also tried out formula with Mackenzie, but she pushed the bottle away. (Got any tips for me?)

So. Tonight’s post is a little abrupt, a little haphazard. I know. There’s no point, really, except to break the silence and say hello. Big things, good things are happening here. I hope to be back soon with {more and better} photos and all the details.

xo

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I mean, Instagram is great, but this? This is just… Well, you be the judge.

Chris did an incredible job, right? I am so proud of him, and so unbelievably thankful to have such a talented photographer actually living in my house.

More photos to come soon, I’m sure!

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Annie Original. She is finally losing weight. Yay!

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It was so us.

But the timing is bad. We’re quite a ways from our down payment savings goal. And, although the community is growing and improving, it’s not the best. It’s also about an hour long commute from work for both of us.

I can’t help it. I am so disappointed. We finally found a house – the house. But nothing else is where or how it should be.

So we’re putting off looking anymore until we have our down payment together. It is so difficult to put off that yearning and wanting in our heart in order to do it right.

Have you been there before?

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Friday morning was like that for me.

Our morning routine yesterday was the same as usual, except that we were running about 15 minutes behind. We try to leave the house at 7:30, but Chris was exhausted from working all night on Wednesday, and so we were just a bit behind.

We dropped Chris off at about 8:05, and then Mackenzie and I drove to her daycare. She was super talkative on the way there until we were about five minutes away. It was close to 8:30, and since she woke up at 6:30, I assumed she was tired.

Never assume.

When we arrived I opened the door to the back seat and thought, “Hmm, something doesn’t seem right. Do I smell something?” But Mackenzie was frowning at me, so I said, “Don’t worry, sweetie, we’re going to go inside, and you’re going to play, and it’s all going to be okay.” I pulled her out of her car seat, put her on my hip, grabbed her things, and closed the car door.

When we got to her classroom, I pulled her away from my waist to set her down and felt something wet on her back. I asked immediately if I could change her. I pulled her away from my waist and saw poo everywhere. All down my shirt, on my sleeve, on her sleeves, out the top and bottoms of her pants, on her socks.

So the next 15 minutes were spent locating Mackenzie’s diapers and wipes and change of clothes, changing her, soaping down and bleaching the changing area, getting her dressed, running to the car for a clean pair of socks, and then having a conversation with her teacher about her winter boots not being “good” shoes. (That about put me over the edge. The teacher was clearly having a bad morning and did not want to put Mackenzie’s boots on her when she took them off.)

But I got Mackenzie changed and dressed and settled at the breakfast table just in time for some banana bread, which she loves.

After I left I had to call in late to work and explain. Luckily, I work with some women who are also moms, and they thought it was hilarious.

Since I had poo all over me, I had to change. My best bet was to run to Target, which I did, but it took 20 minutes to get there (still closer than the 40 minutes to my house). I ran in, bought a shirt, and decided I would have to change in the car.

And then, lo and behold, the local high school has blocked off half the main road for their homecoming parade.

Awkward.

So I was an hour late, driving alongside the parade, trying to find a clear spot of highway to change my shirt. Which I did. Eventually.

Hope that made you laugh a little. Have a lovely weekend.

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It took me five days to announce Mackenzie’s birth. In true form it has taken me another five to write about her birthday. Sometimes we are so in the moment, so busy with the business of life, it’s hard to take time to document it all.

And sometimes you start the day with a poopy diaper up to your hairline, and there is just no time for anything else.

Be that as it may… Last Saturday we celebrated Mackenzie’s Very First Birthday with my mom, one of my brothers, and two of my sisters in Missouri. We had a wonderful time visiting and celebrating my sweet girl’s special day. We had a picnic and grilled burgers at the park.

I made carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting from my mom’s recipe for Mackenzie’s first experience with cake. At first she wasn’t sure, but then she loved it. I wish I had a still shot to share of her eating it, but Chris got video footage. He has a plan to edit it into a video — if and when that happens, I promise to share it here.

On Monday at her checkup, we learned that Mackenzie is 30 1/4 inches tall (90th percentile) and weighs 22 lbs 14 oz (75th percentile). She’s a tall girl, but that’s a perfect height/weight ratio. She also has nine teeth, she’s crawling everywhere, and she loves to pull up on her play table and the sides of her crib. (Her height also means it’s time for a bigger car seat. Whoa.)

Life is full and full of joy with Mackenzie. She is so sweet and even-tempered. She has a great sense of humor, and she loved to play games with us. She still loves her books, but she is drawn to her toys more and more. Mackenzie is really going places these days as well. She can crawl anywhere she wants to go, and I have a feeling she’ll be cruising along furniture in the next month or so.

I truly can’t believe she’s a year old already. One whole year of Mackenzie. She’s amazing, and I am so proud and so happy to be her mama.

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Photos actually taken Monday.

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The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain
So the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again

That nursery rhyme is a metaphor for my life these days. Or the old infuriating saying, “Try, try again.”

We are trying things. And sometimes they work, and sometimes they don’t.

Day care has been working, but yesterday was really hard for me. The morning was particularly hard — I missed Mackenzie and just didn’t want to let her go all day. Mackenzie’s favorite teacher was out taking care of her sick daughter, and I hated leaving Mackenzie with the substitute.

But once again, she had a great day. She played with the other baby and ate the daycare lunch and finished both of her morning and afternoon bottles. She even took a great nap in the afternoon.

My day got better, too. I worked on a few different projects. I made progress.

And then the sun came out and cleared away the clouds. I shut down half an hour early, picked Mackenzie up, and took her to the park.

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Mackenzie will be ONE(!) in just a few short weeks, so we mailed out her birthday party invitations the first weekend of the month.

We are planning a small get together at the park with friends and family, but since so many of our family members live out of state and can’t be there, I wanted to send them something special to celebrate the occasion. I loved this idea from Duet Letterpress and decided to do my own version.

What do you think?

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Sunday morning Daddy and Mackenzie time is the best.

Her first word to me this morning was, “Ma!” She kept saying it throughout the day today, and I kept saying, “Yes, Mama loves Mackenzie.” Early this afternoon she said, “Ma-m!” I was ironing and turned to her and said, “Yes, that’s me! Mama.” The next time she said it, I turned to her and smiled, and she smiled back at me. I am **pretty sure she is saying it with meaning. And it’s the coolest thing in the world.

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Today was Mackenzie’s very first day in real day care. It went so much better than I expected — for both of us.

Over the last couple of months I have waffled back and forth between wanting to go back to a regular job and wanting to be home with Mackenzie full-time. I pursued some opportunities that were opening up, but for different reasons, every door I tried closed.

I learned so much in the process.

The work I do is in demand, and my skills are in demand. However, the market itself is intense, and I’m not ready to give up days, nights, and weekends — and miss all that time with my daughter — for a career opportunity, no matter how attractive it may be. I won’t even throw my hat in the ring.

I also learned that I’m not okay with just any child care solution for Mackenzie, and I don’t want to be away from her 40 hours a week. I want to be the primary caregiver and teacher in her life right now. I don’t want to miss a moment with her.

At the same time all of that has been going on, my freelance work has really started picking up. The projects I am working on are challenging and exciting, and my clients are fantastic.

SO, Chris and I finally decided to try a compromise that gives Mackenzie more time with other kids and other caregivers and gives me some dedicated time to work. I found a child care center/pre-school that I love, and we’ve committed to just two days a week.

So today was our first day. Mackenzie was a champ, and I tried not to be a wreck. I got some work done and had lunch with Chris, called to check on Mackenzie twice, and picked her up even earlier than I had planned. But all in all, it was a good day.

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That might just be because she mailed invitations to her birthday party this week. She was such a helper and loved waving the envelopes around. A few of them must have been for extra special people, because she insisted on biting the corners just the slightest bit.

(If you’ve already received your invite and you were wondering why the corners of the envelope are a little worn, now you know it’s just Mackenzie sending extra love.)

You are ALL invited, by the way.

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