Deep Fried Uncle

10 out of 50+ Most Effective SEO Tips

noreply@blogger.com (Deep Fried Uncle) — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 13:22:00 +0000

If Im not mistaken there's at least 50 tips to make your blog/site search engine friendly. But to simplify, I'm just gonna list the 10 Most Effective SEO Tips. Don't put the blame on me if you can't handle the traffic after this. :o)

10. Have a Site Map/Navigation Bar

Big sites gotta have site map and small sites gotta have navigation bar to link every page there in the site. If you wanna make your site/blog SEO friendly. With site maps or nav. bars, these bots will be able to find all the contents on your page with only 2 clicks.

9. Have Titles for Links

Links can get titles, too. Some search engines figure this into their relevancy for a page while this help visually impaired surfers know where you are sending them. So let's just say making it simple makes your site more user friendly for every surfers, ' even if they're mindless' (I'm referring to the bots).

8. Don't Overdo the Anchor Text

Don't make your inbound links looking the same, because that looks like mechanization - something Google scowls upon. So it decreased the chances of your words match the keywords. You might wanna use URL sometimes, then blog title some other times, Use "Sugar-coated testosterones " occasionally, "Get sugar-coated testosterone" as well, "Sweet-flavored testosterone breakfast cereals" some other times, just an example.
7. Exchange Articles
This is much more useful than exchanging links. You publish someones elses article on "the Advantage of Sugar-coated Testosterones" with a link back to their site. They publish your "Top 10 Sugar-coated Testosterone Producers in Europe" also with a link back to your page. Both have content. Both have high quality links.

6. Get Multiple Domains

If you have several topics that could each support your site, it's good to have multiple domains. Why? Search engines usually list one page per domain. You, you might wanna have two. Directories mostly accept homepages only. So, by having many domains, you get more directory listings.

5. Texts Before Images

If you have link images in the navigation bar, include the text links BEFORE the images. coz search engine bots follow the first link they find in the source code. They won't follow additional links in the page. Remember, when considering technology like SEO, think like a search robot.

4. Be a Foreigner

Australia and the UK have many directories for sites based on their countries. Explore new market by getting a business address oversea. So basically you will be listed in more directories by doing so.

3. Be Bold, literally

Bold your keywords on each page. Use the keywords to make the bots easier. But DON'T use it everytime. Once or twice is good enough. We only wanna attract the bots.
2. Manipulate Newsletters

Simple, yet effective. Submit articles to e-zine publisher that archive their e-zines. The links live for ages in the archive. It's like your link is immortalized, gnerating more traffic in the long run.

And the #1 SEO tip is...

1. Deep Linking

Have links to as many sites as possible. This tells the engine that your site is traffic-worthy. Many clicks come from YOUR site. And you seem to have worthy contents. Don't let the bots think that your links were generated via automation rather than content. Remember, think like a robot.

So there you have it; the top 10 SEO tips. Good luck trying!

The Ultimate Solution For Online Business

Grab it while it's HOT!

"The Now Big Thing" Brock Lesnar

noreply@blogger.com (Deep Fried Uncle) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:09:00 +0000

I am forever amazed by a mortal named Brock Edward Lesnar. He is the perfect combo of power and speed.

A 'free-thinker' scientist once concluded in his research on lightning that the more you know about a power, the more intimidated you are by it. He happened to overheard a verse from the Holy Book read by a scholar that indicates the same exact thing; thus, made him return to God. As a newbie in fitness, I discover how incredible his talent is, either on the gridiron, on the mat, in the squared circle, and in the Octagon.

In college, he was well-known for his athleticism as he is a well-rounder in sports. Playing Football, Wrestling, and even Soccer. Being a roommate of yet another amazing in-ring performer, Shelton Benjamin, we knew this jock eat, breath and bleed sports.

Gifted in many area, he chose Wrestling over Football and captured the 2000 NCAA Heavyweight Championship with a record of 106-5 overall in fou r years of college. after being a runner-up a year before. He was nicknamed 'the Robocop' due to his unreal strength on the mat.

Entered Pro-Wrestling in the same year, he debuted the WWF/WWE in 2002 as 'the Next Big Thing'. In a profession where the action is pre-orchestrated, Lesnar nonetheless gained respect even from the Pro-Wrestling haters for his amazing display of strength and speed, a combination rarely we see from a 280 pounder. He reached the Main Event status considerably fast compared to his generation like Shelton Benjamin, John Cena and David Bautista, capturing the World Title 3 times.
After his successful run in the WWE as heel and face, he joined the Minnesotta Vikings for a short while before creating controversy fighting on the gridiron, declined an invitation to play as a representative of the Vikings in NFL Europa and trouble with WWE lawsuit.

Adding insult to wound, he wrestled in New Japan Pro-Wrestling and captured the IWGP Heavyweight Title. He somehow settled the so-called contract breach with the WWE and wrestled freely until 2007 before entering MMA.

Trained by the legendary Royce Gracie, he had an impressive victory in K-1 over Min Soo Kim by submission with his mounted punching. He headed to the UFC and set to face a former Champ Frank Mir. Making a rookie mistake, he lost by submission after the seem-to-be loosing Mir got him in a kneebar. In his next match with Heath Herring, he seems more aware, yet still agressive, connecting with a huge right, sending Herring rolling near the fence. Herring however survived and only lost to Lesnar via decision. Lesnar's next opponent was the UFC Heavyweight Champ, Randy Couture. On November 15. Lesnar beat Couture via a technical knockout in Round 2, becoming the UFC Heavyweight Champion.

Much like his previous runs in other sports, he climbed the MMA ladder quickly, being the Man with only a 3-1 record. Whoever come up with the dub 'the Next Big Thing' is surely a worthy copywriter. Big talent are easy to scout. Proven that he is for real and not just another genetic freak who performs scripted fights, Brock Edward Lesnar is truly "the Now Big Thing".

7 Steps to Turn Your Friend Into Your Soulmate

noreply@blogger.com (Deep Fried Uncle) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 14:02:00 +0000

from ixphone.net

NOTE: The writer is totally against hurting women and pre-marriage sex. ONLY use this on your potential soulmate. If you want to be a player/heart breaker/sex goddess/etc, search for other article elsewhere.

Yup, we all have at least a friend who we want to move to the next level with. Either you're romantically interested since Day-1 (most likely) or develop that feeling along your so-called 'sincere' friendship, it bites to be in the friend zone. Anyway, kudos to the first group; at least they have the audacity to try, although it leads to different directions.

Before we go further, let me remind you that once you're in the friend zone of your special someone, it's nearly impossible to make her feel the same. But you do have a chance provided you're patient enough applying the steps given later on and don't snap in the process.

So next time, be a good scholar of love and learn the right way to approach 'the one'. That matter will be discussed in some other time. Let's move on to the tips...

1. Share your problems with him/her (besides not getting him/her)

The more problematic, the better. The bigger loser that your are, the more effective this will work. Maybe you get dismissed, get fired, or having a fight with your parents; maybe something smaller like you're fugly, people push you around or you su*k in Chemistry. Kindo like a soul searching. Mine was simply about being a sinner, nonathletic and economically challenged. Trust me, as a friend, she'll try to comfort you (just as friend, for the time being) Whatever it is, DON'T LIE, for God's sake. Don't tell me your life is perfect, loser. Only a loony got no problem. It must be real, must be big enough to trigger your next step.

2. 'Start a revolution from your bed', and inform him/her

Most of us tend to neglect the latter part. Both are equally important. I myself, once started to change to apply this step but forgot the 'inform' part. It wasted 3 months, I guess, to get her noticed. The painful part is almost everyone noticed, except her. Grrr. Tell her something like you wanna quit skipping class, go to the mosque more often, quit smoking, hit the gym, stop over-spending, etc. This works best when she notice the change of behavior (short term) and the positive result (long term). Again, DON'T LIE. 'The game' is not about the most outstanding pick-up lines and most expensive gifts; it's all about adding your self-value and being a better person. Stick consistantly with your resolution. Mine was hitting the gym (which is easy to get noticed long and short term), going to the mosque more often (which the rumor easily spreads around ASAP) and having a side-income. My mistake was I didn't inform her, thus making this process time-consuming. Don't repeat my mistake.

3. Avoid him/her, or spend less time with him/her.
This is crucial to get out of the friend zone. The old saying goes;"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" (I love to use this excuse on my English lecturer when I skip class). The same concept use when a player 'pretend' act or be really busy. It shows that you have something going on in life rather than just hanging out with her. This shows that you have excitement in life and she's missing it. By doing this, you also develop the feeling that she's losing you in a way. Make her feel what it's like to be without you. If she ask you what's wrong, just tell her that you're 'kindo busy and cannot wait to catch up with her, but just not now'. If she's not asking, just act cool and be patient. When I try this, it's quite hard to 'avoid' her. Let's just say it's hard to say no to a goddess. Felt very pity to her when she wanted explanation. Eventually, I succeeded. It kills me softly seeing her without having her. It's all about mindset; how bad you want something. Good for me, morning, evening and midnight are outa the question for us. No more breakfast together coz I have to jog. No more outing together coz I have to pump that iron. No more overnight together coz I have to sell nasi lemak and wake up early next morning. Trust me, your fondness will pay off.

4. Look your best

Now, my resolution allowed me to change my looks. If your change is nothing about building muscles, getting chissled or trim the fat, change the way you dress and have a new nice haircut (consult the hairstylist). It's not hard to learn about fashion. You non-muslims can get a toughtful tattoo. Just don't be a fashion victim. Make your change natural. You can turn from a nerd to a rapper or an emo guy, but again, DON'T LIE. Like don't dress like a rapper when you don't know a thing about Hip Hop. No need to throw away your core value. Be yourself; your better self. You can stay nerdy, but dress appropriately for the occasion. Learn how to wear formal when needed. Learn the latest hip fashion for you casual activity. Don't go jogging with those soccer mom sweaters and striking yellow tracksuits. This aint' the 80's. For me, I just raise up the volume of my core value. I got this spiky haircut and goatee (consult a hairstylist) Formal: classic-colored-shirt (plain/vertical stripe, white/light blue/gray/light pink/black) and pants (usually dark), plain/stripe tie (with colors blended with your clothes/pants or 'outstand' the suit. NO CARTOON), leather shoes. Casual: added my accessories (rings, spike, bracelet, wallet chain), usually black T, chissled jeans, Cons/skater shoes (see Randy Orton street cloth). Take notice your face, body type, your skin color and what suits them.

5. 'Bump into' him/her once in a while (Back At One)

This is the fun part. You'll be getting a lot of praises and how much she misses you/can't wait to hangout again. Once in a while, ok. For me, 2 times/week is cool. Always be the one who end the meeting. This is part of DOHV (demonstration of high value) which I'll explain in other posting. Keep her wanting more. In this process, change the way you treat her meeting by meeting. Treat her as a girl, not a friend. You should know the difference since that's your basic problem here. How do I know? Coz you keep reading this crap. Better, diversify you degree of attention. It'll drive her nuts. Tease her naughtily.

Like text to her: "Hey, I jz came back frm d theater wid my family & cant stop thinking of u...". She will ask what theatre and why.

You answer: "Disney On Ice. there's this cute Donald Duck. His mouth looks like your beak. I can't tell the difference."

DON'T APOLOGIZE for it. Whatever her reaction is, you just touched her heart in an 'unfriendly' way, giving her an emotional roller-coaster. Laugh in the face of danger. Look at the funny sides of problems occured, but solve it. It shows that you're patient and makes you funnier. At this stage, read her signs in her eyes, body language and speech,like when you back at one. This is the stage I like to call back at one. Like going back from the start. At this point, she was dying to meet me, and she said she 'won't take no for an answer'. She's with this "there's something we need to talk. Actually We should do this a long long time ago" kindo stuff.

6. Say "yes" when you think he's/she's ready.

Say "yes" after she shows enough IOI (indication of interest) You can find tons of info on reading signs on the net. If can, let her set up the meeting/date, no other clique members (otherwise it's not a date). If she show you IOI but did not set up the meeting, she's waiting for you to set it up. Don't get devastated if she say "no". After showing IOI, I assure you she's genuinely busy, unlike before.

7. CONFESS

This is not my strong area since I rarely do it. But just BE SINCERE. If you really find a suitable 'confession line' in the net, make sure yu really mean it. The problem with good lines is people overuse it and if you're not the first to say to her you're busted. I waited for her to ask my availability. In my case, it goes:

At the KLCC Park after dinner. This is exactly what we said.

I: So, What is that something we need to talk?

she: My life is totally empty since you're married to the gym, hihi (lol, she's still funny in serious situation. That's why I love her). You seem to getting what you want in life... [awkward silence] Are you really that happy?
I: What do you mean? (don't challenge girls too much on making a confession. They're easier to give up than guys in this area)
She: Well. Now that you're a rockstar (the exact words she said); lose my favorite pillow (my belly); get bigger guns (arms); found your way back to God; have more money; is your life really that perfect ? ... (No!)[awkward silence]

I: [gazing at the stars] Know what? After my so-called soul searching, I really get to know myself better. I realized, life is not about how far my journey is; but how deep my journey is into my inner self. Of all this ages men try to reach the Heavens above, I realize that Heaven is a place on Earth... [turning to her]... right in front of me! No! It's not perfect. Some part of me is still missing. A piece of my left rib was still missing (we believe that Eve was created from Adam's left rib). All this while, I tried to complete myself, Now I know, the piece of my left rib is right in front of me. I'm never complete without you, dear... [looking deep into her eyes; real awkward silence] Please be with me... be my Heaven... and gimme back my rib, please! [The rest is for us both to cherish]

That's what I feel about her. Be sincere during a confession. It keeps the originality. You don't wanna get busted using pick-up lines from the net, right?

So there you have it, the 7 steps of turning your friend into your soul mate. I don't guarantee this will work for you like the dating gurus out there. I'm no pro. But it works for me. The best way is to pray for the best and prepare for the worst. the worst thing can happen is only a rejection. If this happen, just move on and never see her again, if you can survive. If you still want her, go back to Step 5-7 WITHOUT LOOKING NEEDY. If you don't want here anymore/found someone else, continue being her friend, IF you can survive. In the process just find another prospect to diversify your portfolio. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

How to Write Your "About Me" in Your Blog

noreply@blogger.com (Deep Fried Uncle) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 06:49:00 +0000

When people read your About Me, several questions run through their mind:

"Who the hell are you?"
"What the hell can you do?"
"What's in it for me?"
"How to talk to you, just in case?"

Yes, I know what you're thinking. You want to be different, creative and unique to stick into the mind of your readers. But there's a fine line between different and deranged. Blogging is different compared to your social network like MySpace, FaceBook or Friendster. Even so, leaving question marks (without answering one bit) in social network have become obsolete. You can be creative, but build trust and show credibility also.

Anyway, back to blogging. The reason being so is because people want to know from who they're reading. You need to build trust and credibility. Picture yourself reading some tips on how to become a player, but the About Me is kind of blurry, you'll hesitate to take the advice and go to the more established PUA sites (pickup artists).

Here's a simple example:

(Who the hell are you?) Hey... I’m Ronin Maulana and I write GoBlog and PujanggaCinta = scholar of love (What's in it for me?) to help dudes to be successful with women. Currently work as a tutor around Jakarta, been teaching in school and giving talks in seminars on acquiring the love of their lives. I started PujanggaCinta in 2004 and GoBlog in 2006 (What the hell can you do?) to help dudes deal with their obstacle in finding "the one". In college, I studied Psychology, did all sorts of business and involved in creative writing. (How to talk to you, just in case?) To contact me, check out my email below and I welcome any thoughts or opinions on this site. Peace...

How To Survive The Fuel Price Catastrophe

noreply@blogger.com (Deep Fried Uncle) — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 12:14:00 +0000

Everybody suffers the wrath of the fuel price catastrophe. Even the most well-off spoilt-brats in my social circle are affected. Even though the Cabinet announces the new price every end of the month, it relieves me very little. They can go lower, though. Anyway, considered as the most money-wasting creature by my dad, I know many ways to save gas. Lord, I need those money for finer things in life. Here are my favorites:

1. Load your tank in the morning, not when it's empty.

Low temperature gives denser gasoline while high temperature makes the gasoline expand. What should be a gallon is not really a gallon in high temperature; simple science. The storage tanks are buried below ground. The ground is cooler in the morning. Some argue that whether it's 'liquid' gas or 'air' gas, It's all gas. But be reminded; some air gas don't really go in your tank when you pump it in. that's where there a risk of explosion. that's why we should not smoke in the gas station or answer our phones. When it's hot, more liquid gas converts to air gas and spreads everywhere. So, warmer atmosphere does affect the amount of your gas.

2. Load your tank when its half full/empty.

Again, about the air gas. The more gas you have in your tank, the less air there is and gas evaporates more rapidly when it's warm. At first I thought it's no difference. Yah. liquid gas or air gas, it's all the same for me. Then I studied in one of the driest part of the country (Bestari Jaya). At that time I always fill my tank when it's nearly empty. Tomy astonishment, my fuel consumption (CLK = Cute/Creepy Little Kancil) is more than a friends' (Waja). He thought me this trick.

3. Drive with the ideal speed.

For those indy car racer or accidenct candidates wannabes, you might want to try and follow the speed limit for a while. I discovered that the speed limits ARE the ideal speed. The ideal speed of a car is varied. Invest your time test driving your car on a flat straight road. I noticed that my CLK's ideal speed is 60km/h-90km/h. BMW 7 Series goes well with 90km/h-110km/h. Others are in between. For more info on that, check your own car manual.

4. Speed-up smoothly.

The ideal speed is just not enough if it's non-parallel with your gear shift. To know if it's parallel or not, be it manual or auto, your car should accelerate smoothly. Don't jack-rabbit start with it. And don't use high gear when you're slow. FYI, that cost you a lot too. If you drive an automatic, accelerate moderately so the transmission can shift up into the higher gears. Stick-shifters should shift early to keep the revs down, but don't lug the enginee. Downshift if you need to accelerate. Focus on the road for potential slowdowns. Constant speeding and braking cost you a lot.

5. Check the tire pressure.

No matter how powerful your engine is, without the right tire pressure, you are the slowest. Insufficient air requires more energy to move. Too many air makes your car more sensitive to bumps and holes, giving you a bumpy ride, also waste energy. Tires
lose air due to time and temperature (1PSI/month, 1/10 SI/degree). Be sure to check the pressure when it's cool, as high temperature may fool you (gives higher reading.

6. Check the air filter.

Picture yourself playing rugby or football with a flu. Easily gassed out, isn't it? Remove the filter and hold it up to the sun. If you can't see light coming through it, you need a new one. More effectively, use permanent filters that need cleaning rather than replacing. It saves energy and the environment.

7. Hang with the big boys.

Notice how trucks act cool in traffic jams while CLKs (like mine) speeds-up and slows down? Same principle as no. 2 and 4.

8. Roll with the big boys.

Not a very good idea if you're not used to it. But driving behind bigger vehicle (smaller vehicles could help too) protects you from air resistance. Notice that while resisting the air, your car needs more energy to manouver. My favorite big boys are the ambulance. But be careful doing this. FOCUS. Don't want a mad truck driver come chasing after me for your fault.

9. Shut the hell off (the air-cond).

Opening a window is cooler and more enjoyable provided the pollution index in the area is acceptable. At moderate speed, shutting the air-cond off is the best bet. In my part of the world, in traffic jams I can't stand the heat, thus again, DeepFriedUncle was born. At higher speed however, the A/C is more efficient.

10. Clean out your car.

As a heavyweight competitor, I know better how weight can affect your fuel. Imagine a heavyweight (85kg) in his CLK, with his dumbell set (40kg), not to mention going back from shopping with a shopaholic chick (45kg chick +120kg HER stuffs only). That's a lot of weight, dude. That was me in the yesteryears, before this catastrophe started. Invest your time in cleaning your car!

11. Plan your trip.

Think whether it's necessary or not. Combine your errands in one trip. Share your vehicle as long as you don't exceed the load limit. Since this catastrophe, I feel like living the good ol' days again; riding the KTM and LRT; get to know more people; growing my social network once more. And I'm planning on doing this even in
the aftermath of this whole disaster.

The Ultimate Forgiveness

noreply@blogger.com (Deep Fried Uncle) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:30:00 +0000

Though our sins are higher than mountains, even if we always betray our repentance, His forgiveness knows no boundary. Our sea of gratefulness worth just a drop of His pleasures on Earth. If the Lord of all creation's (forgiveness) knows no boundary, why must a mortal's has it limits?

HAVE A BLESSED EID & THOUSAND APOLOGIES. Actually this is what it's all about. Sorry, guys. That's what humans do...

Love By Numbers

noreply@blogger.com (Deep Fried Uncle) — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:22:00 +0000

I fear that I will always be,
A lonely number like root three
The three is all that's good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight

Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine
For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I'll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sadder irrationality
When hark! What is this I see?
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,

Rejoicing as an integer
We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands
Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

A Good Reason For Being Single

noreply@blogger.com (Deep Fried Uncle) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 07:49:00 +0000

Often does my fellow Rockaholics ask me, "Xedd! Why are you still single?" My students never believe that I'm single. The officemates also have an inconsiderable amount of doubts when I said I'm single. "Yeah, right, Xedd. I'll be damned if my daughter become your no. 4 (wife)". It somehow bothers me, not that I'm single, but that I seem unavailable. This just scares the birds away.

Indeed, yours truly IS unavailable. It's not my fault I'm not eagerly chasing well-developed female specimens around. It's not my fault that I possess the looks that resembles a taken man. It's not my fault that I'm unavailable for those I'm not interested in. It's not my fault also that you're not interesting, either. But is it my fault of being choosy? Perhaps! Consumers must be choosy to get the best service.

While this infotainment blog is not to promote my singleness so that the flocks of birds may come back or convey the idea of how sexually wanted I am, this blog is to answer the same question over and over at once. Justifying my status, for me, single equals freedom. It is something that I always cherish and fight for. With freedom, we can explore the world, discover new horizons, and expand our empire without reporting orally or textually to our cellphones, or more directly, to our ma'ams. We won't be emotionally blackmailed by the deadly weapons of males' destruction, namely a woman's tears and a vaginal resistance. Not to mention the punishment of forgetting some important dates (birthdates and anniversaries are not as important as you girls).

Yet, freedom is not the reason for me being single.

The reason for me being single is because I love women.

Women are creatures that are so soft on the outside, yet so strong on the inside. I doubt if I can ever stand the pain of delivering my babies. Protecting them, loving them and caring about them satisfy my analgesic hormones. Their satisfactions are men's inspiration to work harder, think smarter, earn more, and acquire more success. Their every curves and ravines are all inspirations for men to achieve the ultimate satisfaction. Grrr... The Heavens were meaningless to Adam without Eve's existence. That's why I love women.

So, what is the connection between being single and loving women?

If I'm in a relationship, how can I love women? How can I love women while I love a woman at the same time? Yes, readers. Today, this infotainment blog educates you on Grammar; 'women' is plural for 'woman'. In a world blessed with more women than men, a man's social responsibility is bigger. Your love should always be pluralistic to cater women's want and need. Besides, I got too much love to give to one particular woman, that my love exceeds way beyond her capacity.

Last words, I am not the one to be blamed, for it is the hormones that should take the blame. Men propose, yet God dispose. The Prophecy had spoken, that the richness of a servant's testosterone level is divinely ordained, way beyond the servant's mortal powers to adjust.

Pretending

noreply@blogger.com (Deep Fried Uncle) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 16:46:00 +0000

Love is a flame that can't be tamed
And though we are its willing prey
We are not the ones to blame

Trust is a word all lovers know
The glorious art of staining souls
We are not the ones to blame
The more we have the more we want
And the more it hurts our hearts
It always ends up in tears

So keep on pretending
Our heaven is worth the waiting
Keep on pretending it's alright
So keep on pretending
It will be the end of our craving
Keep on pretending
It's alright

When doubts arise the game begins
The one we will never win
It always ends up in tears...

So keep on pretending
Our heaven is worth the waiting
Keep on pretending it's alright
So keep on pretending
It will be the end of our craving
Keep on pretending
It's alright

Love is a flame that can't be tamed
And though we are its willing prey
We are not the ones to blame..