Deep Inside... Rocking from within!

My best 7

2014-01-20T21:16:00.001+05:30

Excerpts from my understanding of my life. If it sounds ridiculous, you are free to discuss and a lot more free to reject the ideas below!

Disclaimer:

Though it sounds, even to me, as if these are original thoughts of mine, I cannot deny the fact that these bits and pieces were actually the inferences and improvisation over the preaching of somebody else - say Lord Krishna or ThiruValluvar or Sathguru or my Father, with resepect to actual effects of incidents in my life.

Lesson 1

HAPPINESS OR SORROW - IT IS INFECTIOUS AND THE INTENSITY REDUCES AS YOU PASS ON THE INFECTION TO THE SURROUNDINGS

When you feel happy or sorrow and when you share with your loved ones, it infects them. It makes them join your mood - be it joyful or sorrowful. But, when it is shared, the intensity of the feeling splits into 3 parts - 1 part to the with you, one part with your friend and the other to the environment. It doesn't mean, one should not share. But, it means we can always share with a very less most trusted circle, who we know will always be there for us.

Lesson 2

STRESS IS A SYMBOL OF FAILURE (A FEAR) TO HANDLE A NEW SITUATION

It is very probable that everyone of us get stressed, when we are introduced into a new environment. Because, the picture frame which we have about the world we live in, is changed substantially when the environment changes. So, it takes some time for us to accommodate the fact that something has changed. But, this accomodation gets easier when we try to remain with the flow, without losing our values, rather than inteding to change it as we desire. One who knows and learns to handle the change in situation, is relieved of the stress, which is primarily the fear of comfortable living.

Lesson 3

ANNOYANCE MULTIPLIES

Stress makes us get annoyed with the environment and with the people who we know, will never leave us alone - in other words, those who we take for granted. I say this because, one doesn't tend to show the stress to people who are new. That's a sign of trust that we have on the relationship, and love starts fading at this point. We tend to go far that we fail to see the pains that we cause to the beloved and much more concerned about the pain we are in.

Too much of trust is as deceiving and dangerous as having nothing at all.

The problem gets worse when the person opposite to to us, takes us for granted and responds back in a similar fashion. It multiplies between the entities, to a point which breaks down one of the two.

Lesson 4

SO IS LOVE...!

The only way to assess the limits is to put the ourselves on other's shoes - that happens by itself, when you have a stronger love with that person.

Just like the annoyance, love is also something that gets multiplied between two people. The more the sincere love you show for other, the more the other responds to it. Of course, this will not happen when the LOVE IS FILLED WITH AN EXPECTATION FROM THE OTHER... When somebody loves the other, expecting something from them, it actually means THEY LOVE THEMSELVES MORE THAN THE OTHER.

LOVING SOMEBODY JUST FOR THE SAKE OF LOVING IS PHENOMENAL... RARE OF THE RAREST. CAN OFTEN BE FOUND IN MOTHERS (OR MOTHER-LIKE).

Lesson 5

GRATITUDE IS THE WAY TO LOVE, WHICH IN TURN, MAKES EITHER OF THEM - THE TRANSMITTER AND THE RECEIVER - STRONG AND HAPPY

During my days in College until those days in Saudi Arabia, I used to feel like the whole life threw some sh** on my face. Something was terribly not my kind; neither that i needed. Something that was not meant for me.

Everything around me seemed to force me into something that I am not. I hated the word "Change"

I ardently hoped for the life to remain the way I was comfortable with.

I used to suffer with inability to comprehend what was happening around. I showed all my frustrations from things around me, on everybody who I knew, that I loved from the bottom of my heart. [Ref. lesson 1 to 4 for the causes]

Then, I got this book - "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne. I read this book only to kill my time, then - as part of my attempts to vent out the frustrations. The first thing I noticed from the book was to

thank the bed on which I slept the last night and then continue thanking everything I use.

It was so stupid when I read. But, I just tried it with a blind belief. I thanked the Bed, the pillow, the bed sheet, then the tooth brush and almost everything. That is when I started to feel that it was me who threw sh** on my face.

I understood that I have lived a very stupid life, until then. All those things were around me, had helped me remain comfortable. I was taking them for granted and never cared about them, in return.

No matter how big or small an object is, it has its own significance in the big picture. It just needs to be regarded. Once we do that, we start getting close to realization of the ultimate truth.

Lesson 6

HANDLING KARMA - DETACH ONE'S SELF FROM THE RESULTS OF YOUR ACTIONS

Karma is a very popular term and the most less understood. For now, I can suggest only one thing.

Don't act based on your desires. Just listen to what is right for that situation. Do your duty. And, the rest falls in place.

When you start doing this, at some point, you will realize what KARMA is all about.

Lesson 7

CHANGE IS INEVITABLE AND SURVIVAL COMES WITH ACCEPTANCE OF THE INTENT TO CHANGE.

Only thing, that would be possible perpetually is to "love your neighbor".

Eternal Sunshine of a spotless mind!

2011-01-13T02:40:00.004+05:30

Well known as the name of a movie, at least for those who were with me during my final year of BTech at CECRI. I watched this movie several times; was not much impressed though I liked the storyline.

Out of the blue sky, I was like, 'What has happened to me...?!'

Certainly, Nothing...! I'm perfectly okie!!

But then, something kept me perturbed. I decided to give it some time. I was trying to understand the problem - seemed something like I didn't have any problem to worry, despite a bulk! It was a kind of selfishness, that was eating me up. Somewhere in the nook, I could feel I was selfish, but on the whole, I didn't want to wake up to it and just tried to keep on with my chores.

What do I do?

I earn something to live.
I enjoy my time watching movie (- merely searching our experiences in someone else's dream)
I do my work with whole of my heart; don't lose a minute in despair
I feel happy taking a sip or bath in alcohol, at the weekends
I feel contented in finding a way out to share my father's yoke

But then, I have a huge list that I don't do!

I forget to be, what I wanted to be (By the way, what I wanted to be is a separate part of this session!)
I prefer being deaf to my senses that alarmed my weight. I never took it serious. I don't want to be gorgeous but then, I know I'm not comfortable this way
At the end of the day, I remember that I forget my friend's birthday
I know I don't love termites, but still I forget to keep my books away from it. Have put a number of books on the rack - procrastinated for more than an year now!
Above all this, I am deprived of access to the society - rather a self-implied-deprivation ensuring myself being fresh the next day - I almost lost the idea of social living!

What I wanted to be?

Fact is 'I don't know!' - rather, i had too many.

Why was I like that? - Baaaaaaammmm... Wrong Question!

There was only one problem that I could see - I liked everything when I didn't like anything. I was becoming adaptive to anything. A series of failures (of course, not really, but as I saw it) made me take anything, as it comes. I have lost my own idea of being myself.

Then, what is the problem...? There is exactly not any problem and that was the problem.

Conclusion

Lets end the show! It is a conflict between the reality and surrealism.

Reality is my awareness to take care of myself and those who rely on me. Reality owed me a gift - the fear of the choice I make.

Surrealism lies with the ways I find to make myself believe that I still have the freedom of choice. It is the part that I enact to fight my guilt.

I understood that Guilt is more dear than the surrealistic approach to kill the Guilt!

What have I scored? - 4 (final)

2010-04-28T14:23:00.012+05:30

As I have told, I'm trying to finish off my venture with this (hopefully) delight final note. My target was focused on the drawbacks of our Educational system. And, now, I understood that we are far better than the (d)elite dwellers on earth, most of whom enjoy travel and are capable of thoroughly inspecting the maps. As in the past, we are in a way familiar with by-heart-ing (memorize) and recitation, if not for understanding, atleast for the sake of the pressure from the Gurus! Many might not have understood why it is required to remember things by heart.

We (our forefathers) knew long back that the brain needs to be trained to remember things which is capable of giving you hand, when you see things in real! Yes, we Indians have got the best conservative plans. We can operate school with out labs! We have!! One side of the coin - a very pitiable situation for schools in this modern times. The other side of the coin - we entrust the capabilities of imagination in children and try to cultivate them from within. Students from the schools without labs are doing very much better when they enter into highly sophisticated labs.

I presume that every one would have had this feeling - "Huh... I don't like this subject because I don't like that teacher!" Isn' it? It is because, either of the two reasons - you don't understand what he teaches or you don't like the way when he speaks Latin to you.

In the past, we had this scheme of "Gurukulla" education system. We had great sincerity and dedication to our teachers. We learnt discipline and the idea behind it, being in it. Now, we dint feel like respecting our teachers (may be they didn't give us the space for respecting them, but still we should have). That is exactly where we lack.

These things are left hidden in our pretext of respecting education as Sarashwati or any god! But, we have given up the intention in paying interest to what we do and how we do, "by heart"!

By heart - the phrase is widely used and very far mistakenly understood. It doesn't mean you blindly close your eyes and take things in your brain. But, it is actually understanding things,

taking it to the heart,
feeling it at heart,
doing things from heart.

Once you do something from heart, with a complete realization of the capability and scope - you never forget that! That is the end result of your dedication and not just recitation.

Such kind of a memory, help us in lot ways. You keep walking on the road. You see the leaves falling off from a tree. You realize the effect of the mass of the invisible gas which provides the viscosity causing the resistance to the fall, the inability of gravity to accelerate a substance with less mass in a linear profile of fall, the transformation of the law of linear acceleration to a imaginary polynomial function which can describe the trajectory followed by that little leaf - the path of least-resistance.

Why to complicate life this hard? It may sound so, until you don't understand what has been described. It is like the difference between believing in god and seeing god! As long as you enjoy the marvel ventures of science you believe science is wonderful. When you realize how it happens, you see what science is capable of.

Without such a thought, it wouldn't have been possible for us to design an aircraft or a safety pin. The acumen is not gained by teaching. It is something you gain by your own dedication and interest to what it is like when you are living!

The basic question of "What the heck does 'life' mean?" and "what the hell am I doing in middle of this desert, wasting my life!" :P

I had that time to think. I had that time to pin-point the slippery part of our system.

The inability of the teacher - how does this come! A number of reasons are there:

1. We humans expect our teachers to be paid low and don't expect the institutions to demand more.

2. When we start owning a school, we try to loot people showing the efficacy and quality of the education provided, still not paying much to our employees - the teachers.

3. We like being fooled by the marks that we score in the terminal examinations which tests your ability to recorded things and not the things by heart.

4. Once we gain acumen and the idea of how things should be, we seek for a better position instead of being a teacher, since we are not paid justified.

5. With this materialistic world, we don't find space for living unless we are either an Engineer, a Doctor, a Entrepreneur, if not at least a Politician.

6. We are awestruck with the media that fantasizes and changes the focus of most of our desires and gets hold of our wishes.

7. We don't find time to rejoice and realize between the IPL and the FIFA!

8. We are very much interested in making money out of every s**t on earth.

9. We are very much motivated to take care of ourselves, even at the expense of others!

The fault with every individual - At the least try to remember what you have memorized for the examination and relate it with your life whenever and wherever possible.

Certainly, it is not fair if I expect anyone - who is not much concerned about education, to read through this. But, you - my friends can realize what else would be wrong and help the way out, in your own ways!

Cheers to all...!

-The End-

Note: I'm not a theist or a atheist. I am an agnostic, waiting for the presence of god and in search of the "GOD"!

Next on blog:

Revolutions of the century - between the rights and the riots!

What have I scored? - 3

2010-02-09T21:56:00.004+05:30

It is almost six months, since I last wrote this blog. Sounds like I'm being too lazy or light hearted about this. But, the fact is this - I have lost track of what I was writing about...!

I was trying to tell the present scenario as how our education system goes. Then, there came a comment. It said something like, "It is possible for everyone to comment on our education system and dream something out of the vast expanse of this universe. But, it lies in your solution to the problem. How you solve it!?" I was dumbstruck. Of course, he has said that I was one other Jack who just cries the problem instead of the solution. I didnot want to be an opposition party leader - pointing out things and just trusting my spirits to change things when I would get to the hot seat; also, knew that I was insufficient (as far as now) to be the governing leader too! Atleast I'm happy that I'm not made an advertisement to Nobel Prize... :D

I decided. 'I will start writing the blog only when i find the solution!'

Well... What does this mean, when I have started writing this blog. Have I found a solution? Yes... Some sort of...! :D

It took almost 175 days to conclude on what to write and how to complete. Though the fact about engineering described in previous blogs are true, it is inevitable that we are doing great! Years before, my father had once told me that he had read somewhere that Indian Education System was far better than many other parts of the world. Now, I do understand that he was right!

The education system has its play but not as much to neglect the focus and interests of the kid. Wait a minute... Did I ever say that the structure is wrong? To be specific, the way we are motivated and trained to look at our books... That's were I had those hard feelings! Owing to some viscious mind set that we have developed over the years, our focus on education seems to have struck with the materialistic side. Like we do some Pooja to God with more inclination to procedure than to God Himself...!
What is there in doing Pooja without a focus to God? So feasible, a question. But, on the other hand, it really has some effect. We do something always better of an engineer than many others in this world.

A bad blog, but will catch you afresh, on the continuation - part 4. Trust me, this will be the final.

What have I scored? - 2

2009-08-18T15:49:00.003+05:30

I strongly feel that we have been diverted from the very aspect of education. Marks are supposed to rate our performance against others of the same set, believing it to scale the intellect gained. But, where has it gone? Is that motive still alive? I am afraid for it is not! I remember one of my guides, Dr. S. Madhu, who used to say "Thousands get an engineering degree when ten engineers are really born!"

We are no more in search of knowledge or acumen, rather than the surface level transformations to score! Yes... It is just a superficial action to memorize something, recite it and pour it on to a paper. The soul idea of learning that is lost! I even doubt myself if I'm against this attitude just because I couldn't do it!? But, I am sure that this has to be opposed. And, focused back to where it has to be. It is the evolution of the biological system that has made the current system out-moded! Man has found ways to cheat the scale! I don't mean the toppers are not deserved of that. Definitely not. But, the game is no more fair!

The basic rule of competition should be a common stand and equal provision of resources. Our pride in diversity is doubtful when we realize that our villages are far from towns, and towns are far from cities. It is no wrong. The funniest part is the effort by the state government to remove TNPCEE, providing equal space for pupils from villages, so that every one can become nothing but a 'TAPE RECORDER'! The State government has weak (rather, no!) policies to strengthen the work output of teachers in government schools (may be because they were afraid of losing votes, one of the main factors that helped them against JJ!). Nevertheless, a few teachers in villages and government schools have started working harder but have failed to produce students.

By virtue, the colleges do not go good for 'Tape recorders' initially. Slowly, tape recorders become adaptive in recording the whole of engineering!

And now, I have found why my guides words were true. When they come out of an engineering college, they are not ready for the real scenario. They have harnessed their view to the books and specifically the text, not the idea!

To be continued...

What have I scored?

2009-08-16T22:47:00.007+05:30

For quite sometime, I had this eating up my thoughts. Something was mistaken. Something was misinterpreted. Something lost the track of what it was supposed to be! It is not weird if it reminds you of something else other than what I am going to write about, as everything becomes that 'something' which is prone to misinterpretation by virtue of the limits of intellect of the respondent, most of the time. ;)

It is quite normal for a father - who has dreamt so much about winning life and has eventually failed in doing so, to say his son, "You should top your class dear. It is the humble dream of your father!"

I remember the words from my mother who always had a sad opinion about most of my relatives. She felt like I was the only choice for her to depend on, in regaining the lost honor of my ancestors - technically it was 99% my father! Sorry, if that sounds ridiculous when I say, 'He feels himself to have failed in making it!'

She would say, "Vikash, உங்க அப்பா வாழ்க்கை-ல தொத்து போனத நீ தான் சரி செய்ய முடியும். நம்ம எல்லாம் middle class people. நமக்கு படிப்பு தான் வாழ்க்கை. படிச்சா தான் நல்ல நிலைமைக்கு வர முடியும்...!"

And all that she can tell, to make me "Yes Raghu... You have to do it!" But, Gosh... How long would it stand? At certain point of time, I realized that I had my own deficiency (which I would really never accept, except for writing this article) in remembering what I have learned. I had a poor memory structure. My vision was my source of learning. If I couldn't visualize it, then I will soon forget that! I mean very soon... Definitely before putting that on my answer sheets, at least! ;)

I had developed some sort of guilt even, when I feared that I am not going to make it, with my schooling at Ramanathapuram. Anyone who knows about Abdul Kalam would say, "He could make it from here. Then, why can't you?" I have only one thing in return. "May be, APJ should have tried it now!"

When I was a kid in LKG, I would watch my sister reciting multiplication tables during the recital hour in her class. I fascinated the day, when I would get the chance to do that. I got it. Trust me, it was the worst dream ever. I cried when I got the chance, as I couldn't withstand the pain in my knuckles which had become red, on hitting at it every time I made a mistake. It was the cruel babysitter (Aaayama!) who delivered all her wrath on her drunkard husband on my knuckles taking chances of my memory, then.

To be continued...

Personality Profile

2009-08-01T16:06:00.004+05:30

There is something interesting that I wanted to post. I guess you people might be interested in this.

I am not sure if you all are in facebook. But, I got this application from there.

Guess, this link might be useful to take your test. Try it, atleast that it is interesting!

Personality Profile - click over the text to be redirected to the webpage.

View Full MyPersonality.org Profile

0 50 100	%
Openness	95%
Conscientiousness	80%
Extraversion	81%
Agreeableness	74%
Neuroticism	23%

My name is Anbukarasu... V.Anbukarasu IAS

2009-07-23T15:51:00.001+05:30

That was a catchy dialogue from one of the movies - "Pasanga". This is not certainly a review of the movie. Instead, this is about a spark that stroke us when we were browsing through friends' profiles in orkut. Didn't I say us? It was Bharanidharan and me, spending our time with a sip of Mc-Whisky after a long time! The main intention of our glance through orkut, was to pick out few unknown girls and try to resolve the girls who were in out-of-focus; of course, not by software but just mentally. Accidentally, we realized something. There was a common notion among 70% of the crowd to post photographs, for which they wanted to be applauded.

I suppose the brilliant idea of having photos in orkut was to share the apparently valuable memories. There was a commonness in the photographs that were chosen to be remembered. It was a Foreigner. People felt happier to pose the time they spent with foreigners. I cynically felt if it was the residual effect of the 400 years of slavery, that we see every white skinned man with awe! Though my altruistic alter-ego left me a feeling of denial, my caustic side was vigorous. The west had always spent time in dominating us and have successfully kept our proficient men under the dark. May be, I should correct my verse - The west have made everyone believe that they were the best.

This wasn't any profound fact, but just that we didn't spend time to remember what we knew. Rather, we were busy running like everyone else on the run. And, to ascertain that we are a step ahead, we need some kind of proofs to our vantage point - we took photographs. Certainly, there are times when we need others' attention. But, every way, there is nothing wrong with this and it is perfectly alright. As I took a closer look of the same, I realized that we were mentally lame. We want some kind of a boost, occasionally or frequently depending up on how lame we are!

Another set off photograph was peculiar. It was peculiar to see the lead man of that piece of art, in a way he is totally not! Or something to blow that he is very artistic. And, that he is ardent in photography, especially doing something that he believed is out of the blue sky. He was doing all that to keep him, watched always. Now, I have questioned myself, is that true - 'Orkut lets us share photographs that were valuable'?

If the answer is yes, then the value that everyone gives for a piece is different from the other. And, if the answer is no, then it should be corrected as 'Orkut lets us share photographs that we feel like showing others'! First is a sense of preserving valuable memories while the later is the sense of choosing what to be preserved. Though it is not the subject, it seems a valuable point to me! :D

This was the point when I understood the lead role of the movie "Pasanga" - V.Anbukarasu, as how he had enjoyed every time he was appreciated. May be, my cynical mind would have been a product of my thinking set - the way we pursue things. But, I am clever enough to keep in mind that it is after all a perception. It is not a question of good or bad and it is not definitely bad as long as it is away from ones' nose!

Finally, what is the sole idea of this post? It is just to remind you that you should appreciate whatever you do and realize what you really did with a keen sense of why you did!

P.S.: While creating the collage pasted here, I chose the people who can take this criticism in a easier and broad-minded way. It certainly includes the people who really deserve to hear this and sadly, it includes myself and Bharani too. We realized that we too had done the same!

One night at the Elliot's Beach...

2009-07-18T11:56:00.001+05:30

disclaimer: This photo does not belong to me. I found it over the net but failed to note the owner.

It has been twelve days since I landed at the Anna International Airport at Meenambakkam, chennai. The runback home may not be for this; may not be for that. But, it was also a part of the desires that drove me all the way, across some 4000 miles. It was about my brother...

As brothers, our thoughts and beliefs seldom contradicted unlike our physique. We had been discussing, over the past ten instances that we spent at Elliot's Beach, regarding the way we see things around us. I am not sure as why my brother was rebellious about being amicable at home. Still, I understood that he never wanted to. It was a kind of a compulsive personality disorder that he had developed, just the way I had had when I was of his age. I was even worse being compounded with the Cognitive Disorder of Progressives and a Borderline Personality Disorder (Comorbid). In spite of that, I managed to keep myself alive at the worst of my situations with extraordinary supports from the most valuable friends and impeccable love.

It was 10.30 PM the last time we reached the Elliot's Beach Corridor. In the previous nine visits, we had been little earlier to our spot, somewhere around 9 o’clock. May be, it is the breeze at the beach, which fuels our mutual passion of being sagacious. I ever had a feeling that I was something different and am waiting to something that is totally radically enlightening. Nevertheless I had the respect for every single soul around me. It was the one that I learnt from the past love-life. (Learning can be from the insight of either – others’ best or their faults. I don’t prefer to express how I learnt it! J) I believed that this brother might also be a victim of a delusion of that kind.

It took me four hard years to complete the book on “Life for Dummies”. And, now this soul was not left alone and hence, restrained from reading that book. I was given the chance of reading it, only when I was alone. I started walking through it, only when I had the time to do – being bored by a zero chance to perform the rebel-rituals! It was when, I didn’t have anything more to be rebellious about!! There was nothing around me and that gave me everything that I wanted. This brother didn’t have that kind of space around. So, I felt the duty of showing him the book, in that critical hour. All I could understand was that it was time for my brother to realize the wonderful book on his hand. He had the pages but didn’t find the time to read. And, I realized that Elliot’s Beach might give him the privilege of looking on to his palm.

I decided to give him an abridged version of what he had to know from them. The past nine visits to Elliot’s laid the foundation. And, I never knew that this night – I would build it, until the minute before I built it. It started with a very silly question from my brother, “What would you change in your past, if you had been given a chance to that? You can use it just once and only once!”

I replied, “I would wait for a worse past that might happen someday in future.”

Then he added a constraint that the gift of change was valid for just that day. I said, “May be, I would use them to change the mind sets of my love’s parents for whom I had to give up the most important thing of my life”

He gave a smile and stayed silent. May be, he wanted me to post him the same question. I did.

He said, “I wouldn’t have taken Biotechnology and I would have changed that option. But then, I had a spark only when you told, ‘You cannot always make the right choice, but it is up to you to make the choice right!’ So, I would have asked for my mom, the way she is today, to have been from my childhood.”

It was my turn to post a smile and added, “May be, you should have been 21 years old when you were that kid to get the mother that you have today.” I wanted to tell him that nothing was wrong now and nothing would have been any better.

He gave a smile again, seeing his silliness shattered. I realized that I should tell him about one of most important lessons that I had ever learnt - the love life. I had been in search of love from people who were resilient about it. I was almost deaf to the people who poured love on me. There were thousands, who cared about me, and yet all my senses were praying for her love to sprinkle on me. I almost forgot that there was my mother back at home, praying for me and fighting all her odds, just for the sake of keeping me happy. There were times when she needed a shoulder, and I had been mean to that even. Infact, I believed that it was her destiny to suffer, giving birth to a child like me – the worst prodigy.

I started with a question, "Have you ever felt that you know it is wrong but you cannot skip it?"

He interrupted, "Like what?"

"Like you always have a guilt that you shouldn't have done that; like you were reluctant to listen to your senses which keeps telling you that you are wrong about something - still sticking to it just for the sake of sticking to it!"

His reply was just, "Nope!" I know he is still fooled by his senses. I replied, "May be, if I tell what it is, you will feel like raising your consent to it!"

"We always search for love in others and you stick to the one who is hard for you to be approached. You seldom see the people around you who love you more than the one you are in search of. Have you felt it?"

He was dumbstruck. The best of things comes out of nothing, the way the universe was born. Steven Hawkins knew that. I remembered what he knew. I didn't want him to be drowned in thoughts; instead helped him, "What about your mother and father? Don't you feel guilty of not being responsive the love they shared? May be, they loved you just because you are their son. But, they spent their life thinking about you. And, what is your gratitude to that?"

I saw his eyes irritated. His silence was the acknowledgement of his compulsive reluctance against listening to his inner voice - the guilt that he neglected to keep himself free from being eaten up.

I thought of giving him an example with a movie, a common subject that he can see for himself. I asked, "Tell me your favourite movie?"

He replied without a pinch of doubt, "V for Vendetta"

I was litterally startled with that answer as it was far away from the love that I wanted to screen before him. But, then, I had a spark. I just asked, "Why would you say that?"

He was eager to explain, "It was a story of a forgotten hero. A hero who had been less celebrated. One like Netaji Subash Chandra Bose. He did not get the right recognition when he had to!"

I saw his eyes glittering and bright as he had explained one of his deep concerns about society. I just interrupted him, "You speak of V with the mask of Guy Fawkes and the less recognized hero Subash chandra bose. Do you know of the man who lived in Chennai and mostly attributed as a paranoid? He was in pondicherry as a refuge from the British government for someday. He was born in ettaiyaburam!"

As I told that, he said, "Veerapandia Kattaboman?"

I laughed. I replied, "It is Subramania Bharathiyar. 'Thaedi soru nithem thindru, chinanchiru kathaigal paesi, pirar vada pala seiyalgal seithu, Manam vadi thunbam migavulandru, nirai koodi kizhapparuvam yethi, kodunkootruku iraiyena pin maiyum pala vaedikkai manitharai pol, naanum veelvaen endru ninaithaiyo?'"

I didn't expect him to be ashamed of his incompetency, as he can be excused for choosing Hindi as his second language. I added, "There was also another man who is not much recognized in spite of the sacrifices he made. He had lived for almost 54 years and have remained a rolling stone, without gathering a mass for his sake. He was, is and will be working for his most valuables. Do you know of that man? It is none other than your Father."

"Hmmm... You cry for the recognition of people you don't know and never thought about recognizing the extraordinary soul near you. So, how far is it fair on your part to fight for the recognition of Netaji Subash Chandra Bose? What do you think you deserve to ask people and insist them about their faults, when you are faulty by yourself?"

" I am sorry about saying this but it is time you should be listening to this!"

His eyes were still glittering not in excitement, but by the internal reflection and reinforcement of reflected faint light of the surroundings, between the watery layer on his eyes - a film of tear!

I knew this tear will never make me guilty unlike the tears that demands me to realize, 'I shouldn't have done that'. This tear was the acknowledgement of my effective transfer of the abridged version of the book, I read - "Life for Dummies"

To the Onus to Choose the Better Thief!

2009-04-16T16:54:00.000+05:30

Courtesy: my friend cum well wisher - Mr. K. Bharanidharan @cognizant.

Finally, I have received my voter’s id, after my fourth attempt. I was thinking about the party to which I can cast my vote in the 15th LS election. I decided to read the manifestations of the BJP, the Congress and the third front. Yes! Sitting idle in my office, restricting myself from licking my thumb, I was grazing over them. I bet; it was very tedious to condense the mammoth manifestos and incorporating my views into them.

BJP lead NDA:

I was taken aback when I was reading the BJP’s manifesto by the way it was exaggerated in the media. Excerpts from BJP manifesto.

1) NDA’s lucid vision about fighting against the terror by improving upon the POTA, completely revamping intelligence agencies, setting up intelligence agencies, issuing national ID card etc is very impressive. NDA still enjoys the faith of most of citizens because of its track record of national security policies and their implementation.

2) On reviving the national economy from recession to growth, most of the points are unclear.

3) Though NDA remains committed to implementation of the 33% political representation from women, it’s a never-ending story.

4) BJP promises to facilitate the protection of Tamils in Sri Lanka. This just seems to be a political placard against the Congress. So, in my perspective, I would declare this agenda, null and void. I’m just wondering who (ministers) will coordinate with BJP from TamilNadu.

5) Oath to build the Ram temple in Ayodhya. This is being exaggerated by the media neglecting a plenty of other good things to discuss about. However, this agenda is a s**t as far as I’m concerned. It’s not that I’m saying this just because I’m an atheist. But, I am trying my humanity inside. There are strong reasons that it could lead to civil instability in India. Nobody wants to see a second episode of 6/12. Even BJP does not discuss about this issue in the rallies, since they are aware of a potential danger of back-firing on them.

6) BJP promises 35 kg rice and wheat at Rs 2/Kg. This is a gimmick to woo the BPL people. Note that Congress promises 25 Kg rice and wheat at Rs 3/Kg, which seems to be an optimized value. I’m not sure how much of accurate calculation and analysis has been done to arrive at these numbers.

Though BJP has the edge over the counter-parts in terms of manifesto, BJP is still widely considered as a regional party with a soft corner towards religion. It may provide the best of national security at the border against the intruders but at the cost of communal violence inside the country. Its weakness is that it does not even have few other major regional parties in the lotus pond, though there are speculations about Jaya joining NDA, post-election. Varun episode will have negligible impact on the result, though he was popularized. I would be surprised if BJP is able to win maximum of 15 constituencies from TN, AP and Kerala. BJP is still literally contesting in half of India.

Congress lead UPA:

Congress manifesto boasts about the sign off of indo-us nuclear deal, waiver of farmer loans worth of 65K crores, implementation of NREGA scheme, fastest GDP growth etc. The future plans are almost same as that of NDA’s in issues like fighting against terrorism, women empowerment, IT development. Surprisingly, congress did not mention anything about the completion of RamSethu project. It enjoys the reputation of its financial security track records.

The seat-sharing negotiations were going well initially until it took nose-dive when Lalu and Mulayam Singh refused to offer the number of seats demanded by Congress. This could very well prove to be the worst decision made by the think-tank of Congress. The opinion polls hint that Congress has upper hand against BJP in many constituencies. I would not be surprised if Congress again tries to steer the ship against the toughest coalition muddy water. The aam admi will give priority to financial security rather than the national security, which could very well be provided by UPA as most of us believe.

Third Front:

The CPI(M) manifesto blames the Congress for the price rice, BJP for communal violence threats. It has little to offer other than the restatement of its known positions like improving the food security, amending 123 agreement, caring for the BPL people. It promises to provide the farm loan at 4% interest rate, 14 essential commodities. The manifesto is exclaimed as the old wine in a new bottle by the political analysts. CPI will make the higher class people to cast their votes this time (obviously, against it) because of the fear of possible stringent actions against the investment policies. Thanks to the third front!

The strength of third front is having popular regional parties like JD(S), AIADMK, PMK, TDP, NCP, BJD in its bucket. The prime ministerial candidate is a major issue, as there are high possibilities of alter-ego and opportunistic jump of regional parties from one pool to the other, just for the sake of money. Though the iron lady of Indian politics, Maya decided to face this election on her own irrespective of tacit agreement with third front, there is a possibility of joining into the third front post-elections by demanding the prime ministerial post. The BSP is expected to win at least 30-40 constituencies by not only sweeping the entire Dalits vote out of 80 constituencies in UP. I don’t see anything to be bewildered, if India happens to see five prime ministers from different parties without the LS election for 4-5 years.

Fourth Front:

‘Opportunism’ is the word that strikes my mind when I think of the fourth front. An aimless alliance formed by the trio Mulayam-Lalu-Paswan.
The PRP leader Chiranjeevi expressed his interest in joining the fourth front. I’m pretty much sure about Lalu returning to the UPA (by demanding huge amount and being convinced by the likes of Sonia and Pranab). There is not much to talk about the opportunists.

Predictions:

Even though the BJP manifesto is impressive, I worry about the economical feasibility of implementation of the schemes, considering the recession. In my view, the most possible outcome of this election will be a hanging parliament situation followed by the formation of UPA government by pulling the horses from counter-parts. I have to admit that I may defied by the hidden treasures on hold with the mammoths. Money is once again going to play vital role, which is a shame on the whole of India. The meltdown of national leadership is very clear now as this will lead to difficulties in solving the inter-state issues. The high emergence of regional parties will aggravate the pain at the centre to pass the bills. The onus to choose the better thief is on us! I felt that I have social responsibility not to use words like thief, but couldn't find a better word. I regret my vocabulary at times like this!

Just as proud as I should be!

2009-04-12T15:38:00.000+05:30

This is wasn't just a chance. It was my right and duty to be! I am here after a long time just for my sake. Longtime, since I ever had enough time to peek in. Being far away which I never thought I would be, I miss my India. I understood how happy I had been on her lap and how sweet the freedom I had. There was a day when I even wished to kidnap all idiotic politicians here, who make fun out of every indian. They really aren't aware of how badly they are misusing the freedom. The hard fought freedom has been forgotten. They never realised the blood that has been shed. Patriots have been their saviours and now they are ignorant of the pains that was paid to get this!

Everyone has a heart. Deep inside crying for things to change. But, every day-break makes us forget our responsibility. We should have never been asleep. A country like the one I live in now, can only teach people how important it is to breathe free air. Every indian here, have beckoned the freedom they had. They have understood. Others back on her lap, have seldom had the chance of understanding it.

That day, when I had a walk on the sea shore here, I was flying through the clouds to see that block written as India. I am not sure what it was written for. It might have been to classify workers. It might have been some pranks after boozing. I really don't know anything for sure. But, all I knew was just one thing - I miss my India.

Love my country... Jai Hind!

Semiconducting behaviour....

2007-10-01T01:01:00.000+05:30

Wondering about semiconductor technology - i mean the chemistry and physics behind it! Every bit of semiconductor has to do something with the bond energy and this specifies the specificity of compounds exhibiting semiconducting behaviour. Silicon has four electrons in its valence shell. This gives it a probability - little less than 50% to form a negative ion and little above 0.5 to form a positive ions(due to the distance of the valence shell from the nucleus)! This makes it loose the electron with the rise of temperature. This is how semiconductors were born! Carbon has a similar structure of the valence shell but the orbital is close to the nucleus making the probability 0.5 to form both positive and negative ions! Hence they go completely into a new class of compounds called "organics" which are omnipresent!

Also. it's worth while to remember that carbon and silicon are found abundant on earth! I still believe that there would be a place somewhere in universe which would encourage something other than the "OCTECT Rule"! There, silicon and carbon will be a reactive element and something else would posses the characters of C and Si! It's really wonderful to think of it!

Diclaimer: Every bit of this article is hypothetical. Still working on proving the statements made!

The Miracle...

2007-08-23T22:57:00.000+05:30

Searching the origin of man on earth........ To much of my wonder, I found myself to be a complex matrix of various organic compounds starting from carbohydrates to the nucleic acid that forms the fingerprint of human character. These are something to be pretty well appreciated on an ogle as to an astounding girl. To be frank, this really is beautiful - the way this complex organic mixture behaves! This mixture has the ability to vibrate to make a sound! It has the best sensor for taste, vision, smell, touch and a microphone(Ear-drum)! The most important fact is that this complex mixture(adonis) gets attracted to a mixture in different composition(venus). The EMR reflected from the mixture catalyses the chemical potential between these mixtures and makes them interested in getting closer. This mixture knows to love, to hate, to hurt, to generate energy by internal combustion(the best energy conversion device). It has the property to shed tears when it feels missing someone! So cute is the Life on earth and so is the vibrance of the molecules.

What are feelings? Any guess or views?

To me, it appears as the energy flow between different clusters of molecules. How is the propagation? The fastest conduction....

More on complex....!

2007-07-23T23:50:00.000+05:30

The imaginary part governs the specificity of a point, what does the magnitude of the imaginary part stresses is still profound.

I understand complex number a lot better when i understand the 'time'! It has a silent but versatile rule over the real part or 'space'. Our presence in the real system is true but has an impact due to time which is not felt as a space.

When i explained that, i find something new striking hard. Time is actually not something that we believe as space - that is, the way you count space should not be adopted to count time. It has a different behaviour rather than just a number that we believe in the space coordinates. This difference is something imparted by the 'i'!

About the ith part of a complex number

2007-07-23T00:10:00.000+05:30

I have got an explantion for the complex behaviour. When a function in n dimensions, behaves in morethan n dimensions it occupies the imaginary space. For example, when a two dimensional system in x and y behaves in more than two dimensions, it takes the complex imaginary plane.
Again, in the case of a space time distribution, time occupies an imaginary axis. The effect of time on space is super imposed. Even when it has no notable impact except for the specificity of that point. If we consider space in n dimension, then n+1th dimension is defined by the time involved. However, the time scale may not be confined to have born from a single dimension. There is every possibility of time to behave as multi dimensional.

Also, the presence of a point, becomes a line in the complex plane - this is how i understand the super position of i on the real part.

A number 0.0000001 will become 1, if we collapse the time and a little bit of selective amnesia.

Best of my weird ideas...

2007-07-22T23:53:00.000+05:30

I am suffering from a psychological disorder. I feel like the whole world is different when you view and it's different in my view. If you see 'blue', it would be 'red' for me. But i would believe it to be 'blue'. Similarily, What you call as curve is probably linear to me! If i touch a sphere, it gives me a feeling of sphere. But, it would be a square for you - a square with a radius! You can realise that to be a square only if you see through my senses! Hmmm.... I have a profound feeling as the world what i see is not real! It's just my belief - deceptive! An enormous illusion. Any one interested in a chat can catch me at raghu.cecri@gmail.com!

Let you people know me....

2007-07-22T23:43:00.000+05:30

I am Raghuvaran Ganesan, an under graduate student of chemical and electrochemical engineering. But, I am interested more in science than engineering. Love mathematics too. An idle mind is the devil's workshop. Mine too is such a one! Whenever idle, i end up with weird ideas and freaks. So, thought of posting it! Here it goes!