Deeds for Needs

Scratched and Dusty Vinyl Records

2014-12-09T22:27:00.002-08:00

About 7 years ago, I inherited my Father and Mother's old turntable and record collection. At the time I didn't think too much of it. They didn't have enough space for storage in their new home so I tucked it away underneath my staircase and promptly forgot about them, until a few weeks ago when I went underneath there to find something. I can't remember what I was looking for, but what I found was a treasure of memories.

I pulled out the old fashioned DUAL 502 belt drive turntable from underneath the stairs and ventured to put it all together with our receiver. I plugged it all in wrong the first few tries, but eventually I did manage to get it to work and the hip sounds of Huey Lewis and the News filled my living room.

After Huey it was Liberace's turn and then I pulled out Engelbert Humperdinck and as the song Quando Quando Quando rang out through the speakers I was transported to the age of 8 years old and I was learning to dance while standing on my dads toes in our living room at 2115 Farnham Place.

I noticed that my Foreigner 4 and Journey albums were missing from the pile of vinyl records, and there were only the vintage albums of my parents time left. The ones that I use to roll my eyes at as a teenager every time they played the archaic outdated music. I my suppose Foreigner 4 and Journey albums would be considered Golden Oldies now, eh? Although, I did hear my youngest daughter singing "Don't stop believing" the other day as she listened to her Ipod. She's got that one downloaded.

As I pulled out the Christmas albums the other day, and tried to put the albums in some kind of order, a thought came to me. I was thinking about my story. The story of my life, and I realized, I'm like one of those old records. Over the years, my life has had a few tough times. Depression, loneliness, fear, low self worth has shown it's ugly head. I'm a bit weathered, a little scratched up and dusty. As I looked closer to the album, beyond the dust, past the scratches, I noticed the grooves where the music is hidden, and I realized deep within the grooves of my heart is a song. I never thought of it as a worthwhile song, but God tells me it's a beautiful song that He created. He wants me to allow Him to put it on that turntable, so the music can play out to let others hear.

It's taken me many years to be able to visualize just how much God loves me, and for me to be able to embrace that truth with all my heart.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

Each of us is a record. Some of us are a little more scratched up, some are less dusty, but each of us has a beautiful song within the grooves. My prayer for you is to know without a doubt that you are a beautiful song. Beyond the scratches and dust may you allow God to take you out of that dark place under the stairs that you've been hiding in and let Him bring you into the light of the Living room to be played and enjoyed.

Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom an pain of it no less that in the excitement and gladness; touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments and life itself is grace.

Frederick Buechner

Give To Caesar What Belongs To Caesar

2014-09-06T01:34:00.000-07:00

- $7,000 braces
- $400 Pony Club Rally
- $400 stuff for Rally
- $300 shocks for car
- $800 water heater
- $600 new brakes on car
- $300 soccer
- $200 stuff for soccer
- $25 birthday present for your child's friend
- Back to School shoes and clothes (maybe in B.C)
- Mortgage
- Hydro
- Gas
- Food
- Insurance
- Taxes

I'll stop right here. I think you get the picture. The money lists due seem to go on and on and on, don't they? I have had my moments where I find myself not breathing due to stress; when I focus on the money list. My breath is laboured and short, my body tense, my joy non-existent. I live in great dis-ease. My family is affected and my health is affected. I do not live free.

Galatians 5:1

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Why am I not living free?

I'm focused on money and not on Him. I'm ashamed to say that money, and it's worries, hold me captive at times. It is my yoke of slavery. My decisions have been based off the question, "How much money will this bring us?" Not that I want a lot of money... I just want to breath and pay off my debt, so I can start saving and live free.

Perhaps, you too have felt like you were on a sinking ship with only the top of the mast up out of water and you're hanging on for dear life?

We need it to live, but we don't truly live worrying about the lack of money, do we?

How do we get the ship of finances back afloat and start living in that freedom?

- Pray

- Humble yourself and stop trying to do it all on your own.

- Find a financial adviser you can trust - don't be embarrassed to ask for help.

Then...

"Give to Caesar what is Caesar's and to God what is God's." Mark 12:17

Don't let money hold you back from being the person God created you to be. It's going to take time and effort, but you can do it!

Hope

2014-06-04T11:19:00.000-07:00

I was privileged to teach a lesson at Celebrate Recovery last Monday June 2nd, 2014 on Hope. I am the Children's Leader at CR and every once in a while they'll let me out of kids tower to speak to the adults.

For those who were unable to make it, here is the lesson for you:

Hope

Introduction:

Tonight we will be tutored on University Frat Houses, Baby Grand Pianos, and Spiderman, Seriously, although these topics will be discussed, our main focus tonight is on Hope.

Principle 2: Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover.

“Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”

Matthew 5:4

Step 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.”

Philippians 2:13

So what is hope? Some say that hope is the souls manna that feeds our future giving sustenance, energy and purpose to life. Other’s say that hope is the seed that is planted in a desperate soul. It is light and life in a dark place. It’s that ‘light bulb’ moment in our self-pity parties when we realize the negative attitude we hold onto is getting us nowhere and that we need to do something different to get out of the darkness that surrounds us. Hope is the realization that there is a need.

- When we are trapped in a tunnel of misery, hope points to the light at the end.

- When we are over worked and exhausted, hope gives us fresh energy.

- When we are discouraged, hope lifts our spirits.

- When we are tempted to quit, hope keeps us going.

- When we lose our way and confusion blurs the destination, hope dulls the edge of panic.

- When we struggle with a crippling disease or a lingering illness, hope helps us persevere beyond the pain.

- When we fear the worst, hope brings reminders that God is still in control

- When we must endure the consequences of bad decisions, hope fuels our recovery.

- When we find ourselves unemployed, hope tells us we still have a future.

- When we are forced to sit back and wait, hope gives us the patience to trust.

- When we feel rejected and abandoned, hope reminds us we’re not alone… we’ll make it.

- When we say our final farewell to someone we love, hope in the life beyond gets us through our grief.

From the book “Hope Again” by Charles Swindoll

We don’t look alike. We don’t act alike. We don’t dress alike. We have different tastes in the food we eat (I love sushi and Greek… you may enjoy BBQ’s or Curry). We have different tastes in the books we read, the cars we drive, and the music we enjoy. We have dissimilar backgrounds, goals and motivations. We all work at different jobs, and we enjoy different hobbies. I love writing stories and going on adventures, maybe you like knitting, going on hikes, or riding motorcycles. We ascribe to a variety of philosophies and differ over politics. We have out own unique convictions on child rearing and education. Our weights vary, our heights vary and so does the colour of our skin and hair.

But the one thing we all have in common; we all know what it means to hurt. Suffering is a universal language and our tears are all the same.

Tonight we are going to take a deeper look into the word Hope, because if there is one thing we all need to understand is that God’s love is looking for us, no matter how lost we feel. God’s searching love can find us, no matter how many times we have fallen. This is our hope and this hope heals.

Let’s take a look at the acrostic for the word Hope:

H - Higher Power

O - Openness to Change

P - Power to Change

E - Expect to Change

H stands for Higher Power:

Roman’s 11:36

“Everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power.”

All hope, begins with this understanding of who this higher power is. I know in the past I have struggled with this. I have doubted my higher power and questioned who this Higher Power really is. Sometimes I have wondered if I said I believed, because other people said I should. Truthfully, I never really had a relationship with God. Back then I allowed my doubts to rule the way and just pretended to know what I was doing… pretended that I had a relationship with God. Some of you may be in this boat right now, wanting to but, just don’t know how to get there.

How do we get there? It’s a process. You see the first four words of the second step are… We came to believe… Belief is a result of consideration, doubt, reasoning and then finally a conclusion. This process takes time. For some it happens overnight and for others it takes years.

Without this belief, without this trust in our Higher Power we are not open to change or understand the Power we can tap into to change and we also have difficulties expecting change. Then we get stuck in our old patterns when we don’t trust in this amazing Higher Power.

So, how big is this higher power we are supposed to trust?

Ephesians 3:17-19
“Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. (You don’t have to do anything but accept/believe). Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

Agape Love is something really hard for us mere mortals to understand. Let me try explaining it… a little differently…

Picture a University Frat House. Now, to get into one of these frat houses there is usually a few initiations you must go through before you are accepted into that particular house and each house has it’s own rules. Perhaps you’ve heard the one where the initiate must down a drink with a live fish in it and then proceed to throw it up… if the fish survives you may enter the home. Or perhaps you’ve heard about when students were deprived of sleep for many days, unless they ate a can of cat food. Maybe, you’ve heard about some students having to suck on oxo bullion cubes while parading around the neighbourhood with whole raw dead fish stuffed down their bras and then having to eat those fish afterwards. Nasty… but I only chose the more tame initiations that I read.

Now, picture a frat house with the doors wide open. No initiations. All you need to do is believe the doors are open and that all people are welcome, no matter what. All you need to do is believe and walk right in. That’s all.

All the other religions of this world or non-religious groups of this world are asking you to do something in order to join up. I want to get a Nexus pass for the girls and I because it would be a lot easier to go visit my sister down in the States with one, than sitting in the 3 hour border line-up at certain times. Paperwork filled out in triplicate, fingerprint scans and who knows what other scans. It’s quite a process and there are a lot of hoops I must jump in order to join this club of border crossing travellers. Maybe not drink a live fish or anything like that… but you get my point. But, Christ… has already gone through that initiation process, he drank the fish… and guess what? It’s still alive. We don’t need to do anything. Just believe that He loves us that much. His door is wide open; we just need to walk in. That’s it.

We are chosen by God, we are not thrown on this earth like dice tossed across a table. We are sovereignly and lovingly placed here for a purpose.

No disorder, no disease, not even death itself can weaken or threaten God’s ultimate love over our lives. No matter what the problem, no matter what the disappointment or depth of pain, no matter what kind of destruction occurs in our bodies or around us, we are divinely loved… always.

Believing in this kind of love has a tremendous healing power.

Hebrews 11:6

“Anyone who comes to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

Psalm 62:5:

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.”

A classic letter of hope is found in 1 Peter 1:2-6 and as you read the words picture Peter saying these things to you.

“God the Father knew you and chose you long ago, and his spirit has made you holy. As a result, you have obeyed him and have been cleansed by the blood of Jesus Christ. May God give you more and more grace and peace. All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. it is by his great mercy that we have been born again, because God raised Jesus Christ from the dead. Now we live with great expectation, and we have a priceless inheritance - an inheritance that is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. And through your faith, God is protecting you by his power until you receive this salvation, which is ready to be revealed on the last day for all to see.

So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.

You see Peter (the Apostle), didn’t try to pump them up with positive thinking. Instead, he gently reached his hand to their chins and lifted their faces skyward - so they could see beyond their circumstances to their loving God.

He’s saying to them… now look… stop looking at your trials…

If God brought His son through the most painful trails and back from the pit of death itself, certainly He can bring us through whatever we face in this world no matter how deep that dark pit may seem at the time.

That brings us to…

Openness to Change:

So… okay, you’ve chosen to walk through that open door and believe. Now, what? Just sit on the couch and wish for things to change? Maybe even resist change? Change is scary… I have. I have found myself a few times like this…

(I opened up a bag of chips and flopped down on a zero gravity chair with a blanket and pillows on it and pretend to flick channels on a remote while munching on the chips).

"Oh, Lord… I wish my life would change. Please change it for me... Oh, Bones is on Netflix?"

Yes, the door is open to that particular Frat House. Yes, you believe and walk in and are accepted unconditionally. But, you are still in University and there is a lot to learn. You can’t just sit around and do nothing and just wish for change. You’ve got to open up the books and study. How else will you get to know what God wants you to do? You’ve got to be open to learn something new.

Let me put it this way… I love piano music. But, I don’t know how to play.

If you lock me in a room with a beautiful baby grand piano and left me there for a day. I would not be able to play Pachelbel’s Canon for you. If you locked me in that same room, with the piano and perhaps a pianist playing Pachelbel’s Canon all day. I may be able to give you a few notes from it, but, it wouldn’t sound pretty. Now, give me lessons each day and theory on how to play a piano for months, perhaps many years and I might sound like Liberace…well, I might be able to play you something that sounds like Pachelbel’s Canon.

Same thing… If you stuck me in a room with a Bible and I stared at it all day. I wouldn’t really get to know God. I wouldn’t be able to teach you about God and how much He loves you. Now, if you threw a Pastor in with me, and he prayed and he talked about God all day, I may pick a few things up, but I would really get to know God if the Pastor did all the work? I need to pick up this Bible and open it and read it and pray and seek wise counsel and this must be done for many months, perhaps even many years.

Okay… Maybe you need me to show you a different way. (Throw sunflower seeds to the ground).Okay those seeds are hope. You can grow now… (Pause)… Hmmm…

Okay… come on. I am hoping you grow now… Why are they not growing? These seeds need water, dirt, sunshine, and maybe fertilizer. They won’t grow without it. You won't grow if you do not have the openness to learn something new, roll up those sleeves and get a little messy. I know... It's out of the comfort zone.

Jesus desires a hands-on, day-to-day, moment-to-moment relationship with us. With Christ in us, we gain perspective, we grow deeper in a relationship with him and maybe we even grow up?

Power to Change:

God’s power in us can change us.

Spiderman… He’s the protagonist in the Spiderman’s stories, or if you like, the hero. So who is Spiderman’s archenemy or antagonist? The Green Goblin? I think he has a few, doesn’t he? Well… did you know that you are the protagonist of your story? Yes, you are the hero. And you have a few antagonists wearing you down… don’t you? Well, you may not have “spidy” senses or a web that can help you fly and/or swing from tower to tower. You have something greater; you have the creator of the universe right by your side. That’s pretty powerful stuff.

Philippians 4:13:

“For I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power.”

We just need to tap into it!

Our final meeting is not with the antagonist in our life’s story, but with the author himself… as a Christian, what you are going through isn’t the end of the story… it’s simply the rough journey that leads to the right destination and out hope in Christ stabilizes us in the storms of life that blow our way and want to knock us down.

Expect to change:

Matthew 17:20:

“If you had faith even as small as a tiny mustard seed you could say to this mountain, “Move!” and it would go far away. Nothing would be impossible.”

The dictionary says Hope is to desire with expectation of obtainment… to expect with confidence.

How do we do that when we feel like crap? When we feel unworthy?

Did you know that some of the most famous pieces of art in the world -Mona Lisa or the Pieta in Rome- are priceless because of their makers? World-renowned artists created them.

You were created by God.

Psalm 139:13-14:

“For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful…”

Now ask yourself: What is my worth? My value as a person? If we really paid attention to who made us and actually embraced that our worth is found in our maker and not in ourselves or in other peoples opinions of us, it’s not a stretch to say that each of us sitting here is a priceless treasure. Who we are is derived from who God is. Because of God’s greatness, we are created in God’s image just might have great worth.

God doesn’t make junk. You are not meaningless accidents - You are God’s masterpieces.

In closing, I’d just like to end with:

“As important as water is to fish,

Vital as electricity is to a light bulb,

Essential as air is to our lungs,

Hope is that basic to life

Take away our hope, and our world is reduced to something between depression and despair.”

Charles R. Swindoll from the book Hope Again

Without hope prisoners of war languish and die, students get discouraged and drop out of school, athletic teams fall into a slump and continue to lose, fledgling writers, longing to be published, run out of determination, addicts return to their habits, marriage partners decide to divorce, inventors, artists, entertainers, entrepreneurs, even preachers, lose their creativity.

Hope isn’t merely a nice option that helps us temporarily clear a hurdle. It’s essential to our survival.

This week may you be filled with a deeper understanding of who your Higher Power is and may you be drawn to his grace and mercy this week. May you be open to change and encouraged to step out of your comfort zone. May the freedom Christ gives to you, give you power through the trails and the storms that may pass. And from those experiences, may you find yourself expectant that a change is a coming.

In Jesus name.

Amen!

Thanks to:

- "Hope Again" by Charles R. Swindol

- Celebrate Recovery Leader's Guide and The Landing Leaders Guide

- Jesus

- Spiderman

- You tube and Pachebel's Canon

The Story Tree

2013-12-27T22:03:00.001-08:00

My husband and I were sipping tea and staring at our Christmas tree the other night.
"I love our tree." I said, and he nodded.
"It's the best tree yet." I think I've said that same line each and every year. To be honest, I've meant it each time too because each year we add a new story to our tree.
I love the way I can pick any ornament on it, and know the story behind it.
"That's Alora's hand when she was in kindergarten, she made a Santa face on her hand print."
"That's Kalina's feet and hands, turned into an angel."
"There's the angel my mother made us. Did you know, she's made each family member one of those?"
"Oh my, there's the star cookies the girls made 3 years ago. I don't think they're edible any more."
"There's the melted snow man ornament we made when we manned the table at the Breakfast with Santa at North Ridge Church last year."
I can go on. But, it would take a while to get through all the stories on that tree. The point I want to make here is... this tree is a story tree. My family's story tree. It's not made with bulk plastic ornaments made in China. It's real. Not a fake plastic tree with a pretty mask. It has a history, my family's history, and that's a beautiful thing.

As we wind down to the last days of this Christmas Season, we should reflect upon a story that we all share as family members under Christ. It's not a fake plastic story with a pretty mask. It's real, it's our family's history, and that's a beautiful thing.

The implications of the name Immanuel(God with us) are comforting...

Comforting, because He has come to share the danger

as well as the drudgery of our everyday lives.

He desires to weep with us

and to wipe away our tears.

And what seems most bizarre,

Jesus Christ, longs to share in and to be the source

of the laughter and the joy we all too rarely know.

Michael Card

Chickens, Pirates, Psalm 59 and Sanity

2013-07-18T00:36:00.000-07:00

Last month I taught a lesson at C.R.

"Don't you have to know something about a subject before you teach it?" my husband asked a week before I had to teach on the topic of sanity.

I post this for my family and friends, who couldn't make it that night. Yet, wondered how I ever put chicken's, pirates, and psalm 59 together for the topic of sanity.

Here you go. Let me know if it fits together?

Principle 2:

Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover.

"Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4

Step 2:

We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

"For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose." Philippians 2:13

S trength
A cceptance
N ew Life
I ntegrity
T rust
Y our Higher Power

Strength

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

When we begin to move from chaos to peace or insanity to sanity, there are gifts that come to us. The first one being strength. When we really believe that God exists, that we matter to Him, that He loves us, so much, that He died for us and that He has the power to help us recover. When we truly believe this with all our heart, all our soul, and all our mind, something changes inside of us. When we realize that we matter to our creator we begin to have purpose. Our simple screwed up lives actually begins to have meaning. We begin to slowly, step-by-step, receive strength to face the fears, that may have in the past, caused us to fight, flee or freeze.
God is our refuge and strength and with His help we begin to stop making the same poor choices again and again.

Acceptance

"Accept one and other, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." Romans 15:7

I'd like to share with you an excerpt from my journal, dated April 26th, 2013. It was a day that I had to clean out the chicken coop at the equine barn I work at.

I named this entry, "Chicken's Can Change".

I cried over a chicken today. It was dying. I hate chickens! They're stinky, mean and stupid creatures. So, why was I crying? Every time I walked into the coop, they pecked at me, the nasty beasts!

For years, I thought that one day I'd love to own some chickens. Fresh eggs every morning... yum. I don't think I want to own them anymore. I'll buy the darn eggs, thank-you very much!

Why was I crying over that vile disgusting thing?

I found the idiotic, fat, white chicken lying on it's side in one of the horse stalls, turned chicken coop. She was underneath the manger. Her roommates were pecking at her. Can you believe it? While she took her last breaths, her siblings were making it quite uncomfortable to die, pulling at her feathers, and biting chunks out of her skin. Evil Beasts!

I made a fresh bed of hay up in the manger, kicked away the little brutes, picked up the terminally ill chicken and placed her gently out of harms way. I hate to say it, and I'm a little embarrassed by it, but... I even prayed for her. I left fresh water and food close enough that she wouldn't need to get out of bed, in case of a healing. Then I cried as I finished cleaning the coop. Why was I crying?

Have you ever noticed how stupid chickens are? They just do the same thing over and over again. Nothing new or different in their behaviours, just the same thing, day in and day out. No changes. Not wanting to change, or knowledge that things can change for the better, just the same old, same old.

I'm told that's a sign of insanity.

I began to think about some of the people I know. A few in particular that show strong signs of perhaps being a chicken. They do the same thing over and over again and expecting the situation to change. Pecking at their love ones with their disrespectful words and/or behaviours. Drinking bad liquids and/or drugs that make them sick, day in and day out, their bad habits in control, and doing the same thing over and over again. Not listening to words of wisdom. Not listening to those who love them and want them to be the best that they can be, which is, I'm pretty sure not a chicken.

Then, I began to think of myself and my life. Wanting things to change around me, because at times, I'm unhappy, yet I'm doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result. When I don't speak up for myself, things won't change. When I put on the mask to hide my loneliness or disappointment in myself or those around me, depression sets in and things don't change. When I eat unhealthy foods, my body doesn't get healthy, and things don't change. If I'm too scared to step out of my comfort zone and don't venture out, things don't change.

I realized my attitude is everything. If I don't have the willingness to want to change for the better and the faith that God is there guiding me, I am stuck repeating the same unproductive cycle over and over again, just like those chickens. Then I knew, at times, I too was a chicken. I cried even harder. I cried for all those years when I did the same thing over and over again. Holding on to resentments, harbouring fear and dealing with it the same way over and over again. Wanting to change, knowing that things should have been better, but I was stupid. I didn't at that time know how to change it, and about a decade ago, in my loneliness and depression, I had thoughts of wanting to die. I was walking knee deep in poop and getting pecked on.

That's when Jesus walked into my dark and lonely life. He picked me up, put me in fresh safe surroundings, placed food for my soul all around me, and loved me. Then change came.

I don't hate chickens anymore. I don't agree with their lousy attitudes or their personalities, but apparently, I accept them for who they are. I smiled and wiped away the tears, because it was then that I realized... I had my Father's heart.
I may not have been able to save that particular chicken that day, but God gave me a glimpse into His heart and He saved me. I have the opportunity, you have the opportunity, to help Him save a few more chickens before we die.

We have the opportunity, right now, to accept our fellow chickens, as they are. We may not agree with what they do, but we can love them, just as God loves us. So, no more pecking, okay?

New Life

"We do not want you to be uninformed brothers about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But, this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raised the dead." 2 Corinthians 1:8-9

God leads us through renovations of our heart. You see, before there is room for new stuff, we have to throw out the old. That can be scary sometimes.
Even though we may know we are free, through Christ who sets us free. We are like this bird. Even though the cage is open, the bird is afraid to fly out. The shadow of the cage looms over the bird, just as the shadows of our hurts, habits and hang-ups may loom over us. The bird needs to fly and so do we.
New life is scary. How do we fly away from those old habits?

Let me ask you this...

What things in your life has power and control? What and who, in your life, do you give power and control to?
I struggle with worry. Worry about what other people think. Thoughts that I'm not good enough. I fear displeasing someone, because I need to please everyone, but, that's impossible. I give power and control to these thoughts sometimes and I rely on myself to find help. I forget, every now and then, that I believe in a God who raised the dead. He needs to have the power and control in order for new life to begin, right here, inside me. He clears out the old to make room for a new and improved version.... No longer stuck... One with wings... One who can fly.

"I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces." Psalm 34:4-6 (NIV)

Here's a different version of the same scripture:

"I asked the Lord for help, and He saved me from all my fears. Keep your eyes on the Lord! You will shine like the sun and never blush with shame. I was a nobody, but I prayed, and the Lord saved me from all my troubles." Psalm 34:4-6 (CEV)

Jesus offers us a solution to our fear of darkness; himself. The light of the world. The only light leading to a life worth living. Our hearts were designed like a rechargeable flashlight. We need to plug into Him every now and then. We also need to give Him the proper space, for the more room we provide Him within, the brighter we'll shine.

The greater we illuminate. The more darkness we can squelch! (5 minutes for Faith - Author Nikki).

When we are too discouraged and depressed, when we still hang on to fear, resentments, anger, frustrations, disappointments.... you name it... we are still living in the shadow of that cage.

God wants to breath new life in us. How are you going to respond?

Remember, the greater we illuminate. The more darkness we can squelch. Let's give Him the room.

Integrity

"I have no greater joy that to hear that my chickens.... oops sorry.... my children are walking in the truth." 3 John 4

When we begin to follow through on our promises, the result is that people will begin to trust us and trust what we have to say. If we lie, we show weakness and fear. The truth fears nothing except concealment. The truth hurts, but it's the lie that leaves a scar.

It's in the scars, lies and concealment's that we act out a little like Captain Hook perhaps?

(I then donned on a hook and a pirates hat and acted out this skit by Nicole Johnson and Woman of Faith)

Trust

"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." Proverbs 29:25

When we begin to choose peace over chaos or sanity over insanity. We begin to trust in our relationship with God and with others. These relationships are a very different quality than in our past associations and fair-weather friends whom we knew while we were active in our addictions and compulsions.
Here at C.R we have brothers and sisters in Christ, people who are willing to walk beside us on our journey, friends we can trust, with whom we can share and whose encouragement helps us mutually grow in Christ. Not one above the other. Together side by side becoming better people in Christ.

Your Higher Power

"But God shows His great love for us in this way; Christ died for us while we were still sinners." Romans 5:8 (NCV)

He loves us this much!

"God my strength, I am looking to you, because God is my defender. My God loves me, and He goes in front of me." Psalm 59: 9-10 (NCV)

God not only walks beside us, guiding us, but He also walks ahead. The path we walk is not so dark anymore. His light is ahead of us and beside us and within us.

We need His truth in our lives so we can make sane decisions to have peace... to fly. Without His truth we continue to stand in the shadow of the cage that we have built ourselves, and we continue to use our hook to peck at our fellow chickens. We need His truth to heal.

"Do the things that show you really have changed your hearts and lives." Matthew 3:8

It begins with a thought, this journey into sanity, but it doesn't stay there. God asks us to do the things that show you really have changed. He calls us into action. He is telling us to, "Love Him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. And second... love our neighbours as we love ourselves." (Mark 12:29-31).

From the deep well of a loving God, we are called to care about others, about their welfare, their physical bodies, their mental health, their comfort, and their joy.

This means no hooking or pecking!

It's a pretty radical command. But. it does interrupt our self-focus and self-centeredness. When we focus on Him and others, we begin to heal.

I'd like to leave you with a few words from the song "Redeemed".

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear you whisper, "Child lift up your head."
I remember, Oh, God, you're not done with me yet.

You are redeemed
He set you free
So shake off those heavy chains
Wipe away every stain
Stop fighting a fight, it's already been won
And know that you are not who you used to be.....

.... and fly!

Thanks to:
- You tube - for Nicole Johnson video clip and 'Redeemed' video clip
- Woman of Faith - NCV Bible and Nicole Johnson's 'Captain Hook' skit
- 5 minute for faith
- C.R Leadership guide
- The Chickens at Evergreen Stables

Awkwardly Bold!

2013-06-18T00:26:00.000-07:00

Caution: PG - Some adult content. The word sex is mentioned but no description. A great big awkward moment follows.

"You're going to have sex in the car with Rene?" Not only was my good friend blind, but I now knew she was also deaf. We were standing in the parking lot at the Ikea in Coquitlam and I wasn't sure if she yelled this out to embarrass me or if she truly did not hear me. It did make me blush a little and I felt a little awkward as well. The D4N's ladies had gone to do a little shopping at Ikea that morning for a desk and as we got out of the car and headed towards the entrance, I had a bold and crazy idea.
"I'm going to leave a sexy note on Rene's car." This is what I actually said. For those who don't know, Rene is my husband and has been for 23 years, this October, and he also happens to work at Ikea. So, it wasn't a random person that I was trying to be bold with that day.

That morning I had fallen off the curb after I waved goodbye to the kids. Another Mom and I share the commute to school, it was her turn that morning, and as I turned to go back into the house, I took a wrong step and fell to my knees.
"Do you want to come with Krista and I to Ikea?" I was nursing my wound when I got the call from Tamara.
"I would love to!" Yes, I, a Mom of 46 years of age had a scraped knee and I was feeling sorry for myself, it really hurt and there was a lot of blood. So, I jumped (not physically because of my Boo Boo) at the chance to get my mind off the pain and to hang out with these wonderful ladies that I have missed a lot. Being that caregiving is one of the many hats I wear on any given day, I bandaged the knee and off I went. We talked, ate, laughed, drank coffee, and shopped. I felt 100 times better.

In order for you to fully understand why I wrote that bold note to my husband, I need to tell you that I am a very shy person, and have been that way for double the amount of years that I've been married. I've been trying to come out of my shell, and I thought a sexy note for my husband would be one step in the right direction. He has asked me to be bolder. So, as I walked around the parking facility trying to find the car, I wrote. I went up the stairs where he usually parks but no car, they were doing reno's up there. Then I went down the stairs. You have to remember I was wounded, so I hopped a bit and my hand writing wasn't my best. The words, I'm sure weren't my best either. It was after all a rush job. But I was as giddy as a school girl just trying to think up vibrant words to catch his attention. I didn't want the note to be in poor taste after all. It still needed to be respectful.

Rene didn't know I was coming to Ikea. He would be so surprised... or so I thought.

"LP was following you around Ikea today." Rene said as I walked in the door to our home. He had left work before we had finished shopping. LP stands for Loss Prevention, it's the Ikea in house security.
"What?" I asked. He reached for me, and hugged me. His eyes looked strange, and he swallowed.
"I didn't recognize the hand writing on the note, so I took it to LP to see who left it there," his face was contorted into an embarrassed half smile, "they followed you all over the parking lot."
"I was trying to find your car!"
"You were walking funny. I didn't recognize you on the video."
"I fell."
"Then I finally recognized your purse."
"The green one?"
"Yeah, the ugly one."
"Did you show them the note?"
He grimaced and nodded his head and hugged me. Then we laughed.

Being bold with your partner is a good thing, and I know God wants us to be bold in life towards others, as well. To love people boldly, can be filled with some very awkward moments sometimes. We shouldn't be afraid of those awkward moments, because then we would miss out on all those great moments, if we were too scared to be bold.

Here's a link to a book in the Bible called the Song of songs. It's pretty risque and bold. A story of two lovers, that I thought may be appropriate for your further research, on the subject of this awkwardly bold tale I have spun for you. I think you'll be able to handle it. Who knows? Maybe you too will find an urge to be bold!

I'm going to be bold once more, right now, and ask you to join me this Tuesday June 18th, 2013 at 6pm. Where? MRBC in Maple Ridge. I am teaching a lesson at Celebrate Recovery and I'll be talking about chickens, pirates and Psalm 59. FYI - It's a lesson on sanity. :) Not Awkward at all!

Be bold this week!

Love,
Anuschka

Thanks to:
- Hebrew World for the image from song of songs.
- LP coworkers at Ikea Coquitlam for helping my husband recognize his wife.
- Bible Gateway for the NIV version of Song of songs.
- MRBC for their open arms around CR.

Fast Curve Balls and Being Late

2013-05-26T20:37:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time in a far away land there lived a Mom and Dad with two teenage daughters who liked to sleep and not talk.
One day they had a guest who came from the far, far, far away land of Quebec. She was twinned to the youngest of the sleepy and un-talkative teens in an exchange program called SEVAC.
They had lots of fun together with the french immersion grade 7 class, from here, and the English immersion grade 7 class, from there.
They hiked mountain tops, swam in lakes, kayaked across great distances, shopped and ate spaghetti together. It was an amazing time.
On the last day, the Mom wanted to make a really special breakfast for the girls. Since the girls didn't have to be at school until 9:15am, the Mom thought she would have plenty of time to prepare a special send-off meal. She got up early and put bacon in the oven. She heated up some biscuits and began to scramble the eggs.

"I wonder what time it is?" She thought to herself as she whipped the whisk in the bowl, just like June Cleaver would have done it on 'Leave it to Beaver', and she looked at the clock. "7:20am, Oh, they still have lots of time! But I should call them down now just in case things still needed to be packed for the long trip back to Quebec." Then she climbed up the stairs and knocked on the doors.
"Breakfast is almost ready! Come on down." Then she went back downstairs to the kitchen to cook the eggs. She wanted to make sure the exchange student had her belly full before the long trip home to the far, far, far away land of Quebec.
At 7:35am the exchange student was the first to walk into the kitchen. She seemed a little confused and began to point to her watch.
"We mussst bee... uh... hat school hat 7:45," she said in her cute french accent.
"No dear, 9:15. You still have lots of time," and she showed the girl the time on the official letter from the school.
"Ah, no," she said shyly, and then very quietly, "de flight time was changed, our teachers told us." The Mom panicked, not like June Cleaver, and ran up the stairs to double check with her daughter. Perhaps there was a mis-communication in language? She hoped.
"DID THE TIME CHANGE?" the Mom yelled above her daughter, who was still fast asleep, and shocked the sleepy girl into consciousness.
"What?" the daughters eyes were half closed as she sat up slowly.
"Did the flight time change for your twin?" The Mom paced nervously beside the bed.
"Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you. We have to be at the school at 7:45am."
"IT'S 7:40!"
"What!" the daughter bolted out of bed and got dressed in a flurry of chaos as the Mom ran back downstairs, grabbed the lunch she made for the Quebec student, and made sure she put it in her bag. The bag was quickly weighed and set at the front door. Then, the school van arrived at 7:50am, perhaps there were a few more parents who didn't receive the news on time?
"I'm late!" the daughter said and just the like the rabbit out of Alice in Wonderland, she darted down the stairs, through the hall and out the door to the awaiting van.
"At least I packed an extra sandwich for the long haul home to Quebec." The Mom thought as she watch the van, with her children and the exchange student in it, drive away. She turned back to the kitchen to clean up the untouched cold breakfast.
"My daughter has no lunch!" the Mom realized, and briefly toyed with the idea of bringing her daughter a lunch, but then changed her mind, "She has to learn!" that would be the consequences of the daughters forgetfulness, and the Mom hoped, that this forced fasting would help in future communications.

Sometimes life throws you a blind curve ball right out of nowhere. Well, it had to have come from somewhere, didn't it? But you just weren't looking in that direction. The Mom certainly didn't expect the time change, but the daughter knew. Yet, chaos happened, even in the best of intentions.
How do you prepare for something that seemingly pops out of nowhere? How do we deal with it when it happens accompanied by lots of chaos? And how do we not become anxious and let go of sanity?

Everyrhing has a reason we are told. But, if everything happens for a reason, why didn't the little french girl get her breakfast? And what purpose could God possibly have for not letting her have breakfast? Was it a life lesson in patience for the Mom? A lesson in communication for the daughter? Or was it just a confirmation to the french girl, that all English people are weird and her grandfather was right all along?
I must admit, there are somethings in life that I just don't get. I don't understand why they happen and I just don't see the logic of it. But, I'm told I need to trust. You see if I don't trust. I'm going to start looking like that bunny, hopping all over the place anxiously, and on the verge of a heart attack, all day and every day.

There are somethings that I am in control over, but then at any given moment, that control can be taken away at the blink of an eye. If I fear losing control, I will be anxious all the time... even in those moments that I am in control and have no reason to be uneasy. This is no way to live. Under stress all the time. This sure isn't the way God created us to live.
When life gets chaotic He wants us to turn to Him. We need to trust Him. Sometimes, He's going to ask us to take a rest, and sometimes He's going to ask us to step up to the plate and hit that curve ball right out of the park. With courage and strength... not stress.

Remember, Mr. W. Rabbit did eventually get to his destination, but he was one big furry ball of stress all along his journey.

It doesn't have to be that way.

May you find His peace in the chaos!

Love,
Anuschka

Gratitude

2013-03-13T07:48:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

Last Tuesday I taught on 'Gratitude' at Celebrate Recovery. A few people came up to me and asked for the poem, some others asked what scriptures I used from the teaching, and some, like my parents, were unable to make it that evening.

Here it is... take what you need from it and enjoy.

The teaching began with a video from the CR teen program 'The Landing' called 'Thank You God':

I was all dressed up in office clothes, the way I used to look, when I went to work downtown many moons ago. As I spoke, I replaced those clothes one by one with the clothes I wear to work now (Rubber boots, Sudbury dinner jacket, toque and gloves). There was a reason for it... keep reading to the end... the answer lies there.

"Those who mutter, miss what matters!" I began with a quote (from Pastor Rob at North Ridge when he spoke on "Search and Rescue Training" a few weeks ago, see here to listen to that sermon). Then I continued with a poem by an unknown author. A friend of mine gave me this poem, when we were teenagers, and I've kept it all these years.

Forgive Me When I Whine

Today upon a bus, I saw a lovely girl with golden hair,

I envied her, she seemed so gay and wished I was so fair.

When suddenly she rose to leave, she hobbled down the isle,

She had one leg and wore a crutch, but as she passed a smile.

Oh God forgive me when I whine, I have two legs, the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy, the lad who sold it had such charm.

I talked with him, he seemed so glad, if I were late, it'll do no harm.

And as I left, he said to me "Thank-you, you have been so kind.

It's nice to talk with folks like you, because you see, I'm blind."

Oh God forgive me when I whine, I have two eyes, the world is mine.

Later, while walking down the street, I saw a child with eyes of blue.

He stood and watched the others play, he did not know what to do.

I stopped a moment and then I said, "Why don't you join the others dear?"

He looked ahead without a word and then I knew he couldn't hear.

Oh God forgive me when I whine, I have two ears the world is mine.

With feet to take me where to go

With eyes to see the sunset glow

With ears to hear what I should know

Oh God forgive me when I whine, I'm blessed indeed!

The world is mine.

Author Unknown

Principle 7:

We need to reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for our life and to gain the power to follow His will.

Colossians 3:16 (NIV)

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.

or another translation (NCV) says:

Let the teaching of Christ live in you richly.

What does this look like for you? We all have very busy schedules, and I know it's hard to take some time, daily, to spend time with God. But how does spending time in Gods word, help us to see things a little differently than we normally would?

Let's take a look at His word and see:

Psalm 119:129-130 (NCV)

Your rules are wonderful,

that's why I keep them.

Learning your words give wisdom,

and understanding for the foolish.

Taking the time out of our busy schedule to be with God helps us to focus on what He needs us to do, to become the person He created us to be.

Step 11:

We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and power to carry that out.

So what is prayer and meditation? Are they both the same thing?

When I first started on this journey of healing, I thought prayer and meditation meant the same thing, but they don't.

Prayer = talking to God

Meditation = listening to God

You are Gods handiwork, His creation.

How do you know what you were made for unless you have a relationship with your creator? He has your owners manual and He would love to talk to you about the operating procedures.

I'd like us to focus our prayers of gratitude in four area's of our life:

1) Towards God

2) Towards Others

3) Towards our Recovery

4) Towards our Church

(This is where I took off my shoes and replaced them with very muddy bog boots).

I like to do things backwards sometimes, so I began with 'the church'. Save the best for last!

"I must admit," I said, "I have had a tough time with the church. And there were times that I just didn't see the importance of 'the church'." I am an introvert, and I feel very awkward in social settings, always have. It's uncomfortable, and when things 'feel' uncomfortable, as a co-dependent, I avoid it.

It seems a few people 2000 years ago, felt the same as I do, because in Hebrews 10:25 it says,"Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another."

How can I find encouragement or give encouragement if I am avoiding?

God has given each of us great gifts - each of us different and unique for a reason. Each of us is a different part of the body of Christ. A finger doesn't work by itself, it's part of a hand, attached to an arm, etc...

We are mediocre at best on our own, but we are great when we are together with the body of Christ. We need each other, it's how we were made.

We need to be thankful for the role of the church in our lives, because it's a place where we can find a safe environment that offers encouragement, love and acceptance.

(This was where I took off my Office Jacket and put on my Sudbury Dinner Jacket).

Next, is to be thankful for our recovery.

Hebrews 12:1(NCV)

We are surrounded by a great cloud of people whose lives tell us what faith means. So let us run the race that is before us and never give up. We should remove from our lives anything that would get in the way and the sin that so easily holds us back.

Let us be grateful for those people here at Celebrate Recovery who have reached out and encouraged us... loved us, unconditionally without judgement.

Let us be grateful for the progress we've made since we first started healing from our hurts, habits and hang-ups.

There may have been times along this road of recovery when we have fallen and taken a step back. But, we got back on our feet and started walking on that road of healing again. We didn't give up. Be grateful for that. We are still on our feet... running that race and moving forward!

(This was when I put on my toque).

Next, is to be thankful for others.

Colossians 3:15-16 (NCV)

Let the peace that Christ gives control your thinking because you were all created together in one body to have peace. Always be thankful. Let the teaching of Christ live in you richly. Use all wisdom to teach and instruct each other by singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

I am guilty for taking people for granted and I am guilty for not appreciating them as I should have.

We need to be grateful to others. Those special people who walked along side of us on our road to recovery. Those who have loved us, taught us and counseled us. Without these people in our lives, life would get pretty cold out there, disoriented and lonely. With out others we could possibly find ourselves... lost.

I was going to show this video next, for a little lighthearted look at why it's important to be a part of a small group. However, I couldn't find it on the CR "The Landing" programing and I didn't have enough time to download from the Skit Guys site to the CR media on time for last Tuesday. I found it on YouTube. Enjoy!

Did you know that prayer, reading our Bibles, having help and encouragement from others, and telling our stories can help us avoid the mistake of slipping back into what we feel is more comfortable? In other words... a relapse.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18(NCV)

Always be joyful. Pray continually, and give thanks whatever happens. That is what God wants for you in Christ Jesus."

In my Women Of Faith Bible, one of the writer's paraphrased this scripture and I wanted to share that with you.

Be joyful always, even when you do not feel like it. Pray continually, never stop; and keep seeking God's heart and direction. Thank Him in the good, the bad, and even the ugly. Give thanks no matter what happens.

How is it possible to give thanks in all circumstances?

Does God want us to give thanks even in the middle of bad situations? How do we do that?

There have been times, in my life, when I have found it very difficult to be grateful to God. There have been times within the last 6 months, where I have not been joyful... even if I didn't feel like it.

- This summer I almost burned my house down, see my Wild West Diaries entry, "Casa del pollo fuego".

- I had ants in my kitchen, in Biblical proportions. For more on that story, you can read it here.

- We had slashed tires.

- My youngest daughter suffered from migraines.

- I have had issues with arthritis.

- Financial issues.

And finally, I went from Accounts Receivables Clerk for Transat Holiday and Nolitours - staying at 5 star all inclusive hotels.... to... Poop shoveler at a horse/riding stables.

(Then I pointed at my old clothes, laying on a chair beside me).

"How did I get from that... to this?" I pointed to my barn clothes on me, "and why in the world would God allow that to happen?"

Those questions and more raced through my mind last Wednesday after a Appaloosa Pony named Prancer kicked me. Later that day as I nursed the horse shoe imprint on my upper thigh, I questioned why? Why am I here... in this place of my life... at 46 years of age. And I cried. Not because of the black and blue hoof print, but because I felt defeated. I was unhappy.

"How am I supposed to speak on gratitude next week?" I thought to myself. I had the phone in my hand to contact Carol and Barry (The Leaders of CR), and to tell them, I couldn't do it. Then my daughter came home from school. She gave me a hug... then backed off with a look of disgust and said, "Mom, you stink!" Shoveling poop does that to a person. I put the phone down and went to take a shower.

I thought back to my office days and I slowly began to remember how unhappy I was back then. I left the house at 6AM and wasn't back until 7:30PM. I missed my girls. There were mornings when I would cry all the way to the train station. There were days , especially when the kids were sick, that I couldn't focus and concentrate on my job. I just wanted to be home with my girls.

Then I realized something... I may stink... but my kids can hug me when they get home from school. I am there in the morning for them and I am there in the afternoon and evening.

This is the reason why I can say, "Thank-you God!"

But wait there's more...

I took a look back into my old journals and I found something I'd like to share with you.

02nd April, 2008

...if I could do anything with my life? What would that look like? I would write stories, and tell stories like you did Lord. I want to inspire people to be who you created them to be.

Guess what? Today I write 4 blogs:

- Heart to Heart with Mary and Martha

- Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

- Wild West Diaries

- Deeds For Needs (as of today has had 18, 307 page views. My first post called "Too Busy" in Oct 2009 only had 2 page views).

This is the reason why I can say, "Thank-you God!"

But wait there's more...

I also wrote back in 2008, that I wanted to teach kids. I wanted to build up their self-confidence, so they would become strong leaders in their communities. To teach them, that no matter how tough life gets... they are loved.

This is what I wrote:

Just watched my neighbour throwing her daughter up in the air. She's having a blast - both of them are.

I remembered when our girls were that age and the trust they had in us. Remembering the joy as we threw them up in the air. They trusted Rene and I to catch them, and we did, each and every time. They were able to let go and enjoy the moment.

When during their lives into adulthood do they stop trusting us and begin to question? Worries and fear slither and worm there way into our children's lives and they follow in our footsteps. Become addicted to alcohol, drugs, approval or bling... or worse yet, they become depressed and suicidal.

How do we prevent this from happening to our children?

What happened? We stopped trusting our father's... we stopped trusting God.

God has put me in a position at Celebrate Recovery to be a leader of children. I am the children's leader and every Tuesday night I teach the same things their parents are learning that night. I plant God's seeds to teach them that they do not have to follow in their parents footsteps. There are other ways to deal with their hurts, habits and hang-ups.

This is the reason why I can say, "Thank-you God!"

But wait... there's more...

Back then I wrote:

I just went to a Women of Faith Conference. It was amazing! I heard God speak to me as Nicole Johnson did a skit and spoke up on stage. He said to me, "This is what I want you to do Anuschka."

Now, it may not have been a Women of Faith Conference... but last Tuesday I was up on stage speaking. For a very shy person, who used to hate making eye contact with people... well...

This is the reason why I can say, "Thank-you God!"

But wait... there's more...

I just read an article about Child Psychology and Newfoundland dogs. The therapist writing the article explained how for months he couldn't get through to this young boy who had been mentally and physically abused for years. His neighbour was a Newfoundland breeder and some of his dogs were trained therapy dogs. The therapist brought one of the dogs to work with him and within five minutes the boy opened up and began his journey of healing.

Lord, I want to bring animals and kids together in a place where they can learn, grow, and heal together. Where animals that have been abused and kids that are hurting can come together in a safe, loving place of healing. Where kids learn to take care of something, learn to teach, learn to become pack-leaders and learn to love. Helping animals to heal as they heal.

Huh?

(Then I pointed to the old me... on the chair beside me).

That self over there, was mostly depressed.

That self over there put on a lot of masks to hide behind, because she was afraid all the time,

That self over there, wasn't genuine.

That self over there, would never have been able to handle an ornery horse who kicked, let alone and angry child who's been abused and is kicking and screaming to be loved.

Guess What!

1. I am home with my children

2. I am writing stories

3. I am leading kids

4. I am learning a lot about animals, barn management, and being a pack-leader... because, isn't that what I wanted to teach the kids?

I am exactly in the place where God wants me to be.

This is the reason why I can say, "Thank-you God!"

(This was where I got a harness and a rope out of the bag).

We humans have such a limited view, as to how our dreams come true.

(This was where I clicked my tongue as if I were calling a horse in. My dog Angel came in and up on stage with me).

"So, how many of you thought a horse was coming through that door?" I asked.

God brings things into our lives that are unexpected. Following God does that. We have a limited view and God is full of surprises. But what He does bring onto our path is good.

"Angel here, is a well-behaved, and obedient dog, who is very focused on her pack-leaders". Lucky for me, although Angel was nervous last Tuesday she did behave on stage.

"I am one of Angel's pack-leaders. I love her. I treat her well. I lead her. I teach her. Guess what? God loves you way more than I love my dog. he loves you unconditionally, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can not earn His love... it is there, always.

Isn't that something to be thankful for?

So what are you focused on?

The world? It's problems? Your problems? Or a God who is there to love you, to teach you and to lead you out of the dark places along your path?

Then I ended with Paul's prayer to the Philippians:

Philippians 1:9-11(NCV)

This is my prayer for you, that your love will grow more and more; that you will have knowledge and understanding with your love; that you will see the difference between good and bad and you will choose the good; that you will be pure and without wrong for the coming of Christ; that you will be filled with the good things produced in your life by Christ to bring glory and praise to God.

That's when the Celebration Station kids came up with Barry and they sang, "You Lead" by Jamie Grace.

Thanks to:

- God

- Everyone who is a part of this journey with me

- Angel my dog and Rene my husband for bringing her

- The Kids, Barry and Lorne at CR

- Prancer and the barn

- You Tube

- Skit Guys

- The Landing Programs

- Celebration Station Programs

- Celebrate Recovery Leader's Guide and Bible (NIV)

- Jamie Grace "You Lead"

- Woman of Faith Bible (NCV)

- The Unknown Poet
- Pastor Rob and my family at North Ridge

Can You Hear it?

2013-01-22T00:51:00.000-08:00

I got a book last month for Christmas, from my daughter. It's called "Where There is Love There is God" by Mother Teresa. I was reading it in bed a few weeks ago and the strangest thing happened. I could hear my heart beat through my pillow.
The pulse in my neck moved the lower lobe of my ear gently on the pillow. That rubbing motion caused the sound. I don't know about you, but I've never heard my heart beat without a stethoscope before.
I began to experiment a little and I noticed when I applied more pressure and leaned into the pillow a little harder the sound disappeared. I tried to get that perfect angle of neck and ear lobe again, but couldn't find it, and I never heard my heart beat again that evening.
Then a thought appeared. I realized that as of late, I have been walking around with a lot of pressure in my life. Finances, job search, kids, household, family, etc...

Pressure enough to put pain in my chest.
Pressure enough to harden my heart.

Then that still small voice revealed, "You carry the worlds pressures around. Let them Go. Give them to me."

When the world's pressures get too big, I don't hear God's voice, and I don't hear what He wants me to do next.

I want to share with you what I was reading that night in Mother Teresa's book:

Something Beautiful for God
This love that we have for our people is a gift, for Jesus said, "Whatever you do to the least of my brothers, you did it to me." We are with the least all the time. When you give a glass of water, you give it to Jesus. He claims it.... I remember last time we picked up one man from the street; he was full of worms. I asked one sister, "How can he go to heaven like that?" We started pulling the worms out one by one. We removed everything.
I asked him, "Do you want God's blessing by which your sins are forgiven?" Something came out, sunshine, perfect joy. Something spiritual happened to him and after 15 minutes he died, without worms. One beautiful thing: no complaints, no words, he accepted. You could see his pain, but not a sound of complaint.
Pray that we may not spoil God's work - to help people to remove their worms.

God spoke to me that evening, through the pillow and through Mother Teresa's words. Sometimes, God works that way. Now, I may not be called to remove physical worms from individuals, but I am called to help Him remove the darkness. I can't do that when I'm under pressure, when I don't let go.

God is at work to bring His glory, His beauty back into the world. We are called to help Him.

John 1:4-5 (NCV)
"In him there was life, and that life was the light of all people. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overpowered it."

If you'd like to learn more about hearing God, here are a few links:

Sermon "Hearing God" by David Jonsson North Ridge Church

Sermon "Surprise Beginnings" by Rob Buzza North Ridge Church

Book by Loren Cunningham "Is that really you God?"

Thanks to:
- The devotional Bible for Women - Women of Faith.
- The book "Where there is love, There is God" - Mother Teresa.
- North Ridge for the sermons... Thanks Rob and David for sharing.
- bookjem.com for the photo.

Forgiveness

2013-01-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

Last month I was privileged to teach the lesson of 'Forgiveness' at a Celebrate Recovery evening at MRBC. There were some people who weren't able to make it that evening. They really wanted to be there, but due to sickness were unable to attend, and there were others who were there and asked if I could send them my notes.

For those who asked, here is the teaching from that evening.

I began with a skit on what it looks like when we live in an unforgiven state. Although, I don't have a video of me doing that skit, I have found the skit on YouTube.

This skit may have caused some tension or discomfort in some of you. I know it made me feel quite uncomfortable the 1st time I saw it.

The purpose of it was to give you a visual of what unforgiveness looks like. Over time, I have come to realize that it's in these uncomfortable moments that God makes real change occur; and sometimes we need discomfort to get deep within to find who He created us to be.

Unforgiveness binds us up. However, even though we are bound, we can still put up a facade. We can make ourselves 'look' pretty in dark times (this is where I had Krista wrap Christmas garland around me).

We put on a smile, even when we want to cry.
We say, "I'm fine," even when we are angry.
We may 'look' pretty on the outside, but we're still very much tied up underneath.

FORGIVENESS

Principle 6 says, "We must evaluate all our relationships. Offer forgiveness to all who have hurt us and make amends for harm we have done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others."

"Happy are the merciful" (Matt 5:7)

"Happy are the peacemakers" (Matt 5:9)

Step 8 says, "We need to make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amends."

"Do to others as you would have them do to you." (Luke 6:31)

Step 9 says, "We need to make amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the alter and remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the alter. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift." (Matt 5:23-24)

Tonight I'll be talking about 3 different kinds of forgiveness:

1) The forgiveness that God extends to us.

2) The forgiveness that we extend to those who have hurt us.

3) The forgiveness we must ask others whom we have hurt and to forgive ourselves.

I'd like to share with you a quote by John Baker, that I read as I prepared for tonight. He said, "If God wasn't willing to forgive, heaven would be empty." I thought about how empty my life would be if I didn't forgive those who have hurt me.

Forgiveness is letting go.

If I hold on to pain

If I hold on to anger

If I hold on to resentments

If I hold on to disappointments in myself/in others

I stay tied up on the inside and on the outside. You see when I'm tied up in unforgiveness, my hands are bound. They can't reach out to others. I'm stuck. I'm alone. I'm lonely, and I make more pain for myself.

If we want to be completely free from resentments, anger, fear, shame and guilt we need to give and accept forgiveness in all areas of our lives. If we don't our recovery will be stalled and incomplete.

It would be like swimming in a mud puddle. Even though clear raindrops are falling on you, like little seeds of light and hope. You are still choosing to swim around in the mud, instead of choosing to swim to shore and walking out.

How do we get out of the mud?

By choosing to get out!

I've spoken with the kids at Celebration Station on the challenges of forgiveness. One of our lessons in our curriculum was to make a list of all the people who have hurt us since our birth. My list was longer than theirs. Go figure?

We went through the list and crossed off all the people we already forgave, except the ones where we said, "Yeah, I forgive, but..." You see, when there's a 'but' attached, you haven't truly forgiven them.

Then we took a look at Luke 7:44-47.

"Then Jesus turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? When I came into your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she washed my feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. You gave me no kiss of greeting, but she has been kissing my feet since I came in. You did not put oil on my head, but she poured perfume on my feet. I tell you that her many sins are forgiven, so she showed great love. But the person who is forgiven only a little will love only a little."

Simon didn't give his ALL. He held back. He had little love. The woman gave everything she had, her ALL. She showed Jesus great love.

It's about attitude. Our humble and honest attitude. When we hold up walls around our hearts. When we're all tied up, we don't give our ALL. We don't show great love.

Jesus tells us that our scattered bits and pieces are just not sufficient.

Forgive with our whole being

Love with our whole being

Otherwise, we end up with only a little

Sometimes, the problem with "giving it our all", when it comes to forgiveness, is because we are addicted to feeling good, and we may think that everything needs to 'feel good' in order to do it.

"I know I've got to forgive, but it hurts! I don't feel like it."

This type of attitude binds us up.

"We need to do, what we know we should do even when we don't feel like it!"

Joyce Meyers

Loving the people who have hurt us unconditionally is a very big challenge, but God commands us to do it.

"Which is the most important command?" Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. This is the greatest commandment. The second most important is similar. Love your neighbour as much as you love yourself." (Matt 22:36-40)

But... How can we love and forgive others if we don't love and forgive ourselves?

No matter how unloved or worthless you may feel about yourself, did you know that God loves you? He made us in His image. He doesn't create junk! Your feelings about yourself does not change His love for you. He has already forgiven you, way before you were even born.

It's up to you to accept it or not. You have a choice.

Now, self forgiveness is not a matter of assigning the blame to someone else and letting yourself off the hook. It's not a licence for irresponsibility either. It's just an acknowledgement that you are human like everyone else and that you've reached a stage in your life where you are able to give yourself greater respect.

When you forgive yourself and others, you won't change your past, but you will change your future. God will enable us to do what He has called us to do. Remember that He has forgiven us first and He asks us to follow Him into freedom.

This path is a difficult one and sometimes it won't 'feel' good and there will be times on this road of forgiveness where we will need to stop and ask someone we trust for some help. Sometimes we will need to ask them to untie us (this was where I asked Krista to help me out of the straight jacket).

Forgiving sets us free.

Isaiah 1:18-19 shows us what God wants to do with the darkness in our lives.

"Come, let's talk this over! says the Lord; no matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can take it out and make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you white as wool! If you will only let me help you."

Becoming un-bound not only leaves our hands free to reach out to others, but it also frees us to accept the gift of a helping hand and God's gift of mercy.

There's a song by the sidewalk prophets that recently came out and it made a great impact on me. The chorus goes;

I am the thorn in your crown

I am the sweat from your brow

I am the nail in your wrist

Yes, I am Judas' kiss

Each of us, in our own ways, have taken this beautiful gift of life and at times have turned it into something ugly.

We are the thorn in God's life - When we react with fear, bitterness and resentment.

We are the sweat on God's brow - When we run around in circles, doing the same thing over and over again. Staying tied up, not learning, not trusting. Swimming in the mud.

We are the nail in God's wrist - When we react with anger and violence.

We are Judas' kiss - When betray, when we lie.

We are all these things to God when we don't live our lives for what He created us for. But, you see, the song doesn't end there:

But you love me anyways

It's like nothing in life that I've ever known

Yes, you love me anyway

Oh, Lord, how you love me, how you love me

God knew his creation would disappoint Him, but he had a plan. Because He loves us anyways, He sent us a great gift. The gift of His son, to teach us, to heal us and to save us. This gift comes freely. He just asks us to love Him, to trust Him and He asks us to love like Him; no matter what pain we may have caused others/ourselves or what pain they have caused us.

Mercy means getting something we don't deserve. Mercy is the gift God 1st gave us.

As we head into Christmas this week, as we celebrate the birth of God's son, I pray that you find yourself unbound and reaching out to give others the gift that God 1st gave us.

Give mercy to those who have hurt you.

Give forgiveness and "love them anyways".

Thanks to:

YouTube for both videos

Sidewalk Prophets "You love me anyways"

Pastor ddromberger "Forgiveness" skit

Joyce Meyer for the quote

John Baker and the Celebrate Recovery leader's Guide and Celebration Station curriculum

Why Don't I Get Any Reception?

2013-01-08T21:33:00.000-08:00

"Hello?"
"Heeelllooo?"
"HELLOOOO?"
"Great! No reception."

Has this ever happened to you? You take a step into another room and your call gets dropped or you can't even make a call because there's just no cell reception?
Physically, this happens to us all the time, but what about spiritually? Did you ever feel disconnected from God? I have and it's not pleasant. So, why do we lose reception? Is it Gods fault for not building enough towers, therefore causing poor reception? Or is it our fault for not having the proper equipment (or the proper attitude) to take His call?

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for Him!" (NIV)
Isaiah 30:18

Some versions say that "The Lord God is waiting to show you how kind He is"... and that, "... blessed are all those who trust or long for Him."
So, if I understand this correctly, he is not pushing his calls on us, and he doesn't work in a busy call centre, selling himself and his products around dinner time. He's waiting for us to call him, the line is open, He is waiting... we have to make the first move to trust him.

So, what if you do trust? What if you have prayed and you are still having difficulties with the connection? What then?

Maybe we're a little crabby and need an attitude adjustment? Maybe we're a little rusty and can't remember how to call on Him? Maybe we're too far away? Too self focused and can't hear anyone else, just our own voice? Whatever the reason, we need to make the adjustment, because Gods line is always open.

"And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,”
Isaiah 30:21

What do I want to be when I grow up?

2012-10-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from the book 'Holes In My Gas Tank'

It’s funny how you know at a very young age what you should become when you grow up. Does God instill that passion, or is it part of our DNA make-up?

I loved getting dressed up in costume and putting on plays or ‘Shows’ for my parents and their friends at dinner parties. The rest of the cast (kids) and I would arrange a story to tell; get dressed in mom and dads old clothes then act out our story on a make believe stage.

Grade school was similar, my friends and classmates and I would write out plays, practice and then act them out in front of the class. I loved going to school because of this, until second grade.

A horrible thing happened to me and the incident became the downfall of my acting career. I know, grade two may seem a little young to think about a career change, or a career for that matter, but in the course of a few months, a deep sense of shame was thrust upon me that second year of grade school, and my first reaction was to run. I ran and gave up on my dream.

I portrayed the head of the household, a.k.a. father, in our little play at school and my friend was the family dog. Our Teacher loved the play so much that she asked us to perform it on the Big Stage for the rest of the school at the next assembly.

Tensions were high among my fellow actors; nerves were drawn tight that fateful morning of our début.

“What was my line again?” the dog asked.

“You don’t have any, stupid! You’re the DOG!” my fellow patriot in the arts cried out. She was practicing and getting into ‘character’ for her maternal portrayal of the lady pack leader and mother.

It was organized chaos behind the curtain before our first scene. A hush fell among the artists as the curtain slowly opened. There was a momentary pause and then the scene began. The first half of the show went well. We all knew it. A pride set in. Perhaps we got a little cocky? That’s why the second act went awry. We got sloppy.

Scene 2, second act; the dog had to jump up onto the pack leader. That happened to be me. I wasn’t paying attention. I was looking out into the crowd. Looking for the familiar faces of my friends. Looking for approval.

I saw her, the dog, come at me from the corner of my eye. I saw her too late! She couldn’t slow down. I was supposed to catch her. She lost her footing. She was about to fall off the stage when she grabbed me. She took a hold of my stretchy 1972 polyester elasticized pants when she went down. There was no belt to hold up my pants. There were no suspenders to keep them up. The dog fell, so did my pants, in front of the whole school. I never acted again, until recently, 30 years later.

There’s a movie called ‘The Bucket List’. I made myself a list like that after my Uncle died a few years ago. On this list was to take an Acting class. I did and I LOVED IT. It felt as if I were finally doing what God created me to do. This was who I was, what I was meant to do all along. Write and Act. It was a revelation. How does an accounts receivables technician for the past 13 years just drop everything and take up this passion? It’s illogical to drop all and hit the thespian road. I couldn’t do it. Not yet. Money Honey. It’s what pays the bills and puts food on the table.

“Sometimes you need to leap,” Krista, my friend advised, “You need to show God You are willing to move towards being obedient to him.”

“I can’t,” I replied, “Don’t throw away the old pair of shoes before you buy a new pair.” My parents instilled this into my being.

“I can’t just quit my job and start writing. It’s absurd!”

“You’ve got to trust.”

“I don’t even know for sure it’s what God wants. What if it’s just what I want?” I knew that statement wasn’t true. Deep in my heart I knew God wanted me to write and inspire other women and help children.

I was at a Women of Faith Conference in Vancouver when God told me what he wanted of me. I gave my life, again, to Christ there. In the midst of these hundreds of women praying and loving, unconditionally, I found Him again. And as I watched Nicole Johnson, doing a skit on stage, Gods told me, “That is what I want you to do.”

What I told my friend and sister in Christ was a lie, I did know what God wanted of me but I was stalling. Fear held me captive; she knew it too.

“Jump Anuschka, He will catch you.”

“I can’t.”

This was written a few years ago and although, I haven't jumped off the edge, I have put on a harness and I am now hanging off the edge, slowly belaying my way. I'm not a blind jumper. I've come to realize that this is the way I am. I'm a slow mover, researching every aspect of something before I ease my way into it. Since I wrote those words 4 years ago, I have acted in 2 Mary and Martha plays with my friend Krista at 2 woman's retreats and I have spoken a few times at Celebrate Recovery. Sometimes, it's a slow process and I've come to realize that this is OK. It's given me time to grow and learn and it's given me time to get to know the Dream Giver a little better.

I have stopped saying, "I can't." It's changed to words like, "Maybe not now, but soon." Or, "I still need to learn a few more things before God will open up that door." And I really do, still need to learn a lot, because just the other day I slipped a bit. I took a survey. A survey on Facebook that was based on the date of my birthday and it would tell me what jobs I would be good at and what I was born to do.

- Housekeeper (LOL!)

- Nurse

- Caregiver

- Home Decorator/Interior Designer (LOL!)

- Healer

- Nanny

Although, some items on this list are not far off from what is instinctual for me and I could see myself doing this job, I am still shaking my head as to why I took that survey in the first place. Instead of trusting God, I looked to the world to tell me what my Creator had in mind for me to do, and for just a moment (actually a few moments), I second guessed the dream. I got confused again and I wondered, "is this really what God wants me to do? Because maybe... just maybe... He really wanted me to be a Interior Designer?"

(You can stop laughing now, Krista, Betty and Tamara! - the D4N's ladies who have had coffee at my house - they know the truth).

Sometimes change is fast and furious,

Sometimes change takes time.

Prepare your mind for action,

Prepare your will for self-control.

Set your hope on the grace been given to you,

and be holy in all you do. (Paraphrase 1 Peter 1:13-16)

“We have not yet been shown what we will be in the future…. But… we will be like Him.” (1John 3:2).

Joy Comes In The Morning

2012-10-28T02:17:00.000-07:00

There's a song by Jesus Culture that goes, "there may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning."

A few nights ago I found myself alone and feeling a little sorry for myself. A little pity party for just me, myself and I. It didn't last long. The personal pity parties have been fewer and fewer these days because I am gently reminded to give the garbage I'm holding onto away. See video 'Trash' below.

In the morning, I felt better. I took the dog to the dyke and as I watched her run through the tall grass a thought stuck me. As thoughts often do, they come without warning sometimes, and I was unprepared, no pad or pencil. So, I'll relay those thoughts, from memory, as best as I can.

"Angel's happy!" She looked ecstatic. Joyfully running circles around me. I realized she was happy because I had brought her to the place she was born to be in. Tall grass, marshland, water, and the home to wild animals (I did see a bear there a couple of days ago with her cub and the salmon are spawning). She's part Louisiana Catahoula Leopard dog mix with, Labrador and Australian Shepard. Catahoula's were breed to hunt wild boar in the bijou's, the marsh's and tall grass and although she wasn't hunting, that morning, she was herding and running circles around me just as an Australian Shepard might do. She was doing what she was born to do.
My daughter Alora had that same sparkle of joy when she was jumping a horse over 2'6 foot fences at the Pony Club games a few weeks ago. Rene has that spark in his eyes when he's on an adventure or needs to McGiver a solution to fix a problem. Kalina has it when she's working on an experiment or when she's explaining a good book she's read.
Each of us was born for a purpose and when that purpose is unclear we flounder through life confused listening to what other people think we should do. In the process, feeling discontent and disappointed.

God made each of us for a purpose. He gifted us with dreams and idea's to fill and accomplish, and he gave us the tools we need to make those dreams come true. Because we live in a fallen world, we don't always have the daily opportunity to follow that dream. There are bills to pay, children to feed, perhaps even a sickness to get through and we get side-tracked from the vision God gave us. We have responsibilities and the side path you may be on is necessary because we do not live this adventure alone and there are others who rely on us. But, just as there are season's in a year, there are also season's in our lives. Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.

There are times when we wish the summer was here already, yet it's only 2 days into winter.
There are days when I wished I had more time to research and write.
There are days that I wish I had already written many books and a few screen plays and I wish that I was making an income from these things so I could have time to concentrate on writing more.

But, it's not my season yet and I must be honest here, I don't always know if it will ever come. Hence, the pity parties. In those clear times, when I am focused on God, I know He wants me to write people's stories. He wants me to write words to tell people that they are not alone. They are loved. If one of these stories equips someone with a seed of hope and gives them strength, then I've done the job God wants me to do. I feel that spark of joy. I feel it now as I write these words to you.

This give and take is a hard balance sometimes and there were times when I felt terribly confused. I may have given myself and my time to others too much, listening to them instead of to God. However, on the flip side, when I'm too self-focused I end up not seeing others, and I don't help them with their need. Tough to balance, and it probably takes a lifetime to fine tune. But, this is how life goes, it's a roller coaster ride of great lows and disappointments, great highs of joy and everything in-between.
Perhaps, those 'highs' we get to experience are extra special only because of the 'low' places we've walked. A roller coaster wouldn't be much fun if it only had highs and no lows. The same is true for our lives.

A last thought:
Maybe the 'high' times of joy come more often when our attitude through the 'low' times are full of integrity, peace, grace, mercy, forgiveness and love?

1 Thessalonians 5:16
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Maybe, that's what being 'free' means?

What do you think?

35 PSI - Pressure, Seriously, Intense

2012-10-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

"The car's tire needs air," said my husband as I was about to drive away. I was late and feeling a little rushed.
"HUH?" I asked, not knowing which tire, how much air and where do I do this. I don't think I've ever put air into a car tire before, bicycle yes, car no. I must have looked confused, because my husband rolled his eyes at me.
"If you don't do it tonight, that means I have to do it at 2:30am tomorrow morning."
"I'll do it," I said, "but where and how much air?" I looked at the clock on the dashboard of my little Toyota Corolla and sighed. I had 05 minutes to get to where I needed to be and it was a 15 minute drive to get there.
"Can I do it after? I'm late."
"Yes. Save-On-Gas, the air is free and 35 PSI."
"Okay, remember the number 35." I said out loud. My husband heard me and wrote a number 35 in the dust on the front hood of the car. This was last Tuesday, it may still be there?

All evening I was wondering what PSI stood for:
- Pretty, sound, information
- Possible, serious, impression
- Pretentious, state of impatience

Nothing I came up with had anything remotely to do with air and how it goes into a tire. Now, I was tired. It had been one of those long days, actually, long months truth be told and I was feeling a little run down. Perhaps, just as flat as my tire. I was running low and avoiding the place where I could fill up again.
I stopped reading the Bible, I stopped praying everyday, I stopped going to church and I avoided other Christians as best I could. Why? Perhaps, because I didn't want them to see why I was so down in the dumps. Maybe, because I didn't want to have to explain it and I didn't want to be known as a complainer and a constant whinnier. I just wanted it to go away.
I had a string of bad luck all summer long and I was not coping with it well. In fact I was a little angry with the big guy upstairs, too. Why was God doing this to me? I felt like an Egyptian in the time of Moses.
"It's supposed to come in 3's!" I yelled out. Were up to 8 or 9 now.
Does anyone have some Lambs blood to put over my door before the 10th plague hits us?

For the last couple of months I have felt like I've been under some seriously intense pressure.

Hey... PSI (Pressure, Seriously, Intense), that's what PSI stands for! PSI was my malady. Now, what's the cure?

That evening after my appointment, I rolled into Save-On-Gas. I checked the pressure on the flat tire, it was at 20 PSI. Then, I placed the air hose thingy on the wheel thing-a-ma-bob to fill the tire. A few moments later I noticed the tire looked flatter. I checked the pressure again. It was down to 10 PSI. WHAT?
"Isn't it supposed to go up in pressure when filling it?"
"Mom, do you want me to ask the attendant?"
"No, no... I'll figure it out... give me a few moments." A few moments passed and it was now down to 5 PSI.
"What the heck is going on! The thingy and the thing-a-ma-bob were connected properly!" The PSI inside me was building. My daughter ignored her stubborn Mother and went in to ask the attendant about the air hose and why our tire was getting flatter instead of fuller.
"It should work now Mom, try again." It seemed the air hose generator was turned off for the night. In a few minutes the tire was up to 35 PSI and my PSI was released.

The cure for a high PSI level is not a stubbornness to fix it yourself. It's asking for help. And, if you can't ask for it yourself, to have someone in your life bold enough to ask for you.

May God fill you with strength to be able to let go and ask for help, and may he surround you with bold and loving people.

Thank-you God!

Anuschka

PS: PSI is a unit of pressure - pounds per square inch

The 10th Commandment

2012-10-02T21:42:00.001-07:00

Everyone knows them, even unbelievers I would suggest to say. So why did I as a Christian have difficulty with the 10th one?

My daughter started school last month in a neighbouring town. Being the manager of Mom's Taxi Service, I was recruited for the job of driving her to and from school. Within the first 2 weeks, I began to noticed the beautiful houses near the school and my mind wondered what it would be like to live in one of these luxurious homes.
Over the weeks I found myself desiring to live in one of them. I began to imagine all sorts of things on those drives to and from school, and I began to justify why it was a good idea to move.
Then I realized that these thoughts were my desires and that I did not have a thankful heart for what God had already given me. I was coveting material things.

Exodus 20:17 "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that [is] thy neighbour's."

Smack dab in the middle of all this wanting, the Lord put a devotion in front of me about coveting. It was a light bulb moment for me, however, it did not take the desire out of my heart. At the end of that second week I went for a walk with my Christian Aunt and I poured out my heart, my desire, and sin to her.
The following week when I drove my daughter to school the desire was gone. By talking about it, out loud to a fellow Christian, it made me accountable and then, and only then, God could do his magic and help take that desire away.

Thank-you God!

Tamara

Cliche's and Pinky Finger Burnings

2012-07-19T23:59:00.002-07:00

2 days after

I burned my pinkie finger on a cast iron frying pan last Tuesday afternoon. It was a stupid move. Easily prevented, but I was in a bit of a rush and instead of taking the time to put on my oven mitt I used a tea towel to push the pan aside.
"This is a great topic for your blog," my husband looked at me as I sat there with my hand up in the air above my heart and a towel filled with ice wrapped around my pinkie finger not getting what he's trying to tell me, "The ice sooths your burn like God sooths your insides."I was trying to focus on what he was saying to me, but the thumping in my finger kept distracting me.
"A bit of a cliche, though." He continued. Ice soothing a burn like God soothing your soul was definitely cliche and I found myself a little irritated at his idea.
"It's all been done before!" I thought to myself, "I want to write about something more, not cliche's.

Yet here I am writing it. God certainly works in mysterious ways.

Yes, the ice soothed the burn, it died down the pounding in my little finger, but when I took it off the ice, YOW! Like my finger was still stuck to that red hot frying pan. From 5pm till 7:20pm Tuesday night my finger felt like it was stuck in hell. I have to be honest here, it was a little hard to multi-task that night and I was leading a Celebration Station meeting with 5 kids to keep busy.
At 7:10pm that evening I found I had a minute to myself, the kids were all playing, and I realized that I didn't pray about this burn yet. I was so busy that I forgot to talk to God about it. There I sat, on a little red pre-school chair, ice dripping onto a table made for a midget, and I closed my eyes and asked God if he could please remove the pain so I could focus on the kids. Very simple. No waving of the hands, speaking in tongues or bending of the knees, just a simple heart felt prayer. Within 10 minutes, the pain was gone. I was actually able to put pressure on the white blister... and there was no pain.

Some of you may be rolling your eyes right now, "Whatever! This lady's crazy." or, "The burn wasn't that bad, this lady's a whiner," or, for those New Ager's out there, "It was mind over matter," or how about, "It was the ice that did it... it was on her finger for over two hours," and I'll admit the ice did help, I have no doubt of that, but something more happened to me that evening. Never mind the burn, never mind the pain, never mind the 'healing'. All this physical stuff is insignificant. A tiny speck in the bigger picture. I trusted God and He was there, and I am a tiny step closer to him than I was before.

I have a better understanding of what James (half brother of Jesus), wrote when he said, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man, unstable in all he does." James 1:2-8 (NIV)

I used to be doubtful that any of this 'religious' stuff was real and useful. I was tossed and blown from idea to idea and became double minded and unstable. Don't get me wrong, I still have a long way to go, but I finally understand that God does want to give generously and we need to trust Him and not doubt. We need to make the first step towards Him.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and I will bring you back from captivity." Jeremiah 29:13-14 (NIV)

For those doubter's out there, maybe this picture will help?

In the movie the Matrix, it was all about our choices and the choice to hope, the choice to believe. Neo had a choice, to believe Morpheus or not. If he had chosen not to believe he would have gone back to his 'normal life' and nothing would have changed (it would have made for a very poor ending - not box office material). Neo chose to believe and he swallowed the red pill.

"The red pill and its opposite, the blue pill, are pop culture symbols representing the choice between the blissful ignorance of illusion (blue) and embracing the sometimes painful truth of reality (red)."

After he made his choice he was downloaded with programs to help him fight battles, he had strength to asked questions and patience and perseverance to find the answers, and in the end his effort helped him save the human race.

When we take the first step in believing in God, through reading the Bible and prayer, He can download programs into us that will help us to see things a little clearer, story by story. Before all this can happen we need to chose the red pill. It's our choice. It's not a fast download, like in the Matrix, it takes time. While we learn, fingers are burned, knees get scratched, ugly words are spoken, frustrations and irritations get the best of us and we get hurt.

When we're too busy doubting and too self focused, we don't do anyone any good, especially ourselves. Our thoughts keep us too busy and we don't see reality. We are stuck in a personal dream world of pains, wants and desires.

Love heals, love changes people, love changes circumstances, and love allows you to grow.

Have an Amazing Day!
D4N

Unmasked

2012-04-24T22:42:00.000-07:00

I was so out of my comfort zone this past weekend.

I performed two dramas at the Ladies retreat last Saturday and one of them was real... one of them was a little glimpse into my heart and I shared how I sometimes hide behind a mask or the wall I've built.

You see, the 2nd sketch, the one with Mary and Martha, was easier for me because I was acting. I was playing someone else, and it's always easier to pretend to be someone else than to share the deep hurts of your heart. It's easy to act, because I could stay behind the mask.

"I don't want to open up my heart to these strange ladies!" I argued with God. He and I wrestled for about a week before I even wrote the drama down. It was the first week of April... 2 weeks before the retreat.

"I can't do it!" I've hidden behind the mask for far too long, I was quite used to it, and quite comfortable. But, that still small voice wouldn't leave me alone... and he just happened to make Anya call me that week... because this crazy idea he put into my head needed a piano player and I was procrastinating. Really, it shouldn't have surprised me...

"Hey, I was thinking of you Anuschka...just wanted to see how you were doing." With some hesitation, I told Anya the crazy idea...

She said yes.

After I had hung up with her, God whispered, "Call Maureen," (One of the speakers and organizers for the retreat).

"NO!" I replied.

"Tell her... I need you to do this... It's going to be OK." An hour later, I gave in and called...even though I had nothing written down yet.

"If it's too much bother Maureen, don't worry about it. Just a crazy idea I had." Actually, just a crazy idea God had, but I didn't tell her that, because I was secretly praying she would tell me no, "too late to add anything to the schedule." I imagined...

She said yes, "we'll fit it in." She sent me the schedule... my performance was scheduled for 11:45am, Saturday April 21st, 2012.

That night after the kids and Rene went to bed. I prayed. Then I wrote.

When Saturday morning arrived, I felt excited but also a little sick. I went in a little earlier to practise with Anya. You see, I hadn't memorized the lines for 'Behind the Mask'. The lines were all jumbled up with Mary's lines in 'Freedom and a Red Hat' the other drama scheduled for Saturday afternoon.

"I'm fine!....Every thing's Okay," I would begin the first sentence of 'Behind the Mask' then, it would turn into, "Bull...oney!...if your so fine then why did you tell Betty her grandchild was ugly this morning at coffee?"

"I'm in trouble." I worriedly thought to myself as I whispered into the microphone that morning, before all the ladies showed up.

"You'll do fine... just hang on to me." That still small voice whispered back. It's hard to hear the voice when worry and fear have control, but God had everything under control. As He usually does. He made sure Christina Williams and Maureen Floris spoke before it was my turn.

My song needed to be sung... the problem was... I wasn't trusting Him.
Christina showed us a picture of a bird, who wasn't in the cage anymore, but who was still standing in the shadow of it's cage. I realized that morning, that although I was free, the shadow of fear still loomed over me.
"What things in your life has power and control over you?" Christina asked us. My fear of what other people think, leads me to try to please everyone or I'll walk away and not make contact with others.
Then Maureen spoke and read to us, John 6:26-36, but verse 35 stuck with me. Jesus replied, "I am the bread that gives life! No one who comes to me will ever be hungry. No one who has faith in me will ever be thirsty." I realized I was thirsty and hungry, because I still stood in the shadow of fear. It was time to fly.
"We're running late." Roxanne, one of the organizers, came and knelt beside my chair. It was 12:05pm and 20 minutes past my debut. I'd like to tell you that I answered her boldly, "No.... I must perform! It's what God wants me to do." Instead...
"It's okay... if you have to cancel me that's fine... if there's no time... well, we'll just drop it."
"That's very gracious of you Anuschka," little did she know what I was really up to, "but, we'll get you on right after lunch. Around 1pm."
LOL!

"I prayed to the LORD, and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces." Psalm 34:4-6

Behind the Mask

Here is the proof...
I did end up doing it...

The story I had written, touched upon how we say we're fine, when we're really not. Behind the lies is hurt, pain, fear, guilt or shame and we put on a mask or we hide behind a wall.
I went on to explain how Staci Eldridge in her book 'Captivating' says, “If you take everything else away and peel back to the heart of a woman these 2 questions are at the core. Every woman asks them, perhaps not out loud, but tucked hidden away in a safe dark corner of her heart. Do you love me? Am I beautiful?”
What if these core questions are never answered? What happens to our hearts, when we don't know the answers to these fundamental questions? I don't know about you... but I would like to know I am loved every day.
I then shared a poem I had written in my travels through a very dark valley, a few years ago.

Pain

Sharp

Piercing

Deep into my heart

It hurts

Sadness

Loneliness rips me open

I feel defeated

“I’m such a disappointment,”

Unspoken words of love

Broken promises

It’s numbing me

Death is here

Death of spirit

Judgments weigh me down

I falter

I fall

Who’s going to pick me up?

Who will pick me up?

I cry in the shadows

Then I build my wall

It’s safe

There’s no one else behind my wall

I’m lonely

All alone

I ended it with these lines, "It’s been rainy for weeks now.... This dark cloud has been over my head for far too long.

But the sun came out today. Its rays warmed me. Ah, the light and the clarity. (Hold up the Bible) The Son came to visit me today… his unconditional love strengthened me, ah, the light and the clarity. (Taking off the mask) He told me to take off my mask and to come out from behind the wall I’ve built around my heart.

Do you know why?

Because…

He loves me every day."

This is the song Anya sang in between my story. It's by Francesca Battistelli, 'Behind the Scenes'. Thank-you Anya for all your help! I did end up, really enjoying, doing this with you. I pray that God will allow us to work together again soon.

"You, LORD, are my shepherd,
I will never be in need.
You let me rest in fields
of green grass.
You lead me to streams
of peaceful water,
and you refresh my life.
You are true to your name,
and you lead me along the right paths.
I may walk through valleys as dark as death,
but I won't be afraid.
You are with me,
and your shepherds rod makes me feel safe.
You treat me to a feast,
while my enemies watch.
You honour me as your guest,
and you fill my cup until it over flows.
Your kindness and love,
will always be with me,
each day of my life,
and I will live forever in your house, LORD."
Psalm 23 (CEV)

For those interested... here are a few pictures (Thanks Roxanne), of the 2nd drama with Krista as Martha, and me as Mary in 'Freedom and a Red Hat'. Thank you Krista, for being my friend and accountability partner, and allowing me to dress you up in purple, with feathers and a red hat. I had a lot of fun doing this with you.
Last year, at the ladies retreat, Mary and Martha showed up in valour exercise suits and ran around the Wii Resort with a virtual Jesus, this year the Red Hat Society... what will they be up to next year? Well... we'll see if they're invited back.

Hey Krista,
What do you think of going bungee jumping as Mary and Martha?... and getting someone to film it for us? Just a crazy thought... We could wear our valour exercise suits?
It would definitely get us out of our comfort zones. LOL!

Thanks to:
Christina Williams
Maureen Floris
Anya Brekkaas
Krista Fillmore
Roxanne for the pictures.
For the Psalm 28 image: http://ilovemybible.tumblr.com/page/11
You tube 'Behind the Scenes' by Francesca Battistelli and Nixieadamina: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKZM7Kc0IPE

Every Day Random Acts of Kindness

2012-04-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

D4N is about friends gathering together to fill a need with a deed. Most times, the deed is planned ahead when we need to cook for someone but other times it's a surprise like cleaning the school yard after the Halloween fireworks night. In March we were unable to meet for a few weeks due to family issues and other obligations and I found myself really missing those ladies.
This week, I've been thinking a lot about the times when we don't get to meet, to help fill a deed with a need. I really missed not doing something nice for someone else, together.
Then, I thought about the 'acts of kindness' that I've been trying to teaching my children and myself. Because really, we don't need to wait to do it just once a week. We can do it everyday.

I did a little google searching to see what's out there... where random acts of kindness are concerned... and I found this fellow blogger who back in December of 2011 began an adventure to do and write out each act of kindness for 366 days. In his own words, "There are a ton of people out there who have worries both big and small. I know I can't solve every problem for every person, but I am going to try to do my part. Starting tomorrow, I am embarking on a journey to make people's lives better. 2012 consists of 366 days (unless the Mayans are right, then this is all for naught). Each one of those 366 days, I will do a random act of kindness for a stranger, friend or family member."

http://www.366randomacts.org/

What about you and me? How can we make people's lives better each day?

I'm looking for stories to share about random acts of kindness. I know God doesn't want us to be boastful... because He does want us to do things in secret. But, this exercise isn't about boasting... it's about us sharing. Helping each other... maybe with ideas on how to help... and who needs help in our community. I would love to hear your stories and ideas. Please comment below or email me.

"The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land... You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." Isaiah 58:11 NIV

FYI: D4N will be meeting Tuesday mornings now instead of Thursdays.

Have a great day!
D4N

Taking off the Do Not Disturb Sign

2012-02-14T22:28:00.000-08:00

I saw a Joyce Meyers podcast this morning called 'Don't Disturb Me!' She said that everyone has, in some form, a 'do not disturb' sign on their lives. Rushing through life too concerned about themselves and what they need to do, rather than asking and seeking what God wants them to do. No time for interruptions... She went on to reveal that Jesus had time for interruptions. In fact, he was interrupted constantly, he never once said, "I don't have time to chat right now, but you're definitely in my prayers." Wow... talk about conviction... How many times have I prayed for others yet did nothing else? Now, I'm not saying we have to do everything... that's not realistic... but we should be listening to what God is urging us to do daily. Give what we can, when we can as we connect to that still small voice.

I'd like to share with you an excerpt from a story called 'Pollyanna doesn't live here anymore'. It's about a shy, co-dependant housewife who feels unloved. A faceless, unappreciated woman who's afraid of conflict; who avoids it like the plague. She is afflicted with resentments that run deep because she's suppressed them for so long having no one to talk to, no one to listen, no one who cares. Eventually her emotions peak to a boiling point, where she explodes and wants to take her own life. But God intervenes through Kay, who has taken off her 'Do Not Disturb' sign.

Attention: Restricted for adult eyes only - some insinuated swearing (I've blocked the words with wingdings).

"What are you doing?" Jeff was concerned about his wife. She had just finished a round of chemo and instead of resting she was baking muffins.

"God wants me to make some smiley face muffins for Polly."

"The neighbour can make her own muffins. God wants you to take a well deserved rest."

"No... that's what you want me to do." Kay was cold and tired, all she really wanted to do was snuggle on the couch with Jeff, but that still small voice wanted her to bake muffins for the neighbour. She didn't know why, but over the past ten years as a follower of Christ, she's learned that God always knows why and there is always a reason.

"Besides, I've got to keep busy... takes my mind off of things and it doesn't give me a chance to feel sorry for myself." she slowly grabbed the measuring cup from the cupboard and looked down at the recipe.

"I love you." Jeff's heart ached but he swallowed back the tears and hugged his wife, "What can I do to help you?"

“He’s such an A@#!” Polly thought to herself as she slammed the casserole dish into the sink.

“He doesn’t care about me,” she fumed, "if Ron really cared, he would have called by now." Her husband was supposed to be home at five thirty and it was nearly nine now.

"He doesn't respect me." That was the underlying issue, she's felt that way for years yet never told him. Resentment burning to her core. She's never been one to hold on to a grudge, or so she thought.
“@%$#!” she sliced the tip of her finger on a knife, hiding in the soapy suds underneath the dish she just threw.

It wasn’t the first time Polly worried about Ron, he'd done this kind of thing many times over the past 12 years of marriage. The first time was one month after they were married. He went to an AC DC concert with the boss and some guys from work.

"I'll be home late," He gave her a peck on the cheek and hopped into a Limo the boss had rented for the night; filled with bachelor wannabes drunk on tequila shooters. Polly woke up in a frenzy when, at 2am, she woke up to find her husband still missing.

"He said he was going to be late. Don't worry Polly. Just breath. He's Okay." She remembered having to talk herself out of a panic attack, it was instinctual for Polly, her Mom was a worry wart too; a habit handed down to the next generation.
"Just relax, he's fine." She couldn't help herself though, she loved him. She laid there for an hour trying not to picture the Limo in an accident on some rural road, or a knife fight in the alley of BC Place.
"How well do I really know these people?" Maybe drugs were involved and now her innocent husband was in the slammer? The dreaded list grew with each passing hour that Ron didn't call. It got to the point where Polly, at 5am began to pace hysterically throughout the rooms of their small one bedroom apartment. There was no way of reaching him. He didn't own a cell phone and she had no idea how to contact his boss, Paul.
"He better be in the hospital!" Anger consumed her at 7am. He called at 8am.

"I'm sorry honey. We had a lot to drink and it was late, so I just crashed at Paul's." She was irritated.
"Why didn't you call me?"she asked.
"Are you my mother?"
"No... but I was worried."
"Don't be honey. I'm a big boy." he laughed sarcastically, making Polly feel silly, as if she was making a mountain out of a mole hill.
"Fine... just call next time. Okay?" she was tired. Defeated, she innocently accepted his apology, thinking it would never happen again. She was so naive back then.

"I can't do this anymore. I'm so tired of waiting for him to grow up!" She felt her chest tighten up, "Twelve years of waiting. Twelve years of making excuses for him. This isn't a partnership!"

Many times, Polly tried to calmly explain how she felt when he didn’t call, but he would get defensive and say she didn't trust him. She didn't think he was having an affair, she just wanted to be sure he was okay. He never understood that. He didn't trust her. Ron never could let go of his independence, he didn't know how a partnership worked or to be accountable to another person. He had no understanding of what 'partnership' meant, and Polly was too shy to defend herself and tell him what she needed in this marriage. A part of it was her fault for not being bold enough to say anything. She hated 'rocking the boat'.
"It was all his fault! He doesn't care about me. He's the one that's selfish!" Years of built up resentments exploded around her. Her chest hurt. Her finger hurt. Her head hurt. Her heart hurt. She tried to wrap a Band-Aid around her finger with one hand, it was next to impossible. As tiresome as holding a toddler down to change it's diaper, while in a state of post partum depression.

“@#$#@!” She threw the box of band aids across the room.
"Good thing the kids were in bed," she thought, "they can't hear me swearing." she may have been good at keeping her voice down, but that didn't make the anger any less real. Polly rarely swore.
"Why do I let him get to me like this?"
"This is not what I signed up for!" she screamed silently and slid to the floor crying.

“Polly, you’re such a good girl,” her mother always told her. She never smoked, never drank, never did drugs and she waited till she was married before she had sex.

“She's such a good girl. I'm so blessed with Polly,” her mother would tell everyone, “we never had to worry about her.” No. No one had to worry about Polly. She was always doing the right thing, helped when something needed to get done, never raised her voice when things went wrong and always with a smile on her face. Even when she didn't feel like it. Good old perfect and reliable Polly, who was so perfectly lonely with no one to talk to.

"No one notices me. I blend in too well." with a feeble smile she picked the band aids up off the floor and put them back in the box. She was able to close the first aid box with her elbow, then placed it back under the sink.

“I’m tired of worrying,” she grabbed the broom and swept the bathroom and hall vigorously, “I’m tired of picturing his dead bloody body somewhere on the side of the road and I’m tired of him not giving a $#$% about how I may be feeling.” Defeated she leaned onto the broom clinging onto the ordinary before her emotions dragged her somewhere she didn't want to go.
"He doesn't love me." she sobbed. She was tired about everything. Even tired of living.

“I don’t want to do this anymore. No one would notice if I was gone." a deep sadness swept over her leading her emotions to very dark places. As she reached into the knife drawer, the doorbell rang.

Polly eventually finds healing. Through Kay, she realizes God has set her apart, she's not alone and faceless, He sees her. He loves her, and no matter how dark her life might seem, she is not hidden from the Lord. You see he sets captives free, he heals the sick and he calls the dead to come out of their graves. That's how much he loves her.

This is what Jesus has to say, about why he came, "The Lord has put his Spirit in me, because he appointed me to tell the Good News to the poor. He has sent me to tell the captives they are free and the blind that they see again. God sent me to free those who have been treated unfairly..." Luke 4:18

We, who believe, are called to follow in Christ's footsteps. How can we do that when we have our 'do not disturb' sign on? How can we set captives free if we ourselves are captive, focused on our own problems? Everyone has problems. That's life, but what are you focused on?

This week I've been reading The Secret of Happiness by Pastor Barry James Buzza. He states that the Sea of Galilee, even 2000 years later is still known for it's abundant species of fish.
"One hundred and fifty three species of fish are reported to flourish in the twelve mile by six mile fresh water lake." Barry Buzza
This lake flows into the Jordan River also known for it's abundant aquatic life, but life stops at the end of it when it flows into the Dead Sea.
"Life flows in, sits there and does nothing and that's the end of the story." Barry Buzza
There is no life in the Dead Sea, because there is no outflow.
There is no life in you if you receive and take instead of giving. We need outflow in our lives.

"The secret of happiness is revealed in the river that flows out of us, rather than the river that flows into us." Barry Buzza

My challenge for you this week is to take off the Do Not Disturb sign around your neck and notice the needs of those around you. I'd love to hear about your week and if you would like to share a story with us give us an email.

Love You
Anuschka and the D4N Ladies

Is Power an Illusion?

2012-01-25T08:42:00.000-08:00

"With great power comes great responsibility. Why? Because power is an illusion. The desire to yield that is weakness. An exercise in ego, and the fact is that all you really hold when you hold power, is all the rope you need to hang yourself."
A quote from the TV show 'Being Erica' on CBC

I'm going to leave you with just this quote, no story today.
I heard this quote the other day and found it fascinating. It made me think about the kind of leader I have followed in the past and what kind of leader I'd like to be following now, maybe even what kind of leader I am/or would like to be?

I'd like to stir up a little conversational discussion on this quote. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. So please leave your comments here on this page or if you don't have access to blogspot you can send them via facebook or email me.

Looking forward to seeing your comments!

Anuschka

Tea Cup Story and Cauliflower Soup

2012-01-19T13:10:00.000-08:00

This week Krista wanted to share her favourite link for Cauliflower Soup and a story sent to her by her Mom. This little Tea Cup story really has a powerful message and God bless her Mom who knew just what she needed to hear when she needed to hear it. Go figure... God does work through Moms.

I don't know where the story originally comes from or who wrote it.

Enjoy!

I'm a Little Tea Cup

Love this story or not, you will not be able to have tea in a tea cup again without thinking of this.

There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups.

Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked "May we see that? We've never seen a cup quite so beautiful."
As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, "You don't understand. I have not always been a teacup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me, pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "Don't do that. I don't like it! Let me alone," but he only smiled, and gently said, "Not yet."

Then WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was made to suit himself and then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. "Help! Get me out of here!" I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, "Not yet."

When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! "Ah, this is much better," I thought.
But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. "Oh, please, stop it, stop, I cried." He only shook his head and said, "Not yet."

Then suddenly he puts me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited and waited, wondering, "What's he going to do to me next?"

An hour later he handed me a mirror and said, "Look at yourself." And I did. I said, "That's not me. That couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!"

Quietly he spoke: "I want you to remember. I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you."

************************************************************
God knows what He's doing for each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mould us and make us and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect.

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to "stink", try this.

Brew a cup of your favourite tea in your prettiest tea cup, sit down and think on this story and then, have a little talk with the Potter.

God Bless You!

Krista

Here is the link to a good bowl of Cauliflower soup:

The Pioneer Woman - Cauliflower Soup

Very Good People

2012-01-12T12:36:00.000-08:00

Is it enough to be a good person?

Grace... What is it?

Tamara wanted to share a devotion for this week about grace:

Devotion from Friday Jan 6th: Ephesians 2:1-10

The Difference Between Root and Fruit

It is by grace you have been saved....not by works, so that no one can boost. Ephesians 2:8-9

The english politician William Wilberforce is best known for his efforts to end slavery in the British Empire. It was a decades long struggle, but abolition was finally accomplished.

Wilberforce not only had great determination; he was able to discern spiritual truth. He was perplexed that many who considered themselves Christian supported the slave trade, which he belived was in opposition to Christian faith. In response he wrote A Practical View of Christianity to show the danger of making good behavior the basis for salvation.

Can you imagine a politician today calling for social reform by making direct appeals to Christian doctrine? That's what Wilberforce did. He rightly pointed out that good works do not create new life in Jesus; they demonstrate it.

People who consider themselves "good" but do not abide in Christ are placing more trust in their own work than in God's. But the only possible result is nominal Christianity - surface-level goodness without internal renewal. That's why Jesus called the Pharisees, who were undoubtedly very good people, "whitewashed tombs" (Matthew 23:27)

Obedience is the fruit, not the root, of being accepted by God. Work hard at being good, but always remember that your good works "show the incomparable riches of his grace."

From Today, a Back to God Ministries International publication. Author Peter Hoytema

I have been praying that the Lord would show me my sin so I may ask forgiveness (for I always felt like a good person and that I didn't have many sins), and God has been faithfuly showing me in many ways, one was this devotional.

Thank you,

Tamara

Is being good enough?

This is something that many people have a great deal of trouble with. I know I have as well.

I was always told by my parents and teachers, that I was a good girl. I never got into any trouble. I wasn't never into drugs, smoking, promiscuity or alcohol. I always did what I was told and helped when asked, even helped when not asked.

So, compared to other teenagers, people thought I was a saint.

"How could I be a sinner?"

But that's what I was… at least that’s what the Pastor said when I first gave my heart to Christ in 1982. I couldn’t understand what sin was. I never did anything wrong and it felt increasingly uncomfortable to not repent of something. What bad choices had I made? I couldn’t think of anything to lie down at the feet of Jesus and repent. So, I made something up. Maybe that’s why God's grace didn’t stick the first time a round?

Sin is anything that keeps you away from a relationship with your Creator. Anger , resentment, lieing (to look good), and disappointment at everyone and anyone that isn't up to your high standard of values and morals... and then pass judgment on those who fall short.

Instead of catching them before they fell off the cliff, I gave them a little push with my judgmental rulings. Shame on that high and mighty little princess of long ago, who thought she was better then everyone else. I am not a saint... and no one is. It isn't about my standard of morals, but Gods. Being good by my standards isn't enough.

Lord, forgive us when we think to highly of ourselves and judge others instead of offering them grace; thank-you for showing grace to us. Help us to show your grace to others. Prepare us for every good work. In Jesus name. Amen

Anuschka
and the D4N Ladies

180 Movie and Coffee

2012-01-06T13:45:00.000-08:00

Klara Polzl - Hitler's Mom

"Lets not forget what war does... what anger does to a human heart."
"If you could go back into time with a gun, would you kill a pregnant Adolph Hitler's mom?"
"Abortion... are you pro life or pro choice?"

This was the conversation over coffee and tea last Thursday morning at D4N. Normally our conversations are a little less sensational, but considering the 180 movie we had watched, I suppose it was to be expected.
The movie touched upon really deep issues that I believe, we as Canadians, don't talk about enough. Most of us are non-committal avoiding discomfort to keep ourselves from from seeing what's really going on in this world; safe in our own little 'happy' bubble. Those who forget history are bound to repeat it and most kids today don't know who Adolf Hitler was. Many people have never heard of the Holocaust and if they did hear of it they believe it to be a myth, nothing better than a fairytale.
"It never happened." Is becoming common thinking, because people don't like to feel convicted, because then they would have to change. People don't like change. Yet, sometimes we need to hear things that make us feel uncomfortable because it's in this 'discomfort' that we begin to think - we begin to question - we begin to make changes that help us grow and become stronger.
Anger kills the human heart. It's a disease. Anger kills the spirit, the heart and people. Anger is foolish. We must teach this to our children and our grandchildren lest we repeat the past.
"If you could go back to the time just before Hitler was born," the commentator asked in the movie 180, "and you had a gun, would you shoot Adolf's pregnant Mom?" Most answered, "YES!"
Million's of families have been hurt by this Man. Unbelievable pain and suffering happened because of one man's idea's. There are many people who would not even pause before pulling that trigger, but does that make it the right thing to do? I think the consensus Thursday morning was that neither one of us could pull that trigger. We would be no better than Hitler, because our anger would have totally consumed us to the point of becoming a killer. Just like Hitler.
" Do you think if Klara Polzl knew she was about to give birth to a mad man, would she have aborted the baby?" Hitler's Mama, was known as a kind and gentle woman who spoiled her son. This is a common attribute of many mothers. So what happened? I touched upon this topic a little in Hitler's Fleas last November.
To abort a baby no matter what the circumstance... Is this a better path of thinking to take? Instead of shooting Klara, would we tell her what a monster she was about to give birth to? Would we persuade her to abort the child? Is this the right thing to do? Millions of woman all over the earth have abortions, killing perhaps many little Hitler's but... they could be killing little Mother Teresa's as well. Who are we to judge? And why would Klara believe us? How could a kind and gentle mother possibly kill her own child? Would we? These were tough questions we asked ourselves Thursday morning.
"Education! Education! Education!" was the mutual agreement. We have to teach kids the mistakes of the past. Teach them about love and compassion. Equip them with healthy skills to deal with the hurts that will happen in their life. To love them unconditionally, with no judgements. And then pray, pray, pray that they become not an ugly scar upon humanity but a great blessing.

To see how the conversation started see:
180 Movie

To view the movie on You Tube:
180 the Movie

If you feel like joining the conversation please leave a comment below. We would love to hear from you.

Next Thursday's coffe hour will take on a more domestic feel... we will be making meals for a cancer patient... but... then again? Woman can cook and talk at the same time, can't we? Who knows where this weeks conversation will lead? LOL!

Have a wonderful week

Love the D4N ladies

A New Path

2012-01-03T23:12:00.000-08:00

A new path lies before us;
We're not sure where it leads;
But God goes on before us,
Providing all our needs.
This path, so new, so different
Exciting as we climb,
Will guide us in His perfect will
Until the end of time.
Linda Maurice

It's a new year, full of new beginnings, full of hope for the year to come. Many different paths will come our way. Which paths will we choose?

The D4N(Deeds for Needs) blog will be changing as well.

I have come to realize over the past few months, that I am doing all the talking on this blog. This blog is not about me, D4N is a group of women who have a voice and wonderful things to share. So, this coming year, I will be sharing my soap box with them and with you.

Deeds for Needs is about friends sharing... sharing our time, sharing our experiences, sharing our stories, sharing our recipes and sharing our love.

I will continue my journey on the Wild West Diaries you are very welcome to travel along.

What do cat scars, salty dutch licorice, fairy dust, and tree ornaments have in common?

2011-12-13T01:07:00.000-08:00

So what do cat scars, salty dutch licorice, fairy dust, and tree ornaments have in common? You may think I'm nuts and wonder what hat I pulled this idea out of? But trust me, they all link together. Keep reading...

Cat Scars
Yoda is my cat. I love him to bits. He has been with this family since he was 3 weeks old (we fostered him as a kitten along with his brother and 4 sisters). I used to walk the kids to school with him tucked into my coat pocket. All the kids, from each of my girls classes, got to know Yoda. They thought he was a cool cat. That was five years ago.
He still is a cool cat. He just gets himself into trouble every so often (shhhhh...he's not so bright). He drinks out of the toilet (not even my dog does that), he steals food from the counter (not even my dog does that), he torments the dog (yes a 4 pound cat can reduce a 60 pound dog to a whimpering mess), he even torments the neighbours dog (he has been seen poking his paws into the mail slot of my neighbours front door with a 100 pound German Shepard whining on the other side). He has climbed up the Christmas tree, he still climbs up on the kitchen counter (even though I've sprayed him with water, put Tabasco sauce on the counter top and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and in a deep pack leader voice said, "NO", firmly), but it seems only the dog is a good listener. Yoda is not. He has attitude. When Yoda wants something, Yoda does it with out thought of the consequences. His choices have not always been good ones and this attitude of his has gotten him into a lot of trouble over the years and he has acquired a few scars, some physical... some mental.
Perhaps you have a few physical and mental scars yourself? I do.
Now, hold onto that thought while I get to the salty licorice.

Salty Dutch Licorice

I lead a children's program called Celebration Station, and this past week I spoke to the kids about choices. How do we make good choices rather than bad ones?

I brought a bag of dutch candies and licorice with me and some were sweet and other's were very salty. These zwaart and wit candies (see picture), were sweet on the outside and salty on the inside. Before I let them pick a candy I asked them, "How do you know to pick the one you like without taste testing it first?"

Here are their answers:

- You just try it and if it's yucky, spit it out

- You look at it and see if it looks good

- You ask questions to someone who has had some

I added one other:

- Read the manual or in this case the recipe

On the first try, the kids picked the candies that looked good and one of them ended up with this zwaart and wit one.

"MMMM, I made a right choice!" they were so happy... at first... then they got to the middle.

"YUCK! I'm going to throw up," and they ran to the garbage can.

I explained to them, that sometimes our choices may seem right in the beginning but we can still end up in a big yucky mess. That's why it's good to talk to someone you trust about the decisions you need to make in life, and it's good to read the manual or the recipe of life.

Fairy Dust

My daughter decided to shake out the 'snow' (cotton batten we use for our Christmas village), not at the side of the house or in the back garden, but right at my front walk.

Last year we used snowflake powder to sprinkle our village to make it look as if it had new fallen snow. It sparkled and glimmered as the light reflected off the small flake like particles. It was beautiful, but it made a mess everywhere.
Now, it lay at my front door. Did I mention these flakes stick to the bottom of shoes and paws?
I swept up the mess two days ago, yet I'm still finding fairy dust sparkles as far as the upstairs bathroom. Where is it coming from? It's everywhere and so hard to get rid of. Just like dirt.
I wonder if it breeds?

Tree Ornaments
Every Christmas I take the time to sit and just look at my tree. It's not a perfect tree, it's tilted a little to the left (I blame the cat). Each ornament is different, home made, not one alike. Some ornaments have been flattened, a few punctured, squished, folded and have been broken and now wear the glue gun scars of wear and tear.
"That's the one I made in kindergarten."
"I made this one at girl guides."
"My mom crochet this angel."
No, my tree is not a perfect designer tree. I do not have stamped out ornaments made in China. Each ornament has a unique memory linked to it. And I love to just sit there and stare at my tree and reminisce.

Where it all comes together
We all have scars inside and out. It's a fact. Some of us try to hide them behind fake 'made in china' designer ornaments and pretend that everything is perfect. But, when we stick a band aid on the boo boo, the scars never have a chance to heal, they need air to dry out and time to heal. We need to sit and focus on each scar, not in resentment but look at what we have learned from the experience. God turns the hurt into blessings, when our focus detours in the opposite direction of resentment, our character grows up out of the hurts. No longer ugly scars but beautiful ornaments.
When we hold onto hurts, the darkness in our lives can spread to those we love. Just like dirt. When we let go and trust, Gods grace and light comes into us and reflects out so we can spread it around. Just like the fairy dust. Which would you rather spread around?
Some hurts come from the bad decision others have made, some have come from a fallen world. We have no control over these. We do, however, have control over the decisions we make. Talk to those you trust. Understand that Christ knows all about wounds and wants to help heal yours, and if you find yourself confused in which direction to take, read the manual.

Love You!